Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Professor Muraki and the Chacha Stones ❯ Stick and Balls ( Chapter 1 )

Professor Muraki And The ChaCha Stones

By Tama-chan

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the anime (Yami no Matsuei, Magical Project S, Magic Users Club), Harry Potter, and Angel.

One day in Hogwarts Professor Snape died so everyone had to replace the Defense of the Dark Arts teacher, again. So Dumbledore and Magonigal search the land for a teacher with good qualifications. They must be totally wicked, insane, and fruity. So they searched and searched and they found the one and only man with those qualifications.......Doctor Muraki! So he became the new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher (what else would you expect!).

On his first day he sees Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the whole gang. Then Malfoy comes up to Muraki and says, "Who are you? Our new teacher?"

"How impertinent! I should teach you a lesson in front of everyone!" says Muraki.

"Maybe after class baby!" replied Malfoy.

And of course all of the girls think he's totally hot and all of the guys are scared to death of getting after school lessons. Muraki then begins to teach the lesson. He teaches them how to find their special spots and how to pull a magical baton out of their butts while spinning in the air. So the class ends and Malfoy stays after for his extra special lesson.

Later that night, Harry and Ron see Muraki sneaking around and he's looking in every room. They decide to follow him and they listen to his mumbling and they hear him saying, "I must find the ChaCha stones! Damn, where could they be!" And then Muraki storms off. Harry and Ron now realized that he's up to know good.

The next day, Ron and Harry have Hermione go to Muraki to try to get some info. Hermione goes to meet Muraki and starts a conversation with him. "So Muraki, do you want to teach me an after school lesson? I think I'd be very good!"

Then Muraki replies, "I'm sorry but I don't teach girls lessons so go away you impertinent bitch."

So she goes away all huffy and puffy because she really wanted a lesson. So goes and tells Harry that they didn't have any proof still. During the end of class Muraki announced that he was starting a new after school group. Its name would be Muraki's Stick And Balls. The group would search for unknown treasure. So of course Ron and Harry knew this was their only chance to find out Muraki's plan. They decided to join the group as well as Malfoy. But Hermione couldn't (Muraki don't want NO girls!)

So in the first joining of Muraki's Stick And Balls Muraki assigned their positions. Malfoy was Muraki's stick, his main player. And Ron and Harry were Muraki's balls, the two nuts that would hang in the back but were still very important.

So they started searching and Muraki told them he was looking for to big stones with magical powers. They started to look and were stopped when a figure jumped out at them and Harry and Ron screamed like girls.

"So Muraki, looking for these?" said Tsuzuki while holding the stones.

"Yes! You found my ChaCha stones."

Harry asked what the hell was going on. Muraki explained that, "The ChaCha stones are my balls that were stolen by Tsuzuki. He stole them in hope that I wouldn't teach lessons anymore. The stones give me power to be irresistibly cute and crazy. But I have them now again."

Muraki knocks down Tsuzuki and fondles him until he's so aroused and excited that he turns into the Magical Puppy Boy Tsuzuki. Muraki takes back his ChaCha stones. "Now I can transform back into the Magical Girl Pretty Machacha, my alter ego. Muhahahahahaha!" Tsuzuki tries to madly hump his leg so he'll drop the stones. Muraki replies, "Oh how cute!" He then pets his head and body till he falls into a deep puppy slumber.

Muraki transforms into the Magical Girl Pretty Machacha. Instead of wearing his usual white trench coat and outfit he was now dressed in a magical girl outfit. It had ruffles on the leotard and pink and black stripes going up and down the sides of the legs. He had an open white ruffled shirt and pink ribbons keeping the shirt tied. On his head, he had an exquisite diamond tiara with two big red stones on the top. He also had two flowing platinum blonde pigtails crowned by two rainbow colored balls.

He starts giving lessons left and right. Hermoine came in hope of getting a lesson but Machacha pushes her into the wall and says she can't have one. Because Machacha don't want no girls bakas!

No one could stop him. Even the owls showed up and tried in vain. One jumped on the front of his face and the other on the back of his head. They humped his face and came in his eyes. But Machacha then called upon his Pretty Pigeon Minion. They devoured the damn annoying owls in penance for their impertinence.

Then Harry gets his inner power and also transforms into his magical girl self...the Magical Girl Funky Jeffy. He turns into a huge stuffed bear and start dancing all crazy like while saying, "Believe in yourself!"

Ron screams, "What the hell are you doing? Your not helping matters!" Because of his impertinence, Machacha bends him over and teaches him a rough lesson.

Malfoy then jumps out of nowhere and screams, "Potter! I'll stick your balls in my mouth and make you cum my pathetic nancy boy!" Malfoy proceeds to hump Funky Jeffy. Then Malfoy takes out his balls and smacks him in the face. Then Funky Jeffy spins around and pulls the magical baton out of his ass and smacks him in the face. Malfoy falls and blood gushes out everywhere.

Funky Jeffy says, "You taught me this and I'll use this against you Machacha."

So Funky Jeffy uses his Deadly Chicken Bone Funky Wink and he slaps Muraki and he un transforms. The stones fall to the floor and Funky Jeffy quickly snatches them up. He decided to consume them.

Muraki screams in agony, "Oh my big stones! My big magical stones!"

They throw him in jail for stick and balls. But unfortunately Harry can never un transform and he stays as Funky Jeffy because he ate Muraki's ChaCha stones! And he stays in Hogwarts and he can still be seen dancing in the halls singing, "Believe in yourself!"