One Piece Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Mario D. Luffy and Captain Lusopp ❯ The Trials of Mount Hohoho in a Nutshell ( Chapter 3 )

Luffy and Usopp

 

The duo had just entered a strange village in the mountains called Hohoho Village. (Well, it is NEARING Christmas) It was filled with all kinds of funny-looking people. Of course, all people in OP look funny, but just bare with it.

 

The only difference between this village and most others was that everyone wore a cactus costume. Anyway, the two heroes walked along the lower path knowing that it would lead out of town.

 

They witnessed a terrifying sight as a marine stood in front of a gopher riding a vulture and said, “I won't let you pass! You have sworn one too many times to be allowed out of this village! I have to send you to our prison… even though we don't particularly have one.”

 

“Screw you!” Mr. 13 retorted spitting a bunch of watermelon seeds at the man. Yeah, the marines in the grand line are really weak, so even watermelon seeds can beat them.

 

Then, he placed a giant stone statue in the way and said, “I know you're watching this, Mario D Luffy and Lusopp! If you want to pass, you'll have to defeat this stone soldier from the MAR series! Can you handle it?”

 

Luffy shrugged and, with meager effort, took the stone knight down in one blow.

 

Mr. 13 let down a sweat drop as Luffy glared at him and asked, “Did you honestly think that you could beat us with a guy that a Kendama could defeat?”

 

Mr. 13 grumbled and summoned a statue of Captain Morgan.

 

“NO!” Luffy wined, “HE REMADE HIS STATUE OUT OF GOLD? I CAN'T DESTROY GOLD! IT'S WORTH MONEY!”

 

Lusopp grinned and said, “It's okay. We can just move it out of the way and sell it at a pawn shop for 100,000,000,000 berries.”

 

“We can't,” Luffy replied, “These retards don't have shop. It makes you wonder where they get their food from.”

 

Then, they walked back up to the top and entered a random house in front of a broken bridge. They noticed two slim men standing in the middle pounding away at a rock using their swords. In the end, they cut the rock in half.

 

“DAMMIT!” cursed the one with the flat top, “Even I, Johnny, can't turn this rock into a bulldozer!”

 

“I feel your pain,” the other one wearing a helmet said, “Even I, the great Yosaku, cannot do this one task.”

 

Lusopp stared in confusion and asked, “Um… are you trying to make bulldozers out of stone using swords?”

 

“Yes,” Yosaku replied, “Our friend, Roronoa Zoro, does it all the time with his curse blade.”

 

“I've heard of him,” Lusopp replied, “He does it so well because he uses three sword and not one. Besides, it would be easier if you used hammers.”

 

Lusopp handed the two his unique brand of Usopp Hammers. The two admired the hammers as Johnny gazed into his and asked, “How does it work?”

 

Lusopp rolled his eyes, slapped his forehead and uttered, “Just pound it against something, you idiots!”

 

The two pounded the hammer against a table and turned it into a miniature dollhouse. Yosaku bowed down to the long-nosed warrior and said, “Thank you so much for teaching us this great knowledge! You are a godsend!”

 

Luffy then remembered something very important and asked, “Can you two make us a bulldozer? We have to move a gold statue without destroying it.”

 

“We sure can!” the two replied, “But we're out of materials. Can you go through dangerous climates and various monsters just so you can climb to the top of that mountain across the bridge, which should be fixed by now, and bring us a rock from the top?”

 

“Why from the top?” Lusopp remarked, “We already have a lot of rocks on the ground.”

 

Johnny nodded and explained, “The reason for this is because we're perfectionists, so we have to always use a certain type of rock for our structures. I hope this won't bother you.”

 

Luffy was about ready to kick the swordsman in the face when Lusopp grabbed onto his arms and dragged him away from the area.

 

Anyway, the two went outside and noticed that the bridge hadn't been fixed yet. Luffy then remembered the technique those two cosplayers had taught him. He used Gomu-Gomu no Hammer on Lusopp and used it to slam him onto the other side. Then, Lusopp fired his Usopp Hook onto the side of the cliff and Luffy happily crossed it.

