Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Cold Warmth ❯ Arora ( Chapter 6 )

 

Arora

 

 

As soon as I got home I collapsed on my bed, today was another crazy day. Luckily I have tomorrow off.

As I lay there in my bed I think about those gorgeous blue eyes.

They weren't nearly as cold as they were when I first saw him, and that knowledge made my heart feel very warm.

It infuriated me that he has this effect on me.

I have had many guys I've worked there that have had some sort of crush on me, or that I found eye pleasing. And yes I have felt lustful feelings for a handful of them, but they were quickly squashed by my outrage I felt for letting myself feel those feelings.

I always stayed a good distance away from men; because I couldn't stand the idea of being so intimate with a man when the only one I ever cared about went crazy and tried to kill me.

My way of coping was to stay clear of guys.

But that plan seemed to be getting hazy when I thought of Jakobe.

Because when I thought of him I got this prickly feeling at the end of my fingertips, my whole body tingled, my heart raced, I felt lightheaded, all of this happening at the same time.

And this amazing horrible feeling was all happening at the exact same time. I was trying to hate it, to ignore it, but my heart wouldn't allow that. Which is crazy because I have always been able to forget about some stupid lustful feeling by the next day, and the guy wouldn't even have a clue that I felt them.

These feelings he was causing me were kind of different from the feelings that Braden had given me.

I mean other than the lust that was annoyingly obvious, and the rush of adrenaline when I thought about daringly ignoring my conscience and going for it, these other emotions were kind of new to me, and so exhilarating.

The daredevil in me desperately wanted to go to his place and just pounce on him with my body.

But my brain knew that that would cause me so much turmoil on the inside.

Damn him!

But I couldn't hate him. But sure as hell can ignore him!

Thinking of Bradley always made me feel like my heart was going to jump out of my chest, but at the same time make me look at my surroundings out of fear.

I hated him. I feared him. And yes part of me did love him.

And because of the part of me that loved him I always felt nervous, excited, scared, desire, and hatred.

My thoughts were crammed into the back of my brain when I heard a knock at the door.

“Arora, are you awake?” asked Crystal.

I sat up and stretched out the kinks in my body.

“Yep, I'm awake, what's up?” I said as I got up and opened the door.

Her eyes lit up and shouted “Hey you! I am about to go to this awesome party but Jack bailed on me! That whore said he promised his guyfriend that they would take him out to a strip club in the city! So now I am going to a party with no date, will you please come with me?!”

I really wanted to say no, because I was about to pass out from sleep, but she looked like she really needed me, looking at me like she knew I would go if she gave me the puppy dog look, and she was right.

So I exasperatedly said, “yea, sure, just let me get ready.”

“Yay! Thank you so much, I'll see you in a sec!” she ran off to her bathroom to primp no doubt.

I threw on some blue skinny jeans, a long sleeve purple shirt with a hood, some black boots that were knee high.

I let my long wavy brown hair down; it came to the middle of my back. Painted my nails black, put some heavy black eyeliner around my eyes, some mascara, and lip shiner.

I felt very exhausted and tired, but you couldn't figure that out by looking at me, I looked pretty good.

Instead of feeling vain when I thought I looked pretty, I felt wishful, wishful that Jakobe might see me tonight and think I looked good.

Maybe I should give him a call and invite him to the party I thought giddily.

No my conscience told me, bad idea, if you drink to much you might sleep with him, and hate yourself in the morning. I sighed knowing I was right.

But I also didn't realize that Crystal got into my calling list and called some of my friends along with hers to the party. I was outraged, but I didn't want to upset her when she looked so happy.

So through tight lips I said, “What friends of mine are coming tonight?”

I mean I couldn't really be mad at her, she didn't know anything, she didn't know about my past, she doesn't know about my inner turmoil, or that I am trying to avoid Jakobe.

And I wasn't going to tell her I was trying to avoid him, because she will probably want to know why, and I didn't want her knowing my secret, or knowing that I was keeping secrets from her. Because she is my best friend, and I am hers, so if she knew I was keeping secrets she would not be happy.

“I couldn't get a hold of any of them, so I left a message for Jeff, Jakobe and a few other guys.”

She looked at me and gave me a flirtatious smile indicating why she only called the guys.

But instead of feeling relief that she didn't get a hold of Jakobe, I felt disappointed.

But my disappointment quickly turned to shock and nervousness when I saw his car parked on the road.

As I got out my heart was beating like crazy, scanning the crowd trying to find him.

“Jakobe is here.” I said through numbed lips.

