Princess Mononoke Fan Fiction ❯ A Reason to Let Go ❯ Chapter 3

A Reason to Let Go

by tbossjenn

Warning: There is lemon contained within, but nothing tremendously hardcore. If this bothers you, so be it, but please don't flame me about it. This is the first really lemony thing I've written, so please be kind when you review : - )

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Part 3

Ashitaka and Yakkul plunged into the night forest, and the desperate warrior called out San's name. He heard something whistle past his ear and Yakkul spooked as someone leaped out from the bushes and threw Ashitaka to the ground. Hauling himself to his feet, the young man stood before the demon.

Pointing to the arrow that lay imbedded in a tree trunk, the demon said, "That could have been in your skull. I don't want to kill you, Ashitaka, but I will if you keep protecting the gunwoman."

"How do you know me? Who are you?"

The demon was about to answer, but then he turned and raised his sword to defend himself from San, who had seemingly appeared from out of nowhere. The wolf girl was full of rage, screaming, "Get away from him!"

"I'll kill you!" the demon shouted, counterattacking with his own blade. San was ready for him this time, matching his every move. But then the demon was able to get close enough to grab her by the shoulders and slam her back against a tree. Unconscious, San slumped to the ground. Ashitaka ran over and stood protectively over his wife.

"Get out of the way," the demon growled.

"Never."

Screaming in rage, the demon lunged for San but Ashitaka blocked his way and attacked with his sword.

"Stop opposing me!" the demon shouted. He punched Ashitaka, knocking him down. The young warrior scrambled over to San and covered her with his own body. Closing his eyes, Ashitaka held her close and whispered that he loved her. He cursed himself for not being strong enough to fight the demon alone.

A low growl and an angry cry made Ashitaka look up and see one of San's wolf brothers crouched on top of the demon, pinning the man beneath his paws. The wolf leaned forward to tear the creature's head off, but the demon hit the wolf hard across the muzzle and quickly made his escape. The furious wolf ran after him.

Slowly, Ashitaka loosened his grip on San and spoke quietly to her. "San, are you all right?"

She winced as she sat up too quickly. "I'm fine,"she reassured him, rubbing her head. But then she glared at him and said, "Why did you follow me here? I told you not to do anything stupid!"

"I couldn't let you face him alone again, San," he answered. "I don't want to lose you."

Softening a little, she answered, "I feel the same way, but I'm here to protect you, remember?"

The wolf returned, and said, "That demon is strong, and he moves very quickly. I lost his scent."

San frowned and said, "Lost it? That's impossible, unless there is a stream nearby?"

"No stream, but I picked up the scent of something else - probably a horse. I'm not sure."

Suddenly, San became frantic. "Wait, where's Moro? You didn't leave her alone, did you?"

"Our brother is with her."

"You told the wolves to watch Moro?" Ashitaka asked.

"Of course."

He sighed and replied, "I'm sure Kei's people have had a good scare. Come on, we'd better get back."

San walked over to the tree and pulled out the arrow. "You're lucky to be alive, Ashitaka."

"I'm not the only one," he remarked thoughtfully as they made their way back to the city.

* * *

San and Ashitaka met with Eboshi in her room, and the lady was being examined by anxious healers. "I'm perfectly all right," she insisted, and the men left the room satisfied with her condition.

"Eboshi, what happened when you met the demon?" Ashitaka asked.

"He killed all my guards and left me alive," she answered bluntly.

"Did he say anything to you?"

"He touched my stomach and said, 'After.' What do you suppose that means?"

"I think the demon has spared your baby but will come back for you when it's born."

"Demons aren't merciful," San said. "She should be dead."

"Thank you, San," Eboshi remarked.

"It's the only reason he would have for letting her live," Ashitaka said. "This isn't over."

"As long as my son lives," Eboshi said firmly.

Lord Kei stepped forward and grasped his wife's shoulder. "You'll both be all right, Eboshi. I'll watch over you myself this time."

