Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Pokemon Coast to Coast ❯ Adult Swim ( Chapter 1 )

Welcome! The name’s storyteller51, and this is the first episode of my series, “PokemonCoastto Coast”. It’s essentially SpaceGhostCoastto Coast with Pokemon, but I’m sure you’ll like it anyway.

By the way, I don’t own any of the characters used in my stories. And now…

: WAITING

Announcer: Tonight! Live from Pokemon Planet! It's the 1st Annual Anime Fanboy Face Off! (Polaroid’s fly in) With special guests! Dynablade! Faye Valentine! Scyther! Cloud Strife! Donald Duck! Yusuke Urameshi! Molly Hale! Koyomi Mizuhara! Mihoshi Kuramitsu! And Lan Hiarki! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, The Council of Anime. (Curtain rises)

Council of Anime: We're from outer space,
we're an evil disgrace!

Mihoshi: We spread germs and disease
all over the place!

Council of Anime: But now we're here
and we're full of beer

Dynablade: Full of beeeeeer! (subtitle: HELLO MY NAME IS DYNABLADE!)

Molly: Bulbasaur’s so pretty
I could hold him dear! (music stops)

Dynablade: What the...!

Scyther: What, are you insane?

Molly: Okay, okay! I hate him! (music resumes)

Council of Anime: We hate em too,
he's like a bad haiku

Dynablade: Haiku! (subtitle: HELLO MY NAME IS DYNABLADE!)

Donald: (Squawks) (subtitle, with bouncing ball: BUT HE GAVE US ALL A PARDON / SO, WHAT COULD WE DO?)

Council of Doom: So we're nice again,
Yeah! We're all good sports,
and we're here to judge the
Adult Swim Shorts!

Dynablade: Shorts! Shorts!

Announcer: And now, your host for the evening, The Principal of Outer Space! Bulbasaurrrrrrrrrrr!

Bulbasaur: (walks in) (coughs during introduction) Greetings! I'm Bulbasaur, from Coast to Coast. Welcome to the First Annual Anime Fanboy Face Off! (aside) We're rolling as we speak, still? Okay, good. (to camera) Tonight, five directors from various animes and video games will compete against each other, in front of an audience of millions and millions, for a big prize! (fanfare) Each director will be judged in random categories by the Council of Anime! The winner will be the winner when he or she wins! And the winning performer will have his or her show premiered at the end of the show!

Squirtle: (glares at Bulbasaur)

Bulbasaur: Okay. Here to tell you how the votes are tabulated, from the Accounting Firm of Price Westinghouse, Aipom the monkey!

Aipom the Monkey: (on stage in a tuxedo) (squeaks and squeaks)

Bulbasaur: Huh? What are you saying, Aipom? What are you saying?!

Aipom the Monkey: (squeaks and squeaks)

Bulbasaur: I can't understand a word you're saying! Okay, get the monkey off the stage. Now, let's meet the judges, the Council Of Anime.

(Judges, from left to right: Scyther, Donald, Molly, Mihoshi, Dynablade)

Bulbasaur: Mihoshi Kuramitsu, a galactic police officer from the Solar System! She likes to mold things out of scalding hot tar.

Mihoshi: Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Hi Kiyone! (makes peace signs) Predicate!

Bulbasaur: Heh heh, oh-kay. Three time Pop Star Wresting Champion and conqueror of the Dust Mite Planet, Dynablade!

Dynablade: All Hail Dynablade!

Council of Anime: Hail!

Dynablade: Hail Dynablade! Haiiiil Dynablade!

Bulbasaur: Molly Hale! And next...

Molly: Mmmmmm! You look really good in those tights, honey!

Bulbasaur: Eew! Yuckie!

Mihoshi: Predicate!

Bulbasaur: Next, Donald Duck, an actor whose anger fits is enough to strike fear into the hearts of those weaker than he. (looks evil, making squawking sound) He collects fridge magnets and is a champion speed knitter.

Donald: (drones)

Bulbasaur: And finally, Scyther! A bug Pokemon who hails from the east. He enjoys literature and books, and he likes to read colorful pamphlets to orphans.

Scyther: Thank you Bulbasaur, I'm esteemed.

Squirtle: Death to Scyther!

Scyther: Oh please, Squirtle, your insipid habit of barking out ludicrous commands is nothing more than a blatant display of your lack of intelligence.

Squirtle: Oh. Thank you, Scyther. That's just about the dumbest thing I ever heard!

Bulbasaur: Hey now! You two be nice!

Squirtle: Shut up!

Scyther: Shut up!

Bulbasaur: Alrighty, who will be our first director? Dian?

