Original Stories Fan Fiction / Romance Fan Fiction ❯ Unnatural Love ❯ Realizing Feelings ( Chapter 1 )

It's not normal. This isn't right. I shouldn't feel this way. He is my brother.

 

Ever since I turned 14, I have been looking at my brother differently. He is only two years older than I am. The first time I looked at him, actually looked, it was his 16th birthday.

 

We were swimming in our pool in the backyard. I watched him climb up the steps to get out of the water. When his body emerged from the water, I saw he had become muscular. Then I watched as tiny droplets ran down his tanned, well-toned chest. He slicked his hair back, running his hands through his hair, to brush his auburn hair from his face. I saw his hair had gotten longer, now a little past his shoulders. Then I glanced up meeting his brown eyes.

 

I instantly felt embarrassed. He just kept looking at me and then he laughed, “What? Are you staring at me, Todd?” His grin widened.

 

“Umm…I-I was j-just…” I stuttered. I took a few seconds to think, “You look nice, I mean, you've got muscles.” I felt like hitting myself. Could I sound any stupider?

 

“Uhh…thanks,” he said awkwardly, “I started taking a weight lifting class. I guess working my ass off finally paid off.” He ended with a laugh.

 

I decided to change the subject, as I got out of the pool I said, “We should probably get our showers taken, it's already nine o'clock. I reek of chlorine.” I was now standing in front of him.

 

“Nah. You smell wonderful.” At this we both laughed, and then he playfully punched my arm. He started toward the house, and all I could do was watch him walk ahead of me. My heart was racing. I took a few seconds to watch him glide across the lawn, and then I followed.

 

Once we were inside, we said goodnight to our parents and headed upstairs.

 

He looked at me and smiled. We said goodnight simultaneously. I watched him go to his room, which was across the hall from mine, and when he shut his door I went in my room and closed my door.

 

That was the first time I ever looked at him like that. I learned I loved him more than a brotherly way. With each passing week, it began to get harder to hide my feelings.

 

I knew it was wrong, and I was ashamed of my feelings and desires. I couldn't stop the way I was feeling. If I kept going on like this, he would soon find out.

 

I went from just thinking about him, to watching him, to wanting him. But I am sure if I told him my feelings, he would be disgusted with me. I don't think I could stand to not have him around. I would miss his smile, his laugh, and him even talking to me.

 

I care too much; love him to much, to ever do that to him. I don't want to ruin what we have. Therefore, I will never tell him. Even though I promised myself this, I knew I would eventually cave.

 

Yaoi-Freak1990- It was a weird start, I know. Next chapter will be better, I promise. Review and tell me what you think. Thanks.