Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Stones of Summer: Instinct ❯ Early Fall/18 ( Chapter 9 )

Fall/18

“All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.”
James Thurber (1894 - 1961)

It was with the early dawn rays that I heard the truck's motor. Surprised, I shot to my feet, searching the land. I found the dust cloud and found the truck. After I had removed myself from my spot, the truck swerved toward my direction, heading straight at me. It skidded to a stop, sliding along the dirt before slowing to a jerky stop. The door was flung open and Chris was out and storming up to me within a few seconds.
“Do you have any idea how stupid you are?!” He bellowed even though he was only inches from me. I flinched back. “What the hell were you thinking!!?” I cowed under his fierce glare and looked away.
“Did you even stop to think about the danger you were putting yourself in?!” I peered into his face. He looked like he hadn't slept all night. I probably looked the same, but I didn't really care. He shook me a bit as if he didn't think I was paying attention, which I was, really.
“The tigers are running about, and you decide you can just run off without a care in the world. News flash little girl, there are things out there you aren't prepared to face!” I shied away from him, not liking what he was saying one bit. I had tried the best I could, there was no way I could be great at everything. He let go of my arm momentarily to scrub at his face with his fists. I took my chance. I dashed to the side, grabbed up my things and took off. I closed my eyes and let my instinct lead me home. I could hear Chris yelling after me and the gun of the motor as he kicked it into gear. I ran along the forest's edge, and when I looked into it, I saw a tiger, large and intimidating, running along side of me. I blinked once and it was gone. Chris caught up to me easily enough and swerved the truck in my path to stop me. I stopped for fear of being hit. He pushed the passenger side door opened and glared heatedly at me.
“Get. In. Now.” He gritted out. I did. It seemed like a while until he talked, having finally cooled down, somewhat, at least most of the tension had drained from the veins in his neck.
“Why are you always running away?!” He was angry.
“Why are you angry?” I hadn't meant to say that. He ran a hand through his hair and stared down at me.
“I'm not angry! I'm frustrated and confused! Nothing you do makes any sense anymore, you aren't acting like yourself!” I pressed my lips into a thin line to hold back the tears.
“I know, I'm sorry. I can't help it, I'm trying.” He instantly deflated and held his hands up as if in surrender.
“No, don't, I didn't mean to make you cry.” I twisted my hands together, staring at the glove compartment box..
“Why are you always running? What are you running from?” The drops formed on my eyelashes. I rolled my eyes up as I wiped at them, shaking my head and smiling ruefully.
“The past, myself, the future, I don't even know anymore.” I cleared my throat and turned to look over my shoulder.
“All I do know is that I have to keep running, I have to keep moving, or something horrible is going to happen.” I crossed my arms and kept my gaze away from him. I didn't want to see how he reacted to what I was saying. It sounded crazy even to me.
“What's going to happen?” I heaved in air shakily, completely expecting that question. This time I did meet his eyes.
I studied his features before I answered, tears clouding my vision.
“Someone is going to die.” I whispered hoping against hope that he wouldn't hear me. He looked like he had been shocked. Fear flashed across his face briefly.
“Who? Why? When?” Now I laughed bitterly.

The ride back was filled with a tense silence. I needed to be quick, I needed a plan. I needed to explain why I was acting the way I was, why I had changed.
When we pulled up to the house, everybody was waiting for us. I was handed off from person to person as if a delicate china doll. Mom took me into my room, pulling out sleep wear for me and smoothing my matted hair down. She sat me on the bed next to her and I waited on baited breath for the accusation.
“Jannie honey, your dad and I were talking, and we wanted to know if it would be okay if someone came and talked with you, just for you...” She trailed off, her attention straying slightly. It snapped back almost instantly. “He's one of the men we worked with a few years back, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if he came and talked with you for a bit, and you could...talk... with him. I understand that there are somethings kids just can't tell their parents, so he has assured me that everything will be completely confidential, and he won't tell anything of what you say-” I had opened my mouth repeatedly to reply, but she just hurried on, spitting it all out as if she thought the words were poison. I held her hand.
“Mom, mom!” Her eyes flitted to mine. I gave a half smile.
“Thank you. And okay. I need you to trust me right now, I can't talk about it right now, maybe later, but right now, you need to believe what I say, even if it doesn't make sense...” She nodded and I stared at the tears lines that ran down her face. She grasped my face in both hands and whimpered.
“Oh, my baby, what has happened to you? I've been such a bad mother!” She murmured and kissed both my cheeks. “You've grown up so fast, I can hardly believe you can function with your old mom doing things for you...” I realized how true that statement was.
“It'll be okay mom. And even if its not, don't think for a moment that you were any less a mother then I deserved.” She clucked her tongue and smoothed my hair over again, holding me to her chest.
“Very well, I may not like it, but for now, I will except what you say as true.” I held my breath and fought not to shudder. She needed this. Maybe I did too.

