Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Someday Somewhere ❯ Fifth Mistake ( Chapter 5 )

Evangelion Parody Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

Non-Standard Disclaimer.

Mine?!?

If it was, I sincerely doubt that Rei and Shinji would continually appear in Japan's Top Ten Female / Male Anime Heroines / Hero's month after month. But it probably explains why we write EVA Fanfiction though. Anno-san left us all wondering by carefully avoiding the issue of romantic involvement to any serious degree (That and the GAINAX Team managed to create one the all time greatest stories ever). Probably explains why the Girlfriend of Steel 2 game was so popular. Still trying to appreciate the Manga adaptation artwork though.

Personally I feel they should have expanded it more like the RahXephon PS2 game. Ayato is able to link up with practically any female cast member in the anime. I'm kind of addicted to it at the moment. That and Komugi-chan no Happy Cake on GBA. It's sad, but then it keeps me as stable as I can be [Not Very!].

Author's Pre-Self Loathing -

I am trying to get over the whole self-hate binge I continue to indulge and wallow in, but the X-Mas time of the year tends to make me even more melancholy and self-critical/analytical than I otherwise normally am.

My friends and family tend to hide any sharp objects during the festive season. They never let me forget about the scars on my wrists.

Someday Somewhere

Fifth Mistake - Who Are You and Why Is You're Hand There?

Recess - Where You Can Take Time to Publicly Humiliate Yourself

For most students unjustly, or so they would insist, incarcerated by the education system, lunch offered a brief dip into the ocean of freedom, away from the relentless and merciless machine whose sole purpose was the eradication of individual thought, freedom and personal sense of identity.

Normally, even for a student as indifferent and mediocre as Shinji Ikari, the one-hour interlude separating morning and afternoon classes held untold possibilities. Admittedly most of those possibilities centred on his two friends rating the developing bodies of the female students against their ideal woman, Misato Katsuragi. Their personal obsession with his former guardian and commanding officer never ceased to amaze him.

Shinji felt sure that Misato would be pleased to know that thus far no one had come close to eclipsing her status as Tokyo-3's resident Goddess, at least with Touji and Kensuke. He couldn't really begrudge his friends their adolescent fantasies, although he did wonder just how Misato would react the next time that the two boys decided to show up at her apartment poorly disguised as himself and Pen Pen. If her last reaction was anything to go by, the next EVA training session would involve Touji, Kensuke and live ammunition for Unit 02's pallet rifle.

He knew Misato was truly upset when she started seriously considering any suggestions formally submitted by Asuka. At his last count, Asuka had requested that Touji and Kensuke be allowed to participate in her combat training sessions on no fewer than two hundred and twelve occasions. He had only had to talk Misato out of allowing it to proceed a few times, but each time he had to up the ante in persuading her against the decision to allow Asuka to use his friends for target practice.

<The things I have to do to keep my friends alive.> He mused to himself, wondering what Misato would want from him next time the situation demanded he save his friends from their own hormonal stupidity.

Today however, those self-same friends had decided to abandon him in favour of spicy Mexican junk food, leaving him to fend for himself. Normally on days when he was left to his own devices, he would simply find an isolated location to relax and listen to his SDAT and watch the clouds drift by. Unfortunately, or so he thought, he was not left alone to enjoy the peace and serenity of the occasion. Far from it in fact. His diverse assortment of companions had his internal warning system operating in a feverish state encouraging him to implement any and every facet of his well-honed survival skills.

The Shinji Ikari guidebook to self-defence was short, concise and fairly easy to implement.

Excerpt from the Shinji Ikari Hedgehog Survival Guide
Avoid conflict by accepting blame and/or fault whenever possible.
Amendment A
Do not allow Misato to trick you into wearing whipped cream as an alternative to an apology.
Amendment B
Use extreme caution when apologising to Asuka.
Amendment C
'That Time of the Month' Alert Protocol. Run. Run very fast and very far away.

"Baka! Listen to me when I'm talking to you." The abrupt, irritated voice broke Shinji from his trance-like state forcing his spiralling introspection to an immediate halt.

