Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ CHANGING DARKNESS ❯ Allies and Friends ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

CHANIGIG DARKNESS INTO THE LIGHT

Book 1: Changing Darkness


Chapter 4: Allies and friends

<And another boring day at school. I wish they would replace that old geezer they use as Sensai.
Even a brain-dead corpse would do a better job>

With these thoughts, Shinji entered the classroom of the 2A.

<Rei is already here, just like everyday, Hikari too. But where are Touji and Kensuke? Are they
late again?>

He went to his desk and sat down.



8 minutes later, the bell rang, the class should begin, but there was still no Sensai in sight.
Which disturbed Hikari greatly.

Then, a black dressed figure entered the classroom. Hikari did her routine as always: Stand, bow, sit.
After this, she was surprised as anybody else in the class of 2A.

This wasn't the old Sensai they had known. This was a strange figure in black, with black sunglasses and
an expression which says: Obey or die.

Hikari asked: "Sensai, may I ask what happened to our regular sensei?"

The Mib looked at her and said :"He took the front of a train."

"I do not understand."

"He tried to enter a train when it was still in motion. So he hit the front of the train with
a loud splash. Is this explanation enough?"

The stunned look of the entire class gave a satisfying answer.

"Good. My name is Musashi Masahiko, and I'm your new Sensai. You can call me Sensai, Master or God,
I do not care. I give you your assignments, you will fulfill them. Then we won't have problems.
Otherwise, you will wish to be in the hottest part of hell, if you believe in such a place. Understood?"

"Yes, Sensai!" was the answer of the entire class.

"Who's the Inchou?"

"That's me, Horaki Hikari, Sensai." was her answer as she stood up.

"You will remove all the possessions of the old teacher after this day."

Hikari was surprised: "Even the timetables and notes?"

"Everything. I have a new timetable and education-plan on my laptop. And since I do not intend to
follow the plan of this old idiot, I have no use for his unimportant notes etc."

To say that Hikari was shocked would be an understatement. And she was not the only one.
Nearly the entire class was in a state of shock, the only exceptions were Ikari Shinji, with a stupid
smile on his face, and Ayanami Rei, whom was looking out the window.

"It....it is ....... it is not right to speak in such a manner over our dead Sensai."

"He WAS your Sensai. Now he is dead meat. This is a fact, accept it. Another fact is that he was an
old idiot who was only able to tell you stories over 2nd Impact. That the education isn't the best on this
school isn't new for me, but what he did was hilarious. This will now change."

And again: "Yes, Sensai!" was the answer of the entire class.

Hikari asked: "Sensai, don't you need the notes to know what we should learn?"

"I have everything I need an my laptop, in romanji. I cannot read that shit that you call your writing,
and because I have no intention to learn the ways of some drunken ants on paper, I'll stuck to romanji."

Hikari gasped: "You cannot read what we write, but you want to be our teacher? Impossible!"

"No, just a matter of effort and effect. I do not plan to learn 2000 signs, were less than 30 would be sufficient.
And since I will use a translator program, I expect no difficulties. If you want, you can ask the director
for my removal, but since I'm one of the few who isn't such a coward who's planning to leave this city as soon as
possible, I doubt that you will succeed."

"Yes, Sensai. My apologies for my behavior."

"Unnecessary, but still accepted."

At this point in time, 2 members of this class nearly fall through the door.
"Sorry that we are late Sensai!" shouting, they went straight to their places.

"If this happens again, you will beg for mercy."

That was an answer which wasn't expected by these two. In nearly perfect synch they stopped and turned around
to see that their old teacher wasn't there. Instead of the senile chalk-pile stood a massive figure in the front
of the class.

"Uh-oh."

"Nix UH-OH. If you came late for a second time, I'll give you an advanced training on the track. 25 rounds in less
than 35 minutes. Failure means another try the next day. Understood?"

"Yes, Sensai" they shouted both at the same time.

"Good, now we should be able to begin with our lesson. Since you all are such fans of 2nd impact, and due the fact
that this was the only planned topic, we begin with that."

A collective disappointed sigh rushed through the class.



With a praising voice, just like a priest in the middle of a mass: "It is stated that in the year 2000
the earth was hit by a meteor in antarctica. This impact caused a large wave that wiped out nearly every
coastal city on the entire planet, which resulted in breakdowns of law and order. The following wars inflcited
nearly as many casualties as the impact itself. And whoever believes this bullshit is an Idio ho hooooot."