“That is great, where is he? It would be nice to meet a guy friend, seeing as you never bring a guy home.” She said giggling at her own joke.

The look on my face must have indicated something of my feelings about him, because she said, “ of course he is all yours, I just want to say hi.”

I didn't say anything; I was to nervous and looking for him. But if she could tell my feelings for him on my face, I needed to hide them better than that.

But what's the worst that could happen?

That inner question made me have a war with myself.

Because it could cause me emotional pain, relive a trauma, I could get all depressed and scare him away!

Just let yourself have fun, enjoy this, and enjoy the company of another. You have behaved for so long you deserve this one time.

For some reason that sounded like the best idea I had ever heard, and then I spotted him, helping out with the drinks.

I walked over there trying to not feel as nervous and clumsy as I was.

“So looks like your work is never done.” I said as I winked at him.

Really did I just wink at him, how stupid!

He looked delighted to see me, which made my heart jump!

He laughed and said, “yea, I was just trying to help out, they wanted to learn something new and saw me doing some tricks at the bar last night.”

He turned to the other guys “Speaking of which I think it is time to give it a shot yourselves!”

He handed off whatever he was doing, and the guy who took over did an awful uncoordinated version of what Jakobe did flawlessly.

I held my left arm with my left hand feeling very self-conscious.

Which I hated feeling like that for any guy. So I put my arms down and tried being confidant. I might need a boost I thought heading to the drinks, with Jakobe right behind me.

I got some absolute vodka and filled it halfway in the foam cup and mixed it with some cranberry juice.

A quick glance at Jakobe let me know he was watching me like I was the most interesting thing in the world.

Trying to be cool I downed my drink so fast automatically getting dizzy and almost falling backwards.

I knew I was going to fall, but those amazing arms caught me again.

His touch made my heart race faster than I would have thought it could, made my skin feel prickly, my fingertips went numb. I felt so amazing.

But I wouldn't open my eyes this time, I couldn't look at his wonderful eyes, I knew I would fall into them, and lose myself. I couldn't let that happen no matter how much I desperately wanted to!

Finally I was on my feet again.

“You fall a lot don't you?” he asked as I opened my eyes.

He looked so intrigued.

I laughed nervously and said, “Sadly yes, I am a bit of a clutsy person.”

I could already feel the alcohol going to my head, I did not think about the fact that I was a bit sleep deprived. So the alcohol was working its way through my system much more quickly then I would have liked.

And I when drunk you always say what you are thinking, why didn't I think this one through?!

And seeing, as I didn't want anyone knowing what I was thinking, I knew I was going to hate myself tomorrow.

“You have such pretty blue eyes.” I said out of nowhere.

He looked surprised, and said, “You really did fill your cup with a lot of alcohol didn't you?”

“Hahaha ya I did.” I said as I was pushing my body towards his.

His eyes told me that I was not the only one being consumed by lust.

That look made my whole body fill up with heat, passionate sexy heat.

I was playing with his buttoned up black shirt and said, “You know we can always go to my place, my roommate it going to be out for a while…”

That smoldering look he was giving me was so damn hot, that I couldn't help myself anymore! I could enjoy myself just this once, how bad can it get?

My hand was on the back of his neck and I pulled him into a very passionate kiss.

He hands were roaming around my back, rubbing my lower back, his left hand pausing on the outside of my thigh.

Our lips were devouring one another, our tongues exploring the others mouth. He tasted like pineapple and cherry.

His hands were all over my back, he was driving me crazy, and I wanted his hands all over the front of my body!

I started trying to talk while keeping our mouths together, “You know, instead of going to my place I am sure they have a room somewhere upstairs.”

I could tell from his kiss that he really wanted my body as much as I wanted his.

That's why I was a little taken back when he grabbed my hips and pushed some distance between us.

I made a small cry of protest, giving my best pouty face.

He really did look apologetic, but also like he was holding something back.

I knew he wanted to have sex just as badly as I did, I could see it in the bulge in his pants, which made me want him all the more.

But most of all I could see in his eyes that he wanted me so bad, so why wouldn't he take me?!

“I really do want this, you have no idea how bad I want this. But I think it would be a better idea if we waited to do this until your sober. I really don't want you to regret anything that happens. And I really don't want to take advantage of you while your wasted.

So I am going to go, and I will see you at work tomorrow.”

He looked, regretful, doubtful, and confused by what he was doing.

But hell so was I, I mean God I was practically throwing myself at him. And he told me he wasn't going to take advantage of me? Didn't he realize that made me want him all the more?!

I watched longingly as he drove off.

I knew I was going to hate myself in the morning.