Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction ❯ Learning To Land ❯ Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter One Hundred Nine ~ Mukahi ( Chapter 111 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: suteishichic 
Anime/Manga: Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.25.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 246 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Prince Of Tennis Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.25.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 246 | Status: Completed
Learning to Land by Suteishichic. Chapter One Hundred Nine ~ Mukahi
Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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Yuushi kept his mouth away to Gakuto's disappointment. The tensai kissed his cheek and then over to
Gakuto's ear. Yuushi pulled his arms around him into a tight embrace, but it didn't hurt. It was more like
Yuushi was very serious and how serious was kinda scary for a moment until Yuushi whispered fiercely
like he was vowing every word, "I love you, Mukahi Gakuto. I really and truly love you. The honest
truth is it's different with me because I would rather die than ever hurt you. I'm going to keep you safe
and show you every day how much I love you. I'll do whatever it takes to alleviate all of your fears
until one day they will all be gone. Until one day when what happened to you is only a distant memory.
You will never feel hurt or scared again. From now on, I want you to only know love and happiness. I
love you, Gakuto. I love you so much..."
"Uh...Yuushi?" Gakuto waited until he could get a word in and interrupted because the stupid tensai
was in Yakkity Yuushi mode. He was going off on a tirade and getting himself all choked up. They
didn't need more confessions or tears or bad things. They needed more of the fun stuff. The hot stuff.
The nice comforting kissing stuff at the very least.
"Yes? What? Are you all right? Am I holding you too tight? Are you afraid? I didn't mean to hold you
so firmly..." Yuushi sounded concerned.
Gakuto sighed, "No. I'm fine...and thanks and all...but...well...how long are you gonna hold me like
this? Cause, you're kinda heavy." And it was kinda dull. Nice, sweet, and adorable, sure but also boring.
Especially without the kissing to keep Gakuto's body and brain occupied.
Yuushi sounded like he was smiling, "Hmm? Am I too heavy? I am sorry sweetheart, but I thought I
would hold you just a little longer like this. Gakuto, I'll hold you for as long as it takes."
Gakuto was completely lost. And this had been his stupid idea in the first place! This seriously could
not be the hot making love thing Yuushi wanted to do, was it? He sighed, "As...long as it takes for
what...?"
Sounding calm as if he was talking about something stupid like the weather Yuushi said, "For you to
stop trembling."
"I'm not...?" Actually, he was kinda shaking, but it was more like he was shivering with cold even
though he didn't feel chilled at all. "O...oh. I didn't know I was. Uh...but I don't feel scared or anything.
I mean, I'm turned on and I feel safe and stuff with you so I don't think it's really me doin it. Maybe it's
like nerves or somethin. It just kinda happens I guess, and I don't know how long it's gonna take to
stop. When I'm playin tennis and everyone is watchin me it happens but only to my knees. I just kinda
play and then when I remember about it, it's stopped by then. I think it just goes away on it's own.
Sometimes when I get an idea or think about somethin I shake just my leg like that and then sometimes
I get like that when I have to read in front of class."
He heard Yuushi's smile. It was this tiny clicking noise of his lips moving across his teeth. Dryly Yuushi
said, "Yes. I know."
Of course he did. Gakuto sighed annoyed at himself for shaking like this and still felt kinda bored,
"Well while we're waitin, can we do something else? I mean, it might stop faster if we kiss around and
stuff. So...can we?"
"All right," Yuushi said and sounded all lovey. "Provided this time you kiss me properly and begin the
kiss first."
"What? Properly...? You want me to kiss you first and kiss you good, right?" He was confused. Didn't
he kiss Yuushi a hundred times or more? Hadn't they kissed each other a gazillion times by now? Why
was Yuushi sounding so happy? What was the damn tensai up to?
"Mmhmm." Yuushi hummed as he pulled back from Gakuto's ear slightly. "That would be nice."
Gakuto sighed annoyed and said sounding hostile, "I've kissed you first and I've been kissin you good."
He was bothered by Yuushi asking this since he certainly had kissed the tensai first and they had been
kissing good all night. Really good. Gakuto was enjoying it so what the hell? Wasn't this good enough
for the tensai? What, did Yuushi come down with a sudden case of amnesia or something?
"Mmm..." Yuushi hummed but it seemed like he was agreeing but not really agreeing at the same time.
"Perhaps. Certainly, you've kissed me first and truly, those are some of my most precious memories.
And while yes, you always return my kiss passionately, upon further reflection, it occurs to me that
most of the time when we kiss properly, I begin the kiss..." The damn sneaky tensai didn't seem
bothered by Gakuto feeling more and more annoyed at all.
As if unaware that Gakuto felt beyond annoyed and moving into feeling dangerously enraged, the
tensai kissed Gakuto's forehead and then his right cheek softly in a long, gentle, loving press of his lips.
It was just like when Gakuto kissed Yuushi nice on his own before, although Gakuto had done it on
Yuushi's lips.
Feeling furious now, Gakuto tried to think of the last time he had kissed Yuushi in a way that could be
considered "properly" kissing him. Damn it. Gakuto tried to figure out what the hell kissing properly
meant and couldn't. He didn't wanna ask. Not when Yuushi was being so serious about it. Gakuto didn't
wanna look stupid, especially in front of Yuushi. He guessed it would be kissing Yuushi all romantic or
lovey--good enough to make the dopey tensai speechless and all moony. Gakuto tried to think of the
last time he kissed Yuushi like that and did it first.
Damn it.
Gakuto couldn't remember. He was more angry now than ever.
Seemingly unaware of the danger, Yuushi moved Gakuto's hair in the front around. Yuushi did this
sometimes and it was kinda annoying, but it was something only Yuushi would dare to do to him. The
tensai absently moved Gakuto's bangs into a "V" shape as if thinking of other things. Gakuto usually
hated when Yuushi did this. It reminded him of his widows peak which he tried very hard to hide along
with his scar.
