Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Where Darkness Falls ❯ The Things you prize ( Chapter 8 )

Where Darkness Falls

Chapter 8 -The Things you Prize

The real world returned in a rush, but Misato kept her eyes open, staring at the space the bird-like creature occupied as if it held the answers to every question she had ever asked. The voice had been unmistakable. The eyes - unforgettable. She had just killed her father's memory, in a very literal sense, and now there was nothing - not so much as a spot of blood marked the top of the lighthouse where the thing had fallen.

What kind of power is really behind all this? she wondered grimly, checking the rifle's small cartridge and finding it completely empty. I see my father… and I have to kill him. I see Shinji everywhere I go… but I can't protect him - God, this is just like fighting angels. I was always `there' with him, but I could never DO anything for him.

In the face of this nightmare, her personal vendetta against the angels seemed so very, very petty. Yes, she was fighting for the survival of the human race… but if she could not even manage to protect the people she cared for, what was it all for? Shinji… Asuka… Ritsuko… Kaji… even Makoto, with his ill-concealed crush and secretly courageous heart - if she sacrificed all of them to destroy the angels, who would she go home to?

When did the fight against the angels become more important than the ones she was fighting them for?

"Would any of them throw me away like I threw them away?" Misato whispered, mechanically reloading the rifle's cartridge. "Do any of them really care for me at all?"

This, she knew, was an unfair question. Shinji definitely cared about her, even though he had a hell of time showing it. It was just the way he was raised. He was held back by his inhibitions and the ever-constant nemesis of his own low self-esteem - two foes that could not be defeated by something as simple as a few grams of lead and a tablespoon of cordite. She also knew Asuka cared about her - in her own unique way. The redhead simply was not capable of showing it, for many of the same reasons Shinji was not, for while her defence mechanisms were not the same, her issues were very similar to the Third's.

Makoto, of course, cared about her. How often had the man gone out of his way to do things for her - even endangering his own job, and sometimes life, to get answers and information Misato herself had no access to?

And despite all of their differences, Ritsuko was still a friend… even if she was sometimes the harshest, most unforgiving critic in the world.

"So yeah," Misato whispered, shaking herself from her daze, "I've got friends… I just need to make sure they know I care too."

Oh man, she thought sadly, when did it become so important? When did friendship start to mean less than revenge?

Unbidden, Amber's words suddenly rang out in her mind. "Misato, I…I think that boy Kaworu made the same choice your father made. I don't mean to sound like I know everything, but to me it seems like he wanted Shinji to live as much as your dad wanted you to. I may not know your dad, and… and I might have just met you, but I think he would have wanted you to move on and be happy, you know?"

Misato wondered how much she degraded her father's sacrifice with her words to Shinji following Kaworu's death.

If Shinji had let him live, he'd have been destroyed by someone else anyway, she reasoned, walking slowly towards the lighthouse stairs, or would he have been shoved in some laboratory for the rest of his life? Was there some reason he couldn't kill himself?Damn it, why did he make SHINJI do it??

Misato had to admit there was still a lot she did not understand about the Angels.

How could he have broken down his walls when I wouldn't do the same for him? she thought, again wondering what she really felt for Shinji. Was she really just his guardian? Or was there something… more between them? I often told him he was part of my job…Misato found herself thinking back to the sixteenth angel, wondering again why he had shied away from her touch. I wonder if he ever got so much as a hug,or even had his hand held? The Commander sure doesn't strike me as the hugging type, that's for sure.

Misato sighed as she made her way down and exited the lighthouse. I know Shinji's in this town somewhere… she thought, putting all other considerations aside, and Iknow that he needs me…

Shouldering rifle, she cradled the shotgun in her hands and pumped a shell into the breech, a look of grim determination replacing the confusion and sorrow on her face.

…and this time,I WILL be there!

**

After several minutes of confused, fog-bound wandering, Misato finally found the Amusement Park, shaking her head in nostalgic memory as she found it just the same as every amusement park she had ever been to in her life… but as she went through the gate, she was forced to clap her hands over her ears as she heard that same voiceless scream, and once again the stench of decay filled her nostrils. When she opened her eyes, she found that the ground under her feet had turned to rusted, aged metal, and the once vibrant looking rides were decayed and rotted - turning the once happy park into a dismal playground of dementia.

So soon, she thought, wetting her lips as she ducked into the concession stand to avoid a pair of the winged monsters, it's taking less and less time between `jumps.' Something's happening - and it ISN'T good…

Making her way cautiously around the perimeter of the park, Misato spied movement near the souvenir shop - but as it was taking great pains not to draw attention, she realised it was not a monster. She pushed the door open carefully, jumping slightly at the shadow cast by a portable oxygen tank sitting on the arm of an abandoned wheelchair outside, and found a small figure crouching behind a pile of plush animals, her eyes scanning the terrain on the far side of the park as if searching for something.

"Amber…??"