I sat, fidgeting on the couch. I picked at the exposed threads and chewed my lip.
At last the door opened and I jumped to my feet. A man in a t-shirt and dress slacks with shiny black shoes entered. He wasn't who I was expecting. I took a step back and lowered my stance, glowering a bit at him.
He studied me and I felt like a rat.
“Hello Jancy.” I took another step back and studied him like he was studying me. Mom came through behind him with Chris and Dad.
Frowning, I took one more step back.
“Jan honey, this is Mr. Ian Woon. Remember, we talked about him...” I forced myself out of my defensive position.
“I didn't know he was coming so soon.” Mom smiled softly, moving around the man to hold my arm in her's.
“Well, I thought, the sooner the better...if that's okay...?” She suddenly looked afraid and unsure. I forced a smile to my face, hating every second of it.
“Sure mom, that's fine.” Her face lit up again and she clapped her hands together. I grimaced and turned away.
“Let's give them some time to talk. Out, out. Yes you too Chris, let's go. We have work to do anyway. Ian, feel free to anything in the kitchen. Jan will help you.” With that, the three of them were out the door, leaving me alone with Mr. Ian Woon.
I glanced at the room, scanning, stalling, doing everything to not look at him.
“Why don't you have a seat Jan, its okay if I call you that, right?” I nodded. I realized though that he was looking at me expectantly, I flinched.
“If it's all the same, I'd rather stand.” He nodded and wrote something down on the pad he had out.
“Okay, whatever makes you comfortable. So basically, I'm just going to tell you the run down, your mom told you what I do for a living, yes?” He spoke so quickly. I nodded.
“You analyze people's behaviors and their reasoning skills to determine if they are crazy.” He chuckled.
“I wouldn't put it exactly like that, but yes, basically. I owe your mom a favor, so here I am. I'm going to be living here for a few weeks to study you and everyone else. Is that okay with you?” My skin was crawling. But I had to do this, I could never forgive myself if mom became depressed or stressed.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we go outside? It's stuffy in here...” He stood and dusted off his back.
“That's fine, you can show me around.” I had no intention of doing that, my skin itched and I needed to move.
“Sure.”
'That didn't sound very enthusiastic.' I pressed my lips together in an effort not to respond to her.
When I opened the door, mom and dad jumped back, acting like they hadn't just been listening at the door.
“So... how'd things go?” I rolled my eyes.
“Dad, we didn't just tell my entire life story in five minutes. It has only taken up 18 years, I'm sure telling it should take up at least six minutes.” Mom laughed lightly at my annoyance. I leaned on to my toes, ready to go the minute I could.
“Where's Chris?” I didn't want him running after me and dying from being out of shape, at least, more out of shape then me. Mom and dad looked around themselves.
“I'm not sure, I think he's going to look for Myali.” Damn! Maybe if I just avoided the part of the woods, I wouldn't run into him.
“Jan was about to give me a tour of the grounds.” He looked over the each of us. Mom smiled hugely, happy at the chance to show off their work to an outsider.
“Well, there isn't much, this part of the compound is mostly the homes of the researchers-” Mr. Woon placed a hand on mom's shoulder.
“Kris, I think it would be better it Jan showed me-” I wasn't waiting for him to finish that sentence. I darted out and kissed both mom and dad on the cheeks and darted off.
“I'll be back in time for dinner.” I pushed myself farther faster. I wanted, needed, to get away. I gave a shriek and lurched away when I neared an cage in which a tiger resided in. It reared and swatted it's paws at the metal and roared. I lost my footing, but pushed off again, in a different direction.
'I think I'll go out to the plain this time.' I passed three of my stone towers as I went.
'Don't go to far.' I dodged around a fallen tree and lunged off a slight drop. I skidded to a halt to listen. There was a cracking behind me. The instant I stopped it did as well. I jogged a bit more and listened.
'Something is following me...' The quiet pant and hiss gave the cat away. Without waiting to find out if it really was Myali, I took off, arching around to run back toward the compound. Complete and utter fear swallowed me whole. This was the creature that took Waylen's life! And now it wanted mine. I sped up, running out of energy and stamina and breathing harshly. I burst from the tree line and spotted Chris, mom, dad and the other man. I didn't have time to care how I looked. I must have looked petrified. But they weren't looking at me. I ran to Chris, who was closest.
“Chris!” I screamed, wasting some of my precious breath. I was already heaving for air. He turned to me, everyone did.
“Tiger!” I was terrified, and he knew it. Myali came pounding out right after me, close on my heels. I pushed myself harder, begging my body to move faster. I would pay for it later, but that wouldn't matter if I didn't get away. My lungs burned and I was lightheaded. I worked my jaws and fingers to get some oxygen back in them.
I tried to get behind him and ended up skidding on the ground, catching myself on my hands and toes. Even then I still slid back, I had been going so fast. Without looking down at me, he grabbed my arm and yanked me up and behind him. Myali dropped his bottom down to slow himself and jumped up on Chris, licking his face and chewing on his hair.
Mom and dad laughed as Chris pushed the large cat off and rubbed his face and head. He looked up at me, holding the tiger by the collar on it.
“He was just playing.” Chris put a chunk of meat on the rod and pointed it away from the both of us. Myali sniffed around it before taking it and moving away to eat it. I pressed a hand over my heart and leaned down on my knees, gasping for air.
“He...was... not...playing...” I wiped sweat from my closed eyes. I was trying to think of my heart beating so fiercely. It may have burst in my chest with the pain I felt. Dad placed a hand on my back and offered me his bottle of water. I took it, but moved away from the crowd. Chris kept a hand on my elbow as I moved back to lean against the chain fence. Mom and Dad were talking to Mr. Woon. I could feel myself shaking, from both physical exertion and fear. The thundering of my heart wouldn't ease.
'He was not playing...'
'He may have been...' I gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes closed.
“He was not playing when he...” killed Waylen. I couldn't say it out loud, it was too painful. She tsked and clucked her non-existent tongue.
'Myali did not kill Waylen-' I didn't let her finished, I shut her down. I know Myali didn't kill Waylen, he was just an animal, he was just doing what animals do. I killed him.
“He's fine honey-” Mom saw that her brushing off the situation wasn't helping. My breathing was speeding up and I panicked. I needed to get away. I turned to run, but saw Myali in my path and froze, terrified. He just stared at me with those calm, unearthly eyes. It was as if he knew my confession, he knew my guilt. I gripped my hands, wringing them nervously, breathing shallowly.
“But is she?” I twirled around to see Mr. Woon staring at me. Instinct told me to hide my fear, hide my pain. He was a predator. He was doing a fine job of stalking me. I straightened up, closed my eyes and held my breath until I thought I would pass out. I let it out slowly.
“Please, excuse me.” I said to him, inching around him.
“Mom, call me when you're ready to start dinner, I'll help.” She nodded, touching her fingers to her lips as if holding in what she wanted to say.
I skittered past Mr. Woon and Myali, darting into the house. I pulled my blankets off my bed and shoved myself into my closet with them. In this dark space I pressed the clothes to my face and screamed. When I couldn't breathe, I stared at the door, wishing that none of this had ever happened.