 

“That is the last time we ever use these abilities for that kind of purpose,” Luffy stated, “You know, this kinda pisses me off because there was an easier way of doing that.”

 

Anyway, the two went through the mountain running into all kinds of danger along the way. They ran into pirates dressed up as beans and skeleton pirates. After going through all of that, they noticed for the first time a water fountain in the wall.

 

Luffy sucked the water into his mouth turning him into Water Luffy as Lusopp readied his hammer.

 

“WAIT!” Luffy retorted as Lusopp was about to pound his ally on the head, “What the hell do you think you're doing? I don't need you to pound me in order to release my water!”

 

This was proven as Luffy shot a bubble into a fire creature causing a tornado to appear out of its head. They didn't even use the tornado. Instead, Luffy used Gomu-Gomu no Rocket to boost himself to the fifth level.

 

Here, they met Blueno who challenged them to a random battle. He frequently used his door techniques to hide behind various doors, but the duo soon figured out his weakness. After going Gear Second on the man's ass, Luffy had defeated him with minimal help from Lusopp.

 

Anyway, they went through more levels of the incredibly long mountain and finally reached the top. They went around a corner and noticed a giant egg with a bird resting on top of it.

 

The bird, who also resembled a horse, looked up and said, “Bonjour, my name is Pierre. What are you doing here, mon amis?”

 

Luffy glared and replied, “We are NOT your friends! Can we have that rock in front of your egg?”

 

Suddenly, a rock fell on the bird's head as he exclaimed, “SACRES BLEU! I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING! I LIVE IN HOHOHO VILLAGE AND I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS EUPH THAT ISN'T MINE FOR DEUX WEEKS! THE OTHERS MUST BE WORRIED SICK!”

 

Then, he turned into a Pegasus and flew off as the egg he was guarding hatched into a beautiful baby dragon that really looked like he was 60 years old. (Think of the dragon from the Apis arc)

 

He gazed at Luffy with a senile look and stuffed him into his mouth.

 

“YOU BASTARD!” Lusopp spat, “I'LL KILL YOU!”

 

With that, he fired a Salsa Star into the dragon's mouth causing it to spew out flames and spit out Luffy along with a rock that fell into a nearby waterfall and ended up falling down Yosaku and Johnny's chimney for some reason.

 

Luffy then punches the dragon in the face as it spit something up and fell off the side of the cliff.

 

The figure landed on the ground with a thud and said, “Finally, I've been saved!”

 

Then, the man looked at his saviors and complained, “Oh, why didn't a pretty girl save me? I KEEP TELLING THAT WORLD THAT I'M NOT GAY! I LOVE NAMI-SAMA!”

 

Luffy punched the man in the face and spat, “SCREW YOU! NAMI'S MY BITCH!”

 

The man then blinked, bowed down to Luffy and said, “Sorry for my behavior. I didn't realize that you were Mario D. Luffy. I just have one thing to ask you… WHY DIDN'T YOU PAY THE BILL WHEN YOU ATE AT MY RESTAURANT THAT ONE TIME?”

 

“I DON'T HAVE MONEY!” Luffy retorted and then asked, “Can I have another one of your meals? I'm hungry.”

“Wait…” Lusopp said, “I know who this is! This is the legendary chef, Prince Sanji!”

 

“YOU'RE A PRINCE?” Luffy retorted, then pulling out a bunch of berries said, “I guess I have to pay you in order to avoid your kingdom's wrath since I am supposed to go there at least ten times to complete this stupid adventure.”

 

Sanji grinned and took the money saying, “Happy to be of service! Anyway, I'll be taking my leave, but I want you to keep this rose as a symbol of my appreciation for paying me! Be sure to give this rose to Nami if you see her and tell her that it was from me so she'll dump your ass and marry a hero!”

 

Luffy took the rose and said, “I'll tell her that it was picked by me and that I never met you! How does that sound?”

 

Then, with that, they went back to the village, got their brand new bulldozer and accidentally destroyed it after moving the statue and finding a random pawn shop to sell it at. They got 100,000,000,000 berries for the statue. Next, they took a mine cart through a cave and received 12 lousy diamonds made of plastic and were on their way.