Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ The Curse of the Monkey ❯ Chapter 1

{{^^ Pokemon doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Tajiri Satoshi and that other guy who no one remembers. I wrote this because... well, why does ANYONE write insane ficcies? And, also... no harm meant to the guy that does the voice of the narrator from the dub. I mean, I really don't believe he's stupid... if he is, then that's great, and I support that. But... >< Right. Okay, then. I'm babbling now... just read the damn ficcie.}}

Oh, yeah... here's the name key, as a lot of people don't know the Japanese names.

Satoshi -- Ash

Kasumi -- Misty

Takeshi -- Brock

Kenji -- Tracey

Shigeru -- Gary

Kojiro -- James

Musashi -- Jessie

Nyaasu -- Meowth

Oakido-sensei -- Professor Oak

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Satoshi, Kasumi, and Takeshi are walking around doing nothing in particular like they always do.)

Stupid Narrator Guy from the Dub: Today, our heroes are lost again!

Satoshi: ::blinks:: No, we aren't.

Stupid Narrator: (laughs gaily) Silly Ash! Always so confused!

Satoshi: ::hotly:: I am NOT Ash!

Takeshi: Hey, where's Kasumi?

Satoshi: ::looks around:: Yeah, she was just walking along with us doing nothing in particular just a minute ago!

Stupid Narrator: Oh, no! It seems that Misty has mysteriously disappeared!

Satoshi: ::whacks him on the head with Kasumi's mallet:: SHUT THE HELL UP!!

Stupid Narrator: @_@ Owies... mommy... ::faints::

Voice: Thank GOD he's gone!!

Takeshi: ::gasps:: That sounds like the voice of a hot female!!

Voice: BWA HA HA HA!!!!

(Kasumi suddenly appears in front of them, grinning wickedly. She has a flamethrower in her arms.)

Takeshi: ::disappointed:: Oh, it's just Kasumi.

Satoshi: O_O

Takeshi: ::notices the flamethrower:: Woah. Uh, Kasumi...

Kasumi: ::begins to walk towards a maniacal grin on her face:: ::cocks the flamethrower:: Now, hold still, Satoshi...

Satoshi: O_O Oh, shit. ::runs away::

Kasumi: ::runs after him:: BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Stupid Narrator: This is NOT appropriate for this TV show! Misty, what do you think you're doing?

Satoshi: DIDN'T I KNOCK YOU OUT?

Kasumi: ::smacks him with her flamethrower:: MY NAME ISN'T MISTY!!!

Stupid Narrator: ::whimpers:: Mommy... ::faints::

Kasumi: ::grins at Satoshi:: Now, Sao-chan...

(Kenji suddenly drops out of a tree, dressed as a sugar-plum fairy. He dances over to Satoshi and Kasumi, waving his cardboard wand.)

Kenji: STOP, Kasumi!

Satoshi: O_O Kenji...?

Kasumi: Who the hell are you supposed to be?

Kenji: I am the angel of all gay guys pursued by a woman! ::does a little dance::

Kasumi: I'M TRYING TO KILL HIM, YOU IDIOT!

Satoshi: ::glares:: I am NOT gay!

Shigeru: ::comes out from behind a tree:: You're NOT? ::sulks away:: Dammit... KASUMI, YOU OWE ME 10,000 YEN!!!

Kasumi: ::glowers:: Damn...

Takeshi: Idiot... we don't have any money left!

Satoshi: Yes, we do! We've got lots!

Takeshi: We don't. I blew it all on lingerie.

Satoshi: Why the hell do YOU need lingerie?

Takeshi: ^_^ Just in case.

(Kojiro runs out of a tree, dressed... normally, actually. You know what's really creepy? You never see Musashi and Kojiro actually dressed as real teenagers! I find that REALLY weird! ::ahem:: ANYWAY!)

Kojiro: SHE'S GONE MAD!!! MAD, I TELL YOU!!!! ::runs over to Takeshi and hides behind him::

Takeshi: O.O Who? WHO?

