Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Romancing Lucifer ❯ Contract 23: A Fallen Angel’s Love ( Chapter 23 )

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Romancing Lucifer

By: Melissa Norvell

Chapter 23: A Fallen Angel's Love

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Lucifer slowly opened his eyes. Black eyes with mint-green pupils glanced around the room, trying to get his bearings as they trailed to what was causing the sharp pain in his chest. Bandages. They were wrapped tightly around him and faint splotches of red blood had already bled through some of them. Upon further inspection, the angel realized that he was in Seraj's room.

`What?' He turned his head and placed his hand to his chest. `This is Seraj's bed. He bandaged my wounds.' Even if the bandages were wrapped, they weren't wrapped very well. Lucifer frowned at the shoddy work that was done. What kind of person couldn't even properly dress a wound?

`Idiot. Doesn't he know that angels heal themselves…However, the poison has weakened my state substantially. I have no choice but to stick back a while…How irritating. Now I'll have to find something else to exorcise my intelligence on.' The angel gritted his teeth and clenched at the wrapping around his torso before he turned to the boy who had been caring for him, his expression was still irritated.

`I do have to say that I'm shocked that he even cared. I thought he hated me. So why not just leave me there and let me fade away? If my mortal body dies in this world, I can go back to tell and I'll be rid of me and our contract. He's tried to stab me so many times and he's given me several death threats. So why? Can he just not do it? Is he possibly that weak? It will take a couple of days to heal myself.' He watched the Nepali boy sigh and turn his head away from him, closing his eyes.

“So, how do you feel?” Seraj was happy at the very least to see that the angel was awake. Thank everything that he wasn't dead.

“Like shit,” Lucifer moved slowly and sat up. Dull pains shot through his body as he positioned himself on the bed. “How do you think I'd feel?”

“What happened?” Seraj finally decided to ask the question. No doubt there were people who were out to get Lucifer, and he knew that perfectly well but he wondered who it was and if they were a threat to him as well.

“That priest from earlier tried to kill me off with his cross saber again. This time he poisoned the end of it. I was lucky to make it back here. Not that you care, you're probably glad that I'm like this. It's what I deserve, right?” Lucifer knew that he was waiting to be rid of him. Ever since they began their contract, Seraj had done nothing but try to defy him, ignored him and acted miserable around him. Lucifer wasn't stupid.

“No…you don't even deserve that,” Seraj knew he might eat those words later but it was how he felt. Besides, when he found the angel in such a state, he was more than worried.

“That's shocking to hear, especially from someone as holy as you,” Lucifer continued to make stabs at the Nepali for his so called `religion.' Did he turn a sinner into a saint? How amusing.

“Shove it and be happy I did this,” there was that snappy attitude that Seraj was so famous for. He was glad to see it return.

“That would be far too easy for you.” As much as Seraj's pouty antics agitated him, he loved to see that expression of pain on the boy's face.

“It's not like you'd want to make my life easy or anything,” the orange-eyed boy knew that was definitely not something he planned on doing. Lucifer was persistent about being nothing but a pest and general thorn in his side.

“You wanted me, you got me. Remember, you're the one who summoned me.” Seraj really shouldn't have asked for something he didn't know the consequences of getting. Lucifer knew the true capabilities of the boy's malice. It was a pity that empathy was getting in his way.

“You only remind me of it every time we talk,” Seraj frowned. In fact, he reminded him every time he walked into the room. The fact that angel existed did more than remind him of just how much of a hot-headed idiot back then.

“It would be a pity if you forgot,” Lucifer smirked at him, buttoning up his red under shirt.

“I don't even care anymore,” Seraj sighed. There was really no use in fighting on this issue. Even if he did, he'd be a hypocrite.

“Giving up so easily?” The angel asked and stood up as he finished buttoning his black coat. “You're becoming boring, Seraj. Did you lose your spark?”

“It's not that,” the boy's voice became subdued and defeated.

