Warning: Contains spoilers for those who haven't seen End of EVA. Also, make sure you've read the revised version of Chapter 10 before you start this. Some non-sexual but nevertheless explicit content in this chapter, and some extreme violence.

Neon Genesis Evangelion:

Apocryphal Rhythms

Aria

by ZERØ's Wings

Instrumentality will begin…

Senseless

Indiscriminate

Bloodletting

Destruction

Council

Red Earth

Judgment

A Living God

Separation Anxiety

Broken

Mother

Mother

…Man is beautiful again

*****

Asuka had been regressing over the past weeks, slowly migrating back to the womb. In her EVA, curled up in a fetal position in the river bed, she had felt the after taste of mental rape; another wave of horrible images assaulted her, all containing her mother. In the presence of her mother, Asuka had felt fear for the first and only time in her life. But now, she sought desperately to swim above the vestiges of newly formed life, and to find the light outside her safe, warm envelope.

Depth charges sank into the river

Asuka's fears were long, grasping hands and chains with wicked hooks that dug into her and try to pull her back to the womb. At the center of these fears was her mother's face, serene, beautiful, and attached to a broken neck. Yet as Asuka reached for the light above, it became painfully apparent that this light was the same image, her mother's face, serene, beautiful, and attached to a broken neck. She was caught between two mirrors.

I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. You're still alive… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. You mustn't die yet. You must live… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I won't let you die. I will protect you… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. You're still alive. I won't let you die. You mustn't die… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Please die with me! Don't kill her… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. You must live…

I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!!

The image that surrounded the face suddenly shifted, and Asuka found herself in her mother's warm embrace. Her mother had always loved her. At the center of all Asuka's fears was the fear of being love. Pain was transmuted into love. Confusion into understanding. Ugliness into beauty. Mamma! Asuka cried; the bitterness expelled from her in joyous tears.

Asuka soared out of the riverbed, tossing the gargantuan hull of a battleship off her back. Its tremendous shadow fell over an array of trucks and tanks launching an interminable spray of firepower in her direction. The ship cut apart concrete barriers and fell upon the mass of weapons, crushing them as it exploded in a massive plume of orange flames and black smoke.

Mamma…Mamma! Now I understand! Asuka had left her troubles behind, dropping the mass of horrible, paralyzing fears and doubts that had smothered her. She felt lighter than air, and so she sailed across the sky, trailed by thousands of missiles and the white-hot comet tails of rapid artillery fire. The meaning of the AT field! You were always protecting me! A huge smile had swept across the span of Asuka's soft, beautiful face. Always watching over me! She crashed down in the middle of the immense firefight, and laughed with glee as warheads smashed into her AT field, rent and split apart, and then burst into spectacular conflagrations.

"Mamma! We were always together!"

*****

Outside, swirling fires and ragged waves of turf pirouetted in perdition's waltz.

Inside, Shinji wiped Misato's blood from his mouth, and he understood. He would never see her again. He looked down from the smeared blood on his fingertips, to the gaping hole in his chest. It hurt so much…where cold hands had ripped her from him. He had felt the inexorable descent, the spiraling decay of NERV, but now Shinji, personally, felt the forces of change. He would have to change. He would have to bend, warp, and twist his mind so that he could adapt to a new era. He could only see pain and loneliness in the coming years of his life.

As Shinji slowly crumpled in that elevator, an image wafted back into his senses like a sensuous aroma insinuating its way into a room through an open window. It was Rei's spare, beautiful face. Even with Misato gone and NERV being gutted by a violent horde of invaders, Shinji still had something to fight for.

Misato's final kiss had been accompanied by words of gentle encouragement. "Do your best," were her final words to him. She said that as if the outcome didn't matter, he just had to try his hardest. He took those words, and his love for Rei, and picked himself up just before he reached the elevator floor. He stood tall, determined and proud, at last realizing all the people who had been behind him all along, giving their lives and souls to make sure he could reach this point.

*****

Asuka's bright, red Evangelion stood defiantly in the center of a circle formed by nine white monsters. Their leering, pallid faces, eyeless, protruding skulls, and absurdly wide, luscious, grinning lips completed their bizarre, hellish appearance. The production model Evas stood motionless, waiting for their prey to make the first move.

