Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Striplings ❯ The Black Sheep ( Chapter 11 )

Only six more chapters to go!!! Thanks to everyone who's been reading!

 

 

Chapter 11

 

The Black Sheep

 

1

 

Early January is the coldest time of year in the Midwest. The walk from the gym to my car was short, but my tears had already nearly frozen to my face. My body was shaking uncontrollably either from the cold or from the fact that I'd hurt my only friend. Either way I should have worn a coat. Back to the matter at hand. Why did I say that to Rose? Rose is the last person that deserves that. But I was so mad at Kevin for going back to Essie. My god, Essie Akers. There is nothing attractive about her. She isn't ugly, but just there, plain.

 

I blasted the heat on high. The car my father had bought me last year was newer, so it didn't take long to feel warm. My head started feeling a little light, but that was probably just from the cold. When I pulled away I didn't know where I was going. Creston Hills isn't that large of a town, so I just drove in circles. Finally I settled on Malcolm's house.

 

The music was loud and the rooms were crowded. Someone handed me a drink and I gulped it down. It'd been a shit week. More quickly than ever before the room was spinning. All I'd had was one drink, so what was I feeling? My first thought was that someone had put a drug in my drink, but that seemed wrong. Before I could get any further, I was sliding down. Two hands clamped down on me and lifted me up. It seemed like a long journey across the house to one of the bedrooms. Finally my savior sat me down on a bed.

 

“How much have you had to eat today Stacy?” I knew that voice and so did my body. Goosebumps were tingling to the surface of my arms. “Stacy!” His shout made my eyes pop open, but my head slumped down.

 

“I haven't had anything to eat, but I do this all the time. Maybe I'm coming down with something.” Suddenly I was alone, and free to collapse on the bed. A flash later he was back.

 

“Drink this and eat this.” Without looking I took a few gulps and shoved the food in. “You have to stop doing this to yourself Stacy?”

 

“Doing what?” I barely got the words through my full mouth.

 

“You know what. You barely eat, and work yourself into a frenzy everyday at STOMPS. What? It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. You never eat and you've dropped a ton of weight since the school year started. Don't get me wrong, you look great, but you shouldn't lose any more weight.” He handed me another piece of bread.

 

“Why do you even care Jose? Aren't you supposed to be a two-timing jerk?” As I finished the work `jerk' the last part thing he said hit me. I looked great?

 

“Aren't you supposed to be a cheating slut?” If there hadn't been a smile in his voice, I would have dumped the rest of the water on his head. But instead I stared up at him and really looked. Jose was so beautiful, even I'd been afraid to talk to him. Not to mention he was the smartest person in our class. The only other things I did know about him came from my perspective as Rose's friend.

 

“Perhaps we belong together then.” It was a brash statement, but it wasn't the first time I'd compared myself to him.

 

“I'll make you a deal. You tell me about your night and maybe I won't feel so bad about mine.”

 

“Aren't you here with Mandy?”

 

“Right now I don't want to be around Mandy or anyone else who thinks life is just one big happy party. You're the only here that feels as shitty as I do. I'm kind of glad you nearly passed out in front of me.” I sighed and we both slid back on the bed. I let my head lay in the crook of his arm, which came slightly around me.

 

There was really no way to tell him just about tonight. So without even asking him, I poured my heart out to him. From my fling with Kevin to the rebuilding with Robert, then back to Kevin, my missed proposal, and then getting dumped for Essie Akers. When Jose was still next to me at the end, I considered that more than I could have asked for.

 

“We have more in common than I thought. It's weird, but comforting at the same time. You don't have any long lost siblings do you?” I turned my face up to him, wondering if he was serious.

 

“They're not lost. My dad actually has a family. He was married when my mom got pregnant, but wouldn't leave them. Now I see him once in awhile and he gives us plenty of money. They don't know about me though, I don't think. I'm pretty sure he never told them.” Jose was staring at me with a burning in his eyes. “What?”

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

“What? Why are you asking me that?”

 

“Because you're Rose's best friend, but at the same time you're a little twisted. So I'm not sure how you would react if I just did it.”

 

“No, I mean why would you want to kiss me?”

 

“Because if ever two people were destined to be together, it was us.”

 

“I thought you were destined to be with Rose?”

 

“I love Rose. I want Rose to be my wife, but we don't have anything in common. That doesn't mean I can't make a life with her. But us, we are nearly the same person. I just want to kiss you and know if it really is what I'm feeling inside.”

 

A girl like me doesn't have to weigh the options for long. Yes, Rose was my only friend, but what did that really mean to someone like me? I'd cheated on someone I'd loved after being alone for two months. Not to mention this was Jose Reya. The most attractive guy in school was telling me we are destined. My arms were around his neck, yanking his lips to mine. There was no denying our chemistry. The sparks flying between us could have ignited a fire had they been solid in form. I was damaged, hurt and Jose was, well horny and delusional about our new relationship. So it didn't really take a genius to figure out what was going to happen next.

 

2

 

The first days after finally ending things with Stacy were definitely the worst. I was alone, hurt by the things she'd said, and generally pissed off. Basketball still took up a lot of my time, but on my days or nights off it was really bad. Things might have stayed that way for me if I hadn't gotten a phone call from Mitch the night before I went back to Morris.. It surprised me to hear from him because it was a game night. And game nights were when Mitch partied most. But tonight he wasn't partying. Tonight he was more devastated than even I was.

 

When I found Mitch, he was sitting on his bed staring at the wall. The room was still in order, which I hadn't expected. Mitch wasn't doing nearly as well as his room. Though he wasn't crying now, he clearly had been and for a while.

 

“How long have you been sitting here?”

 

“Kevin left a few hours ago. To see,” he paused, letting a disgusted look cross his face. “Essie.” He spoke her name as coldly as humanly possible. I couldn't help but remember the look on his face the last time he'd said her name to me. Back then her name had a much different meaning. Mitch's pain, while terrible, was at least a good distraction for mine. Quickly I started thinking of things to ask.

 

“So how long?” I wanted the information with having to speak as little as possible.

 

“Since the night before homecoming.” I thought about that for a minute.

 

“The night they came to get you?” My face fell as I thought about how it must have played out. Meanwhile he was nodding. “Then she broke up with you the next night? For him?” I was asking questions without needing the answer. “Then what?” My Stacy worries were completely gone as I became absorbed in the tale.

 

“They broke up a few weeks later. She didn't want to hide it, he did I guess.” Then the million dollar question popped into my head.

 

“Why in the hell did she start seeing you again?” Mitch looked up at me, his bloodshot eyes growing even smaller and weaker than before. My whole body suddenly felt wrong and I tried to shake off the thoughts that he seemed to be beaming into my head. “You have got to be kidding me.” I'd known Essie awhile and not too long ago I would have called her one of the nicest people I knew. This wasn't like the Essie I had known and partied with for three years. This Essie was treacherous and conniving. Finally I sat down too, but at his desk.

