Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Someday Somewhere ❯ Sixth Mistake ( Chapter 6 )

Evangelion Parody Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Non-Standard Disclaimer.

Has everyone seen the picture of Asuka cosplaying as Rabi en Rose? If not, you're seriously missing out (It's in the new Sequel to Ayanami Rei Ikusei Keikaku). If I owned Evangelion, they'd all be cosplaying (I can see Rei as Rin from Maburaho). I'm still laying siege to GAINAX's website and respective email accounts. I'm confidant that they'll concede any day now.

Author's Pre-Self Loathing -

Some of my friends (not to mention a few of my regular readers) have been pestering me to update this particular story thread (Some of my friends didn't even enjoy Evangelion! Bloody Philistines.), so here it is. In glorious black and white (unless you need to degauss your monitor, then it's probably a weird shade of purple, possibly green or maybe even red)

Notice the lack of Self Hatred. The corner stone of my existence is rapidly disappearing. I think the end of the world is nigh. Better not be, I'm enjoying Full Metal Alchemist too much.

Someday Somewhere

Sixth Mistake - Longing For Neglect Once Again?

NERV - Where Dreams Are Made A Reality (The Kind Of Dreams Where You Wake Up Screaming)

With a reluctance born of self-preservation, Ritsuko deactivated the security overrides on the door that sealed her and her young companion away from the world at large and more importantly, from a certain lavender haired, gun wielding Misato Katsuragi. The access panel chirped contentedly informing the doctor that the steel plate bulkhead door was now unlocked. Moving off to the side, Ritsuko placed her hand into her lab coat pocket and clasped her firearm, comforted by its reassuring presence. She repeatedly reminded herself that Misato was her best friend and wouldn't really try to kill her. <She might try to wound me, but I don't think she'll shoot to kill.> Swallowing audibly, she waited for the coming storm. <At least I hope not.>

"It's about damn time." Misato spat furiously, storming into the lab room, her dark eyes quickly locating Ritsuko and her hand eagerly awaiting the brains order to fire the pistol it clutched repeatedly into the fake blonde's body. "Just how long does it take to……….." Her mental facilities came to a grinding halt causing her firearm to clatter harmlessly to the floor. "to……….." The cause of her system freeze being the only other occupant in the room. "to…………." Misato blinked once before regaining enough of her composure to speak. "Shinji-kun?"

Removing the last of the Velcro straps that had held him securely on the examination bench, Shinji turned his gaze towards Misato, his eyes rapidly falling to the floor due to his heightened state of nervous apprehension. "Please don't stare like that Misato-san." His hands shifted, trying in vain to cover all of his exposed flesh that was on display. "It's embarrassing enough as it is." Briefly glancing up at his former guardian and commanding officer, Shinji grew slightly concerned by the glazed expression on her face. "Misato-san?" He waved his hand in front of her eyes, alarmed at the lack of response. "Misato-san, you're nose is bleeding."

"Impressive isn't it, Misa-chan?" Ritsuko asked, amused by Misato's reaction. Now that she had deemed the situation safe she walked over to join Misato, pausing only to kick the fallen pistol to the other side of the room. "Here." She said, handing her a tissue. "It takes a little while to desensitise to the effects."

"Thanks." Misato answered, somewhat dazed and overawed by the overwhelming visual experience. "Did you design this?" Having adjusted marginally to the sight of Shinji, clad in an extremely revealing, almost X-Rated version of his regular plug suit, she slowly ran her eyes all over his body, appreciating every single aspect of what was on display.

Shaking her head, Ritsuko walked slowly around Shinji, carefully scrutinising the finished product. "No actually, I didn't." With her brief inspection complete, she sat down on her haunches, her vibrant green eyes level with Shinji's abdomen. "The MAGI created this little marvel all on their own." Tracing her index finger along the thin strips of form fitting material, Ritsuko shivered, luxuriating at the sensation of Shinji's firm, taut flesh. "Mother certainly knows her stuff."

"Remind me to offer my thanks to your mother's genius." Misato continued her exploratory examination, noting with some excitement just how athletically muscular her young charge was. <Looks like the training program is starting to pay dividends. It might be time to collect on my investment.>

"Just be thankful that she isn't with us anymore." Ritsuko muttered pointedly, taking time to enjoy the view she had. "She had quite a reputation." A dark eyebrow lifted in wry amusement. "Some of the stories would make even someone like you blush like an innocent little school girl."

Ignoring the not-so-subtle jibe, Misato moved closer towards Shinji to better appreciate the overall effect. "Thankful…….." She murmured softly. "Yes, I am thankful." Frowning slightly at how Shinji's desperate attempts at trying to cover himself obscured her view, Misato assumed her more authorative persona. "Shinji-kun." She said, raising her voice slightly while folding her arms across her chest.

