Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The Nephilim Complex ❯ Through the Darkness ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter Six: Through the Darkness

'It is an odd sensation to see yourself through your own eyes...' Shinji thought to himself as he looked around the darkened space that was threatening to consume him. 'One that I did not really want to have again.'

"Change will bring about change," a soft, calming voice said beside him. Looking down, he reached out and grasped the young girl's hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. "I'm sorry, brother."

"What happened to you, Nephilim?" he asked, feeling oddly calm. He had expected to burst into tears or break down upon seeing her again... but all he had was a great emptiness. "Where did you go? Why did you leave me?"

"It was not my choice, brother," she replied sadly. "I would have been happier staying by your side for the rest of your life," she explained.

"I'm starting to think you won't have missed much," he said, shaking his head. "I doubt it will last a lot longer. And then we can be together again, sister."

Nephilim pulled him down to her level with more strength than he had thought her small form held. "We can't be together again, Shinji Ikari, brother of mine." She looked deep into his blue eyes with her sharp red ones, and he saw the hurt that was there. "He said that I can't visit you anymore, though I can speak with you, and warn you of the Angels. He said it was only fair."

"Who's controlling you, Nephilim?" Shinji asked after a moment, taking a hold of both her shoulders in his hands. As soon as he touched her, she vanished, leaving the shimmering white dress in his hands again. As he looked at the fabric slowly, he saw his tears hitting it. Where his tears struck, great holes appeared, and slowly his world dissolved into them.

When the boy could see again, he found himself in another black room without anything else. After a moment, he had to correct his first thought. There were two other objects in the room.

Or rather, people.

"You hurt Ikari!"

"You're a worthless doll!"

Shinji walked over to the two slowly, and stood between them with more strength than he felt he really had. He expected at least one of them to yell at him, but neither seemed to pay him any heed.

"I have asked you many times to cease calling me as such. I am not a doll, and I will prove that fact to you in the future. I just do not know how to go about changing," Rei said, her voice flat despite her words.

"You are a doll, First!" Asuka replied angrily. "That's all you've ever been. You do whatever anyone tells you to do, and never fight back, never question anything. If the Commander told you to try to stop traffic with your bare hands, you probably would try it!"

"No." Rei's voice was suddenly hard and cold.

Asuka actually smiled at the girl suddenly. "No?" she asked. "Actually standing up for yourself, are you now?" She shook her head. "Maybe you aren't just a doll. But mere words to me aren't going to prove anything!"

"You are still avoiding the issue," Rei pointed out after a moment, her voice wavering angrily. "You betrayed Ikari, and nearly lead to his destruction."

"What's your point?"

Rei slapped Asuka suddenly, her hand passing clear through Shinji as though he wasn't even there. "After everything that he has been through for you... you still want to hurt him? I should make the formal request to have him moved into my apartment with me, instead. At least then I would be assured that you couldn't hurt him again."

"I didn't mean to!" Asuka shouted, and immediately covered her mouth as though she hadn't meant to say it. After a moment of silence, she repeated herself in softer tones. "I didn't mean to hurt him. But Kaji..."

"Kaji thinks even less of you than I do, Pilot Soryu," Rei said darkly.

"And since when have you developed emotions and thoughts of your own?" Asuka demanded, slapping her in return.

Shinji took a step back, not entirely sure what he could do to stop what he was seeing. As soon as he was no longer between the two, they both turned to him. He took a step back in shock when he saw Rei's pale breasts, and looked down further to see the soft hairs covering her crotch. He looked up again at once, not sure why she wasn't wearing anything in front of him suddenly, and then chanced a glance at Asuka.

He wasn't sure if he was happy or upset that she was still fully clothed.

"So how about it, Shinji?"

"Yes, Ikari, please answer our questions."

"Wh..." Shinji began, trying to back up again, but finding himself against a wall as the two girls closed in towards him. "What do you mean? What questions?"