The class looked in awe and shock to their new teacher, not believing what has just happened.
But that wasn't the only shock for them. Another one followed suit.
A person decided to speak, one whom has never before spoken even a single word to the old sensai.

"Why do you not believe in the facts of 2nd impact?" asked Ayanami Rei.

"Because the story is impossible, and whoever had the idea to write it was a complete jerk. Every living being
with a brain and some elementary knowledge of physics can tell that such a scenario like this is impossible."

"Why?"

"The earth is, like most planets a shell over a liquid core, just like an egg, or a water-filled balloon.
An impact, when a large mass collides with a planet would send its shockwaves not only 2 dimensional in all
directions, it would also send a strong shockwave through the core. The shockwave would pass the core and
hit the other end of the planet, in this case, arctica.
But at 2nd impact, you had only a 2 dimensional shockwave which resulted in a large tsunami, and in some
vulcanic activity and earthquakes in the southern hemisphere, but there was almost no damage in the Arctic.
The vulcanic activity and earthquakes were also very .... mild for an impact of this scale.
And the fact that there were no shockwave through the core, which would have resulted in much more
earthquakes and vulcanic eruptions is evidence that there was a large explosion in Antarctica, but surely not
an impact. Most of the power of this explosion went in the sky, which is impossible if it would've
been an impact.
You all can try this by yourselves with a large water-filled ballon. Fill it almost to max. capacity,
then punch against it, but without enough force to explode it. You will see the shockwave will behave the
way I described."

"I see."

"But Sensai, if Antarctica wasn't hit by a meteor, then how do you explain the explosion?" asked Shinji.

"There are some rumors, but no facts. Whatever it was, all governments have the will to hide it under a cloak
of deception. Consider the fact that some really large monsters attacked this city in the last weeks, maybe it
was one of them."

This explanation resulted in an almost inaudible gasp from Ayanami.

"Well, before we have lunch-break, a little quiz. What is this: It is quiet, it behaves in a way so that
nobody notices it, but it sees and hears everything around it?"

"That's easy. It's Ayanami." shouted Kensuke.

Musashi quirked an eyebrow. "It's not nice to say that a fellow classmember behaves like a spy-drone."

Before he could explain this statement, the lunchbell rang.

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5 minutes later, Shinji sat with his 2 friends on the roof.

"That guy give me the creeps. I mean, 10km in 35 minutes. Some star-athletes can make this, but surely nobody
at this school. This guy must be insane."

Shinji looked at Touji and replied:"I don't think so. With a punishment that nobody is able to make, he can be
pretty sure that everybody will avoid it all costs. So he has obedient pupils."

"That's mind-control. That must be a new plan from the government to take our freedom away." said Kensuke.
Shinji and Touji looked bewildered at their friend.

"I seriously doubt that. Whoever he is, he is not from the government."

"Do you know him?" asked Kensuke. "I mean, you sound like you already met him."

After swallowing down a bite from his bento, Shinji answered:"Yep. I already met him."

"When? Where? What reason?" wanted Kensuke to know.

"Sorry pals, that's all I'm gonna tell ya."

"Awwwwhhh! You are no friend. Tell us at least what we should expecting."

"That's simple Touji. Give your best, and you will have no problems. Anger him, and the chance that you won't
survive this schoolyear is very high."

"Hahahaha...ha...........ha.. That's a joke, right?"

".........."

"Right?"

Shinji looked down to the schoolyard. After seeing nothing of interest, he watched the sports arena.

"He Touji, look at the sports arena, there you will find the answer."

Both teens, Touji and Kensuke looked at the mentioned place. And what they saw didn't calm them down.
Their wa their new Sensai, with bare chest and a large sword, practicing fluid motions in a way that clearly
shouted: I have much training. Mess with me and you are Salami.

The two teens looked at each other and said in unison: "This is not good."

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Afternoon wasn't nearly so interesting. Only some real education, but no great funny or scary scenes.
After the schoolday was over, Shinji decided to stay back to have a chance to talk to the "Sensai".

"How things going?" asked Masahiko.

"Much better. Since our little conversation, my life has improved a lot."

"That's good to hear. I think you wanna know why I'm here?"

"Yes, and I wanna know what really happened to our old Sensai."

Masahiko laughed. "You will not enjoy the truth."