"Yes Misato-san?" Shinji wondered what it was that Misato wanted from him this time. The last time she had acted like this he had been relentlessly interrogated about her rapidly diminishing panty supply. He had eventually confessed, after a particularly ruthless session, to illicitly auctioning her underwear off to the highest bidders in the hopes of securing enough of a financial base to flee the country and live a peaceful yet comfortable lifestyle on a sparsely populated tropical island paradise. Of course that particular dream had been shattered when Misato had declared that she deserved a share in the profits and that as his guardian, she would place his share into a secure trust fund. He had later discovered, much to his dismay, that Misato's idea of a secure trust fund was her own bank account.

"Turn around for a moment." She said seriously, twirling her finger in the air, motioning for him to follow suit. "I need to check something."

"Huh? What exactly?" Shinji asked dubiously. His suspicions were confirmed by the childish grin that split Misato's face. <Kami-sama, this cannot be good. I know that look.>

"Just do it okay?" Misato crooned gently, tracing small circles on Shinji's chest with her index finger. "Humour your Misato-chan." Clasping her hands together, she threw a devastatingly look in his direction, pleading for him to comply. "Please?"

His shoulders fell, mystified at how quickly Misato could change between her serious self and her more regular, playful self. "Whatever you say Misato-san." He sighed disconcertedly, slowly turning around, not really willing to resist her request.

Misato smiled. "Very nice." Her eyes roamed across his shoulders, down his back and finally pausing to linger on his behind. Turning to look at Ritsuko, who was still squatting on the floor, Misato pointed at Shinji's head. "What's with the cat ears Ritsu-chan?"

"An affection of sorts I suppose." Ritsuko replied, rising to her feet. "You do know what affection is, don't you Shinji-kun?" She whispered softly into his ear, her sweet, warm breath blowing gently against the side of his face. "I could always give you some lessons if you'd like."

"Uhhmm, maybe some other time." Realising that both women were now standing next to him, Shinji shuffled back a few paces in an attempt to at least be out of arms reach. "Thanks anyway Ritsuko-san, but shouldn't we be doing something about all those Angels?" He inclined his head towards the display screen that now registered even more Blue Pattern's than before. "And I'm still a little unsure about how this new plug suit is supposed to help." He plucked at some of the suit, still unable to determine what good it would do.

Ritsuko walked over to a nearby cabinet, removing a small, silver canister. "Look, all you have to do is head down to Terminal Dogma, wander around a bit and when you encounter them," She held up the canister, "use this."

"How will I know that I've found them, whoever they are?" Shinji took the offered canister from Ritsuko, staring at it, even more confused than before. "And what is this?" As far as he could see, it had no discernable labels or warnings that might offer some insight into what it might contain or be capable of.

"Trust me. You'll know when you see them. As for that," Ritsuko took Shinji's hands in hers and led him through the application of the device, "pull this pin and that should take care of the annoying bitches………I mean, our little problem once and for all."

Misato enveloped Shinji into a smothering embrace, pressing herself tightly against his slender body. "Shinji-kun won't be in any danger will he?"

"Not life threatening, no." Sitting on the edge of the table, Ritsuko crossed her legs and glanced around, searching for a cigarette. "Well, maybe a little." She admitted. "It all depends on how many of them there are that find him." Lighting her cigarette, she turned her sultry emerald eyes on Shinji, who was completely ensnared by Misato and barely able to move. "How's the stamina and endurance training going Shinji-kun?"

Even though he was already blushing, his face burned even brighter. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Tapping out her cigarette, Ritsuko walked across to stand next to Shinji on the opposite side to Misato. "Shinji-kun. Misato and I spent ages developing that program." She ran her fingers through his fine, soft hair. "It was designed specifically for your constitution. The only reason we enforce it is because we're concerned about your health and well-being."

<Oh yeah.> Shinji thought bitterly. <That explains why you shoved me into a biomechanical monster and sent me out to fight some giant creature with absolutely no training whatsoever.>

"Now, now. No sulking Shin-chan." Misato lifted Shinji's chin with her index finger, leaning in close enough that barely millimetres separated their faces. "Hurry up and finish your little job and we'll go back to your place and work on that endurance."

"Misato-san?" Shinji felt his resolve wavering. With Misato on one side and Ritsuko on the other, all avenues for possible escape were effectively removed.

"Hmmmmm." Misato hummed contentedly, closing her eyes happily and thinking pleasant thoughts about prolonged, intensive endurance training.

"Can you stop doing that?" Shinji asked, disturbed by the way Misato was now drooling.

"Doing what?" Misato replied, slightly annoyed that her train of thought had been derailed.

"Massaging my butt." He managed to answer, confident that it was Misato's hands in question. Time and association had afforded him the opportunity to be able to differentiate the subtle differences between Misato's and Ritsuko's hands.

"Oh sorry about that." Misato giggled, trying to appear suitably abashed by the impropriety of her actions and failing miserably. "Force of habit." She explained with an impish grin.

"Misato-san?" Shinji said again, his voice rising in pitch. Unable to budge even slightly, Shinji speculated on just what was going to happen if he couldn't get away from both Misato and Ritsuko. <What if someone walks in and sees me like this?> For the first time in a decade, Shinji felt a sense of relief that his Mother wouldn't able to witness just how his life had turned out.