 

“When did this even happen? A few months ago Essie was happy with you. Why would she use Kevin to hurt you like that?”

 

“I've been sitting here, thinking about that for a few hours now. I don't think she was trying to hurt me. I really think,” he shook his head in slight disbelief, “she fell in love with him.”

 

“How is that even possible?” Mitch stared over at me. He knew how I felt about his brother. There wasn't a bigger twerp than him. Of course I was just a tad bias.

 

“I know you're hurting about what Stacy did to you. But try to keep an open mind and think back to how you felt about my brother before all of this happened. You've known him for years. Tell me how you used to feel about him.” Begrudgingly I did what he wanted. Kevin had been tagging around Mitch and in effect me, for years now. Mitch had never minded even though I found him at times annoying.

 

“All right, when you're brother's not thinking with his dick, he's a cool guy. Fine, more than that, he's pretty cool.”

 

“Come on Robert. My brother's smart, student council president, lead in the play. .” He wasn't finished, but he stopped when he saw my face flash red. I felt the burn across it, but his pause let me know he'd seen it. “Sorry. But anyway he's funny, good looking, and a lot of other things Essie has witnessed over the years. So I can see why she wanted him. It's just hard to believe she could stop caring about me and use me to get him back.”

 

“No, what's crazy is that your brother fell for it. Where is he now Mitch?” I wasn't asking because I didn't know and Mitch definitely knew he didn't have to tell me. “God Mitch when are you going to see it? He's not the nice guy you think he is. I understand I'm a bit bias here, but he left. He went to her.”

 

“I told him he could. Well I said I wouldn't hate him if he wanted to see her.”

 

“Why would you say that? Clearly you're having trouble.”

 

“Because who am I do that?” For the first time Mitch was showing me his anger. “I can't just tell someone what to do or make myself the reason they don't have what they really want. Especially my brother. I don't care if he's wrong. Kevin wants Essie, maybe even more than I ever did. And it might be just sex, and if that's the case it will be a little easier. But what if it's not? What if they're really meant for each other and I stood in the way of my brother being truly happy with someone? If I'd told Kevin to stay away from her, I'd be the one that had to live with the fact that I'd stood between two people and whatever future they could have had.” After Mitch was finished I stepped across the room and sat next to him on the bed. The closeness between us was awkward for two guys, but I wanted his complete attention.

 

“Kevin doesn't love Essie. She might love him, I don't know. She's stooped pretty low to get him to come back. But trust me. You're brother is barely sixteen. Essie is the first girl he was serious about, plus apparently she's great in bed. All of those things are going to screw with his head. But he doesn't love her. And eventually that will come out.” Mitch nodded a little and put his head down, probably trying to hide any more tears that escaped.

 

“It isn't her Rob. It's him. I admit it was my fault for bragging to him for years. But how could he. . .I mean I could see what happened the night before homecoming. Essie is definitely hard to resist. But how could he keep seeing her? And lying to me?” He let out an exhausted growling sigh. “Even after all that he's my brother and I can't hate him. I can hate her, but I can never hate him. For hours I've been thinking about what happened and I know it has to be this way. In a few months I'll be gone and things will be a lot easier.”

 

There was no point in arguing with him now. Someday Mitch might really see Kevin for who he was, but that probably won't matter any more than it does now. Mitch and I didn't say anything else that night. Instead I stayed with him in silence. Right now I didn't want to be alone and I knew he didn't either. When the sun finally came up, I went home. Mostly because the last thing I wanted was a run-in with Kevin. Mitch may be able to forgive, but I never would.

 

3

 

When I woke up, I was in my room and not alone. Jose was on my right, already awake and staring at my ceiling. He heard me shift and dropped his eyes to me. Then he kissed me softly.

 

“What were you thinking about before I woke up.”

 

“I'm not sure if you want to know.”

 

“Can we not lie to each other? I mean, you and me have pretty much been marked and branded as the black sheep of relationships. Let's just at least start this, whatever it is, without that. Because I think both of us could use an honest perspective on things.

 

“Okay, you're right.” A little smile escaped his lips. “Which I think might happen a lot. Anyway, I was wondering if that's what it would have been like with Rose. Or if it would have been better with Rose because I love her so much. Or if Rose would have been worse because she has no experience and you have. . .a bit.” I smacked him with one of my smaller pillows. “Come on Stacy. Even if Robert was your first, you guys had a lot of sex I'm sure. And then you were with Kevin. . “

 

“Okay, I get it. Does that at least mean that you enjoyed it?” His face became very serious suddenly.

 

“Enjoy is a word that I could use, but I want to use fantastic.” My heart started beating fast and I couldn't help but grin a little. “So part of me was sitting here wondering if it could be better with Rose. But I don't think you have to worry about that. Rose doesn't want to have anything to do with me.” It seemed I alone had the knowledge that could give Jose hope. But the broken and lonely part of me would never tell him in fear that I would lose this, however brief it may be.

 

“So where are you now? I mean with me?” Jose leaned back against my bed, folding his arms behind his head. The entire upper half of his body was exposed. My focus was now on his sculpted physique. Robert never had muscles like this. Jose was a wrestler and an obviously built one at that.

 

“Honesty, right?” I nodded, feeling a knotting in my stomach. “I know that I started things with you last night, and it wasn't just a moment. There is something here. But, I'm not sure I can take Rose's only outside friend away.” Jose didn't sound very sure, but somehow I knew he was. Even if I was willing to lose a friendship over him, which would be right up my alley character wise, he wasn't willing to hurt the woman he still loved any more than he already had. “Stacy, say something please.”

 

“There isn't really anything else to say.” I sat up, suddenly feeling wrong being in bed with him like this. None of my things were close, so I would have to get up and walk to my dresser naked. When I got to my dresser, I could see Jose's eyes following me in the mirror.

 

“Do you want to get breakfast?”

 

“I don't eat breakfast.” I pulled shorts and t-shirt out and threw them on.

 

“You should. Come on, lets eat.”

 

“No Jose. I don't eat breakfast and even if I did, why would I go? We can't be friends Jose, so why would you torment me? It's hard enough knowing that you're in love with Rose, still.”

 

“You're right. I don't want to stop seeing you. And last night was fantastic.”

 

“No Jose. I won't do that again.” Jose had been clear that he wouldn't hurt Rose, so there was only one option for him to get everything he wanted. “Even if I could be Rose's friend while going behind her back with you..” Jose's raised eyebrows made me pause. “Okay, I could do it and it might not even bother me too much. My point is I deserve more than that. I may not deserve a lot for what I did, but I do deserve someone who wants to be with me all the time, anywhere.” Jose got up and dressed now too, causing my eyes to travel this time.

