Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Theatre Presentatori ❯ Carate Khaos ( Chapter 2 )

 

Carate Khaos

(scene opens on 2 competitors in karate gi's waiting to be called

PAUL

Pete you have a problem. You need to get out more, live life you know. You can't just sit on your arse and do nothing but get fat.

 

 

 

PETE

Paulie, buddy, I under stand my `slight decrease' in “Physical Health” but…

 

 

 

PAUL

`Slight', you looked so fat I couldn't tell the gut from the chest.

 

 

 

 

PETE

Maybe…? Still how's getting my ass kicked at the Karate Shoot Fighting Heavyweight World Championship going to help. Care to fill me in on that little tid-bit, why don'cha!?

 

 

 

 

PAUL

I thought you'd never ask! See I got this brilliant idea! See, when you work out you burn calories, and the more you work it the more cals you burn. So if you're pushed into a situation where you have to kill yourself before you are killed, while at the same time, getting pummeled to death, think of all the fat you're getting rid of.

 

 

 

(Paul exits without Pete knowing.)

PETE

You know you are crazy right! What in the right mind would convince you that an ass kicking would work! I don't see how pain causes weight loss, because it doesn't, just months in the hospital. True I have lost a few pounds from this and mostly lipo-suction, but this is still not something you should do just to get fit. And another thing…

 

 

 

(Pete realizes he has been talking to himself Paul re-enters beaten and bruised smiling happily, Pete stares aghast)

PAUL

What are you crying about!?

 

 

 

 

PETE

Where were you…!? When did you…!? How did you…!? Did you hear a word I said?

 

 

 

PAUL

Nope! What did you say? Never mind, your fight is now!

 

 

 

 

 

PETE

Is it to late to forfeit…? NOOoooo!

 

 

 

 

Announcer

In this corner… the current shoot fighting champion… Bart Vale!

 

 

 

 

PAUL

He doesn't look to tough, you can handle him Pete, he looks skinnier than you!

 

 

 

Announcer

In this corner… he… started without the signal… he is flailing in fear… and…! It's a first round knock out to Bart Vale, who is still champion! Someone call an ambulance for the newcomer.

 

 

 

PAUL

That was great, you got him scared!