"But the truth is still better than the darkness of unknowing."

"You've improved much since our last meeting. You want the truth, I'll tell you. I have a mission to fulfill.
THIS I WILL DO AT ALL COSTS. To be successful, I need allies and friends. Helping you was one of the steps
to get an ally. But I was not successful in my first attempt to finish my mission, so the scenario has
changed. It will take lots more time, and the need of allies is much greater. And I need contact to the
pilots of Eva. The old geezer was unnecessary, so he took the front of a train."

Shinji interrupted: "With your help?"

"Sure. I need his place, so he had to die."

"And what are your intentions? You kill people on the one side, you saved me on the other, but what are
your goals? What is your mission?"

"You have no need to know that, at least not now. But to complete my assignment, I have to make sure that
3rd impact will not happen."

Shinji chuckled. "Funny, I always thought that this is my job."

"It is. And it is not."

"What do you mean?"

"You fight to prevent a 3rd impact that is initialized by the angels. On the other side, your father and another
party want a controlled 3rd impact to fulfill their wishes. I'm here to stop every version of a 3rd impact."

Shinji is shocked: "But why? What are your information resources? Who are you?"

Masahiko looked Shinji straight in the eyes. "The other party wants immortality. They want to become gods.
My information resources are the Magi, the system that controls everything. And what your father wants,
is unknown to me. I have some suspicions, but no evidence. This is where I need your help."

"And who are you? You are not Musashi Masahiko. You are not japanese, and you are not asian.
You clad in black to hide your features, you wear large black sunglasses to hide as much of your face as possible.
Who are you, or better, WHAT are you?"

He laughed and looked at Shinji. "So much questions. Do you really wanna know the truth?"

"As far as the truth isn't that you are an angel, I'll wanna know it. And I think you owe me that knowledge."

"What gives you that idea?"

"I can go to my f ... to the commander, and you will be arrested."

"What do you think is Ayanami's first destination today? After my little explanation of the incidents behind
2nd impact, she will run to her commander and tell him that her new teacher knows so much that he is a new threat for
his scenario. She'll tell him of a person who knows too much. And I'm pretty sure that I will have some visitors
of the so called Section2 today. Which is what I wanted. As you see, this is no threat to me."

"So, that is the reason why you gave Ayanami the new nickname "Spydrone". That's pretty cruel to her.
But still, who are you?"

"You'll know when the time is right. You should learn patience. I bare no ill against you, so it is not
necessary to know my origins. Be sure, I'm not one of these so called "Angels". Is this answer satisfying?"

Shinji looked at him with a scowl: "Not really, but I doubt that I get a better answer today."

"Correct."

"Why do you want that Section2 comes to you? Under normal cicumstances, I would say that this is the most stupid
thing I ever heard of."

"Section2 is the most loved agency by your father. Today they will fail, and he will loose some of his pets.
So he will realize that I am really a new threat. He doesn't know who, or which party this is, he knows
nothing of the resources of this new threat to his scenario. So he will be under pressure. People under pressure
make mistakes. Mistakes will lead to opportunities for me."

Shinji sighed and sat down behind one of the desks. He shook his head and said: "I do not understand this.
I don't know that whatever your intentions are, you will not hurt me. That you have proven. But if I help you, what benefit
would I have?"

"You mean beyond surviving?"

"No, ... I mean......"

"Your mother."

"What? What has my mother to do with this? What do you mean?"

"Your father is an idiot. This is a fact. But even an idiot wouldn't destroy the world if he didn't have some goal.
His goal isn't to become a god or immortality, so he has to have another. Your mother is dead. So this could be a
possible goal for him."

"Her.....resurrection?"

"Yes."

"But that's impossible! Nobody can wake the dead!"

"Because if it would be possible, you would try it by yourself."

"Y....yes." sobbed Shinji.

"I'll give you a promise. And I try to never break my promises. But this one, I can fulfill surely. You'll see your
mother again."

"You cannot wake the dead!!"

"I don't need to. When the time has come, I will tell you where she is and how she can come back. Then you will
understand why your fathers scenario is flawed, why he cannot succeed. Why he mustn't succeed. But first I need
some help from you. Could your mother be the commanders ultimative goal?"

"Yes........If possible, he'll do anything to be reunited with her. She was the one and only light in his live,
and as she died, he died with her. If he has any goal, it would be that. Because if his goal would be to kill me,
it would have been sufficient to send some section2 agents to kill me."

