Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Something About Him ❯ Reflections ( Chapter 18 )

AN: AN: I am SOOOOOOO sorry for the long break in this story. This particular chapter was giving me a really hard time, and to add to it, my father whom I've not heard from since I was 4 has suddenly been back in touch with me, so I've been all sorts of busy.

I'm still not perfectly happy with this chapter, but I feel like it's as good as it's going to get for now. Enjoy, and I promise faster updates lol

 

VegoSacamoto: Drama is indeed on the rise! ^_~

 

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Chapter 18

Reflections

 

Jason was so exhausted that he had contemplated bashing his head against the wall in order to knock himself out. His muscles ached from the constant shivering, and no matter how tightly he bundled himself into the blanket he never seemed to get any warmer.

 

He was sure that the silence was driving him mad. He looked forward to 4pm every day, not so much because he would get some small comfort, but because he longed for the sound of a human voice, even one that was being masked beyond recognition.

 

Jason had been doing a lot of thinking since being thrown in his private torture chamber.

No matter how he looked at it, he couldn't bring himself to be mad at Katan, and that scared him more than anything. He was afraid that he was breaking, but if he was truly honest with himself he had known all along in the back of his mind that all his suffering had been brought on by his own stubbornness and foolish pride.

 

He tried to analyze himself, tried to answer the question as to why he felt so entitled. What made him think he was above being a slave? He was just an orphan boy who nobody wanted. If he were to freeze to death right here the only to miss him would be Kara.

 

No. That's not true…

 

Jason knew deep down that Katan would miss him too. He knew the man wasn't the cruel monster he liked to envision vessels to be. In all honesty Jason had no idea where his hatred of vessels stemmed from. He'd hated them as long as he could remember.

 

That's not true either…

 

Now that he really thought about it, he vaguely remembered a vessel couple, a man and a woman who would visit at their home frequently. They were close friends of his parents, and he and Kara both used to be enamored by their strange powers, and their gentle strength. Their love for each other was overwhelming, and would fill any atmosphere the second they entered a room. They were always bringing he and Kara presents from their travels. He couldn't recall their names. He hardly recalled their faces. Everything about his time with his parents seemed like it was another lifetime ago. A blurry memory of a fading dream.

 

And when did I start hating the cold? I used to love the snow…

 

A smile pulled at the corners of Jason's lips as faded images of his childhood flooded his mind's eye. Visions of snow angels, and he and his mother dressing a snowman. The pout on his father's face when his mother came along and broke the sharp tips off of both of their ice cycle “swords” promptly scolding him for letting Jason play with dangerous objects. Little Kara using her emerald eyes to con Jason into giving her piggy back rides back to the top of the hill after they slid down it on their new sled.

 

Jason wondered briefly why times couldn't stay that simple and innocent as a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes.

 

So when didI start hating the cold?

 

Jason's eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated hard. He recalled the briefest sensation that he had been held captive someplace cold before, but his thoughts were disrupted as a sharp pain erupted in his head, causing him to cry out as his hands flew to his head.

 

The mechanical voice that came over the speaker had a distinct edge of concern. “Jason, are you alright?”

 

Jason took a few deep breaths as the pain, and the nausea it brought with it, began to subside.

 

“Jason?”

 

“Yes…I'm alright now…when will it be 4?” Jason didn't expect an answer. He'd asked the question before, with no reply.

 

“Soon.” Jason thought the mechanical voice sounded gentle, almost sympathetic, if that was at all possible.

 

“Thank you.”

 

*****

 

Katan had been alarmed at the cry of pain from Jason, but what concerned Natalie was the fluctuation in his brain waves on the monitor.

 

“What's wrong with him?” Katan demanded once Jason had assured them that he was ok.

 

Natalie felt a pang of guilt. She had been careless. Normally she insisted upon a full medical examination before beginning to train a slave. She had skipped that step here because, frankly, Katan made her nervous. She had never been employed by someone so important before. Sure she'd worked for Aristocrats before, but never one in such a position of power.

 

“I'm going to leave it up to you whether or not we should terminate his training.” Natalie's voice was solemn and full of self-reproach.

 

“Why would we do that?” The concern in Katan's voice was not any less, but his tone was a bit softer, seeing that she was clearly upset.

 

“What just happened is a sign of a certain type of mental distress…”

 

“His claustrophobia? “

 

“No…it seems your slave has had a memory block put in.”

 

 

“A memory block? Aren't those illegal? Aren't they dangerous?”

 

“For general use, yes, they are illegal, but governments sometimes use them to retain confidentiality. They are dangerous, but, a better solution than killing those who know sensitive information.”

 

“Why would Jason know something that a government wants to keep secret?” The confusion was evident on Katan's face.

 

Natalie shrugged. “There's no telling, but I'm willing to bet there's more to this boy than you know.”

 

“So, what caused the pain?”

 

“Most often, unless it's a common occurrence, it's caused by nothing more than the fact that the person was attempting to access those blocked memories, and the brain signals hit the block and had nowhere to go. It can cause a range of things to happen, from pain, to triggering strokes!”

 

“So they are most definitely very dangerous.”

