Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ All That I Am ❯ Seventh Refrain ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Evangelion Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Standard Disclaimer.

Refer to the First Refrain

Author's Pre-Rant -

Just because the end of the contest is here (insert author's flimsy plot device.) doesn't mean the end of A.T.I.A. I've already drafted the outline up to and including the Seventeenth Angel So unless the Fanfic Yakuza (I recall TR saying they were dead.) put a hit out on me, Fanfiction.net ban me (There's always Mediaminer) or I simply get hit by a truck jogging to and from work (Nearly happened the other day - twice), you'll have to put up with me for a while yet. Gomen.

All That I Am

Seventh Refrain - Waiting For You

Tokyo-3 MunicipalHigh School

"Man, they're holding the finals tonight." Kensuke lifted the lid on his bento and not for the first time, wondered what had possessed him to even attempt preparing his own food. <What the hell is that? I don't remember making something like that?> Staring at the ghastly creation he could see a correlation between it and some of the scenes from the movie he had watched the night before. "And Shinji's got a front row seat. Lucky bastard." He grumbled, more to himself than the boy beside him.

<Not again! Give it a rest Ken.> Touji placed his own lunch, resembling an array of items straight out of snack vending machines, on the desk. "Yeah. You wanna come round my place to watch it?" He sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose in distaste. Glancing at the source of the peculiar odour, Touji blanched at the contents of his friend's lunch box. "Here 'suke, that looks toxic." He handed his friend a collection of store bought snacks from his own lunch.

Tearing into the junk food, he offered his gratitude. "Thanks Touji." Sealing the lid, he placed his own offensive lunch out of harms way, vowing never to attempt the preparation of food again. <Maybe it's time to get a girlfriend? One who can cook. Definitely with big bo->

"Hey stooges!" The pleasant atmosphere that lunch time usually bestowed on the two boys was ruined. Images of dark, swirling clouds and jagged bolts of blood red lightning filled the sky.

Touji hoped beyond hope that he was mistaken about the origin of the voice. "Crap!" He was sorely mistaken. "What do you want Devil Girl?" He exclaimed loudly.

Looking for all the world as if she would rather be anywhere else, Asuka flicked a slim envelope at two of her least favourite people. "Catch!"

Grasping the paper out of the air, Kensuke stared in disbelief at its contents. "What the……Tickets?! But Why? How?" He asked, confused by this odd turn of events.

Shrugging her shoulders, the young German girl smirked at the two boys as they capered about. "Baka said to pass them on. As sad as it is, he actually thinks you perverts are the only friends he has."

Halting their impromptu little celebration, Touji levelled a finger at his most hated foe. "Wait a minute. This means you're gonna be there?"

Planting her hands on her hips, Asuka rolled her eyes. "Don't burn out your only brain cell, Monkey Boy. Of course I'll be there." She gestured to the quiet girl behind her. "Hikari's coming as well."

Touji looked past Asuka to the young brunette. "Class Rep? You goin' too?" The conversation with Kensuke about the possibility that she might like him causing him to gape unknowingly.

Having Touji stare unabashedly filled the girl with a mixture of jubilation and trepidation. "Yes. Ikari-kun was kind enough to invite us all." She replied, her eyes flitting to Touji's then back at the ground.

Unable to take any more, Asuka grabbed Hikari's wrist and dragged her away. "Come on Hikari, if we hang around these two perverts, people will start spreading rumours."

"Uhmm…. Rep." Touji's hesitant words causing Hikari to turn back towards him.

Asuka relented and allowed her friend a moment to talk to the jock. "Yes Suzuhara-kun?"

Massaging the back of his neck Touji looked off to the side. "I'll uhhh see you there, I guess?"

Smiling at the half promise, Hikari clasped her hands together and bowed slightly. "Yes, I'll see you there."