<Hmmm, that should be ideal.>. Lost in the moment, Misato began formulating her post victory celebrations for Shinji's return. "Yes Shin-chan?" She said half-heartedly with her mind on more important matters. <I can take a couple of weeks off from work and it won't matter if Shinji-kun misses some school. Then we can ……….>

"You have to, uhhmm," He began perspiring heavily, feeling Ritsuko's supple fingers move over his shoulders and her body press against his back, "actually let me go so I can go find the Angels."

"Oh of course." Misato agreed, smiling warmly at Shinji. "How silly of me."

"Misato-san?" He repeated, his strained voice cracking. The suffocating feeling was steadily increasing with each passing second.

"Hmmm." She hummed again, her concentration focussed on more important issues.

He glanced over his shoulder, finding Ritsuko in a similar state to Misato. "About letting me go…………."

"Oh sorry." Misato apologised "I guess it 's just instinct."

"Misato. Seriously. Let the boy go." Ritsuko admonished her caustically, securing her own hold on Shinji, effectively pinning him completely.

<Who'd have thought I'd be longing for the good old days of neglect and abandonment.>

***

Tokyo-3 Municipal High School - Ruining The Best Days Of Your Life

"Hey Ken? You alive?" Touji strained to see through the near absolute darkness that enshrouded him, barely able to recognise the form next to him as his military otaku friend.

Kensuke moaned, his senses finally returning from the abyss of unconsciousness. "Yeah, but I think I'd rather be dead." He groaned loudly, struggling into an upright position. "Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much." Fumbling in the dark, he managed to locate his glasses, amazed that the fragile spectacles had apparently survived the vicious assault completely unscathed.

Pushing himself into a sitting position, Touji leaned back against the wall next to Kensuke and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness so he could better understand their dark prison. "Can you remember what happened?" He rubbed his head, wincing from the numerous bruises and contusions that he now sported. "I sort of remember ditching Ikari at lunch time and then afterwards it all becomes hazy."

"It was the girls." Kensuke said, his memory of the incident slowly defragmenting. "They jumped us." He grimaced at a particularly painful sensation throbbing from his ribcage. "Man, I didn't realise the Class Rep even knew how to throw a punch."

"Hey, my legs! I can't feel my legs!" Touji's panicked cry reverberated inside the small room. "I can't feel-"

"That's because those are my legs." Kensuke said wearily, grabbing a hold of Touji's leg and squeezing it. "Here's your's."

"Whew, that's a relief." Touji sighed, relieved at the discovery. "Thought for a minute there that I'd never play basketball again." With a less than sparkling academic record, Touji had more or less devoted his time and effort into developing his already considerable athletic ability. With grades that would make a stale bowl of miso soup look like a Tokyo University graduate, Touji knew without a doubt that a sports scholarship was his only chance at higher education. Either that or he'd have to marry into money. Unfortunately, all his preliminary investigations had revealed that the only single women with the kind of money worth marrying for were the First and Second Children. <Maybe I'll have to use the ol' Suzuhara charm and win one of 'em over.> The prospect of hooking up with either girl didn't particularly thrill him, but he knew that life was often cruel and unusual. <Cruel and Unusual? Sounds like the alter egos of Red and Blue.>

Kensuke glanced around the small room. Now that his vision had adjusted to the gloomy conditions, he could see, both he and Touji were in a storage closet of some sort. "I'm actually more worried by just where the hell are we and how in the hell do we get out of wherever it is we are." As far as he could tell, there were no visible exits or passages out of their predicament.

"Ken?" While Touji's voice was calm and level, there was a slight edge of urgency to it.

"Yeah Touji?" Kensuke replied, still searching through the gloom for a way out. "What's the matter." He paled, thinking back to lunch. "You don't need to go to the bathroom do you? Seriously, we need to get-"

"Can you take your hand off my leg now?" Touji asked.

"Oh, sure." Kensuke quickly released his hold on Touji's leg, coughing uncomfortably.

"Thanks." Touji shuffled across, leaving a noticeable gap between himself and Kensuke. "I'm just gonna check things over here, okay."

***

Streets of Tokyo-3 - If You Saw This Particular Group Of Girls Walking Towards You, What Would You Do?

"So that's what happened." Mayumi frowned at hearing the convoluted explanation from the seven other girls. "I still don't understand why you're all going to NERV though." She looked around at the serious expressions adorning her companions. "Isn't Ikari-kun safe there?"

"Safe?!?" Asuka shouted, waving her arms frantically in the air. "With Misato?" She stared in disbelief at the young girl. "Are you insane Angel Girl?" She continued her protestations, heedless of the curious looks her ranting was drawing from passers-by.

