Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Let Love Be Your Energy ❯ Breakdown ( Chapter 4 )

**********

A few days passed until the next meeting.

It was now nearly two weeks since the take over and Ash still felt as powerless as ever. The rebellion was not strong enough to really achieve anything substantial, so the leaders had decided to wait a while, try to find more recruits before amounting any proper attacks against Team Rocket. They had staged small disturbances, a few attempts to try and rattle their enemies, show that they wouldn't give up, but their cause often seemed hopeless. They had even once gotten access to the net, where they played a message Ash had recorded to the people, telling them that they were looking for sympathizers and that the normal civilians should not rebel themselves. However, since then, nothing had happened.

Until today.

"We have a number of new recruits," Erika began. "It seems our little publicity drives have worked. We are well on our way to having a enough members to start bringing the fight home."

"Good. If we don't show Team Rocket our strength they will think we're nothing but pushovers," Masamune replied.

"Oh, don't worry," Jessie said with a high level of confidence. "We'll beat 'em."

The two leaders turned to the woman, who mere weeks before had been their enemy. "How can you be so sure?" Masamune questioned.

'Cause we're the good guys. And from what I've learnt over the past few years..." she looked towards Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu, with a smirk on her face, "...the good guys always win."

The foursome smiled back, leaving the rest of the congregation confused as to their inside joke.

Erika smiled at her. " Let's hope."

Standing, Ash walked over to the two fellow leaders. "So what do we do, Erika? It's too dangerous to attack them yet as our forces are still too weak and as we do not have any real weapons, well besides Pokemon."

"I think we should do the only thing possible. Continue with what we have been doing, and then attack when the time is right, whenever that will be. All we can do is be patient."

Great, more waiting, Ash thought. He knew it was all they could do, but he still hated the feeling that they were letting Team Rocket literally get away with murder.

A young man came slowly into the room and indicated to Masamune that he was needed. Ash looked intently at the man. He could see him visibly shaking, and a mien of shock blanketing his face. A sense of terrible foreboding came over Ash, as the older man left the small room. Ash glanced at each of the other people in the room in turn. The others had the same worried expression, looking in the direction where Masamune had disappeared.

Mere moments later he returned, his face baring the same expression as the young man.

**********

Ash began to pace the dry, dusty earth, frenziedly pulling his fingers through his hair, almost tearing it out. The chaos in his mind was almost driving him insane. He listened to the dumbfounded whispers of the people around him. Some muttered mangled words, a few threw up behind some of the village's burnt out buildings, sickened by the sights and smells they had just experienced.

The stench still hung in the air a few streets away from the scene, making Ash nauseous. The images continually flashed within his head, his mind's eye unable to escape the torment they created. He had never seen so much blood, the red liquid now tacky from days of exposure to the sun. The bodies were tinged blue, and still lay where they had been slain. They were of all ages, all walks of life. All life had been extinguished from Pari Village.

"Is everyone...dead?" Misty asked, her tear-stained face buried in her hands, her voice quivering.

"We haven't found anyone alive," Masamune answered.

"How many people lived here?" she begged.

"At least two hundred."

"I can't believe they killed everyone. Even the children." Brock's voice was low, also shaking. "I knew they were murderers, but I didn't think they would wipe out a whole village."

"I wouldn't of expected any less of her," an angered voice uttered.

"What do you mean, Jessie?" Brock looked up towards her, confused.

"They are known as being heavy-handed. They always go to far." Her anger was building with every word. " That bitch! This is all her fault! She didn't have a conscience ten years ago when we met, and I guess she still hasn't developed one!"

"Who are you talking about, Jessie?"

"Cassidy! It was her and that partner of hers, Butch, that were assigned to the capture of this village. They probably killed them all 'cause they put up too much resistance. Giovanni must of given them this job on purpose. He loves to make examples. He's even made examples of other Team Rocket members to keep the rest of us in line. That bastard! He wanted these people dead. If he didn't, he wouldn't have put them in charge."

"You mean...it was our fault?" Ash had stopped pacing, and stared straight at Jessie, trying to disguise his anguish.

She couldn't reply.

