Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ What Kind of Sickness is This? ❯ Chapter 2

 

 

 

What Kind of Sickness is This?

 

 

By Lord Raa

 

 

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Disclaim-me-do: Do you remember that old lullaby?

 

 

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Part 2

 

 

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Shinji wore a light blush as Misato led him by the hand through NERV headquarters. He liked the way that she was affectionate towards him, but felt that she did get a bit too “touchy-feely” after a few beers.

 

Something caught his eye as the pair travelled down the corridor. Shinji now had a better chance to examine it when they were stopped by Rei.

 

“Good evening, Shinji-kun,” the blue haired girl smiled.

 

Shinji blinked. “Oh, sorry, Rei. I was distracted by something I saw.”

 

“What was that?”

 

“A black shape on that cupboard,” the male pilot answered as he pointed in the appropriate direction.

 

Rei quickly strode up to the cupboard and smiled. It was what she had been looking for.

 

“Is something wrong, Rei?”

 

“No, Shinji-kun, you have found something that I was searching for. Thank you,” Rei said with a smile.

 

Shinji wasn't expecting his fellow pilot to give him a thank you kiss. Not that he didn't enjoy it, but Misato seemed rather upset that about that fact that it was on the lips, not on the cheek as per the custom.

 

“Come on, Shinji, we need to get back home, I'm hungry,” the Captain growled.

 

 

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Rei was now very happy that she had reclaimed her prized erotica, but there was a doubt in her mind about keeping it.

 

“It has great value, but if it falls into the wrong hands, then Shinji-kun would be emotionally crippled to the point that no amount of sex would make him feel better. Is Tokyo-3, nay the world at large, ready to handle the release of such materials?” the pilot asked herself rhetorically. “Dare I gamble away my chance for hot monkey love with Shinji-kun?”

 

The young woman scratched her head as she asked that fateful question: “What Would Uncle Happosai Do?”

 

 

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Shinji was preparing to serve up the tonkatsu he'd made for his housemates when Misato announced her plans for the weekend.

 

“Shin-chan and I are going to a hot spring for a few days.”

 

“What? Why are you taking him on holiday?” the redhead demanded angrily.

 

“Shin-chan needs a little break from life in Tokyo-3,” Misato answered with a smile. “He's in danger of burning himself out, you know.”

 

“Fair enough, when are we leaving?”

 

“Shin-chan and I will be leaving on Friday afternoon, you won't be going anywhere,” the purple haired woman said pointedly.

 

“Why not?” Asuka huffed. “Don't I deserve a break?”

 

“You do, Asuka,” Shinji said as he passed the bowls and drinks to his companions. He winced when he saw Misato chug much of her beer. `I hope she doesn't start feeling too lonely tonight,' he thought with an embarrassed blush as he recalled the last time that happened. `Wait, that happened last night…'

 

Asuka smiled when she realised that Shinji was on her side. `He knows his place.'

 

The redhead's mind trailed off into a mild fantasy that involved riding Shinji like a bucking bronco while she wore nothing more than a cowboy hat as they stayed in a ryokan.

 

“No-one's disputing that, Asuka,” Misato interrupted the day-dream by slamming her now empty can on the table. “It's just that I've got some time off to use up by the end of the month and I want to go to a hot spring.”

 

“So why are you taking me?” Shinji asked. All the attention that was directed at him made him nervous. “Wouldn't Kaji be a better choice?”

 

“If I wanted to be manhandled rather than gently caressed,” Misato almost said. “I thought that you might like a nice break from cooking and cleaning, Shin-chan.”

 

“It would be nice,” Shinji agreed. “But what about Asuka?”

 

“She's old enough and ugly enough to look after herself,” the slightly tipsy captain waved off her favourite male's concerns.

 

“You bitch!” the Second Child dived across the table, intent of smacking seven shades of shit out of the beer drinker.

 

Not that the fight was a long one, as Misato's combat training allowed her to restrain the enraged pilot with a couple of towels.

 

Unfortunately, Shinji had been knocked to the floor in the struggle.