Bowing his head, Shinji glanced slightly in his roommate's direction; unable to lift his eyes to meet what he knew would be Asuka's imperious gaze. For some reason that look had the same effect on his mental state as Rei's quizzical tilt of her head did or Mana's not-so innocent laugh. In fact the more he thought about it, he realised he actually suffered similarly to Hikari's gentle smile and Misato's erratic yet generous nature. Even Maya's soft, shy voice and Ritsuko's exasperated sighing affected his psychological equilibrium. He only hoped it was something he would eventually grow out of once puberty was done him. His inability to resist the request of practically any female was a source of constant frustration that always had him on edge. He couldn't be entirely sure, but he somehow felt that this weakness was being exploited more often than not.

"Gomen Asuka." The apology was spoken almost on instinct in a vain attempt to stave off the girl's fury. For some inexplicable reason, his deferential attitude only seemed to antagonise her further. He had in fact given some thought to how Asuka would react if he did stand up for himself. Or as he had daydreamed about, stood up to her. For some reason all he could envisage was himself resembling his Father and the image didn't sit well with him at all.

"Talking 'AT' him you mean." Mana remarked waspishly. Her eyes drifted to Shinji's other side, narrowing at what she saw. Rei had positioned herself next to Shinji, preventing the three Hayashibara sisters from having easy access to the young boy. Deciding to let the albino wage that particular battle, Mana launched the first salvo's of her own campaign by shuffling just a little bit closer towards Shinji

Her not-so subtle ploy attracted the attention of the nervously subdued boy and he glanced up briefly to find Mana smiling broadly at him, her emerald eyes sparkling with barely restrained mischief. The fragrance of her perfume gradually enveloped his olfactory senses, hinting at something exotic and spicy. Shinji felt his face begin to warm considerably under the young girl's inviting gaze and her surreptitious wink caused him to cough uncomfortably.

"No one asked you Kirishima." Asuka retorted, ruthlessly stabbing a tempura fried shrimp out of Hikari's bento. She in no way appreciated the underhanded manner in which the supposedly former espionage agent was attempting to seduce the dim light bulb that was Baka Shinji. The presence of Wonder Girl, who was simply resting against Shinji's side, only exacerbated the indecent travesty.

Mana grinned deviously at Asuka. Turning back to Shinji, she feigned panic and lunged at the boy, catching him completely off-guard. Pressing her self against his chest, she settled herself into his lap, momentarily allowing herself to enjoy the shared intimacy of the moment. Forcing herself to forgo the decision of taking Shinji right there, she instead opted for subtlety. "Shinji, are you going to let this foreign devil talk to your girlfriend like that?" Mana pleaded, ignoring the startled expression on Shinji's face and instead snuggled even closer against him.

"GIRLFRIEND?!?" Several voices exclaimed in unison, causing a nearby sparrow to fall from its perch.

Sniffing at Asuka's continued impertinence, Mana decided it was high time to establish her claim. The first step towards attaining what was rightfully hers meant discarding her earlier alliance with the Red Headed Bitch. "We have gone an a few dates," She explained, her voice now coy and slightly embarrassed, "and we even visited an onsen together." Mana's eyes glowed maliciously as she delivered her coup de grace. "It was soooo romantic and intimate with just the two of us. Alone and naked in the hot, steamy water."

The panic stricken mass that was Shinji wondered if it was possible to die as a result of having numerous girls glaring murderously in his direction. Swallowing slowly, he prepared to explain the situation in a way that would allow him to survive for at least another five minutes, although it was difficult with an extremely attractive young woman resting on his lap and another leaning against his side.

For once, fortune smiled down on the young hedgehog, deciding to alleviate his current predicament.

Shinji's cell phone beeped, notifying the small cluster of obviously frustrated females and the lone, petrified male that his presence was required elsewhere.

Glancing at the screen display, Shinji read the message that was flashing. "I'm needed at NERV." Struggling to conceal his relief, he smiled apologetically at the young ladies who in turn were frozen in a variety of combat stances as they prepared to launch their individual assaults against each other. "I'm sorry I didn't get to eat much of the lunch you prepared Hikari-san," His smile brightened slightly as he looked at the now completely flustered young brunette. "But what I did eat was delicious. You're extremely talented Hikari-san." Finishing his farewells and finally convincing Mana and Rei to allow him to leave, Shinji turned and left to locate the nearest NERV Security Team that would undoubtedly be waiting to transport him to Headquarters.

With the prize having departed, the girls settled back down to finish their lunch, warily observing each other, preparing for an attack from any and all directions. Ultimately it was Rei, after a quiet moment of reflection, who voiced what was nagging at the back of their minds. "Why was Ikari-kun the only one ordered to report to Headquarters?" Only a select few individuals would have detected the simmering rage behind her blank façade as her eyes lingered on the spot where Shinji had sat beside her.