"Your death is part of the scenario, but only in the last stages. Until this point of time, you'll be safe."

Shiniji sobbed again. "So he wanted my death really all the time."

"I don't think so. You didn't matter enough to him. But the fact that you are able to pilot, makes you important,
and gives him better chances to push his scenario forward. And with your death, he has better chances to reach
his goal."

He went to Shinji and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"But we can prevent this from happening. Trust me, and I will help you. But I can't do it alone. There are
some things that I don't understand, where I need some help. Will you help me?"

Shinji looked up to Masahikos face. "Yes, I will."

"Good."

He sqeezed Shinjis shoulder and said: "But we will need another allies too. The first would be a good choice."

"Ayanami?"

"Yes. When we can break the influence of your father, we have good chances."

"No way!"

"Sure way. She sees everything in black and white. She would make a choice, and I doubt that she would choose her
`father´ over her boyfriend."

"NANI?"

"I saw your expression as she was compared to a robot today. Denying is useless."

Shinji blushed and looked embarrassed on the floor.
"Is it so obvious?"

"For those which know where to look, yes. You have a good taste in women."

Shinji blushed harder. "Thanks, I think."

Masahiko chuckled. "No need to thank me. But you should tell her. You could meet her today at evening,
at the spot where we first met."

"How do you know that?"

"Never ask a magician how he does the magic. You should go."

"Yes. Thanks."

Shinji stood up and left the classroom.

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As Rei entered Gendos bureau, everything was the same as usual. The ceiling with the sephirotic system,
the lack of light, and Gendo behind his desk, with his hands folded in front of his face.

"Yes, Rei?"

"I have something disturbing to report. Today we received a new Sensai in school."

"School is not important. Why do you disturb me for such trivial matters?"

"He knows the truth about 2nd impact. He tried to bring it as an assumption, but he knows it."

"I will send Section2. They will deal with that problem."

"Ryokai. Commander, what is a spy-drone?"

"A spy drone is a advanced form of surveillance robot. They only exists in science-fiction films."

"But why was I compared to such a thing?"

"I do not know, but there is no need that you bother to think about it. He will die soon, and his words will
be forgotten."

Rei was not satisfied with this answer, but she decided to don't press that matter.
<If I pursue further for an answer, I will anger the commander. He gave me my purpose and my life,
so I shouldn't bother him.>

"Sayonara, Commander."

Without waiting for a reply, she left the office.

<Why was I compared to a surveillance device? I'm not a robot. Even when I get no answers from the commander,
I need to know. Who can I ask?
Dr. Akagi? No. She would tell me that this science-fiction and that I don't need
to think about that.
Her protegè would be a better choice, but Ibuki-san would tell me to go to her Sempai.
The other of the bridge crew do not like me, they wouldn't give me the answers I search for.
Sub-commander Fuyutsuki isn't here, he would be a possibility.
Major Katsuragi is no choice, when she is not in Nerv where I can't ask her, she is drunk.
The third child? Boys of his age mostly know much of science-fiction.
As he piloted the first time, he did it to save me from suffering. This was the action of someone who don't
dislike me. He would be another option. Fuyutsuki isn't here, that leaves the third child. I should ask him tomorrow,
before school.>

Satisfied with this planned course of action, she headed home to her apartment.

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<Things are getting better than I thought. Now I have 2 powerful allies. And, even though I hate to admit it,
playing teacher is fun. And I can test them if they are able to adapt to another kind of technology and reality.
Life is good.>

And if on cue, with the finishing of this thought, 3 black-suited men stormed his apartment.

<It's fun-time!>

"What do you want?"

"Nerv security. You are arrested. C.."

"I don't think so. Armor!"

Within a few seconds, a silver-shining armor soldified around the Sith.

"Energy-armor complete." announced a robotic voice.

"What? Call in for reinforcemmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaghh."

"Never underestimate the dark side."

He ignited the lightsword and began his attack. The few shots that hit him were reflected by the armor.
But the Section2 agents had nothing that could stop a blade of pure energy. They died fast, and in doing so,
they had more luck than their leader, whom was still dying after his team has ceased to exist.

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"Sir, the team we have sent to retrieve this "Sensai" hasn't reported back. After a search, we found their
bodies in front of the building where the target lives. We are unable to figure out which weapon was used,
we haven't seen something like this so far, further investigation is needed. Should we proceed with the
assignment of this team?"

