Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ First Second Date ❯ First Second Date ( One-Shot )

First Second Date

“Dude.” The word came out as a death threat. “Those. Aren't. Funny. Any. More.”

“Dude, they totally are,” Nicker shot back overenthusiastically. He was leaning back in his chair with a Twix bar hanging out of his mouth, mob-leader style. He then gestured towards his right hand man, Justin, urging for his support while his “cigar” flopped up and down ridiculously with his lips' movements. “Am I right?”

“Well,” Justin began, not looking away from his lunch, “they do get kinda old-”

“Oh, who asked you?” He leaned forward again, took the candy out of his mouth, holding it between his index and middle fingers, and stroked his chin with the opposite hand, drawing the lackluster attention of most of the table. “Okay, fine,” he began, his voice down a good five steps from his normal semi-yell, “I've got one that'll knock your socks off. I was gonna save it for my talent show act, but you've given me no choice. You know why?” He pointed in every direction around the table, meeting each person's unenthusiastic eyes before continuing. “Because if you don't respect Chuck Norris, you're dead. And so is your mom.”

There was a pause. Nicker kept his finger out, pointing in no particular direction with his standard, stupid smirk of his and waiting for the group to get it, while the other five guys at the table waited for the oncoming joke that never really came.

“I- I'm sorry. Was that the joke?” one guy finally broke the silence.

Nicker's grin faded into a grimace as quickly as his hand dropped back to the table with a loud smack. He then rolled his head towards the only one in the group pudgier than himself and shot him a death glare. “Yes, you ignoramus. That was the joke. But you wouldn't get it anyway, would you? Fat `tard…”

“So you just mixed a Chuck Norris joke with a your mom joke to try and revive them both?” Justin asked with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Laaaaaaaame,” another table member spoke up.

“Burn!” came from another.

“Shut- Just shutup,” Nicker hollered. “You wouldn't know good comedy if it came up and gave you hepatitis.”

“You wouldn't know good comedy if it came up and gave your mom hepatitis,” Justin added with a boyish grin.

“Burn!”

And so, the daily lunch conversation ensued. As his friends' bickering continued, Justin shoved a few fries in his mouth; he needed to eat pretty quickly or he wouldn't have time to finish his algebra homework that was due next period. Before he had a chance to swallow, he felt a playful tapping on his shoulder, making him turn in his chair. His face brightened when he caught a glimpse of the familiar girl standing behind him, and that warm, fuzzy feeling in his gut returned, the one that always seems to make hormonal teenage boys goof up epically. “Oh, hey Cate.” His words were muffled by the mouthful of fries, making him forcefully swallow them and cover his mouth in embarrassment.

“Hey,” she started mid-giggle, “are we still on for tonight?”

“Course,” Justin responded with a quick nod and a coy smile playing at the corners of his lips. “D'you think I'd cancel?”

“Nope. Just wanted to check that you weren't backing out on me after I paid for the first one.” Her grin changed from cheerful to taunting as she brought up that fact just to remind him. She was characteristically bubbly, the keyword many would use to describe her ever since she'd moved here this year, and also characteristically cute. She wasn't a supermodel, but she was still more than Justin would usually picture himself being with; having already committed to videogames and comic books, he didn't see much of the attractive female portion of the population as being in his league.

“Hey, don't hold that against me. I swear, I left my wallet in-”

“Oh, I know your side of the story already,” she teased, still beaming as she stood and began to turn around. She had what Justin thought of as a play-dough face: no matter what expression she had, her features just seemed to mold perfectly to embellish what she was feeling. Her current face, the mischievously smiling one, was probably his favorite. “Five o'clock, right?”

“Right,” Justin confirmed with a nod. “It won't be that long. We'll probably head over to the park at, like, 6:30.”

“Good. You better hit a homerun for me.” She left him with a wink, then sauntered back to her table on the other side of the commons. Justin could only smile and watch her move.

“…and your mom couldn't tell a Chuck Norris joke `cause her mouth was filled with my-”

“You leave my mom out of this and I'll leave this out of your mom.”

“I've heard that one, too.”

Justin had been briefly distracted from the now erupting war of your mom and Chuck Norris jokes, something he wasn't all that disappointed about. At least no one had noticed his and Cate's conversation. They had only gone on one date so far, where nothing serious happened for that matter, but he was sure that if anyone found out that they could possibly soon be an item, it would become a much bigger deal than it needed to be, like always. And like always, something horrible would happen. He gave a small, unnoticeable sigh and reached for his barely edible cafeteria-food cheeseburger. Guess we're still in the clear-

“Hey, what are you doing with Cate tonight?” -never mind. Justin turned his head violently towards the person sitting directly next to him, where the voice had come from. Reggie, the one black boy and certified “nerd” of the group, sat there, his brow scrunched as he eyed him with curiosity. Justin, in return, looked like he'd just been caught with his hand in his pants.