 

“You're right Stacy. I did make a choice and I've been selfish enough already.” With one last, light peck on the cheek, he left. Only to come back a second later. “Is your mom up there?”

 

“No. She works Saturday mornings. You can go out the front door.” Then he left for real. The rest of my morning was spent working out, cleaning, and then taking a shower. Somewhere in the middle of all that, Rose had sent me a text saying she was coming over. By the time I came out of the shower, she was sitting on my bed, waiting for me. Thank god I'd cleaned my room and lit a scented candle. Despite all that I was still nervous. Like she somehow would know.

 

Once I took a good look at her though, it was clear her head was a million miles away from me and this room.

 

“What's going on Rose?” Falling back into friend mode was easier than I thought it would be. Especially only hours after my betrayal. Rose's smile grew and she grabbed my hands.

 

“Stacy, all this time I had this idea about how things were supposed to be. About how I was supposed to be. But now everything's changed and I feel so great.”

 

“Okay, the suspense is killing me Rose.”

 

“Chase and I had sex and I'm finally in love with him. Somehow he's more important to me after a few months than Jose was after years.” My heart pulled in two ways at hearing that. It was nice to know that she was definitely not going back to Jose, but sleeping with Chase was just bad news. “Why do you look like that Stacy? Are you still mad at Chase for last night? Really I'm pretty sure things will be fine.” Rose was so sweet and innocent. Not to mention completely naïve about Chase.

 

“If you're happy, I'm happy. And it doesn't matter if Chase and I get along, as long as you're happy with him.”

 

“I am. Look I'm on my way to work, but I had to tell someone and you're all I really have to tell.” Knife to the heart. Jose had been right. After Rose left I debated some more, but about a different issue. I'd never expected Rose to give in to him, at least not this soon. Chase was so much more of a loose cannon than Rose really knew.

 

If I called Chase, he probably wouldn't answer, which meant I would have to go to his house. When I'd dated Kevin, we'd taken him home a couple times. I'm not even sure if Rose had ever seen where he lived.

 

My mind was made up to go. I grabbed my keys, phone, purse and went out. Sunrise Trailer Park was on the edge of town. It was the largest trailer park in the area, but not really the nicest. How could a trailer park be nice at all? I'm allowed to say that because I had to live in this very same trailer park when I was a small child, before dad helped us get our house. All I do have of that time were crappy memories.

 

Chase's car was parked in front. Thank god it was the only one there. I banged on the door for a few minutes before it opened. Chase was halfway dressed, sweatpants covering the bottom half. He was not happy to see me, for sure.

 

“What?”

 

“Can I come in?” I filled my voice with a mockingly sweet tone. He widened the door and stood back. Last time I was here, I hadn't gone in. The living area had one couch and a chair. Most of the floor was covered with clothes. Chase closed the door and walked to the couch. I sat down too, but as far away as I could from him.

 

“So Rose came by.”

 

“Let me guess, she told you.” He leaned back against the arm of the couch and folded his arms across his chest.

 

“Yes.” I slid back too, matching his pose.

 

“And what did you have to say?”

 

“Nothing, yet.”

 

“Stop pretending to be such a good friend.” Chase sat up and leaned past me to grab something off the table. “Do you want some?”

 

“I'm not really in the mood. I'll just eat and lay around the rest of the day.” It'd been a while since I'd smoked. A lot of that had to do with the binge eating that ensued afterward, but it also ruined any chance of me getting in a good work out for the day.

 

“Are you still worried about your weight?” I didn't answer and he snickered. “You look fine, better than fine. Not that you need or deserve me to tell you that. If you do any more, you might start causing damage.”

 

“Since when do you care about causing damage?”

 

“Is that why you're here?”

 

“I'm here because I don't care what Rose says, she had stars in her eyes this morning. She's totally gone over you and that's just wrong. You party all the time and not to mention the shit you pull while you're partying.”

 

“Come on Stacy. I know exactly how you party too.”

 

“We're not talking about me. I covered for you before when Rose asked me about the partying.”

 

“Why did you even bother?”

 

“Because she needed someone to get her over Jose. How could I know she'd really fall in love with you? We both know you are nowhere near good enough for her. Look at everything Jose is and he's still not even good enough for her.” Chase flexed and flinched a little.

 

“What do you want me to do Stacy? I'm not breaking up with her. Rose knows who I am and she still wants me.” He smiled and I knew he was thinking about last night. “Really wants me.”

 

“She does not know who you are. Rose has never been to one of Malcolm's parties or any other for that matter. Does she know about any of the girls you hang out with?” I barely gave him time to answer. “I didn't think so. She wouldn't be fine. So what do I want from you? I want you to be better for her. I don't want you to break up with her. Be who she thinks you are. Prove assholes like me wrong who say you aren't good enough.” Chase didn't respond for a couple minutes and I took that as a sign for me to leave. Before I made it to the door he finally spoke.

 

“Why are you really doing this?” I couldn't help but turn around and meet his glaring eyes.

 

“I told you why?” The rhythm of my heart beat quickened just a little.

 

“Not really. And I've gotten to know you pretty well. You loved Robert, I really think you did or do. But you were capable of doing really shitty things, just like maybe I am. So I know you aren't entirely thinking of Rose here. You've convinced yourself that that's what this is about. But it's about something else, isn't it?” Jose's face flashed in my head for a just a moment, but it bled through enough for even Chase to see. “What are you up to Stacy? Because I don't think this has anything to do with Kevin anymore.” There was zero chance of me telling Chase about Jose, so I did the only thing I could do to avoid anything else. I left.

 

4

 

I stayed back at school for a solid month. Despite my parents pleas for me to come home for a visit. It was easier to be away at school. There were so many things to keep my mind busy. Tammy and I were still speaking, but it was clear that even though I was now single, there wouldn't be anything else between us.

 

Now that I had free time, I had time to think about break and the break up. What I wanted was someone, anyone to be with so I wouldn't have to think about loving Stacy. As much as I wanted to just flip a switch inside me, I couldn't and I still loved her. Going home was becoming more and more tempting. Thoughts of chance encounters started to find their way into my daydreams. Chance is a funny thing. A few days later, a lot of things seem to happen by chance.

 

On Thursday, after four confirmed cases of meningitis, school closed. After the first case, the school clinic became flooded with students claiming symptoms and parents calling with concerns. It looked like I would have no choice but to go home.

 

Since it'd been weeks since I'd been home, I sent a few texts, letting friends know I'd be home. Mitch and I made plans with Lola and one of her friends, probably a cheerleader. The name was familiar, but I didn't know her face.