"No, bring the bodies back to base, Dr.Akagi should investigate which weapon this was."

"Yes, Sir."

Gendo closed the vid-link, sat back in his chair and sighed. "Another problem that threatens us. As if Seele
and the UN wouldn't be enough."

"Yes," replied Fuyutsuki "but first we need to know what are the goals of this new party."

"If this really is a new party."

"One man could take the team out. Hardly, but possible. But he wouldn't do such a thing without a large backup.
What we really need to know are their goals, and their resources."

"I know. Since an assault was a failure, we see if we can use his position as a Sensai to gain the knowledge
we need. Rei should be able to figure out what he wants."

Fuytsuki shook his head. "Rei should succeed where our best intelligence resources fail? I know that she
is important, and I know her abilities, but this is impossible. Especial since this person has some sort of friendship
with the third. The third will block her, and our real enemy can move unhindered. We cannot remove him from school
without alarming them."

"You have some points, but Rei will always succeed where nobody else can. She is also the one which has the best
chance to survive an encounter with a person that kills an entire Section2-team."

"That's for sure. And what do we do with the third?"

"Observe him. His changes so far are no threat to us. He is willing to fight, and since he says clearly what
he wants, we can make sure that he stays this way. If it would have been the only effect of this person,
I would have asked him if he wants to join Nerv. But the other incidents are the indicators of impending doom.
He kills fast and without hesitation, and, more important, we can't figure out how."

"Seele has said that they will send a controller that comes from their new allies. Maybe he is it."

"They always talked about a woman. And they talked way too much about their new allies. Whoever they will send,
he or she will not kill a lot of people just for fun. This guy enjoys killing, if it would be otherwise, he
wouldn't kill so much. And the little show that he gave on the training ground of the school showed that he
masters ancient weapons. Weapons which he hasn't use in killing so far."

"Hm. But why has Seele talked so much?"

"They were so proud to have found these allies, so much so that they thought that they should give me some very
interesting insights to make me see that every kind of resistance would be futile."

"Why?"

"Because they have allies from another world."

Fuyutsuki inhaled sharply. "What?"

"They indicated that their ally is not from this planet. And that the controller they will send is from a party
that is also willing to help them."

"Are you serious?"

"You don't see me laughing. The controller will come from another organisation, and will not know Seeles real
reasons for 3I. So, the controller will be a very limited threat. But with this in mind, I found a very interesting
thought. Our new friend here is the contrary of this controller. He acts complete differently, and he has other
goals. Seele has new allies, what if these allies have enemies as well? What if our friend here is one of these
enemies?"

"That would be interesting. We could use him against Seele and our scenario could move on."

"Correct. And, if they are really from another world, we can gain knowledge that is far behind our grasp.
We could ensure rulership over the world without Eva or other insecure technology."

"An interesting idea. But how should we find evidence for this theory?"

"Rei will see to do that. And we use Section2 as well, as well as the third. Even when he doesn't know it,
his changes are our best indicators for the plans of this guy. And so far, this changes were for our benefit."

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"Commander."

"Rei, I have an assignment for you."

"Aa."

"Your new Sensai, you will observe him, and you will report anything unusual that he does directly to me."

"Didn't Section2 capture him?"

"The team I sent was killed."

Rei blinked. Twice.

"I see."

"And you will observe the third, report all significant changes in his behavior, and how he acts toward this
teacher. It is most likely that the influence of this man is the reason behind the change in behavior that
we have seen after the 4th angel."

Rei tilted her head to the right side and looked curious at the commander.

"After the 4th, the third child ran away. He was on the verge of committing suicide, but was stopped by a man
that looked exactly the same as our new friend. They talked for a long time, after this talk, the third went home and
made his demands. Instead of fear of punishment, he dictated us rules that we have to obey if we want that he
continues piloting. The explanation for this change in his behavior must lie in this conversation."

"I understand."

"And Rei."

"Yes?"

"Be cautious. "Take no unnecessary risks, you are needed otherwise as well."

"Hai."

And with that, she left the office.

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<I have to make sure that the third isn't controlled by the Sensai. This will be my first task.
After I have this confirmed, I can still ask him the questions. He piloted for me before he met the
Sensai. This means that he is trustworthy for such questions, if he isn't mind-controlled.

