Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Cold Warmth ❯ Arora ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Arora

I woke up that morning with a headache, I felt like my head was going to explode. I got up to get some Tylenol and a glass of water. I brushed my teeth, and headed towards the kitchen. I needed to get something to settle my stomach but thinking of food made me feel sick to my stomach and hungry at the same time. Going into the kitchen I saw Crystal in the living room watching the news. She was laying on her boyfriend Jack's lap. “We were wondering when you'd crawl out of bed sleeping beauty.” shouted Crystal grinning at me. I flipped her off laughing at her. I reached in the cabinet and grabbed some Blueberry pop-tarts. “I have to be at work at three today anyways, no sleeping in late for me.” I stated. “No you don't you have today off, you don't go to work until Monday, I checked just in case I should wake you up.” she said shaking her head with a grin. I sighed, I always do that. But thinking of work reminded me of Jakobi and thinking of Jakobi made me remember all the events that took place last night. As soon as I remembered how I threw myself at him I started blushing, my heart pounding in my chest. I was wasted last night and I wanted him so badly, I even kissed him! Thinking of that kiss my fingertips felt all tingly. I breathed in a shaky breathe. Now I remembered that even though I was throwing myself at him, he turned me down. Remembering that I felt disappointed, foolish, unattractive, embarrassed. I mean I'm glad we didn't now, but the fact that he told me no, I just felt idiotic and childish. My feelings for him weren't just lust, I cared for him to. I was happy when he was happy. And the fact that he didn't want me, that he told me no, I just felt inadequate, not good enough. I felt my eyes tear up. I breathed in a few shaky breathes to calm down, a lump forming in my throat. Crystal wasn't looking at me thank God. I walked to my room and sat on my bed feeling numb. How could I let myself have feelings for anyone, it always ended badly, haven't I learned? I just felt sad, and rejected. Some of the events last night were hazy, but the kiss and the rejection were very clear to me. I remembered that he worked today. I didn't want any guy to know that they had this type of effect on me. Especially one that told me no. I now felt relieved that he told me no, but my pride was hurt nonetheless. I remembered that he works today. I decided I was going to go to the bar tonight, and make him wish he never rejected me. I spent most of the day goofing off with Crystal and Jack trying to ignore rejections sting. They agreed to come with me to the bar and hang out. As soon as six o'clock came around I started getting ready to go to the bar. I got a sexy skimpy black lace shirt that tied in the back, dark blue skinny jeans, and sexy black boots that stopped before my knee. I put heavy black eyeliner on, mascara that made my eyes stand out. I also put on some light pink lip gloss. I put on some diamond earing's that I haven't worn in ages. I hated to be vain but I looked damn good, I was going to make Jakobi regret he ever turned me down. I walked to the living room full of self confidence. Crystal and Jack looked up at me both eyes jumping out of their sockets. “Crystal, I have never cheated on you but there is a first time for everything” joked Jack. Crystal punched him in the arm. She looked really pretty to, but she looked nice girl pretty, I looked like I was a nice girl who could be a very bad girl. She looked more comfortable, and I looked like I was going to go clubbing. Her and Jack have been dating for six months, she wasn't going out of her way to be sexy at this point. “You look damn sexy tonight, I might even buy you a drink.” she said laughing at her own joke. I started grinning and then laughing, nothing like friends to help make you feel better. As soon as we got to the bar, I started feeling that maybe I did dress overly sexy. But I had a mission. My friends had already gone into the bar, I told them I would catch up in a second. I opened the mirror in my car thinking “Will he think I'm pretty enough, or that I'm good enough.” looking in the mirror I wished with all my heart that maybe I would be good enough. I wasn't going to let him know I felt inadequate. But rarely did people know what was going on in my heart. I breathed in deeply and put on my sexiest face, making sure I looked super confident and walked to the bar. As soon as I stepped inside the scent of smoke and food enveloped me, it was so familiar. I smiled walking towards the bar. I caught sight of Jakobi and my heart started pounding and I felt hot, I hoped I wasn't blushing. He was just to damn gorgeous, he has bright blond hair and those bright blue eyes. He was dressed in black pants and midnight blue sweater. I looked away as soon as I saw him, he wasn't allowed to know he has such an effect on me. I saw Jeff and smiled again. “Hey how is everything going tonight.” I asked. He seemed at a lost for words for a second, just looking at me up and down. I never dressed this sexy before. Finally he said, “Fine, just kind of slow tonight surprisingly. And look we haven't burned the place down!” he laughed. He was making fun of me, that whore! “For now.” I said laughing as I walked towards my friends. I passed Shelly. She was always a joker and I had to show Jakobi how popular I was, I needed him to be jealous. “Hey Shelly, whats going on tonight, I hear its been slow tonight.” I said. She looked me up and down and said “Ya but now that your here I'm sure business will pick up here pretty fast, I don't know whether to hit on you or put a one dollar bill in your bra!” she said jokingly. I laughed genuinely at her joke. She was always such fun, even her name tag showed she had some crazy since of humor. Instead of Shelly it said Hell, due to the fact she crossed out the S and Y in her name. “Depends how much I drink tonight.” I laughed. “Speaking of which can you get me a sex on the beach, that would be freaking amazing” I said my mouth watering over the thought. “Yep, ill be back in a Jiff.” she said laughing and walking away. I went and sat with my friends joking over silly things we've done in the past. Finally my drink got there and sadly Shelly wasn't the one who brought it to me. When I went to grab my drink It was bright blue eyes that I saw. Again I had that feeling like I could fall into them. “How are you doing today, you didn't get to bad of a hangover today did you?” Jakobi said. I didn't know if he told anyone what happened last night but I had a feeling he didn't. His smile for me seemed genuinely affectionate. It