It was annoying. It was sweet. It was loving. It reminded Gakuto he really had no secrets from Yuushi.
And that Yuushi loved him. Really loved him.
Damn it.
Gakuto realized there was nothing he could do to stop Yuushi from annoying and boring him to death,
except to go ahead and kiss the tensai the right and "proper" way. In a sweet hot kiss that took the
tensai's very breath away.
It wasn't as easy as Gakuto thought. Usually when he wanted to kiss, Gakuto just held his lips out to
Yuushi to hint that the tensai should go ahead and kiss him.
Damn. He realized up until now it had pretty much been Yuushi always starting stuff. In fact, except for
that first night at Jiroh's when he had so badly kissed Yuushi while crying, and then later when trying to
get Yuushi to have sex with him, Gakuto really couldn't remember kissing Yuushi first at all. Not like
all hot or anything. Oh. Except there was that one time after he got all sick when he kissed the tensai on
Yuushi's futon just before his mom came to see him. Yuushi kept saying he knew Gakuto didn't feel
well so the tensai probably thought it was from that. He kissed Yuushi first earlier. Lots of times. Did
those count?
Discouraged, Gakuto asked, "I really don't kiss you good first ever?"
The tensai's face softened into a gentle smile. Yuushi was feeling shy but only Gakuto would know it.
Other people who didn't know the tensai would probably think he was just being smug or feeling cocky.
He wasn't though. Yuushi just looked like that sometimes when he was really feeling other things.
Things that mattered. Lovey things that he was embarrassed to talk about. Yuushi rarely spoke without
thinking everything through first, but when he was like this, he was just being open and himself. He
could be like this with Gakuto only. At least that was what Gakuto knew from experience and rumors
and in the end hoped was true.
Slow in his accented drawl and sounding moony because he probably didn't wanna hurt Gakuto's
feelings or something, the tensai said, "I didn't say never. You have kissed me first and...good...I love
how you usually reach to kiss me after you have an orgasm which I always enjoy. I want you to know I
truly treasure each and every kiss you've ever bestowed upon me, and I understand that you're not
really like I am with regards to romantic gestures. I don't want anything to change, Gakuto, I just
thought it would be a nice change this one time." Yuushi stroked his cheek gently, "I was thinking it
would be rather nice to feel wanted by you and physically shown that desire. It isn't an important
request, my love, and I don't mind if we forget it and proceed in our usual manner."
Suddenly Gakuto wanted to kiss him. Really wanted to. He wanted to show Yuushi how he was feeling
for him. Wanted Yuushi to feel wanted and sexy and all that stupid lovey crap the tensai deserved to
feel.
Gakuto really did want to. Really. He coulda sworn he wanted to, but when he went to, maybe it was
nerves or something--although why he would be nervous around the tensai after all this time he had no
idea--but Gakuto moved his face close to Yuushi's and burst out laughing right before he touched
Yuushi's lips with his own.
Maybe it was the moony way Yuushi was looking at him like his one wish in the whole world was
gonna be fulfilled. Maybe it was because they had barely slept and it was late. Maybe it was because
they were both guys and acting all dopey. Maybe because being like this with Yuushi was nice and felt
good but it still made Gakuto feel a little anxious although he couldn't say why. Maybe it was all of
those things combined, but the more times Gakuto tried, the more times he laughed.
And the more times he laughed, the more Yuushi didn't. Which for some reason made Gakuto crack up
even harder. Between fits of laughter and several false starts including the last one where he snorted
just before their lips met, Gakuto wiped tears from his eyes caused by laughing so hard and said,
"Sorry. Sorry, Yuushi. This time I won't laugh. I mean it..."
But then he tried to be serious again, moved his lips to Yuushi's, got close, closer, even closer, then
snorted again, and laughed even harder.
Yuushi just waited. After a while of Gakuto cackling and convulsing with laughter under him, Yuushi
sharply said, "It's okay if you don't want to or cannot."
The tensai's face was all serious and didn't change but Gakuto knew from knowing him, Yuushi was all
hurt. It was just this way the tensai's eyes looked steely and hard like ice, but they were really just a
mask hiding his hurt. Everyone else would think Yuushi was furious, but not Gakuto. Oh Yuushi might
be kinda mad, but there was more to it than just anger. No one else in the world would notice or get that
the anger was just hiding how hurt the tensai was really feeling.
"Yuushi? Please don't be mad. Please? I'm really sorry. I don't know why I keep on laughing, but I
wanna kiss you. I do. It's not that I don't wanna." Gakuto held on to Yuushi a little tighter. He tried to
keep Yuushi from moving away because it felt like the tensai was gonna get offa him. Maybe go to the
other room and go to sleep without him or something.
"I...am not...mad," Yuushi said it very slow and quietly. He tried to sound like he was all fine, but
Gakuto knew he wasn't. "I understand and I told you that it's quite all righ..."
Annoyed, Gakuto kissed him. He did it harder and with more force than he meant to so he pulled back
in the middle of it and said, "I like you, Yuushi. I really like you and I want you and I wanna to kiss
you. I'm sorry I laughed. I'm gonna kiss you again, okay?" Before Yuushi could say anything, Gakuto
trapped the tensai's face in his hands and pressed his lips only on Yuushi's mouth. Gakuto felt very
turned on suddenly and he felt that tingle between his legs along with the wet slidey fluttery feeling in
his belly, but it was more than that. He had this urgent feeling as he pressed his lips to Yuushi's that
maybe if he didn't do this enough or if Yuushi didn't like it that he would walk away.
Gakuto didn't wanna let him go. He couldn't let Yuushi go because that would hurt like hell.