Mom dragged me outside with a grin.
The entire team was there, grinning like loons and chatting among themselves. Dad had the black radar gun in his hands.
“Mom...what's going on here?” Mom clapped her hands together twice, gathering everyone's attention. She turned to me.
“Well, since you have been running so much” I flinched. “and you are so fast, we thought we could clock you.” I stared at her for a second, not completely understanding what she was saying.
'Clock me? Hit me? What?' She sighed.
'She wants to see how fast we go.' Oh! That made more sense. I shrugged.
“Okay. What do I have to do?” She smiled and laughed, obviously excited. She pointed toward the far end of the compound.
“Start there and run through here as fast as you possibly can. We've put the tigers in the pens, so they won't chase after you, so you can go right into the woods if you can't stop in time.” I nodded and jogged down to the other end.
“Stretch and do what you need to do to warm up.” Dad called over to me. They were all standing in a straight line, shoulder to shoulder. I would have to run right past them. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I could feel the instinctual side of my, deep down in me. It was sitting there, waiting, pacing. When I called it forth, it sprung into action.
Without much thought, my body moved, my legs pounding the earth, my sight set on the woods. My breathing shortened, and my steps fell in time with each exhale. In through the nose, out through the mouth. The world flew by as I sped along. There was a collective shout, which I assumed was the team, but my instinct was warning me of something. Something to pay attention to. A slit of amber eyes glaring out of the woods.
I stopped on a dime, my upper body lurching forward. I could only stare at it. I should have moved, I should have warned my family but I didn't. I couldn't. I made its move, and I hit the ground with such force I thought I my back broken. I threw my arm up to block my throat and the animal bit into me. I screamed and flailed, kicking out and hit it. I tried to scratch the eyes out but I couldn't reach my arm up. This tiger was much bigger than the tigers my parents took care of. I grabbed the mouth flap and twisted it with all my might. The big cat yowled and bit down harder. I tried to shove my captured arm further in its mouth, to make it gag, but it [my arm] was firmly locked in the teeth. I dared to look back, behind me as saw everyone rushing around. Chris had one of the pole and had a large chunk of meat already stabbed on it. He was going to try and distract it. That would be too dangerous. My dad came around from inside the house with a shotgun.
Before anyone could make any decisions, I was launched off my back, twirled around and tossed to the ground.
Someone had a hand on my short collar, pulling me back, before I could determine which way was up. There were howls and screams coming from behind, or in front of, me, and I could only assume the growls and hisses were from two tigers fighting. I was pulled to my feet.
“Get up! You are weak to them on the ground, stand, you are stronger.” Chris was pressed against my side, hauling me up while keeping his pole hand aimed at the ground. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed in fear and shock. The pain hadn't completely set in yet. I was having trouble finding my feet as Chris tried to shuffle backwards, towards my house. At some point, he must have judged us a good distance away, he dropped the rod and clasped my face in both hands.
“You're okay. Get up now. You're okay, focus on me.” I was shaking terribly and my teeth clattered together. Somehow I found my way to my feet and urged myself up. I gripped at his arms and shirt, anything I could hold on to. We took two steps and I collapsed with a cry of panic. A loud yowl had passed too close for comfort.
“Damn it.” I was pulled into his arms and he carried me into the house. The kitchen table was quickly and noisily cleared of its contents and I was placed on it.
“Get water, maybe juice.” My head was spinning. My stomach too. I gripped Chris's arm. My head lolled back
“Chris...I don't feel too good...” Nausea was threatening to spill fourth, and I fought myself to keep my breakfast down.