As the two girls walked away, Asuka took the time to examine the joyous countenance of her friend. "You're hopeless Hikari." Seeing how her words had little effect, Asuka saw it as her responsibility to help Hikari see the truth. "You don't have to scrape the bottom of the gene pool to find a boyfriend you know. You're intelligent and pretty. There're plenty of decent guys out there better than jock-itch." She smirked as she spoke. "Although, at least your taste isn't as bad as Wonder Girl."

Hikari was unable to hide her surprise. "Ayanami has a boyfriend?" She had heard that a few of the more adventurous boys had approached the blue haired girl to ask her out only to be sent away bewildered and confused.

Asuka laughed. "You should have seen how upset she was when Baka Shinji started ignoring her." Watching an offended, sulking Shinji had been something of an eye opener. Having witnessed the boy continually back away from conflict, it surprised her that he would take offence to anything that the First Children would say or do. Watching the placid girl react also seemed remarkably out of place. "It was like she actually had emotions." For all intents and purposes, Asuka had categorised the quiet First Children as nothing more than the Commanders Doll. Only doing as he ordered her to. Unable and unwilling to think for herself.

Hikari frowned. "Ikari-kun is her boyfriend?" She glanced at Asuka. "And you don't mind?" She wondered how Asuka could be so calm. Her woman's intuition kept telling her that Asuka felt more than just hatred towards Shinji Ikari.

Shaking her head at Hikari's mistaken inference, Asuka looked out over the school. "Why should I? I told you before Hikari, I don't have any interest in little boys like Shinji." Her muscles tensed as she said his name. "Kaji-san's the only one for me."

<Then why don't you look happy about it?> Hikari wondered.

***

Office of the Supreme Commander of NERV

Sipping his tea, Gendou turned the page of the latest 'Pilot Observation' report. Casually pushing his tinted glasses back into position, he pondered the contents. "Fuyutsuki, Arrange for Rei to be brought to Dogma."

"The Dummy Plug?"Standing behind the commander, Kouzou stepped forward.

Gendou closed the report and handed it to his subordinate. "Yes. It is time to verify whether she has stabilised." He stated.

Taking the report, Kouzou hastily perused the contents, his eyebrow lifting slightly. "And if she hasn't?" He asked, genuinely interested in the possible response.

Activating his computer terminal, Gendou opened a highly classified file. "There is always alternate options available to us."

Kouzou glanced at the display screen, instantly recognising the information. "I still cannot condone that particular course of action, Ikari." He frowned in disgust.

Gendou closed the file. "Even though you yourself determined the possibility and helped developed the primary components?"

"It was pure conjecture." He countered. "It was based on his suffering injuries during battle that rendered the body useless. It was only meant as a backup system."

"Accidents do happen." Gendou's eye's peered out from behind his glasses. The remorseless gaze hinted that any such accidents would be extremely well orchestrated.

***

Tokyo-3 International Hotel

Hikari brushed her hands nervously over her skirt for the umpteenth time, straightening the material more from habit than any real need to do so. "Asuka, what's wrong? You've been on edge all night?" She felt slightly self-conscious at a party with so many well-to-do and people.

Tapping her foot impatiently, Asuka's eyes once again wandered over to the source of her irritation. "I get all dressed up and Kaji-san hasn't even noticed me." She growled.

"I think he's too busy seeking forgiveness from Katsuragi-san." Hikari looked over to the small group of adults. The man that Asuka frequently referred to as her one and only true love was busy trying to salvage his relationship with a certain lavender haired beauty. Not for the first time Hikari felt completely outclassed. On their best day, not even the winner of Miss Japan 2015 could hold a candle to the woman. Hikari lamented, wondering just how was she supposed to catch the eye of a certain Fourteen year old athlete when someone like Misato Katsuragi was around.

Watching Misato's poor treatment of the man only increased Asuka's unease. "I don't know why Misato's getting all upset about it. It's not Kaji-sans fault. He was tricked by that whore Seijiro." Her voice grated the woman's name. "I'm glad she didn't win." Asuka smiled at how the woman had reacted after the camera's were no longer focused on her.