Then I will to learn of the motives of this teacher. Who he is. What his goals are. What his desires are.
How it it possible for the commander to benefit from his appearance. This will be my second task.

If this teacher is a threat against me, the third or the commander, I will erase him.
Section2 has failed, but I'm better anyway.>

These were her thoughts on the way back to her apartment.
As she stood in front of her door, she froze.

<If this teacher is a threat against me, the third or the commander... This thought is wrong. The commander
is the most important person. The order should be the commander, me or the third. Why wasn't this my first
thought? What makes the third more important? I do not understand. Why...?>

She opened the door, enters the apartement and went straight to her bed. She lay down and watched the ceiling,
or, to be more specific, a little spider that was on the ceiling.

<The priorities in my life are set. They are clear. I will fullfill my duties. I will succeed in the
initiation of 3I and give the commander what he desires. Then I will cease to exist, go back to the emptiness
I came from. This is what I desire. My thoughts this day didn't follow these priorities. This must not happen
again.>

She stood up and went to the kitchen, where she took a glass, filled it with water and drank it. Then she
went back to bed and sat down.

<But these priorities feel ............. empty. Why? They are my life. They are the reason for my existence.
They are everything I am. They are me. They cannot be false. What has happened? What makes the third more
important than the commander? I do not understand. I must know the answers of this questions. I need the answers
of this questions. Who can I ask? The commander is not possible. If he hears that I have doubts, he will replace me.
I WANT TO DECEIVE THE COMMANDER? WHY?>

She stood up and walked to the window. As she looked out, no expression on her face showed her inner turmoil.

<I need to clarify the reasons for these changes. I need to know what initiated them, what has changed, and what
will be the outcome. What could be the outcome?>

She left her apartment and began to wander, without any particular destination.

<My life is based on my purpose. My purpose is to initiate 3I. This is because I have to fulfill
the wishes of the commander. Which is the most important thing in my life.
My life is bare. I prefer this state of life. I do not need possessions or emotional bindings. I will die.
After death, such things are irrelevant, so why should they take place in my life.
My relation with other persons are almost non-existent. I speak with the commander. I like to speak with the
commander. He is the only one that treats me as a person. He is the only one that respects me.

Dr. Akagi dislikes me. She sees me as a succesful experiment, maybe as her best lab-rat. But not
as being, as a living being with a mind and a soul. Even when the soul is not mine, the soul is within me.
That makes me a living being. But she won't treat me as such. But I still trust her. Why?
Another question that needs an answer.

Prof. Fuyutsuki is neutral. He doesn't talk much to me. He feels unwell in my presence, so he avoids it.
But when I ask him a question, he answers as best as he can. He does not lie to me, he does treat me.....well.
I should talk more often to him. I need to know why he feels unwell in my presence. Then I can ask him more
questions. I have a lot of questions to ask. He will help me. I don't know why I'm so sure, but I know it.

Captain Katsuragi. To her I'm nothing. Just a tool to pilot EVA. A tool to help her in her quest for revenge
against the angels. If I would die, she would write a report and that would be it. She never talks to me.
She sees me as the commanders puppet. I do not trust her, nor do I like her.
But she lives with the third. She gave him a home. She tries to help him. I do not understand her.

1st Lieutenant Ibuki. She always try to be nice, even when she finds me disgusting. I heard as she talkes
to her sempai. I heard that she said that such an abomination like me shouldn't exist. But when I talk to her,
she tries to be nice. She masks her feelings towards me. I cannot trust her. When I ask her something,
she would tell her sempai. And Akagi would tell it immediately to the commander, she's his lover after all.
Even when her death is already written.

2nd Lieutenant Hyuga. He never talks to me. For him, I'm just a little doll that talks only to the commander.
Even when i try talk to him, I won't receive an answer.

The same goes for 2nd Lietenant Aoba.
They won't help me.

The third child. Ikari Shinji. The son of the commander. The son that has abandoned his father.
But he is still important. Without him, the third impact would be impossible.
As he came, he was unwilling to pilot. But he has agreed for the reason to spare me of the pain.
I don't understand why he did this. As he held me in the hangar, I felt warmth. I felt secure.
Feelings that I've only known out of books. As he hold me, I experienced them.
These are my most precious moments. Why was he able to trigger this emotions?
And he piloted again against the 4th. He disobeyed orders, but he was successful. He was punished
for this incident, and then he wasn't here anymore. Everybody thought that he had run away.
That made me.......what was that feeling? As I was the only person on the entire world?
But he hadn't run away. He came back. Changed. Changed forever.
Instead of apologizing, he confronted the captain with a list of demands.
Some of them were very embarrassing for the captain. His demands were granted.
But the relationship between the captain and the third was damaged. It has not recovered.
As this sensai compared me to a robot today, he scowled. He did not like it.
I will ask him what that means. I need to know.