"Do not forget Doctor Akagi." Rei added sharply, her dislike for the blonde scientist evident in her voice. "She is undoubtedly there as well." Recalling some of the more colourful excerpts from Commander Ikari's private files that described to some extent the depths of the blonde scientists depravity, Rei knew without a doubt that the longer Shinji remained at NERV, the greater the possibility that he would be corrupted by her malign influence. <I must retrieve Ikari-kun as quickly as possible and secure him safely in my apartment where I can monitor and protect him.> The corner of Rei's mouth lifted at this line of thought. <Where there will be no interference.>

"And don't forget that little tramp Ibuki." Hikari huffed, vividly recalling the morning's incident where the woman had dropped off Shinji at school. "You should have seen the way she was dressed and how she was draped all over Shinji-kun." She fumed at how inappropriate and scandalous it had been. "It was totally indecent. Older women really have no shame."

"When Shinji-kun showed me around NERV," Mana smiled at the frowns produced by the other girls when she mentioned the special relationship she had with Shinji, "I noticed that there were an awful lot of female employees that were just a little too friendly with him."

Collating the information, Mayumi tried to discern a suitable course of action that would allow her the opportunity to see the shy and considerate young man that had made her brief stay in Tokyo-3 memorable. "So what do you all intend to do?"

"Do?" A series of veins started bulging and throbbing along Asuka's temple. "We'll simply march in there and drag his sorry ass out of there." Her eyes narrowed to thin slits and her hands clenched into tight fists, the knuckles popping ominously. "If I'm not there to keep an eye on him, who knows what sort of perverted things Baka Shinji would be doing?" Her eyebrow began twitching furiously at the possibilities.

"I am more concerned with what they are doing to Ikari-kun." Rei corrected the Second Children.

***

NERV - Relying On Unstable Teenagers To Save The World (We Are So Doomed)

Swallowing heavily, Shinji glanced at his two captors. "Uhmm. This isn't getting me to Terminal Dogma any faster, you realise that don't you?." Noticing how Ritsuko and Misato were now glaring at each other, sparks visibly discharging from their confrontation, his frantic struggles grew decidedly more desperate. <Not that I'm all that keen to face the Angels anyway, but it might be safer than staying here.>

"Major Katsuragi," Ritsuko adopted her typically superior demeanour, "I insist you release the Third Children at once." Attempting to free Shinji from Misato, her own hold on the petrified youth increased dramatically.

Misato reciprocated in turn by intertwining her legs with Shinji's. "I don't see you getting any less grabby, Doctor Akagi."

<Then again, maybe this isn't all that bad.> Shinji mused, beginning to enjoy being massaged between the two voluptuous women.

Before either woman could go further in their tug-of-war, the door slid open and Maya Ibuki strolled in. "Sempai, I couldn't locate Commander Ika-………….Shinji-kun? What's going on here?" All Maya could see was Shinji firmly pressed between the two older women, his head firmly trapped between four breasts and their bodies grinding against his.

// - Meanwhile in Maya's Mind - //

// Clad in her super heroine disguise, Super Chibi Maya stood atop the tallest broadcast antenna in the city, her figure hugging costume glistening in the sun and her cape fluttering in the breeze. With determination she carefully surveyed her domain for signs of trouble. //

"Oh, Maya-kun," Ritsuko quickly began working on a believable reason for the group hug that looked suspiciously like a Shinji sandwich, "Misato and I were just discussing the situation with Shinji-kun." Her eyes met with Misato's, praying the other woman would recognise the need for duplicity. "Weren't we Misa-chan?"

Misato assumed a serious expression, the whole pose marred by her intimate entanglement with Shinji. "Situation? Oh yes. The situation." She nodded vigorously. "Very serious. Have to make sure our precious Shinji-kun here," Realising how bad things looked, Misato reluctantly released her hold, instead opting to rest a hand on his shoulder, "understands things implicitly. Can't have him wandering off to face a life threatening situation without a full," Her eye's made another cursory pass over Shinji, "debriefing."

Maya stared at Shinji and his new wardrobe, her cheeks warming at the sight. <I'd say he's fully debriefed already.> "Cat ears again Sempai?" She asked, wondering just what it was about cats that so fixated her mentor.

// With her super hearing, Super Chibi Maya heard the distressed cries of another chibi being indecently assaulted by nefarious forces. Leaping into the air, she flew to aid the poor chibi victim. //

"Why is it whenever anyone sees someone walking around NERV wearing anything even remotely related to the genus 'Feline', that it has to do with me?" Ritsuko argued defensively, unintentionally drawing Shinji into an intimate embrace, similar to Misato's earlier one.

"Excuse me Sempai?" Maya tilted her head, trying to make sense of Shinji's muffled cries.

// Arriving on the scene, Super Chibi Maya immediately spotted a mostly naked chibi Shinji tied to a bed being mercilessly tormented by chibi Misato and chibi Ritsuko, both dressed in revealing chibi bondage gear. //

"What is it Maya-kun?" Ritsuko asked waspishly, annoyed by the constant questioning of the younger woman. Every time something happened to Shinji at NERV, everyone always assumed it was her fault. <Call him in for a few routine examinations and everyone suddenly accuses you of being a paedophile.>

"Uhmm," Maya pointed to Shinji's twitching arms and legs, "I don't think Shinji-kun can breathe."