 

Creston Hills has a few things to do, but nothing like Morris. A movie and a bite to eat afterwards was the norm. Mitch looked much better than the last time that I'd seen him, which pissed me off instead of making me happy for him. He'd been with Essie much longer than I'd been with Stacy and he may have even loved her more. Plus, the added bonus was that Kevin wasn't just some guy, but his own brother. Here he was, doing what he had to, to get by. Lola's friend, Breasha, was nice, but I still thought about Stacy. The girls went to the bathroom and I pounded my head against the booth.

 

“How can you do it?” If it'd been anyone else, I wouldn't have been able to let this weakness show. Mitch didn't look at me. He'd worn my look for weeks and knew more than anyone how hard it was to watch people look at him.

 

“Because I have to. Listen to this Rob.” Now he looked at me. “I know who Essie is. She's shown me that. But part of me doesn't care. Part of me can't forget all those good times I know we had.” Mitch paused and I could see the stress in his eyes as he fought his emotions. “But that door is closed and there isn't anything I can do about it. So I'm moving on, and you should too.”

 

“How do I move on?”

 

“What more can I give you?” He motioned towards the empty space next to me. His arm was still in the air when the girls came back. I stood to let Breasha by and she smiled up at me. When I sat, Mitch's eyes were on me.

 

“So are you guys all going to Sadies tomorrow.” Lola beamed and turned to Mitch.

 

“We are, but Breasha's not.”

 

“That's crazy Breasha.” I didn't have to work too hard for to sound surprised. Breasha was attractive and a cheerleader. Girls like that always have a date. She blushed and somehow that gave me the confidence to smile a real smile for the first time in a long time.

 

“Well the girl is supposed to ask a guy and I'm not really good at that.” Lola caught on quick, she never was dumb.

 

“Robert should go. We could all go.” The thought of going back to that school, and at a dance no less was less than appealing, but saying no would probably upset Breasha. Breasha was a sweet girl and I didn't want to do that, plus Mitch might be right.

 

“Hey Breasha I'm up for it, if you are.” Breasha laughed a nervous laugh and looked at Lola. Not the response I pictured. Again, Lola heard what we didn't.

 

“And, since I have like a ton of dresses, you can borrow one of mine. There won't be anything good at the stores anyway.” Mitch and I pretended not to catch the pretense of the girl talk. That did the trick and Breasha was fighting to hide her excitement. The rest of the night, the girls made plans and Mitch and I sat back. Neither of us were better or over anything, but at least we were trying.

 

The next day, I spent most of my time with my family. They were mad I had went out the night before and now I was going out again. `Before you know it, the weekend will be over,' my mother kept repeating throughout the house. Around three, I went to Mitch's. Kevin casually mentioned Kevin would be at Chase's getting ready. So in a few words I knew Kevin was still with Essie and even more important, still not really talking to Mitch. Of all the times I wished I'd had a brother or sister, this one made me glad I didn't.

 

We sat around playing video games until Lola sent a text saying they were almost ready. We threw on our clothes and headed out, stopping at the store for the girls' corsages on the way to pick them up. I grabbed the first one I saw. Mitch took a little more time to pick. It reminded me of last May when I special ordered Stacy's to not only be her favorite flower, but to match as well. My thoughts shifted to Homecoming when I hadn't even bought her one.

 

Being around so many high school kids after the college crowd was altering. A year ago I felt at home with them and now they all seemed so young, even the ones I still called friends. Breasha and I danced, but not too much. I saw Kevin and Essie when we first came in, but he didn't see me. They were both staring at Mitch and Lola. Neither of them knew.

 

We stayed longer than I'd ever stayed at a dance. Only the tempting text from Malcolm he sent as he left the dance pulled us away. I knew before we even pulled up that she'd be here. I'd dodged a bullet at the dance, but not here. Here it was, my chance encounter. But was it really chance? Or had I somehow orchestrated this whole night? Breasha, Lola and some of the other girls huddled together on the far side of the house. Mitch and I headed to the kitchen where the guys spent most of the nights doing shots and chugging bears. At least those who weren't off somewhere with the girl they came with or one of the girls that was always just there. Stacy was already in the kitchen, part of the drinking group. Was she one of those girls now?

 

There were differences in her, even in the weeks since I'd seen her last. She'd lost more weight and her hair wasn't as shiny as it had been. She wasn't dressed up like most of the other girls. She had on jeans and a tight sweater. The moment she spotted me I swear I felt both of our hearts stop. It was stupid for both of us to stare, so I went over to her. She set down her glass and leaned against the counter.

 

“What are you doing here?” I laughed a little and pointed to my clothes.

 

“Isn't it obvious, I went to the dance.”

 

“Stag?”

 

“How could I go stag when I don't go here anymore?”

 

“Okay, who'd you go with?”

 

“Breasha Dolland.” Stacy was more than shocked and that showed on her face. I wasn't sure if that was because I went with anyone else or because Breasha was black. Either way, Stacy wouldn't admit it. Stacy pushed herself off the counter and took a couple steps away from me.

 

“See ya.” My hand reached for her wrist and clamped down.

 

“You're just going to leave.” Stacy didn't seem to notice me or the pressure I was putting on her wrist. I followed her gaze across the room. I couldn't be sure, but it looked like she was looking at Jose Reya. His arm was around Mandy Jackson, but his eyes were definitely on us. Stacy turned back to me, ignoring my grip.

 

“You're right, let's go.”

 

“Go? I can't just ditch Breasha.”

 

“Fine. Make something up and meet me at my house.” I loosened my grip and she slipped away. A minute later I was babbling to Breasha about something and offering her a ride home. She wanted to stay, so I headed to the door. Mitch caught up to me just as I made it to my car.

 

“Robert!” I'd hoped to slip out without being noticed. “Are you seriously going to her?”

 

“You already know the answer to that.”

 

“Can't you just let her go?”

 

“Apparently not.”

 

“You don't have to go.”

 

“Yeah, I do.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I still love her Mitch.”

 

“She doesn't love you.”

 

“You don't know that.”

 

“No I don't, but you do. Just listen. If you don't want to trust me then don't. Do this, but don't get so lost in yourself that you don't pay attention to her.” I was confused and anxious to get to her. Following him now was impossible. “Essie, when she came back to me, was different. We had sex, but she wasn't in it, not anymore. But I didn't want to see that. Just pay attention. That's all. Maybe Stacy really wants you, but knowing Stacy she's up to something.” My jaw flexed at his open trashing of her, but after all, he'd been the one watching her all year, not me. I shook off as much of my emotion as I possibly could and repeated every word he said. Mitch was my friend and I couldn't ignore him.

 

“Okay.”

 

5

 

The entire way home I thought about Jose, not Robert. What was I doing now? Was this going to be some casual hook up? Or were we getting back together? Getting back together was going to be a bad idea for a million reasons, but mostly because I had some serious feelings going on for Jose that needed to be worked out. When did I get feelings for him? Could one sexual encounter really be enough for something to take flight between us? No, it had to be our nature that drew us together.