Nodding absently in agreement with Asuka's tirade, Hikari's own eyes wandered over the room, finally coming to rest on something that caught her interest. "Did you want something to drink Asuka? I was thinking of getting something." That something being one Touji Suzuhara, who happened to be standing by the refreshments table. <Chance! He's alone!>

"Nah. Go ahead. I'll catch up with you later." Sparing one last glare at Ryouji Kaji, hoping beyond hope he would see the errors of his ways and come running to her with his arms wide open, Asuka began walking away. "I want to see where Baka Shinji and Wonder Girl have gotten to."

Hikari smiled. "Worried?" She teased.

"Hikari, please."Asuka stalked away to locate her prey, leaving Hikari to implement the first stage of her own plan.

Standing behind the Touji Suzuhara, Hikari stifled a giggle listening to him complain to himself about how the collar of his shirt was too tight. "Good evening Suzuhara-kun."

Jumping at the unexpected greeting, Touji turned and offered the girl a nervous smile. "Oh, hey Class Rep."

Hikari frowned. She had hoped he would be slightly less formal. "We're not at school Suzuhara-kun, you don't have to use my title."

"Oh, if you're sure Clas….Horaki." Touji replied, stammering her name.

Hikari sighed. It was better than nothing, but she hoped it wouldn't take too much gentle persuasion to finally be able to refer to each other by their first names. The redhead hardly ever used anyone's family name when she spoke to them. If she didn't use your given name, she usually used a derogatory nickname. She made a show of looking around him. "Where's your partner in crime?" Referring to the other half of the inseparable 'Idiot Duo'.

As nervous as he felt, talking casually to a girl he sort of kind of liked, Touji suddenly felt the cold hand of fear grab his entrails. Coughing uncomfortably, he looked off to the side. "Uhh, Ken said he had some stuff to do. He'll be back soon." He hoped Hikari would believe the outright lie. "What about the Demon? Where'd she get to?"

***

As they spoke, the young boy in question was sitting in a chair. The two gentlemen opposite him were clearly unhappy. Then again, Kensuke was far from pleased to be here as well.

The larger man loosened his tie and ran his fingers through his hair. "So can you tell us just why you happened to be crawling through the ventilation shaft over the female toilets?" He picked up a damaged digital video camera from the desk. "With a video camera no less?"

Kensuke felt a cold sweat trickle down his back as the smaller man smiled. It was the sort of smile that said, we've got you, you know it and we know you know. "Well you see, it's a long story and I'd hate to bore you with the insignificant details……"

The smaller man finally spoke. "Oh, I like long and uninteresting stories." He leaned forward, his grin falling away to reveal a menacing scowl. "They're my favourites. And the outraged women we have waiting outside would also like to hear it. But somehow I don't think they'll give you the same opportunity to explain yourself before they tore you apart. That one woman was terribly upset when you fell through the ceiling into the cubicle she was occupying at the time."

"I'm not sure where to begin." Kensuke shrugged.

"How about we watch some of your movie, maybe that'll jog your memory."

***

Ritsuko wrinkled her nose slightly at the overly cloying smell of her drink.. "Just hurry up and forgive him Misato. I didn't come here to listen to him whine all night." For the last half hour her nerves had slowly been ground down by the constant lame excuses that Ryouji offered.

"It's not like we're going out any more Ritsu-chan." Closing her eyes, Misato took a deep breath before continuing. "It's not anything to me if Kaji decides to run around with other women." While she managed to maintain an outward appearance of calm indifference, her mind was shrieking bloody, murderous revenge at the man's betrayal.

Ryouji cringed slightly. He knew Misato well enough to spot the subtle signs. If his hunch was right, she was extremely upset. "Katsuragi. I tried to explain. She was only using me to get closer to Shinji-kun." His eyes widened in surprise as her composure broke and she glared furiously at him. <Oh shit, she's going to shoot me.>

Misato poked the unshaven rogue in the chest hard enough to elicit a small wince from the recipient. "Don't you dare try and drag my Shinji-kun into this." Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she whispered. "I told you to keep away from him."