 

“Shin-chan!” the purple haired woman rushed to Shinji's side. “Are you ok? Did that nasty Asuka hurt you?”

 

“I'll be fine, Misato-san,” Shinji replied in a weak voice.

 

Captain Katsuragi decided that she needed to make sure that Shinji could breathe easily and unfastened a few of his buttons.

 

Asuka, having turned herself to face the slightly stunned pilot, shouted at her roommate. “Oi! Taking his trousers off isn't going to help him breathe better!”

 

“Maybe not, but they look so tight and uncomfortable,” Misato countered.

 

Asuka's protest was quickly silenced when she saw that her housemate had “accidentally” begun to pull Shinji's boxer shorts off with the trousers.

 

“AARGH! Misato, stop!” the male pilot screamed.

 

His attempt to stop Misato from stripping him only resulted in his grabbing her arms and pulling her over his body so she landed face to face with him.

 

“Well, Shin-chan,” Misato whispered huskily as she licked her lips.

 

Shinji gulped.

 

It looked like he was going to experience “le Petite Mort”. While he wasn't averse to that idea (Misato was certainly very attractive), he had always hoped that his first time would be a bit more romantic than on the kitchen floor with a surly redhead bound and thrashing a metre or so away.

 

The sound of the front door opening gave Shinji his chance to escape into his room.

 

“Shinji-kun?” Rei asked as she pocketed her skeleton key.

 

“Rei, what are you doing here?” Misato glared at the blue haired girl.

 

“I am here to visit Shinji-kun,” Rei answered as she entered the kitchen. “Ah, I see you are enjoying some light bondage. Would you mind if I joined in?”

 

“Yes!” Asuka shouted.

 

“Oh, well in that case, may I watch?” the red eyed pilot asked, taking a seat. “I had planned to spend the evening with Shinji-kun, but as he is not here…”

 

“We are not having pervy sex games in the kitchen!” the redhead screeched.

 

“Then why are you tied up on the floor?” the First Child asked. “Have you been naughty? Is Shinji-kun punishing you at last?”

 

Asuka was beginning to panic at the perverted pilot's words and blurted out something that would save her skin for the time being. “Baka-Shinji's in his room!”

 

“Thank you, Pilot Sohryu.”

 

When Rei turned to visit Shinji, Misato realised what Asuka had done.

 

“You just gave her a half dressed Shin-chan!”

 

“Shit!”

 

 

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Rei decided to knock gently on the door to “Shin-chan's Lovely Suite”.

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Good evening, Shinji-kun. May I come in?” Rei asked with a hint of a smile.

 

“Yeah, just let my change my shirt,” the young man replied.

 

Rei was not one to let such an opportunity slip away from her and opened the door.

 

“Shinji-kun, is something wrong?”

 

“No, Rei,” Shinji replied as he buttoned up a fresh shirt, “I just spilt some food on me earlier. Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

“There are several things that you could do for me, but I will settle for your company. Where can we spend some private time together?” the soft spoken pilot asked.

 

Shinji blinked. `Rei likes me?' He smiled. “Yes, Rei, I'd like that. We could go for a walk tonight, if you'd like.”

 

The blue haired girl offered her hand to Shinji. “I would like to visit the park that is not far from here.”

 

 

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Misato listened in on the pilot's conversation with a small amount of relief. `Rei hasn't jumped my Shin-chan. Yet.'

 

Knocking on the door, the Captain announced her presence.

 

“Shin-chan, are you alright?”

 

“I'm fine, Misato-san,” the young man blushed at the attention that was being lavished upon him.

 

“That's good to hear, Shin-chan. Are you packed for the weekend?” the purple haired woman asked. `Not that you'll be needing clothes for much of our break…'

Rei frowned when she saw Misato's eyes glaze over slightly. “Shinji-kun, are you going somewhere?”

“Misato-san said that I needed a break and she booked a trip to a hot spring,” Shinji answered. “Misato-san, would it be ok if Rei and Asuka came along? I don't want to leave them out.”

Rei smiled. `Is Shinji-kun planning an orgy? If so, then I have not failed in my mission.'

“I can't afford to pay for them,” the Captain shook her head.