"Nine units in three and a half minutes. That's twenty seconds each," Asuka hunched down, a malevolent grin spreading across her face. She was a warrior, she understood that as her purpose, and she relished it.

In an abrupt move, Asuka lunged forward, her EVA charging over a layer of treetops, and leapt up above the first white Evangelion. It recoiled, panicked, but was unable to act before Unit 02 landed both its feet on the Eva's shoulders. Gripping the edges of its jaws, she tore the unit's head wide open, causing a rush of steaming, hot blood to splash out onto her. Unit 02 dropped forward off the mangled head of the enemy Eva; landing with a thunderous crash that fragmented the rough turf beneath her.

Suddenly, Asuka felt a weight bear down on her. The Evangelion she maimed had stumbled and fallen onto her back; its ruined face still arcing thick streams of cadmium. She grinned, relieved, then picked the Eva up and effortlessly broke it in half over her head. Blood and entrails cascaded down onto unit 02, smearing her view screens with bodily fluids.

"Erste!" she yelled triumphantly, throwing the gore-soaked carcass of her back.

*****

"I loved you best of all," Gendo said in a fierce whisper."

"Liar!" Ritsuko spat. Before she could make another utterance, her body was picked up, her shoes blown off, blood pouring forth from an open wound in her chest. She floated back like a discarded piece of cloth, the glare in her eyes quickly fading. And then, with a delicate splash, she came down upon her final resting place, a shallow pool of LCL. She took her mother's hand in a warm, beautiful haze, and fled this life.

Gendo lowered his gun, shook his head sorrowfully. What a waste…he thought. Humanity is made to suffer before the end.

Rei shivered in the cold halls of Terminal Dogma. She was completely naked and covered with droplets of LCL. Hanging over her was the waxen, crucified giant known as Lillith. Its unformed face was covered with a purple mask marked by the emblem of SEELE. Gendo turned and stood before her, the palm of his right hand opening, presenting to her the embryonic form of Adam. She stared at what would become the hand of god and thought: This is not how I wish it to be.

"Take me to my Yui's side," Gendo said. Beneath his usually cold voice, Rei could hear his longing and desperation. He was pleading with her, terrified now of his own isolation. Fuyutsuki had already betrayed him, surrendering headquarters to the SDDF. Now, Ritsuko had been cast aside. Only Rei stood at his side now, as he had always wished it to be. Yet, the circumstances that had brought him to this moment were so horrible. He had reached his ultimate goal in a roundabout fashion, stumbling against the betrayals of his friends, and then stumbling again over their corpses.

"Your AT field is still intact, Rei. You may now discard it, your physical form is no longer necessary," Gendo instructed her tersely. She closed her eyes and concentrated, but it was difficult to reject her own form. One week ago, she had felt old, stretched beyond her limits. But now, since her violent sensory attack, she felt young, renewed. She felt like a teenage girl, not a disintegrating instrument of mankind's complementation. This is wrong, she thought. All wrong.

Gendo smiled greedily, resolved in his own happiness, in his own self-interest. He had reached his goal. His large, scarred hand moved forward, and roughly cupped Rei's exposed breast. She inhaled sharply, startled at this act. She remembered Shinji washing her, and his hand accidentally moving over the same breast, followed by a near-endless string of apologies. His touch had been warm, gentle, and cautious. Gendo's touch was the exact opposite. His hand felt so cold, and he touched her with a forcefulness that Shinji could never display. He took things by force; it was simply the way he operated.

Gendo looked at his hand, puzzled. The embryo should've reacted with her body, allowing him to pass right through her. And yet, her form remained, defiantly unchanged. He pressed harder against her breast, mashing her small, sensitive nipple. Rei gave a brief whimper in pain, and shivered again at his cold touch.

"I told you to remove your AT field!" Gendo yelled hoarsely, his mind buckling under the weight of his own fear and desperation. Rei's head sunk down as she gathered her strength, building up all the courage that her short, sheltered life had afforded her.

"I am not your doll," she said slowly, the insurrection building in her mind like a tidal wave slowly gathering strength. "I am not a puppet for you to control!" she screamed, her voice rising to octaves it had never before dared to dream of. Her AT field suddenly became visible, a massive wall of blue and orange fire. It pushed Gendo's offending hand back, away from her, melting it down to the wrist. Gendo howled madly in overwhelming pain.