“Huh? Um… Cate?” He pointed in her direction as if to confirm whom he meant, just trying to waste just enough time to come up with some sort of credible answer. “Oh, her. Right. You know, nothing out of the usual. We, er- we're hanging out tonight after the baseball game, to… do a project.”

“Really?” Reggie now folded his arms behind his head and leaned backward in “gotcha” fashion, a sly smirk stretching along the side of his face. “And what class is this project for? `Cause, you know, the three of us have the same classes together.”

Justin didn't say a word. His lips opened like he was about to, but after a few more moments of dumbfounded silence, they pressed together in “you got me” fashion. Unfortunately, Reggie didn't keep it confidential for more than two seconds.

“Ah, so you have a date with Cate?”

“What?” came Nicker's overly loud voice. How he'd heard Reggie's voice over his own war of lame jokes, Justin hadn't the slightest clue. He now faced Nicker, and was slightly frightened by the guy's overly-excited-to-the-point-of-being-creepy expression. “You've got a Cate-date? I thought she was dating that Danny guy, the upper classman?”

“No, they broke up a while ago. Like, around homecoming,” Justin pointed out. He then gave a simple shrug like the date was nothing, hoping that the group would just buy his bluff and move on. “And, er, second, actually. We're just going over to-”

“Second?” Now Nicker was on the edge of his seat, literally, getting all too close to Justin's safety bubble. “Since when did you go on your first?”

“It was just last weekend-”

“Without the Nicker's help? Dude, how could you be so stupid? You're lucky she stuck around for the second one.” This garnered a few chuckles from the group and another lopsided grin from Justin.

“Yeeeeah, well… I finally kept one around for the second one, so I must've done something right. Besides, I don't remember asking for your help on my other dates…” Justin's grin transformed into a noticeable grimace as he recalled those other dates, then added, “…or you actually helping.”

Justin had been rather unsuccessful in his romantic life, being limited to only two single dates so far in his high school bout. Each was with a different girl, each ended horribly, and each involved the Nicker's “help”. The first one was a double date with his first big crush, Jessica, and Nicker and his “date”- Nicker's older sister. That one ended unsuccessfully when Justin, trying to shake some ketchup out of a stubborn bottle, accidentally spilled some on Jessica's skirt, which inclined Nicker to throw in a period joke and, to try and redeem himself afterward, accuse her of being a little “PMS-y” more than just once a month. The second date, one with a girl named Nikki, ended abruptly when Nicker thought it would be a good idea to show up at Justin's house dressed as a woman with balloon implants just to say, “Oh, whoops! Wrong Nick. You did a lot better than me, tiger.” Nikki, an insecurely small-breasted girl, took the lame joke as a sarcastic insult, smacked both boys, and then left the premises, leaving Nicker to ask if Justin thought she'd taken his bright blonde wig he'd bought as an insult to her intelligence.

Nicker fell back into his chair, rolled his eyes and threw his hands up while answering, “Oh, c'mon. Gimme a break, man. You keep making it hard on me-”

“That's what she said,” someone interrupted. Nicker shot him a threatening stare, then continued.

“…to help you out when you keep picking up snobbish girls who can't take a joke. How was I supposed to know that a simple period joke and an accidental boob-job reference were frowned upon by your chosen few?”

Justin was trying to think of something witty to respond with, but decided it wouldn't be worth it and shook his head disgustedly. “You don't really know women, do you, Nick?”

“That's Nicker to you, bub, and I know them just fine. They're like my own, personal home-dawgs, like those black guys say in the ghetto.”

“You don't really know black people, either,” Reggie muttered as he looked down to the table with an expression that read, “Please, shut up.” He was practically the only African American in the suburban, white school. He thought Nicker and the other guys funny and all, but Nicker's ignorance on racial issues- no, everything- often got on his nerves. Besides, Nicker and the gang were some of the only ones who would take in his nerdy type; his frail body and oversized spectacles got him plenty of Steve Urkel jokes from around the school. Not that Nicker wouldn't tell the jokes himself, but he didn't feel the need to follow them up by knocking his books out of his hand or the like.

“I know plenty, like how they like rap and bling and have big-“

“Nick.” Justin cut him off before he could hear what the self-proclaimed class clown was bound to say. He then quickly changed the subject back to the more important one at hand. “You aren't going to have anything to do with this date. At all. She'll be at our baseball game, then we're going to the park to hang out- and by we, I mean her and me. Alone. If you do one thing to mess this up, I swear-” Justin's defiant speech was cut off by the bell that signaled lunch's end, causing his features to melt into an expression of utter defeat. He sighed heavily and reached for his algebra book, finishing with a plea, “Just don't ruin this one for me, okay? This is a big one for me.”

“That's what she said.”

