One Piece Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Mario D. Luffy and Captain Lusopp ❯ Fat Robin ( Chapter 4 )

Luffy and Usopp

 

Well, the insanity had finally ended. The duo had defeated the 2-minute old dragon and had received 100,000,000,000 berries along with 12 plastic diamonds. Things were looking up. They beat up all kinds of pirates dressed up with spiky shells and Ms. Merry Christmas clones and finally made it to Drum Kingdom.

 

Upon entering, the two noticed the town was in ruins.

 

A half-conscious man wearing a snowsuit for no apparent reason passed out in front of the duo and uttered, “Bastard… king… ate… all… the… Nintendo… Wiis… UGH!”

 

“What?” Luffy retorted, “I thought we were supposed to see Queen Robin, hottest girl in all the land! This better not be a joke!”

 

“Oh, that's right,” the man uttered, “You're in the wrong kingdom. You want the Kingdom of Area That Doesn't Exist in the Actual One Piece Anime.”

 

So, the duo took a long trip there realizing that they were supposed to follow the map of the Grand Line and NOT Luffy's poor directional skills.

 

“Finally!” Lusopp shouted, “We made it to Area That Doesn't Exist in the Actual One Piece Anime!”

 

Still, just like Drum Kingdom, this place was also in ruins. A random person crawled up to the duo, passed out and said, “It's horrible! Queen Robin has been turned into a mean bitchy fatass!”

 

Lusopp pondered this and stated, “This doesn't add up. If I'm not mistaken, wasn't the fatass queen supposed to turn into a muscular thin woman who is still ugly no matter how thin you make her?”

 

Luffy smacked him and spat, “The only one who fits that description is Alvida, and she's being used for another roll that fits her character better! Be thankful that the queen is actually hot!”

 

Anyway, the duo walked up to the big palace as two guards ran out and shouted, “I DO SAY, STOP RIGHT THERE GENTLEMEN!”

 

“Oh no,” Lusopp wined, “Not ANOTHER British Stereotype!”

 

One of the guards pulled a cup of tea out of his big-ass hat and took a sip asking, “Who arte thou and why is thou here?”

 

Luffy sighed and showed the guards a rose as the second guard pulled out a crumpet, took a bite out of it and said, “Why, that's Sanji's rose. I guess they're on the level and what-not.”

 

Then, the two guards let them through and then froze.

 

“Say…” the first guard asked, “Who's Sanji and why was that rose yellow?” (In-character with the game is funnier anyway)

 

Anyway, the two entered the castle and met with a lovely young woman named Makino.

 

“Who are you supposed to be?” she asked as Luffy explained, “I'm Monkey D Luffy and my friend is Lusopp.”

 

Makino pondered this and said, “Never heard of you!” then pulled a lever and sent them into a dank sewer system.

 

“DAMMIT!” Luffy cursed, “This is all because this stupid fanfic writer had to give us those stupid fake ID's to live under! I'll kick his ass for this!”

 

Lusopp shrugged and said, “You needn't worry. Those biased users on Youtube make his life a living Hell on a regular basis because they don't get all the subliminal messages such as this one. Heck, it's become illegal for that guy to comment on videos now. It's really quite sad, like how retarded dub fans judge me by my nose and my dub voice. He doesn't even do anything to deserve it anymore. He uses his own material now.”

 

“That's true,” Luffy stated, nodding his head, “Too bad everyone keeps deleting his account due to personal issues. Heck, his videos aren't even copyrighted, yet people accuse him to copyright. That is just annoying.”

 

“These are also the same people who don't want anyone to see the Japanese version along with my manly side,” Lusopp replied in agreement.”

 

“He wouldn't even need to post these subliminal messages if people would just shut up and let him be a member of the site,” Luffy added, “Seriously, do they honestly expect his voice to become less annoying just because they say so?”

 

The two agreed that Youtube members were biased and went on to get out of the sewers.

 

(Do you get it yet?)

 

Getting through the sewers was not only easy, but they also earned huge bucks and fixed the pipes unintentionally. They also saved the real Makino along with Coby and all had been cleared up, like how the Makino upstairs was really the ugly-ass villain in disguise and how Coby upstairs was Mr. 13.

 

Meanwhile, Hexason, the ugly-ass villain mentioned earlier was upstairs in front of a big treasure chest.

 

“Finally,” he mused, “I finally found the legendary One Piece! Now I'll be the pirate king and all will bow down to me!”

 

“Screw you!” Luffy spat, coming up from the sewers, “I'm going to be pirate king!”

 

Hexason gasped in shock and shouted, “Who would have guessed that you two would manage to make it through the easiest part of the adventure? WHO?”

 

Then, he let out a deep laugh and said, “It doesn't matter because now I am in possession of the queen. Come out, Nico Robin!”

 

With that, the sexiest character in One Piece emerged from her room. The only problem was that she was now as fat as Alvida used to be and had huge lips.

 

“EW!” the two heroes spat, “THAT'S DISGUSTING! YOU'RE A BARBARIAN, YOU KNOW THAT?”

 

“Yes, I certainly am,” Hexason replied, “and now I say tootles and farewell, because she is going to beat you with her new Southern Accent! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

 

It was true. The fatass opened her fat mouth and shouted, “THE STARS ARE BRIGHT ALL DAY AND NIGHT OUT IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!”

 

This dealt around 900 damage, but since these two didn't follow RPG rules, even 0 HP wasn't enough for them to lose. Lusopp simply fired one of his sleep pills from TV special 2 and put the fat queen to sleep.

 

After that, Makino and Coby returned to the top floor and examined the queen.

 

“This is a travesty!” Makino cried, “Our queen used to not only sound sexy, but she WAS sexy! I had a deep attraction towards her!”

 

Luffy just blinked and said, “I didn't know Makino was a lesbian.”

 

“Yeah,” Lusopp replied, “I thought she was the one who married Dragon and gave birth to you.”

 

The two sighed and listened to the story behind the One Piece. It just so happens that whoever has the One Piece can become the pirate king. Apparently, there has to be a woman with a beautiful voice in your crew for the One Piece to accept you, so they stole Vivi's voice to fool it into thinking there was a hot girl in the crew.

 

Suddenly, Robin awoke for two seconds and uttered, “Generic Chicken Little pun,” and fell asleep again seconds later.

 

Anyway, the heroes were awarded a free pass to the famous Grogola reserve to get free grog that was also said to have the power to recover Robin from her state. Now they just had to return alive with the grog. This was no simple task, but somebody had to do it. Sadly, it just had to be somebody and they were the only ones present with actual fighting skills. Everyone else was useless; accept for Coby who's now a kickass handsome marine! God bless you, Oda! You turned a sucky character good!