Ouran High School Host Club Fan Fiction ❯ Rubbing The Lamp ❯ Ch 12 What's Really Going On ( Chapter 19 )

Disclaimer: Ouran Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori. I make no profit off this story. If Bisco Hatori-san wishes, I will remove this from the web upon her personal request.

 

This chapter was written as a response to the week 53 Makin' Lemonaide challenge theme: “Red Rage - get someone mad about something.” And week 68 “Tongue Lashings--whatever that means to you.”

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12

 

Throbbing. Pounding. Crushing.

 

Reviewing her vocabulary, she could not find a word to describe the aching mess that was her head.

 

Little sleep and waking to re-review arguments with no answers all night can do that.

 

“Men can be dumb about the women they love,” he'd said. But he'd said it right after she'd said that she trusted him, that he'd never betray her or take advantage. And he also told her to not be so trusting.

 

And all night, her thoughts had kept running in circles. It was quite irritating to someone as linear thinking as she.

 

Was he saying that he loved her? Why would that make him dumb? And who could he have meant when he was talking about her trusting too much? Images of each of the club members flashed at her with each memory of the kiss: Tamaki leaning in and then “blowing a wasp away”, Huni calling her name and the feel of his firm muscles, twins pressed up on either side of her with the heat of their breath making her insane as they began to kiss her (and did that really happen or not?), Kyoya dipping her and looking deeply into her eyes.

 

What did she want? Who was taking advantage of whom? She'd taken advantage by not paying off her debt. Was that it? And each of them had ended up gifting her with something along the way. Should she have refused them? Or, did he know something that she didn't? It had sounded like a warning. Was that how it was meant?

 

And then there were her dreams. The few times she did fall asleep, she dreamed of the boys. Once, she dreamed of each of them lining up to kiss her. And then, after a kiss for each, she turned to face them where they waited for her to say something. But she had no idea what it was. She was letting them all down and had no idea how to fix it.

 

In another dream, she was in the middle of a pond that seemed to have no bottom and for some reason she couldn't remember how to float. Treading water was helping, but she was starting to become exhausted from the effort. And standing around the pond were the rest of her clubmates. She knew all she had to do was call to one of them and they'd rescue her. But who should she choose? For some reason, she knew that by choosing, the rest of them would be disappointed in her. And that seemed as bad an option as calling out the name that was on the tip of her tongue. So she had swallowed it and said nothing. The last thought before the water closed over her head and she woke bolt upright was `I must be crazy.'

 

And now, it was morning and she'd barely slept a wink. Her head was pounding. And the wishes had been putting her behind her normal homework schedule. After her final class, she decided the best plan would be to go immediately to the third floor music room, go into one of the smaller practice rooms, and study until the rest of the boys showed up. When she got there, she settled in and began to fight through the sinus pressure to actually accomplish some studying.

 

It wasn't going too well.

 

It was a struggle to force herself into reading the materials in front of her. She attempted to drown out all extraneous thought and action. Which was why she was startled when the sound of her name from Takashi's lips broke her out of her study and captured her full attention.

 

X

 

“I'm not doing it anymore,” Takashi stated flatly.

 

His diminutive cousin nodded at him. “I know how you feel. But I think we should probably get everyone else to agree, too.”

 

“Haruhi deserves better.” The quiet man gestured around the room and Mitsukuni knew that he was saying she deserved better than all of them, better than having to be in the club, better than the stupid bet.

 

He smiled softly and sadly. “We were really stupid to go along with it, weren't we, Takashi?” When Mori grunted agreement, he expanded the statement. “Stupid and desperate. You know, I've thought a lot about it - I never thought I had a chance to win her heart, not really. I'm ashamed of myself. I behaved so selfishly. At least you tried to give her something back. I only took.”

 

The tall man patted him on the head.

 

“Takashi?” he asked, querulously.

 

“Hn?”

 

“I still wish she loved me. But I hope she chooses you.” He smiled at his friend encouragingly. “Just… don't tell me how great it feels when you finally kiss her, okay?” He winked as he said it. However, when his friend blushed and looked away he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach. “You kissed her already?” He kept his voice steady, almost joking, but his eyes betrayed his envy.

 

His quiet friend and protector looked upset at the inquiry. His brow crinkled and his mouth tightened. “*She* kissed *me*.”

 

Okay, this didn't make sense. He loved her and she had kissed him. Haruhi had taken the initiative. He KNEW that Haruhi liked Takashi and Kyoya the best. So why did his friend look so upset? Didn't he see that this proved it? “Takashi…?” he questioned.

 

“I don't think she was really kissing *me*. I think maybe I was just there. But I let it happen, kissed her back. Wanted… It's gone too far. I'm not doing it anymore.” If only there was something to beat up right now, it would help him relieve his frustration. Softly, he said, “I wish she had really kissed *me*.”

 

Huni frowned and thought about the bet very deeply, and for the first time it was about how everything was affecting Haruhi, not how it affected him. She'd never shown any signs of interest in sexual matters before, preferring to focus on people instead. And so they'd all decided to show her about sexuality, gather her interest. But was that what was best for her?

