Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Nishi Kaze ❯ Vol. 6, Chapter Forty-Three: Lost in Love ( Chapter 43 )

Lost in Love

*Katsuya*

I've been having many confusing thoughts lately. Most of them are about Yuki.

I have no idea where to start on this. But, here goes.

I've been friends with Yuki for months now. He's a good guy. Pretty quiet, gentle, smart, and nice. However, he's lived a sheltered life. For years, Yuki's been bullied around by many people. With that comes many trust issues. Couple that with his parents dying at a young age and being raised by his older sister, he's a bit of a weakling. Oh! I want to protect him that badly.

Maybe that's it…

I paused over my burger. No, that's not it. There's more to this and I know it. Maybe I should back up a bit. Or should I go forward? I don't know. Here goes, anyway.

I do have to admit, Yuki is awful cute for a guy. Usually, I go for girls, but Yuki…

Give me moment. I breathed in for the longest moment.

Alright. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Yuki. He really is a damaged kid. That was until we all came along and hung out with him. Okay, there was Annette in his life. But, he needed to be around guys. Shizuma was the first. Then, Toyota entered the picture. Pretty soon, Sasuke, Dave, and I followed suit. Now, we are all just one big, happy group. (Well, there's Serena. But, she doesn't count.) Yet, there is something hiding between us. To be more particular, Yuki and myself. I don't have a name for it just yet. I know it's not love. Don't say that it is!

I shook my head and took a breath.

What am I thinking? This is not like me at all. Where the hell is all of this coming from?

I sat back and took a moment.

Then again, Yuki would make a good lover. I hate to say this, but he's already like a girl.

I chuckled to myself.

Think about it. He's pretty timid. We're all still working on that with him. I have never met a guy with such a feminine face before in my life. If I didn't know any better, I would've assumed that Yuki was a girl at first glance. One would really have to blink for a better look to be sure with that guy. Plus, he has this nurturing mother-type to him. I smile every time he tries to check up on all of us. He's such a sweetheart.

I took another bit of my burger.

Maybe I do have something for the guy. Something deeper than friendship. No, it's not that. It's not the l-word, okay? Or… is it?

“Katsu-kun?” I heard someone ask me. I jerked my head upwards from my lunch. That sweet, girly face looked my deep into the eye. My cheeks are growing warm.

“You okay, Katsu-kun?” Yuki asked. Why does this always happen to me? I never really know what to say around this guy. Usually, I can talk normally around the others guys. But, my words always get tangled up in my mouth when I talk to Yuki. All I could do at that moment was nod. My friend raised an eyebrow at me.

“You sure?” he asked.

“YES!” I blurted out. “I AM OKAY!!!” He blinked at me once.

“Okay…” Yuki mumbled. I watched him get up to leave the table. I blinked as my mind tried to keep up with what was going on.

“W-Where are you going?” I asked. He glanced over his shoulder at me.

“I'm going back to class,” my friend replied. “It starts in ten minutes, you know?” That message took a little bit to reach my brain, but once I understood, I nodded as if in a daze.

“Right…” I said. I gathered up my trash and followed him out of the cafeteria.

Bah, what the hell am I thinking? Nothing's going to happen between us! For one thing, there's Shizuma. I highly doubt that guy will ever want to share. He killed one of Zen's goons; I hate to think what he could do to me if I tried to hook up with his precious boy toy. And besides, I can't really see myself with a guy any time soon.

I sighed as I lowered my shoulders as I followed Yuki back to class.

It's not the l-word, but it's more than friendship with this guy. Meh, maybe it's a man crush. A real relationship with him would be nice…

Man Crush?