// Declaring her intentions, Super Chibi Maya demanded the two chibi harlots release the poorly abused young chibi Shinji from his captivity. //

"Ohh, sorry about that Shinji-kun." Ritsuko apologised, releasing him to allow him to catch his breath.

Panting heavily, Shinji managed to glance up at Ritsuko from his hunched position and offer her a gentle smile. "No ……..problem………Ritsuko-san." Having recovered slightly from his ordeal, Shinji quickly moved towards the door before either woman had a chance to continue with their game. "But I really should get going." He stopped in the doorway and turned back to look at all three women. "Uhmm, how do I get to wherever it is I have to go?"

"Perhaps I should show Shinji-kun the way." Maya quickly offered, almost appearing at Shinji's side instantaneously. "I mean," She directed a coy smirk at both Ritsuko and Misato, "the Director of Tactical Operations and NERV's Chief Scientist are undoubtedly far too busy to worry about trifling things like that." Looping her arm with Shinji's, Maya led him out of the room. "I'll be your escort Shinji-kun, I'll get you to where you need to go."

// Dealing out her own brand of swift, brutal chibi justice, Super Chibi Maya disposed of her foes, leaving her free to release chibi Shinji from his bondage. //

With a backwards glance, Shinji cringed at the dark, murderous expressions decorating Misato and Ritsuko's faces. "Thanks Maya-san. Looks like I'm even further in debt to you."

"Don't sweat the details Shinji-kun.' Maya said merrily, gently caressing his forearm. "Maybe we could have breakfast together again." She suggested carefully. "Only next time we really should take our time. Interruptions can be so annoying, don't you agree?"

// Deciding that her valiant efforts deserved some form of reward, Super Chibi Maya scooped up a grateful chibi Shinji, carrying him back to her lair. //

"Definitely." Shinji confirmed. "I'll look forward to it."

Misato glared menacingly at the younger brunette and the way she was ' oh so innocently' attached to Shinji. "I think we're going to have to do something about her. Sooner rather than later and preferably permanent."

Ritsuko nodded, her own eyes twitching with fury. "Agreed."

***

Still linked arm in arm with Maya, Shinji felt a minor boost of confidence and self esteem. Unlike Misato's and Ritsuko's outrageous teasing, he found the attractive young woman's personality extremely pleasant and easy to deal with. "Do you know what's going on Maya-san? Misato-san and Ritsuko-san were kind of," He smiled wanly, searching for the right way to phrase the two women's earlier performance, "distracted and didn't really tell me anything more than there were a lot of Angel's suddenly appearing in the lower levels of NERV."

"Not really Shinji-kun." Maya confided honestly to the young man, slightly disappointed that she didn't really know any more than he did about the situation. "Sempai sent me to try and locate Commander Ikari and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki when we discovered what was happening."

"Where is my Father?" Shinji asked somewhat apprehensively. While he wasn't actually on amicable terms with the man, he still respected him to some degree. "I haven't seen him around Headquarters at all."

Shrugging, Maya moved in slightly closer to Shinji. "I couldn't find him. Inspector Kaji, Aoba-kun and Hyouga-kun are looking for them at the moment." She affectionately squeezed his arm, hoping to reassure him that everything would turn out fine.

Shinji's troubled eyes moved to watch the floor at his feet. "Oh."

"Don't get all gloomy and depressed." Maya clicked her fingers. "I tell you what. When you get back, how about I invite you over for dinner tonight."

"I wouldn't want to be a nuisance." He whispered disconsolately. "You don't have to be nice to me if you don't want to." Shinji tried to smile but could barely manage to lift the corners of his mouth.

"Oh stop that." Maya scolded, playfully slapping his shoulder. "It'd be my pleasure. I mean, you made breakfast this morning, so it's only fair that I repay your kindness by preparing dinner."

Smiling at Maya's eager expression, Shinji felt the sense of security and comfort return. "That'd be nice Maya-san. Thanks." In a moment of bravery, fuelled by his newly found self-confidence, Shinji hesitantly returned the gesture of gently squeezing Maya's forearm. "I wouldn't mind helping out though. I like to cook."

With her heart beating rapidly, Maya dived in and made her second offer. "You can always cook breakfast tomorrow morning." She said quickly, the words practically tumbling together.

"Uhhm, I wouldn't want to put you out." Shinji replied, unsure if he was overstepping the boundaries of social etiquette by accepting her generous offer from a work colleague. "You know, having to drop me of later and then pick me up again tomorrow morning."

"Oh that's okay." Maya said, waving away his concerns. "It won't be a problem at all." She assured him.

Shinji couldn't help but smile, truly glad that there were people like this in his life. People that were willing to ignore how pathetic and weak he was. People that were willing to accept him and be his friend. "Really?"