He knew he was kissing Yuushi badly. Kinda intensely like he did on that first night when he was
scared after Sato, but Gakuto couldn't stop. The more Yuushi didn't kiss him back, the harder Gakuto
kept trying to make this work. It was stupid, but like the laughter, once it started Gakuto really couldn't
stop. He felt kinda like crying again all of a sudden because Yuushi wouldn't kiss him back. It was like
Yuushi was saying he really didn't like him back. That he really didn't love him after all. Thinking that,
Gakuto whimpered pathetically as he held his tears in and tried to kiss the tensai more forcefully and
even harder. Gakuto's throat got tight and burned from the effort.
"You're trembling again. Are you afraid? What's wrong? What are you thinking that has you like this?
Gakuto?" Yuushi's brows came together in study and thought after Gakuto practically smashed his lips
against Yuushi's again, "You're being rather...aggressive..."
"No, I..." Gakuto's voice crackled with raw emotion. His heart was pounding and he was feeling so
desperate it made him kinda feel sick. Like this was his last chance to make this right with Yuushi or
lose him forever. Didn't Yuushi get it? He asked Gakuto to kiss him and now Gakuto was kissing him,
damn it! So what the hell was wrong? Why wasn't this okay? "I want you. I like you. Kiss me, Yuushi!"
Gakuto went to kiss him hard again but Yuushi pulled back and held him away from his mouth.
Annoyed Gakuto said heatedly, "If you really like me then show me! Damn it, kiss me back!"
"I really love you. I'm just trying to understand what has you all worked..." Gakuto took the
opportunity during Yuushi's words to squirm out of his grip and kiss him hard again. Yuushi peeled
Gakuto off of him and winced probably because their front teeth somehow collided painfully. "Gakuto?
I'm right here and I love you. I just want to know what you're thinking. Why are you upset?"
"I'm not! Why do you think I'm...!" Well duh, probably because Gakuto was yelling. He took a breath
to calm down just like his mom always told him to do just like when he got into a big argument with
her. Gakuto's words still came out in a hot rush, "I don't know, okay? I'm stupid and I don't know. I
just...I get like this sometimes, okay? And you should know that! You should know that better than
anyone!"
Gakuto was a step away from demanding that stupid Yuushi leave him alone and storming away. Then
at least he could be the one to leave first, but the fact was Gakuto really didn't want to leave. He just
wanted Yuushi to kiss him. He just wanted things to be and feel like they always did between them.
Everything right now just felt all awful and wrong. "Look," Gakuto heard his voice break and sound
shaky with feelings, "I just want you to kiss me, okay? I need you to. It's stupid. I know it is! I didn't
mean to laugh and I wanna kiss you and I just want you to kiss me back and want me back and you
won't and it feels like you don't like me anymore and I don't want you to go into the other room and go
to sleep without me, okay? I don't want you to go! It's stupid. I'm stupid and I'm sorry that I'm so
stup..."
Rarely did Yuushi ever interrupt him but this time he did, "When you get this way, is it usually after
you feel afraid?"
Yes... But Gakuto never thought about it before so he said, "I don't know. Maybe. I guess." He sighed
annoyed and hated the way he felt. He clutched on to Yuushi tighter in case the damn tensai tried to
stand up to leave.
"Gakuto?" He looked at Yuushi. The tensai was studying him and it was annoying, but he didn't want
Yuushi to stop. He didn't want Yuushi to stop finding things about him interesting to analyze because
maybe when he found everything there was to find, Yuushi would leave. Gakuto held onta him a little
harder.
Yuushi winced probably because Gakuto was holding him so hard. The tensai pursed his lips in thought
and after a moment gently asked, "When you feel this way, what makes you feel better?"
Oh. Well that was easy. Gakuto said it without hesitating, "Sex." Then he realized how bad that
sounded and cursed before he could stop himself. Defensively Gakuto automatically said, "I'm not a
slut. I just mean if I come, it always makes me feel better when I'm stressed."
"No my love, you're not a slut. I've never thought you were," Yuushi said it dismissively, kinda like he
was thinking of something else. "Actually, you're very intelligent. Your EIQ is very high."
Gakuto looked at him warily but didn't let go, "EIQ?"
Yuushi looked more focused as if he just figured out how to map Gakuto's DNA and now everything
made more sense, "Mn. It stands for Emotional Intelligent Quotient. Yours clearly is higher than my
own." Gakuto looked suspiciously at him to see if Yuushi was somehow making fun of him. He
worried that this was all some kinda joke and he was too stupid to understand the punchline, but the
tensai didn't seem to be joking so he let Yuushi continue. "Gakuto, remember the first time when you
stopped talking to me. The night when I became so upset? When I was worried you didn't like me and
you wanted to leave? How agitated I became? And no matter how stupid I knew I was acting, I couldn't
stop?"
Gakuto nodded. He guessed Yuushi back then felt kinda like he did when he was worried Gakuto
would walk out.
Yuushi smiled at him as if Gakuto was doing something amazing instead of that he was acting all crazy
and squeezing him to death. "Your way of handling your feelings is much better, Gakuto. Much
smarter. Brilliant actually. Please don't worry because I promise I am not going anywhere without you.
I won't leave and I'm not going to sleep in the other room without you. I could never leave you. I'm
staying right here, with you. Will you kiss me again? Please? I would love to kiss you back, and I love
you."
Feeling a strange mixture of relieved to hear Yuushi say the words, desperate to not let him go, and so
turned on he felt dizzy, Gakuto moved to kiss him. He moved fast so Yuushi couldn't see the stupid
tears stinging his eyes. This time when his mouth reached Yuushi's, there was no bubble of laughter
between them. There was no pain or smacked teeth or panic that everything somehow was wrong and
he didn't know how to make it right.
It felt like they were melting together in a kiss and everything felt like normal for them. Yuushi's lips
moved exquisitely on his and when Gakuto reached out his tongue to try to part Yuushi's lips, Yuushi's
tongue was already there. Gakuto whimpered as their tongues met and slid together exquisitely to
stroke into each other's mouth. This time, it was a good feeling. It was like joy and pleasure mixed with
that feeling when you get the one thing you really, really want and need from the only person in the
world who can give it to you. Gakuto sighed in relief feeling less and less panic and more and more
pleasure. He whispered between kisses, "Yuushi..."