* * *

Justin hadn't been able to hit a homerun for his date so far. In fact, he'd gone 0-for-3 on the day, not getting a single turn on base for the girl who'd come out to watch him play in a community recreational game; not to say Cate hadn't been entertained. Earlier in the game, Nicker had hit a homerun over the left field fence and, when coming to home plate for the score, he leaped onto it and held his arms out for his “fans” before bowing gracefully. Soon after, a teammate came out and yelled, “That's my Nicker!” receiving Nick's due response of, “I'm your Nicker!” The umpire, a large black man in his early sixties, misunderstood the phrase, gave the two a short lecture on racial ignorance and threw them out of the game.

“Hey, not my fault the guy didn't get it,” Nicker pleaded his case with Cate as he sat in the stands beside her. “Some people are just too uptight, ya know?”

“Yeah.” Cate smiled as she said it, but it was a little difficult to tell if that was a real smile or simply her face scrunching from the sun behind Nicker blinding her. She wore an old Cincinnati Reds cap, which belonged to her dad, just for the occasion with her wavy brown hair hanging in a ponytail through the loop in the back. However, its bill wasn't quite enough to shield her eyes from the sun. She was glad she could squeeze in some tanning while watching, though, as she sat on the bleachers in jean shorts, a spaghetti strap tank top and flip flops. The oncoming summer felt great, and at last she'd lose her pale skin she loathed so much.

“You know, Justin's a funny guy,” Nicker began, looking out to the field now. “I mean, sure, he's not the most attractive guy on the block. Or the smartest. Or the biggest. Or even the best at baseball. Or-”

“You know, I'm right here,” Justin interrupted from the opposite side of Cate, still waiting for his turn to bat again. Cate simply giggled.

“Well, it's not like she's not gonna figure it out for herself sooner or later. I'm just giving her a heads up now so she doesn't dump you because of it later.” Both Justin and Cate were about to remind him that they weren't going out yet, but Nicker trudged forward, feeling that his friend was due a compliment to offset his own blunt honesty in front of his date. “This guy,” he pointed towards Justin, “is the master of pranks. He may be planning one for you tonight.”

“Whoa, what? No. Nick…” Nick's name came out in a tone like that of a mother's warning her baby to keep his hand out of the cookie jar.

Cate giggled her cute giggle again and shrugged, turning her head to look at her goaded crush. “Oh, so you're planning to pull a prank on me?”

Justin tried to deny it, but Nicker did just the opposite for him. “Ohhhh, yeah. Better watch out for this guy. I taught him everything he knows.” He smacked his friend on the knee and winked, triggering the disgruntled, but defeated, look that painted itself on Justin's face. Giving up now, Justin gave Cate a half-hearted grin, a short roll of the eyes, and a slow nod. “Well,” Nicker started as he stood from his bench to walk back to the dugout, “you two lovebirds have fun tonight- but not too much fun. Use protection!” He winked at them before fully turning around and ignorantly leaving them in a very awkward moment while he, rather loudly, grabbed Reggie's attention to make sure he still needed a ride after the game since his mom was gone.

“I, um- Just don't listen to what he says,” Justin stammered.

“Yeah. Yeah, I got that.” The two laughed awkwardly for a few moments, not looking at each other as their forced laughter changed into silence. Justin leaned forward, his arms resting in his lap to cover his now uncomfortably tight, thin white pants, and chose to watch a nearby tree's leaves sway with the breeze to get his mind off of his new, ill-timed thoughts. Cate decided to watch the game as the batter hit the ball and ran to first. A new batter took his place, and the coach began calling Justin's name from the dugout.

“Hey,” she said, turning her head to see him staring mindlessly at a tree and away from her, “I think you're up.”

“What? No I'm not- oh, you mean-” He kept leaning forward, giving a flustered laugh as he bought more time. “Right, yeah. Well, I'm only third; I've still got some time to kill. I can just, um, sit here…” his voice trailed off while Cate looked at him, puzzled.

“But shouldn't you practice?” she asked with a perplexed look. “You're not gonna nail it without some warm-up, you know. You can't get a homerun if you can't even make it to first base.”

Justin, of course, took her base reference the wrong way, only furthering his current problem. He cursed the thin material his uniform was made of as his coach yelled for him again.

“Justin, you're in the hole.”

“That's what Cate said!”

“Shut up, Nicker!”

Justin wasn't able to get a hit for his girl after all as he was also ejected from the game soon after that.

* * *

“That umpire probably thinks we're a bunch of racists,” said Justin as he pulled out of the ballpark's parking lot. Cate, one seat over and enjoying a ballpark hotdog at the moment, chuckled while trying to swallow the chunk in her mouth before speaking.

“Mhmm, you are such a racist. It's written all over your face.”

“No, that's just dirt. You know, I was just playing baseball for over an hour.” The dirt part was a lie; he'd hardly touched the diamond. He'd washed himself off anyway and changed in the bathroom behind the concession stand before the official date started, though. He now sported some khaki shorts, the same ball cap from his uniform to hide his mess of hat-hair and a t-shirt that read, “Practice safe eating: Use condiments”. Cate thought the shirt was funny when she saw him wear it last week, so he thought he'd try it out again. That was before Nicker's earlier outburst, however.