“What is it then?” The angel continued to prod at him.

A deep blush spread across his dark skin before he turned away. Mixed feelings returned as brief moments of their last encounter ran through his mind. Seraj couldn't forget the sinful touch of the devil, those hands that ran across his body and tempted him, drug him down to the very depths of hell. “I don't want to say.”

“Then why did you bring it up in the first place?” It sounded like Seraj really wanted to talk about whatever was on his mind. The fact that he was hiding it and guarding it so well only made Lucifer want to savagely rip it from him. Oh, how he wanted to tear that human down and strip him of everything he held dear.

“Because you asked, asshole,” Seraj spoke through gritted teeth. By now, his whole face was bright red. There was no way that he could turn around and face that horrible entity that called himself an angel. A term far too pure for a sinner like him.

“I wanted to know,” Lucifer's motives didn't change.

“Look I…” Seraj tried to say, but trailed off.

“You?” The angel arched an eyebrow.

The boy was silent for a while. He tried to muster up all of the courage that he possibly could. Seraj breathed in, then he breathed out. He had to calm his reddening face, but he couldn't. Fists clenched so tightly that he nearly felt blood well up from the crescents that his finger nails were making from his nails digging into the flesh of his palms. Those images still pounded through his brain, forcing their way into vivid imagery.

“Fine…” Seraj huffed out the word after a moment of silence. “I'll say it. I might as well get all of this over with anyway. “ He turned around the stared the angel down. “Look, I really care about you, way more than I should. It's more than some obsession. It's more than me having some kind of sexual tension. When we had sex, I felt so dirty and disgusting. I committed the ultimate sin, and in my culture even being around you would have gotten me killed, much less disowned.

“In Nepal we take things like demons, bad spirits, and homosexuality offensively so I tried to push it out of my mind. I didn't want to believe that I could love or even have sexual feelings towards someone like you. What I did was wrong, so I acted ashamed of it. In reality, I didn't know how I really felt. I was confused, and I know that you seduce people.

“For some reason, I couldn't bear the thought of you thinking I was just a fling. I wanted to be so much more than that.”

Seraj had just opened a can of worms. He knew that Lucifer was probably going to laugh at how pathetic he was. He had to keep his voice from cracking when he spoke or being any more emotional than he already was.

This was hard. Harder than even confessing his feelings towards Sajani on that day…

He was going against his religion, against everything he knew and taking a chance for a man that very well might not even return his feelings. This was forbidden, this was the definition of all that was wrong, and yet he didn't care. Seraj could give a fuck less about his religion or the consequences of his actions.

If his love was just a sin then he had only tears to shed.

“What are you saying?” Lucifer wasn't sure if he was hearing him correctly. Did this puny human just confess his love to him?

“That I…”Seraj bit his lip, nearly forcing the words from his mouth, “love you. I wanted to tell you back when we did something, but I couldn't. I just thought that it was going to all be some kind of manipulation. I didn't want that, I didn't want to just be your toy.”

Seraj wasn't stupid. He knew how little regard the devil had for his friend's souls and lives. The malicious being killed so easily, just because he wouldn't comply to his demands. Lucifer treated people like playing pieces that were so easily discarded. The last thing that he wanted to be was what he started out to be to the angel- just someone to be easily formed and molded like putty in his disgusting hands.

“So, you have feelings for me,” Lucifer chose his words wisely. No doubt this human was at his weak point right now. It was best to approach him with caution.

“It probably sounds stupid to you, but I want you to love me back. I don't know if you will even care but I can't go on doing this. I decided to just tell you that I loved you regardless. I know you probably don't feel the same.” What was he even thinking? Did Seraj even know how many lovers this man had? Lucifer could get anyone that he wanted. Why would he want someone like him? Why would he want a human?

“I don't know, I might have felt something,” Lucifer placed a hand under his chin and closed his eyes.