 

I lived minutes from Malcolm's so I was home before I could give it any more thought. My mom was already asleep. She was working the early shift tomorrow. I ran down to my room, straight to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and hair, changing into my pajamas, I sat on the bed and waited. Robert had been coming for so long, he knew exactly how to maneuver his way through my house even on the darkest nights.

 

The first thing I heard was the car pull up to the curb. He was really coming here. Then the door slammed and his steps patted on the concrete. My heart started to thump faster and faster. It wasn't excitement or anticipation, but fear. Fear of what doing this would mean. My mind was racing trying to answer the question of why I wanted him to come to me. It was time for a big reality check. I couldn't have Jose, and Robert was someone that I knew wanted me more than anyone else. Jose would always be stuck on Rose.

 

Finally Robert was coming through my door. He looked wild, so unlike himself. The clean cut of his demeanor was something that I'd always been so attracted to. That's why I was so attracted to Kevin and Jose. But this Robert was something more than attractive to me. I don't think it was the look so much as knowing his desire for me caused the crazy to come out in his eyes.

 

No words, no waiting, just action. It was easy to tell he hadn't been with anyone in awhile. Which made me a little relieved there was no one serious. But that was the last coherent thought I had. Robert no longer handled me like the love of his life, but like a vixen he'd met at a frat party. Words he'd never used with me before came pouring out of his mouth. Not words of love, but of desire and need. He used his hands to push, pull, and roll me around to fit his every desire. Several times I had to give him reminders that we weren't alone in the house.

 

Afterwards neither of us spoke. We stayed together, naked, in each other's arms. Robert's breathing quickly slowed and he was soon asleep. My eyes stayed wide open. Thoughts were streaming through my head. It would be so easy just to keep this going forever. Except that, from the look on Jose's face tonight, eventually he would come over again and then what would I do? I wouldn't turn him away. Then Robert would be broken all over again. Without thinking I pulled his arm tighter around me. My fingers hung on his and it made me think of the ring he'd thrown at me last Christmas. The ring I still had kept deep in one of my drawers. The ring I couldn't bear to give back, but knew I'd never really wear. Suddenly my choice was made and I could fall asleep.

 

My body became alert the instant he moved. With my back to him I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling. Then I felt his fingers move up and down my back. I was even stiffer than before. The thought of doing anything else with him was almost repulsing. Last night had been pretty hot, but now that I was sure I didn't want him I felt completely different. When I still hadn't responded a minute later Robert stopped. He put his head against my back and sighed.

 

“You don't want this.” He wasn't asking me because he didn't have to. Instead it was a statement, a fact. Maybe he had to say it out loud to have closure on us. My silence must have lasted longer than I thought because now he was out of bed, searching for his clothes.

 

“Is your mom going to be up?” I rolled over and looked at the clock.

 

“She's already gone.” My voice was weak, almost anemic. A few more seconds and he was dressed, starring at me from across the room.

 

“It's definitely done for you?” I nodded, still in bed, but at least now I was sitting up. Since I hadn't bothered to put any clothes on I had one arm clamped down on the sheet that was covering me. He turned and started to leave.

 

“Aren't you going to ask why?”

 

“I know why. And maybe someday I'll be glad you felt this way. As much as I want to, I can't see us getting back to where we were a year ago.”

 

“Do you want it back?” The last couple months I'd felt guilty for keeping the ring. Something I knew he'd saved up to buy for a long time.

 

“What would I do with it? Save it and give it to someone else? That wouldn't be right. I guess I could try to sell it, but I don't think I could do that either.” So the ring was mine for good. “Bye Stacy. Take care of yourself.”

 

“I'll try. Bye.”

 

Monday started off as terrible as any other day. When Rose asked me to take Intro to Health Occ. with her, I thought it would be an easy A. Plus I was slightly interested in a career in the health field The absolute worst thing that could happen would be that I was placed in a class with Essie and Kevin. It wasn't Essie's glares that bothered me, but the knowing that Kevin really preferred her to me. There were only two reasons I could think of to explain this. One, he just thought she was more attractive, which did nothing for my self esteem. Or two, that he had issues, which again didn't help because he was once happy to be with me.

 

Well the day went on as usual until Rose and I came to English. I still sat by Rose and it had been hard to keep my secret glances at Jose secret from her. Usually I tried to avoid staring altogether. Plus he was still dating Mandy, which pissed me off. It was one thing to tell me he couldn't see me because it would hurt Rose. But then he just keeps on dating, and having sex with Mandy, which probably pisses Rose off just as much as a relationship with me would.

 

“Did you hear what I said Chica?” I snapped back to her.

 

“Not really. Whenever you talk about Essie I just tune you out. Sorry. I know you want to tell me about the dance, but you went with Essie and Kevin. Obviously I can see why you did, but it still irks me a little. However I did hear the part about Essie and Kevin fighting because Kevin thinks you're hot.”

 

“I didn't say that's why they were fighting and I definitely didn't say that he thought that.”

 

“No, you wouldn't say that. But I, of all people, know how Kevin gets around you.” Rose blushed and started organizing her things. I rolled my eyes and decided not to even finish.

 

“Okay class, as promised, you will be assigned partners for the joint Documented Paper on Slavery. Once you have a partner, you will be given your topic.” There was a general moan from the class before Mr. Deerfield could continue. “Oh class, it hurts me so to hear you upset. Now remember, we will do some of the research in class, but the majority will be done with your partner, on your own time.”

 

As Mr. Deerfield ran down the list, I had a little hope that maybe I would be partnered with Jose. Part of this was because he was so damn smart, but obviously I wanted to be with him for other reasons too. We didn't get to be partners. So as soon as it was okay, I grabbed my books and drudged over to Katie Leslie. She smiled at me and we exchanged a few words on how this was going to suck. Then I heard Jose's voice not far from me. He had called the teacher over to his group. I turned my head back to Katie but she was still looking at the group.

 

“What is it?”

 

“He's cute isn't he?”

 

“Well, yeah, but he has a girlfriend.”

 

“No he doesn't. Wait, who are you talking about?” Then I realized she was talking about the other guy, not Jose. There was a bit of a pause until Mr. Deerfield said my name.

 

“Yes.” I looked over his way, confused.

 

“Do you mind switching groups?” I felt Katie's toe dig into mine. Clearly she'd rather be in a group with that guy than me. I glance at Jose, who looked as cool and calm as ever.

 

“No it's fine.” I tried not to let the excitement I was feeling seep through. A second later my books were together and I was making my way back a few rows. The closer I got the darker Jose started to look.

 

“What?” It was stupid letting him get me all nervous. We'd had sex together. I should be able to talk to him.

