Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ The Arashisenken... ( Chapter 102 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

The Bartender at the Lucky Orb Bar and Grill was calmly polishing a mug when one of his favorite patrons entered the establishment. Itsuke was a regular kind of guy, the type who never drank too much or caused anyone any problems, a "social drinker" by Japanese standards, and not prone to any extravagant forms of behavior, which was why the Bartender decided to caution him against asking the first question that he knew Itsuke would ask in another moment.

It began when Itsuke's eyes drifted down to the other end of the bar and took in the only other paying customer currently present. The Bartender saw the look of surprise in his customer's eyes, waited for Itsuke to open his mouth in an attempt to articulate his question, and promptly said, "Don't."

"What?" Itsuke looked at the Bartender, then at the other customer.

"What you were going to ask," the Bartender calmly explained, "Don't say it or you'll regret it."

"But…"

"Like I said, drop it."

"But I don't…"

"I know, but it's in the interest of your health that you don't say it."

"Don't say what?" Itsuke frowned, "You've got a damned…"

"Paying customer," the Bartender replied, "Always pays in cash and he tips heavy. That's all that matters to me."

"But he's a…"

"Just drop it," the Bartender warned, "He's kind of sensitive about some things, and he doesn't like people who ask too many questions."

Itsuke frowned, "I don't see why I should have to be worried about a damned dirty…"

"Joke?" the Bartender asked helpfully, "Because if you finished that statement, I wouldn't want to be held accountable for the consequences."

"Consequences?" Itsuke repeated.

"Of you having your arms ripped out of their sockets," the Bartender replied, "He's been known to do that, and beat people's heads into the floor like tent pegs. He's a lot stronger than he looks, and he doesn't like it when folks start calling him names or make dispiriting comments about him."

"Oh…" Itsuke turned a nervous look at the other patron and said, "No hard feelings, eh?"

"Ook."

"Another round?" the Bartender interpreted, and placed a bottle on the counter, then slid it along the surface where it was casually intercepted by a brown prehensile hand whose fingers were unusually long and tapering and definitely not human.

The other patron in the bar calmly brought the top of the bottle up to his lips and used his teeth to remove the cap, then poured himself a drink as though it were bottled tea that he was hoping to sample.

Itsuke studied the creature as it took a long sip from its glass then shook his head and said, "I've been living in this prefecture too long…it's about time me and the misses thought about moving."

"Tell me about it," the Bartender replied, then calmly picked up another mug and began to clean it.

Mousse had listened to the exchange with listless energy, not feeling any serious connection to the conversation at the other end of the bar (of course, if that fool had said the dreaded word "Ape," then Mousse would have had to pound his face in…just for the principle of the thing). In truth, his mind was on far more esoteric matters…such as committing to memory all of the things that he had so far been able to learn from long-distance observations of Saotome. A week of training had given Mousse fresh insight into a new way of doing combat with an opponent in a very different manner of training than was normally used by the Amazons of Jusenkyo. It was not so much what Ranma had learned that was of interest to Mousse, however…it was the way in which Saotome applied his training…and the other two boys who trained with him. It had started the wheels to turn in Mousse's head as he thought through the implications, so rather than try and copy the Senken maneuvers that he had observed, he was on the threshold of evolving his very own system.

The idea had come to Mousse once he had fathomed the method by which Ranma could make himself invisible with the Umisenken. Erasing one's own traces made you less noticeable to an enemy and confused their senses long enough to give you the edge for plotting an attack. The problem with this was that it still left a thin margin for detection, and any margin that could betray an attack might still be substantial when it came to dealing with a quick-witted and very vast-reacting antagonist. What he needed was a means of masking his attacks altogether, which was where he hit upon a thought of pure inspiration.

The secret came when Mousse had thought disparagingly about his eyesight and how hard it was for him to focus on anything at a close range, the reason why he had preferred the long-distance attacks of Hidden Weapons. Without his glasses, objects at close range became a blurry mess with one thing just as indistinguishable from another. People could see him clearly but he could not see other people, which had always given them the advantage at close quarters. What he had needed was a way to make himself a blur before their eyes while sharpening his own focus so that he could find what he wanted and deal with it in a more effective manner. That was when he considered the mindset needed for the Umisenken and devised a way by which to apply the same principles, and that suggested to him an entire new way of doing Blind Fighting.

