Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ The Official Fanfiction University of Kanto ❯ The Rage of the Shippers(tm) ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: No own Pokemon. No own idea of fanfiction universities - Miss Cam does. Whee.

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"This classroom is Character Development 101," said Misty, gesturing to a spacious room on the second floor. "It's taught by Brock," several Brock fangirls let out wistful sighs, which Misty ignored. "Now, who can tell me what you will learn in Character Development 101?"

"You learn…to develop…your…characters and the canon ones…throughout…your…fics," said a very drained-sounding voice. Everyone turned to look at a disheveled girl, whose clothing was torn in several places, her hair a mess, leaning on a wall for support.

"Who're you?" asked Ash bluntly, taking note of her extensive abuse of ellipses.

"I…am…Yumeheart!" she exclaimed, attempting to do a pose, but failing do to her immense fatigue.

"And…?" came several voices.

"I bear…news…from the group…led by Team Rocket…" she said, falling over and passing out.

A Mini-Deoxys quickly entered the scene, with a wave of its hand revived Yumeheart, and scuttled away.

"You were saying?" said Misty impatiently, her hands on her hips. She didn't like ellipse abusers either.

Yumeheart merely looked dazed for a moment, but soon came to her senses. "Oh yeah. Well, I was in Team Rocket's group. Everything was going super fantabulous and all until we got to Jessie and James's joint class - "

"You mean 'We're Not "Evil", per se, but "EEEEEEEEEEVIL"'?" inquired Misty.

"That's the one! Anywho, when we got there, and they started explaining the class, these people who said they were 'Dodgers' started commenting on what they think of…er…James's sexuality. Of course, you can imagine how the really rabid Rocketshippers reacted to that. Before we knew it, it was an all-out flame war, and not even twenty Mini-Deoxys could control the Rage of the Shippers™," Yumeheart finished grimly.

"Rage of the Shippers™?" asked Tara, raising an eyebrow.

"Didn't you read 'OFUK: A History'?" questioned Ketsuban.

Tara felt her face go red. "What's that?"

"It's the book that details this university's history," said Hitchi, as though it were obvious. "Rage of the Shippers™…well, you'd have to read it, hard to explain."

"Just gimme the gist," growled Tara, tired of being so clueless about everything.

"Usually, the night of the Sorting, the older students question the younger ones on their shipping preferences, then the older ones who share that same preference teach them all about defending it to the death, and give them the keys to the nifty secret base for that particular ship," Ketsuban said. Then, quickly, she added, "Not that I'd have a key to the JAJL room and the - "

"But why is it called 'Rage of the Shippers'?!" Tara demanded, interrupting the Angstinclaw.

"You forgot the ™," Ketsuban interjected.

"Shut up."

There was a pause.

Hitchi cleared her throat. "I'll try to explain. It's called Rage of the Shippers - "

"™!"

"Yes, Ket, ™. Well, it's called that because when you have all these different shippers, all taught to defend their ships till death do they part, in one small area…it just won't be pretty."

"Got that right," said another voice. X, looking even worse than Yumeheart, had approached them. "Now children, X-ee needs to take a lie down and try to forget the existence of the quote "It's times like these that make me want to go straight"," with that, she fell to the ground with a resounding 'plop', apparently unconscious.

Ash and Misty looked at each other and nodded. "Your tour is postponed until after we…er…pick up what's left of everyone from Team Rocket's group," said Ash. The two took off, leaving the group of students alone.

Immediately, X shot up from the ground. "Sooooo…skittles anyone?" she asked, taking a bag from the rucksack she had on her back, and holding it out.

~*~

An hour or so later, everyone from Ash and Misty's group had been forced into servitude - for you see, the two Pokémon trainers had left them all the task of putting blankets around the survivors from the Rage of the Shippers™, and giving them hot coco. A girl named Jo-Jo had even been made impromptu counselor.

"And how did that make you feel?" mumbled Jo-Jo disinterestedly, a clipboard in one hand as she sat on a chair, listening to a 'victim' describe his horrible experience.

The boy took a tissue and dabbed at his eye. Tara, who was nearby pretending to be tying up her shoelace so she could take a break from work, noticed that the boy appeared to have mascara running down his face. 'Is he a eunuch?' she wondered, using the wonderful word that she had been taught from her numerous viewings of the movie 'Pirates of the Caribbean'.

"…Yes?" said Jo-Jo, raising an eyebrow as the boy let out a long snuffle.

The boy made his eyes extremely wide. "You want me…to…to…to…relive it?"

"Er…yeah," said Jo-Jo, scooting her chair backwards slightly, and with good reason. Not only were his eyes as large as saucer plates, but he abused ellipses too!

"ITWASSOHORRIBLEOMGYOUWOULDN'TBELIVEITIFITOLDYOUYOU'RESTILLINNOCENTANDUNBLE MISHEDFROMNEVERHAVINGTOWITNESSSUCHAHORRORIJUSTCAN'TBRINGMYSELFTODOTHATTOYOU ORTOREMEMBERMYSELF!" he screamed.

There was complete and utter silence. Tara coughed, and someone elbowed her.

Jo-Jo looked completely bewildered. "Er…and how did that make you feel?" she asked hesitantly.

The boy looked at her incredulously for a split second, and then burst into unrestrained sobs.

~*~

"Well, now that we have that…incident…over with, the injured have been sent to Nurse Joy, and the psychologically damaged have been locked up in a room with padded walls, let's continue our tour," said Misty. She did not sound happy in the slightest.

"Oooh! What's that room?" asked X, pointing across the hallway.

Ash sweatdropped. "That's the janitor's closet."

"Why didn't you get locked up?" grumbled Misty, looking disgustedly at X, who was now melting lavender-colored skittles and using them to paint a large stripe under each eye.

X smiled eerily. Tara and several other people braced themselves for an incoming explosion, or something else of that nature. "I'm always like this. Why do you ask?"

"N - no reason," said Misty, who appeared to have just realized the sort of person she was dealing with here, and backed up several steps. "Continuing on our tour…"

~*~

"How did you enjoy your tour?" asked Barb.

"I'm hot, sweaty, and I want to go home!" growled Tara. "In other words, what do you think?!"

Barb smiled. "Ah. It was as successful as ever, then."

"Mmmm?"

"OFUK tours are notoriously nasty," said Hitchi, appearing to be too exhausted to do much more than poke at her food.

"Let me guess, you learned that by reading 'OFUK: A History', right?" muttered Tara sulkily. It seemed like everyone around here had read that accursed book but her.

Hitchi blinked. "Er…actually, no. Why would think that?"

Tara felt her face go red. "I - er - that is to say…well, how did you find out then?" she asked accusatorily.

"I heard from the older students. While you were knocked out," she clarified.

"This is so not fair. I don't know anything! I bet the older students told you all about classes, right? And I'm going to be lost since I don't know, right? I'LL END UP FLUNKING ALL 'CAUSE I WASN'T BLOODY AWAKE, RIGHT?!" Tara screamed, standing up very suddenly. When she became aware of the stares of everyone in the faux Great Hall, she did the only thing she saw sensible. Dove under the table.

She would soon find that doing such was not the way to get attention away from oneself.

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Er…yeah, short chapter ^^. It was more of a transition chapter than anything. Classes start next!