“Oh, playing, huh?” Cate said with a mouth half-filled with a hotdog. “Is that what you call striking out and sitting on the bench?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha,” he sounded out dryly, keeping his eyes on the road while he drove. “You're hilarious. I had a bad day, I swear. I'm usually not that bad.”

“Well, hopefully your day gets better,” Cate hinted as she reached for her pop, bringing the straw up within her lips' reach. “It'd be a shame if you struck out again.” The two locked eyes for a brief moment, one pair looking cute and innocent, the other displaying more of a “wait, seriously?” reaction. It didn't last long as Cate dropped the straw from her mouth and pointed straight ahead. “Hey, eyes! Road!” Justin immediately obliged, bringing out another laugh from the girl beside him. “Sorry, I've just got this fear-” She trailed off for a moment, then shook her head and grabbed her straw again. “Well, I just don't know if I'm going to get my license when I'm sixteen.”

Justin glanced over at her briefly, but remembered to continue looking at the road ahead. “What? But your birthday is in less than a month. What are you afraid of, wrecks? `Cause I've already been driving for three months and I haven't even seen any.”

Cate shrunk in her seat a little, shaking her head as she put her drink back in the car's cup holder. “You'll think it's stupid,” she whimpered.

“What? No, no I won't. I hang out with stupid on a daily basis. Whatever your phobia is it can't be as dumb as Nicker.” This got a chuckle out of her, but she remained quiet. “Come on, tell me. It can't be that bad. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I mean, Reggie's grandma never even learned to drive because she was scared to, and now when his mom leaves on business trips he can hardly go anywhere. You don't wanna end up like that, right?”

She sighed, gently throwing her head back against her seat's headrest. “Okay, fine. Seriously, it's stupid. But… you know how deer will randomly just walk out onto the road?” The corner of Justin's lips began to spread into a grin as he nodded. “Well… when I was little- it was like my first time ever in the front seat- my dad hit a deer at night. It was so scary. My dad's even a deer hunter, too, but he took down his favorite trophy and offered to sell it just because it scared the bajeebers-” She stopped herself and slapped her driver's arm once she realized he was on the verge of cracking up. “Shut up, it's not funny,” she whined with a smile. “Odocoilephobia is a real fear and there are lots of people that have it.” She followed up by pulling off the best pouting face she could.

“Really? That's the real word for it?”

“Well, um… no. I sorta made it up,” she admitted. “It's like, the Latin name for a deer and phobia meshed together. But it's real, seriously!” Justin was losing it now, laughing so much it caused Cate to start reaching for the wheel for fear of him not paying attention to the road. Both were laughing, flirting, and having a good time now. This part of the date, at least, was going just the way Justin had hoped, and her insistence on seeing his baseball game didn't spoil the night after all. Now for a walk in the park, a surprise guitar performance and, hopefully, the infamous, “Will you go out with me?” question by the end of the night. There was almost nothing that could ruin it.

* * *

“Nick, this is a terrible idea.”

“Dude, you'll be fine. Trust me. Cate told me her parents didn't get home until later tonight, remember?” Nicker dug his fingertips into the window's wooden framing, pushing it upward with an exaggerated grunt. Gradually, he fully opened it, then turned to his partner in crime and smirked. “See? Unlocked. No one locks their garage window. Now, let's get in and out before they get back, unless you'd like to get caught?” Reggie shook his head no. “Good. Now give me a boost.”

Reggie did as he was told- despite himself being the smaller of the two by far- and Nick landed rather inelegantly on the cement ground below. He complained, blamed Reggie, then let his colleague crawl in by himself. The whole situation was less than graceful, but the duo made their way into the house through the door in the garage, where they were greeted by the barking of a ferocious ten-pound bichon frise.

“Oh, God!” Nicker fell back through the doorway at the first sound of the dog and pushed Reggie in ahead of him, urging him to quiet the beast. Reggie knelt down and petted the little white ball of fluff for a bit, causing the dog to roll over and pant happily. Nicker, playing off his earlier reaction as sarcastic, ran his fingers through his mess of thick, dark brown hair to try and look smooth and stepped over Reggie and his newfound buddy. “Good job, Reg. I was hoping you'd step up to the challenge. Now, keep the beast occupied while I find what we came here for.”

“What exactly did we come here for?” Reggie asked amidst his constant babying compliments for the dog whose belly he was scratching.

Nicker stopped mid-stride halfway through the kitchen and heaved a long, exaggerated sigh before turning around. “Reggie. How many times must we go over this?”

“We never really went over-”

“Justin's too nice.” Nicker's booming voice dwarfed Reggie's mouse-like squeak. “He never keeps his girl around because he can't man up and give them what they really want, you know?” He stopped, taking in Reggie's quizzical expression before muttering, “I guess you don't… Anyway, the man needs to get laid. It's obvious. But his balls dropped long ago and he hasn't gotten them back since, you know?” Again, he stopped, shook his head and muttered, “Never mind,” while turning to continue into the house.