I can ask Ikari-san and Prof. Fuyutsuki. I will begin with Ikari-san.>

During these thoughts, she has left the city and entered the surrounding hills.
As she was finished with her thoughts, she stood on the grass near a cliff. On the edge of the cliff sat
a person. A boy.

"Ikari-san?"

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"Ayanami? .......... What are you doing here?"

"I do not know."

"Want to see the sunset?"

"Why should I do that?"

"To see its beauty. To relax and watch something that's worth fighting for."

"There will be a sunset every day, until the time when the sun goes nova and swallows the earth. No fighting
will keep this from happening. I don't understand your statement."

"But when nobody sees the sunset, how can it be beautiful anymore?"

"The sunset will be, the same as always. When you think that it is beautiful now, then it will be then too."

"But when nobody is here to admire its beauty, how can it be beautyful anymore. The impression of beauty
can only be given by intelligent beings that are able to see something beautiful. No people means no beauty."

"I see."

She went to Shinji and sat down beside him.

"Why wouldn't there be people around to admire the beauty?"

"Third impact. When we would not fight to prevent it, the beauty would be lost. Third impact means the end of
humanity. So this sunset is one of these things I fight for."

"I understand."

They both sat silently and watched as the sun went under the horizon.

"Today in school, you didn't like it as our sensai compared me to a Spy-drone."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It was in too close a vincinity to the truth."

"You think of me as a robot?"
<Not he too. I thought that he sees me as a person. But now he compares to a thing. Why does he do that?>

"No. You are a living a being. You breathe, you eat, your heart beats. These are all signs for life."

"You say that I live. But you said not that I'm not a robot."

"The problem is your behaviour."

"Please explain." she said with a dead-pan expression on her face.

"You do nothing to enjoy yourself. You speak with nobody when it is not absolute necessary. You have no friends.
You have no hobbies. Your social skills are non-existent. Not that mine are a lot better, but I'm able to talk
to other people, and I have some friends. The best answers you give are yes or no. No explanations or something
else, just plain answers. That gives everybody the expression that you don't seek understanding, that you know
everything. You do not smile or laugh, you do not cry. You show no emotions. I don't know if you even have emotions.
All this is the behavior of a robot. Of an object that doesn't live like everybody else.
That you were compared to a robot was cruel, but even worse is that this contains so much truth."

"When you see me as robot, why do you care? I have no emotions, nor do I need them. They have no purpose.
And.."

"They would make you human."

This statement silenced Ayanami.

<The commander told me that emotions are only for the weak. Ikari-san tells me that everybody has emotions.
Any person that I have met had emotions, with the only exception of the commander. When the commander is right,
they are all weak. This is the reason why third impact is needed. To help them to overcome their weaknesses.
But if emotions are their way to show their humanity, and third impact would rip them away from them, would this
be really beneficial for humanity as the commander claims?
I have not enough information about emotions to have an opinion on that matter. The commander told me the truth
which I believe. But now I hear another point of view that differs greatly. The commander has never lied to me.
But Ikari-san? I'm not sure. Maybe this is what this teacher whispers in his ears to poison his thoughts with
untruths that should force the third against his father. As if it wasn't bad enough that he abandoned his father.>

"When the actions of humans are that the son leaves the father, which still mourns over his dead wife, alone,
then I would prefer to not be human."

"What do you mean?"

Rei looked in his eyes as she spoke her question. "Why did you abandon your father?"

"NANI?!"

"Why did you abandon your father?"

"I.......abandon him? What do you mean Ayanami?"

"You abandoned him when he needs you the most. Why?"

"I have not abandon him. He abandoned me!"

SLAP!

"Why did you do that?"

"You should tell me the truth. Instead you blame your father. I want the truth, not some false information.
I want to understand these "emotions", and I want to understand why they had the ability to force a son to leave
his father. But when you tell me the untruth, this information is not useful. Do not waste my time, and don't tell
me lies about the commander."

