Princess Mononoke Fan Fiction ❯ Waking Up ❯ ... Comes a Distant Lullaby ... ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Waking Up IV: ... Comes a Distant Lullaby ...
by tbossjenn

Breathing in the crisp air, Eboshi sighed in contentment. She and her company from Iron Town had begun their journey to gather a new army, and she realized that even after everything she had accomplished, battle was what she loved most. Of course, this was not a conquest so she could not take much pleasure from it. But the act of assembling an army was nonetheless thrilling. Eboshi had become bored in Iron Town, for examining iron and making money were not as exciting as she had expected. She had to admit that though San her wolves had been a nuisance, they had also been a fun diversion. Since the peace had started, there had been nothing to do but sit around, and the trips for rice were the only things she seemed to look forward to anymore. Gonza had begged her to stay in town and let him buy the army, but Eboshi couldn't pass up this chance for a little adventure. Besides, Gonza didn't have the brains to pull it off. This business required finesse, not red-faced bluster.
The lady was well known for her cleverness, and her father had often said it was a shame she wasn't a man. She wasn't disappointed; she loved being a woman. It was the traditional role of women in society that was the problem, and she had dedicated her life to changing it. She was very proud of her girls because they worked hard to make the iron. Though the men still disapproved of brothel girls pumping the bellows, they all knew their business would fall apart without the women. Eboshi found it amusing that men should think they were better than women just because they have a little something extra between their legs. Of course, she realized that she shouldn't have expected the emperor to turn Lord Osano away. No doubt the emperor knew that even if Osano couldn't keep his promise to deliver the ultimate weapon, he could still compensate with a large portion of Eboshi's iron.
Eboshi glanced back over her shoulder at San and the wolves, who had all taken position behind the humans. The Princess Mononoke had said very little since they began their trip; she spoke to Eboshi and the others only when she had to and spent almost all of her time with her brothers. The girl said nothing to Ashitaka, and this obviously caused him great pain. The young man had become even more withdrawn than usual.
The company entered the town of Taira near sundown, and the villagers dropped what they were doing to get a closer look at the strange young man on the red elk. Eboshi shook her head and thought, He sure can draw a crowd. Perhaps I should have used him instead of the wolf girl. Lord Kei walked towards her with his arms outstretched, shouting with great fanfare, "My Lady Eboshi, I welcome you to Taira! We are greatly honored by your presence!" A great smile stretched across his face. A rather nice-looking man in his prime, he was older than Eboshi by about ten years. When she had been 13, her father planned on marrying her to him. Eboshi had refused, which horrified her father but brought great amusement to Kei. He had a strange sense of humor, and had convinced her father to forgive her rather than have her executed on the spot. The lady and the warrior had remained in touch through letters and occasional meetings, and he still didn't take her seriously even after all she had accomplished. She was merely amusing to him, and it secretly burned her up inside.
"My Lord Kei, it is a great honor to be here," she said, smiling in spite of herself.
"What happened to your arm, my dear?" he asked as she approached.
He's concerned, how touching, she thought. "It's a long story, but I'm all right. You understand why I'm here?"
"Oh yes!" he laughed. "My little Eboshi is in a war. Of course I'll help. Who are you fighting?"
"Lord Osano - along with the emperor's army."
Kei stopped and looked at her, his expression deadly serious. "You've declared war on the emperor?"
"He's declared war on me, actually."
"And you want my help?" he shook his head and said, "We'll talk about this tonight. For now, I'll let you refresh yourself from your journey."
A servant showed Eboshi to a spacious room within Kei's house, while the rest of her company was to camp outside. A hooded figure soon entered the room, and the lady dismissed the servants.
Removing the hood, San asked, "Why did you send for me? What do you want?"
"I needed to give you this," Eboshi replied, tossing her a bright bundle.
"What is it?"
"Your costume. You are to wear it tonight when I present you to Lord Kei."
Looking at the garment in distaste, San said, "What am I supposed to be, some kind of flower princess?"
"Kei will be expecting a glorious apparition, not some scruffy girl in animal skins."
The wolf girl growled and took a step forward, but the lady just smiled. "Trust me on this one. By the way, what happened between you and Ashitaka, if you don't mind my asking?"
"I do mind."
"Well, seeing how Toki has been left in charge of the town and I'm the only other woman here, then perhaps it would help to discuss it with me. I doubt you talk to those wolves about this sort of thing."
"Ashitaka and I are no longer together and never will be again. The rest is none of your concern."
