Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Evangelion Battle Planet ❯ Bout one! OOC Shinji vs. Real Shinji ( Chapter 1 )

(Hey everyone, Diros here. This is my first attempt at writing an Eva Fanfic, and my first entry at FF.net.

I know your all screaming "OH GOD! Another newbie!" but at least READ the story before you flame it.

In no way, shape, form, or fashion do I own any Evangelion characters, or other anime related characters based herein , nor do I own the format of this story. So far, all I've seen is Senshi Battle Planet, and G.B.P. So I figured, "Why not Eva??" There may have been more before them, I dunno. I will include random characters from all kinds of games, and maybe other animes. Who knows? Depends on how long my soda supply lasts. But anyway, on with the show!)

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"BUY IT NOW! BUY IT NOW! And if you call now, you'll get this free-"

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"John!" "Marsha!" "John!" "Mar-"

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"OOH OOH-"

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More fun than...well it's not very fun..

Funnier than...wait..not very funny either..

More action than...a...erm....ball of yarn?

Aww, who the hell are we kiddin'?



It's EVA. BATTLE. PLANET!

Brought to you in part by...well..nobody.

Today's bout!



Shinji VS OOC Shinji

Announcerette (We had to change it...she started getting violent..): Asuka Langley Sohryu

Announcerettes Subject (Yeah that too..): Pen-Pen (It was the only male character besides Kaji she would let near her...)

Gong Ringer: Rei Ayanami.



Battle Arena: The middle of nowhere that lasts for miles that could only be found in DBZ. But we sectioned off a square mile of it to build a football field sized arena. (We used the extra space for parking)

Weapons of Choice (Dig the song. DIG IT NOW)

Shinji- Evangelion Body armor. Type Eva 01.

OOC Shinji- Evangelion Body Armor. Type Eva 01



(In the announcers booth)

Asuka:[Off in La-La land.]

Pen-Pen:[With an English accent.] Welcome everyone, to the first edition of Eva Battle Planet. Seeing how being a penguin made me inept at speech, the writer of this remarkable fic decided to give me a voice of my choosing.

Asuka:[Sighs] I'm stuck in an announcers booth, alone, with this stupid penguin. At least your not a complete perv. Ne Pen-Pen? [Looks to him.]

Pen-Pen: I would have to say otherwise, for you see, I find you quite a fascinating piece of ass.

Asuka:[Shakes her head slightly] Did you just talk?

Pen-Pen: Wark? [Tilts his head]

Asuka: I didn't think so. Well, looks like our first of pathetic fighters have entered the field it's Shinji..and...ooh..that's a nice outfit....[Now staring.]

(On the battlefield)

Shinji:[Was dressed in some blue and black fatigue pants, and a sleeveless black t-shirt. Much due to the goading of Touji and Kensuke]: Mutter mutter mutter.....

(Sidelines)

Touji: You get all that?

Kensuke:[Nods] I don't think he owns a knife that big.

Touji: Oh dear...[Sweat drops] I fear for my life..

Kensuke: Fear for more than that...

(Back in the booth)

Asuka:[Staring at the abnormally dressed Shinji] 'He's kinda' cute now that I look at him..'

Pen-Pen: Well, now that her attentions have been diverted, I shall announce the next fighter. And that would be, OOC Shinji.

(Field..)

OOC Shinji:[Dressed in the same attire as his counterpart] WOOT WOOT! I'm about to kick some f**king a**! Bring the little f**king mama's boy on!

Shinji:[Sighs] The things I do for love..(From Courage the Cowardly Dog...)

Asuka[Looking to the other Shinji] There's two Shinjis?! The hell!?

Pen-Pen:No no, that's OOC Shinji. And that's the Shinji we all know and love..and hate..

Asuka:[Ker-blink] I need to lay down.. [Exits the announcers booth]

Pen-Pen: Finally, now that she's out of the way. let the match begin! Sound the gong!

[Rei walks up to the gong, holding a mallet, she swings hard, but the gong emanates nothing. She looks around, she could feel the eyes of EVERYONE in the entire arena upon her. She blushes slightly.]

Rei: What is it?

OOC Shinji::Singing softly:: Thong th-thong thong thong.

[That's right all you Rei-philes. Rei Ayanami is currently wearing a very small revealing two piece thong bikini.]

Shinji: Rei-chan....[Trying hard to suppress his nose bleed]

Gong 1.0 [Went dead seeing Rei in a thong.]

Pen-Pen: Rei Ayanami, please come to the announcers booth. Rei Ayanami, to the announcers booth. Thank you.

Rei:[Sighs, and walks off, the gong behind her melting into a pile of happy gongily goo] Major Katsuragi said that I should wear this. So why am I being reprimanded for it?

Pen-Pen: And the match is under way! OOC Shinji charges!

OOC Shinji: Die you lowly scum! Then that sweet piece if ass Asuka is all MINE! Rei too!

Shinji:[Suddenly developing DBZ-ish powers, with the ki flare around him and all] Leave Asuka-chan and Rei-chan out of this!!

Asuka:[Watching the match on T.V at home] He DOES like me! [Squeals like a little school girl.]

Pen-Pen: Shinji has developed Dragon Ball Z like powers! And is proceeding to power up! I wonder what his power level is?

Vegeta: [From somewhere in the crowd] 13!!

[Raucous laughter.]

Pen-Pen:[Aside from the mic] It's Shinji, c'mon. And where the hell is Rei?