Rapidly losing ground, he opted to enlist the aid of their mutual friend. "Akagi, can you try and tal-"

Ritsuko cut him off. "Don't even think about it Kaji-kun." The last thing she wanted was an over-protective Misato lashing out at her as well. Besides, she enjoyed watching the fireworks between the couple.

***

"You are pensive Shinji-kun." Rei sipped her sweet tasting beverage, unsure if she enjoyed it or not. She had spent most of the evening at his side, watching his mood slowly deteriorate. Not knowing how to lighten his mood, she simply stated her concerns directly. "Is there something wrong?"

"It's just that it's all over." He replied morosely. <Back to school. Back to NERV.>

"This upsets you?" She asked.

"Not really. But….." his thoughts drifted back to the previous night. Finding Rei waiting in his room. Her tears at his presumed rejection. Her tears of joy at his acceptance. Words were largely unnecessary. They had spent most of the night just happy to be with one another.

"Pilot Ayanami."A low voice cut in.

"Yes?" Rei turned to find a dark suited man standing behind her. His dark glasses and general bearing indicating his occupation as an agent for NERV Intelligence.

"Commander Ikari has ordered you to report to NERV Headquarters immediately. Transportation is waiting outside." The tall man began walking away.

Shinji grabbed Rei's hand. "But the dance?" While he had admitted to not being the most graceful of dancers, he had promised to teach her what little he did know. It was something he was looking forward to.

Understanding the reason for his crestfallen look, Rei gently squeezed his hand. "Shinji-kun. It is part of our duties." Her sense of responsibility and obligation compelled her to obey.

"I guess." Unable to disguise his disappointment, Shinji returned the soft touch and offered a small smile. "Bye."

His eyes followed her until she disappeared from sight. Staring at the floor, he wondered what was worth staying for. As a result of the contest, eight of the nine young women now despised him. People hating him was something he had grown accustomed to. After all, he didn't particularly like himself. A voice at his side, rescued him from the darkness of his thoughts.

"Hey Shinji, where's Wonder Girl going?" Asuka said as she joined him.

Surprised to find Asuka standing next to him, he quickly averted his eyes. The last thing he needed was Asuka accusing him of leering at her. "She got called in by the Commander."

"Why would he want to see her this late at night? You don't suppose…." Her voice trailed off, leaving the words unsaid.

"That's sick Asuka." Disgusted with her vile innuendo, he excused himself, having to put as much distance between himself and her as possible.

"What's his problem? I was only joking?" Asuka watched the young boy depart, wondering why it felt so hollow allowing him to just walk away.

***

Terminal Dogma

After dismissing the Section 2 agent, Gendou ushered his young charge into the room where Doctor Akagi waited somewhat impatiently. "Rei. We have managed to isolate the anomalies in the Dummy Plug." Gesturing towards the tube, he informed her of what was required. "You will verify this. Prepare to synchronise with the System."

"How long will be required sir?" Rei's simple question left the Commander momentarily stunned. It was the first time she had ever questioned his orders.

He expected her to obey without question. Blindly obey his orders. Willingly defer to his decisions. Just as she always had. "That is irrelevant." His hand balled into a fist. "It will take as long as is necessary."

Sensing that she was treading on dangerous ground, Rei began disrobing. "Understood Commander."

"Those clothes?"Gendou watched the girl carefully fold the clothes and place them on a table.

She gazed at the extravagant material, fondly recalling the look on Shinji's face when she had first worn them. "Yes Sir?"

"Discard them. Your regular school uniform is more than adequate." It disturbed him that she appeared to care for something as commonplace as clothing. Ordinarily she would leave them where they fell, retrieving them when she was finished. <Perhaps Fuyutsuki was correct. Rei is acting outside her defined parameters. Is she no longer useful?>

"I……." Realising her error, Rei was unable to hide her shame. <The Commander is disappointed with my performance. Have I failed him?>

"We are waiting." Gendou turned his back on the naked young girl, ignoring her confusion and embarrassment.