***

NERV Headquarters - Where Other People Can Take Time To Humiliate You

"Major Katsuragi, I've had the Third Children as ordered." The attractive, dark haired Section 2 agent displayed a satisfied smirk of contentment while spinning a set of handcuffs around her index finger. "I mean," She feigned a small degree of embarrassment at her faux pax while saluting the indigo haired Major; "I have the Third Children as ordered." Although her crisp salute spoke of rigid discipline, the smirk however, remained firmly set on her face, declaring something else entirely.

Misato inclined her head towards the woman while placing a firm grip on Shinji's shoulder. "Thank you, I'll take it from here." She managed to say between clenched teeth, drawing Shinji to her side.

"Later, Pilot Ikari." The agent whispered, winking suggestively at the boy who was still trying to encourage the circulation back in to his hands by massaging his slightly bruised wrists.

Somehow Shinji knew that it was spoken more as a promise than as a generalised farewell. "Uhhm …………okay." He replied, wincing at the pressure of Misato's fingernails digging into his flesh. The aura his former Guardian was radiating informed him she was far from happy about something.

"Shinji-kun, follow me." Misato ordered before simply dragging the young Pilot along a series of hallways and passages. Every now and then stopping to look around, gauging the best course to take.

Having experienced first hand Misato's less than intimate knowledge of NERV HQ's layout, Shinji suddenly despaired of ever seeing the light of day again. Shaking himself out of thoughts of being lost and isolated inside the Geo-Front with only the attractive Director of Tactical Operations for company, Shinji posed the question that had been lingering in the back of his mind since he had received the phone call earlier. "What's the matter Misato-san? Is an Angel attacking?"

Looping her arm around the boy's shoulders, Misato drew him even closer, pressing one of her breasts against his face. "We're not entirely certain what's happening. Ritsu-chan mentioned something about a disturbance in the lower levels of Dogma and that it was necessary to have you brought in." Misato had immediately agreed with the Chief Scientists suggestion. She preferred having Shinji where she could keep an eye on him and protect him from the nefarious forces that were aligned against him and constantly trying to harm him. Shinji was naïve to the wicked ways of the world and his often subdued and melancholy expression only further encouraged her to keep him by her side. At least that was the official explanation. The unofficial explanation was something Misato hoped to get started on as soon as humanly possible.

Trying his best to ignore the pleasant, soft mass resting against his cheek, Shinji finally noticed that they had yet to encounter any other NERV Personnel in their convoluted travels. "Just me? What about Asuka and Ayanami?" Shinji didn't hear what Misato mumbled as she quickly ushered him into a nearby elevator. "Misato-san?" Shinji blinked as his former guardian gently pushed him back against the rear of the elevator, effectively cutting off any possibility of escape.

"Going down." Misato murmured her voice low and husky and her eye's smouldering as she advanced on the young boy who was still struggling with his sense of common decency and his teenage hormones.

***

Ritsuko looked up from her data console, brushing back a few stray blonde locks that had drifted across her face. "Misato? Where have you been?" Her eyes narrowed at the dishevelled state of the woman's clothes and her voice suddenly developed a more accusatory pitch. "And what took you so long?" Her keen eyes immediately spotted the extremely smug look of euphoria on her friend's face and the slightly bewildered expression that Shinji sported. The fact that the top two buttons on Shinji's school shirt were missing did not escape her notice either.

"We had some," Misato paused, making a deliberate spectacle of straightening her skirt and jacket, "difficulty in the elevator, but we managed to work things out eventually." Her eyes sparkled with unsuppressed glee as she glanced at her young companion. "Didn't we Shinji-kun?"

Shinji could only manage to nod his head, unsure if he could actually formulate words at the moment. He did however; subconsciously reaffirm the presence of the belt holding his trousers up.

Biting back on the stinging rebuke she dearly wished to unleash upon the impudent Major, Ritsuko instead opted to steer her friend's thoughts towards the problem at hand. "We've managed to contain them to a degree by flooding the surrounding corridors with Bakelite." With a display of her prodigious typing skills, Ritsuko transferred a series of internal layouts onto the main holographic display screen. "The problem is it's not stopping them, only slowing them down."