 

Over the past two weeks, he'd seen signs of her changing. She was more distracted, more emotional. And now that he thought about it, she looked like she wasn't sleeping as well as she used to - not that she looked ill, but she looked disquieted. And when any of them stepped nearer to her, her eyes would widen and he could see her breathing pattern change. He'd taken it as a good sign - one that she was interested. But, now that he was thinking about HER welfare, not his own, he was sickened by it. If they all truly loved her, why were they trying to change her? Shouldn't she come to acknowledge her desires at her own pace?

 

Mori had been kissed, but he could understand why he didn't believe that Haruhi knew what she was doing. If she had kissed him instead, it would have been the situation, her reaction to the new stimuli, not a love of Huni. If it had happened to him, he wouldn't be strong enough to stop her - and then, he wouldn't have the courage to face her again.

 

At that moment, the twins slunk into the room.

 

“We're calling it off,” Huni declared.

 

One face looked relieved, the other was a mix of relief and frustration. “Why?” the frustrated face asked. They'd kissed her. She'd kissed back. Of course, she'd been drunk at the time and they were fairly certain that she didn't remember it actually happening. But they'd wanted to kiss her for so long and when they did, she'd kissed them back - both of them. She'd let both of them hold her at the same time. She was willing to share. Of course, it would be better if she chose it for herself with no alcohol, but when someone offers you this opportunity - a once in a lifetime chance - how do you walk away? How do you walk away from someone who will love both you and your other half? How, when something you've always wanted but feared would never be comes to you and gives you hope, how do you turn from that?

 

“Kaoru. We agreed…” the relieved face began, but was cut off by his younger sibling.

 

“No, Hikaru. I want to know why first!”

 

“We all love her,” Mori said softly. “We can't do this.”

 

“She has to choose whether she wants *any* of us on her own,” Huni elaborated.

 

“What do you think she'd think of us if she knew about what we've been doing?” Hikaru asked, in a rare moment of insight for him. “She'd hate us.”

 

“We have to stop,” Mori continued.

 

With a sigh, Kaoru nodded. “We have to make it up to her, too.”

 

X

 

She heard Mori state that she deserved better and her mind was instantly off her studies. Could that be why he left? Did he somehow doubt his worth? That would be insane!

 

And then Huni declared that they were stupid to go along with it and she paused. Go along with what? Desperate about what? Normally, she wouldn't stoop to eavesdropping. But since this was about her and about how she shouldn't be trusting, she needed to know why she shouldn't trust. She knew she'd eventually have to come out of the back room - and then they'd know that she heard everything. But she'd deal with that later.

 

What on earth were they talking about?

 

They... wanted her to choose one of them? …love one of them?

 

Her hands unconsciously flew up to cover her mouth as she heard Mori talk about them kissing. Her heart broke a bit when she heard him say that he didn't believe she was kissing him - not really - that he was just available. It broke because, to some extent, she knew he was right. She had taken advantage of him.

 

Maybe that's why he was talking about not trusting.

 

And then, she heard the twins enter the room. She heard Mori declare that they all loved her and if she hadn't already been sitting on the floor, her legs would have gone out.

 

There was bitterness in their tones, and a bit of self-deprecation. It was not a tone she was familiar hearing from her self-centered, rich bastard, boys.

 

What *had* they been doing that would make them think she would hate them so?

 

As she edged closer to the door to listen more intently, additional voices denoted the arrival of the final two club members.

 

X

 

The sound of the door opening caused the four young men to immediately cease their discussion. They saw Kyoya briskly walking in, Tamaki following behind him with a pleading expression on his face - the same one he always wore when he had a scheme in mind that Kyoya had rejected outright. “Good. You're all here early,” Kyoya declared as he entered the room. “If everyone will briefly summarize the results of their second wishes, we can evaluate strategies for the third before Haruhi arrives.”

 

Tamaki grabbed his best friend's arm and whispered, “Kyoya! You said we could talk about this first!”

 

Kyoya shrugged him off with a gesture that was much colder than normal. “I often tell you what you want to hear when you refuse to hear reason.”

 

A loud smack of a palm hitting a table made everyone in the room jump - including Tamaki, whose hand was stinging a bit from the gesture. “YOU'RE the one who is not listening to reason!”

 

Deliberately turning his back a bit toward the prince, Kyoya adjusted his glasses and prepared to address the rest of the club. But before he could complete the action, he was interrupted by the oldest club member.

 

“What reason is that, Tamaki?”

 

“It doesn't matter!” Kyoya interjected, but Tamaki gave a grateful smile to his senpai and responded.

 

“I think we should just credit Haruhi the rest of her debt and call off the rest of the wishes.”

 

With a cold gleam in his eye, Kyoya regarded his club members at the revelation of this news. The glint off his glasses froze further when he heard Huni state, “We agree,” and saw everyone nod in agreement.