“Uh, I think you've got that… phrase… wrong.” Reggie's words lost steam as he realized Nicker wasn't paying attention at all. He sighed and patted the dog on its belly one last time before following his leader into the other part of the house to make sure he wouldn't break anything. “Nick, I don't think-” Nicker was already interrupting him when he paused, but that wasn't the reason he stopped himself and stared at where Nicker was standing.

“I told you, it's Nicker. I won't respond to Nick.”

“I refuse to call you that,” Reggie mumbled dryly before his voice heightened back up, demanding, “What are you doing in Cate's room?”

“What do you think?” Nicker didn't turn to face him as he instantly went for her mirror-door closet, sliding it forcefully open. “I'm finding her something… nice to wear. Did you see what she was wearing at the game? How's that supposed to get a guy up?”

“She was showing every inch of her legs,” Reggie remembered aloud. “Seriously, Nick, I don't-”

“Nicker.”

“Nick. And as I was saying, I don't think we should be doing anything to interfere with Justin's date, ya know? I mean, Cate is a really hot girl- really hot- but I don't think he's trying to do get her in bed. He's a nice guy. And I know he'd be pretty upset if you messed up another one of his chances… like you have before…”

“I'm sorry, what were you saying?” Nicker poked his head out of the closet to give Reggie his attention, but the frustrated sidekick simply groaned, “Nothing.” Nicker shot him a scowl and dove back into the closet, rummaging rather noisily through Cate's stuff while saying, “Dude, if you don't have anything important to say, then get in here and help me find something sexy for her to wear. What am I paying you for?”

“You aren't paying me.”

“Oh,” Nicker said with a laugh, “then I guess you're just my slave, huh? Get back to work.”

“Nick,” Reggie scolded, his hands now on his hips like a fuming parent, “that's incredibly inappropriate. Do you even listen to yourself talk?”

“What?” Nicker poked his head out again, looking quite confused. His eyebrows then shot up in an “aha!” expression, and he went back to work. “Oh, the black thing, right. I keep forgetting about your condition. Would you prefer I called you an `indentured servant'?” Reggie was about say something else, but Nicker didn't much care for an answer as he emerged from the closet, holding up a long, vibrant red dress triumphantly. “Got it. Now let's get out of here. We need to go to the gas station too before they leave the park.”

“The gas station?” Reggie moaned, “What? Why?”

“Trust me. It's all part of the plan. You want Justin to get laid or not?” He didn't wait for an answer, as usual, and walked out of Cate's room, leaving Reggie, the bright one of the group, to put things back in place and cover their tracks. All I wanted was a ride home, Reggie thought to himself as he put the piles of scattered clothes back into the closet where they belonged. As he shut the closet door, however, he heard Nicker's voice in the other room: “Oh, wow! Cool!” Fearing the worst, he rushed into the living room, where he found Nick with a good-sized Nerf gun in hand.

“Nick,” he yelled, feeling even more anxious now than he did when Nick was weaponless, “put the gun down. Now. We're technically breaking and entering right now, and if you-”

“Oh, calm down Mr. Worrywart. I'm a pro with these things. Besides, we're only entering, unless you've broken something?”

Reggie rolled his eyes; he felt like he was babysitting this guy. “No, you don't understand what `breaking and entering' entails. Seriously, man. Put it down and let's just get out of here. Besides, didn't you just say we had to hurry and-”

“Think fast!” Nicker aimed through the gun's little plastic scope and pulled the trigger, firing a yellow foam ball directly at Reggie's head. He ducked instinctively, covering his face as well as he cowered. Realizing what he'd just done, Reggie turned in fear to see what Nicker had hit…

“See? Nothing to worry about. Killer dodge, by the way.” Nick blew imaginary smoke from the gun as Reggie watched the little ball bounce on the ground harmlessly until it came to a stop. As he rose back up, he gave a sigh of relief with a quick look up at all the potential things that could have been broken; he was standing in front of the living room fireplace, complete with a vase on either side of the wooden shelf overtop it and a family portrait of Cate, her parents and little brother hanging in the middle of the wall. Had he not been shorter than Nicker, bad things could've happened. For once, Reggie thanked the heavens for making him a scraggly little kid. Now he watched Nicker across the room while pleading to him with his eyes to just put the gun down. Behind Nicker were rows of drinking glasses hanging underneath the cabinets and a trophy head of a buck leaning lazily against the wall on the counter.

“Who's the best Nerf-gunner in the world?” Nick announced as he leaned the gun back down against the wall by the kitchen counter where he'd found it. He quickly answered his own question, shouting it after standing to his full height and raising his arms proudly, “The Nicker!” His shout, however, frightened the family dog that began barking at his feet. Nicker then screamed, “Oh my God,” jumped away from the sound and fell right into the wall he'd just leaned the gun against. His weight made the old house's wall shake just enough to jar the trophy head directly next to him from its spot, and both he and Reggie watched in horror as it slowly fell to its side, toppled over the edge of the counter and slammed against the tile floor below. Nicker gawked at the fallen trophy for a moment, then turned to Reggie, who looked like he'd just had his soul sucked out of him. Both looked back at the trophy, then at each other, each still as utterly flabbergasted as the moment before.