He took his eyes off her again, looking back into the distance, away from his friends.

James put his arms around her shoulders, trying to calm her. "Just relax, Jess. We'll make them pay for what they have done. When this is all over, they will be behind bars, and this time they wouldn't get out."

"Yeah, Jessie. We will get our revenge, for this and everything else they have done to us," Meowth reassured her.

She looked up into James' emerald green eyes. "I just can't believe they did this."

" What are we going to do with the bodies?" Erika asked Masamune.

"I don't know. We would be taking a risk burying them. It would take a long time and the longer we are out in the open the more chance we have of Team Rocket finding us. We're going to have to leave them," he finished gravely.

"But we must tell the people about it. They need to know the truth!" Misty professed.

"Don't worry. They'll know. And I wonder how Team Rocket will explain this."

Silence spread across the group. Never did they think something like this would happen.

Misty turned towards Ash, who sat several metres away from the others, staring into the sky. She could see tears in his eyes, ones which he seemed to be holding back with all the power he could muster. "Ash?" He didn't move. She stood and walked over to his side, placing a sympathetic hand upon his shoulder. "Ash? You okay?"

"Yeah," came his emotionless response.

But she could tell he was lying. She needed to take the risk of confronting him. She sank down onto her knees, hunching directly in front of him.. "Ash, we're all scared, all terrified. I know how much you are hurting. I can see it in your eyes. And...and I want to help if I can-"

" Misty, please," he interrupted. " I'm fine. And I don't need any help." His voice was loud and hard, and it almost made her weep.

"Fine," she told him with a tone of anger. She walked back to the group and sat again, the pain of rejection adding to the agony that was building within her.

He's so selfish, he always has been. Can't he see how this is affecting the rest of this?

He looked at her, her beautiful face enraged. He wanted to call her back, to plead, 'Please, Misty. Help me.' He hated it when they fell out like that, but how could he go to her? She would think he was a chicken, a scared little boy. But how much longer could he hold this back? He feared that these feelings of anger, hate, and terror would eventually overwhelm him.

**********

He walked through the fog and darkness, unsure of where his legs were taking him. It seemed that they were being controlled by some external force, and he feared where they would lead.

He walked past the burnt out buildings of the village and into the square. And there...there the bodies were, the same sight greeting him as it had earlier that day.

But was it the same? It seemed...altered. He looked closer, trying to identify the masses upon the ground through the fog. Before there had been many, perhaps over fifty, lying in this area, but now he could only see...three.

He walked to the closest mass. Slowly he began to kneel near to this poor soul's head. The mist still hovered over, obscuring the person's features. He tried to dissipate it, waving his hand within the grey fog, and all of a sudden, it ominously rolled away, making every detail previously covered visible. The face now exposed, he almost screamed when he saw who it was.

He pushed himself away from the carcass as quickly as possible, falling onto his back. Now, a few metres away, he studied the face for a second time. " Brock?" It was him, there was no doubt.

He looked to his side, to the next body. This time shock didn't overcome him. Sadness did. He crawled over to her and stroked her cold face. " No. God, no. Misty." He closed his eyes. He couldn't look into her face, now bereft of life. It pained him too much. He reopened them, trying to focus away from her body.

He saw the last one, but this one was more familiar than the rest. He painfully took his hand away from Misty, and slowly moved towards the other body, slowly turning it over to look into it's face. As he feared, it shared all of his features, but they had been dulled. He began to shake, terror and confusion overtaking his brain as he stared into this doppleganger's face.

A familiar voice began to echo all around him, calling his name, but he couldn't look away from the face. HIS face. As he glared into it the image before him it dissipated to be replaced by the bedroom.

"Ash! Ash, wake up!"

He bolted upwards, frightening Misty. Sweat was pouring off him, making his skin glisten in the moonlight that shone through the curtains, his clothes saturated and clinging to his body.

"Are you okay?" the delicate voice to his side asked. She shook with worry.

"Misty?" he said with disbelief. It was only a dream, he sighed to himself. He then turned from her, realizing the shocked expression he wore and answered her. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He was lying to her again. She knew he was holding his emotions back. She had to get him talking before he broke down. She cared too much for him to let him torture himself like this. "Is it...something about today?"