"Am I truly a doll, or am I my own person?" Rei asked. He was shocked by the tears that were in the girl's eyes suddenly, and swallowed deeply before looking to Asuka.

"And do you believe that I meant to hurt you?" Asuka asked. "And can you believe me when I tell you that I won't break your trust again?"

"I... don't know," he whispered, looking down. As soon as he did so, he saw Rei out of the corner of his eye again, and looked up quickly, and found himself staring at the unfamiliar ceiling of the hospital again.

When he looked back to Rei and Asuka, they were both waiting for a different answer. "Can you trust her again?" Rei asked, pointing to Asuka. "Are you willing to take that chance? What if she betrays you again? Could you continue living, or would I lose you as well?"

"I can't answer that, Rei," Shinji whispered. He was surprised as she suddenly wrapped her arms about him, and pressed herself up against him firmly, rubbing against him.

"Good," she whispered. Before he could stop her, she had leaned up and was kissing him fully on the lips, forcing her tongue into his mouth, searching around inside him. Almost as soon as it had started, it was over again, and Shinji found himself holding thin air.

Rei had vanished, and Asuka was standing there, as though still waiting for something. It was as though she hadn't even noticed what had just happened. "Is she a doll?" she whispered to him. He shook his head slowly, and she almost smiled to him. "I didn't think so. Not anymore..."

He found himself really wishing he could figure out what was going on as she wrapped her arms around him as well. After a moment, he returned the embrace, and felt her lean into him, resting her head on his chest. Deciding to test his luck and courage, he slowly moved his hands down until he was pressing against her ass. When she didn't respond, he pulled up her dress just enough to slip his hands beneath it and ran his hands across from bare skin, pushing her panties aside to do so.

Still no response.

"Are you willing to give me a chance at gaining your trust again?" she whispered into his ear as she stepped on her tiptoes. He looked to her quickly, but found her gone suddenly as well, leaving him alone in the darkness once more.

"These aren't truly your desires, are they?" Nephilim's voice caused him to spin around, but he found she was no where in sight. "Most boys would wish for such circumstances, but you don't want that to happen, do you?"

"What's going on?" he whispered, clasping the cross of the necklace around his neck firmly in one of his hands. "Sister, can you tell me what's happening?"

"Can you tell me if you can trust Asuka?" she replied instead of answering his question.

Shinji bowed his head and sighed. "No, I can't. But you seem to. You seem to trust her right now more than me, if you are appearing before her."

"I would much rather have appeared to you again," her voice was sadder than he ever remembered hearing it before. "But if the only way I can contact you is through others, then there is nothing wrong with Asuka."

"Can I trust her again?"

"She will not betray you a second time."

Before Shinji could reply, he suddenly found his eyes filled with light, and he blinked rapidly. The ceiling above his bed came into focus slowly, and he took a deep breath as he rolled his head to the side. His clock was blinking 6:00 a.m.

[It will come from the one you least suspect.]

"What?" he asked the empty room. When he did not receive the reply he was hoping for, he groaned and sat up, rubbing his face to try and remove some of the sleep from his body. Another day had started. Misato wanted them down at NERV early today. But he had to do something else, first. She would have to drive on her own, and he would walk.

But he had to talk with Asuka first.

The knock on his door startled him. He didn't have to be up for another hour still... looking over to his clock, it now read 7:15. He pulled the door open to find a very official looking Misato, dressed in full uniform.

"What's with the get up today?" he asked, trying to divert her attention away from the fact that he wasn't ready.

"Ritsuko suggested I look proper today for some reason," Misato said with a shrug. "As if I don't always..." She looked at him and saw that he was still wearing his pajamas. "Why aren't you ready yet? And is Asuka up and about yet?"

"I doubt it," he replied with a sigh. "Look, you go on ahead. I'll wake her and we can walk to headquarters once she's ready."

"You aren't ready either, Shinji," Misato said with a grin.

"You think I'll take half as long as she will?" he asked in response, looking away from her.