Burning with rage, Shinji stood up. He looked down at Rei and snarled.
"You are really fathers fucking doll. I abandoned him? If I could have done, and if I had the knowledge of the
last ten empty years, I would have abandon him with joy. And something to think about, miss genius: How can a
four year old boy abandon an adult. Especially when this boy cries for his father?"

With that he turned around and marched back to the city.

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On her way back to her home she thought over the conversation with the third.
<The commander told me that he was abandoned by his son. The commander never lied to me. But when the third
was only 4 years old at this date, it is hard to imagine that such a thing could happen.
But was he really 4 years old? If he was older, the information of the commander would be correct.
I need to clarify this information. I can't trust the files in the Magi, if the third is right, these
would be modified.
The only one who might know something about this is sub-commander Fuyutsuki.
So I need to get this information from him. I'll ask him tomorrow.>

As she stood in the front of her building, she stopped.
<What if the third was right? I doubt it, but that doesn't mean that it is impossible. What should I do then?
This would mean that the commander lied to me. That would mean that he is not trustworthy.
That all of the things he told me are questionable. Even 3I. What would then be my purpose?
For what reason would I live? Without a meaning, I should die. I need to find a scenario that covers this
possibility. I have to be prepared for everything, that's what the commander taught me.
But if the commander lied, is this still the right way of action?>

She entered the building, and took the stairs up to the third floor. She went to her apartment, opened
the unlocked door and entered. She went in the kitchen and drank a glass of water, then she lied down on her bed.
<I need these answers as soon as possible. If the commander lied to me I have to search for a course of action.
If the third lied, I will tell the commander and ask if he could be erased.>

Satisfied with this plans, she began to sleep.

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After shinji entered the Katsuragi-Apartment, he went straight to his room. He entered and slammed the door
behind him.
<That silly robot. I have abandoned HIM? And she believes that? How stupid can a person really be?
As the Sensai told me after class that I should talk to her, and that I can do it at the hill, I hoped
to have a real conversation with her, talk to her, see if there can be more than this non-existing work-relationship.
Now I only wish that she get hurt in the next attack and is taken off the pilot roster, so that I'll never see her
again.>

He lied down on his futon and watched the ceiling.
<Just great. With the confidence I found after my trip at the edge of sanity, with the help of a person that
clearly states that he just talks to me because I'm a pilot, things went better. Misato has to complete a fair amount
of the chores, and washing her underwear by herself, the tests are not as bad as I thought and I have found
two friends. And I had to work with an enigmatic girl that looks so good that I almost wanted to ask her if she
wants to be my girlfriend.>

He turned around and cursed. "Damn you father. Whoever this sensai really is, if he wants to kill you, I'll
help him gladly."

<Because he made this girl a fucking doll. Maybe he screws her, too. Wouldn't surprise me, it would at least explain why
he wanted to raise a strange girl instead of his own son.>

He cursed again. "I never thought that I'm able to wish to see someone dead, but I have to admit that the thought of
the dead body of this bastard lying to my feet is really satisfying."

<Rei behaves like a robot, so I'll treat her as one. Whatever, I want to have a girlfriend, I want to have someone
that gives me strenght and confidence. There are not many girls in my class that would fit.
Hm...................................let's think.........................................
Hikari would be the best choice. She's a little bit bossy, but she's cute. And she is solo.
Tomorrow I will ask her out. I'll see if she's interested, and if she is, let's see how things go.>

The thoughts of Hikari calmed him somwhat down, so that he was finally able to sleep.

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On the next morning, Shinji stood grinning in the kitchen and made breakfast as his guardian decided to show up
from the world of alcohol-induced sleeping.

"Hey, Shinji, why are you in such a good mood this morning? Don't tell me that you can't await the synch-tests
at noon."

"Hardly. But that brings me to a question. Is it possible that I don't have to take the synch-tests the same time
as Ayanami?"

Misato eyes went big. "It is possible, but why do you want that?"

"I can't stand her anymore."

"That's not a good reason for the larger amount of work for the technicians."

"Her presence would lower my synch-ratio."

"Why? What's happened?"

"That's nothing of your concern."

"I'm your guardian!"

"But not my mother."

Her voice grew cold. "I see. I'll ask Ritsuko to see what she can do."

"Thanks. I appreciate that."

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Preread by Ezstarius
Domo arigato