One Piece Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Mario D. Luffy and Captain Lusopp ❯ We Hate that Damn Seahorse ( Chapter 2 )

Luffy and Usopp

 

Luffy awoke in a strange field full of grey and space-like props. He looked around and called, “USOPP, WHERE ARE YOU? WE HAVE TO GET GOING! STOP DREAMING ABOUT SEX WITH KAYA!”

 

Then, he noticed a pair of tiny thin girly legs sticking out of the ground. He knew right away that these belonged to Lusopp.

 

He pulled the man out of the ground as Lusopp coughed up a bunch of dirt and explained everything about the dream he had. Mario D. Luffy didn't care and bended his nose like a girder.

 

Then, the two walked along, picking up over 200,000,000 berries on the way, and noticed a man's butt sticking straight out of a cannon.

 

Luffy pulled him out and sighed, “Oh, it's just you, Crocodile.”

 

Then, Luffy smugly stuck him right back into the cannon, only now his head was sticking out. Then, a fat dragon, make that seahorse, with wings flew into the scene and laughed.

 

“I see some prey has fallen into my cannon!” he mocked, “Now I can steal his memories and become even BIGGER! I AM A DRAGON!”

 

“NO YOU'RE NOT!” Lusopp retorted, “YOU'RE A SEAHORSE! DRAGONS ARE COOL, YOU'RE NOT!”

 

“WHAT?” the seahorse retorted, “Well, I have never been more insulted in all my life. Ho-Hum! What-what? Talley-ho! Spoon full of sugar! Tea! Scones! Monty Python!”

 

Luffy raised his hands happily in the air and shouted, “I LOVE MONTY PYTHON!” (I do too)

 

With that, the seahorse cleared his throat, stupidly releasing some of his stolen memories and reducing in size, and stated, “Anyway, I must say, aren't you the handsome one, Mr. Straw Hat? Your partner looks like a duck, though. Anyway, you must want to free your friend so I don't steal his memory.”

 

“Not really,” Luffy replied, “but I guess I have to in order to stop you from blocking our path, so why not?”

 

The seahorse nodded and said, “Well, it'll cost you 100 quid. Can you suffice to that?”

 

Luffy checked the berries he had snagged and decided that all of them would equal at least 100 `quid' and handed the whole sack over to the seahorse. (Unwillingly, might I add?)

 

“Let us see here old chaps,” he said, taking out a calculator, “If I square this number and multiply it by… oh, hell, Grand Line currency doesn't follow the law of reality, so I'll just claim that this high amount of money equals exactly 100 quid! Alas, I will not release your friend.”

 

“Oh well,” Luffy replied, “It was worth a shot. Wait… I SACRIFICED MY MONEY FOR NOTHING? YOU SON OF A…”

 

“Please…” the seahorse replied, “Do not swear in my humble home. This whole area is called `No Swear Zone' where swearing will get you sent to prison.”

 

Luffy grumbled a quiet swear under his breath and the seahorse heard it and lunged towards him.

 

Then, a battle transition took place! WHEE!

 

Luffy looked at his surroundings and cursed, “DAMMIT! Oh well, at least Usopp is going to help me this time.”

 

It was true. Lusopp was standing in the middle of the area looked at his surroundings and asking, “How did I end up in this fight?”

 

It didn't matter. The seahorse fired a small mind-controlled kid out of his mouth at the group. Luffy simply dodged the blow.

 

Lusopp calculated his enemy and shouted, “I'VE GOT IT! IF WE CAN DEPLETE HIM OF HIS STOLEN MEMORIES, HE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIGHT!”

 

Then, he pulled out a hammer and bashed the seahorse a good on the head causing blue smoke to escape.

 

Luffy then shouted, “GOMU-GOMU NO BAZOOKA!” and slammed the heels of his hands into the sea creature's chest causing it to lose all the stolen memories and revert back to a tiny state.

 

“DAMN!” he cursed, “I DON'T WANNA BE TINY!”

 

Luffy grinned wickedly and said, “If you leave and tell me where I can find some good cash, I won't tattle to the authorities about that fact that you swore.”

 

“WHAT?” the seahorse retorted, “DAMN ISN'T A SWEAR, IT'S JUST A WORD PARENTS DECIDED WAS BAD!”

 

Alas, he was defeated, so he flew off and left a note behind saying `Take the path to the bottom right side of the screen to find mass gold and riches beyond your wildest dreams'.

 

Luffy grinned and ran into the area with Lusopp following in hot pursuit. Sure, they had somehow received money from beating the seahorse, but this area would have a lot more.

 

Well, they managed to get 500,000,000 berries and beat up over 50 enemies when they ran into a duo of people who looked just like them. They taught the duo a useless combo technique in which you wind Luffy uses Gomu-Gomu no Hammer on Lusopp and throws him onto top of a higher distance. They also taught Luffy how to use it in battle.

 

Meanwhile, the one who looks like Lusopp taught the real Lusopp how to use his Usopp Hook to climb up walls and also how to take advantage of the invisible ceiling that came with every Mario game and attack with that skill.

 

Then, the duo collected 400,000,000 berries from a block that could only be acquired by completing the training challenge and was off.

 

Then, they came back to the area Crocodile was in as the man grimaced and spat, “WHERE WERE YOU? I'VE BEEN TRAPPED UP HERE ALL THIS TIME AND YOU IGNORED ME!”

 

Then, the man who looked like Lusopp came out of an elevator in the ground and shouted, “SHUT UP! I'VE HEARD ALL THE SWEARS YOU'VE BEEN SAYING UP HERE, AND I HIGHLY DISAPPROVE OF IT! THEREFORE, I SHALL USE MY MATCH TO LIGHT THIS CANNON AND SEND YOU FLYING INTO THE DISTANCE!”

 

Then, he lit the cannon and sent Crocodile flying into the distance.

 

Luffy jumped up and down and asked, “Can you fly me out of the cannon? It'll speed up our progress!”

 

The man looked at him and replied, “I already did you one favor, so you have to take the hard long way to Chateau de Popon!”

 

With that, the duo sighed and walked through a cave leading to the entrance to some village.

 

As they attempted to answer, a trio of guards halted them and shouted, “HALT, I SAY! YOU CANNOT PASS BECAUSE I AM A HOMELESS BUM WHO GIVES INTO THE SYSTEM!”

 

“What did we do?” Lusopp retorted as a guard pointed to Luffy and shouted, “I HEARD THAT GENTLEMAN SWEARING!”

 

Then, the seahorse rode in, bruised and bandaged reporting, “Sir! He did swear, but it was very quiet and he was able to beat me up! You don't wanna mess with him!”

 

The guards decided that this was a legit excuse and let them pass.