Dian Parkinson: Are we on or...

Bulbasaur: (laughs) (quietly) Charmander! Who's on first?

Charmander: Who's on second?

Bulbasaur: I dunno! Who's on second?

Charmander: Right!

Bulbasaur: Oh-kay. (pauses, looks around studio) Have you ever noticed the beautiful lighting in this studio?

Squirtle: Yeah. (breaking sound off screen) What's a Face Off?

Bulbasaur: It's a franchise.

Squirtle: Oh, okay. What’s an award?

Bulbasaur: The first category is Actor's Composure Under Extreme Interrogation! Our first contestant is Cloud Strife!

(Monitor lowers with Cloud)

Announcer: (whispering) Tonight's contestants have been briefed on the rules governing each category. What you are about to see is real, these are not actors.

Bulbasaur: Welcome, Cloud!

Cloud Strife: Well, thank you very much, I...

Bulbasaur: What do you do?

Cloud Strife: I'm, uh, an actor, the star of Final Fantasy 7…

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 3, 10, 5, 1, 6)

Bulbasaur: Not yet, you clowns! Sorry, uh, tell us about your show!

Cloud Strife: We’re powerful men that are destined to save the world, but we have misadventures along the way.

Bulbasaur: (long pause) Let's look at the clip!

(Clip from the beginning of “Final Fantasy VII” is shown)

Bulbasaur: Clip category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 3.14, 78, 109, 12.2, "HELLO MY NAME IS DYNABLADE")

Announcer: (with French translation in background) Mihoshi, twelve point two. Molly Hale, one hundred nine. Dynablade, "Hello my name is Dynablade."

Bulbasaur: What is it with you and destroying reactors?

Cloud Strife: (clears throat) Well, being rebels, we try to keep the world going, and…

Bulbasaur: You just decide what to do, just like that.

Cloud Strife: (shrugs) Uh... I...

Squirtle: (mocking Cloud a la Butthead) Uh huh huh, uh huh huh...

Bulbasaur: Okay Cloud! Solve the puzzle! (Cloud doesn't have time to respond) Wrong! Too many vowels!

Cloud Strife: Oh, sssss...

Bulbasaur: Council?

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 5, 4, 3, 6, 3)

Bulbasaur: Hmmmm, not so good. Do you sing?

Cloud Strife: Uh... no, I don't.

Bulbasaur: Dance?

Cloud Strife: No, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: (sings, in monotone) Don't sing, don't dance. What do you do, Cloud?

Cloud Strife: Well, you can do a show with just...

Bulbasaur: Okay, I'm doing a show, here we go, I am an actor! What's my motivation? Where am I? Why am I? What are the other characters doing?

Cloud Strife: I guess the characters are doing superhuman feats in themselves.

Bulbasaur: Likin' it! They're doing feats and I come in and I say...?

Cloud Strife: Uh...

Bulbasaur: Talk to me, Cloudy baby!

Cloud Strife: Hello, and my name is Cloud Strife.

Bulbasaur: (bad acting, straight) "Hello, and my name is Cloud Strife!" Directing category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 2, 0, 1, 2, 4)

Bulbasaur: Ooooh. Sliding. Well, thanks, Cloud! We'll see you at the end of the show!

Cloud Strife: Thank you, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: You're welcome! My next contestant is Faye “The Hammer” Valentine!

Squirtle: The wrestler?

Bulbasaur: No, from "Cowboy Bebop".

(Faye Valentine appears on the monitor, eating a danish)

Bulbasaur: Hello, Citizen Valentine!

Squirtle: Hey, do you know Rick Flair?

Faye Valentine: Mm Hm. (takes big bite)

Squirtle: (wide eyed) Food. Food!

Charmander: (pointing) You have a danish!

Faye Valentine: Yes.

Squirtle: Gimme the danish!

Faye Valentine: Okey dokey.

Bulbasaur: No, Faye, it's a trick! He'll take your whole hand!

Faye Valentine: No, I doubt it, but it would be funny... that would be comedy.

Bulbasaur: Wait a second, young lady, blood is not funny.

Mihoshi: (Ding!) Blood is funny! Faye is the winner!

Faye Valentine: I totally love the Pokemon Planet!

Bulbasaur: Citizen Faye, you chose the danish, why?

Faye Valentine: I have no idea, it was the only thing there, it was either a bagel or this cream cheese frosting thing.

Bulbasaur: Food selection category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: -9, -1, -3, -2, 0)

Bulbasaur: Council would have chosen the bagel. Bad decision, Faye.

Faye Valentine: See, what I'm trying to do is chew and talk at the same time...