I was terrified the next morning when I woke and removed to the kitchen only to find Mr. Woon sitting with a newspaper in hand. He glanced at me from over the top.
“G'morning Jancy, did you sleep well?” I sneered.
“Not one bit.” He didn't sit right with me. I kept my tongue still from more sarcastic remarks when mom and dad came in, toting Chris, Ferguson and Claudine behind them.
“Morning Jancy, how are you feeling?” Mom placed a kiss on my cheek as she passed me. I flinched. Mr. Woon raised an eyebrow. I felt bile rise in my throat. Everyone took a place at the table, small talking as Dad and Claudine started breakfast. I kept to myself the entire time, feeling out of place.
When breakfast was done and the dishes washed, I moved outside, needing the space. I looked to the woods, and then the tiger cages where the two she-tigers were being held for care. One was with cubs, the other requiring her vaccines. The screen door opened and slammed closed behind me.
“Jancy, I was hoping we could spend a bit of time talking, getting to know one another.” I bit my cheek to keep from retorting. Chris passed us and tapped my cheek.
“Be good, you agreed.” And in response I took off running for the forest. I didn't want to face this right now. I wanted to live in the blessed ignorance more than I wanted anything else.
I passed over and under fallen trees, dodging around my stone towers, the few that I had placed up to mark the land. I became aware of someone following me and slowed to a halt in a clearing. Chris arrived a few seconds later, needing to lean down on his knees to catch his breath.
“Why did you run?” I shrugged and held myself. I wandered over to a boulder and sat myself on the ground, holding my knees.
“I was scared.” He crouched, leaning on a rock to help him sit down. I stared off into the forest.
“What are you scared of?”
'You.' But I couldn't say that aloud. Still, I couldn't stop my face from heating up. It didn't go unnoticed.
I buried my face in my knees.
“I don't want to tell you.” I hoped he hadn't heard. He sighed.
“What is it that you aren't telling us?” A giddiness welled within me. I wanted to tell him. Everything.
'Tell him, he will listen, he will help.' I was ready. I turned my head to look up at him. I smiled.
“Do you want me to tell you a story?” It still came out as a whisper. He raised an eyebrow.
“I'm a little old for bedtime stories, don't you think?” The giggle that came out was purely panic.
“Oh no, I wouldn't tell this story to a child. Much too much horror, too much agony.” He slouched down.
“Did you know that your fairy tales and bedtime stories are all actually revised for children. The men who actually wrote them made them sinister, and most didn't have happy endings.” I jumped up and ran behind a tree.
“What are you doing?” I covered my eyes with my fingers. I only realized he had followed when he pulled them away.
“Hiding. I don't want to see how sad you are going to be when I tell you this story.” I put my fingers back but peered through them. He smiled and rolled his eyes.
“Tell me this story.”
“Once upon a time, there was a girl who was going somewhere against her parents wishes...” I slid down against the tree.
'This is really gonna' happen...' Chris interrupted me.
“Hypothetically?” He asked sarcastically. I grinned. It was still the panic induced giddiness in me that made me act so foolish.
“Of course.” I dropped my hands and just closed my eyes, picturing everything as I told him.
“But on the way there, something happened that would change the girl's life for ever. She would never be the same. But this something didn't happen for nearly as long as the girl thought it did. She was greatly perturbed by this fact. So perturbed that her sense of time was greatly disturbed.” I knew I wasn't doing this right. I should tell him the whole truth.
'You should, it will only benefit us.' I ignored her.
“So what happened to this girl?” I frowned, biting my lower lip.
“Don't clam up, keep talking.” I frowned harder and stood.
“What do you fear?” I looked to Chris who had sat himself on the ground. He was peeling pieces of crab grass apart.
“Dying, and not being able to help those who are close to me.” I looked away when he focused on me.
“What do you fear? It is the tigers? Or people?” I heard him stand.
“We should get back to the house. We may be needed.” I left as quick as I could, having to lunge over a tower. I pressed into the humid darkened trees, knowing he knew he had hit the nail on the head.