The elation that he felt over having devised through practice and refinement this very technique was short-lived, however, when he next contemplated the nature of the attacks that he would use…only by now he was no longer thinking of using them against Perfume but rather Kurumi, which had surprised him in a sobering minute. Now he was trying to rediscover his focus, to remember just why he had started to clash with the short haired little speedster. Everything was so confusing and complicated all of a sudden, and his simple quest to liberate Perfume from her marriage to Kuonji had turned into something else, all because of the interference of an annoying little sprite who could see his normal attacks coming as though they were in slow motion. Even his extraordinary powers of denial were taxed beyond credulity when he realized that his new combat methods were geared against her far more than they were against his original quarry.

Just then he heard the door to the bar open once again, and by force of habit he turned a glance past his shoulder to see who it might be who was now entering the tavern. What he saw out of the corner of one eye got his reddish anthropoid eyebrows to rise in amazement, for in a great many respects it was like looking into his own reflection.

"Another one?" Itsuke asked as he, too, took stock of the new arrival.

"Just keep drinking and don't say anything," the Bartender warned, just causally continuing to clean another mug as if this sort of thing was only to be expected.

The red-furred figure was noticeably older than Mousse's own cursed form, with far more gray in the fur and a sober, almost wizened expression. He seemed to be taking stock of Mousse before he loped up to the bar on both stubby legs and his long-armed knuckles, then he climbed into the stool beside Mousse and leaned up against the bar, raising one overlong forefinger to the Bartender, who plopped a drink down in front of him without further preamble.

The new arrival took a swig from his glass then casually glanced at Mousse and said, "Ook."

"Ook," Mousse replied, just to be social.

The two silently took stock of one another, then the older stranger looked forward, leaning his weight against the bar on both elbows and said very somberly, "Ook ook."

That caused Mousse to raise an eyebrow and respond with a challenging, "Ook?"

The old-timer raised a finger as if to reprimand Mousse for his attitude and replied, "Ook ook, ook ook ook."

"Ook ook?" Mousse replied, then he reflexively lowered his eyes and said an apologetic, "Ook."

"Ook," the older fellow responded, then with a sage tone to his voice he said a very solemn, "Ook."

That caused Mousse to frown, wondering how the old-timer could know so much about his situation. It was rather like sitting with an elder, or-more precisely-his own personal Elder and Mentor, the only man in his village who ever treated Mousse as if he mattered a damn to anyone, the resident Master of Hidden Weapons in their village, Go-Wen. There was that same patient air, that same kindly manner and authoritative tone that did not feel like rubbing your nose in a rotten bunch of bananas. He decided to tolerate the old-timer and give him some measure of respect. The very fact that he seemed to have seen right through Mousse at a glance was by itself a strong indication that the older fellow might have something interesting to say that was worth paying attention.

"Ook," Mousse stared forward across the bar, feigning disinterest.

"Oook, ook," the old timer said with a wry sparkle in his aged eyes and a tone of subtle amusement.

Mousse visibly winced at that and could only say, "Ook," in response to that observation.

"Ook," the old timer said sagely, staring off into space as he sighed with a somber, "Oook…ook ook ook, ook-ook. Oook ook oook?"

That brought a thoughtful look to Mousse as he responded curiously, "Ook?"

"Ook," the older fellow said firmly, "Oook ook ook. Oook ook?"

"Oook," Mousse said reluctantly, "Ook ook ook…"

"Ook," the other fellow shook his head in a negative manner, "Oook ook ooook, ook ook."

That took Mousse totally by surprise, "Oook? Ook oook?"

"Ook," the sage fellow replied, putting a curious sense of great wisdom and depth in his tone and expression that conveyed all sorts of curious meanings. To strengthen the point he raised and wiggled his eyebrows in a particularly suggestive manner, then unfolded his lower lip to convey a clear indication of what direction Mousse should take in his life. The look he then gave the younger…um…man…held the rest of his implied meaning, and it started Mousse to think in an entirely new level. Like an exploding epiphany bursting forth in the clarity of new thought, it all suddenly became clear to him, as if the truth had been standing before him all along waiting to be noticed.

"Oook," Mousse exhaled, amazed at the very simplicity of the suggestion, and to that he turned to the old-timer and said a very reverent and grateful, "Ook."

"Ook," the other fellow said dismissively, and waved a hand as if to ask, "What the heck are you still dong here, Boy? Get moving!"