Stupid Narrator: It seems that James is in trouble! I wonder why?

Kojiro: ::blinks:: I'm not James.

Kasumi: Stop talking out of your fat ass and I'll bet he'll tell you.

Satoshi: How many damn times do we need to knock you out?

Stupid Narrator: That's not very nice, Ash...

Satoshi: I'M NOT FREAKING ASH!!! ::whacks him with a burning stick::

(Um... lets just say he faints every time he gets injured. @_@ I'm getting tired of saying he does.)

Kojiro: O.O Okay, then...

Takeshi: So... what's your problem?

Kojiro: Oh. Yeah. SHE'S GONE MAD, I TELL YOU! MAD!

All: WHO??

Kojiro: Musashi.

All: OH! DER!!

Kojiro: YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!!

Satoshi: ::scoffs:: Why should we help YOU? You're from Rocketto Dan!

Kojiro: T-T Musashi, Nyaasu, and I got fired...

Kasumi: FINALLY!!

Takeshi: What, did they suddenly realize you haven't captured anything for at least two years?

Kojiro: T-T ::nodnod::

All: HUZZAH!!!

Satoshi: Does this mean you won't be stalking us anymore?

Kojiro: Ah... no.

All: DAMN!!

Kojiro: T-T Will you please help me?

Kasumi: ... No.

Kojiro: ::makes a sad little Kojiro face::

All: Awwwwwwww...

Satoshi: Okay, we'll help you. What happened? ::hastily:: Besides the fact that she went mad.

Kojiro: ::whimpers:: Musashi turned into someone else...

Takeshi: O.O How?

Kojiro: I dunno... there was a flash of light and suddenly she's... DIFFERENT!!!

Kasumi: HOW different?

Kojiro: She keeps foaming at the mouth... and laughing diabolically... and, um, STUFF!!

All: WOW! STUFF!!

Crazed Monkey: OI!!!

Satoshi: o.O What the hell...?

Kasumi: o.o Satoshi?

Crazed Monkey: OI!! ::sits on Takeshi's head::

Satoshi: Takeshi... there's a monkey... on your head...

Takeshi: WHAT?!

Kojiro: ::confuddled:: No, there isn't...

Satoshi: Wha...?

Kasumi: ::glares:: Stop wasting time, Satoshi!

Crazed Monkey: ::puts a finger to its lips::

Satoshi: ::nods slowly::

Kojiro: ::grabs Kasumi by the wrist and stomps through the trees:: HURRY!!

Kasumi: Uh, okay... hey, not so fast!!

Takeshi: ::turns to Satoshi:: Do you think we can trust Kojiro?

Satoshi: ::is staring blankly into space::

Takeshi: ::blinks:: Uh... Satoshi?

Satoshi: ::monotone:: I have been sworn into a pact of silence by the Supreme Leader...

Takeshi: ... What the hell...?

stupid Narrator: Hmmm... it seems that Ash has fallen asleep on his feet!

Takeshi: -.- I didn't ask YOU.

stupid Narrator: Will he ever wake up? Next time, on POKEMON!!

Takeshi: ::glares:: THE EPISODE ISN'T OVER YET, ASSHOLE!!

stupid Narrator: BROCK!! Such rudeness! I'll have to speak to your father about this...

Takeshi: ::twitches:: ::hits the narrator over the head with a coffee table::

Kenji: ::observes:: I didn't know you were so violent.

Takeshi: I'm not. I just don't like being reminded of my father. ::blinks:: Wait -- where the hell did YOU come from?

Kenji: ::hangs on his arm:: I wanna hang out with you guys!! Pleeeeeeease?

Takeshi: -.- Didn't you do that already?

Kenji: T-T Satoshi and Kasumi don't like me very much... ::sobs:: Especially Satoshi... and after everything I've done for him...

Takeshi: ::sympathetically:: Are you in love with him, too?

Kenji: ::gasps:: Do you have feelings for Satoshi, too, Takeshi?

Takeshi: No. But everyone else does.

Kenji: ::eyes tear up again:: E-everyone?