Shinji swallowed nervously. In his opinion one Blue Pattern was one more than absolutely necessary. Unfortunately from what he could see, there were quite a few blue blips appearing on screen. "Them?" He said incredulously, his eyes wide at Ritsuko's calmly delivered statement.

Smiling in as comforting a manner as she could manage in a hope to somehow reassure the boy, Ritsuko rested a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed, intending to calm him down. "Yes. As far as we can tell there's somewhere in the order of about thirty blue patterns detected. Possibly more." As Shinji continued to stare dumb-founded at the screen, Ritsuko seized the opportunity and allowed her hand to wander down his back, caressing his shoulder blades through his shirt. Her small smile quickly developed a distinct lecherous appearance at how the firm and toned young flesh felt beneath the fabric.

Glaring at her friend's wandering hand; Misato pinched it, eliciting a wince of shock and anger from the scientist. "What do you mean 'possibly more'?" Misato asked, moving to stand at Shinji's other shoulder. "What do the MAGI have to say about it?"

Still rubbing the hand where Misato had pinched her, Ritsuko walked to a nearby table and picked up a package. "The MAGI are experiencing some problems at the moment. I'll run a complete system diagnostic when I have the opportunity. Right now I need Shinji-kun to get ready."

"Ready?" Throughout the entire drama thus far, Shinji had felt a nagging sensation that something was about to change in his life. Drastically so. "What's going on Ritsuko-san?" He didn't really expect an answer. At least not an answer he would be able to understand. Ritsuko's explanations often left him more confused than before he had actually asked the question.

"I'll answer your questions while you get changed." Ritsuko offered, throwing the package at Shinji. "Here, you'll need this." Leaning back against the desk, she retrieved her coffee cup and took a sip, her emerald eyes never wavering from the boy before her.

Unwrapping the package, Shinji stared at the contents that lay within. "This isn't my normal Plug Suit." He said, holding the suit up to inspect it. His preliminary examination only further unsettled him as he noted that while it appeared to be modelled on the male Plug Suit, it was missing a great deal of material.

"No, it isn't." Ritsuko agreed, the small smile she normally used broadened considerably. "This one has been modified to provide you with the greatest chance of survival."

Misato shook her head, clearing the visions of Shinji wearing the heavily modified Plug Suit from her mind. "Survival? What do you think you're doing with my Shin-chan Doctor Akagi?" She demanded.

Ritsuko sighed. She had suspected that Misato would be difficult about things, but then the woman always acted contrary where Shinji was concerned. "Making sure he makes it back." She answered, hoping to soothe the savage beast that lurked beneath Misato's glamorous exterior. "I won't have my holiday ruined because of those little vixens." She muttered into her coffee mug.

"Holiday? Vixens?" Misato frowned as she tried to understand her best friend's curious words. "What are you talking about Ritsu-chan?"

"Never mind." Ritsuko coughed. "It's nothing." She assured Misato. Her eyes wandered back to Shinji who was still standing there staring at his latest garment. "Hurry up Shinji-kun. We don't have all day." She chided the boy, drawing an apologetic look of surprise out of the youth.

// - Meanwhile in Ritsuko's Mind - //

// Chibi-Ritsuko presses a button, releasing a deadly Neuro-toxin into the Entry Plugs of Unit 00 and 02, effectively eliminating their respective Chibi-Pilots. //

Glancing around, Shinji realised that there were no obvious places to go to change into his new outfit. "What? Here? Right now?" He looked back at both Ritsuko and Misato, who he noticed were watching him with more than just cursory interest. "You want me to change right here?"

"Shinji-kun. I'm your Doctor." Ritsuko immediately assumed an air of intellectual indifference. "I have seen everything before. If you'd like, I'll have Misa-chan leave the room if it would make you more comfortable." Without waiting for his response, Ritsuko began herding Misato towards the door, ignoring the woman's vehement protests.

// While a distraught Chibi-Misato frantically tries to check if Chibi-Shinji is still alive, Chibi-Ritsuko seizes the opportunity to inject her 'Dearest and Oldest Chibi-Friend' with a slightly more virulent strain of the same toxin. //

Gripping the doorframe, Misato stared menacingly at her colleague. "I'm not budging one iota, Ritsu-chan." Her eyes flickered over Ritsuko's shoulder to Shinji, who was simply watching the display of feminine conflict with confusion and curiosity. "Hurry up and indulge the perverted old woman Shinji-kun." Misato pleaded, hoping Shinji would acquiesce as he normally did and begin removing his clothing.