Yuushi held Gakuto safely in his strong arms and kissed him. At one point Yuushi pulled back and said
like a vow, "I love you..." Then he captured Gakuto's mouth again with his own. It was a good thing
Yuushi kissed him so fast after because what Gakuto almost said back was muffled by their lips and
tongues. It just sounded like a whimper of pleasure. But Gakuto knew. He knew what he felt. He knew
what he almost said. Again. This wasn't just lust after feeling the fear because lust felt better than fear.
This wasn't just liking someone a lot. This wasn't just because Yuushi was fun or because he promised
to keep him safe. This wasn't like anything Gakuto had ever felt for anyone before.
He loved him.
And while it was scary as hell, at the same time, Gakuto never felt anything better.
Inwardly Gakuto cursed to himself. His mom was gonna kill him for falling for another guy. She wasn't
anti-gay or anything, in fact she had several very close gay guy friends, but she was gonna worry. She
was gonna point out all the flaws in this. She was gonna tell Gakuto that they were too young and that
they couldn't possibly know what they wanted. She was gonna worry that they were both guys. She was
gonna probably make things difficult for Yuushi, but in the end she was gonna love the tensai. When
Gakuto thought about that he almost laughed. Because the truth is once Yuushi realized he had to win
over Gakuto's mom, he would romance her just like he romanced Gakuto until he fell. Not even
Gakuto's willful mom was gonna be able to resist the genius in love.
Gakuto cringed at how big a mess that would be and resolved to help Yuushi. Not just for Yuushi's sake
or for his mom's, but for Gakuto's own peace and happiness. He didn't wanna see the two people he
cared most about in the world go to war. Well war for his mom, but Yuushi wouldn't understand. The
tensai would be all confused and hurt. Gakuto quickly plotted how that could help him. Once Gakuto's
mom realized how all alone in the world Yuushi was, she was sure to open her heart at least a little tiny
crack. That was all Gakuto needed because from there, he could squeeze Yuushi in the rest of the way.
After all, just like his dad said when making a sale, all you need is a tiny opening and every no is just a
yes waiting for a good enough salesman to sell it.
That was the nice thing about the tensai. He looked good on paper and would be an easy sale. And
anyway, his mom being mad and worrying wasn't about Yuushi, or them both being guys, or them both
being young, or any of the other objections his mom was gonna have at all. The simple fact was Gakuto
was her favorite and she wanted him to have an easy life. Her dream was that someday Gakuto would
have an ordinary boring normal life where he got married to an ordinary girl and had a boring job and
maybe even a few normal kids. Just like his dad.
There was nothing wrong with that, but it was impossible. And anyway, Gakuto had a feeling that
living the life she had wished for him was never gonna make Gakuto feel quite like this. And now that
he had a taste for things with Yuushi, Gakuto wanted more. He never wanted this to stop.
The tensai could be called a lot of things, but Yuushi was in no way ordinary. Nothing with Yuushi
would ever be completely normal, but in a way, for Gakuto that seemed like one of the best parts.
Yuushi made everything different and better and with the tensai everything seemed fun or at least more
intense and interesting. They were a good pairing. A perfect team. One was strong where the other was
weak. They were balanced. Gakuto could play up front and be himself knowing Yuushi would always
be behind him and have his back. Idly, he wondered how good they would be if they ever seriously
tried to partner up for doubles. It might be more fun that playing singles when everyone else wanted to.
Hell, they might be damn good if Yuushi could ever peel his eyes off Gakuto's ass.
Yuushi pulled back from their kiss as Gakuto was thinking of this. The tensai asked all lovey and
formal, "Gakuto, may I make love to you in my own way?"
Gakuto smiled despite knowing the sneaky tensai was still calling him something other than his name
in his head. Damn sneaky tensai. But he was smiling now even with that because secretly Gakuto really
always liked how Yuushi always checked out his ass. And his legs. And the rest of him. Not that
Gakuto ever told anyone this, but it was true. Gakuto could always count on Yuushi to check him out.
Now he just knew why. It was nice to have something in the world to count on and someone to believe
in.
He could count on Yuushi no matter what. Just like you could count on Atobe to act all conceited but
always have the goods to back it up, on Jiroh to get suddenly excited over nothing but to make the
nothing seem somehow new and interesting, and on how they could always rely on their Coach to have
complete faith in all of them. Their whole was as their coach said made up of strong parts, but the
whole was stronger than the individual pieces.
Silly tensai probably even knew Gakuto secretly liked being checked out by Yuushi all the time, but
that was good too. It was all good because they were a good pairing. Tried, tested, and true.
"Yeah. I wanna. Make love to me, Yuushi." Gakuto's heart started to beat a little faster as he thought
about it. About them really making love. How it would feel. How it would make them both feel.
Gakuto wanted to. Bad. And if they couldn't do it all right now then whatever Yuushi wanted to do,
Gakuto wanted to too. It was all gonna be good, feel good, and be hot. They were good together and
they were hot on their way to becoming great together. Gakuto thought this and pressed his lips softly
to Yuushi's sealing it for them. Because even if he wasn't ready to say the words out loud, he still meant
them from the bottom of his heart and soul. But he could say this. Something he never said to anyone
before. Gakuto kissed Yuushi softly, sweetly and said when he pulled back, "Make me yours tonight,
Yuushi."
Yuushi made a little gasp at the phrase. It wasn't something most people said casually and for Gakuto,
well he knew if he was saying it then Yuushi especially would know Gakuto was serious. He was. He
meant it with his whole heart and the only thing sweeter was knowing how Yuushi was taking pictures
in his head of the moment. Looking moony and touched Yuushi asked softly, "Gakuto?"