Misato shook her head and sighed. "You know she's not going to be happy walking, right?" When Shinji nodded, she turned. "Well, so long as you don't kill each other, you'll be fine. I expect you there by ten at the latest, though. I can't stall any longer than that, so make sure you get her moving!"

As Misato left the apartment, Shinji closed the door to his room slowly as he stepped into the hall. He swallowed deeply, remembering the dream and just what he had done with both Rei and Asuka, but steeled his resolve. He had to speak with her.

He slid the door to Asuka's room open slowly, and found her still fast asleep, her blanket pushed down to her feet. He found himself wishing that he had changed out of his pajamas earlier, as, now that he saw looking at her in her nightgown again, he could feel blood pulsing to his lower regions, and was sure that she would be able to notice.

He sat down at the edge of her bed quickly, noticing that in such a position he could keep the fact that he was mildly aroused hidden. He looked down at the girl who had hurt him so badly not that long ago and sighed. 'Nephilim trusts you... please don't prove her wrong...' he thought to himself as he placed a hand on her shoulder gently.

When that had no immediate result, he gave her a little squeeze, rather than the rude shaking that she would have resorted to. She moaned a bit, and then opened her eyes. Once she focused on the fact that he was sitting at the side of her bed, with his hand on her shoulder, she screamed at him and slapped him hard.

"Perversling!" she shouted, gathering her blanket up to cover herself up more than her nightgown was allowing. "What do you think you're doing in my room?"

"You promised..." he said softly. There was something about his expression that caused her to stop for a moment to look at him, and then she lowered the blanket and sat on the bed, crossing her legs.

"About what, baka?" she asked in a surprisingly calm voice. 'Please don't ask about her, please don't ask about her, please don't..."

"You promised you'd tell what you knew about Nephilim, and the necklace," he said, his voice barely a whisper.

'Verdammen!' Asuka closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

"She said I could trust you," he whispered, holding his head in his hands. "And now it looks like she was wrong..."

"She first came to me after we failed against Israfel," Asuka interrupted him, causing him to look up in surprise. "I only knew it was her, because she was naked, and looked about old enough to wear that dress you held onto so tightly."

Shinji found suddenly that he couldn't stop his tears, and buried his head so Asuka couldn't see him. He didn't really feel like listening to her insult him again. "So long ago..." he whispered, choking on a sob in his throat.

"She was really mad with me the next time I saw her. If I was in her shoes, I probably would have hit myself," she admitted. "It was... just after I..."

"Alright," Shinji cut her off.

"No," Asuka countered. "I told you that I would tell you, and I'm not letting you stop me now!" she said fiercely. "After I told Kaji about Nephilim. After I broke your trust." She paused, and looked away from him. "I shouldn't have done that..." she whispered.

"Is that an apology from the great Asuka Soryu Langley?" Shinji whispered, a small grin on his face despite his tears.

"Not one I'd ever admit to!" she said quickly. She then sighed. "She showed me a few things... and then told me about her illness. You really did have it bad, didn't you?"

"So now you believe me?" he asked, shaking his head.

"You believe me because of her, right?" Asuka said angrily. "So why can't I believe you for the same reason? You aren't so high and mighty, Shinji Ikari."

"You didn't know her like I did..." he whispered, burying himself again.

"I never had the chance," she countered. She sat without saying anything else for a while, just watching him convulsing in silent sobs. After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke up again. "She said she wanted to see you again," she offered. "But she is afraid that it might destroy you."

"I don't care if it did," Shinji whispered. "So long as it meant..."

"Baka!" she said fiercely, slapping the back of his head hard. He looked up to her, and she could see the tears that were staining his face. "Don't take the cowards way out!" she said harshly.

Shinji sighed and shook his head, ignoring his tears now. "But that's all I am, remember?" he asked. "You said as much to Rei just yesterday. I'm a coward, that's it..."

Asuka shook her head slowly. "No you aren't," she said so softly that he could barely hear her. "I could never stand up to your father like you did when you first arrived. The man terrifies me," she admitted despite herself.