Before he could answer one way or the other, Ritsuko rammed the sharp point of her high heeled shoe straight onto Misato's foot and while the indigo haired woman was momentarily off-guard from the pain, she shoved her outside and closed the door. "As his Doctor, I'm afraid I'll have to insist Major Katsuragi." To ensure that she would be uninterrupted, Ritsuko activated the security over-rides that only she had the access codes to.

// After releasing an air-borne variant through NERV's ventilation system (specifically engineered to kill anything not Shinji Ikari or Ritsuko Akagi) Chibi-Ritsuko ejects the entry from Unit 01. //

The sound of Misato emptying her firearm into the reinforced plating resounded from outside. "I'll be right outside Doctor Akagi." Misato's muffled declaration followed shortly after. "I know how long it takes for Shinji to get out of his clothes." She added. "I'll be watching the clock."

Satisfied that Misato was unable to gain entry to the room, Ritsuko turned back towards Shinji, who to his credit, had not rolled up into a foetal position and started whimpering. "Yes, do whatever you want." She whispered, removing her glasses and flicking her short, blonde hair back. "Why are you still dressed Shinji-kun?" Ritsuko asked playfully, quickly discarding her lab coat. "Here, let me assist you." She offered generously, striding purposely over to the now heavily perspiring youth.

// Grabbing a set of matching Chibi 'His & Her' Cat Suits from her office, Chibi-Ritsuko made her way to the EVA Cages to greet the only other surviving employee and get the celebration party started. //

***

Tokyo-3 MunicipalHigh School- Too Many Freaks, Not Enough Circuses

Asuka slowly surveyed the assembled group. Every fibre of her being screamed that by allying herself with them, regardless of the circumstances, she was somehow conceding that she needed them. Suppressing her competitive instincts, she cleared her mind, focusing on the outcome instead of the method she was utilising to achieve it. "Are we agreed?"

With a single nod, the collective acknowledged their agreement to the plan they were about to implement. "Yes." They answered as one.

Satisfied that she was effectively in charge of things, Asuka looked down the corridor at the two key elements required for her scenario to develop appropriately. "Okay. Everyone stick to the plan and we'll be out of here and at NERV HQ before you can say 'Shinji Ikari-Sohryu'."

Walking past the self-satisfied redhead, Rei provided the answer that was on the lips of each girl present. "I do not believe that those words will ever be uttered outside of your own personal fantasies Pilot Sohryu."

"What? It sounds perfectly natural to me." Ignoring the dark comments, promises of divine retribution and generalised threats being directed at her, Asuka purposely began striding towards her intended targets.

Moving up beside her, Hikari glanced nervously at her friend, trying to read past the façade that Asuka often wore . "Uhhm ……. Is it really necessary to do this?" She asked, still unsure about the strategy they were about to employ. Her standing as Class Representative was an aspect of her personality that made it difficult for her to condone what the volatile young girl had in mind, let alone actively participate.

"Lighten up Horaki?" Mana said, moving into position beside the Class Representative. "Look. We need a reason to get out of class and the 'Idiot Duo' up ahead are going to assist us." She explained all the while keeping a close eye on the three sisters that had unexpectedly decided to help out. Mana had originally calculated that the two EVA Pilots would be her only real opposition when the time came to decide who claimed the spoils of the upcoming conflict. She had deemed the Class Representative too inexperienced to pose any real threat and had dismissed her from the equation. The triplets were another matter altogether. Even Rei appeared cautious around them, implying that they were more formidable than they appeared. The former spy didn't like unknowns in her equation. She would have to gage for herself how best to deal with them when the opportunity presented itself.

Still uncertain, Hikari began to have second thoughts about the whole arrangement. "But -" Her protest was cut short by Asuka.

"Just do it, okay Hikari?" Asuka hissed, trying to control and direct her anger for what was to come. The fire that often simmered behind her azure eyes roared into an inferno.

***

Most 'mere males', while ignorant of a great many things occurring around them, especially those not associated with sex, sport and food, possess an uncanny 'Sixth Sense' when it comes to their impending doom at the hands of a woman.

Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida were no different, even though their adolescent hormones often interfered with any such warnings. Having sated their appetite for greasy cafeteria junk food, both boys were strolling leisurely back to class, intent on seeing what remained of their quiet, unassuming friend. While envious that Shinji had been granted the opportunity to eat lunch with a group of attractive girls, they nevertheless pitied him for the type of girl the poor boy attracted.