"Yeah?" Pulling back, Gakuto gave Yuushi a long look that ended with his sexiest smile. He heard his
voice sound kinda husky with lust and emotions, but he shrugged and tried to act cool, "I just want you,
Yuushi. I don't care what parts you use or don't use. Make us feel good, okay?"
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Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)
Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)
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Yuushi kept his mouth away to Gakuto's disappointment. The tensai kissed his cheek and then over to
Gakuto's ear. Yuushi pulled his arms around him into a tight embrace, but it didn't hurt. It was more like
Yuushi was very serious and how serious was kinda scary for a moment until Yuushi whispered fiercely
like he was vowing every word, "I love you, Mukahi Gakuto. I really and truly love you. The honest
truth is it's different with me because I would rather die than ever hurt you. I'm going to keep you safe
and show you every day how much I love you. I'll do whatever it takes to alleviate all of your fears
until one day they will all be gone. Until one day when what happened to you is only a distant memory.
You will never feel hurt or scared again. From now on, I want you to only know love and happiness. I
love you, Gakuto. I love you so much..."
"Uh...Yuushi?" Gakuto waited until he could get a word in and interrupted because the stupid tensai
was in Yakkity Yuushi mode. He was going off on a tirade and getting himself all choked up. They
didn't need more confessions or tears or bad things. They needed more of the fun stuff. The hot stuff.
The nice comforting kissing stuff at the very least.
"Yes? What? Are you all right? Am I holding you too tight? Are you afraid? I didn't mean to hold you
so firmly..." Yuushi sounded concerned.
Gakuto sighed, "No. I'm fine...and thanks and all...but...well...how long are you gonna hold me like
this? Cause, you're kinda heavy." And it was kinda dull. Nice, sweet, and adorable, sure but also boring.
Especially without the kissing to keep Gakuto's body and brain occupied.
Yuushi sounded like he was smiling, "Hmm? Am I too heavy? I am sorry sweetheart, but I thought I
would hold you just a little longer like this. Gakuto, I'll hold you for as long as it takes."
Gakuto was completely lost. And this had been his stupid idea in the first place! This seriously could
not be the hot making love thing Yuushi wanted to do, was it? He sighed, "As...long as it takes for
what...?"
Sounding calm as if he was talking about something stupid like the weather Yuushi said, "For you to
stop trembling."
"I'm not...?" Actually, he was kinda shaking, but it was more like he was shivering with cold even
though he didn't feel chilled at all. "O...oh. I didn't know I was. Uh...but I don't feel scared or anything.
I mean, I'm turned on and I feel safe and stuff with you so I don't think it's really me doin it. Maybe it's
like nerves or somethin. It just kinda happens I guess, and I don't know how long it's gonna take to
stop. When I'm playin tennis and everyone is watchin me it happens but only to my knees. I just kinda
play and then when I remember about it, it's stopped by then. I think it just goes away on it's own.
Sometimes when I get an idea or think about somethin I shake just my leg like that and then sometimes
I get like that when I have to read in front of class."
He heard Yuushi's smile. It was this tiny clicking noise of his lips moving across his teeth. Dryly Yuushi
said, "Yes. I know."
Of course he did. Gakuto sighed annoyed at himself for shaking like this and still felt kinda bored,
"Well while we're waitin, can we do something else? I mean, it might stop faster if we kiss around and
stuff. So...can we?"
"All right," Yuushi said and sounded all lovey. "Provided this time you kiss me properly and begin the
kiss first."
"What? Properly...? You want me to kiss you first and kiss you good, right?" He was confused. Didn't
he kiss Yuushi a hundred times or more? Hadn't they kissed each other a gazillion times by now? Why
was Yuushi sounding so happy? What was the damn tensai up to?
"Mmhmm." Yuushi hummed as he pulled back from Gakuto's ear slightly. "That would be nice."
Gakuto sighed annoyed and said sounding hostile, "I've kissed you first and I've been kissin you good."
He was bothered by Yuushi asking this since he certainly had kissed the tensai first and they had been
kissing good all night. Really good. Gakuto was enjoying it so what the hell? Wasn't this good enough
for the tensai? What, did Yuushi come down with a sudden case of amnesia or something?
"Mmm..." Yuushi hummed but it seemed like he was agreeing but not really agreeing at the same time.
"Perhaps. Certainly, you've kissed me first and truly, those are some of my most precious memories.
And while yes, you always return my kiss passionately, upon further reflection, it occurs to me that
most of the time when we kiss properly, I begin the kiss..." The damn sneaky tensai didn't seem
bothered by Gakuto feeling more and more annoyed at all.
As if unaware that Gakuto felt beyond annoyed and moving into feeling dangerously enraged, the
tensai kissed Gakuto's forehead and then his right cheek softly in a long, gentle, loving press of his lips.
It was just like when Gakuto kissed Yuushi nice on his own before, although Gakuto had done it on
Yuushi's lips.
Feeling furious now, Gakuto tried to think of the last time he had kissed Yuushi in a way that could be
considered "properly" kissing him. Damn it. Gakuto tried to figure out what the hell kissing properly
meant and couldn't. He didn't wanna ask. Not when Yuushi was being so serious about it. Gakuto didn't
wanna look stupid, especially in front of Yuushi. He guessed it would be kissing Yuushi all romantic or
lovey--good enough to make the dopey tensai speechless and all moony. Gakuto tried to think of the
last time he kissed Yuushi like that and did it first.
Damn it.
Gakuto couldn't remember. He was more angry now than ever.
Seemingly unaware of the danger, Yuushi moved Gakuto's hair in the front around. Yuushi did this
sometimes and it was kinda annoying, but it was something only Yuushi would dare to do to him. The
tensai absently moved Gakuto's bangs into a "V" shape as if thinking of other things. Gakuto usually
hated when Yuushi did this. It reminded him of his widows peak which he tried very hard to hide along
with his scar.
It was annoying. It was sweet. It was loving. It reminded Gakuto he really had no secrets from Yuushi.
And that Yuushi loved him. Really loved him.
Damn it.