"Ook," Mousse replied, and after plopping some money on the counter took off with a loping stride and the rapid beat of his knuckles.

"What the heck was that all about?" Itsuke asked.

"Ah, the older guy was just giving him some advice about his love life," the Bartender shrugged, as though it were a perfectly obvious answer to that question.

"Ook," the ancient Orangutan at the bar said, then finished off his drink, picked up some scrolls that he had brought with him into the tavern and headed off to the rear of the bar, opening a door and exiting through it, said door vanishing moments later.

Itsuke was very still for the longest time, then he calmly took a long drink from his glass and asked the Bartender to give him another sample…

Ranma sat with legs folded in a lotus posture, quietly meditating as the fading rays of sunlight began to disappear on the horizon, a position that he had held for close to an hour, his mind drifting back to his encounter with the Fire Elemental, and the rather spectacular way in which he had brought that fight to a stunning conclusion.

He could still remember the heat of its flames circulating all around him as its huge maw closed down upon his tiny form with only a hastily projected Chi-field to ward off certain incineration. In that instant when he conjured forth his most desperate gamble-the "Contain and Absorb Ultimate Maneuver, Backdraft," which he had just then created on the spot, he found their positions instantly reversing themselves as he drew in some essential part of the creature and felt it merge with his being as its flaming form was drawn back into his body. For an instant, all conscious awareness of himself momentarily had ceased, and in a few seconds of time his consciousness itself had expanded to levels never dreamed before, transporting him to a plane of being outside the bounds of ordinary timespace.

On this transcendent level of infinitely higher awareness, Ranma had pictured himself standing in the place of the Tarot Card known as the Knight of Swords and confronted the elemental being he had just effectively devoured. In this higher reality its true essence magnified its glory to impossible dimensions, and yet somehow he did not feel the least bit afraid in confronting such a being, knowing instinctively that he held the upper hand and that the creature could not harm him so long as he remained resolute and determined.

**WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME, MORTAL?** it had asked in a voice that was more like an echo in Ranma's mind than anything vocalized like normal speech.

"I want you to lay off and stop trying to harm me and my sister!" Ranma shot back, "It was an accident what happened the last time…you forced me into doing it twice now…"

**BUT THIS SECOND TIME IS NO ACCIDENT,** the creature rumbled, **THAT A MORTAL COULD WORK SUCH A POWERFUL SPELL OF CONTAINMENT THROUGH THE FORCE OF YOUR WILL ALONE IS EXCEPTIONAL. I SENSE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU, AND YET YOU ARE NOT A TRAINED MAGICIAN NOR WIZARD. HOW THEN ARE YOU ABLE TO BALK MY WRATH NOT ONCE BUT ON TWO CONSECUTIVE OCCASIONS?**

"I don't really know," Ranma admitted, "I was just guessing that I could do it. I'm Saotome Ranma of the Anything Goes…"

**HAVE CAUTION AS YOU GIVE OUT YOUR NAME, FOR NAMES HOLD GREAT POWER, EVEN FOR YOU, MORTAL,** the elemental warned.

"Oh yeah?" Ranma asked, "Then what's your name…or what do I call you?"

There was a sense of belated frustration, as though the Creature realized that it had said too much and revealed a hidden weakness, and yet for some reason it felt compelled to give an answer, **I AM CALLED LATISHA IN THE TONGUE OF YOU MORTALS, THOUGH TO MY KIND I HAVE ANOTHER NAME. I AM THE QUEEN OF THE SALAMANTHS WHO PRESIDE WITHIN THIS DISTRICT…I AM VERY ANCIENT AND VERY POWERFUL, YET IN MY TIME I HAVE ENCOUNTERED ONLY A HANDFUL OF MORTALS, LIKE YOURSELF, LORD SAOTOME…**

"Latisha, huh?" Ranma replied, "So…your Highness…maybe I should ask what I can do for you to get you to back off a bit and stop threatening me and others."

**YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMMAND ME TO DESIST AGAINST YOU AND YOUR SISTER,** Latisha replied, **I AM, MOMENTARILY, AT YOUR DISPOSAL, THOUGH SHOULD YOU ASK ME WHAT I WANT, IT WOULD BE TO ESCAPE THE ANNOYING PRISON OF YOUR MORTAL BODY.**

"So you can come after me again when I'm not watching?" Ranma sniffed, "No thanks."