Rei approached the frightened, feeble shadow of her cruel governor. Her crimson eyes held not a drop of sympathy. Rei had feared him, and something in her small, child-like mind had taken that fear and camouflaged it as a sort of belonging. She could not live without being in constant fear of his glare. Now, she was free of his chains, both mental and physical, and she knew that Instrumentality was a horrible mistake that she would never allow him to make. Besides, Lillith no longer provided her with a home. Lillith was crying out for her son, Kaoru. Rei could no longer complete the great, sorrowful being.

Rei's hand wavered; then formed a tight fist, and she set the empty husk of Lillith ablaze in azure flames. The huge being writhed upon its cross, giving a single, sorrowful moan as the fire devoured it from the inside out. Finally, its great head sunk forward, and the mask fell from it ashen face. There was a huge splash, followed by a metallic clang, and Lillith collapsed, consumed in the raging holocaust of soul fire.

"Sorry," Rei breathed soundlessly to her giant, desiccated mother. "It had to be done." Without another word, Rei focused her attention back onto Gendo, who was slowly getting to his feet with the aid of a metal railing. Behind and below him was an impossibly deep abyss; the dark, hollow womb of the geofront.

Gendo's stern face collapsed as he looked upon the charred remains of Lillith. His last chance to be with Yui was gone, evaporated into thin air. Shaking with fury, he drew the pistol from his belt again, holding it weakly in his left hand as he nursed the stub that was once his right. He was ready to end the incessant parade of treacheries and suffering. The gun shook in his trembling hand as he trained it upon Rei.

"This is not how it was supposed to happen," Gendo said hatefully, gritting his teeth. "Even you…Rei, my little girl." He turned away as he pulled the trigger, wincing as though he had just shot himself. Gendo shut his eyes tightly as he waited to hear the sound of her body hitting the floor.

Silence.

He shut his eyes even tighter, waves of sorrow crushing his spirit.

Silence.

He shut his eyes painfully tight, the beads of tiny, malformed tears coming to them.

Silence. Rei stood over him, unharmed, suspending the bullet he had fired only inches from her forehead. It would've struck her right between the eyes, a painless, instant death. Even in his greatest fury, he still shows me mercy, she thought in wonderment. This will be difficult. Shinji might never forgive me. I'm so sorry Shinji…please forgive me. With that, Rei's face hardened, and she prepared herself for condemning Gendo to death.

"You never understood the true meaning of the AT field," Rei said in a powerful, accusing tone. "It is not a barrier. It is not what separates our minds. It is the energy that we all emanate, because of the invisible bonds that we form with other people. You were afraid of those bonds, and so you sought to destroy them with Instrumentality. But I cannot let that happen."

Rei stripped the casing away from the bullet and caused it to vaporize in midair. White sparks twisted down around her face. Then, she took all of her fury, all of her fear, all of the emotions that had been trapped within her for so long, unable to find a release, and focused them into a single instant, a singular universe made up of all the atoms of her body, and all the universes contained with the cores of those atoms. She could not hope to wield this force, but she was able to propel it away from her, and it came down upon Gendo Ikari like a steamroller.

Gendo would've screamed, but his lungs were instantly crushed. Each of his pupils shot down to the size of the head of a pin and he let out a choked gurgle, blood rushing forth from his lips. The world around him had faded into a giant, black blur, illuminated only by Rei's pale, glowing face. She smiled, and her face broke apart into tiny strips of white light that dissolved into the void, leaving him forever.

Gendo was already dead when his viscera, which had been blown right out of his back by the force of Rei's AT field, sloshed against the metal railing. His thick, ropey intestines spilled over the rail and tugged his limp body back toward the edge. Gendo seemed to hang there on the edge of the abyss for an endless moment, and then he jerked back, and his ever-present glasses fell from his face and shattered. The sunken vestige of a man now slipped over the metal precipice, and sailed down into the darkest hell of nothingness. He was gone.

Rei smiled for a moment, her face stained with tears, and then she collapsed from sheer exhaustion. In that same instant, Unit-01 came crashing through the wall above her, Shinji screaming her name franticly above the ear-splitting cataract of rubble.

End - Aria