"He scares me too," Shinji admitted.

"But at least you stood up to him," she pointed out. "And..." She faltered for a moment before rushing in again. "And you dove into the volcano to save me. A coward couldn't have done that."

She shivered in the cool morning air, and looked down suddenly. She hadn't realized just how exposing her nightgown really was, and with the chill in the air, her breasts were really clearly visible through the thin fabric. Looking up quickly, she slapped him again. "But how dare you come in here, dressed like that?" she demanded. "When I'm not even dressed yet?" she added. "Now get out so I can change!"

She waited until the door had shut completely before sighing. He might have been a bit scrawny, but he was almost sexy without a shirt on. She was just glad that the room was cold, and she could blame her firm nipples on that. Not that she would have to explain it to anyone anyway... if he asked, she'd hit him into next week!

She looked up as a knock sounded on her door. "Open it and you're dead!" she warned, getting up quickly to start looking for a change of clothes for the day. "I'm not decent!"

"Misato wants us at NERV by ten at the latest, Asuka. We've got to get going soon if we're going to make it in time," he said through the closed door. She looked over to her own clock and saw the numbers flashing. She really had to remember to set that one day...

She looked up from the pile of clothes she had thrown on the ground. "What, she expects us to walk?" she demanded.

"I..." Shinji started, but stopped before saying anything else.

"You what?"

"I told her that we would walk," he said quickly. "Because I had to talk to you about..."

"Fine," she shouted back, cutting him off again. "But I'll make sure you pay for it later, you hear?" Shinji chose not to reply, but returned to his own room to get dressed.

When Asuka emerged from her room in record time wearing her short yellow dress, she found Shinji pulling on his shoes. "Looks like we don't have time for breakfast this morning," he said as he tied his laces on his sneakers.

"You're making me walk, and skip breakfast?" Asuka demanded harshly.

"Could you save the screaming for later?" Shinji butted in, surprising her. He sounded dejected and listless. "I just don't need to hear it right now, alright?" he didn't give her a chance to reply before opening the door, at which point both were left speechless.

Rei Ayanami was standing in her school uniform just outside. She looked over Shinji quickly, and to their surprise, she frowned before looking to Asuka. "You hurt Ikari once again, Pilot Soryu," she said, her voice harsh rather than flat, noting the tear stains on his cheeks. "I do not think that I can overlook this, either. I will be reporting it to Major Katsuragi once we arrive at NERV."

"Stuff it, Wondergirl, I didn't lay a hand on him," she retorted. "And just what are you doing here?"

"There are other ways to harm a person than with your fists, Soryu," Rei replied in her usual monotone. "And I am here to walk Ikari to headquarters. The Major told me when she came by to remind me of the tests that he had insisted on walking, and I felt... compelled to join him."

"Don't butt in where..." Asuka started to say, but Shinji walking out the door cut her off again.

"She didn't do anything to me, Rei," Shinji said softly, walking passed her. "And if we are going to walk together, could we do it in relative silence for once? I don't need to hear arguing today..."

"You are feeling unwell, Ikari?" Rei asked, her voice high with concern. "Perhaps it would be best for you to remain here and rest. Soryu and myself could explain your situation to the Major, and you could make the testing up at another time."

"The way he was talking earlier, Wondergirl, tells me not to leave him here on his own," Asuka countered, shutting the door firmly behind her. "I can see him taking the coward's way out anyway." When Shinji looked back in surprise at her words, he found her looking back at the apartment, refusing to meet his eye.

Asuka was still tired. That was what she kept telling herself as the three walked in silence, anyway. She wasn't following Shinji's wishes. That baka had no right to control her. She was just too tired to come up with anything to say. She didn't owe him anything.

Except her life. She would have screamed as the thought flashed through her mind, but she forced herself to look at her feet carefully as they walked, as though to avoid tripping over fallen objects. He had saved her life in the volcano, and she knew it. And it was starting to tear her up. She couldn't stand owing anyone anything. It didn't suit her.