"Understood Commander."Upset with her perceived failure, she hastily climbed into the system, waiting patiently for Doctor Akagi to commence the uplink.

Floating in the warm liquid, Rei closed her eyes and concentrated on synchronising with the Dummy System. Her sense of self was slowly eroded as the computer began the painstaking process of translating her thoughts and memories into digital information. At a subconscious level, she could feel her duplicates on the fringes of her awareness. They readily assimilated the information passed to them.

Throughout the transfer, she constantly reminded herself, ensuring she did not lose herself within the sea of multiple selves.

"Well Doctor?" Without taking his eyes from Rei's floating form, Gendou waited for Ritsuko's progress update.

Watching the collected data, the blonde scientist quickly ran a series of cross comparisons with older data. "The fluctuations have subsided significantly. With a little more work the system will be-" She stopped as Gendou strode past her.

"Very well Doctor. I leave it in your hands. Do not disappoint me." The small sense of relief Gendou felt quickly fell back into the dark chasm of his mind.

"Of course Commander."Ritsuko watched the man she loved pick up the extravagant dress from the bench.

He sneered before tossing the garments onto the floor. "And dispose of these."

After Ritsuko finally released her from the tube, Rei paused to look at her new clothes, lying crumpled on the floor.

"There's a spare school uniform in the change room Rei." Ritsuko watched the young girl's reactions carefully. "Commander Ikari has asked me to take care of those."

Staring at the clothing for a few seconds more, Rei simply nodded her head and left to take her shower.

Ritsuko watched her leave. For the first time ever she felt a grudging sympathy for the quiet blue haired Pilot. <Misato mentioned Shinji and Rei have become close recently.> Picking up the outfit, she marvelled at the texture of the soft, silky material. Gathering the remaining garments, Ritsuko walked out the door wondering what to do with them.

Exiting the shower, Rei stared down at the clothes that Commander Ikari had told her to discard.. <Why are they here? The only other person was Doctor Akagi. And she was ordered to dispose of them.> Unsure of what to do, Rei stroked the fabric of the evening gown. <Commander Ikari has stated it is unnecessary. But……. Shinji-kun…. said I was …> A single tear slid down her cheek. <He said I was beautiful.>

***

Streets of Tokyo-3

"Shinji-kun?Why are you here this late?" Rei had left NERV and decided to return to her apartment to sleep. Most sessions with the Dummy System left her exhausted, but finding the young Pilot of Unit 01 sitting on a railing under a streetlight refreshed her slightly.

Shinji watched the night sky a few moments longer before turning to smile at her. "I was admiring the stars on my way home."

"Major Katsuragi's apartment is located approximately ten kilometres from our current position." Rei moved to stand beside him. Her eyes felt lost as she gazed up into his.

His smile broadened. "I was taking a shortcut."

She felt her blood warm her cheeks, something that was happening more and more often in his presence. "You are lying Shinji-kun. Why are you here?"

"I was waiting for you." He jumped off the fence to stand in front of her. "Misato-san said a gentleman always escorts his date home after a night out." His face grew hot as he mentioned the word date.

Her heart skipped a beat. "It is unexpected." His carefree smile, something of a rarity, caused her blush to deepen with excitement and embarrassment. "But it is agreeable."

Pushing his hands into his pockets, he slowly began walking beside the girl. "I didn't feel like sticking around at the party. It's not something I really enjoy. Crowds tend to make me nervous."

Rei agreed. Large gatherings always made her feel uncomfortable. Even amongst those she knew and occasionally associated with, she had always felt alone and isolated. "The festivities would most likely be finished. We can return to our normal duties."

"Yeah.Now that it's all over, Misato-san said I could come back home." He chuckled. "She said that Pen-Pen threatened her with a knife because she offered to make his dinner." He could easily imagine the flightless bird resorting to drastic measures. While he was always polite and ate everything Misato cooked, on the rare occasions she did, he would much rather eat food that wouldn't try and claw it's way through the walls of his stomach.

"So we will no longer be staying together." Rei stopped walking and watched her shadow shift as the streetlight above her flickered. The thought of parting upset her. Angered her.