Bulbasaur: Talking with your mouth full category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: -22, -3, -90, -48, -67)

Bulbasaur: Ooooh, Faye, things aren't looking' good. Bad manners are never en vogue.

Faye Valentine: I guess, it, it...

Bulbasaur: Let's look at the clip!

(Clip of "Cowboy Bebop”, a gun fight)

Bulbasaur: Clip category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 9, 0, 2, 1, 0)

Bulbasaur: You can do better than that, Faye!

Faye Valentine: I... (long pause) (shrugs) I guess you're a critic.

Bulbasaur: Yup.

Faye Valentine: Okay.

Bulbasaur: We'll be back in two and two!

Announcer: Only one show will win! Which one will it be? Stay tuned to find out.

(INSERT COMMERICAL HERE)

Announcer: Oh goody! The Anime Fanboy Face-Off franchise is back! Excited? I am.

Bulbasaur: Welcome back! Our next contestant is Lan Hiarki!

Lan Hiarki: Whew! Just beamed in from the old Enterprise, uh, thought I'd say hi!

Bulbasaur: Shatner method acting! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 0, 0, 0, 0, 0)

Bulbasaur: Goose eggs. Ha ha ha! But you'll have a chance to make that up. Tell us what you do!

Lan Hiarki: I am a student, owner of MegaMan.exe, star of “Mega Man Battle Network…"

Bulbasaur: Wrong!

Lan Hiarki: Excuse me, Bulbasaur?

Bulbasaur: You must answer in the form of a walrus!

Lan Hiarki: Are you serious?

Scyther: Pardon the intrusion, don't you mean, question?

Bulbasaur: You have a question, Scyther?

Scyther: No, lower brain form, you mean, he should answer in the form of a question.

Bulbasaur: Yes, he should question in the form of an answer! Good answer! Question the answer, Lanny!

Lan Hiarki: Who?

Bulbasaur: You're good, buddy boy! Now for the clincher... (drum roll)

Lan Hiarki: This is totally serious.

Bulbasaur: You wouldn't understand my shouting Braille when there's a blender in the oven.

Lan Hiarki: Uh, because our deflector shields were up and our communication was kinda garbled?

Bulbasaur: Uhhhh, we'll have to check with the judges, hold on!

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 9, 7, 8, 9, 8)

Bulbasaur: You're back in the race!

Lan Hiarki: Thank you, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Not a problem, Hiarki.

Lan Hiarki: This is my fifteen seconds of, royal fame.

Bulbasaur: That's enough, son.

Lan Hiarki: Okay, was I hammin' it up a little too much?

Squirtle: Roll the clip!

(Clip of "Battle Network", opening credits only)

Bulbasaur: Clip category! Survey says...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 8, -107, 9, 8, 7)

Bulbasaur: Well, Lan, you're doing okay.

Lan Hiarki: Okay.

Bulbasaur: See you. (Lan zaps off monitor) Okay! My next contestant is Koyomi Mizuhara. (appears on monitor)

Dynablade: Hey! What time is it?

Bulbasaur: Welcome, Comrade Yomi!

Koyomi: It's good to be here Bulbasaur, thank you.

Bulbasaur: You're welcome.

Koyomi: You're welcome.

Bulbasaur: Yes, Bulbasaur.

Koyomi: Yes, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Mimic category! Council gives...

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 2, -5, 1, 2, Dynablade)

Dynablade: Hey! What time is it?

Bulbasaur: Tell us about your show.

Koyomi: Yeah, I’m in a classroom with a…

Bulbasaur: Uh huh... Roll it!

(Clip from “Azumanga Daioh" is shown)

Bulbasaur: Clip category! Survey says...

Squirtle: Your show's stupid!

Bulbasaur: Ooooh, (Ding!) what do you say to that Comrade?

Koyomi: Well, he can go and just have his own opinion and it won't bother me at all.

Dynablade: (in background) Hey! (Ding!) Hey, looky here! (Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!) Hey, look at me! (Ding! Ding!)

Bulbasaur: (looks at Dynablade, annoyed) Self-restraint category! Council gives... Council gives...

Dynablade: Oh!

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 1, 3, 2, 3, 1)

Dynablade: There!

Bulbasaur: Okay Mizuhara, looks good!

Koyomi: Thank you, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: (mocking) Thank you, Bulbasaur. (normal voice) Our last and final contestant is Yusuke Urameshi! Come on down! (monitor lowers)

Yusuke Urameshi: Thanks. It's good to be here.

Bulbasaur: What do you do?