 

Something had to be done. If he didn't get them back on track, then he'd never get the chance…

 

“May I remind you, gentlemen,” his tone was dripping sarcasm, “that we entered into an agreement? Everyone in this room agreed to participate. We all agreed that we would leave the choice up to Haruhi - she could grant the wishes or not. It's her choice. It makes absolutely no sense to stop now.” Not when we're so CLOSE!

 

“We were drunk,” Kaoru stated.

 

“And desperate,” Hikaru added.

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

“It was a dishonorable agreement,” Mori stated.

 

“Dishonorable?” Kyoya queried, disbelievingly.

 

“We knew going into this how WE felt about Haruhi. But doesn't she have the right to find out how she feels about us without manipulating her?” Huni asked quietly.

 

Tamaki touched Kyoya's shoulder softly. “Do you really think it will feel the same if you don't know that she loves you back? I know you're scared, Kyoya, but it won't be worth anything if it's not her choice.”

 

“Scared? Scared?!” Kyoya turned on them all, his fists clenched angrily at his sides. “You think I'm scared? You don't know anything about it!” he hissed. “What do I care? I'm trying to help all of YOU!”

 

Each reacted individually to that comment, with rolled eyes, face tightened in anger, sad disbelief, confusion, and pity.

 

“The lot of you, drunk off your asses, bitching about who Haruhi likes better. Each staking a verbal claim, but with no guts to even TRY until *I* gave you a way to do it! And now, each of you feels superior because you're going to back out - you're not even going to follow through with the plan!

 

“I can tell you, if you're not willing to commit to something, you won't ever get it.

 

“We each had three wishes with her - we all agreed! She agreed! Three wishes. It was so simple. All we had to do was soften her up to the idea, and we'd each get a chance to be alone with her. To hold her.” His voice turned slightly dreamy, “To finally live out the dream of seeing her under us with her face…” He whirled on them all. “If you aren't man enough to ask for what you want in your third wish, then ask for something frivolous. I don't care. But I! Will. NOT! Give up this chance just because you don't have the guts to follow through.”

 

Five faces stared at him in slack-jawed amazement. They recognized the desperation that was written on his face as a magnifying glass of their own. But where they had accepted the possibility of defeat - of loss - here there was terror and feral defiance. It was as if he believed there was no possibility for him to ever win.

 

This was the look that greeted her as she quietly opened the door to the practice room and came out among them.

 

She'd intended to come out quietly. She hadn't quite decided how to feel or react - she just knew she had to get out of there so that she wouldn't have to hear any more.

 

She'd heard enough: Six beautiful men who she had considered her friends had been trying to manipulate her into bed. What did that mean? It was too much. Much too much. Was she disappointed? Flattered? She was… betrayed, right? Shouldn't she be mad? Or sad? But her brain was too foggy to process it all, to feel anything other than numb.

 

It seemed five of her closest friends were in love with her. And the sixth one, the mastermind behind it all, was so in love with his scheming that he had actually started yelling at the others. She didn't want to hear any more. She couldn't hear any more. She *wouldn't* hear any more. It was time to leave, go someplace where she could be alone and decide what to do. What to think. What to feel.

 

Quietly, she opened the door to see five faces looking at a sixth with a mix of pity, concern and guilt. She glanced up at the Shadow King. The look on Kyoya's face froze her in place, her eyes wide as saucers. Who was this person? This was not a look that Kyoya ever held.

 

And then, he recognized that she was there. In seconds his expression melted from desperate and vicious to guilty and horrified to utterly defeated before resuming his normal façade of careless indifference. His body language, though, remained stiff and unsure.

 

“Haruhi,” he stated her name with cool stoicism and watched the other five boys gasp and turn to see her there.

 

As she glanced around the room, everywhere she looked was an expression of guilt, loss, and longing. How had this happened? Where were her friends? Then, they all started to move to her, their expressions contrite and consoling - as if they were each seeking absolution for their sins while simultaneously attempting to comfort her from their betrayal.

 

Shaking her head quickly, she softly spoke, “So. I see. It's all of you.” `All of you that I shouldn't have trusted.' With that said, she turned to leave the room, her books forgotten in the practice area.

 

“Haruhi-” Tamaki began, reaching out to her, but Huni and Mori held him back. Haruhi's only response was to lift her hand up in a gesture requesting him to stop as she continued forward.

 

The six of them stood in silence as they watched her exit the Third Floor Music Room, wondering if this was the end of it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Secondary Disclaimer: All characters in this story are at least 18 years of age. While that might seem unlikely - as three of the characters are only sophomores in high school, I figure it this way: if Bisco Hatori-san can ignore the students graduating for two years in a row and keep everyone in the same grade, I can then apply that logic to their ages. Therefore, Haruhi, Kaoru and Hikaru are just 18. Kyoya and Tamaki are about to turn 19. Mori is about to turn 20, and Huni already is 20. (Therefore, according to Japanese figuring, Huni is the only adult. :P )