Maya nodded her head. "You can just stay the night."

***

With her frustration growing by the second at how Maya was apparently succeeding in her ploy to seduce Shinji, Misato removed a shoe and prepared to launch it at the offending television. Her decision to remove the offensive broadcast from sight was stalled by a muted explosion that caused the entire room to shake. "What the hell is going on now?"

"It appears we're under attack." Ritsuko chewed on her lip, the security footage she was watching did not look promising.

"Who by?" Misato walked over to see what was happening. "JSSDF? More Angels?" Her eyes widened in complete and utter panic. "Please don't tell me it's the Alcohol Debt Collection Agency." She scrambled to find her gun. "I meant to pay them, I swear, but without Shinji, I had nothing to use as collateral and they-"

"Still using Shinji to pay your way out of debt?" Ritsuko wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but the more she thought about it, the more feasible it sounded. <Imagine the revenue we could make from leasing him out.>

"He's worth Unit 01's weight in gold." With her gun in hand, Misato felt confident enough to face the problem head on. "I won't let the money-hungry bastards take me without a fight." She declared ominously, releasing the safety.

"You're going to need more than that I'm afraid." Ritsuko replied, pointing to the scene being played out. "See for yourself."

"What the ………." Lost for words, Misato could only watch as a large, familiar creature began renewing its assault on NERV Headquarters.

"The Angel of Illusion." Ritsuko began tapping out a series of activation commands that would hopefully hinder the large beasts attack. "It appears we're not the only ones who have decided to make a move." Zooming in on the small cluster of young women, she frowned at the familiar faces. "I'm surprised that they managed to put aside their differences and form an alliance."

"Sort of like us." Misato added innocuously, prompting a wry smile from her friend.

Ritsuko shrugged, uncertain if what she had with Misato was an alliance or simply a means to an end. "As adults, we're able to see past the petty differences and realise that sharing is better than missing out altogether." Either way, she knew that her chances were decidedly greater with Misato rather than against her. At least for the moment.

"Of course." Misato agreed.

<For now anyway.> Was the simultaneous thought from both of them.

***

Streets of Tokyo-3 - Because NERV Needs Casualties To Justify It's Existence

"That's the way Angel Girl." Asuka began pumping her fist in the air, spurring the Angel's assault on. "Get that big lug moving. Crack NERV open like the rotten egg that it is." Scattering debris caused another nearby building to collapse, but Asuka shrugged indifferently, believing the excessive collateral damage to be completely acceptable. <The lengths I have to go to, just to protect that Baka.> She smiled confidently. <I'll just have him make it up to me.>

Mayumi watched her monstrous partner continue to rage and destroy to it's hearts content, the nearby landscape suffering tremendously under the winged behemoth's savage fury. "Are you sure that we should be doing this?" She had not expected to have to attack NERV on her first day back in Tokyo-3. Re-positioning her glasses, she sighed wistfully, wondering when she would get to see Shinji again.

"What are they going to do?" Asuka grinned, enjoying the wanton destruction of NERV. "Send out the EVA's to stop us?" She pointed to Rei, who was simply watching the carnage with only marginal interest. "With both Wonder Girl and myself out here, they only have Baka Shinji to rely on," Asuka crossed her arms and smiled confidently, "and he'd rather die than hurt anyone."

Up until this point, Hikari had simply stood by, watching in silent awe at the brutal display. "I don't know about that Asuka. Aida-kun and Suzuhara-kun once told me about how Shinji-kun gets when he's inside his Evangelion. They said he was completely different from how he normally is." Hikari had initially tried to envision Shinji the way that the other two boys had described him, but still had some difficulty believing that inside the quiet, unassuming exterior lurked a violent psychopath.

"Oh shit." Asuka said, a cold sweat forming at the memory of just how unstoppable Shinji was when fighting inside his EVA. It was this aspect that had initially caught her attention. Coupled with his gentle, caring nature, she had slowly developed a keen interest in the Invincible Baka Shinji-sama.

Turning towards the rest of the assembled group, Rei waited patiently, her silence somehow attracting their attention. "It appears we should split our forces into separate groups." Motioning towards the rampaging Angel, she then nodded to Mayumi. "Yamagishi can easily provide the required diversion while the rest of us proceed to infiltrate NERV and extract Ikari-kun."

"Kills me to say it," Mana said, walking to stand beside the pale young girl, "but Ayanami's got a point. We need to strike hard and fast if I'm going to have any chance of rescuing my Shin-chan………. What?!? What did I say?" She demanded, noticing the less than pleased looks being directed at her.

Ignoring Mana's outburst, Asuka took control of the conversation. "Okay, let's split into two teams. I'll lead one," She declared, then pointing at Rei, "Wonder Girl, you take the other one."

"Who died and made you boss?" Mana grumbled, flicking an annoyed glance at the red head. It was bad enough she had to put up with the pompous girl strutting around like she owned the place, but to have to take orders from the girl. <The things I do for love.>

"Think about it spy." Asuka rolled her eyes and shook her head. "As the only Evangelion Pilots here, the two of us know the layout of NERV better than any of the of you."