"No!" He didn't mean to shout. It was just that he didn't want anyone, especially the one girl he was falling in love with, to know how much this was hurting him. He knew he was weak, but he didn't want anyone else to know that. He had to keep his feelings deep within. He didn't want to let anyone down. And he didn't want her to know how fragile he truly was.

Misty was taken aback. Why wouldn't he let her help her? They always talked, helped each other when they were feeling down, but he hadn't spoken to her since the incidence. In fact, he hadn't spoken to anyone. "Ash. if you need to talk, I'm here."

" Misty, I'm okay. Just leave me alone, please," he said harshly. He turned away from her, pulling the sheet over his head. The tears began to fall again, overcoming any control he tried to govern upon them. It was useless to even attempt it. He buried his head under the pillow to hide his sobs. What if the dream came true? What if everyone ended up like the citizens of Pari? If he couldn't cope seeing them like that in a dream, how would he cope if one of the people he loved did die?

But maybe there had already been a death of a sort within him and his two closest friends. Maybe they had all lost a little something. He knew they had changed. No one can experience the sound of dying men's screams and the sight of decaying bodies without it altering their perspectives. Perhaps that was what the dream was telling him, an insight from his subconscience. Maybe they had lost something they had prized - their innocence, the belief they had in humanity, that nothing was purely evil and everything came in shades of grey.

When they were younger they had seen what they had once believed was evil, but now their still young minds were awaken to the truth, that until this day everything they had faced before paled in comparison to the true evil they now fought. Grey no longer prevailed. Only black and white. Evil and goodness. And as they were the soldiers of justice, they would cure their homeland of this disease and take back what had been stolen from them.

If that was possible. What if that innocence never returned? What if for the rest of his life his optimism was replaced by cynicism and resent for his humanity? Humans had committed these crimes, and he knew that he was forever tainted because of it. Innocence and naivety may have hid him from the pain of human destruction before, and his recent experiences opened his eyes to the truth, but if this pain in his heart was the price of sight, he would have rather stayed blind.

She stood from his bed and walked to her own, never allowing her eyes to move from the lump under the sheet.

Why wouldn't he let me help him? I know this is destroying him. It's destroying me. But he keeps withdrawing from me and the others. Why does he have to bottle this stuff up rather than talk to me? I thought he was my best friend. I thought he trusted me. Why does he keep hiding this from me?

**********

It was beginning to seem that everyday would bring more bad news.

Giovanni's now familar face appeared upon the television. "Team Rocket have captured and executed several more members of the rebel force. We are centring in upon the group, and we are sure that within weeks, we will have wiped them out completely.

"I know what many of you are thinking. You think that the rebels are working for your benefit, that they are trying to save you from us, but as I have said before, under Team Rocket, Kanto will be saved.

"In addition, we have secured four more locations; Indigo Plateau, Pallet Town, Pewter City and Cerulean City, despite more opposition." The news reels showed the Team Rocket army as they invaded the urban landscape, battling with civilians, several buildings being demolished by large mechanical vehicles. Then a familiar building came into view, still standing but damaged - the Cerulean Gym.

Ash and Brock looked towards Misty, who wore an expression of worry upon her, but who was noticeably relieved to see that it was mostly intact.

"We are aware that three of the primary rebels hail from these areas; Ash Ketchum, Misty Williams and Brock Harrison." As he spoke images of the three appeared on the TV screen. "However, we have been unable to find any of these individuals, nor any of their family members."

All three gave sighs of relief. That was the one thing that had been worrying them most ever since they declared themselves, the safety of their families; Ash's mother, Misty's sisters and Brock's parents and ten siblings. The other rebels must had been able to get them to safety before Team Rocket reached the town and cities.

"However, we are sure that soon these three and their 'friends' will be brought to justice, and that, when the attacks upon us stop, our people will see first hand what prosperity we bring."

"What the hell is that guy talking about?" Brock said, outraged. "They are oppressing the people. If they do make the country more powerful, that power will be held by only a few individuals, while the populace will have no freedom."