“What?” Seraj nearly did a double-take. That sentence didn't even seem real.

“When you accused me of doing terrible things to you, I actually felt irritated, angry that you would imply that I'd rape you.” The angel laughed a little, “its funny, in hindsight I wouldn't have cared if it was anyone else. Sometimes I even take great pride in the fact that I commit such monumental sins. The fact that some human was able to genuinely upset me made me feel bitter. I don't exactly fall in love easily. The most I do is lust after people, charm them into doing things I want, or I just manipulate them into doing what I want. If someone happens to fall in love with me, then I can use it to my advantage. If they get hurt by me, no big deal,” the angel shrugged, “they shouldn't have made a deal with the devil. “

Lucifer paused a little, a shift happened in his voice as his expression fell into something more serious. “However, you're different. I thought it might have been because you were hard to whip into place. No matter what I've done, you stood to defy me, and I detested you, but you challenged me. Everything I knew as a fallen angel was combated. It had been so easy until you, and it made you worthy. From there, I saw you more and more like a partner in crime and less like a toy I wanted to break.”

Golden eyes widened a little, and he felt his heart beating so fast that it slammed against his sternum and made his chest hurt. Anxiety coursed through him so much that he felt as if he was going to pass out at any moment. “You feel something for me? Can you say its love?”

He knew that sounded completely too hopeful.

“It could be. It's been eons since I've felt anything.” When was the last time that Lucifer had ever felt an emotion like that? He had to laugh a little, because even he couldn't quite recall. “I was actually trying to figure it out this whole time. Why would I tell you that I felt some kind of affection towards you so freely? Why would I make myself seem so weak?”

“So, it was a game to you?” How disappointing, but it really was just the way Seraj thought it was. It figured.

“At first it was,” Lucifer admitted, but things had changed even if it was slightly.

“Even the bride thing?” Seraj arched an eyebrow.

“With Yaone or you?” That was more the actual question.

“Me,” Seraj frowned, “you already explained her.”

“It could be true. Would it be so bad if it was?” The devil flashed a toothy smile and winked at the boy.

“A male can't be a bride.” Such a thing was unheard of in his culture. Besides, to wear a dress was just humiliating in Seraj's eyes. There was no way that he'd cross dress for that perverted angel! He'd rather be dead.

“Is that your only criticism?” Lucifer teased. It didn't seem like he was resisting his charm too much.

Seraj blushed and turned away quickly. “I'm not…It's just…Ugh! You piss me off so much!” He stammered and sputtered before a burst of frustration spewed from his mouth.

“Sexual frustration is the best kind,” the mint-haired angel winked playfully at him. Hook, line and sinker.

“Piss off!”

“I can no longer defy angelic law. I can say that I've come to love you. However, I don't make any guarantees. If you want to take on the job of romancing Lucifer, then by all means, go ahead.” Such a title came with responsibilities and like their pact, Lucifer warned him that the move he was about to make could end up being the end of him. There was nothing that would keep them together and nothing to ensure that the angel wouldn't lust after others or stray from him.

That was on him.

“I want to try,” Seraj spent all of that time trying so desperately to get his feelings across, only to learn that he has a chance with the devil himself. There was no way in heaven or hell that he was going to pass up this opportunity. Even if things fell through, even if he was destined to be hurt and fall into the spectrum of those he's lusted after, Seraj was willing to risk everything.

“Then you must go through with the pact,” Lucifer could ensure that their bond would be closer if they did. It was the one thing that Seraj was trying to avoid. It was the gap between them that he needed to close. By accepting the pact, then the human accepted him and the consequences of his actions. Seraj submitted to him and promised to purge those from his life that stood in his way, and Lucifer would do more than help him out.

“I know,” Seraj tilted his head down, “I thought about it and I realize I don't have a choice. Even if I resist you'll just kill more people I love. If I would have agreed to it in the first place…my friends would still be alive.”

