Original Poetry Fan Fiction ❯ Poems ❯ To Fight One-Self ( Chapter 22 )

To Fight One-self







When I look into the mirror,
I see her staring back at me.
It is she without fear,
She's grown to have a morbid type of happy.


In my dreams I see her looking back,
I scream for her to stop.
The power that she holds is the power that I lack,
With wickedness in her eyes I hear a shot.


As I lay awake at night,
I see her in the dark.
She's the reason people scream with fright,
In my shame I try to tear myself apart.


She grasps my soul,
Telling me what I want to really hear.
It's not hard for me to become her tool,
It's her that I truly fear.


I trapped her inside of me to only see,
So that no one else would ever get hurt.
Making an oath to never set her free,
Though I knew I would end up with my face in the dirt.


Now she's fighting her way out,
The craving of blood and revenge is far too great.
As I watch her slash at me I shout,
"Get back! Get back to where you came!"


With the look of Hell in her eyes,
She only smiles at me.
"You had your chance to fly,
Now it's time for the reign of agony."


How can I stop who shares the same body?
What can I possibly do to keep her in?
There's nothing, as I sit on a dead tree of mahogany,
It's not like I can throw her in a bin.


I thought if I kept her away,
Then I can finally get farther in my life.
But now she's back with hate and she won't sway,
Barging back with that bloody knife.


I look up at the black clouds above,
No one can fight this battle with me now.
It's me against myself and no one will help with a push or shove,
It's just me now...but how?


She wasn't all that bad,
In fact everyone loved who she was.
But I know how she lost all that she had,
On the day that she found out because...


All that she onced loved was gone,
Her trust, her love, her joy...perished.
The pure soul blackened at the end of her innocent song,
What she loved died along with what she cherished.


When no one was there,
All I could for her was to keep her hidden.
She fought me through but I kept her in me with care,
Eversince she's slept and it wasn't such a burden.


Now...she wants out to wreak her hate,
I can tell she wants out because she gives me tormenting thoughts.
She's at the opening gate,
Cutting..slashing..demanding with everything she's got.


I close my eyes, I see her glare,
All she wants to do is be set free.
But if I do that...Hell hath no fury with her deadly stare,
There will be no day for the mortal eye to see.


With daily life stress,
And a relationship that I pray to work.
I cannot afford to ruin all so I remain in a state of depress,
All just so others will never hurt.


Her thoughts consist of blood,
Only the blood of those who once tore her heart.
She wants to get to them with a gun,
And let them feel their skin being ripped apart.


With everything I have,
I will keep her back.
She hates me now but soon even she'll be glad,
I will win, it's a fact.


Though i'm not allowed to show it,
I'm terrified and there's no where for me to hide.
My stomach knots to a pit,
How can I fight when i'm supposed to show pride?


That's when she comes to me and whispers,
"Let me free, and i'll keep you safe."
I know better...but...I can't help but shiver,
Even I know there's no such thing of a safe place.


In this fight alone I will get out,
She will never be free.
I won't cry and i've never had to pout,
This is mine, this life is mine, but not even my other side can own me.