"That is all that Giovanni wants," Jessie confirmed. "The plan was that he would instate key members of Team Rocket to control appointed cities and towns. They would write a new constitution for Kanto, which, in effect, would increase the size of the army by making military service mandatory. By training these recruits, and taking the most powerful Pokémon from their trainers, he wants to make offences into the other regions of Japan, for instance Johto and the Orange Islands, and to eventually take over the whole world."

"Also," Meowth added. "It would become illegal for the average citizen to train Pokemon, placing 'em in a more secure place, and the rights of the people would be changed, giving Team Rocket control of every individual. But of course, they won't let the people know about that, yet, not until they have no choice but to go along with it."

"They will know about it soon thanks to the fact that you three have changed sides," Misty said.

Jessie, James and Meowth perked up a little. They rarely received compliments, especially not ones from a previous enemy.

Misty turned to Ash, wondering why he hadn't made any comment about what had been said, and was confronted by his solemn face. Anger and hate was building up within him again. "Ash, you okay?" That seemed to be the only thing she had said to him over the past few days. She knew what his answer would be, but she still couldn't help herself from asking that same question over and over again.

He hesitated for a moment before replying. "Yeah. I'm alright."

She could see through the lie.

"I'm going to turn in early. Night, guys."

"Night," everyone called back.

Misty stared at her friend as he left. She wanted to go and comfort him, but she was afraid he would reject her help again. She just stayed with the others, but all she could think of was Ash.

"I never thought this would go this far. I knew their would be deaths, but..." was the last thing Ash heard Kiyoko utter before he closed the door, sealing himself from the others, welcoming the isolation that lately he was being to depend upon more and more everyday.

**********

He couldn't sleep.

Hours of trying brought him no closer to unconsciousness. The past events continually played on his mind. Everything was so different now. More people died everyday, and he worried about another possible massacre. Everytime he closed his eyes the image of those innocent people's blood soaking into the earth tormented him.

How long would this go on for? And when it did end, would their be enough people left to make those deaths worth it? He didn't know. He was the so-called voice of the resistance, although he had never been comfortable with the title. He felt responsible for the deaths. He knew if he wasn't part of this, people would still have resisted and some would have still died, but this didn't make him feel any better. The feeling of guilt remained to torture him.

He felt exhausted. The constant hiding and worrying had drained all the energy out of him. He knew he had the ability to go on, but the thought of how long it could last made him wish there was a way for him to escape, something he had never done before in his life. He was the kind of person who never give up. I guess I was right. All this has changed me, he contemplated.

Everything was overwhelming him. The pain, the hatred, the fear. He wanted to get out, but he didn't care for the only escape that was offered to him. Realizing tears had begun to fall from his eyes, he got up and went into the bathroom to wash his face.

**********

Misty watched Ash leave their room. She had noticed the toll all of this had taken upon him. He had always seemed so strong, like nothing could damage his determination, but in reality she knew exactly how much it had been tearing him apart. And she couldn't stand to see him suffer alone, barricading himself from his friends.

She saw him walk back past the bedroom door and go into the living room. She knew that maybe he wanted to have some time to himself, but the desire to be there for the man she loved overrode her common sense. She put on her dressing grown and went to him.

He was looking out through the window into the wet, bleak night.

From the door, she softly said his name. "Ash?"

**********

He turned towards the voice to see Misty standing by the corner of the room.

"Hi. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She knew she had to confront him again, and this time she couldn't back down. This was the man she secretly loved. She couldn't let him keep all this to himself, and to tell the truth, she needed someone to talk to about what had been going on, someone to help her with her depression. She took a few steps closer to him and with a sympathetic smile on her face she looked straight into his eyes. "You're not, are you? I saw you crying. I knew you weren't coping. I know you don't like to show it, but you're very sensitive. It's not like you to not get upset."

Her words of sympathy broke through his egg-thin barrier. He quickly took her in his arms and began to softly sob into her shoulder. It was impossible for him to keep the tears back.

She couldn't help but do the same, her own emotions coming to the forefront. "It's okay," she whispered, "It's okay."

Moving from her comforting arms, he wiped his tears away and tried to regain a little of his composure. "I must look stupid, crying like this."