In the background, the three Hayashibara sister's smirked at the comment, deciding to stay silent and simply wait for the right moment before making their move.

"How do we decide the groups?" Hikari shuffled nervously from foot to foot. She had never been inside NERV and considering some of the stories and rumours she had heard, she was in no real hurry to do so.

"Hikari. You me and …… " Asuka looked at the small cluster of triplets, deciding it was prudent to separate them, "you, the oldest one…….whatever your name is." For some reason, the three girls irritated her. There was something about them that set her on edge.

The Rei clone that had designated herself as the eldest of the three siblings returned Asuka's disdainful stare with one of her own. "Lina. Lina Hayashibara." Nodding to her two younger siblings, Lina moved to stand beside Asuka and Hikari.

"Whatever." Asuka said dismissively. "You're with me and Hikari." Her eyes roamed across to encompass the four remaining girls. With her gaze landing squarely on Rei, she grinned, the concept of a new scheme taking shape. "Wonder Girl, you get the spy and the other two."

Rei nodded once before turning and walking towards NERV, not even waiting for Tomoko, Momiji or Mana to join her. "Agreed." Her eyes narrowed in speculation, wondering just how to best remove her intrusive 'sisters' and the bothersome former spy. <I need to ascertain whether they are acting alone or as part of the collective.>

Before she could leave, Asuka grabbed Mana by the wrist and leaned in to whisper harshly into her ear. "I hope you remember our little agreement, Kirishima." Her piercing sapphire blue eyes held Mana's vibrant emerald orbs, searching for any hint of treachery.

"Of course." Mana whispered softly. Masking her true motives was something she had excelled at, even before the JSSDF had trained her in the finer arts of espionage. <I haven't forgotten what I'm here to do. I'm not going to let you or anyone else hurt my Shinji-kun ever again.>

Directing her gaze at the departing Rei and the two younger Hayashibara sisters, Asuka tightened her hold on the girl's wrist, reinforcing her words. "If you find the Baka, take out Wonder Girl and the other two and meet me back here."

"What about Yamagishi." Mana asked, concerned by how formidable the bookish young girl appeared. Her initial impression of a timid, bookish young girl was completely mistaken. "The fact that she's able to control that Angel-"

Shaking her head, Asuka smirked. "Don't worry about that. We remove Angel Girl and poof," She exclaimed, releasing her hold on Mana's wrist, "no more Angel."

"Here's to a successful mission." Mana resisted the urge to massage her wrist, reluctantly admitting that it certainly was more advantageous to having the psychopathic Devil Girl on side than not. <How does Shinji-kun put up with this barbarian?>

"And the death of all the stupid whores that stand in my way." Asuka added before stalking away with Hikari and Lina in tow. <Shinji, you better not be doing anything stupid.>

"Kirishima, we are leaving. Speed is of the essence." Rei said, having noticed the tardy behaviour of the green-eyed girl.

"Yeah, I'm coming." She called out before turning back to Asuka, her eye's staring daggers into the departing girl's back.

***

NERV Male Toilets - Validating Your Inherent Mistrust Of Strangers

"I'm too sexy for my shirt,"

Ryouji Kaji, Special Inspector for NERV, self-proclaimed ladies man and triple agent operating on behalf of SEELE and the Ministry of the Interior, opened the door to the Men's toilets to hear the unusual sound of Commander Gendou Ikari singing. "Uhhm, Commander Ikari?" Ryouji winced at the dreadful sound. <Is he injured? Maybe he's dying.>

"So sexxxy it hurrrts,"

Stepping inside, Ryouji attempted to mute as much of the noise as possible and moved to stand outside the only closed cubicle. "Sir?" He tentatively knocked on the closed door.

A sudden coughing fit resounded from inside the toilet. "Inspector Kaji?" Gendou inquired hastily, his voice resuming its deeper, more authorative tone. "What are you doing here?"

"Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki sent me with a delivery." Ryouji held his special delivery over the door, surprised at how quickly it was snatched from his grasp by the man inside.

Relieved that his former mentor had made sure to supply extra soft, double ply tissue, Gendou furiously began taking care of his unfinished business. "Where is the old coot?"

"He mentioned something about having some holiday time owed to him and said he was taking a leave of absence for a few days." Ryouji answered, recalling how anxious the older man had seemed and just how quickly he had departed once it had become apparent just who was attacking NERV.

The sound of a flushing toilet was followed by the appearance of Gendou, who walked past the younger man, pointedly ignoring his amused grin and began washing his hands. "Indeed. So what is happening?"

"Apparently we're under siege." Leaning back against the wall, Ryouji could feel another vibration rock the structure of the subterranean fortress. He clamped his hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter when the washbasin Gendou was using cracked and spilt water down the front of his trousers.