"I will go after the demon," San said determinedly. "My brothers will go with me."

"San, you're not going without me," Ashitaka replied quietly.

She said nothing to this, but knew there was no stopping him. To the lord she said, "Kei, I want to see my daughter now."

"She's with Yukio. I'll take you to her."

Moro was in a brightly decorated room, playing with Eboshi's young daughter Yukio. Nursemaids stood in the corner, nervously staring at the large white wolf that was guarding the girls. Moro ran up to her parents and said, "Look at the toys!" Her eyes were shining, and the encounter with the demon several days ago seemed to be banished from her mind. San was thankful the girl knew nothing of their present danger.

"Do you like playing with Yukio?" Ashitaka asked.

"Yes."

"She's exactly your age, you know."

"I'm older. She just turned four and I'm almost five!" Moro was outraged that Ashitaka would say such a thing.

San laughed and gave her a hug. Behind them, Yukio was crying for her mother while Kei was doing his best to calm her down. "Moro, time for bed now," San ordered, steeling herself for a fight.

"Can't I stay with Yukio tonight?"

San was about to object, but Ashitaka gently took hold of her shoulders and said, "We'll ask your brothers to stay with them. She'll be fine."

"I don't know ..."

"We will stay with her, San," one of the wolves said. "You need rest." The wolves joined Moro, much to the servants' disappointment. As San and Ashitaka left, Kei was rocking Yukio to sleep.

* * *

San let Ashitaka lead her to his room, grateful for the chance to be alone with her husband that night. He swept her up into his arms and carried her, saying, "There now, isn't this better than walking?" She nestled against him and murmured her agreement.

Once in his room, Ashitaka gently laid her on the bed and kissed her. San instictively put her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Shhh ..." he said. "You have to take it easy, San." Ashitaka opened his dark eyes and looked at her, trailing a finger down her cheek. "Let me do everything," he breathed into her ear. He abruptly got up and walked away, leaving her alone on the bed. San wanted to go after him and drag him back by his hair, but instead she waited impatiently for his return. He came back with a simple red dress. "I know you don't like wearing clothes you haven't made yourself, but I thought you might want to change into something clean tomorrow."

San looked down at her own clothing, worn ragged from the past couple of days. "No, it's fine," she answered gratefully, starting to undress for bed.

Ashitaka stopped her and lifted her hand to his cheek. "Please, San, let me do everything?" he quietly pleaded, his eyes intent on hers. He turned his head slightly to brush a kiss against her palm, and she realized his need to cherish her that night. He had almost lost her to the demon twice in the past several days.

Gazing at her lover, San's breath caught her throat so that she could only whisper, "Yes ..."

Ashitaka sat down behind her, leaning close so that she felt his face touch lightly against the back of her neck. He reached up with deft fingers and first removed the white fur jerkin, pulling it up and over her shoulders. San raised her arms, and when she brought them back down she slowly caressed his face with the back of her hand.

The dress came off next, and he bent his head and kissed her neck while running those gentle hands along the curve of her body. Arching into his touch, San leaned back a little and looked up at him. Ashitaka was beautiful - his skin, his eyes, his dark hair, his lean and muscled body. He was so strong and brave, and San silently thanked him for loving her.

"Oh, San ..." Ashitaka's words were choked, and she saw that he was looking down at the dark purple bruise on her side where the demon had kicked her.

"It's all right, really," she said, not wanting him to stop.

"Did you see a healer?"

"Yes, I saw one in Iron Town. He gave me something to put on it, but I haven't had time."

"Where is it?" He got up, and San really wanted to kill him for leaving her on the bed alone again.

"In my pouch."

Ashitaka came back with a small jar and began to rub the contents into her wounds.

San had been born human, but the years spent being raised by a wolf goddess in the sacred forest of the Shishi Gami had given her the enhanced senses of a wolf. Everyday she thanked the gods for this gift, for it had allowed her to survive in the vibrant but harsh world of the forest.