"Ash, you aren't exactly crying over split milk. The situation that we're all in, it has us scared, more scared than we ever have been in our lives."

"I know. I can't keep from thinking about this mess. We may never be able to take our region back, leaving us as fugitives until the day we die and the rest of the people as slaves. I keep thinking about the number of people who have already died...the people we have saw dead...and am scared that one day someone that I care about will be one of that number. I don't know how I'd stand losing someone like that, at their bloody hands. God, I don't know if my own mother's safe." At the last sentence, the tears threaten to burst again, but he painfully held them back, not wanting to show Misty his weakness again.

"She'll be okay. One of the resistance groups have her hidden." She stepped towards him and took one of his hands. "And don't worry about crying. I'm the only one here and you should know that I wouldn't think any less of you if you did." Her hands travelled upwards to cup his cheeks, and she rested her forehead against his. "Remember, I'm going through this too. We all are. My family gym has been damaged and I'm not sure where my sisters are. I need someone to help me, and I feel more comfortable with you than anyone else. I know you need a shoulder to cry on, too. We promised we would always be there for each other. Maybe we could do that by confiding in one another."

He took her in his arms again by way of agreement and finally let the tears fall. "I'm scared."

"So am I. So am I."

**********

"Aww. Aren't they so cute."

Ash opened his eyes to see Brock and Kiyoko, both smiling, standing in front of him and Misty. They had fallen asleep on the sofa after the previous night's talk, Misty's head resting upon Ash's lap.

"Come on, you two," Brock said. "It's getting late."

"Yeah, I'm up," Ash answered, finishing with a yawn. When he tried to get up, though, he felt a dead weight on his legs. He looked down at a still sleeping Misty, whom he had though had woken up. With her breath barely audible and her large eyes still closed, he decided it best to leave her for a little while longer. Anyway, he enjoyed watching her peaceful form, and moved a few long stands of hair from her face to get a better look at her.

He knew, especially after the events of the last night, that it wasn't just some crush or teenage urge. He was truly in love with her, and that was one of the few things that was keeping him sane.

**********

Things just kept getting worse and worse.

More executions, more cities taken over. Vermillion, Saffron. It seemed that they were losing the war, but he felt a little stronger now. Any time he had something on his mind, all he had to do was ask and she would be there for him, helping him get everything out. It was amazing what a few minutes talking to her could do. He still felt hate and fear, but he felt more able to cope with it. But, no matter what, the day he dreaded still came.

**********

"Is Ash still in bed?" Kiyoko asked her friends.

"He's awake but hasn't gotten up yet," Brock answered dolefully.

"What's wrong with him? He seemed a little weird last night." James said, a little confused why the most motivated person in their gang was still in his room.

At his question, Misty, Pikachu and Brock just lowered their heads in sadness and concern. The others noticed their worry and were unsure whether they should ask any more of them. Misty, however, answered the question. "It's his birthday."

"Oh," Kiyoko, Jessie, James and Meowth all said in unison.

"Ah, how old is he?" Jessie asked hesitantly.

"Sixteen."

"Oh," the four answered again, this time with even more sadness in their voices.

"I can understand why he wants to be alone then. I mean...sixteen. That's a landmark year," James solemnly spoke.

"We can't just let him sit around and become even more depressed," Misty said, standing from the chair where she had been sitting. "Most of his friends are here and that is one of the main things about birthdays; being with your friends. It may not be the ideal time, but he should make the best of it rather than sulking. I'm going to see him."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Brock called to her, a little worried about Ash's possible reaction. "I don't care whether it is or not. He's only making things worse by sheltering himself. He can be so stubborn at times. I'm sure a little company will cheer him up a bit."

She seemed to be irritated at her friend, and Brock knew that an irritated Misty was never a good thing.

**********

As Ash lay and thought, he heard a low noise come from the far corner of the room. It could only be the door. He knew and had hoped that this moment wouldn't come. He just wanted to be alone for a little while to think. He didn't turn around to face the intruder. "What do you want?" he called harshly.

"What a welcome to give a friend."