The girl bit her lip, stifling a surprised scream. "Misato!" she cried, "Oh, I didn't think-"

"Are you alright?" Misato cut in, hurrying to the girl's side and checking her for any obvious signs of harm, "I told you not to leave that office!"

"I know, I know!!" Amber said quickly, wringing her hands together in agitation, "but I heard something on the other side of the door so I hid under the desk. I thought it might be another monster. I waited but… but you never came back, and…"

Ritsuko might not have spotted her, Misato thought, disgusted with herself for not insisting that they double check. Damn it- I just walked away and left her!

"I'm sorry," she whispered, giving the girl's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Amber's eyes widened. "What happened?" she whispered, pointing at the bruises around Misato's neck.

Misato hesitated, the entries from Fletcher's journal flashing through her mind. I have to know, she thought firmly, and Fletcher sure isn't talking…

"Well," she said nonchalantly, "umm… do you know the Chief of Police?"

"You mean Aar-" the girl cut herself off in mid-sentence as she looked at the floor. "Er, Mister Fletcher… yeah, I know him…"

Misato chose her words carefully. "How… well do you know him, Amber?"

Amber's shoulders slumped. "Ummm… p-pretty well…"

Slowly, Misato slipped her hand into her pocket, wrapping it around the little flower ring. "How well?"

"He's a great guy," Amber said, her voice half pleading and half apologetic, "we just… we go hang out sometimes, that's all - really!"

"You DO know that he's married, right?" Misato asked gently, wishing she did not have to have this conversation.

Poor kid, she thought sadly, she's got it bad for this asshole - I can't just say, `hey, he tried to kill me to make sure his little drug trade doesn't get hurt' now can I??

"Of course," Amber said sadly, "but Edi - I mean, Misses Fletcher - has some… problems, and she keeps shrieking at him for no reason, even though he never does anything wrong except try to be a good husband, and he's been so lonely since she took Charlie, and…" she trailed off, blushing brightly as she whispered, "it's like a movie, isn't it? I was… I was their babysitter, and… and one night, when he was driving me home, he just looked so sad, and I wanted him to be happy, so I k-kissed him, and it was just going to be once, but it was so nice, and he… he made me feel so good, and I-" she cut herself off, taking a shuddering breath. "God, please don't tell anyone, ok? He'd lose his job! I know I'm a bad person, but he's not - so please… don't tell, ok…?"

"I don't think you're a bad person," Misato said softly, pulling the girl into a gentle embrace, "I just-"

She cut herself off. What did she think? Certainly, this was not the first time she'd heard of an older man and a younger woman, but with all she knew about Fletcher, it was becoming clearer and clearer to her that she had to get Amber out of this town - before something bad happened to her.

"You're going to say something about his age aren't you?" Amber said softly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"Well," Misato admitted, thinking that this was not a very big leap in logic, "he is a lot older…"

"But he makes me happy," Amber said desperately, clutching Misato's hand in hers and looking up into her eyes, "that's not wrong, is it…? So what if it's a few years, he's all I care about, so it's ok, right?"

Misato gave her a reluctant nod, her mind filling with an unexpected, extremely vivid image of Shinji having the same conversation with Kaji about her. But we're not like that, she told herself, giving the girl a moment to compose herself, I mean… well, I never really gave it a lot of thought, I guess, I just-

"Age shouldn't matter," Amber said quietly, pulling the older woman from her thoughts, "it's just a stupid number…"

"You're right," Misato said, frowning as she glanced over the girl's shoulder.

Thought I saw something…

"Amber," she said slowly, trying to think of the police chief in a favourable light, "age doesn't really matter at all… just make sure you know that the person you're with is who he seems to be…"

There, Misato thought, feeling drained as the girl smiled at her, that's as close as I can come to the truth. She'd never believe me if I told her what Fletcher was REALLY like, and well, since I filled him full of buckshot, and I'm taking Amber with me when I leave town, it doesn't really matter, now does it?

A light went off inside Misato's head as she remembered that Amber was a native of this place. "Hey," she said, forgetting the ring entirely and pulling out the small photo instead, "you don't know where this place is, do you?"

Amber looked at the photo. "Hey, yeah, I do!" she said brightly, seemingly glad to have another topic to discuss. "This is a little way from the lake, about a half mile southeast of here. I passed it when I was hiking with my dad last summer." She studied the picture closely, "Do you think this might be Shinji?"

Misato nodded. "Hai."

"Well," Amber said slowly, "it's in the woods, and it's kind of dark… but I'll try to help you find it."

"I knew you would," Misato said warmly, patting the girl on the shoulder.

Amber nodded, practically beaming.

What a sweet girl, Misato thought honestly, starting for the door with Amber in tow, makes me sick to think of what that freak `taught' her. If I find out that he tried any of those Sakura drugs on her to make her `obedient,' I'll find his fucking body and cut it apart - fucking bastard… I-

Her thought train was rudely derailed as the front door to the souvenir shop exploded in, showering her with chunks of wood.