Takeshi: ::seriously:: Yes, everyone. ::blinks:: Except me.

Kenji: ::wails:: THEN THERE IS NO CONTEST!! ::runs away bawling::

Takeshi: ::scratches his head:: Weird.

Crazed Monkey: ::bites his hand::

Takeshi: OW!! SHIT!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(With Kasumi and Kojiro...)

Kasumi: o.O You weren't kidding, were you?

Kojiro: -.- I told you... she's CHANGED...

Musashi: ::runs around in circles, screaming something that sounds like 'FOOBOONIKIBUBOOWA!!'::

Kasumi: What were you DOING when this happened?

Kojiro: Uh... >< I can't remember?

Kasumi: ::glares:: You're useless.

Kojiro: ::cringes:: Don't make fun of me!! I get depressed easily!!

Nyaasu: ::hops onto Kojiro's shoulder:: She also keeps yelling something about a Supreme Leader...

Kojiro: That might be something to do with our boss at Rocketto Dan...

(All three muse for a while)

Musashi: ::runs by:: FOOBOONIKIBUBOOWA!!!!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kenji: ::sings:: Oh, we are on a grand adventure, the grandest I've ever seen! We hike all day and trek all night and sing upon the plain!! My friends and I, we're really tough, we always like a good fight! We hike all day and trek all day and sing upon the plaaaaaainnnn, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH...!

Takeshi: -.- Satoshi, would you get him to shut up?

Satoshi: ::in a trance-like state:: ... How?

Takeshi: Oh, I don't care... kiss him, or something! JUST SHUT HIM UP!!

Satoshi: Yes, Supreme Leader... ::goes over and kisses Kenji::

Takeshi: O_O;; Oh, GROSS... I WAS KIDDING!!!

Kenji: ::swoons:: Oh, Satoshi... YOU DO CARE ABOUT ME!!

Satoshi: ::drops him:: I have done my Supreme Leader's will... ::wanders off, a vague smile on his face::

Takeshi: -.- That was weird... ::frowns:: What the HELL is the "Supreme Leader"?

Kenji: ::from the ground:: HE KISSED ME!!! HE ACTUALLY KISSED ME!!!

Takeshi: ::steps on his face:: Shut up, Kenji.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Shigeru: ::stands against a tree in the random forest, smoking and emitting a black essence::

Oakido-sensei: -.- Since when did you become gothic? And started smoking?

Shigeru: Up yours, old man.

Oakido-sensei: Is that your only response to EVERYTHING I say?

Shigeru: Up yours, old man.

Oakido-sensei: Thought so. (thinks) At least he's not having an affair with a woman half his age...

Shigeru: What?

Oakido-sensei: Since when could you read my thoughts?

Shigeru: Up yours, old man.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nyaasu: Hey, look!

(Musashi is sitting by a fire, carving something out of pure gold)

Nyaasu: She's doing something! ::blinks:: ::glares:: HELLO?

(Kasumi and Kojiro are fast asleep)

Nyaasu: -.- Idiots...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stupid Narrator: Why is Ash so sleepy? Why is Misty so intent on killing him? What's wrong with Jessie? Why is James so feminine?

PallaPalla: He's always like that, dumbass.

Stupid Narrator: Will Tracey ever confess his love for Ash? Where is Pikachu?

PallaPalla: ::grins evilly:: Dead. MUA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Stupid Narrator: Why is Meowth acting so normal? Why is Gary so evil? AND WILL BROCK EVER GET THE MONKEY OFF OF HIS HEAD?!

PallaPalla: ... Okay, that's enough. ::knocks him over the head with a flaming stick::

Stupid Narrator: ::faints::

PallaPalla: BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! ::coughs:: UM!! I wrote this for no particular reason, except to annoy myself AND OTHERS!!! ^.^ Don't expect me to continue it; I probably won't, with all the other stuff I have to do. ^.^ And if I do... HOW SPECIAL FOR YOU!!! ^^ Please review, I'd especially like some input on THIS story... ::laughs maniacally for a while::