It also allowed her to completely experience her Ashitaka in ways no human woman could ever imagine.

The first touch sent a warmth through her, and the feel of his hands on her body sent a delicious thrill up her spine. Ashitaka began to hum a song from his village; the song that he knew was her favorite. With a sigh, San closed her eyes and concentrated on his touch. His hands were soft, save for the few calluses that scratched pleasantly against her skin.

Mmmm... so warm ...

The ointment had the light and pleasant smell of crushed herbs and flowers, which soon combined with the musky scent that developed between San and Ashitaka. She breathed it in deeply and it flooded her senses. Flowers and Ashitaka - she could practically taste them now. Her breath quickened and her heart beat faster.

I can almost taste him ... I need to taste him ...

San turned fully around and looked at Ashitaka. He was also breathing heavily and his dark eyes looked wild and hungry. Pulling her husband close, she kissed him deeply and tasted him for real this time. Ashitaka's breath mixed with hers, his tongue pressing hard inside. Oh, gods, and the taste ...

Needing more of him, San's hands searched his chest but found only cloth. When she broke the kiss he cried out with disappointment, and San placed her fingers on his trembling lips to quiet him. "Why don't we get rid of your clothes, love?" Ashitaka nodded and began to wrestle with his shirt as she peeled off his pants. He lifted his hips to help her, and she could smell his lust. Ashitaka overwhelmed her completely, and she wanted more than just a taste of him.

Dark eyes glowed with excitement.

Dark skin was flushed hot.

Powerful mouth drew her to him again.

A desperate sigh and a whispered question, to which her answer would always be "yes."

Ashitaka gently laid her down on the bed and covered her body with his own, careful not to cause pain to her injuries. He claimed her mouth again before descending to her neck and lingering there for a long, careful moment before slowly making his way down lower. San gasped with the renewed knowledge that hands, lips, tongue and body on her skin were far better than just the hands by themselves.

He's so strong...

Lower now ... so good ...

I can feel his heart, he's so alive ...

San took a deep breath and savored the scent that overpowered her. She could still taste him, and she felt that wonderfully hot skin everywhere. They were both ready, and in her mind she silently begged him to take her soon.

San would never get enough of him, and he was everything because he was hers.

Ashitaka paused, and she saw him studying her wounds in anger. He raised his head and there were tears forming in his eyes.

Smoothing the hair out of his sweaty face, San smiled and said, "I'm all right, Ashitaka. I'm all right."

He slowly drew himself up along her body, his flesh lightly brushing against hers in a way that made her body tremble. "I promise you, my love, I will never let anything happen to you or Moro. On my life, I will keep this promise." Ashitaka pulled San into another kiss and then sealed his pledge by entering her.

The heat that had once covered San was now inside her, and she cried out as her lover established a strong and steady rhythm. She didn't care about pain anymore, she only wanted Ashitaka. She needed to feel him pressed against her - to hell with being gentle. Grazing his neck with her teeth, San pushed back against him and whispered that she wanted more. Ashitaka obeyed, satisfied she wouldn't break in his arms. He quickened his pace and his breath came out in ragged gasps. San clasped his shoulders, her hands slipping a little from the sweat, and burrowed her face into his chest as she felt him move deep inside her.

He tastes so good ... and his scent ...

It seemed to last forever, but then all too quickly San was completely consumed by Ashitaka's heat. Her body clamped onto his, holding him in a desperate attempt to keep the two of them joined together. Ashitaka let out a strangled sob, and soon afterwards San felt him shudder with his own release. He lay down close beside San and gazed upon her with adoring eyes. "I love you," he murmured, resting his head gently against her shoulder and closing his eyes.

"I love you, my Ashitaka," San whispered in return, kissing his forehead. She fell asleep listening to the sound of his soft breathing and savoring the feel of his arms around her.

* * *

San smelled blood, it was everywhere and it was all she could smell. Oh gods, where's Ashitaka?! Where's Moro?! She stumbling around the streets of Taira, and no one had been left alive. Blood in the streets, blood on the walls ...