(Rei is currently defending herself from fan boys of all nature. So far, seven of them lay on the floor, clutching their groins.)

Shinji:[Charges too]

OOC Shinji: HEY! He's not supposed to be doing THIS! [Starts getting smacked around like a little bitch He may be OOC Shinji, but he's still Shinji. He's WEAK.]

Shinji:[Talking with every punch he lands] Who [smack] is [smack] your [smack] daddy?

OOC Shinji:Manages to get back far enough) Damn. I didn't want to do this, but I have no choice! [Is suddenly clad in red and black Eva-01 like armor in a flash of light] Lets dance!

Shinji:[Flash of light, regular Eva 01 armor, prog knife dropping] Do you tango?

Crowd: WTF?!

[The fight stops. They both turn to opposite directions looking to the crowd]

OOC Shinji: I asked him if he wanted to dance, and he said "Do I tango?" It's a joke...idiots..

Crowd: OOOOH!!

(Authors babble: Shinji and OOC Shinji are getting kind of hard to tell who is the real Shinji, seeing how the real one is going OOC himself. But it's better this way. Trust me.)

[Shinji and OOC Shinji clash prog knives]

Pen-Pen: I seriously was NOT expecting ANY of this. I am amazed. Shinji is showing some actual SPINE. Alright then. From now on, to make Shinji fight, make fun of Asuka.

(Sidelines)

Kensuke:[Recording the entire event] WOW! Touji! Are you seeing this?!?!? This is amazing! Shinji is actually NOT wimping out for a change!

Touji: Mmph mmph mppmh mmph mph!

Kensuke:[Turns around] I hate you Touji....

[Apparently, Hikari found her way to the sidelines, and asked Touji if he was bored.]

[Broken prog knife parts litter the ground]

Shinji[Had his hands interlocked with OOC Shinji's. Neither of them gaining any ground]

OOC Shinji: Who are you fighting for?!

Shinji: ME! (From Ready to Rumble)

Gendo: [Sitting in the bleachers, munching a bag of popcorn] Yui would be proud. [Then exploded.]

[Three miles away]

Assassin: Target eliminated.

[Back at the fight.]

[Both Shinji's are laying on the ground, dead tired. Suddenly both Asuka and Rei enter the ring. Dressed in schoolgirl uniforms.]

Shinji: Asuka-chan?

OOC Shinji: Rei-chan?

Asuka:[To Shinji] Home. NOW.

[A dust trail is left. Shinji is scared out of his mind]

Asuka: [Walked after him, a blushing smile on her face.] He deserves a reward for being so brave..

Rei:[To OOC Shinji] To my apartment. Now.

OOC Shinji:[Left a dust trail as well. But when he peered into the open door of Rei's apartment, he saw torture devices] The hell? [A bottle collides with the back of his head] 0o00o0 stars..[Thump]

Rei:[Fire in her eyes] Fan boys.. must have revenge. Their blood was not enough. Need more.

Pen-Pen:[Blink Blink] Well..uh..I guess the winner of this bout is Shinji. We'd sound the gong, but it's still in ecstasy from seeing a nearly nude Rei. So is about half of the male population of the crowd.

[At Misato's Apartment]

Asuka: [Purring like a kitten] Mmmmmmm...Oh god..yes...yes Shinji..more..oh god... OH GOD! THERE THERE! AHHH!!! HARDER!! HARDER!!

Shinji: Asuka-chan, don't you think your taking a back rub a little too far?

Asuka: [Purrs] Please don't stop Shin-chaaan.

Shinji: H..hai..

[He continues, more erotic moans ensue]

Gendo:[With a slight blush, in the Gendo Position(TM)] Thank god we got those audio recorders implanted...

Fuyutski:[Blush on his face as well] Indeed...

Asuka:[Over the intercom] Oh my god Shinji...that felt sooooo good...your turn!

Shinji: EEP!



Winner of this bout is:

Shinji Ikari



Post Fight Ramblings, Rants, and Raves.

Misato: I wasen't even in this fic!

Diros: Calm down! Maybe Next time.

Asuka: No problems here!

Shinji: Hai! [Nuzzles Asuka, who nuzzles back.]

Rei: I dislike the Second Children acquiring the affections of the Third.

Diros: Depends on the R&R next time alright? If enough people ask, YOU get Shinji.

Asuka: Over my dead body!

Rei: That can be arranged..

Shinji: Am I just a piece of meat or something?

Both girls: Yes!

Diros: Oi vey...

Rei: Shinji-kun's clone has very little resistance..

OOC Shinji:[Covered in welts, bumps, marks, bruises, scratches, scrapes, and..stretch marks?] WHY ME??? [Exploded.]

Diros: I am SO not cleaning that up.

Pen-Pen: Wark wark wark wark!!

Diros: No, you can NOT speak again.

Pen-Pen:[Is now a sad penguin]

Kaji: What about Mary Sues? Not many people like them. It would make great for a fic like this.

Diros: Once more, that will be decided from the R&R we get. If we don't get enough, the show will be canceled, and you all get to go back to the world of mindf**k. And the censor just lost HER job... TURN IT OFF!

Maya:[From far off] Gomen ne!!! But it's rated PG-13!!

Diros: Oh yeah..



Author's indecent ramblings.

Now I know you all HATED that fic, but who knows eh? I might be able to get one or two good reviews eh? Hey who knows, if I get a few good reviews, I may write another one. Bout requests are welcomed. Now if you'll excuse me, the white coats are here to come drag me away.