"Never is a long time, isn't it?" Eboshi said thoughtfully. "A pity that such a lovely young man should go to waste. I'm sure you wouldn't mind if one of my girls manages to catch him. They're all in love with Ashitaka."
"He's free to do as he pleases."
She certainly speaks bravely enough, Eboshi thought. "I'm willing to bet that he's of noble blood. If I were to marry him, we'd have fine children to inherit Iron Town." As she said this, she studied San's reaction. The girl said nothing, but Eboshi was sure she had seen San visibly bristle against her words. "Anyway, we have more important matters at hand than marriage. Go get some sleep; I'll be by later to help you prepare."
* * *
The sun was so warm, and San struggled to open her eyes despite the temptation to fall back asleep. Looking at the young man who slept beside her, she smiled at the sound of his soft, deep breathing. After a swim in the lake, the two of them had lain down in the tall grass to dry in the sun. Shading her eyes, she saw that it was now well into the late afternoon. San snuggled back down against her love and laid her head on his chest. He was so full of life, even when he slept. There had been many nights in which she woke and merely gazed at that handsome face. She savored the sounds of his heartbeat and took in his scent. San hated to wake Ashitaka up, for he looked so lovely like this. But then his eyes and the way he looked at her were even lovelier. Leaning close to his ear, she said, "Ashitaka, it's time to wake up." He stirred and mumbled something, his face grimacing at the sudden disturbance. San reached over and kissed his firm lips, her fingers stroking his cheek. Ashitaka soon responded in kind by turning and wrapping his arms around her.
His dark eyes opened. "You let me fall asleep."
She nuzzled his neck, saying, "You caught me. What do you plan to do with me?"
Ashitaka chuckled softly. "Hmm. I think I'll punish you terribly."
"Oh my. Should I be frightened?"
"Of course you should!" he said with false bravado. "I am Ashitaka the warrior! I come from lands far to the east! I -" San quickly silenced him with another kiss. "You always know what to say," he whispered.
"I try. You know, we really should be getting back."
"Why?" he groaned, rolling onto his back and pulling San on top of him. He held her tightly, as if he wanted to hold onto her forever. "Aren't you happy where we are now? This is the only place I ever want to be."
She laughed, saying, "So we should stay here forever, just as we are now?"
"Yes!"
"And what do we do when winter comes?"
"I'll keep you warm."
Ashitaka's arms loosened, suggesting he was finally satisfied that she was actually there and would never leave him. San pressed her cheek once more against his chest, and his hand reached up and gently caressed her hair. "It would be nice just to stay here," she said. "But it's time to go back, love."
He sighed and sat up, still holding her close against him. Resting his head on her shoulder, he asked, "We can continue this at home, then?" San giggled and said yes. Ashitaka touched the crystal dagger she always wore, then they stood up. He whistled for Yakul, who stood grazing a few feet away. He walked towards the elk, but San found that she couldn't follow him. She couldn't move.
"Ashitaka!"
He leaped onto Yakul and rode off.
"Ashitaka!"

San awoke in her tent cold and alone. She had somehow managed to wriggle out of the bearskin blanket, and she pulled it tightly around her body. She desperately clung to the dream before it could fade away. She remembered that day - it had been at the very end of summer before the cold weather set in. The sun had been warm, the grass soft, and the crystal dagger had glittered in the sunlight ...
The dagger. San quickly jumped up and grabbed her pouch, dumping the contents until she found it. After she had left Ashitaka she had stopped wearing it to show him she now rejected his love. Nevertheless, she couldn't bear to part with it even though she knew she should give it back. San now put it around her neck and remembered that special day that had worked its way into her dreams. Everything about him had felt so good, and he had truly loved her. She had never experienced such love until he came. Moro and the wolf tribe loved her, of course, but that was different than the love two humans could share. And now it was gone - destroyed by Ashitaka. San was back with her wolf family, but for some reason it was not the same as it had been before. Her brothers had casually offered to kill him for her, but she was so horrified by the suggestion that she refused to talk to them for days. All she could think about was: Ashitaka's missing, Ashitaka's gone ... He will be with someone else and he'll hate me and forget me. She was a fool for thinking this way, for it was Ashitaka who had hurt her and she should know better than to go crawling back to him like a dog. But despite everything that had passed between them, San found herself wanting him; aching for him. Was this what it was to have human feelings? San desperately wanted to rid herself of them. Then the pain she saw in Ashitaka's eyes whenever he looked at her wouldn't hurt her anymore.