“Well,” Nick finally broke the silence, “now it's breaking and entering.”

* * *

To cover their tracks, Nicker decided it would be best if they took the trophy head with them on their adventure to the park. This was despite Reggie's constant babbling about breaking and entering plus robbery, or something like that; Nicker didn't pay much attention to him. He was just a scaredy-pants, plus a smarty pants. And he wore stupid-looking tight nerd pants. That kid just needed to get new pants in general.

“Nick, if we get caught I'm going to be an accomplice. I don't want my parents finding out; they'd-”

“Ssshhh,” Nicker hushed him, putting a finger over his own lips as he looked towards the plains of soccer fields far past the parking lot. He didn't see their target anywhere near, so he nodded towards Justin's car and signaled for his comrade to follow him. He then snuck over to his destination, hunched over behind other cars, rolling between them and army crawling at random spots to avoid being seen while Reggie walked upright behind him, carrying a trophy head with a missing antler and a plastic bag hooked to the one still attached. He wanted to remind Mr. Mission Impossible that Cate and Justin were nowhere near- oh, and that this was a really, really stupid idea- but by now, he'd all but given up on trying to convince Nicker of anything. He'd just have to go along with this dreamed-up spy game of his until he would take him to his grandma's house; why the old woman had never bothered getting her driver's license, Reggie had no idea.

“Alright, this is the one,” Nicker said in a loud whisper from his spot kneeling behind Justin's navy blue Cavalier.

“And what are we supposed to do with this stuff,” Reggie asked with a grunt as he came up beside Nicker, “just lay it out as a gift on the hood? Too bad we didn't wrap it all up.”

Nicker didn't seem to catch his blatant sarcasm. “You're right,” he said with a thoughtful rub of the chin, “but there's no time now. Trust me on this one.” Reggie just rolled his eyes and sighed, as he had multiple times that day, while Nicker crawled around to the driver's side of the door. Still on his stomach, he groaned as he stretched his arm up to grab the door's handle, then slowly opened the door.

“What are you doing- wait, it's unlocked?” Reggie watched in slight amazement as he watched Nick get up to his knees and pull the door fully open, then reach inside and find Justin's keys under the driver's seat. “How'd you know he'd leave his car unlocked?”

“I know a lot of things,” Nicker gloated as he jingled the keys with an outstretched arm. “But he always does this at the park when we come out to play football or soccer or whatever. Always. Now, gimme the goods- No, not the moose thing, put that down. Idiot.”

Reggie set the deer head and its broken-off antler against the Cavalier's tire and handed the plastic bag to Nicker as asked. Nicker rummaged through it contents to find a case of face paint and set it down on the blacktop beside him. He then whipped out the red dress he'd found before and tossed it to his partner. “Go put that in the passenger's side. Lay it out all nice and neat and stuff. And don't forget the note.” Reggie obliged, but not before reminding Nick that this idea was a failure in the making. Nicker wouldn't hear it, of course, and dumped the rest of what was in his plastic bag onto Justin's seat. Satisfied with how it looked, he shoved the bag into his back pocket, picked up his paint set and the keys he'd laid on it and popped the trunk. He picked up the trophy head by its still attached antler and tossed it into the now open trunk without much of a care, then shut it as Reggie came back around the car.

“Did you just put that trophy in his trunk?” he asked with a “what is wrong with you?” look painted on his face. Nicker merely shrugged.

“Yeah, it's his problem now. We're in the clear. Oh! Forgot the antler.”

“And you don't find anything wrong with that?” Reggie watched as Nicker reached for the broken antler and stood back up, a pondering look on his face.

“Nope, not really.”

“You don't?”

“Uh-uh.”

“You don't see anything wrong with putting something we broke that belongs to Cate's family in Justin's car? Really?”

Nicker gave it more thought as he looked up at a lone cloud above, then shrugged again. “Nope, nothing. What's the worst that can happen?” Reggie gave up, thinking that he would be busted for sure now. Nicker didn't notice the painful expression on his face as he continued, “Anyways, paint me. We're gonna need to be camouflaged so we aren't seen. Actually, maybe this antler here could come into some use...”

“I'm not putting this stuff on my face,” Reggie shot as he reluctantly opened the case and whipped out a small paint brush.

“Oh, sorry. By we, I mean me. There's not much left in there. Besides, you'll blend in anyway. It's getting dark soon.”

* * *

“It's getting dark,” Cate mused as she walked at Justin's side along the town park's winding concrete path. The early spring sky had turned to a fairly dim shade of blue, but only a stray cloud or two blemished it. Most of the kids and their parents that littered the place earlier had left, leaving the two high-schoolers to themselves for the most part.