Noticing that Rei was no longer beside him, Shinji turned around to find her standing looking at the ground. "Rei-chan?"

Stirred from her introspective thoughts, Rei looked up to find a concerned Shinji looking at her. The worry in his eyes pierced her soul. "What is the matter Shinji-kun?" <He worries? About me?>

Wanting to voice the same question, he knew she would be less than forthcoming. <Just like me.> Instead he opted to change the direction of the conversation. "We never did get to dance."

"I have never danced before." She replied.

"Would you like to?" Shinji bowed formally and held his hand out for Rei.

Taking his hand, Rei shivered slightly at the now familiar contact. "There is no music Shinji-kun." The entirety of her focus and attention was riveted to her hand in his. The connection was beyond mere physical sensation. Every fibre of her being soared at the subtle texture of his fingers as they shifted across and around her hand.

"Yes there is Rei-chan. Listen." Slowly at first, Shinji hesitantly began humming a soft melody his mother had sung to him when he was an infant. He couldn't remember the words, just the tune.

Stepping forward, Shinji gingerly placed his other arm around her slender waist and pulled her in even closer, hoping the soft glow of the street lights masked some of his embarrassment.

Draping her remaining arm onto his shoulder, Rei looked up. Her crimson eyes found his midnight blue eyes gazing at her. Had she been capable of conscious thought, she might have noticed her own reflection there, how his vision was entirely consumed by her presence.

The world faded away, leaving just the two of them embracing one another.

Taking the lead, something he was unaccustomed to, Shinji slowly lead his partner through a simple series of steps. All the while not taking his eyes from her face, her eyes never leaving his.

Rei allowed herself to glide along, her natural grace easily following the simple rhythm. Closing her eyes her other senses bloomed to life, overloading from his intoxicating aroma and his delicate touch.

Leaning her head against his chest, she listened to his heart beating rapidly. "Thank you Shinji-kun." She was quite certain her own heart was pumping at a similar furious rate. While the dance was far from rigorous or intensive, she found herself breathing hard, her chest burning hot and constricting.

He stopped humming the tune, to look down at her. "What for?"

Content to stay where she was, Rei kept her eyes closed, enjoying the moment for all that it was. "For waiting for me." The warmth spread throughout her body. "For dancing with me." The sense of belonging intensified. "For being with me." For the first time in her life, Rei wanted nothing more than to remain where she was. <For being mine.>

"I like spending time with you Rei-chan." He wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. "I only wish we could be together more often, not just at school or NERV." He whispered, knowing that like most of the good things in his life, this brief moment of happiness had come to an end.

Rei returned the embrace. "Then we will be." <Contentment. Fulfilment. These are just two of the many things he gives me unknowingly.>

Shinji pulled back slightly to stare in astonishment at her declaration. "But -"

Frowning at his withdrawal, Rei once again pressed herself against him, unwillingly to relinquish him just yet. "You are surprised?"

"Well, to be honest." He wondered why she wanted to stay near him. "Yeah, kind of."

"Why would you be apprehensive? I enjoy your company as well." For Rei this was simply a statement of fact.

"I just accepted the fact that I was worthless." He whispered. "Simply living. No expectations. No hopes. Nothing. It made life easier." Years spent alone had allowed him ample opportunity to hone this one particular skill.

"Shinji-kun. You are not worthless." Her hands cupped his face as she leaned up, brushing her lips against his.

***

End Seventh Refrain

Tbc

Authors Post-Rant -

Yes I did consider fleshing out the final of the beauty pageant but it really served no purpose to the story overall (I think I'll do it as a side story. Maybe a little more adult in theme. Lime not Lemon. Comments?). Let's face it, if you're still reading the story (you really need help, but that's okay, that's a given.), it's for the whole Shinji/Rei thing.

Why else would you be here? (Considering the number of people that decry FFN in various forums, it's amazing anyone turns up at all.)

As always, post your reviews here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other comments, thoughts etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Ja Ne