"Amber - get behind me!" Misato screamed, bringing her shotgun around to bear as something dark and shambling hunched its way through the remains of the door.

As the girl dove behind the shop counter, Misato assessed the creature, searching for a weakness. It was roughly nine feet tall, with a mass of short, squid-like tentacles where its mouth should have been. Instead of arms, the thing lumbered forward on two, powerful goat's legs capped with three digit, rough hewn rock claws.

Its eyes, thankfully, were not familiar.

"Stay down!" Misato cried, taking a quick step back and levelling the shotgun as the thing tossed its head, revealing the undersides of the tentacles on its face.

Leeches, Misato thought with disgust, their leeches - I hate leeches!!

The creature suddenly threw its head back and roared, trying to charge the woman - but the shop was too cramped, forcing it to stop after two short steps, its mass hindered by the narrow shelves and aisles of wood.

"Ha!" Misato cried, "Diet time, bitch!"

Don't get cocky, her mind warned as she fired a burst, it's not the only one trapped in here, you know!

Misato's eyes flicked to the back of the shop. "Amber! Stay DOWN, ok!?"

Any reply was lost as the shotgun roared again, peppering the creature's hide with tiny black holes. Then, to Misato's horror, the creature charged again… directly towards the counter at the back of the shop.

"NO!!"

Firing off three quick bursts, Misato back peddled towards the ruined front door.

"No!" she shouted, "Over here - here!! Come on, you ugly fucker - come GET ME!!"

The creature screeched in pain and anger as small trickles of blood appeared on its back, and it whirled, lashing out at its attacker. Misato felt the air in front of her move as the thing's massive claw hurled through the space she had occupied five seconds prior.

"That's right," she growled, pumping another shell into the shotgun and pulling the trigger, "I'm the one you're after, so come get it!" She raised her voice as the thing narrowed its eyes, knocking shelves and knickknacks aside as it advanced on her. "Amber! Get out! Go through the back and wait for me, ok? Wait for me!!"

The beast screeched again as Misato fired off another shell, and as she reached the door, it charged again, knocking through the doorframe as the woman dashed for the merry-go-round.

No time to reload, Misato thought, dropping the shotgun on the merry-go-round's floor and un-slinging the rifle, this thing holds five rounds, right…?

The beast rounded on her as she raised the rifle and clicked off a shot, the bullet passing over its left shoulder as it sprang nimbly to the side.

"Fast!" Misato gasped, drawing the bolt back and taking aim once more. "Didn't know it was so fast!!"

Another round confirmed this as the ground in front of the creature kicked up a small wisp of dirt, the bullet Misato had fired digging into the ground as the monster came to an abrupt, total stop.

Fuck!!

A soft chuffing sound filled the air as the creature began moving again, marching slowly back and forth in front of the merry-go-round - daring the woman to take another shot.

"Oh you think that's funny?" Misato whispered, drawing the bolt a third time. "Laugh this up, asshole."

The creature sprang to the side as Misato fired again… but as it was not the target, this was just fine by her. The rifle shell punched easily through the small, abandoned oxygen tank, the spark from its passing setting off the gas and creating a small, practically harmless ball of fire.

But again, the results themselves were not what Misato was after.

"…gotcha."

As the creature whirled around, surprised by the small explosion, Misato yanked the bolt on the rifle back and brought it back around, squeezing the trigger one more time as the creature realised its mistake and jerked to the left - half a second too slowly to prevent the bullet from passing through the side of its head.

Misato was already moving as the world filled with screaming light, grabbing the shotgun off the ground and jumping down from the merry-go-round. She dashed towards the souvenir shop, her eyes searching for the young American girl with frantic intensity.

"Amber, it's ok now!" she cried, frowning as she found the back door locked. "Amber? Are you in there? Amber??"

Slinging the rifle back onto her shoulder, Misato tore her pistol free of its holster. What if there were two? she thought, sprinting back around to the front of the shop and bolting through the door, God, I left her to die!

But the shop was empty.

Very slowly, Misato holstered her weapon, keeping one hand on it as she walked around the immaculately kept shop. There was not a mark on the wall… no holes marred the floor where the beast's heavy tread had shattered the wood… there was not so much as a stuffed animal out of place - nothing to indicate that anything had ever happened here.

"What… the… hell…?"

Forget it, the darkest part of Misato's mind whispered, she's not here - get moving. She'll turn up again… or maybe she won't - you can't worry about that anymore, only Shinji matters, do you understand? Only… Shinji…

"Only Shinji," she said softly, taking the rifle and shotgun off her shoulder and reloading both as she took a final look around the shop, "Only Shinji."

Shouldering her weapons, Misato pulled out the photo. Southeast, she thought grimly, Amber… I know it's a longshot - but PLEASE be heading there, ok? I… I have to find Shinji, but please let me find you one more time, ok?

With one last prayer, Misato headed towards the house.

TBC