Pet Shop Of Horrors Fan Fiction ❯ Dragon Ex Machina ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Dragon Ex Machina

 

DISC: I do not own Pet Shop of Horrors or its characters. These are the property of mangaka Matsuki Akino and publishing house Tokyopop (in the U.S., anyway). I make no profit from this story. Please don't sue.

 

 

Chapter IX

 

D decided not to open the shop the next day. While at first he did consider it, customer service required a certain equilibrium. And as hesitant as he was to admit it, still he must face facts: he was a little too lost in his thoughts to be of any use to anyone.

 

Tetsu was kind enough to keep in him tea and some freshly baked sweets, but didn't bother him otherwise. He was left alone to think amid his incense.

 

Part of him was starting to believe this was a bad idea.

 

He needed to relax and not think about things like Ten-chan and… Hm. Being quite cross with his resident fox spirit - who had been noticeably absent since the night before - was not helping with his mediation.

 

But whatever had possessed him to pose as the detective yesterday? Regardless of how he had been able to achieve it - why had he chosen that particular person?

 

`My illusions only work on those who have an underlying desire that they can play on. So you might want to think about what that means…'

 

That was what he'd said.

 

Underlying desire. Whatever could he mean by that?

 

And then he heard the words in his head, “Am I worth *anything* to you at all?” The look on his face was imploring, pleading. Why? Why was that look on his face?

 

There were too many whys left unanswered for the Count's comfort. Why were Ten-chan's illusions suddenly able to affect him - who had never been susceptible to such things? Why was the detective able to enter his walks through past and memory? No record of this ever happening without the will of the kami had ever been recorded, but Detective Orcot had not only managed to enter the past-dream, he'd affected history through doing so.

 

Why? Why was he able to do that which could not be done?

 

How had he entered the past-dream yet again - when he was nowhere near Japan? D had gotten to the point where if he concentrated, he could feel how far away the detective was. (Why did he know that? HOW did he know that?)

 

Currently, he was in… it felt like… Hawaii?

 

Oh, D was sure that the American was enjoying Hawaii. At least someone was having a good time. Plenty of women in skimpy costumes there. Hmph.

 

Why didn't he just follow one of those women around and give up on him? Why did he insist on following D - no matter where he went, across the globe to all ends of the earth?

 

“Don't you know? It's all that matters to me anymore. I will find you.”

 

He'd rejected him, pushed him from the ship. So why did that declaration in his dream make him feel like he had an arrhythmia? Why did it make him feel like he was going to cry?

 

He wasn't allowed… Humans were to blame…

 

Except. Maybe that wasn't quite right. Maybe somewhere his family had gotten something wrong. Had they misunderstood what they were supposed to be doing?

 

No. That must be wishful thinking. Because they'd been dedicated to the same purpose for generations upon generations.

 

Except his father had wanted to become a human…

 

But humans needed to be punished. It wasn't just vengeance. It was justice.

 

Justice. Like that to which Detective Orcot was so dedicated.

 

Goodness. Why would he think that? The Detective was human and in need of justice as well. Because humans could never be forgiven for their continued pursuit of genocide.

 

Never? Why? Why were all humans to fall under judgment for the actions of some? While it was certain that human culture seemed to promote these actions, still, not everyone behaved in this manner. *Chris* for instance had never done anything even remotely like genocide. He was a sweet innocent boy who would rather take his pain internally and potentially be sent to an institution than to hurt another being ever. Could Chris never be forgiven for a sin he did not even commit?

 

If the sins of the fathers were visited upon the sons, then for what sins would D have to pay?

 

And what about Orcot? Oh, how he suffered with each case he investigated. If D allowed himself to remember, he could feel the American's rage at injustice - even if it was to a poor little puppy - his sadness at the death of the plant D had given him. He could feel the anguish coming off his keiji-san in waves, time and time again - for the atrocities committed by humans against humans, for the times when he had been required to take a life in order to ensure future atrocities would not occur. Life was sacred to him. All life, even that of the monsters posing as humans.

 

Monsters posing as humans. There was a new thought.

 

His father used to say, that humans labeled anything they didn't understand as monsters, destroying, exterminating and slaughtering it into oblivion. The very definition of the word meant anything frightening. The etymology however comes from monstrum, that which teaches.

 

So what do monsters teach us?

 

What should he learn from these monsters posing as humans?

 

That all humans had a spark of destruction in their souls and they should never be trusted?

 

`Chris…'

 

No.

 

But humans were the only animals that killed to extinction…

 

Except they weren't. They were not the only ones.

 

And just like any animal that might kill the last of a kind, they didn't know. They really didn't know.

 

Ignorance is no excuse!

 

Then blame the locusts - blame any animal that kills!

 

Humans kill out of fear and ignorance…

 

`Why does the fact that my ancestors have lived according to our nature make us less worthy of life, of respect than other animals?'

 

Because humans aren't animals!

 

++Really? They're not? Then what are they?++

 

Shuuko's voice startled him awake. But she was not done.

 

++Do not separate humans from the other animals just because your family has refused to know them as you have the other fauna. Because this separation is not *their* choosing. It is the choosing of your ancestors. The folly of your Fathers, indulged in through pain and desperation.