San rolled over and rubbed her eyes. She supposed Eboshi would come soon to dress her up and show her off in front of that lord. Everyone had been surprised when San had agreed to the lady's plan, especially San. Despite everyone's attempts to convince her, in the end she had decided on her own that she had no choice but to help Eboshi. She still hated her, but there was no other way. With no gods to protect the forest, this emperor man could easily wipe it out. San had never left home before, and she had been entranced by the new and strange lands they passed through. Upon arriving in this town, Eboshi had told her to hide her wolves and cover herself in a plain cloak and mask. The lady said it was important that no one be aware of San's presence until she appeared at Kei's banquet. Eboshi's plan to dazzle the lord seemed foolish to San, but the lady insisted. The girl resented taking orders from her, and Eboshi seemed to take pleasure from this. And now that damned woman wanted to marry her Ashitaka ...
No. He was no longer her Ashitaka. San had freed him to choose another for his wife; but she had not thought that Eboshi would want him. "Damn her!" she muttered.
As if she had been summoned, Eboshi stuck her head in the tent. "Come with me now, San, it will be easier to prepare you in my room."
In the lady's quarters, San soon found herself draped in the brightest kimono she had ever seen and Eboshi was applying something white to her face. "What's that for?"
"It's makeup; it's mainly used for the theater but it will serve our purpose well. After all, you are about to put on a performance."
"If this man is a friend of yours, why do you need me? He should just give you the army."
"It doesn't work that way. Kei is not a fool; he will not enter a war unless he thinks he sure to win. We must make him believe the gods are on his side."
"I still think this is a stupid plan."
"Of course you do. Now hold still." Eboshi stood back to admire her work. "Wonderful! Look in the mirror."
San walked cautiously to the mirror and couldn't believe her eyes. She looked ridiculous and she said so.
Eboshi was disgusted. "You just don't know anything about fashion. I'll have you know that this is the finest and most expensive kimono I own. I was afraid those horrid tattoos would ruin the makeup, but they actually seem to complement your face. You look very splendid, San. If this doesn't convince Kei, then nothing will."

* * *
Ashitaka was bored. Out of everyone in her company, the lady had chosen only him to attend the banquet. Gonza had been insulted and upset. Seeing how Eboshi had won San's cooperation, it was obvious that the lady didn't need him for the time being. So why was he here? The banquet had begun in Lord Kei's great hall, and Eboshi and Kei were chatting about something but they were sitting too far away for him to hear. He looked around and met the bashful gazes of some young girls - Kei's nieces or something. Ashitaka briefly wondered if Eboshi had let on that he was unmarried. San was not there, and though he knew what Eboshi had mind for her that evening he still wasn't sure what to expect. It was then that he heard the howling.
"That sounded close ..."
"What was that ?"
Kei's guests looked at each other uneasily, and suddenly two large white wolves burst into the hall. Everyone screamed, except for Eboshi and Ashitaka. Growling, the wolves walked forward in long, confident strides. They could easily kill every one of the humans within minutes if they wanted to. Ashitaka knew this full well, and he figured Lady Eboshi also knew but had chosen to ignore it.
Then a small, ethereal figure in brilliant red and gold entered, and Ashitaka himself would have sworn she was a ghost had he not recognized the mask and headdress. She walked forward with calm grace, and the wolves turned away from Kei's guests and ran snarling towards her at full tilt.
"Watch out, my lady!" a man cried. "They'll kill you!"
"It's all right," she said. She approached the wolves without fear, and they slowed down and stopped before her. The girl raised a hand, and after sniffing it for a few moments the wolves began to rub themselves affectionately against her. The crowd gasped in amazement, but Ashitaka paid no attention to them. His eyes were glued to the girl.
The glowing girl walked forward until she stood before Lord Kei. "I am the Princess Mononoke!" she said, her strong voice resounding against the town walls. "My Lord Kei, the gods have given their blessings upon Lady Eboshi and Iron Town. We support them in their cause against your emperor. I ask you now to help my dear lady in her time of need. The gods are with her."
"Spirit, please remove your mask so that I may see the face beneath it!" Kei called.
She hesitated, then lifted up the mask. Underneath, her blue eyes and red tattoos blazed in contrast to the white makeup. Never had Ashitaka seen anything so magnificent, and his heart ached as he thought, This is my San, who is so beautiful no matter how much she tries to deny it. And I'll never have her back again.
"The Princess Mononoke is indeed very beautiful. Thank you for gracing my town with your presence, lovely spirit. I will consider this most important matter."
She nodded, bowed slightly to the lord and to Lady Eboshi, then jumped onto one of the wolves. They leaped away into the darkness.