When I broke the forest wall, I saw dad standing at the door with his hands on his hips. I was weary going near him.
“Jance, you can't keep running away.” I know that, don't think for a moment that I didn't know that, but I needed to for now. He let me pass, and I jogged into the kitchen, intending to grab a glass of water. Sweat made my shirt cling to me in the most uncomfortable ways, so I made a beeline for my room. I grabbed a tank top, shorts and under clothes, and the towel that had been thrown over the door handle. I moved to the bathroom and sighed at the cool tile. I took a cold shower, filling my hair with more shampoo than necessary, but the bugs were all nearly gone. I wanted them away. I dressed in the chilled room, instantly starting to sweat when I stepped out. Dropping my dirty clothes in my hamper, I padded quietly to the kitchen.
No one was around as I leaned up to retrieve a glass, and no one was there when I turned on the faucet. But there was definitely someone there when I turned around to sit at the table. I choked on the small sip I had taken and leaned over the sink as I spit it back up.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you.” I glared at him. My ass he didn't! Instead of saying that, I nodded and stood, nervously, next to the table. I wanted to sit, but didn't trust this man enough to do so. He sat, folding his hands on the table.
“So Jancy, you run pretty fast.” I nodded again, holding the lip of the glass to my mouth.
“You must have had a lot of practice.” Again I nodded.
“What do you like about running?” I pursed my lips, trying to see if the question had an ulterior motive behind it. It seemed innocent enough.
“I like the wind in my hair, and the pounding of the earth, and the fact that nothing can reach me, that I can leave everything behind...” I bit my tongue hard when I spoke, having said too much. The words seemed to spill out of my mouth.
I slammed my glass down and walked away. This man was tricky. I had to watch what I was saying and doing even more now then ever.

