Paradise Kiss Fan Fiction ❯ The Left Hand Dreams of Him ❯ The Breakup ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

The Breakup
 
 
“Wataru, I'm so tired of hearing about Asaka and how great he is!” Yuichi Kazuki yelled in frustration after hearing yet another story about how Asaka had calmed Wataru down after a rough day at prep school. Yuichi had never been jealous of anybody as much as he was of Asaka.
“Kazuki! I can't believe you're still jealous! There's NOTHING going on between us! I love YOU!”
“Then stop depending on HIM for reassurance!”
“There's no reasoning with you about this, is there?” Wataru continued in an unusually calm and level voice, “Asaka is my friend, there are some things I can't talk about with you that I can talk about with him.”
The hint of sadness that infiltrated Wataru's calm statements made Yuichi suddenly stop. He had been prepared to spit out another complaint against Asaka but as he drew breath and had heard Wataru, he couldn't go on.
Yuichi took a moment to calm himself and asked, “Why? If you love me, why can't you talk to me?” Yuichi struggled for a moment with himself, trying to prevent the tears from spilling out of his eyes, and then gave up.
“Asaka gets me in different ways than you do.”
“What?”
“He does. He never tries to make jokes out of my insecurities, even when you do. He's secure enough with his own feelings and in control of them enough to hear me out and not laugh at anything.”
Yuichi's jaw dropped to the floor. Asaka was in control of his emotions and perfect honor student Yuichi was not? Wataru's truth went against everything that Yuichi had prided himself on.
Yuichi closed his mouth finally and sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating on his next move. Should he say something? The silence was killing them both. Yuichi looked up, let his hand drop, nodded his head, and silently walked out of the room leaving Wataru in a daze.
 
 
“Anyway, since the fight, Kazuki's been acting so aloof,” Wataru complained to his friend during their break.
“Well, you did insult him. First, you told him that you sometimes couldn't talk to him… and on top of that, you told him that he can't control himself! He's probably really embarrassed.”
“Well what do I do?” Wataru asked, burying his face in his hands. No matter how much the men had grown during their relationship, they always ended up fighting about these things. Kazuki couldn't accept the friendship, and Wataru wasn't willing to give up the friendship in favor of their relationship.
“Well, I hate to say this but… maybe you guys should break up-“
“Are you crazy? What could possibly make you say that?!”
“He's jealous of you all the time and no matter how many times you say that nothing is going on he won't believe you! If he doesn't have faith in you, why the hell should you stay with him?”
“But he's only jealous because Asaka likes me like that!” Why am I defending Kazuki when this is what I was arguing with him about?
“So what?! He should believe that your relationship is strong enough to withstand that! I mean, Kazuki always has chicks fawning over him, but you'd never think that he had something going on with them!”
As Kawamura started getting more frustrated with Wataru making excuses for him, he started raising his voice more and people around them could hear the heated discussion taking place. Wataru noticed the extra attention from surrounding tables and elbowed Kawamura.
“Maybe you're right…” Wataru replied, and drifted into his own thoughts.
 
 
“Kazuki, it's me. I know you're still brooding about the other night, but we really need to talk. It's kind of important, so call me back. Bye.” Wataru hung up and sighed. Unbelievable… where did he get to?
Wataru decided to give Asaka a call. It rang once, twice, “Hello?”
“Hey, Asaka, it's me, Wataru.”
“Hey! You sound off, what's wrong? …”
“Another fight with Kazuki.”
“You're kidding! What about?”
“You, actually.”
Silence. “Ouch, that sucks. What'd I do now?”
“Nothing. He's jealous again.”
“Oh. But there's nothing going on… Doesn't he know that? ”
“Well, that's what I keep telling him but he's being such an ass. Anyway, since then he's been avoiding me like the plague. Can you tell him to call me?”
“Sure. I'll tell him today at the meeting. We're going to remodel another house soon and we have to get the plans started.
“Thanks, I owe you…”
“No problem. Hey, listen, I've got class in about…er… two seconds. I'll call you later! Bye.”
Ugh… pathetic… I'm trying so hard to find him when I'm about to break up with him…
 