Shivering as a cold chill ran the length of his spine; Kensuke looked at his athletic companion to find he also sported a similar cold sweat and appeared to have difficulty breathing. "Hey Touji, I don't feel too good." Staring at his hand, he suddenly began to lose focus as his vision blurred. Much akin to when he wasn't using his glasses.

Touji wiped his brow. "Maybe we shouldn't have had that twelfth helping." Even with his prodigious appetite, the tall jock had considered the consequences of over-indulging in the spicy food, but had come to the conclusion that he was only young once and had to make the most of it while he could.

Shaking his head, Kensuke felt an ominous presence settle around both he and Touji and knew from experience that it had nothing to do with the after-effects of an 'Enchilada Frenzy'. "No, it's not that. This feels kinda like……." He paused, struggling to describe the impression of absolute fear he was being overwhelmed by. Blinking a couple of times, he looked down and saw numerous shadows consume the floor at his feet. Turning slowly, he swallowed, the noise audible in the not-so empty hallway. His eyes lifted from the floor to stare at the owners of the shadows. "Like we're in really deep shi-"

Kensuke's words were silenced by a vicious hook to his mid-section. Watching his small friend crumple to the floor, Touji decided to go down fighting, like the man he often proclaimed himself to be. Unfortunately, his male posturing was not backed up by anything resembling true ability as a heel clipped his jaw, sending him careening into the wall. Before he lost consciousness, his last sight was of several girls surrounding both himself and his fallen friend. "Oh fu-." He managed to mutter, despite the pain of a potentially fractured jaw, before he descended into a world of pain and suffering that few have ever known or experienced.

[The Author has deleted the obviously unnecessary sequence involving the brutal abuse suffered by Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida at the hands of Class 2-A's Female Elite. Instead, we offer the pleasant sounds of whales and dolphins frolicking off the sun-kissed shores of Tropical North Queensland. Please Enjoy. We will return to the regularly scheduled programming as soon as possible.]

As an educational instructor in one of the most technologically advanced cities in the world, Sensei Ohgami had arrived at the conclusion that regardless of the day and age, students everywhere were the same. He had begun suspecting that some of his charges in 2-A were not really taking his lessons seriously anymore. "I mean, look at this." His index finger pushed a crudely fabricated cardboard cut-out of one of his pupils over. "In my day, if a student wanted to skip class, we at least went to the effort of making a reasonable facsimile of ourselves." Shaking his head, he wandered back to the front of the classroom, despairing for the future of the human species. "No sense of the appropriate." He muttered to himself.

"Excuse me Sensei." Hikari said politely. With the Sensei's attention, the pretty Class Representative motioned to her side as Asuka and Rei ruthlessly flung the battered, limp bodies of two unrecognisable lumps of human flesh onto the floor. "It appears that Suzuhara-kun and Aida-kun have injured themselves on the way back to class." A large sweatdrop appeared at the back of Hikari's head as Mana knelt down and injected something into the still moaning form of Kensuke, silencing his beleaguered cries. "I've organised some of the other students to help me carry them to the Nurses Office." Hikari added hastily, indicating that the assembled part of young girls were offering their services to aid and assist their fellow students.

Nodding at the eloquent speech, Sensei Ohgami felt a stream of tears begin to dampen his cheeks. "Very well Class Representative Horaki. It's a pleasure seeing someone so young take an active, responsible interest in the care of others." He smiled warmly at his students, relieved that there was hope buried at the bottom of Pandora's Box.

Bowing in gratitude, Hikari quickly and efficiently organised the transport of their unwitting and now unconscious helpers. "Thank you Sensei."

Grabbing Touji's ankle, Asuka simply dragged the jock out the door, heedless of the additional injuries her callous treatment was inflicting on the nearly dead boy. Meanwhile, Mana, Rei and the three Hayashibara sisters had initiated a complex game of Jan-Ken-Pon to decide who would be the unlucky individual to actually touch Kensuke.

Mana glared at her offending hand gripped into a tight fist. Her bright, emerald eyes shifted to stare venomously at the four open hands on show around her. "Best two out of three?"

"You have lost Kirishima." A brief smile flashed across the pale features of Rei's face. Only those that knew her would have noticed the subtle change in her facial characteristics. "I can only suggest you make use of an industrial strength cleanser once you have finished moving Aida's body." Rei advised clinically, moving past the brunette and out into the hallway.