She stopped as she looked up and saw the empty traffic light. Shinji noticed her stand still, and turned back to face her as he also stopped. Rei stopped several steps later, when she noticed that Shinji was no longer keeping pace with her. "What's wrong, Asuka?" he asked.

She pointed to the street light. "Do you think the light's burnt out?" she asked.

Rei took a calculated look around them quickly, and then shook her head. "Negative," she replied in her flat voice. "It appears that there is a citywide blackout in effect," she explained. "It should not have affected NERV, however. The sooner we arrive, then the sooner they will be aware of the situation."

"What could cause a blackout on a day like this?" Shinji asked, looking up to the blue skies. "It's not like there's a storm coming or anything."

[She's coming.]

Asuka saw the flash pass before Shinji's eyes, and saw him clutching at something he wore around his neck. She knew it was the necklace without seeing it. When she raised an eyebrow to him to question the action, he shook his head. "We have to get to NERV. Now." The urgency in his voice left no room for objections.

"Is there a problem?" Rei asked as they started to run down the empty road.

Shinji didn't answer. Once the large doors of the complex entrance came into view, Asuka spoke up. "They have no pilots," she pointed out. "And with the city apparently shut down, it would not be easy for us to get there."

Shinji arrived first at the building and swiped his card through the reader to open the doors. He walked forward at once, but stopped when he saw that the doors hadn't responded. Looking back, he swiped his card a second time.

"Out of the way, Shinji!" Asuka demanded, pushing him aside. "No time for baka screw ups." She swiped her card quickly, but found it to be as ineffective as Shinji's had been. "Verdammen!"

Rei stood up slowly from her inspection of one of the other readers, and looked over to the others. "The power appears to be out here, as well," she said, an edge of worry creeping into her voice. "Which should not be possible."

"Why not?" Asuka asked at once.

"With three different sources of back up power," Rei explained. "A complete power outage is not possible within NERV. The only way for it to have happened it an Angel attack on the inside."

"Or someone on the inside hacking into the system to shut things down," Asuka countered, looking to Shinji for any sign about angel activity. He shook his head, and looked back to the doors. Asuka threw her pack on the ground and started rummaging through it. Rei mimicked her moments later, and Shinji just looked to both.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Emergence procedures," Asuka read from the card she removed after a moment. "We all got a copy," she added darkly. "Shouldn't you know that?"

Shinji sighed as the two girls stood up again. "There is an access shaft to the right side of the doors," Rei said, motioning to the doorway.

The fourteen year old boy looked over the door for a moment before turning back to the two girls behind him. "And just why am I the only one doing this?" he asked again, taking hold of the massive knob and putting his small weight into trying to move it to open the door.

"You expect us to get dirty, when there's a man around?" Asuka asked, looking to Rei. When the First Child stepped forward to help Shinji, she held out a hand. "Let him do it on his own," she said softly.

"He is in need of assistance," Rei said, shaking her head and pushing the German's hand out of her way. "And so I will help him."

"You'd be hurting him this time." Asuka's words stopped Rei in her tracks, and when the blue haired albino turned for an explanation, Asuka sighed. "If he needs to ask for help from a girl, how do you think he'll think of himself?"

"I fail to understand."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Asuka muttered. "Look, he's a guy, right? Has to be able to protect the girls around him, or so it goes."

"You would let him protect you, Soryu?" Rei sounded shocked at the idea. Asuka had never let anyone do anything to protect her before. "I thought you insisted on doing things your own way and on your own."

"I do," Asuka said, walking forward as Shinji opened the door. "But he has to think he can help sometimes." She stopped as she walked into the dark corridor. "Do you have a flashlight in that bag of yours, Wondergirl?"

"I did not think it would be necessary," Rei said simply.

Shinji sighed. He really was starting to wish he had brought his own pack. "I'll lead," he offered after a moment. "So I can run into things first." Before the others could object, he walked into the darkness, and then stopped a few steps in, staring at his hands.