She stopped. Yukio lay cold and dead at her feet - her eyes staring obscenely up from a head that sat on a broken neck.

Like a bird ...

"Ashitaka! Moro!" San was screaming now, running into houses to search for them. Blood had never bothered her before. She had liked blood before.

Why was she alive? She couldn't be the only one alive. There had to be someone else - Ashitaka and Moro had to be there somewhere.

Lord Kei lay on the ground beside his grazing horse, one foot hanging in a stirrup and a hand limply gripping his sword.

San smelled something else now: fear. Fear had thrilled her once - the fear of her prey. These people had been terrified. And then she smelled the scent that belonged to her Ashitaka. She followed it across the courtyard and into the rooms that housed the Lady Eboshi.

Eboshi was propped up against the wall, and her throat had been cut. Her one hand rested on her dead belly.

San stood still for a moment, staring at the woman who had long been her enemy. Eboshi was still her enemy, wasn't she? But then she caught Ashitaka's scent, and she slowly turned to see her love laying in a crumpled heap on the floor. His arms were around Moro.

San sank to her knees, crying in anguish. She had failed them ...

"Mother?" Moro was alive - she sat up and looked at her mother with her dark eyes still bright, but not with innocence.

"Oh, Moro!" The girl got up, and San sobbed when she saw the blood that was caked against the side of her daughter's head.

"Why did you let the bad man kill me, Mother?" Moro's voice was harsh as she stood up. Ashitaka's arm fell limply to the floor. "Why did you let him kill Father?"

"I ... I ..."

"How could you do this to us?!"

San gasped as she woke up from her nightmare - she had curled herself into a tight little ball and she was sweating. Sitting up, she took deep breaths and quickly looked at Ashitaka, who was asleep. He's still alive, she thought with relief. San got dressed and went to check on Moro, who slept soundly with her new friend Yukio. San had planned to leave her daughter with Kei and Eboshi, but she was now beginning to rethink this decision ...

* * *

The next morning, Ashitaka readied their supplies as San waited for her brothers to return. The wolves had gone in search of the scent they needed to track the demon. The wolf girl felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to see Eboshi standing behind her.

"I wanted to see the two of you off," the lady said. "We're both very grateful for what you're doing. I'm very grateful."

"The demon has also threatened our family," San replied softly. "I will not let him live."

The wolves ran up and one of them said, "San, we have found the scent. We will start not far from where you attacked the demon."

"Right," answered the young woman, pulling on her headdress. She wore the red dress Ashitaka had given her the night before, and she knew the color was not a coincidence. San smiled at this thought.

Moro ran up and Ashitaka gave her a hug and a kiss before getting on Yakkul. Then San held the girl close, afraid to let her go. "Mother, you're squeezing too tight."

"I'm sorry, sweet. We'll back for you soon, I promise."

"I'll play with Yukio, it'll be all right," the little girl replied, looking as if she wished she were already in that room full of toys. San slowly backed away from her and Moro turned and ran over to Yukio, who was overjoyed to see her mother again. But then Moro looked at San, and the wolf girl again saw the nightmare image of her daughter with her skull smashed in.

This time the dead girl was smiling happily at her and waving.

San quickly walked over to Moro and picked her up, carrying her over to her wolf brother.

"San, what are you doing?" Eboshi asked. "I thought she was staying here!"

"I'm not leaving her," San said firmly, putting the surprised little girl on the wolf.

Ashitaka rode up and said, "We can't take her with us, it's too dangerous! Leave her with Eboshi!" He was angry and frightened. San understood this but he hadn't seen her nightmare, and they had no way of knowing if the demon had actually left Taira.

Whipping around to face Ashitaka, she shouted, "I'm not leaving her here!" Then she jumped onto her brother's back behind Moro and the wolves ran out the city gate and towards the forest that lay beyond.

Ashitaka had no choice but to follow.

to be continued