When he heard her soft, but angered voice, his want for privacy disappeared. He turned from the wall to sit on the side of the bed and looked sadfully at his friend. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset. I didn't mean it."

"I thought we promised that we would come to each other when we needed to confide in someone, and then I find you in here, alone, tormenting yourself. I know you don't want to talk right now but you know I'm not the type of person to let a friend sit alone in the dark with his problems, even if I had to come to him rather than him coming to me." Her voice then lowered to a more comforting tone. She never could stay angry at him for long. "I'm here if you need me. I told you that a few nights ago, and so far you have come to me whenever you've had problems. Why not now?"

There was silence for a moment before he answered, "I'm sorry. I know I must be acting like a stuck up brat, but I'm okay. I just wanted to be alone a little while, to think. I haven't been in here crying or anything. And I know I should have come to you as we promised, but...it's...I just feel..." He couldn't find the words to explain how he was feeling.

"I can understand." She came over to him and sat close to him on his low bed. "Today you're one step closer to becoming an adult. It should be a time of joy, not sorrow."

"I've been waiting for this for so long. My mum was planning a big party. Right now I should be at home with all my friends and family, but I'm in hiding, running away from death."

"Most of your close friends are here. You've no need to sit in here alone when we're all here for you."

"I know. I just wanted to be alone for a little while, you know, to get everything sorted in my mind."

"Have you been able to?"

"No. I'm just so angry." He jumped off the bed onto his feet and began to shout. "Why does this have to happen to us? Why do we have to get involved in this shit? Why can't everything just go back to the way it was, back to normal?"

Misty, not even shocked by his outburst, replied calmly. "Since when have our lives been normal? Since we were little kids we've been involved in this kind of stuff. We've fought off Team Rocket members before, although that doesn't really count as they were generally Jessie, James and Meowth. We've been in the midst of action when the world has come close to ending, we've encountered creatures only previously thought to be legends. I guess we just get thrown into all this strange stuff. Who knows, maybe it's part of our destiny. The only way we can make things better is by accepting our fate and doing our best to defeat our enemies."

"Yeah, maybe, but that doesn't make me any happier."

"It wasn't supposed to. You have to let your emotions flow and use them as the energy for our cause." She paused for a moment. "Promise me something, Ash."

"What?"

"I don't like to see you bottling everything up like this. It's not healthy. It leads to outbursts like a few nights ago. Don't hide your feelings."

"But then I'll appear weak to the other members of the rebellion. I didn't ask for the job they give me, but I have accepted it and there is no way I'm going to let them down. If I show weakness, they may feel that I cannot cope with my responsibilities."

"Those that don't know you, maybe. But then, in that case, come to me as we promised. I told you I'd always be there for you. If the pressure gets to much for you, I want to be your shoulder to lean on, just like on that night. Show your strength to the others, but show me your pain. If you need to let it all out, I'll be here. If you need to shout and yell, I'll make up an argument, and you can yell at me. God knows I've had enough practise after six years of making them up." The two let out a soft laugh at her attempt of a joke. She then looked into his brown eyes, those eyes that had the power to turn her into jelly, and added, "And I can come to you when I feel the same way. And whatever you do, don't break our promise again. You've been warned. You know how I get when I'm angry," she ended, smiling.

"Oh, believe me, I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't want you thinking I'm some selfish kid who cares more about his birthday than anything else."

"Don't worry. I understand."

"You always do."

She stood and pulled him by the hand off his bed. "Come on. Lets go out into the living room and have a little fun."

"Okay. I give up." The two left the room, and came into the living space, but they were not met by the reception they expected.

Kiyoko, Brock, Pikachu, Jessie, James and Meowth were crowded around the TV. A picture of Giovanni remained on the screen for a few seconds, before blinking off.

"What's happened?" Misty hesitantly said.

"They've just taken over Cinnabar Island. Now all of Indigo is within their control," Brock informed.

Anger began to raise again within Ash. "Kiyoko, contact Masamune and Erika. We have to start doing more. Tell him we need to start fighting back, and not just planning what we should do. Tell him Misty and I are coming to their base to discuss possible attacks. We may have protested against what they have done but not until we start using a more forceful strategy can we show them we're really serious."