Vaguely, I heard a knocking at my bedroom door, but it didn't register. I was blissfully in dream land, with Waylen. We were on the plane, yet it hadn't crashed, and we both got off in England. And we bumped into one another and met.
“Jan? She's not in here...” Subconsciously I could hear him, but my mind was rather occupied at how we would have met if the plane had not crashed. I was suddenly assaulted by light, and I murmured against it. I wanted to stay dreaming. I wanted to stay where I was, with Way alive.
“She's in here.” I felt myself being moved, picked up and then placed down on something much softer than what I had been sleeping on, and much wider. I sprawled out, twisted half on my stomach, half on my side.
Someone was tugging at my shoes, taking them off I assume, and took my ponytail out. My hair fanned out over my shoulder as the blankets were pulled off me a bit. Cool air was swirling around me and it felt nice to breathe.
The light disappeared.
I was left in darkness, my mind unsure what just happened. Unsure where to go, it took me to the darkest recess of my mind. The little black box I used to keep my sinister thoughts away. I should use it to keep her away.
'You can't. I'm you. If you put me away, you put yourself away.' I knew it wouldn't be that easy.
'It never is.'
Right now, all that was stuffed into my black box was the thoughts I had when I wanted to lie down and die, the utter despair of loosing Way, and the complete surrender after wards. My mind delved into everyone of these thoughts.
In every detail.
Every agonizing detail.

I woke with tears in my eyes, stifling myself on my blankets.

Bleary eyes and nearly passing out on the couch, I tried to pay attention to the conversation Mom and Mr. Woon were having. My mind was in a fog from lack of decent sleep and the amount of food I was being forced to eat. To the comfort of everyone, I was in fact eating it and I had gained a few pounds in the last few days, although I had been sick multiple times from eating too much. My stomach was only so big! I laid out on the couch, cradling my cheek on the back of my hands. Finally my eyes closed. I still tried to listen. I tried to pay extra attention.
“She has undergone a huge trauma, she's having difficulty coming back to reality. Just support her as much as you can and give her time. These things can tear a person apart if they move too fast...” I was out.

My head fell back but it wasn't enough to rouse me from sleep. I grumbled, trying to turn over, but I was kept in place. I flailed weakly, trying to get purchase on something, and I did. I rolled onto a blanket, and found my pillow. I cuddled into it and resumed my dream.