Ashitaka looked over to Eboshi and Kei, and the lady's trick must have worked for she and Kei were talking in earnest. He left the banquet to look for San, and he found her with her wolf brothers. She still wore the brightly colored kimono, but had wiped off the face paint.
"Don't laugh, it's not funny!" she was saying to them. "That was embarrassing!" She then caught his scent and glared at him. "What do you want?"
"I thought you were incredible," Ashitaka said quietly.
For a moment she said nothing, then coldly answered, "Well, I'm glad you thought so." She turned away.
"Why won't you talk to me anymore?" he asked.
She looked at him and replied, "I didn't realize we had anything more to say to each other."
Her words cut his heart like a dull blade. "I can still be your friend, can't I? That's how it started for us."
San shook her head and said, "No. After all this is over I will never again have anything to do with humans. I'm sorry, Ashitaka." She jumped onto the back of one of her brothers, and they ran off together into the night.
"So am I," he whispered sadly.
* * *
Kei's guests gasped and whispered that they had been visited by spirits and ghosts, and that this Lady Eboshi was blessed.
"Did you see that girl? The wolves could have torn her apart but she was in command of them!"
"She was no girl. She was a spirit of some kind."
"Maybe she was the Shishi Gami ... the spirit of life and death."
"The gods are with the Lady Eboshi."
Eboshi smiled as she caught part of their conversations, but when she turned to Lord Kei she saw that he merely had a sardonic look on his face.
"That was quite impressive, Eboshi," he said.
"I hope it was enough to impress you, my lord. Now that you see I have the blessing of the gods, can you now see fit to give me an army? I will compensate you, of course."
"The princess is very beautiful. If you give her to me, then you can have the army."
Eboshi was angry. "I'm sorry, but that's impossible. She's a spirit, not a human. She would never allow herself to be given away like that."
"Oh yes. Yes, of course. She's a spirit. What was I thinking?" he said, grinning at her.
Eboshi looked at him sharply. Damn him, he's mocking me, she thought. "What will it take, Kei?"
"I will give you my advice. Stop this foolishness and agree to Osano's terms. Perhaps he'll still settle for half the iron, perhaps he'll want more. Either way, it's better than losing everything."
"I didn't ask for your advice; I asked for an army. Now what will it take?" she answered furiously.
"Will you listen to me? The emperor still has the power to execute you for treason," Kei said. "It's a big, bad world out there, little Eboshi, and more often than not it is working against you."
"So you think I should just hand over my iron works to Osano."
"I think you should choose your battles with more care. If you lose your town then you can at least move on to something else. If you fight and lose your life, then it's over."
"I will not give my town to those scavengers. You don't know how much I've sacrificed; how much pain we've all endured." She didn't notice Kei watching her closely as she rubbed the place where Moro had bitten off her arm.
"Eboshi, I know you've based your every action on proving me wrong -"
"Oh, you do love to think so, don't you?" she snapped.
"I'm not wrong this time and you know it," he continued. "You may defeat Osano's army, but all the emperor needs to do is write a simple order on a scrap of paper and you're done for."
"I won't let that happen."
"Then what about your people? Have you told them they're about to go on a suicide mission?"
"It's not like that. We have the blessing of the spirits."
"Don't try that on me," Kei said. "I know better. You may be able to fool a bunch of brothel girls and ox-drivers with your pretty magician, but not me. Do these people really know what they're getting into?"
"They don't need to know," Eboshi answered. "They're loyal. They will do anything for me and the town."
"And you repay that loyalty by sending them to die."
"You would do the same and you know it."
"Yes, but I didn't think that you could do it, Eboshi."
She turned to him, and there was such respect in his eyes that she could scarcely believe he was the same person who had scoffed at every one of her successful campaigns. "Why not?" she asked.
"Because I've seen you with them, and I've seen you with those lepers. You have a tender soul despite that ambition of yours."
"I wouldn't ask them to risk so much if I didn't truly think we had a chance. We do have a chance, Kei."
He looked away from her. "All right, Eboshi. You may have your army."
She was surprised. "You were winning the argument, and you're still going to help me?"
Lord Kei gave a hearty laugh. "Was I winning? The little Eboshi I know would never concede an argument, not even with her dying breath." He became serious again and said, "Yes, I'll help you. But I expect to be paid, of course."
"Of course. But there's something else I need from you."
"What is it?" he asked warily.
"I brought a young man with me - a warrior. I'm going to send him to the emperor with a message."
"And I gather you need my name."
She sighed. "As much as I hate to say it; your name will bear more weight than mine. Will you do this for me?"