 

++In reality, the only difference between humans and other animals is that humans have lost their innate understanding of their own nature - to their own detriment. If anything, they need your *help* - at least as much as any of us rare beasts housed within this shop, if not more so. You would do well to remember this.++

 

Blinking, D was uncertain whether Shuuko had really spoken to him, or whether he had imagined it. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep.

 

Either way, it was something to ponder further. If humans were animals, then what made it untenable for them to be pets while it was reasonable for others to be pets.

 

His father had often referred to his keiji-san as his pet. But he didn't like to think of this. Leon could never be a pet. Just the thought of it made him ill. It was belittling.

 

He'd been told before - repeatedly - that he must bring vengeance to the humans for their crimes against his own race, and for all the animals. But if humans were animals…

 

Then what was his purpose?

 

`Justice.'

 

The word echoed in his mind in answer before he could stop it. Justice.

 

Protection for the innocent, punishment for the guilty. Of any species. Justice.

 

It was what the detective believed in. Was it what D had served all these years?

 

Could it be?

 

Could he have that in common with his keiji-san?

 

The hope that thought inspired was glittering and golden. It made him wish that the discontent he felt from Leon walking on a rocky beach of volcanic sand was not imagined but real. And that he'd catch up to him soon.

 

 

X

 

 

Got nothing done today. Didn't meet anyone. Didn't find a job. Fucking waste of a day. Why is it that the days in which you get nothing accomplished are even more exhausting than those when you do everything you set out to do?

 

Maybe satisfaction helps keep you energetic?

 

Yikes! Where did that thought come from? Sounds like something…

 

D would say.

 

Feh! I'm so damned tired. But I really don't want to go to sleep. I'm so damned tired of that dream.

 

But it was different last night, at least.

 

Different. Weird-ass dream.

 

Was it just a dream?

 

Of course it was just a dream. What else could it have been?

 

There was once a time, when I heard myself stating out loud, that I needed to look the facts straight in the eye.

 

The hell?

 

It's time. This search has gone on for a year and a half. It's time to decide what I'm really doing here.

 

God. What the hell am I thinking? It… I'm looking for D.

 

But WHY? What AM I going to do when I find him? Other than give back the drawing Chris made. And then, once I've done that, what then? I can't go back to the force. I don't believe in it anymore. I've seen too much. It would feel too much like a waste of time. Pointless.

 

What else am I qualified for? Like I'm gonna go be a private detective? I mean, maybe it wouldn't be too bad - but how would it be any different than what I've been doing this past year - actually helping people?

 

It wouldn't. Wouldn't be any better. Wouldn't be enough. God, I've become… I'm becoming like D. I never stick around long enough to really get to know anyone. Just clear up one problem for `em and hope that their lives are better from it. `snot like I really do anything that great, even.

 

I mean… I think I help people, but… it's…

 

Lonely. I wonder. Did D ever feel like that?

 

Well, he's got Pon and T-chan…

 

That can't be the same, though, can it? It wouldn't be enough for me. Even… Even Chris… Hell, I left Chris behind to look for D. He's my brother and I love him, and it still wasn't…

 

Of course, he lives with his new family. It's not like he really needed me around.

 

Right. Like anyone does, really. I mean, why the hell go after D if I'm looking to be needed. D needs me like a fish needs a bicycle.

 

But I'm not looking for D because he needs me.

 

I'm looking for D because I…

 

Because…

 

Because I…

 

God, this is so stupid. I never felt like this before I met D. I never felt lonely and stupid and…

 

…

 

…Okay. Maybe… Maybe I did and just never noticed it. But does that even count? Can you really be truly lonely if you don't even notice it?

 

I don't know. Maybe it's worse if you don't notice it.

 

And why is it that I didn't notice until now?

 

Until D left.

 

D left me. Left. God. Why am I bothering to try to find him? It's obvious he doesn't want to be found. Why can't I stop looking for him? What the hell is the point in all of this anyway? What the fuck is so great about D?

 

That I just can't stand the thought of never seeing him again?

 

Oh, my god.

 

I can't stand the thought of never seeing him again. Just the thought…

 

…makes me want to put my fist through a wall, beat it until I'm bleeding.

 

I don't even feel that way about Chris. If I never saw Chris again…

 

It's a little sad. But…

 

Oh, no.

 

Oh, FUCK no.

 

I…

 

Fuck, no. I don't…

 

I'm not…

 

There is no way! No fucking way! I'm not…

 

I can't…

 

There is no fucking way that the reason I'm tracking the count is because…

 

I love him.

 

I am not fucking gay. I have never gotten turned on by looking at another guy. I mean, picture the Chief… Or Max…

 

Okay, that's just. Eww!

 

See. No fucking way I'm gay.

 

Seriously.

 

If I were gay, the thought of another guy sucking…

 

Seriously, I don't even want to think about that. GEEHHHH!

 

Which proves my point.

 

D's mouth…

 

…

 

…

 

…GOD DAMN IT! Fucking fuck FUCK.

 

D.

 

Fuck. Shit. Damn.

 

…

 

Shit shit shit! Fuck! God damn it!

 

`What will I do when I see him again?'

 

Oh, fuck me!

 

God, I need to see him again.

 

 

X