Yusuke Urameshi: Uh, I’m the star of “Yu Yu Hakusho” possibly the best anime out there today.

Bulbasaur: Ohhhh, let's see the clip.

(Clip of "Yu Yu Hakusho", about 0.5 second long)

Bulbasaur: That's great!

Yusuke Urameshi: Um, why are you like a big plant just with, like, eyes cut in it, going' like (motions) "Woooh!" and scary? I mean, why is that? I mean, that's not like a plant.

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 10, 10, 10, 10, 10)

Bulbasaur: Uh, Yusuke...

Yusuke Urameshi: You know, I don't, I don't understand this whole wearing a cape thing. It's kinda strange to me.

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 10, 10, 10, 10, 10)

Bulbasaur: Urameshi...

Yusuke Urameshi: Doesn’t make any sense.

Bulbasaur: I'm not a plant, kid! I'm a Pokemon!

Yusuke Urameshi: Oh, is that it?

Bulbasaur: Yes! I'm the savior of Kanto! A protector to all Pokemon!

Yusuke Urameshi: I don't, I don't, uh, think crime fighting takes any specific age.

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 10, 10, 10, 10, 10)

Bulbasaur: Quit thinking.

Yusuke Urameshi: I mean, even babies could save the day if they had to.

Council of Anime: (Ding!) (Scores: 11, 11, 11, 11, 11)

Bulbasaur: Aren't you late for something?

Yusuke Urameshi: Uh uh. No.

Bulbasaur: (charges his bulb, as if to fire)

Yusuke Urameshi: Oh, I get it.

Bulbasaur: And it's not funny... is it?

Yusuke Urameshi: Nooo, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Get a haircut, Urameshi. (Yusuke disappears from the monitor) Alrighty! Now it's time to tabulate the scores and determine tonight's winning actor! (drum roll) Charmander?

Charmander: (pulls the lever to begin tabulating)

Bulbasaur: And the winner is...

Announcer: Don't move. Not a muscle. The winning show is coming up! Right after these messages.

(INSERT COMMERICAL HERE)

Announcer: Ah, there's more. We now return to the conclusion of The Anime Fanboy Face-Off. Let me do that again.

Charmander: It's a tie! I think. Isn’t it?

Council of Anime: (Scores: 86, 86, 85, 86, 86)

Charmander: Yeah, it's a tie. (fanfare)

(Musical accompaniment starts; Bulbasaur and Squirtle sing)

Bulbasaur: Here he comes!
It's a tie!
It's a beautiful burnt sienna tie for me!

Squirtle: I want green,
to match my spleen,
Oh, what a beautiful tie!

Aipom the Monkey: (squeaks and squeaks)

Bulbasaur: Look at Aipom,
He is small,
Oh, what a monkey he is!

(Music ends; Aipom keeps squeaking)

Bulbasaur: What? Quit speaking monkey!

Scyther: (pausing deliberately, as though he's translating) Ahem. He said, since it's a tie, yes, I believe it's 'tie', you must have a tie-breaker.

Bulbasaur: No, since it's a tie we'll have a swimsuit competition! (low voice) Lose the monkey! (Aipom screeches, followed by a crash sound) The tie-breaker category is the Swimsuit Competition! Citizen Cloud Strife! Go!

Cloud Strife: (appears on screen) No, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Disqualified! (zaps him off of screen) Faye Valentine! Swimsuit! Go!

Faye Valentine: (appears on screen, still eating, mouth full) Do I look at anybody?

Squirtle: Danish!

Bulbasaur: Disqualified! (zaps him off of screen) Lan Hiarki! Swimsuit! Go!

Lan Hiarki: (appears on screen) Are you serious?

Bulbasaur: Disqualified! Comrade Gingersnap! Swimsuit! Go!

Koyomi: No, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Disqualified! (zaps her off screen) Last contestant! Yusuke Urameshi! Swimsuit! Go!

Yusuke Urameshi: (appears in swimsuit, life jacket, water wings, fins, mask and snorkel, posing & waving; disco music plays)

Bulbasaur: And the winner of the 1st Annual Face-Off is... Yusuke Urameshi! (Yusuke holds flowers and weeps, a tiara on his head)

Yusuke Urameshi: (talking through mask and snorkel, blowing kisses) Thank you, Bulbasaur, oh, I love them, thank you, Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur: Goodnight everybody! You're beautiful! Here's the winning show that won the winning... oh, roll the clip.

(Entire "Yu Yu Hakusho" pilot is shown)

(Credits roll)

Bulbasaur: (mocking) Thank you, Bulbasaur. .   If you send me enough reviews, I’ll keep going, so please read and review!