"I'm already giving you an army. How much harm can there be in officially signing my death warrant?"
Eboshi smiled. "Oh, come now. It's not as bad as all that."
* * *
In the following week, Eboshi and her company made special trips to the small villages that lay beyond the borders of Lord Kei's lands. It was in these places she had more success in convincing people that San was a goddess. The villagers were simple and more superstitious, and many went so far as to worship the Princess Mononoke; much to Eboshi's annoyance. But the lady reasoned that the important thing was they believed her and were willing to send their men into battle against their emperor. For a hefty price, of course. After all, these people were not complete fools. Eboshi was beginning to think it would be cheaper to simply give up Iron Town. Though the farmers were not the seasoned warriors of Kei's army, she would need to fling as many bodies as she could at Lord Osano. After his soldiers were worn down, then she would unleash Kei's men. She would make sure that the villages were amply compensated for.
* * *
They were finally on their way back to Taira after days of travelling from one village to the next. Ashitaka had to admit that Eboshi was impressive when it came to war. Still, he was not looking forward to the task at hand. "Wait, Yakul." There was San, kneeling by a pond and drinking water out of the palm of her hand. Ashitaka slid off the red elk and approached her, offering his bowl.
San knocked it away. "I don't need it."
"Take it," he replied softly.
"Fine!" She grabbed it and filled it with water. Flopping on the ground, she drank while glaring at him over the rim of the bowl.
"Is that the behavior of a goddess?" Ashitaka asked, but she did not smile. He absently dipped his fingers into the pond, then immediately withdrew them. "The water is so cold. It must be beautiful in the summer, though."
San glanced at the pond. "Yes, it's cold."
Ashitaka took a deep breath. "San, I betrayed you and I was wrong. After this is over you'll probably go away and never talk to me again, but I need you to know that I'm sorry. It doesn't change anything between us, I know that. But..." He looked helplessly at her for a moment. She stared coldly back at him. "Anyway, I just needed you to know." He got up and walked away.
"The crystal dagger - who did it belong to?"
He turned, and she now stood before him looking suddenly vulnerable.
"It belonged to a girl in my village named Kaya. We were very close; she was like a sister. The elders had planned for us to marry someday. But then I got the demon mark, and on the night I left she gave me the dagger for luck."
"Do you wish you had married her?"
"I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed home. But I don't regret defending my village, and I could never regret falling in love with you. You see, Kaya and I didn't have what you and I shared." It pained him to speak of their love like it was already long-dead.
"Thank you for telling me. And thank you for the bowl." She held it out to him, and he briefly touched her fingers as he took it from her.
San began to leave, and he said, "I have something to tell you. I ..." She turned, and he faltered. "Eboshi has given me an important mission. I am to go to the emperor with a message."
She looked shaken, then angry. "The emperor is dangerous; he's our enemy and she's sending you to him?"
"Eboshi wants me to convince him that she possesses no weapon that may help him against the shoguns."
"Don't go, Ashitaka. She's just using you, like she's using me. Can't you see that?"
"I've already decided to go. I think I might really be able to help."
San glared at him. "Fine! Throw your life away! I don't care, anyway!" She stalked away, and Ashitaka cursed himself. Why did he tell her? He had already known that she wouldn't understand.
* * *
It was early morning when Ashitaka set out from Taira with Eboshi's message. He untied Yakul and patted his friend's neck affectionately. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and it was San.
"What are you doing here?" he asked softly.
"I didn't want you to leave with anger between us. No matter what's happened, I still care for you." The hate and bitterness were gone, and her face betrayed a turmoil of emotions. Ashitaka couldn't resist. He touched her cheek, and she ducked her head away. "No! ... please ..."
He backed away. "I'm sorry."
"Here, take this." She pressed something hard into his hand, and he saw it was the crystal dagger.
Ashitaka looked at her in surprise. "I thought you had gotten rid of this."
"I ... I kept it. I want you to take it. It brought you luck before, and I hope it will again."
He smiled. "Thank you, San; this means a lot to me."
As San watched, he leaped onto Yakul and rode off.

to be continued

Note: Eboshi's plan to pass San off as a goddess to get soldiers isn't as far-fetched as it may sound. In ancient times, armies would jump into wars solely on the belief that their gods were fighting for them and would help them win. War gods were among the most highly revered in many cultures. However, I admit that I don't know if this rings true with Japanese culture and religion. Please remember that this is just a harmless fanfic and is not meant to be an accurate retelling of Japanese history. By the way, I should be wrapping this series up in the next story, so stay tuned.