Stupid! Why was he so stupid? If he had only known that things would have come to this, he could have saved so many lives.

“Perhaps,” Lucifer didn't want to make a judgment call on that. He might have killed them regardless. In fact, it was fun causing their demise. It would have been just as fun regardless.

“I've always wanted to ask you…” Seraj tipped his head back up. “How did you end up being who you are? I've always been interested on how you got so evil.” Lucifer's origins had several interpretations that he had heard about in myth and more. Some of things ran parallel while others contradicted themselves. It was better to hear them from the source.

“You're interested in that?” The black-winged angel was a little shocked that he wanted to know anything about him, much less his origin story?

“I'm Nepali, I don't know much about the religion that you come from, much less anything beyond the fact that you're some evil angel,” Seraj didn't know anything about him at all. He knew that Lucifer was evil, a bad entity and that was all that he knew about him. He loved a man he didn't understand, and it was better that he did try to now that his feelings were out for everyone to see.

“Do you know what my name means?” Lucifer wondered if the boy even knew something that simple.

“I have no idea,” Seraj admitted with a sigh.

“It means morning star, or shining one depending on your interpretation. I used to be called the son of the morning. The morning star is so brilliant that it eclipsed all other stars. I was regarded as the angel of the morning and I brought light to the earth. When I was cast away, I was known as Lucifer, the Antichrist.

“Those who believe in me, or rather those influenced by Gnosticism don't revere me as the devil, but rather see me as a guardian spirit, or a liberator.” As much as Seraj wanted to deem him evil, he wasn't exactly seen as something evil through all religions. It really did depend on what someone believed as to whether or not he truly was an evil entity.

There were a lot of things that the boy didn't know about him, or even things that he misinterpreted. It was the flaw of most humans. He did appreciate that this boy wanted to at least learn things about it. It was something that usually only those who highly revered him.

“That's why Yaone felt the way she did about you,” Seraj realized that some things about the strange girl's religion was beginning to make sense to him.

“I am the mask of the adversary, a motivator and illuminating force in the mind of the subconscious. Some know me as a tempter of sin, or committer of all things unjust. I am the watcher angel, cast from heaven. I used to rule over the other angels,” Lucifer continued to educate him on who exactly he was. The angel felt that if they were going to be lovers that the boy needed to know every detail about him and he planned on expelling them to him.

“So, what did you do?” Seraj imagined that it must have been something big to be thrown from heaven.

“I rebelled, along with a bunch of other angels,” Lucifer said it so simply, as if it meant nothing to him that he committed an act of treason.

“How did you pull that off?” The boy questioned.

“I had the gift of free will. I had intimate knowledge of god, and I'm intelligent. They say that god gave me the ability to choose between good and evil, but I don't exactly see it that way,” the angel began to tell him about the special abilities that he possessed and what set him apart from the others. He was a special one after all.

“You see, we were given the foreknowledge of humans, and the fact that god world come back to the mortal plain as one of you. This meant that us angels would have to worship a creation of god that was so much lower than we were. The angels were superior, so much better than those sacks of flesh that were drug up from the earth. Why on earth would I bow to that?” Even thinking about what was in god's plans made Lucifer nearly wretch in disgust. He could never bow before the feet of someone made from the dirt he walked on, and to him that's all that they would be - earth beneath his shoes.

“No wonder you were cast out. Your pride is ridiculous,” Seraj shouldn't have expected anything less from someone like him. That angel had the biggest case of narcissism that he ever witnessed.

“Is it? I had the right to brag. I was the most powerful of all of the archangels in heaven. I was only second to god's offspring. I had a perfect form, a pure specimen of what an angel should be,” Lucifer gestured to himself with a prideful smile on his face. Thinking about his former glory always put him on his high-horse. God would never find another angel half as good as he was, and he knew it.