They were glowing white in the darkness. [Walk forward, and turn left at the first intersection.] He looked up sharply as he heard Nephilim's voice in his mind. [You must hurry. Matariel is coming.]

Shinji looked back to the other pilots, a look of fear on his face. "There's an Angel on its way," he explained quickly. "We've got to get inside now."

"How do you know that, Ikari?" Rei asked in surprise.

"Nevermind," Asuka said quickly, walking into the corridor now that there was a source of light - albeit an odd source. "I'll lead," she offered, pushing Shinji to the side. As she started to walk forward, she grabbed his arm and started pulling him, spilling the light from his hands on the path ahead of her. Rei followed quickly behind.

Asuka turned to Shinji at most of the bends, and he would always point one way or the other. He could no longer make out the words that his sister was saying to him, but he heard the sound of her voice from one way or the other. They stopped in front of a crumbled doorway that was blocked by rock.

"Some escape route," Asuka muttered, looking to the other two. The glow from Shinji's hands cast them all in an eerie light, but she ignored it. "Now what?" she demanded.

Rei looked up, and almost smiled. Almost, anyway. "It appears that the air ducts would be the easiest method of travel from here on," she said quietly, not wanting to hear her voice echo through the darkness. She decided after quite some time of walking in the dark that she didn't much care for it, and wanted to do nothing to antagonize the black that all but surrounded them.

Shinji helped Rei up first, and then Asuka, before colouring up the rock pile and entering the ducts himself. "If you dare look up my dress, Shinji, then I'm not letting you face another Angel," Asuka warned. "Cause I'll kill you myself, Perversling."

Shinji swallowed hard and forced himself to look at the metal of the duct carefully. The dream from that night kept coming back to him suddenly, and the urge to look up her dress was building more and more as he thought of holding her. "I would not object to such a thing," Rei offered.

Asuka stopped in surprise at hearing the statement, and Shinji ran into her, as he was still studying the ground. She screamed when she felt his face press into her ass, and turned to kick him hard. The sudden movement caused the duct to groan, and before anyone of them could stop it, the duct crumpled beneath them and they were sent sprawling to the ground.

Asuka was aware of many things as she reoriented herself. The first was that they were in the cages for the Evangelions. The second was that she had actually landed on Rei, and that thought amused her, until she noticed that she had also partially landed on Shinji. She then noticed where her hand had ended up. She felt the colour rush to her cheeks as she felt how hard he was, and she knew that he must have looked up at her panties at least once to be as aroused as that. Rolling quickly off both of them, she kicked Shinji hard in the leg before looking around.

The boy cried out, and Rei was next to him at once, helping him to his feet and supporting his weight as he found the injury to his leg a bit much to stand normally right away. As the three looked around, they found people running in every direction, and finally heard a manual siren warning of the Angel approach. Turning towards their Units, they were amazed to see the entry plugs in position.

"About time you arrived," Misato's voice called from behind them. When they turned in surprise, she smiled to them. "The Commander said that he knew you would come."

"Did my father do all this by hand?" Shinji asked in surprise, looking back to the Units, and then the pulleys and ropes that were behind them. He was surprised to see his father on one of the lines, moving the entry plug just enough to fix its position.

"He had faith in each of you," Misato admitted. "As did I. Now get suited up. This won't be an easy battle for any of you," she added.

"All three of us are going out?" Asuka asked in shock.

"With less than three minutes of internal battery life each, yes," Misato confirmed. "You'll need to work together to kill the Angel quickly, as with the city powerless, you will not be able to plug in anywhere."

"Let's get suited up," Asuka said, pushing Shinji towards the boy's changing rooms and heading towards the girl's one herself.

Shinji found that he could barely speak as he walked. Not only had his father had faith in him, but when they had landed, he felt where Asuka had squeezed. The feeling left his throat a bit dry and his heart beating faster than he could ever remember.

"Please don't be wrong about her, Nephilim."
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