“Do not worry, I can appropriate funds for myself and Pilot Sohryu,” the red-eyed pilot countered. “The Commander may even subsidise the entire trip.”

”Please, Misato-san,” Shinji pled. “It would be nice to spend time with my friends.”

“But I wanted to spend time alone with you, Shin-chan,” Misato whined.

“I believe the saying `the more the merrier' is appropriate in this context, Captain Katsuragi,” Rei offered. She walked up to the older woman and whispered into her ear. “Besides, if you allow me to accompany you on the trip, I will continue my attempts to get Shinji-kun to change from cotton to silk for his undergarments.”

Misato pondered that part of the bargain. `Shin-chan in silk boxers would be cute, but I don't want to have to deal with the megabitch trying to seduce Shin-chan as well as Rei.' “And what if Ritsuko wants to join us?”

Rei's frown resurfaced. “I had not considered that possibility. Dr. Akagi is known for her libertinage. I do not think that her attendance would be advisable.”

“Damn straight!” the purple haired woman shouted.

Before a confused Shinji could ask “What's libertinage?” Rei decided to take the young man out of the apartment.

“Come with me, Shinji-kun, it is time for our walk.”

“Where do you think you're going?” a newly freed Asuka demanded.

“We are going out for a walk, Pilot Sohryu,” the blue haired girl explained. “Please do not attempt to follow us, we have something private to discuss.”

“Like what?” the redhead demanded.

“It is private, Pilot Sohryu,” Rei smiled evilly.

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Shinji escorted Rei to the lift in a pleasant silence and pressed the call button and turned to give his companion a reassuring smile. But before he could say something, the doors opened and Ritsuko stepped out.

“Dr. Akagi,” the male pilot greeted happily.

“Shinji-kun!” the blonde smiled as she prepared to hug her love interest. “I thought I told you call me `Ritsuko'. And what happened to dinner, you're not leaving me in the company of a drunken Misato again, are you?”

“Sorry, Ritsuko-san,” Shinji bowed apologetically, “but Rei needed to talk to me in private.”

Rei smiled as she stepped closer to her beau.

Ritsuko frowned as she perceived the blue haired girl to be seducing her boyfriend. “I'm not so sure that you two should be allowed out on your own.”

“Do not worry, Dr. Akagi,” the red-eyed girl smiled smugly, “I will make sure that Shinji-kun's virtue remains intact.”

“Really?”

“Yes, we will be in public. Shinji-kun is a private person, so I do not think that he will be interested in `dogging'.”

“That's a shame,” Ritsuko muttered. The head of Project E always did have an exhibitionist streak. “Anyway, is Misato in?”

“Yes, and she seems relatively sober,” Rei said in a teasing tone.

As Shinji and Rei took their leave for their stroll, the scientist rang Misato's doorbell.

A surly looking redhead answered. “Oh, it's you, Akagi. What do you want?”

“I'm here to speak with Misato, Asuka-chan,” Ritsuko said with an exaggerated sweetness. “Now step aside.”

Asuka rolled her eyes and held the door open.


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“Shinji-kun,” Rei started as the pair of pilots sat on a park bench, “I want to know how you feel about the idea of being int-”

The quiet, yet erotically charged girl was interrupted by a police siren.

“You there!” a female voice called out. “What are you doing?”

Shinji shot up from his seat. “Nothing! I was just talking with Rei here.”

“A likely story,” a slightly familiar voice replied sarcastically. “Wait, you're that Ikari boy!”

“Officer Kawamitsu! I was just talking with Rei here,” the pilot insisted. “Please Rei, tell her!”

“Were you the one that handcuffed Shinji-kun earlier?” Rei asked in her usual, even tone.

“Yes, but that was because we had standing orders. How do I know that you're not trying to kidnap Ikari-kun?” the policewoman accused the female pilot.

“I was trying to engage in a private discussion with Shinji-kun about our relationship,” Rei explained, “please leave us. Besides, if I were plotting such a nefarious scheme, then I would have restrained him with handcuffs such as these and a ball gag to prevent him from alerting people.”