“However, the human created child was closer than I. Angels were regarded as the ultimate being, the finest masterpiece before the flawed abominations known as humans came along. All of the angels bowed before him, and I did as well, but I only held disgust and hatred in my heart,” the words dripped from the fallen angel's mouth like poison and even now he was spiteful against this. It was a wound eons of years old that he would never rid himself of.

“His powers were equal to those of god himself. I was the favorite…was I not? Was I not good enough to be held on the same merit as that human? If I was so good, why…why was I replaced by such an inferior creature? Why was I not praised by god?” Just listening to Lucifer talking about this made Seraj feel sorry for him. All of that time the mint-haired angel thought that he was god's favorite, and he ended up being replaced. It must have hurt him a lot, more than he could even say now.

“Obviously, I was not good enough, so I aspired to reach god's heights. I pushed myself to be better and better. I knew the other angels revered me, but now I had a special mission to carry out. I became what I set out to be. I made myself ultimate.

“So I venture to see god with a heart drenched in jealousy. I told got that he paid far too much attention to a man that he had neglected the truth creation, free of flaws that hung to humankind. That I, an angel, all that was held high was worthy. If no one was in charge of the angels, then they wouldn't know what to do. The entire time, I had been gathering an army of those who felt the same way I did, of those who would never bow down before the son of god. I told him that I would take the honor that I deserved. I wonder be the one to rise up against the son of god and take his throne.

“With the sympathizers that I gained, I began the strife to reform god's government. No matter how hard I tried, I could never look into that being. I could never tap into its wisdom to see its purpose for the son of god. Because of that, the son of god seemed to have an unlimited source of power and command.

“Regardless of this, I rebelled against the son.

“God spoke, telling me that the son of god was always there. He had existed before the existence of angels. The honor that the son had was no less important than my own. The son was loving and merciful. He did not desire what I had.

“However, I refused to listen to their excuses. I wanted nothing to do with that, and my mind had been made up. The angels who listened to that hogwash were nothing but mindless slaves.

“Slaves I could use to my advantage. They couldn't believe what they saw and stood in awe at my decision to carry on. I persuaded them that I could promise them a better system of government, and that if they followed me, I could lead them to freedom. After that, they accepted me as their leader. The other mindless fools were quick to shove in my face that if I thought I could beat something that created me I should think again. That I should realize my wrongs and go tell the great creator that I was wrong to question his authority.

“Some of my followers listened to them, and went to repent. I wouldn't do that. There was no way I would bow out now. Plus, going back would only mean that my honor would be stripped.

“I had gone too far to turn back, and no matter what the consequences, I was willing to take them. I would never bow to the son of god, and I could not forgive him for the wrongs done to me. The highest crime was to rebel against god's government. All of heaven was in an uproar about it.

“Everyone was summoned before god, and I made my distaste for the situation at hand very vocal. God told me that I should aspire to be equal to his son. He told me that his son alone would be the sole informer of his purposes. Everyone must yield to him. I was deemed unworthy to be in heaven and I told him that I had an entire army behind me that supported my ordeals and that was ready to take my place upon the son's throne.

“I wanted a battle, strength against strength. God told me I could remain in heaven no longer. I wanted to set them free, to have them live a life free of the oppression of the son. Angels needed improvement. In fact, they all disgusted me. Why would they accept their places below man so easily? Why would they act as lowly servants to those who replaced them as being regarded as god's perfect masterpieces?

“We had a war and those loyal to the son of the god battle with my army and me. However, I lost the war and my followers and I were cast from heaven. On the way down, I became a dark angel and they all turned into demons,” the long-haired angel closed his eyes and his voice lowered as the end of his tragic tale came to a close. That was his story from the beginning to the end. It was all of the pain and anger that he experienced all of the rejection he faced. Lucifer was a man of triumph, someone who once held the world in his hands, only to be usurped by someone that was far closer to god than he was.