“Yeah,” Justin answered, almost dreamily. Finally, it seemed, fate was smiling upon him. They'd hung out for a solid two hours just talking and laughing and goofing around at the children's playground, and now it looked like the perfect weather would hold up for the whole night. For once, everything was going as planned. For once, that Nicker wasn't around. “Have you had fun so far?” he asked, already knowing her inevitable answer but wanting to hear it anyway.

“Mmmhmmm,” she hummed with a smile. “Lots. But, you know, I have something to confess.” Justin arched an eyebrow as he looked at her, asking her what it was. “You're a lot sweeter than I initially thought. I mean, I've been really testy around boys since my last boyfriend. He… he just tried to use me, tried to make me do things I didn't want to, you know? And he dumped me at homecoming because I wouldn't.” She was looking away as she recounted it in more detail than she was giving Justin, but she looked at him once again as she continued. “Like, you seemed like a really nice guy, nothing at all like him, but the word on the street was that you enjoyed taking girls on dates just to humiliate them. And when Nick said you had a prank ready-”

“Oh my God,” Justin cut her off. “No, listen. You've got it all wrong…” Justin then proceeded to explain how Nicker had ruined his dates before on more than one occasion, why he was wary of bringing her to his baseball game just because he'd be there, and lastly how sometimes he wished God would just strike the guy with lighting anytime he was about to ruin something else.

“Wow,” Cate said mid-giggle as he concluded his explanation. “Why are you friends with him?”

Justin merely shrugged. “I don't know. He's good at Halo, and he's funny at times. He just treats me like his little brother or something; tries to help out too much, you know?”

Cate nodded. “Well, I'm just glad you didn't turn out to be some serial heartbreaker. `Cause, in all honesty…” she reached for Justin's hand, sliding her fingers comfortably between his and getting a shocked pair of eyes from Justin in response, then finished, “…I think you're pretty cute.”

* * *

“Holy mother of Chuck Norris, are they holding hands?” Nicker gave a hushed shout as he watched the apparent couple from the park's outskirts, hiding himself in a crowd of large bushes. They came closer to his alcove as they walked along the paved path, each smiling and laughing and carrying on. Reggie, his obligated comrade sitting at his right, hadn't been paying attention; he had been focusing on a happy couple and their child behind them playing with a frisbee, watching them with a lost, smiling gaze. Nicker's quiet exclamation, however, got him to turn his attention back to the approaching pair.

“Looks like it.” Reggie didn't watch for too long as he took the chance to steal a glance at Nicker, whose face was covered in hearts, flowers and male signs that he believed to be camouflage. Reggie found it difficult not to chuckle every time he beheld his own handiwork, which was complemented by the single deer antler tied tightly to his head with a cell phone charger. “See? You didn't need to do anything for him after all. Let's go back to his car and get all that stuff out of it before-”

“No,” he firmly interjected. “Don't you get it? The guy got this far on his own, so when she sees what we have set up for them, they may just get it on right there in the car!”

Reggie pressed his lips together and cocked his head to the side, looking at Nicker like he'd just spoken French. “Noooo, I don't think that's what'll happen.”

“Well, that's why you don't get girls,” Nicker shot back with a bite in his tone.

“Do you?”

“Ssshh, I think they're stopping.” Nick waved a hand to quiet his partner as he focused his attention on the two standing less than ten yards ahead of them. Cate's back was facing them now as she held Justin's hands, inching closer to him while he looked around for a moment to make sure no one was around. “Oh my God, I think they're gonna- Ouch!” Nick was cut off by a blow to the back of the head by a bright, neon yellow frisbee with a golden lightning bolt engraved on its surface. “What was that for?” Nick groaned as he held the back of his head.

“I didn't do it.” Reggie turned and found the frisbee. “You got hit by this.”

“Well get it out of here,” he demanded as he tried to turn his head to say it, only to find that his securely fastened antler was now stuck in the bush's wall of branches and leaves and poking out for the world to see. “Ack! I'm stuck!”

“Ssshh, they'll hear you,” Reggie reminded him as he tossed the frisbee out behind the bush. “Get back.”

“Ow, ow! Reg, help me out!” Nicker's voice was still hushed, but his movements against the bush's leaves weren't so silent. Reggie leaned over to work on the quadruple knot he'd tied at his chin as he tried to calm him down to no avail; his relentless wrestling against the shrubbery was causing the whole large bush to shake loudly. The inept duo continued to struggle as they heard someone coming up from behind the bush, causing Reggie to stop dead in his tracks while Nicker only tried harder to break free. Reggie turned to see, just behind their little forest, a man picking up the frisbee he'd just tossed out. Still on a knee and behind the bushes as he held it up, the man called back to who'd thrown it, “Got it, dear. Dear? Deeeeeear!”

* * *

“What was that?”