Gakuto realized there was nothing he could do to stop Yuushi from annoying and boring him to death,
except to go ahead and kiss the tensai the right and "proper" way. In a sweet hot kiss that took the
tensai's very breath away.
It wasn't as easy as Gakuto thought. Usually when he wanted to kiss, Gakuto just held his lips out to
Yuushi to hint that the tensai should go ahead and kiss him.
Damn. He realized up until now it had pretty much been Yuushi always starting stuff. In fact, except for
that first night at Jiroh's when he had so badly kissed Yuushi while crying, and then later when trying to
get Yuushi to have sex with him, Gakuto really couldn't remember kissing Yuushi first at all. Not like
all hot or anything. Oh. Except there was that one time after he got all sick when he kissed the tensai on
Yuushi's futon just before his mom came to see him. Yuushi kept saying he knew Gakuto didn't feel
well so the tensai probably thought it was from that. He kissed Yuushi first earlier. Lots of times. Did
those count?
Discouraged, Gakuto asked, "I really don't kiss you good first ever?"
The tensai's face softened into a gentle smile. Yuushi was feeling shy but only Gakuto would know it.
Other people who didn't know the tensai would probably think he was just being smug or feeling cocky.
He wasn't though. Yuushi just looked like that sometimes when he was really feeling other things.
Things that mattered. Lovey things that he was embarrassed to talk about. Yuushi rarely spoke without
thinking everything through first, but when he was like this, he was just being open and himself. He
could be like this with Gakuto only. At least that was what Gakuto knew from experience and rumors
and in the end hoped was true.
Slow in his accented drawl and sounding moony because he probably didn't wanna hurt Gakuto's
feelings or something, the tensai said, "I didn't say never. You have kissed me first and...good...I love
how you usually reach to kiss me after you have an orgasm which I always enjoy. I want you to know I
truly treasure each and every kiss you've ever bestowed upon me, and I understand that you're not
really like I am with regards to romantic gestures. I don't want anything to change, Gakuto, I just
thought it would be a nice change this one time." Yuushi stroked his cheek gently, "I was thinking it
would be rather nice to feel wanted by you and physically shown that desire. It isn't an important
request, my love, and I don't mind if we forget it and proceed in our usual manner."
Suddenly Gakuto wanted to kiss him. Really wanted to. He wanted to show Yuushi how he was feeling
for him. Wanted Yuushi to feel wanted and sexy and all that stupid lovey crap the tensai deserved to
feel.
Gakuto really did want to. Really. He coulda sworn he wanted to, but when he went to, maybe it was
nerves or something--although why he would be nervous around the tensai after all this time he had no
idea--but Gakuto moved his face close to Yuushi's and burst out laughing right before he touched
Yuushi's lips with his own.
Maybe it was the moony way Yuushi was looking at him like his one wish in the whole world was
gonna be fulfilled. Maybe it was because they had barely slept and it was late. Maybe it was because
they were both guys and acting all dopey. Maybe because being like this with Yuushi was nice and felt
good but it still made Gakuto feel a little anxious although he couldn't say why. Maybe it was all of
those things combined, but the more times Gakuto tried, the more times he laughed.
And the more times he laughed, the more Yuushi didn't. Which for some reason made Gakuto crack up
even harder. Between fits of laughter and several false starts including the last one where he snorted
just before their lips met, Gakuto wiped tears from his eyes caused by laughing so hard and said,
"Sorry. Sorry, Yuushi. This time I won't laugh. I mean it..."
But then he tried to be serious again, moved his lips to Yuushi's, got close, closer, even closer, then
snorted again, and laughed even harder.
Yuushi just waited. After a while of Gakuto cackling and convulsing with laughter under him, Yuushi
sharply said, "It's okay if you don't want to or cannot."
The tensai's face was all serious and didn't change but Gakuto knew from knowing him, Yuushi was all
hurt. It was just this way the tensai's eyes looked steely and hard like ice, but they were really just a
mask hiding his hurt. Everyone else would think Yuushi was furious, but not Gakuto. Oh Yuushi might
be kinda mad, but there was more to it than just anger. No one else in the world would notice or get that
the anger was just hiding how hurt the tensai was really feeling.
"Yuushi? Please don't be mad. Please? I'm really sorry. I don't know why I keep on laughing, but I
wanna kiss you. I do. It's not that I don't wanna." Gakuto held on to Yuushi a little tighter. He tried to
keep Yuushi from moving away because it felt like the tensai was gonna get offa him. Maybe go to the
other room and go to sleep without him or something.
"I...am not...mad," Yuushi said it very slow and quietly. He tried to sound like he was all fine, but
Gakuto knew he wasn't. "I understand and I told you that it's quite all righ..."
Annoyed, Gakuto kissed him. He did it harder and with more force than he meant to so he pulled back
in the middle of it and said, "I like you, Yuushi. I really like you and I want you and I wanna to kiss
you. I'm sorry I laughed. I'm gonna kiss you again, okay?" Before Yuushi could say anything, Gakuto
trapped the tensai's face in his hands and pressed his lips only on Yuushi's mouth. Gakuto felt very
turned on suddenly and he felt that tingle between his legs along with the wet slidey fluttery feeling in
his belly, but it was more than that. He had this urgent feeling as he pressed his lips to Yuushi's that
maybe if he didn't do this enough or if Yuushi didn't like it that he would walk away.
Gakuto didn't wanna let him go. He couldn't let Yuushi go because that would hurt like hell.
He knew he was kissing Yuushi badly. Kinda intensely like he did on that first night when he was
scared after Sato, but Gakuto couldn't stop. The more Yuushi didn't kiss him back, the harder Gakuto
kept trying to make this work. It was stupid, but like the laughter, once it started Gakuto really couldn't
stop. He felt kinda like crying again all of a sudden because Yuushi wouldn't kiss him back. It was like
Yuushi was saying he really didn't like him back. That he really didn't love him after all. Thinking that,
Gakuto whimpered pathetically as he held his tears in and tried to kiss the tensai more forcefully and
even harder. Gakuto's throat got tight and burned from the effort.