The perverted pilot pulled out a set of fake fur lined handcuffs and a red ball-gag with leather harness.

“After that, he would have been bundled him into a van and I would already be having my wicked way with him.”

Shinji wore a priceless look of panic on his face. And quite rightly so, his friend had just revealed that she carried such items on her person, let alone without the aid a bag.

“I think I should escort Mr. Ikari home, just to be on the safe side,” the short haired brunette said in a tone that suggested that Rei was not to be trusted.


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“What can I do you for, Ritsuko?” the purple haired captain asked her old friend.

“I was invited over for dinner, remember?”

“Too bad you're late. And now, Shin-chan's out with Rei. Make it quick before I get drunk.”

The blonde blinked. She hadn't expected that response from her co-worker. “I thought that you might like to spend some time with your best friend, that's all.”

“You haven't been best friend since the time you tried to convince me to swap my Shin-chan for a private showing of your new design for the plugsuits!” Misato snorted. “50 percent less material, but how much less Shinji would there be in my life?”

“About 70 percent,” Ritsuko admitted.

“And just how big of an idiot do you take me for?”

Asuka was tempted to answer that rhetorical question for Misato, but the doorbell rang again.

“What? He had his key with him, didn't he, Misato?”

“I think so,” the Captain nodded. “Oh well, perhaps it's someone else.”

Misato sauntered up to the front door and opened it. “Can I help you, officer?”

“Yes, sorry to bother you, but does this young man live here?” the policewoman asked politely.

“Yes, what's happened to Shinji?”

“He was seen talking to this girl,” Officer Kawamitsu gestured to Rei, “in a park not far from here. Why is he out on his own after curfew?”

“I was talking to Rei, I didn't want to bother anyone,” Shinji insisted in his usual meek tone.

Misato sighed. “He was talking to Rei. I can't vouch for Rei's intentions, but Shinji's were honest and honourable.”

“Please keep him under tighter control, I know what teenaged boys can be like, I've got a brother,” the brunette smiled.

“Oh, don't worry, Officer, I intend to keep him on a tight leash,” Rei grinned.


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To be continued, but only when I can be arsed to write more of this tosh.

Here, have some omake from The Fanfic Puppy….


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Asuka stood up, slowly, carefully; both hands pushing her away from the floor, before catching the corner of her bed.

She blinked, and pinched herself.

Hmm... seems right.

She shrugged, before grabbing a stapler from her table and dropping it on her foot.

“ACH, SCHIESSE!” She paused, whilst hopping. “Definitely no dream.”


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Misato stared at her beer can, shaking it before upending it into her mouth.

Didn't seem off... then that means... surely not...?

She slapped her forearm with the remote control, wincing. Nope. And...

Performing the female version of an “equipment check” - and one that like as not would have given Shinji a nosebleed - she verified what she thought just happened.

“Definitely. Wow.”

“I'M GONNA GET THAT WUNDERKIND!”


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Shinji stared at the sight running down the road towards him as he came back from the shops.

Rei was bouncing down the road, a green cloth sack clearly full of women's underwear thrown over her back, shouting “What a haul! What a haul!”

Asuka running - no, limping... or would that be more like hobbling? - down the road towards Rei, interspersing words such as “lingerie” and “bra!” between a tirade of swearwords in just about every language she knew.

And Misato - bouncing - definitely bouncing unrestrained - down the road after her.

The three blew past him as he turned, mouth gaping wide, Misato with shouting “You could have left the bra and panties I was wearing, Rei!”

Shinji shrugged, feeling light headed from the blood loss already. Misato certainly was energetic when avenging her lost undergarments. He tried checking his breath, but all he could smell was the coppery tang of his nosebleed.

He shrugged once more, resuming the trudge towards home. I'll probably wake up in the hospital, none of this ever having happened. This must be a fever-dream. It can't be real.

Still, he swore like a bitch when the twenty-four pack of beer broke the bag and landed bang on his big toe. Just the corner - but enough to hurt.

He gathered it up, noting the dinged cans with slight distaste, and trudged on home.

 

 

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Until laterer comes.