Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Transformers Fan Fiction ❯ Death is Never the End ❯ EndNotes

Postscript for DEATH IS NEVER THE END

This story accepts as canon the 'James Bond' films produced by EON Productions and starring Sir Sean Connery, plus 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service'; note that Connery will be 85 years old in 2015.

I made many changes to 'Death' as I was writing it. Originally, Shiro's personality was very similar to Ikari Shinji's, differing mainly in Shiro's ability to hide his emotions. Here's the original ending for chapter 1:

[Start]

Slash! "Shriek!" The Archangel's tentacle became a fountain of blood. Unit 04 had transformed its AT field, a magnification of Shiro's Light Hawk Wing, into a sword. The sword circled and silenced the Archangel. Unit 04's feet touched the ground; then Shiro stepped backwards.

"Shiro?" Ryoko stood beside Unit 04, shielding it with her own Light Hawk Wings.

Splash! The Archangel's body split apart, spilling blood onto Ryoko and Unit 04's feet.

"I'm fine. He's not," deadpanned Shiro. Then the Eva kneeled down.

Ryoko entered Unit 04's cockpit. Shiro was shivering, freeing all of the fear that he tried to control during the battle. Part of Ryoko, the warrior instincts that Kagato developed, was repulsed at Shiro's behavior; Kagato would never express his fear, his vulnerabilities, and he'd punish Ryoko if she did. Another part of Ryoko, her newfound maternal instincts, wanted to comfort Shiro.

"Don't be afraid." Ryoko embraced Shiro. "I'll protect you."

[End]

Here's the original ending for chapter 2:

[Start]

Explosions threw dirt up in front of Ryoko, momentarily shielding Sludge from her vision. Ryoko instinctively turned to the source of the missiles. As Astrotrain shut his cargo bay doors, she could see Grimlock's optics flare as he and the other warriors lowered their missile launchers. Ryoko raised one arm towards the shuttle, then lowered it; Astrotrain had climbed out of range. She turned to Sludge; at this range, her energy bolts wouldn't penetrate its AT field. "Damn! They got away."

"They'll be back." Shiro shivered; his body was releasing the stress that had sustained it through the battle, and he was no longer able to suppress his fear. He didn't feel Unit 04's frame touch the ground as Ryoko gently laid the Eva on its back.

"Shiro?" Ryoko's sympathy was washed away by jealousy, when she saw how closely Asuka embraced the boy. "Let him...!"

Asuka calmly turned to the face that had emerged from the entry plug hatch; she wasn't frightened by Ryoko's ghostly appearance. "Hush." She turned to Shiro. "He needs rest."

Ryoko now saw how shaken Shiro was. She moved beside Shiro, then held his hand. "Remember, he's mine."

Asuka sadly smiled; Ryoko was acting the same way Asuka had when she was in love. "No, he's his own man." The smile endured Ryoko's angry glare. "We'll worry about this later."

'Shit, she's right.' Ryoko's anger slowly dissipated as she turned to Shiro. 'I'll make you mine.' She held his arm against her breasts, like meat in a wolf's jaws.

[End]

I felt the similarities were too great, and changed the endings to make Shiro more macho. I also changed the name of Shiro's father from "Jitetsu" to the more conventional "Tetsuji."

I originally planned to write ten chapters. In the original outline, Starscream found and reactivated an intact Skyfire; both Transformers were to fight against Evangelion Unit 04, and die in each other's arms. Also, Shiro didn't transform into Zeruel before he assassinated the Japanese PM, but Russhon covered up Shiro's crimes, keeping the pilot useful as a weapon against the Angels. Later, Shiro is seriously wounded in battle; during a near-death experience, he talks to Asuka's spirit and finds forgiveness.

Benjamin D. Hutchins and Larry Mann's 'Neon Exodus Evangelion', infamous for the self-insert character DJ Croft, had great influence upon my story. In fact, 'Death' beat 'Neon Exodus Evangelion' as "the single worst Self-Insertion Fanfiction," one of my reviewers ever read. In my defense, 'Death' realistically portrays the consequences of employing a 14-year-olds as combat pilots, i.e., severe mental health problems. (Nothing justifies the deployment of child soldiers.)