"You're trembling again. Are you afraid? What's wrong? What are you thinking that has you like this?
Gakuto?" Yuushi's brows came together in study and thought after Gakuto practically smashed his lips
against Yuushi's again, "You're being rather...aggressive..."
"No, I..." Gakuto's voice crackled with raw emotion. His heart was pounding and he was feeling so
desperate it made him kinda feel sick. Like this was his last chance to make this right with Yuushi or
lose him forever. Didn't Yuushi get it? He asked Gakuto to kiss him and now Gakuto was kissing him,
damn it! So what the hell was wrong? Why wasn't this okay? "I want you. I like you. Kiss me, Yuushi!"
Gakuto went to kiss him hard again but Yuushi pulled back and held him away from his mouth.
Annoyed Gakuto said heatedly, "If you really like me then show me! Damn it, kiss me back!"
"I really love you. I'm just trying to understand what has you all worked..." Gakuto took the
opportunity during Yuushi's words to squirm out of his grip and kiss him hard again. Yuushi peeled
Gakuto off of him and winced probably because their front teeth somehow collided painfully. "Gakuto?
I'm right here and I love you. I just want to know what you're thinking. Why are you upset?"
"I'm not! Why do you think I'm...!" Well duh, probably because Gakuto was yelling. He took a breath
to calm down just like his mom always told him to do just like when he got into a big argument with
her. Gakuto's words still came out in a hot rush, "I don't know, okay? I'm stupid and I don't know. I
just...I get like this sometimes, okay? And you should know that! You should know that better than
anyone!"
Gakuto was a step away from demanding that stupid Yuushi leave him alone and storming away. Then
at least he could be the one to leave first, but the fact was Gakuto really didn't want to leave. He just
wanted Yuushi to kiss him. He just wanted things to be and feel like they always did between them.
Everything right now just felt all awful and wrong. "Look," Gakuto heard his voice break and sound
shaky with feelings, "I just want you to kiss me, okay? I need you to. It's stupid. I know it is! I didn't
mean to laugh and I wanna kiss you and I just want you to kiss me back and want me back and you
won't and it feels like you don't like me anymore and I don't want you to go into the other room and go
to sleep without me, okay? I don't want you to go! It's stupid. I'm stupid and I'm sorry that I'm so
stup..."
Rarely did Yuushi ever interrupt him but this time he did, "When you get this way, is it usually after
you feel afraid?"
Yes... But Gakuto never thought about it before so he said, "I don't know. Maybe. I guess." He sighed
annoyed and hated the way he felt. He clutched on to Yuushi tighter in case the damn tensai tried to
stand up to leave.
"Gakuto?" He looked at Yuushi. The tensai was studying him and it was annoying, but he didn't want
Yuushi to stop. He didn't want Yuushi to stop finding things about him interesting to analyze because
maybe when he found everything there was to find, Yuushi would leave. Gakuto held onta him a little
harder.
Yuushi winced probably because Gakuto was holding him so hard. The tensai pursed his lips in thought
and after a moment gently asked, "When you feel this way, what makes you feel better?"
Oh. Well that was easy. Gakuto said it without hesitating, "Sex." Then he realized how bad that
sounded and cursed before he could stop himself. Defensively Gakuto automatically said, "I'm not a
slut. I just mean if I come, it always makes me feel better when I'm stressed."
"No my love, you're not a slut. I've never thought you were," Yuushi said it dismissively, kinda like he
was thinking of something else. "Actually, you're very intelligent. Your EIQ is very high."
Gakuto looked at him warily but didn't let go, "EIQ?"
Yuushi looked more focused as if he just figured out how to map Gakuto's DNA and now everything
made more sense, "Mn. It stands for Emotional Intelligent Quotient. Yours clearly is higher than my
own." Gakuto looked suspiciously at him to see if Yuushi was somehow making fun of him. He
worried that this was all some kinda joke and he was too stupid to understand the punchline, but the
tensai didn't seem to be joking so he let Yuushi continue. "Gakuto, remember the first time when you
stopped talking to me. The night when I became so upset? When I was worried you didn't like me and
you wanted to leave? How agitated I became? And no matter how stupid I knew I was acting, I couldn't
stop?"
Gakuto nodded. He guessed Yuushi back then felt kinda like he did when he was worried Gakuto
would walk out.
Yuushi smiled at him as if Gakuto was doing something amazing instead of that he was acting all crazy
and squeezing him to death. "Your way of handling your feelings is much better, Gakuto. Much
smarter. Brilliant actually. Please don't worry because I promise I am not going anywhere without you.
I won't leave and I'm not going to sleep in the other room without you. I could never leave you. I'm
staying right here, with you. Will you kiss me again? Please? I would love to kiss you back, and I love
you."
Feeling a strange mixture of relieved to hear Yuushi say the words, desperate to not let him go, and so
turned on he felt dizzy, Gakuto moved to kiss him. He moved fast so Yuushi couldn't see the stupid
tears stinging his eyes. This time when his mouth reached Yuushi's, there was no bubble of laughter
between them. There was no pain or smacked teeth or panic that everything somehow was wrong and
he didn't know how to make it right.
It felt like they were melting together in a kiss and everything felt like normal for them. Yuushi's lips
moved exquisitely on his and when Gakuto reached out his tongue to try to part Yuushi's lips, Yuushi's
tongue was already there. Gakuto whimpered as their tongues met and slid together exquisitely to
stroke into each other's mouth. This time, it was a good feeling. It was like joy and pleasure mixed with
that feeling when you get the one thing you really, really want and need from the only person in the
world who can give it to you. Gakuto sighed in relief feeling less and less panic and more and more
pleasure. He whispered between kisses, "Yuushi..."