Ignoring the problem of his now soaked pants, Gendou speculated on the possible identity of the assailants. "It shouldn't be those meddling 'Do-Gooders' from Child Welfare, I sent them a photo of The Third Children playing 'Happy Families' with Major Katsuragi." Gendou hoped that proof that his son was living a carefree, idyllic existence would keep the bloodthirsty fiends at bay. He was getting sick and tired of their repeated attempts to kidnap one of his valuable resources. "Perhaps the old men of SEELE have decided to make their move. Their trust in me has obviously -"

<Actually it looked like Katsuragi was trying to 'start' a family with Shinji-kun.> Ryouji thought after seeing the photo in question. He remembered playing similar games with Misato back in college. "Uhh, it's not SEELE that are attacking Ikari." Ryouji informed him.

Drying his hands, Gendou looked curiously at the itinerant man. "Who then?"

"Replace 'Old Men of SEELE' with 'Young Girls of Tokyo-3' and you'll have a better grasp of how bad the situation actually is." Considering what Ryouji knew of the individuals that were presently laying waste to NERV, he decided that following Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's lead wasn't such a bad idea. Especially considering that Asuka and Misato had found out about the time he had jokingly hit on Shinji. Dodging bullets and giant fighting mecha was not how he envisaged spending the rest of his career.

Gendou paled, a noticeable sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Oh shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

***

Terminal Dogma - You Just Know Something's Going To Happen-Nyan

<'Stay the night'> Maya's words continued to echo in Shinji's head. "I'm pretty sure that Maya-san's apartment wasn't big enough to have two bedrooms. "Admittedly he hadn't seen enough of it to be entirely certain, but he doubted a young single woman would have a need for more than one bedroom. "But then Misato-san's single and her apartment has three bedrooms." He smiled, thinking that Maya obviously intended for him to use a spare room for his sleepover.

Walking along the sterile corridors, he took the opportunity to turn his secret weapon over in his hand, wondering just what would happen once he pulled the pin. Hooking his index finger in the ring pull, he contemplated the ramifications of activating the canister now and leaving for the relative safety of the surface.

"Shinji-kun!" An excited female voice screamed from further up along the corridor.

Shinji lifted his head and rubbed his eyes, not quite believing what he was seeing. "Ayanami? What are you doing down here?" He stared at the shirt Rei was wearing. A handprint over her breast with the words 'Shinji Was Here' emblazoned beneath it had him stop dead in his tracks. "There's apparently Angel's all…….."

"Shinji-kun!" From around another corridor, another familiar azure haired, pale skinned girl appeared. Smiling broadly, she waved at Shinji and began running towards him.

"over…….."

"Shinji-kun!" The all too familiar voice rang out from behind him. Looking back over his shoulder he spied the all too familiar form of Rei Ayanami.

"the ……"

"Shinji-kun!" Yet again, another smiling Rei appeared in his field of vision.

"place."

"Shinji-kun!" / "Shinji-kun!" / "Shinji-kun!" / "Shinji-kun!" / "Shinji-kun!" / "Shinji-kun!"

Slowly turning 360°, Shinji watched as Rei after Rei filled the corridors in all directions. All of them smiling and all of them rapidly closing in on him. "Ayanami's." He whispered, feeling dizzy at the sight. "So many Ayanami's." His legs began shaking and his heart began pounding loud enough to blot out all other noise. "And they're all smiling." He had to admit he liked that smile. "So beautiful." He watched the rapidly approaching hoard, waving at their approach. "Too………much." He said before losing consciousness to the excessive stimulation. The last thing he saw was the canister falling from his hand, the pin still lodged firmly around his finger. <Oh shit.>

***

"Ooooohhh." Shinji moaned, blinking slowly, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the strange lighting that filtered in through his eyes. He tried to clutch his head but found his arms wouldn't respond properly. Glancing at his wrists, he discovered the reason for their apparent reluctance to obey the directions of his central nervous system. "Why am I chained to a bed?" He tugged experimentally at the restraints, testing their strength and finding them more than a match for his own. "Why am I in a bed?" Glancing down, he realised with some alarm that he was apparently naked, his lower torso barely covered by a pink silk sheet. "Where is this place?" Looking around as much as his situation allowed, he noticed the room was lit by a series of low watt, pink lights creating a subdued, comfortable atmosphere.

"Shinji-kun, you're awake-nyan." Rei's familiar voice said from outside his line of sight.

"Nyan?" Shinji repeated, intrigued by the odd sounding word. Before he could ask any of the numerous questions that plagued his thoughts, a shadow fell over his prone body, prompting him to look up. "Aya……….nami??"

***

End Sixth Mistake

Tbc???

Authors Post-Self Loathing -

What awaits our hapless (witless, helpless?) hero? Don't ask me. I don't have a clue. I'm sure most of you know just what 'Nyan' implies. If you don't, you're not watching enough anime. I'm confident that Bill Riddle knows exactly what is going on. ;) (I'm working on the promised Shinji / Mana fic, I swear.)

As always, post your flames, hate mail and abuse here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other death threats etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Ja Ne