softened my heart a little. I took my drink from him still looking into his eyes and noticing how close he was to me. “I'm fine.” I said sounding out of breath when I was trying to sound bitchy. The silence of my friends is what made me look up, they were trying not to openly watch us. Looking at Jakobi again and remembering last night I felt the sting of rejection again. I looked away and took a drink. “My drink barely has any alcohol in it, do you mind getting me another one.” this time I did sound bitchy, I tried to avoid his eyes but out of the corner of my eye I could see that I verbally bitch slapped him. It made me feel triumphant and bad at the same time. I wanted to comfort him, but was to mad to do so. He took my drink and walked away. “What was that all about?” asked Jack Men were so oblivious at times. But Crystal looked at me curiosity written all over her face. “I don't know, I'm confused on how he feels. I like him but I don't think he likes me that way.” Crystal seemed surprised and appalled at the same time. “I'm sure he likes you, guys just have an odd way of showing it. Did you outright ask him if he likes you?” “Well I made how I felt pretty obvious and he turned me down.” I said trying not to look pitiful, God I wish I had a drink right now. Then my wish came true, and again Jakobi was the one to bring it. Planning on just taking my drink and ignoring him the rest of the night Crystal outright asked “Why did you turn my friend down last night?” she didn't sound nice but she didn't sound mean either. Thats Crystal for you blunt and straightforward, thats what I loved about her. But right now that was very annoying. “I-I didn't mean to hurt her feelings.” he looked right at me with concern in his eyes. “I just didn't think it would be right to be with her when she had so much to drink...” Now I looked at him shocked, I didn't think about that, it was my pride that was hurt, and I was angry, but I didn't think of his motives, I just thought he didn't like me. Crystal smiled. And again bluntly asked, “Do you like her?” If looks could kill she would have been dead. She just smiled and Jack was trying not to laugh. Earlier I was thankful for my friends, now I wanted to strangle them. “Yes, I do.” And with that he walked away. My friends and I just stared at each other and laughed. “I don't know what to say.” I said breathlessly. My heart was racing, I had insane butterflies. “Well he does like you the same way you like him, why don't you give him a shot?” asked Crystal. I don't think its that simple. I think knowing he cares about me made it that more confusing. I let Crystal and Jack take my car home. I decided I would get a ride from someone else. I needed to talk to Jakobi alone, I felt nervous just at the thought. After saying goodbye to everyone it was only Jakobi and me left in the bar. I was so nervous and my heart was racing. I've tried to stay away from him this whole time, I wanted to talk alone. I think he was trying to avoid me to. But now there was no avoiding this. There has been so much tension between us since he first started. The tension was palpable. “So...” I said, not really knowing what to say. “So...” He repeated. “Look I'm so sorry at how I acted, I didn't realize you had a reason for telling me no, and I shouldn't have acted like that, I am so sorry, I was such an idiot, I shouldn't have drank.” I hated rambling but I was so nervous. He just smiled at me, making my heart beat faster if thats possible. The look he was giving me made m feel like I might pass out, he was just to damn hott! “I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just couldn't take advantage of you like that.” he said walking towards me. I just silently nodded my head. What else could I do I acted like a fool, further embarrassed myself. Somehow he was already right in front of me, he grabbed my chin and lifted my face so that I was staring into those gorgeous bright blue eyes of his. Again I had that feeling like was falling. “But I don't know if you should get involved with someone like me.” he said sounding so sad. “The past doesn't matter, everyone has a past, some good some not so good.” my voice caught. I hoped he wouldn't notice. I hated my past. I never had much of a family and the only man I ever fell for tried to kill me. My heart was so broken I don't even know if there was any left to give. “Whoever that person is that hurt you so bad better hope I never find them.” he said with so much malice. I honestly though he would be capable of whatever it is he had in mind. It made me feel protected, secure, and afraid. “It's just know one knows my past, and you guessed a big part of it...” although he would never know the exact details. But suddenly, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him so badly, I needed to get this off my chest. And I have never felt so close to someone like this. I put my right hand on his cheek and said something I never thought I would say “We don't have to be in a relationship to be close you know. I'm not drunk this time, it's just you and me.” I never thought I could have sex with someone without being close to them, and I never thought I could be close to anyone again. But honestly I did feel close to him, I felt like we've known each other forever. I could see myself eventually telling him everything about my past, but that would be for another night. Tonight I just wanted to be close to him. His eyes looked hungry, and the way he looked at me made me feel hot. “I mean thats if you want to, I understand if you don't.” I said feeling sheepish. “Are you sure you want to get involved with a guy like me? I have a past that is not easy to run away from.” I thought about his words. And asked “Is it drugs?” “No.” he said bluntly. “Then I don't care, as long as you are drug free and care about me I don't care about your past.” I meant what I said, as much as I wanted to be with him tonight I wouldn't do so unless he truly cared about me. “Oh I care about you, you make me feel things I never thought I was capable of feeling. Your never far from my thoughts.” He said looking embarrassed for being so honest with me. And with those words I pulled him into a kiss, a kiss I never realized how I could live without. His lips completed me and when we went further He completed me. He made me feel wonderful. He was so gentle and loving, that thats when I new I have fallen in love again, and it scared the hell out of me. But I wasn't going to back down from this. I wasn't going to let the fear that Braden had left in me ruin my life, not anymore. I had fallen for Jakobi and I would not let fear drive me away from him. I am stronger than I was three years ago when Braden left me to die.