Yuushi held Gakuto safely in his strong arms and kissed him. At one point Yuushi pulled back and said
like a vow, "I love you..." Then he captured Gakuto's mouth again with his own. It was a good thing
Yuushi kissed him so fast after because what Gakuto almost said back was muffled by their lips and
tongues. It just sounded like a whimper of pleasure. But Gakuto knew. He knew what he felt. He knew
what he almost said. Again. This wasn't just lust after feeling the fear because lust felt better than fear.
This wasn't just liking someone a lot. This wasn't just because Yuushi was fun or because he promised
to keep him safe. This wasn't like anything Gakuto had ever felt for anyone before.
He loved him.
And while it was scary as hell, at the same time, Gakuto never felt anything better.
Inwardly Gakuto cursed to himself. His mom was gonna kill him for falling for another guy. She wasn't
anti-gay or anything, in fact she had several very close gay guy friends, but she was gonna worry. She
was gonna point out all the flaws in this. She was gonna tell Gakuto that they were too young and that
they couldn't possibly know what they wanted. She was gonna worry that they were both guys. She was
gonna probably make things difficult for Yuushi, but in the end she was gonna love the tensai. When
Gakuto thought about that he almost laughed. Because the truth is once Yuushi realized he had to win
over Gakuto's mom, he would romance her just like he romanced Gakuto until he fell. Not even
Gakuto's willful mom was gonna be able to resist the genius in love.
Gakuto cringed at how big a mess that would be and resolved to help Yuushi. Not just for Yuushi's sake
or for his mom's, but for Gakuto's own peace and happiness. He didn't wanna see the two people he
cared most about in the world go to war. Well war for his mom, but Yuushi wouldn't understand. The
tensai would be all confused and hurt. Gakuto quickly plotted how that could help him. Once Gakuto's
mom realized how all alone in the world Yuushi was, she was sure to open her heart at least a little tiny
crack. That was all Gakuto needed because from there, he could squeeze Yuushi in the rest of the way.
After all, just like his dad said when making a sale, all you need is a tiny opening and every no is just a
yes waiting for a good enough salesman to sell it.
That was the nice thing about the tensai. He looked good on paper and would be an easy sale. And
anyway, his mom being mad and worrying wasn't about Yuushi, or them both being guys, or them both
being young, or any of the other objections his mom was gonna have at all. The simple fact was Gakuto
was her favorite and she wanted him to have an easy life. Her dream was that someday Gakuto would
have an ordinary boring normal life where he got married to an ordinary girl and had a boring job and
maybe even a few normal kids. Just like his dad.
There was nothing wrong with that, but it was impossible. And anyway, Gakuto had a feeling that
living the life she had wished for him was never gonna make Gakuto feel quite like this. And now that
he had a taste for things with Yuushi, Gakuto wanted more. He never wanted this to stop.
The tensai could be called a lot of things, but Yuushi was in no way ordinary. Nothing with Yuushi
would ever be completely normal, but in a way, for Gakuto that seemed like one of the best parts.
Yuushi made everything different and better and with the tensai everything seemed fun or at least more
intense and interesting. They were a good pairing. A perfect team. One was strong where the other was
weak. They were balanced. Gakuto could play up front and be himself knowing Yuushi would always
be behind him and have his back. Idly, he wondered how good they would be if they ever seriously
tried to partner up for doubles. It might be more fun that playing singles when everyone else wanted to.
Hell, they might be damn good if Yuushi could ever peel his eyes off Gakuto's ass.
Yuushi pulled back from their kiss as Gakuto was thinking of this. The tensai asked all lovey and
formal, "Gakuto, may I make love to you in my own way?"
Gakuto smiled despite knowing the sneaky tensai was still calling him something other than his name
in his head. Damn sneaky tensai. But he was smiling now even with that because secretly Gakuto really
always liked how Yuushi always checked out his ass. And his legs. And the rest of him. Not that
Gakuto ever told anyone this, but it was true. Gakuto could always count on Yuushi to check him out.
Now he just knew why. It was nice to have something in the world to count on and someone to believe
in.
He could count on Yuushi no matter what. Just like you could count on Atobe to act all conceited but
always have the goods to back it up, on Jiroh to get suddenly excited over nothing but to make the
nothing seem somehow new and interesting, and on how they could always rely on their Coach to have
complete faith in all of them. Their whole was as their coach said made up of strong parts, but the
whole was stronger than the individual pieces.
Silly tensai probably even knew Gakuto secretly liked being checked out by Yuushi all the time, but
that was good too. It was all good because they were a good pairing. Tried, tested, and true.
"Yeah. I wanna. Make love to me, Yuushi." Gakuto's heart started to beat a little faster as he thought
about it. About them really making love. How it would feel. How it would make them both feel.
Gakuto wanted to. Bad. And if they couldn't do it all right now then whatever Yuushi wanted to do,
Gakuto wanted to too. It was all gonna be good, feel good, and be hot. They were good together and
they were hot on their way to becoming great together. Gakuto thought this and pressed his lips softly
to Yuushi's sealing it for them. Because even if he wasn't ready to say the words out loud, he still meant
them from the bottom of his heart and soul. But he could say this. Something he never said to anyone
before. Gakuto kissed Yuushi softly, sweetly and said when he pulled back, "Make me yours tonight,
Yuushi."
Yuushi made a little gasp at the phrase. It wasn't something most people said casually and for Gakuto,
well he knew if he was saying it then Yuushi especially would know Gakuto was serious. He was. He
meant it with his whole heart and the only thing sweeter was knowing how Yuushi was taking pictures
in his head of the moment. Looking moony and touched Yuushi asked softly, "Gakuto?"
"Yeah?" Pulling back, Gakuto gave Yuushi a long look that ended with his sexiest smile. He heard his
voice sound kinda husky with lust and emotions, but he shrugged and tried to act cool, "I just want you,
Yuushi. I don't care what parts you use or don't use. Make us feel good, okay?"
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