Mom dragged me outside with a grin.
The entire team was there, grinning like loons and chatting among themselves. Dad had the black radar gun in his hands.
“Mom...what's going on here?” Mom clapped her hands together twice, gathering everyone's attention. She turned to me.
“Well, since you have been running so much” I flinched. “and you are so fast, we thought we could clock you.” I stared at her for a second, not completely understanding what she was saying.
'Clock me? Hit me? What?' She sighed.
'She wants to see how fast we go.' Oh! That made more sense. I shrugged.
“Okay. What do I have to do?” She smiled and laughed, obviously excited. She pointed toward the far end of the compound.
“Start there and run through here as fast as you possibly can. We've put the tigers in the pens, so they won't chase after you, so you can go right into the woods if you can't stop in time.” I nodded and jogged down to the other end.
“Stretch and do what you need to do to warm up.” Dad called over to me. They were all standing in a straight line, shoulder to shoulder. I would have to run right past them. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I could feel the instinctual side of my, deep down in me. It was sitting there, waiting, pacing. When I called it forth, it sprung into action.
Without much thought, my body moved, my legs pounding the earth, my sight set on the woods. My breathing shortened, and my steps fell in time with each exhale. In through the nose, out through the mouth. The world flew by as I sped along. There was a collective shout, which I assumed was the team, but my instinct was warning me of something. Something to pay attention to. A slit of amber eyes glaring out of the woods.
I stopped on a dime, my upper body lurching forward. I could only stare at it. I should have moved, I should have warned my family but I didn't. I couldn't. I made its move, and I hit the ground with such force I thought I my back broken. I threw my arm up to block my throat and the animal bit into me. I screamed and flailed, kicking out and hit it. I tried to scratch the eyes out but I couldn't reach my arm up. This tiger was much bigger than the tigers my parents took care of. I grabbed the mouth flap and twisted it with all my might. The big cat yowled and bit down harder. I tried to shove my captured arm further in its mouth, to make it gag, but it [my arm] was firmly locked in the teeth. I dared to look back, behind me as saw everyone rushing around. Chris had one of the pole and had a large chunk of meat already stabbed on it. He was going to try and distract it. That would be too dangerous. My dad came around from inside the house with a shotgun.
Before anyone could make any decisions, I was launched off my back, twirled around and tossed to the ground.
Someone had a hand on my short collar, pulling me back, before I could determine which way was up. There were howls and screams coming from behind, or in front of, me, and I could only assume the growls and hisses were from two tigers fighting. I was pulled to my feet.
“Get up! You are weak to them on the ground, stand, you are stronger.” Chris was pressed against my side, hauling me up while keeping his pole hand aimed at the ground. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed in fear and shock. The pain hadn't completely set in yet. I was having trouble finding my feet as Chris tried to shuffle backwards, towards the house. At some point, he must have judged us a good distance away, he dropped the rod and clasped my face in both hands.
“You're okay. Get up now. You're okay, focus on me.” I was shaking terribly and my teeth clattered together. Somehow I found my way to my feet and urged myself up. I gripped at his arms and shirt, anything I could hold on to. We took two steps and I collapsed with a cry of panic. A loud yowl had passed too close for comfort.
“Damn it.” I was pulled into his arms and he carried me into the house. The kitchen table was quickly and noisily cleared of its contents and I was placed on it.
“Get water, maybe juice.” My head was spinning. My stomach too. I gripped Chris's arm. My head lolled back
“Chris...I don't feel too good...” Nausea was threatening to spill fourth, and I fought myself to keep my breakfast down. I slammed my head forward so hard my chin smacked my collar bone. A cloth was being pressed to my arm. A loud 'bang' broke the rushed silence in the house and I exhaled heavily. I stood, holding on to Chris to steady myself. Despite his complaints, I walked outside. My knees shook every few steps and my heart was still racing but I needed to know. Dad and Ferguson were standing over the felled tiger. Myali was not in sight. The shot probably scared him off.
“Is he dead?” They both looked up at me and I realized Ferguson had a tranquilizer gun in his hand as well.
“No. Wounded, but not dead. We'll have to work fast to save it.” I nodded, feeling oddly detached from the situation. Everything was a flurry. Dad and Ferguson worked quickly to tie the big cat up and then place it in one of the trucks. They left within a word, leaving only clouds of dust behind them. Claudine was working at shoveling over the blood stains. The tigress in her pen moaned from the back and howled mournfully. I kept my grip on Chris, who held me up when I otherwise should have collapsed. Tremors ran their course through my body, and I felt beyond weak. Some one was keeping pressure on my arm and I glance from the corner of my eye to see Mr. Woon holding the cloth around my arm. Why hadn't I noticed him before? Mom popped out of nowhere and pulled said cloth away to examine my arm.
“That nasty little bugger has been terrorizing anything that moves within a ten mile radius. Some of the natives say that he's been attackin' people for a few weeks. Some say he caught a man unawares out in the wilderness and has had a taste for human since...” My knees gave out form under me and my eyes rolled back.
“Way...” All my breath was forced out of my lungs.