 

“He left a few marks.” Jose gestured to the side of my neck, where two red splotches were. I had noticed them, but they were so slight today that I thought no one else would. “You really spent the night with him.” I didn't answer. Instead I turned back to Mr. Deerfield and pretended to pay attention to his directions. Then it occurred to me that I was perfectly free to do whatever I wanted.

 

“And if I did? You're still dating Mandy.” As much as I'd rehearsed it in my head, I still had the jealous girl tone. But god damn it I was jealous. Just for kicks I took a peak over at Mandy. She was staring daggers at us. If it wasn't for Rose, I'd give her something to be jealous about.

 

“Let's just talk about the assignment. Can you get together today?”

 

“Today? That's really soon.”

 

“You do know what my class rank is, don't you?” I held up one finger and rolled my eyes. Inside I was cheering that I would definitely get an A on this.

 

“Fine. Today.”

 

“Your place?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Neither Rose nor I spoke about my partner after class, which was good. I hoped because she didn't care anymore, but that was probably hoping for too much.

 

Jose and I met in the parking lot and he followed me home. Neither of us spoke as I led us to my room. It couldn't be anything other than awkward considering what went on in these four walls the last time we were together. When I couldn't go any further I turned around to finally face him. Something was missing.

 

“Where's your bag?”

 

“We need to talk first.” He walked over to my desk and sat. I slumped down to my bed. “Are you back with Robert Miller?”

 

“No.” It felt almost compulsory to be honest with him, especially when we were alone. Maybe it was the comfort of knowing I was finally around someone who couldn't or wouldn't judge me. He nodded.

 

“I have a problem.”

 

“What's that?”

 

“Well, when I saw you with Robert on Saturday, I nearly decked him. But that couldn't happen. Obviously I realize you're free to date and I do remember that that was my idea. And I know I'm still dating Mandy.” That about wrapped up anything I was going to point out. “Not to mention my feelings for Rose.” Except for that.

 

“So. . .?”

 

“Why am I here?” I nodded.

 

“Because you're in my head more than Rose is. I'm not saying I don't still love Rose, but I know I'm getting over her. Ever since I spent the night here I've been replaying it over and over. I watch you in class not her, and take different routes in the hallways to pass you. Even still, I knew dating you or seeing you would be a bad idea. But then I saw you with Robert and realized that I wanted more than just the memory of one night. I want the real thing, and most of all I don't want anyone else to have you.” It was a good thing I was sitting because my legs were numb. Jose Reya, the hottest guy in school by my standards, wanted me. He fantasized about me.

 

Instead of saying anything, I just gave him a come and get it look. And he did. Jose was every bit the dominant male. Kevin and Robert had never been as controlling as Jose was. I loved it. Plus he was so strong. He made it seem as if I weighed nothing as he lifted and shifted me around the bed. When we were finished I wrapped my arms around him tight, somehow thinking this would prevent him from leaving.

 

“Are we still being honest?”

 

“I hope so.” I took a deep breath and started.

 

“I want you to break up with Mandy instantly. I'm terrified you're going to have sex with her or something when you break up with her.” I kept my face buried in him, knowing how crazy I sounded.

 

“You don't trust me?”

 

“Guess not.”

 

“At least we know we don't trust each other.”

 

“You don't trust me?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, fine. How are we going to make this work Jose? You and I are like the biggest two timers in the school.”

 

“Maybe that's why it will. Now, my turn to be honest.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“I don't want to tell Rose. I'm sorry, but I just don't want to.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I guess I'm afraid I'll lose you or I'll have to give you up.” My heart swelled, then deflated. The only way he'd give me up would be to spare her the pain. Basically he was saying my pain at losing him meant less to him then her pain at his feelings for me. “What are you thinking?”

 

“I'm thinking I wish you loved me like Robert.” I kept my eyes away, afraid at how he would react. But it was the truth and I'd keep giving it to him as long as I could. Instead of anger, he surprised me.

 

“Maybe someday I will.” A second later he was reaching for the phone. He didn't even bother to leave the room as he ended his relationship with Mandy. When he was finished, neither of us spoke. He'd given me that, now I had to give him what he wanted. We were done talking for now. With our silence, we were agreeing to keep dating and to do it in secret. As honest as we were being with each other, it seemed like we weren't being very honest with ourselves.

 

 

6

 

Malcolm's, my second home practically. The funny thing is, we're not even really friends. I'm a sophomore and he's a senior. But everyone knows me there. I can't even remember how I first started coming. Wait….it was hard thinking when I'm this relaxed. My attention turned over to the group in the corner. They were chanting something. Someone was sitting next to me and talking.

 

“Come on Chase, you're up.” Taylor, one of the regular girls at Malcolm's, was pulling me back into the kitchen. I'd left to chill. But I couldn't resist their chants. A moment later another shot was down. And that was my no return. It wasn't my first mad dash to greener grasses. After a few minutes I was pretty sure I wasn't driving anywhere. My first call was to Kevin, but I really didn't expect him to answer. Normally I didn't get this wasted, but something Rose had said set me off. What was it? Oh, she was talking about taking the ACT's and colleges. Another reason Rose was too good for me. I heaved again. Kevin hadn't returned my call or text. Thinking I could make it my car, I waddled along. About half way there I stopped and sat on the ground. I didn't want to do it, but she was the most practical person and she knew where I lived. I dialed.

 

“What?” Always that sweet bitchy tone.

 

“Haven't been round in while.”

 

“Chase, where are you?”

 

“Where I'm always.”

 

“Do you need a ride?”

 

“Bingo.” She sighed and I think whispered to someone. Who was Stacy seeing? It'd been on my mind a few times, but I always forgot about it soon after I noticed something strange. I hung up the phone and just laid on the ground.

 

“Get your ass up. I know you can walk.” That was quick. She looked good from this angle. Somehow I sat up and she helped me into the car. “This is so bullshit Chase. What are you doing?” That was all I heard before I blacked out.

 

When I woke up, I was in my bed and Stacy was sitting on the floor, texting. Slowly I crept up to look at the name. Then the room was spinning and I fell back down. She heard me and spun around.

 

“Good, drink.” She handed me a glass of water and a couple advil. “Where are your parents?”

 

“Probably doing what I'm doing. Well what I was doing.” She let that drop and stoop up, putting her phone away too.

 

“Are you okay?” There was almost concern in her voice. Enough that made her sit down on the bed, close to me.

 

“You look good Stacy.”

 

“Agh. Kevin come on! I don't care how drunk you are. I thought you loved Rose.” Immediately I felt terrible. She was right. I laid back, grabbing my throbbing head.

 

“I do, I do. I just thought things would be different after we had sex. Maybe I'm just a jerk.”

 

“Maybe?” I couldn't help but smile. Stacy was usually such a bitch that hearing her make a joke was funnier than it should have been. “Look, Rose doesn't do details with me, but I know she loves you. More than she ever loved Jose. That doesn't mean you have to keep dating her, but that does mean you can't keep doing this shit. Make a choice Chase and commit. Why are you laughing? Are you still drunk?”