Justin's eyes opened back up as he heard Cate's voice instead of feeling her lips. So close… He felt her hands let go of his as she turned around to look at a row of bushes behind her, so Justin automatically poked his head around her to see what the culprit was that had just delayed his first kiss. “What the-”

“Oh my God, oh my God,” Cate yelped as she fell back against Justin, pointing frantically at a moving antler poking out of the bushes. “It's a deer! There's a deer! In the bushes!”

Justin, the calmer one in the situation, knew a fully grown deer couldn't fit back there; plus, the other antler was missing. He hugged the smaller girl against him, trying to calm her. “No, no, it's not a-”

“Deer? Deeeeeeer!” reached both their sets of ears, as if just to shoot down what Justin was bound to say. Cate nearly shrieked herself into a panic attack. Justin couldn't tell what was going on. The antler continued moving around, loudly announcing its presence with the ruffling of leaves, until at last it broke free of the branches that held it with a few consecutive, violent snaps. Then came Justin's greatest fear, nearly throwing him into a shrieking panic attack of his own.

“Nicker?” came a growl from Justin.

“Nicker…?” came from Cate.

“Nick,” came a hushed demand from Reggie, still in the bushes, as he tried to pull him back down.

“Hey guys,” Nicker said sheepishly, giving a small wave and a smaller laugh as he stood upright with an antler attached to his head and suggestive painted pictures on his face. “How's it hangin'?”

“You-” Cate couldn't bring her thoughts to words as she gave Nick a womanly death glare, then turned to give Justin the same one, along with a strong smack to the face. “I knew it! You, you-” Again, words failed her as all she could do was exhale a long, loud, animal-like yell and stomp off towards the parking lot.

“Wait!” Justin didn't even bother with Nicker as he chased after her, only to have her resist his every effort and walk faster. He pleaded his case uselessly, saying he had nothing to do with it and calling Nicker every colorful name he could think of, but none of it got her to stop. “At least let me take you back home.”

“I can walk,” Cate shot him down.

“No, seriously. Please,” he pleaded desperately, “I had this big thing planned, just for you- not that back there, I mean… something sweet. I wanted to play your song.”

That stopped her. “My… song?” She turned around slowly, her eyes no longer menacing, but rather, curious, with a pinch of awe.

“Yeah. That song you always say you love so much, and hum randomly in study hall, that Edwin McCain song. I learned it.” They were stopped now on the sidewalk, just a short distance from the parking lot where Justin's car was. Cate's heartfelt, spellbound expression quickly fell back to its previous dubious glare, however, out of pure self-defense.

“No tricks?” The phrase came out as more of a death threat than a question.

“No tricks,” Justin repeated, his lips curling into a small smirk. “I'll drive you home and play it for you there, deal?” Soon, Cate relented, mimicking his gentle smile as she followed him to his car, both of them silent in anticipation for very different reasons.

When they reached the car, Justin opened the passenger side door for her, just for good measure. From the growing darkness, he hadn't seen what was inside, but when he opened the door, smiling and presenting the seat to his date like a showcase, the car's ceiling lights came on and Cate gasped and nearly fell over. Justin, seeing her reaction, turned his head to see her homecoming dress sprawled out over the seat with a full sheet of notebook paper with big, block letter words reading, “Forget Homecoming. Wear this for Justin! ;-)” taped to it. Just past it, on the driver's seat, was a pile of a dozen or so wrapped Magnum XL Trojan condoms. “Oh. My. God-”

“I hate you!” Cate, fuming now, began to stomp away in no particular direction, just trying to get away from the guy who apparently wanted to do nothing more than humiliate her.

“No, no, this wasn't me,” Justin begged as he slammed the door shut. He rambled on about how this wasn't his fault, something Cate was determined not to hear, as he rushed to the opposite side of the car to get his keys and pop his trunk. “I swear, please, just let me play for you.”

He at least got her to turn around, probably just to further scold him, but those words didn't come out as she beheld her father's buck head trophy staring at her from his trunk with its cold, dead eyes. That play-dough face Justin loved so much gave him the most bone-chilling, face-numbing and possibly life-threatening glare he would ever see in his life, and then she was off. Justin came to the back of his car to see the one-antlered trophy sitting in front of his guitar case, and at that instant, Justin simply gave up. His shoulders drooped, his breath left him, and, for a moment, he contemplated just driving into a river nearby so life couldn't play these cruel jokes on him anymore. He stood there for just past forever, all emotion sucked straight out of him as he stared at that deer's lifeless eyes with his own mirroring ones.

That was it. His first ever second date ended just like his other firsts. He just couldn't escape it. Something was following him, a storm cloud hovering over his parade, determined to ruin every chance he would ever have at happiness just to watch him suffer. Someone, somewhere, just wanted to kick him while he was down, only to kick him again and again and again for the fun of it. Justin knew who that someone was, too.

“Hey, man,” came a rather cheery voice from a few yards away. “So… you gonna use those condoms?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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