At one point in time, the angel held the highest respect for the entity that created him and now all that being did was cause him pain. Dare he even say such a thing, but it was a love that no one else could have even come close to feeling for the god. His fondest and most devastating memory mixed together in sickening cacophony.

“You felt betrayed by god because he liked his son more than you, and you felt he made the angels into slaves. You felt like you were doing a good thing by trying to liberate them,” Seraj felt like he could understand a bit better now. Lucifer's love for his god drove him to do things he felt was right and eventually caused a war between the angels in heaven.

“I believe that the angels shouldn't be treated like weak little pets. They are free-thinking, intelligent beings. Why should they allow themselves to be oppressed by others? I think that we shouldn't have to try and lead example lives. Everyone should be free to do what they like. You're deeply religious, right?” Lucifer questioned, arching an eyebrow to the boy he had just spilled his life's story to.

“Yes,” Seraj nodded. He wondered where exactly the angel was going with this question.

“Look at what it's done to you. You're just a sniveling child, crying over angering whatever gods you have. Life should be celebrated, taken advantage of. You only have one life, don't live it in fear. Enjoy it. Doing what you want makes for satisfaction and content. Isn't that why we live?” To Lucifer, abiding by rules and laws to make sure you got into a place you'd be judged on for entering made life so utterly pointless. There was no reason to live in fear and constantly be reined in by such pointless things as morals. It was far better to be carefree and happy than it was to walk on eggshells for fear that he was watching over them.

“You're Satan, of course you'd think that. Besides, just because I like you doesn't mean you can get me to do what you want,” if Lucifer thought that he was just going to whisper sweet nothings into his ear because Seraj admitted to having a crush on him, then he could think again.

“This is going to be a challenging little pact we have,” Lucifer would have it no other way.

“I'm doing what you want for now, but it doesn't mean that I'm giving into you. I made the pact between us. I admit what I did was wrong, and for what its word, I put you in a bad situation. I didn't feel bad back then but I do now, so much as my heart is filled with guilt, I'll go through with the plan to kill her. It's what I originally wanted. It's what I put you through all of this before.” It was time that he had done it. It was time that Seraj had owned up to his nefarious deeds and accepted his fate. After hearing the former archangel's story and knowing all of the struggles that he had gone through, Seraj didn't want to endanger him anymore.

He loved the devil, and there was nothing more he wanted than to see him happy and if that meant fulfilling the one thing that he had been fighting against all of this time, then he would throw caution to the wind. Whether or not he liked it, she was going to meet her ultimate fate and fighting against it was simply prolonging her death.

Seraj couldn't take it back. Once he made a deal with Lucifer, it sealed her fate. The most that he could do for now was make sure that she didn't continue to live in misery. For her and himself, he would lay the girl to rest.

He would bury the hatchet in her head.

“What about the rest?” The angel's words traveled to his ears.

“Being your bride?” The Nepali boy gritted his teeth in irritation. Was Lucifer really pressing that stupid point?

“Don't say you love me, then look at me like that,” the angel teased him. For all of that exposition that he just dumped out, Seraj still was held no remorse when it came to the icy stare he had mastered so well.

“I'd rather just be your partner.” There was no way he was wearing a dress for him. Lucifer could get that out of his head then and there.

“Fine,” the angel let the issue go, “I can settle with that.”

“Don't go thinking into that, either,” Seraj shot.

Lucifer frowned deeply.

It was time to avert the subject.

“What do we do next? You want to go through with your plan, let's get it over with,” Seraj would rather get all of this out of the way, rather than continue to linger on it. He had beaten the dead horse enough. It was time to move on. Besides, whatever got him away from the topic of cross dressing was fine with him.

“You should enjoy it. You're getting what you wanted,” Lucifer was going to shove that fact into his face time and time again until the deed was done. He wanted to remind Seraj that all of this happened because of his petty anger issues.

“Just tell me what I need to do,” the boy seethed in irritation.

The sooner he got this over with, the better.

…To Be Continued