Night had fallen, my arm was stitched up and I still felt sick to my stomach. That tiger had killed Way?! Not Myali? I followed Chris and mom outside. They were looking for dad's truck, but it was never in sight. They hadn't said when they would be back, it could take days, maybe a week... who knew? I turned the other way, peering into the forest, trying to see what my heart wanted me to see. I owed Myali an apology. I had been blaming him, and myself, though I deserved it, for the death of Way. He hadn't done it, some rogue did. Maybe, if that tiger hadn't been traveling, he wouldn't have found Way, and Waylen would still be alive, and none of this would have happened. Maybe it wasn't all my fault?
“What are you thinking Jancy?” I didn't bother turning. I was getting use to people sneaking up on me. I tapped my fists together lightly. Mr. Woon was especially good at catching me at moments when I was least likely to have my guard up.
“Do the things that people do, do they change what is to come?” I asked. I looked at him over my shoulder, expecting a raised eyebrow or quizzical stare. Instead, he shrugged.
“It depends on what you believe in. Do you believe in God or fate?” He continued on without my answer.
“If so, then there is little anyone can do to change the future. They can make small changes, like what they eat or wear, but the large events are played out for us. Its how we cope with them that we control.” I nodded and looked to the sky when it suddenly got dark. The normally blue sky was a deep brown almost black color and it gave a thunderous peal before dropping buckets of water on us.
The rain poured, and poured and poured. I was drenched before I even had time to think of cover. And yet, even standing in the rain, I had never more wanted to be soaked. The drops flooded the land and gave to the earth a drink of relief. It was raining. The house was just feet away, and for my own health, I should have gone with Chris and mom when they ran to get out of the downpour, but I just couldn’t move. The months I had spent in the heat, the dry aching crevices in the land, the crazed animal and people. It had all been for this. For something I had never realized the importance of. Water. Rain. I turned back to the house, tempted to do what the normal thing was and head indoors. Mom, dad, Chris and Ferguson were all staring out the front window. Staring at me. I was tempted to go back in the house, to act normal, but I realized, I wasn’t normal, not anymore. I had lost my normalcy of civilization the minute I had to kill that first deer. And I found myself yearning to return to that life. It had been simplistic. You slept, ate, and moved on. You did not have to worry about anything that society deemed important. You just had to survive. I turned back to the woods, standing in the rain with every pore on my body opened wide to the onslaught. My body begged for reprieve from the heat, and this rain gave it to me. Goose flesh rose all over me and I shivered, yet I wasn’t freezing. I was cool with my wet hair dripping down my neck and back. I watched in apprehension was Myali padded, quietly, out of the forest. He was soaking in the rain as well. He was a creature of the world, he knew only how to survive, and he would survive. He would live on. Our eyes met and stayed together. We ignored the wail of the birds in the trees above, crying out in joy, we ignored the slam of the screen door, we ignored the world around. We were one on some deeper level. We would do what we would have to do to survive, at all costs, no matter the consequences, ‘cause in life, there were no second chances. Myali’s eyes darted to the left of my face and then back, and I knew he was looking at the person coming up behind me. A hand grasped my wrist and started to pull me back.
“Don’t give him direct eye contact and move slowly. He won’t bother you.” Chris. He was concerned for me, he knew my fear and he was working to relieve it. But I didn’t fear Myali anymore. Waylen’s words echoed in my ears. Fear holds you back, fear will be the death of you. I held a great respect for him, he was the hunter I could never be, the perfect killer. My human morals interrupted with what I needed to do. When I did the things I needed to do, I would torture myself over it in the end. And he hadn't killed Waylen, and maybe I didn't either. Myali dropped to his stomach and raised his head up high. I pulled my hand away and moved toward him. His gaze didn’t flinch. I knelt in front of him and pressed my hands to the sides of his face. He growled and flicked his tongue out, bathing my wrist in saliva. The rain washed it away. I pressed my face to his fur and smiled. The rain would wash away anything that would affect me, and though, right now I was inhuman in more ways then I should be, I would return to human just like the rain returned to the land, and Myali returned to his territory.
But first I needed to start fresh, like the land would when the rain was gone.

I was soon yanked back from my revelation by Chris, who must have thought I was trying to kill myself. He turned me around and began to walk me back to the house. Myali growled but only stalked back into the forest.
“What are you doing?” He spat. He was angry again. I stopped, nearly being pulled along when he didn't. I tugged on him to get him to stop too.
“I know why I run now. Mr. Woon opened my eyes to it.” I couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, so I pretended.
“I'm scared, of a lot of things. I wanted to run away from it all, accept that it never happened. I was told to forget it, I could only survive if I forgot. So that's what I've been doing. I've been trying to find home, but I've made myself forget what home is, so I can't find it.” I didn't know where I was going with this. Chris didn't wait for me to start up again. He hauled my skinny self into the house.
“Go shower before you catch a cold.” Oh the irony! I hugged mom and smiled.
“Thank you.” They were all staring at me and I was sure I looked insane, but I felt better. I felt refreshed. The rain on my skin sent shivers through me, but I was glad it had rained.
Summer was over.

Mom gave me painkillers for my arm and put me to bed early. I didn't complain. I was tired, and I hoped that I would sleep through the entire night. Surely a revelation of such a degree would give me peace in my sleep!