 

“Yes, no, maybe. It's just that I've spent months thinking you were a bitch, but now I'm kinda seeing what they all see in you.”

 

“They all?” She shook her head. “You're just drunk. I'm going to go, but try to remember this.” On her way to the door, I saw her hand reach for her phone and I remembered.

 

“Who are you seeing and why is it a secret?” She froze, still facing away from me.

 

“Leave it alone Chase.” A moment later the trailer door creaked open and closed. Then my eyes closed and I was dead for the night and most of the next day.

 

When I did wake up, I had numerous alerts on my phone. Rose called and texted me a few times. For a brief second I wondered why I bought her that phone. Then I felt bad. Before I did anything else, I called her. Her family was all at the restaurant. She was going in later. Which meant she wanted me to come over and have sex. Rose never really said or did anything that actually spelled it out for me. At first that was fine by me, but now it was getting a little old. I guess going to Malcolm's and seeing how those girls acted made me want that from Rose. Rose was always so shy and timid, even now, months after we started having sex.

 

For all my bitching, it never took me long with Rose. I found her just as attractive as the day I sat next to her in keyboarding. And knowing that she was all mine was even more of a turn on. I admit that it did get to my head at times, especially when I was drinking, but she didn't seem to mind. By now Rose was on birth control, so we weren't dependent on any schedules, which was nice.

 

“Chase, if I'm your first, how did you learn all that?” Knowing Rose enjoyed sex with me was an unbelievable ego boost.

 

“The internet.” I didn't even think to lie about that.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I guess I'm doing it right.” She laughed and I put my arms around her.

 

“I have to go to work soon and I have a lot of homework.” She was off me and getting dressed. That was Rose, off to the next thing as soon as we were finished. In the months we'd been dating, she hadn't shown me much emotion. At first there was some with Jose and then of course the night we first had sex. But since then, it's just been like we're already married.

 

“I was thinking. . .Maybe next time we could switch things ups.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well you could do the work.” From the look on her face, that was the wrong thing to say.

 

“What if I don't do it right?”

 

“Impossible.”

 

“Yeah, we'll try.” It hit me that I needed her to be more in to this. For a while I'd been questioning if she thought I was more attractive than Jose. I knew she liked sex, but that didn't mean anything. Maybe she wanted to have sex with other people. What if she wanted to have sex with Jose? I closed my eyes and forced myself to stop. I could remember when she dated Jose and hung on his every word and every move. She was never like that with me. “Are you okay?” I sat up and grabbed her, kissing her hard. She let me, but then backed away a little. “Got that out of your system?”

 

“Yeah.” She smiled and went to her bathroom. I wanted to go to her and have her again in the shower. That would be so hot, but I knew better. Rose wouldn't like that. Rose wasn't very spontaneous. If it wasn't in her schedule, she wasn't ready for it. I sat back, but couldn't get the thoughts of her in the shower out of my head. Since I was already undressed, I had a quickie with myself. I imagined Rose as outgoing, luring me into the shower with her and then taking control. It was so exciting that I was finished pretty fast. I managed to get dressed before she was out of the room.

 

That night I didn't feel much like drinking. I wasn't quite recovered from Friday night. When I came through the door, the kitchen crown greeted me. Taylor ran over and pulled my arm, leading me to the kitchen table. She was wearing a tight yellow dress. I'd seen her in it before, but tonight she looked really hot. Suddenly I was imagining Rose in that same dress. That would be so awesome. For the rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking about Rose and what it would be like if she was more like Taylor. Taylor didn't help the situation by hanging all over me. This wasn't completely out of the norm, but I'd worked myself up thinking about Rose.

 

It was easy to let myself be close to her. On a normal night, I could have kept my hands off her. But tonight of all nights, I chose to be a little freer with myself. Taylor was only too welcoming, and soon she was helping me with my shots. I was four deep when the room got quite and everyone was looking behind me. Eventually, I had to look too. Rose was there, staring at me with all the emotion I'd ever want written on her face.

 

Quickly I pulled her to the side. Over and over I tried to explain to her, but even I knew it sounded made up. All I could do was tell her I loved her. She needed out of this situation. I took her outside, away from the house.

 

“Rose please say something.” Tears were finally coming. “I don't care about her and I just got carried away.”

 

“So this is what you do at these parties.”

 

“Rose, didn't you hear me? I don't, tonight I was just excited about you.”

 

“Just stop Chase. I can't believe you. All you care about is partying and it's just taken me this long to see it.” My heart dropped and I knew that I loved her. I knew before, but now I really knew my life would have a loss without her in it.

 

“Don't say that Rose.” She wasn't listening to me anymore. Something had caught her attention and now she was sprinting to the group. By the time I caught up she was shouting at Anna and then she turned to me.

 

“And if you think I love you like I love him then you just better think again.” She must have meant Jose. Finally the words I'd been waiting to hear came out. My worst fear being thrown in my face. But I still couldn't let her go. Kevin was on me a second later. I knew there was no hope of saving this tonight. So I headed off to wait for Kevin to return. When he did, every nerve in my body was pricking me.

 

“What did she say?”

 

“What do you think she said? What were you thinking that's the question.”

 

“I don't know.” I moved around, grabbing my hair. This is must be what it felt like to lose her. Our routines, as boring as they'd seemed, were actually filling the huge hole in my life. I could feel that hole growing with each second that passed.

 

“What do you want me say? I'm not going to say it will be okay and that she loves you because you don't deserve it.” Kevin was done and I had only one person to turn to. Only one person who might be able to help me in this.

 

7

 

I took my time leaving the trailer, not wanting to be alone in the car with Jose. Slowly I walked around his car and into the passenger side, knowing his eyes were following my every move.

 

“That wasn't so bad, was it” As soon as I said it I knew it was stupid, but I hated when it was quite and he was just thinking or doing whatever. “What?”

 

“I don't like you being around him.”

 

“And I understand why, but he was wasted and I'm going to help him if he asks me.”

 

“But why are you helping him.” I thought for a moment. Over the last month, Jose and I had tried to stay as honest with each other as possible. Especially when it came to our relationship.

 

“He loves Rose Jose. And she loves him. She did tell me that. It's something that I avoid talking to you about because I don't want to see you get that hurt look.”

 

“Is that why you're not looking at me now?”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“That doesn't explain why you're helping him.”

 

“I just want him to pull through for her, because if she realizes who he really is. . .that might just devastate her enough to go back to you.” All right, fears on the table. Even though I told myself to hold back with Jose, I'd managed to completely fall for him in the short month of our secret dating. My only hope was that he was feeling the same way about me. It seemed like enough time had passed that I could safely look at him. “What are you thinking?”