"This is all your fault." Mana growled, directing her fury at the prone form at her feet. With a degree of distaste, she ignored the feeling of nausea and began nudging Kensuke along with her foot. Each well placed boot eliciting a grunt from the still unconscious youth. "Now I'm going to have top burn theses shoes." She punctuated her statement with another well placed kick. "And I really liked them too."

***

Hurling the battered bodies of Touji and Kensuke into the Janitor's closet, Asuka looked at her hands and cringed as she valiantly tried to wipe away the grime from having touched them. Sighing in defeat, she straightened herself and turned to face her colleagues. "Okay, now that that's taken care of, let's go see what Baka Shinji's doing." Locking the door, she broke the key in the lock and began walking towards the nearest exit, plans of how she would celebrate her eventual victory taking shape in her mind.

Moving swiftly to catch up, Hikari glanced back over her shoulder at the door where her two classmates were now resting peacefully. "Will they be all right like that Asuka?"

Asuka shrugged. "Why are you asking me? I don't care."

"They'll be fine Horaki." Mana added. "There's a ventilation panel in the closet, so it's not like they'll suffocate." She neglected to inform the class representative that the panel was mostly clogged with filth and grime. Similar to Asuka, she really didn't care one way or the other what happened to the two boys. Her mind was focussed on how to utilise her current situation to her benefit.

"No great loss if they did." Asuka replied, laughing darkly at the image of Touji and Kensuke's corpses.

"We should hurry if we are to locate Ikari-kun." Lina, the eldest of the Hayashibara sisters stated. The trio had kept quiet during most of their most recent escapade. Initially, their primary purpose was to locate the target and as soon as possible, capture and transfer him back to Rei Headquarters for the mass celebration that was being prepared in his honour. This had been discarded as the three clones now realised that the opportunity to have Shinji all for themselves was a distinct possibility. Her other siblings, Tomoko and Momiji, both nodded their agreement at their sister's sound reasoning.

"You were not invited." Rei directed at the transfer students. She had warily kept an eye on her sister's, wondering just how many of the 'Spare Parts' had successfully activated. Her practical analysis was already anticipating the worst case scenario that all of them were now awake.

"Whoa. Wonder Girl's actually pissed at someone." Asuka could not disguise or hide her amazement at her primary rival's almost unprecedented display of emotion. Her eyes carefully inspected the four girls, noting the similarities between the identical triplets and the blue haired albino. "You know, it's almost like -."

"Hello Sohryu-san." An amused voice interrupted. "I see you haven't really changed all that much."

"Huh?" Asuka spun around to face the newest distraction. "Angel Girl?" Her eyes widened in confusion at the sight of the casually dressed girl with her large spectacles and long, black hair. "When did you get back?" The last she had seen of Mayumi Yamagishi was watching her depart Tokyo-3 after they had discovered that she was in fact, the core for the Angel of Illusion.

"Today." Mayumi answered. Her face turned to the two other girls of the group that she knew. "Hello Ayanami-san, Horaki-inchou." She bowed politely before turning to regard the other members that she was unfamiliar with. "Hello. My name is Mayumi Yamagishi. Pleased to meet you."

Rei simply nodded her head, acknowledging Mayumi's unexpected arrival.

"Yamagishi-san!" Hikari exclaimed, surprised at the girl's sudden appearance. "What brings you back to Tokyo-3?" Hikari wasn't aware of the truth behind the bookish girl's departure, only that she had left after a series of disturbing Angel Attacks that had put the city on edge even more than it generally was.

"I left something very important here when I left last time." Blushing at what it was exactly that she had returned to reclaim, Mayumi smiled impishly. "I simply returned to claim it."

***

End Fifth Mistake

Tbc???

Authors Post-Self Loathing -

This isn't the end, but I need some time away from things. Look for my eventual return (I think) sometime early in 2004.

In case I don't make it back (Please stop applauding), I'd like to take the opportunity to thank all the wonderful but terribly insane individuals that have followed my very brief foray into Fanfiction writing. There's been quite a few who have left some interesting and entertaining comments that have prompted me to soldier on, regardless of my phenomenal lack of talent. Oh well, back to Full Metal Panic Fumoffu and Da Capo for me.

Happy Everything Mina-san!

As always, post your flames, hate mail and abuse here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other death threats etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Ja Ne