 

“Yes, though cancer growing around the chip is more common than anything so serious as a stroke. The most commonly seen things are pain and seizures. I would recommend watching him very carefully. If it wasn't caused by his remembering, it may very well be early signs of a tumor. When his training is complete I would like permission to examine him to be sure that it is a memory chip as I strongly suspect.”

 

“Yes, of course…continue with his training, but let me know if it happens again.”

 

Natalie nodded her understanding, and Katan excused himself from the room.

 

*****

 

Jason found that getting lost in his thoughts helped the time pass much quicker. He had been getting lost in memories of his childhood, but now his thoughts were turning to Katan, and this training, and what it was he was supposed to learn.

 

At first Jason had thought that Katan had put him here because he was angry at him, but deep down he knew that wasn't the case. Katan had been nothing but patient and kind. He knew that vessels were quick to anger, but he didn't see Katan as being the type to hold a grudge.

 

At least I hope not…

 

Jason was surprised at how much it hurt him to think of Katan being angry with him. As much as he hated to admit it, he really did like Katan as a person. Now that he was beginning to see past his prejudice toward vessels, he saw that Katan really was an excellent master.

 

I suppose if I had to be a slave, he is exactly the kind of master I'd want to serve…

 

The direction Jason's thoughts had been taking were scaring him. He told himself it was the exhaustion speaking. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that his life with Katan was really much more comfortable than his life with his uncle had been. He didn't have to work nearly as hard, he wasn't worried about any basic needs, if only Kara was with him, he could see himself becoming accustomed to this life, even if it did mean kneeling at Katan's side.

 

What's the difference, really, kissing the ass of my uncle and my bosses in order to survive, or kissing Katan's ass in order to live comfortably? Especially when Katan asks much less of me…

 

Again, the direction of his thoughts worried him. He found himself wondering if there was a way to bend to Katan's will, without breaking his own. Could he become the person Katan wished him to be without sacrificing the person he was? Even if he couldn't, there were worse things he could become that the slave of a rich aristocrat.

 

A rich, beautiful, aristocrat.

 

Until now Jason hadn't allowed himself to think of Katan in any other light besides that of his enemy. But if he were to be honest with himself, he found the man very attractive. Katan was handsome, and he was so strong, yet so graceful. His very presence commanded respect, but his nature was really very gentle, and forgiving. He found himself wishing he could have the kind of relationship with him that Mark did.

 

They had such a special friendship, such a deep understanding of each other. Mark adored Katan, and though Mark was clueless to it, Jason was certain there was nothing Katan would deny him.

 

Jason couldn't blame Mark for his obvious infatuation with their master. If he hadn't been so intent on hating him, Jason could see himself loving Katan as well. In truth, he owed Katan a great deal for the effort he was putting into finding Kara.

 

And what will I do if he does find her?

 

Jason would be indebted to him. He would do anything at all to show his gratitude. Anything at all to ensure his baby sister's happiness.

 

I've given my childhood, my dreams, will I be asked to give up my freedom as well?

 

Jason knew that he would, and then smirked to himself as he looked around.

 

You fool, you already have. You were never free. Not even before the collar and master…you've been a prisoner since the day you pledged your life to protecting Kara.

 

Jason's thoughts weren't ones of self-pity, simply self-reflection. His smirk widened to a smile and he leaned against the wall contentedly as he realized that if he had it to do all over again, he wouldn't change a thing. Every sacrifice he had made was worth it.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

Katan almost didn't want to disturb his slave when 4pm rolled around and he saw that he was sleeping for the first time in nearly three days, but it was Natalie's rules that if he didn't get his request at 4, he would have to wait another 24 hours.

 

He watched as Jason jumped awake at the squawk of the speaker.

 

“Jason, it's time for your request. Katan is waiting.” Jason sat for a minute, looking conflicted. “We do not have all day, Jason, you should have made up your mind already.”

 

“Food. Master, may I please have some food?”

 

Katan's heart skipped a beat when he heard the title roll willingly, nearly effortlessly, off his slave's tongue.

 

“Stand with your…” Natalie didn't have to finish her statement, as Jason was already in position.

 

“I'll go see to it that he gets a nutritious meal.” Katan announced as he moved toward the door.

 

“A sandwich,” Natalie called, “nothing warm.”

 

Katan nodded his understanding as he slipped from the room.

 

*****

 

Jason's stomach growled twice as loud as he raised the sandwich to his lips and the first scent of the ham made it to his nose. Just as he was about to take a bite he noticed something shiny. Careful to shield his food from the camera's view with his blanket, he slipped the chocolate bar from between the bread and smiled.

 

Mark is really taking chances…not that I'm complaining, but I hope he doesn't get caught.

 

As Jason continued savoring his sandwich, he began to think of what he needed to do to get out of this room. He was beginning to lose patience in himself. He knew he was supposed to be learning something, but had no idea what. He knew that Katan must be more than frustrated with him by now.

 

Once the meal was gone, Jason pushed himself deeper into his corner and bundled up, though by now he knew that was pointless. He had resolved that tomorrow he would ask for clues about his training, but now, he couldn't wait to slip into merciful sleep again.

 

He was to be disappointed though, as sleep never returned to him.