Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Nishi Kaze ❯ Vol. 1, Chapter Four: Sadness ( Chapter 4 )

Sadness

*Shizuma*

Speaking of my heart, I have had some dark hours in my life. It's too painful to know about. But if I must, *sigh* I will tell you.

I once had a normal life. I had a loving mother. She was a lovely neko yokai but I didn't care. I didn't see any differences as a human boy. (Yes! I was born a human! Most demons are made, not born!) We had each other. I loved her and she felt the same for me. Or so I thought.

On the ban of my seventeenth year, Haruka led me to the forest behind our house. She said she had a surprise for me. Of course, I was excited. “What is the surprise?” I asked her on the path. “If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?” she asked. I smiled. “Naw.” I said at last. “That's what I thought.” she said. I just smiled. Haruka always played games with me like that.

We made it to the center of the forest. A small stream flowed there. I had been here many times during the day. But this place looked different in the night. Fireflies were flying around the area. I was amazed.

Haruka cleared her throat. I turned to her. She was smiling. “Do you like the night?” she asked. “Oh yes! I do!!!” I said. “Good.” Haruka said. “I'm glad you like it.” I was smiling. Next I knew, I felt a small needle pricking in my neck. I grew tired. Something was draining me. “Ma…. ma….” I said at last. The last thing I saw was pitch darkness as I lost consciousness.

In the morning I awoke in our bed. Was it all a dream? Then…. I realized…. Something had changed. I looked at my arm. It was as pale as snow. I blinked madly. But it was true! My skin had lost its color. I grew worried. So I rushed out of bed and looked for my momma.

I found her sitting at our low bamboo table. Haruka looked up at me. “Momma!” I exclaimed. “What happened to…?” Her lip trembled. She looked down. Then Haruka got up and left the room. “What's wrong?” I asked. Then I followed her to the open window. She seemed sad. I slowly approached her.

“You're dead!” Haruka cried out. I froze. I was lost. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I'm still alive.” She didn't answer. I stepped closer. “I killed you.” Haruka whimpered. “You lost me.” I said.

Haruka sat down. “Come and sit with me,” she said. I complied. Momma had tears in her eyes. I couldn't understand.

“You are no longer human!” Haruka blabbed out. I grew even more lost. I parted my lips to talk but she stopped me. “I made you into a demon.” she continued. “I couldn't lose you to death, this is the only way we be together!” She broke down into tears. Then Haruka grabbed my hands and said with big eyes: “I love you!” I didn't see her as the same anymore. I was even afraid of her. I tried not to show my fear. But she saw it and broke down into tears. She placed her head in my lap.

In time, I got use to my change. I found I could do things much better than I could when I was a human. Such as working in the fields, racing, fishing, and other child games. My life had gotten better. Until one cruel day of truth.

I was twenty-one when this happened. It was a cold autumn day. I was outside fishing when Haruka came up behind me. I turned and saw her. She looked as pale as I was. “Shizuma,” Haruka said. “We need to talk.” Her tone was what worried me a lot.

We sat under an oak tree. “Hai, mother?” I asked. Haruka was in tears. “I'm-- not…. your mother!” she whimpered out. Shock hit me. “What?!?” I asked. She explained how she found me in the dark mori and raised me. I was completely shocked. “You lied to me?” I asked. “Yes.” Haruka whimpered. I don't know what to say anymore. This neko girl I called mother had lied to me! I could see her trembling. It was too much to bear. Finally, I got up and ran away.

Then san months later, my curse would take its effects. A storm was over the area that night. A Satan had crept inside me. “She cheated you, Shizuma,” it said. “Take revenge on her! She deserves it!” No! This should not be done!

But in a couple of hours, I was up and out of bed, with one of my obi in my hands. I crept over to our bed. Haruka lie sleeping still. She looked so peaceful. I held the obi over her. I was hesitating. I couldn't do it! “She deserves it!!!” the Satan yelled. My hands tighten and I wrapped the obi around her throat, drawing it tighter and tighter. Haruka gaped for air.

I strangled her for an hour until she lay motionless. I put my hand to her chest. Haruka was dead. I sat down and wept. What have I done? What have I done? My tears flooded me with guilt.

I buried Haruka in the center of our forest as respect and ran away. I vowed never to return there again.

For years, I wandered the earth. I killed left and right. But one kill attempt would make matters worse.

I was in what is now Seoul, South Korea. It was raining hard. No shelter was in sight. I walked for miles. Then, I saw someone up ahead. I rushed towards them.

It was a lovely young girl. She looked injured. I wanted to help her but my killer instinct said otherwise. So I pulled out my dragger and tried to stab her. She disappeared and flew up into the sky. I looked up. The girl was really an oracle in disguise. She looked angry with me. The oracle placed another curse on me. Now I was doomed as a killer and a blood drinker.

For years now, I have killed and drank the blood of my victims. Grrr!!!! Damnit!!! I can't let Yuki die by my hands! I love him too much for to die by me. So that is why I must keep him at bay from me. I love him too much for him to die at my hands. I love him too much for that!!! I love him!

Love at Bay