 
Wataru looked at his watch anxiously. He hadn't been waiting for long, but this meeting was very nervewracking. Wataru still loved Yuichi after all, but he couldn't stand Yuichi's lack of trust and faith in him anymore.
Five minutes later, Kazuki finally walked into the café and sat down across from him. He immediately blushed, embarrassed that his lover had been the one waiting for him when usually it was the other way around. He covered his embarrassment with a smile but when he saw Wataru's expression, he stopped.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Wataru was silent for a moment and then stammered, “Kazuki, I…uh… I think we… need to…break up.” As Wataru said the worst words in any language, he looked at everything and everyone except for the person he was talking to.
“What?! But… but… but…” Kazuki lost his cool as he processed the words and tears welled up in his eyes.
“But I thought you loved me!” Kazuki didn't care who heard him as he yelled at Wataru. It was lucky for them that the only people in the café were the old couple who ran the place.
Now both of them were crying as Wataru explained, “I do! I do Kazuki… but I can't deal anymore! I always feel so insecure around you and when I find someone to vent my frustrations to, you jump to the conclusion that I'm interested in him.”
“This is about Asaka?” Kazuki cried, giving up on wiping the tears away. Now Kazuki was more angry than sad, recalling the argument from the other day.
“This is about how you don't have faith in me! How you always, ALWAYS get jealous of a friend, when the only person I ever had eyes for was you! And no matter how many times I tell you, you won't believe me. Well I'm tired of arguing about the same damn things over and over again. Which is why I'm done!”
Wataru got up, wiped the tears from his cheeks, and walked out the door. He walked home and took every side street and alley that he could so that nobody could see him cry.
When he got home, Karin was waiting with a pot of his favorite food as a way to comfort him. She knew the whole story between Kazuki and Wataru, so naturally he had told her he was going to end the relationship. She saw him walk in the door, sobbing, and having to lean against the doorframe to support himself. She went to him, pulled him inside and enveloped him in a hug. When he'd calmed down a bit she made him go into the kitchen and try to eat a small portion of the meal.
 
 
Kazuki watched Wataru leave the café in shock. He sat there heaving sobs until he saw an old acquaintance walk in the door. It was Miho Ookusa. The last time he had seen her, she was telling him why she had stolen Wataru's precious ring. One of those times when he had been jealous… And now here she was, about a year and a half later, walking into the café where his issues with her had begun. What is she doing here? he wondered. She'd stopped frequenting the café after the ring incident.
He pretended not to see her, as talking to her would inevitably lead to Wataru. But it was too late, because she'd seen him. She timidly walked toward his table, when he didn't say anything, she sat down across from him…where Wataru had been sitting…
“Kazuki-sempai?” That was strange…she'd never addressed him with respect before. It must be because he was in college now.
“Sempai, is something the matter?” He'd stopped crying by this time, but his face was splotchy and his cheeks streaked with tears.
“Sempai, you can tell me. I might be able to help.”
Hmm, perhaps she can help. After all, she was another of Wataru's friends…that I'd been jealous of.
“Maybe you can help, Ookusa…”
 
 
It had been a week since Wataru had dumped Kazuki and yet Kazuki showed no signs of letting up. He'd been calling on the phone, stopping by Wataru's house, and even trying to get his friends to help. So far Wataru had had to endure calls from Miho, Karin, Toko, Asaka, and even Kawamura, telling him how distraught and hurt Kazuki was.
But Wataru was sure about his decision. Yes, he hurt more than he could bear, but it was all for the best. He voiced these opinions to each of the messengers, who relayed the information to Kazuki. Kazuki couldn't believe what he was hearing. He thought that by now Wataru's anger would have melted away when he saw how hard Kazuki was trying.
After another week, Kazuki had had enough of being rejected through messages and resolved to go see Wataru when he knew the other would be home. Kazuki walked to Wataru's house practicing what he was going to say to convince Wataru to take him back: Wataru, I'm so sorry that I ever made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I should have realized that what I say has an effect on you. I also want to apologize for my jealousy. I know that it is uncalled for, it's just that I care about you so much and I'm always afraid that I'm going to lose you. Now that I have lost you, I realize that this is my own fault. Please, please forgive me and take me back… perfect. Then I'll kiss him and hopefully that will be enough.
Minutes after deciding what to say, Yuichi found himself at the front door of Wataru's house. He knocked twice on the door and Karin answered. She looked behind her quickly and when she saw that nobody was behind her she stepped outside onto the front step and closed the door behind her.
“How are you holding up, Kazuki?”
“I'm not… I need to see him. Is he home?”
“Yeah, he's home. He's miserable without you but he swears he won't take you back. I'm doing all I can and Kawamura's trying too. Kawamura is out of his mind with guilt,” she spoke quickly and in a whisper, as if even a normal volume was enough to tip Wataru off about Kazuki's presence.
“Guilt?”
“Well, yeah. He was the one who planted the idea in Wataru's head! He didn't actually mean for it to happen and now he's doing all he can to persuade Wataru, but it's not working. Wataru keeps thinking that it's you trying to get through to him.”
“I might kill Kawamura. But Karin, you have to let me in! Please…I'm begging you.” Tears welled up again. Kazuki furiously wiped his eyes before saying, “Karin, I will get down on my knees, I'll be your slave, whatever it takes, just let me in!”
“Alright. But be quiet on the way up to his room.”
Kazuki ascended the stairs to Wataru's bedroom, wistfully reminiscing about the fun times they'd had together, and hoping, praying to God that Wataru would see reason.
Kazuki placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door slowly, knowing that once the door was halfway open, it would creak.
“Wataru?”
“Yuichi… I mean, Kazuki… what are you doing here?” Wataru had been crying too. Kazuki looked around the room, noticing that there were black sheets, the blinds were drawn and unusually messy.
“Wataru, I'm so sorry…”