 

“If I would take her back.” At least it wasn't a definite yes. Enough had been said I guess, because he started the car and we left. Jose dropped me off and went home, I hope.

 

Jose and I spent a lot of time at my house, naturally, but getting him there was a little tough .We never knew when Rose might be in the neighborhood, so he couldn't have his car parked anywhere near my house. The easiest thing to do was meet at the school, but that was risky too. Eventually we settled on the CCC. It was very plausible that he would be there on any given day or night. He would leave his car and I would drive us back to my place. The worst part was him having to hide while I drove us across town.

 

And finally we were pulling into my street. If we had the bad luck of Rose driving by when we were getting out of the car then we were just screwed. It was Saturday and I had the day off. We planned on just hanging out all day. After the usual intimacy we were wrapped up in each other. This was the moment that we would launch into discussions about all the things we hadn't yet learned about each other, if we had time. Today we had plenty of time.

 

“I've been wondering about something for a long time.”

 

“Ask me.” Jose used his hand to brush my hair away from my face. “I really like the color of your hair.” I rolled my eyes at him. “What?”

 

“Guys and blondes. I don't get it.”

 

“I don't think it's because I have a thing for blondes.”

 

“Anyway…Why did you ask me about siblings that night at Malcolm's.” It seemed like a normal way to switch conversations, but all it did was upset Jose. I could feel him go cold almost as soon as I'd asked the question.

 

“I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that with you.” I wanted to pry and be the way girls always are. Push and push for more information or until a fight started. But I knew better with Jose. He wouldn't take that shit and I wasn't risking our fragile relationship for curiosity. At least it would be significant for us when he did tell me. Before either one of us could change the subject, my phone beeped a text.

 

“It's Chase. He wants me to meet him at his house. Before Jose could argue his phone beeped.

 

“Anna wants me to meet her at home.” If my going to Chase bothered him, it didn't compare with the thought of his sister needing him. We both got dressed and were out the door in minutes. Then I dropped him off at his car. He barely remembered to kiss me goodbye.

 

“I'll call you later.” I nodded and he was out. My mind wasn't made up about what to do about Chase, so I called him.

 

“Are you coming?” He sounded different. It wasn't drunk Chase or party Chase. It wasn't even Rose Chase.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“I messed up and we might have broken up, I don't know.”

 

“Why are you calling me? Why aren't you with her fixing it?” It was coming together. Anna wanted Jose home, Chase was upset. What had happened tonight? “Does Anna know?”
Suddenly I was worried about what Jose was about to learn and what he would do.

 

“Anna was there. She saw everything, heard everything.” There was something in the way he said that.

 

“What did she hear?”

 

“Are you coming over?”

 

“Yes, I'm on my way, but tell me what she heard.”

 

“She knows we've had sex. She wants to tell Jose.” I hit the accelerator even more. If she told Jose, he wouldn't go to Rose, he would go to Chase's and because of me he knows where he lives.

 

“I'll be there in two minutes.” I pushed the end button and focused on the road. When I got there, only Chase's car was next to the trailer. The metal stairs clanked as I sprinted up them. Chase was in the living room, sitting on the couch.

 

“Is that really what you should be doing?” He'd already managed to drink a few beers in the short time he'd been home. “Tell me everything.” To my credit, I didn't interrupt once during his tale. But as soon as he was done, I flipped. “Do you realize what Jose's going to do? He'll be here any minute.” Without thinking I took out my phone and sent him a text, asking him if everything was okay.

 

“Are you texting Rose?” Chase was hopeful, but I shook him off. If I started talking to him it would turn into screaming and I may not be able to stop. “Who are you texting?” I barely registered what he said.

 

“He's not answering. He always answers fast. She must be telling him or told him.” I was scared and mumbling. Not because he would be coming to hurt Chase, but because if he still cared about her virginity that much, I'd have to leave him. There wasn't a choice for me.

 

“Are you serious Stacy?” His tone made me forget about Jose for a brief second.

 

“What?”

 

“You're with Jose? How does that even happen?” I gave him a blank look. Not sure what to say or how to deny it. “I may be drunk off my ass, but I know what's going on right in front of me. God Stacy how could you do that to Rose? You could date anyone. Why him? What is so great about him?” I'd say his reaction was influenced thirty percent by his concern for Rose if she were to find out, and about seventy percent from his insecurities Rose's feelings for Jose caused. My mind raced to find a way to fix this.

 

“She loves you more than him, more than she ever loved him. I don't care what she told you tonight, she loves you and she wants you. That's why you need to go now, leave. Go find her.”

 

“You're right.” He stood up and went to the door.

 

“But you can't drive.”

 

“Then give me a ride.” I wanted to give him a ride, but I had to know if Jose was coming here.

 

“There has to be someone here that can take you.”

 

“Why can't you?” As much as I didn't want him to know, I knew there was no way to get what I wanted without just telling him the truth.

 

“Because I need to stay here and see if Jose shows up to kick your ass.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I need to know if he's still in love with her. At least in love with her enough to do this.”

 

“Because you love him.” Chase was disappointed with yet another example of Jose's affect on women. “I'll find someone.” As soon as he was gone I set out to move my car. Once that was out of the way, I waited. Chase's car was still here, so he would think Chase was too. When he came in, he'd see me and I'd know with one look what he was thinking. At least I hoped I would.

 

It didn't take long before I heard a car coming near. The car slowed and the headlights came into the window as it turned in. There was a slam that I knew was the car door and then heavy steps. Jose didn't knock, he just came in, and saw me, just liked I'd planned it. He hesitated, but just for a moment.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“Gone. Gone to be with Rose, because he knows she'll forgive him. Because she loves him and not you.” I got up to leave. It was there, all there. Jose gave me a moment, the briefest of hesitation. Which meant he cared about me, but nowhere near enough to end his rage or love for Rose.

 

By the time I was getting into my car, he was working it all out in his head. I knew he was coming for me, but it was too late.

 

“Stacy I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be. It was stupid for me to ever try to compete with her. She's sweet, kind, and wholesome. I'm the other girl, but not the one. I was the one for someone, but I drove him away. Now I don't know what I'll be, but I won't be a consolation prize for you. When you can honestly say you want me more than you want her, I might take you back. But then again, I might have moved on. I hope so, because this sucks, and the worst thing is I knew it would. This whole time I knew eventually you'd have to choose and that you would choose her. Bye Jose.” I slid into my car with a part of me hoping to hear him beg me to stay with him. But I knew better. Jose Reya's would never beg, at least not for me.

 

 

All right folks! I'm really trying to get this all out. I have finished this story in my head and it is heading to an awesome Prom night! Thank you for the reviews, you have no idea how much they help. Also, I had to go back to chapter nine and edit a little bit about Mandy because it conflicted a little, but I haven't posted it. Thanks again to my readers!