**YOU NEED NOT FEAR FOR ANY MORE REPRAISALS,** the draconic fire elemental replied, **I GIVE YOU MY WORD THAT I WILL NOT ATTACK YOU HENSEFORWARD. YOU HAVE PROVEN TOO FORMIDABLE TO DO BATTLE WITH DIRECTLY, AND I WOULD SCARESELY WISH TO RISK THE WRATH OF A YOUTH WHO CAN DO AS YOU HAVE DONE…IT WOULD HARDLY BE IN MY BEST INTEREST."

"Heh, good point," Ranma said, "Ah…can you do something about your size? I'm getting a crick in my neck just having to look up at you…"

**SUCH SENSATIONS ARE ILLUSORY UPON THIS PLANE,** the Salamander Queen assured him, **BUT AS FOR ALTERING MY SIZE AND APPEARANCE…**

All at once the Fire Elemental shrank down and compressed its massive form down to a more human size…and then that form shifted even more and gradually went from reptilian to something distinctively more…human. Flame red hair showered down the shoulders of a reddish-gold body, and the proportions of this womanly shape became entirely too human as Ranma stared wide-eyed at a beautiful naked female. He had to steady himself to avoid an instinctive and unexpected rush of masculine reaction as he took in her unearthly radiance, though it would hardly have surprised him had he sported a nose bleed, for the fiery woman was indescribable in her sensualistic beauty.

"Is this shape more pleasing to your eyes, Mortal?" she asked, seeming to take obvious pleasure in the way he gaped at her, tongue-tied and speechless.

"Ah…ah…oh my…" Ranma faltered.

"I will take that for a yes," the crimson haired woman smiled, "Mind you that this is but a mere replication of what I might appear as a human…it is not my true form, though this body does reflect my inner nature."

"Er…yeah…" Ranma blinked his eyes to recover some of his wits, "Ah…would you mind-and please don't take this the wrong way-but could you put something on? I got this fiancée, and if she found out I…ah…well…"

To his surprise and relief the Elemental seemed to take his request in good humor, "You wish to be honorable and not betray your absent iinazuke? How quaintly mortal…however, since you have requested it with such good graces…"

She extended her hands to the sides and flames rose up to engulf her, only to subside a moment more in the form of filmy, gauze-like reams of cloth that hardly blocked out the side of anything significant, though Ranma had to suppose that it would do for the moment.

"Now then," the Queen assumed a haughty role again as she regarded Ranma with a very curious expression, "What price would you name to grant me my freedom?"

"Ah…price?" Ranma blinked again.

"You may request of me some favor as a token for my parole," Latish calmly explained, "It is what Wizards do when they bargain with my kind. You are entitled to some favor and boon as ransom for me to barter my freedom. What is the thing you most desire, and how may I grant it to you?"

"Uh…well…" Ranma said, "I…dunno…I was studying to try and create a new martial arts system called the Honosenken…"

"The Fire of a Thousand Fists?" the Salamander queen asked curiously, "Most interestingly named. Can you describe for me what it is?"

"Sure," Ranma replied and began to explain the nature of the basic Senken maneuvers for Earth and Water, then revealed that his father had chosen to let Ranma create and name his own new system, a system based on the principle of a fire being set to burn a mortal dwelling, all the while wondering if the elemental could gather much of the basic concept.

To his surprise she did, and said as much by remarking, "That is indeed a most curious human invention. We Elementals well know of the human proclivity to fight either armed or bare handed, and it mostly amuses us to watch them burn with an inner fire of determination, struggling to better themselves, often at the cost of their fellow human beings. Of course, there are some mortals who choose to do battle with us…and these are struggles we salamanders regard with great favor and amusement, noticing how you flaunt your puny weapons and tools against us, trying to spoil our fun and interrupt our consumption of our dinner. That you trained with such noble warriors is to be commended."

Commended?" Ranma repeated, surprised to hear her express such tones of obvious admiration.

"Think you that we do not appreciate heroism and noble valor?" Latisha replied, "A valiant enemy is to be respected, even if we do seek opposite goals. To do battle with a great and noble fighter for the human side is an honor to us both, and in the thousand-or-so years that I have existed I have seen many noble fighters stand or fall before my all-consuming hunger."

"You don't mind that firefighters are trying to snuff you out?" Ranma asked.

"Silly Mortal," Latisha chided, "You cannot kill my kind simply by depriving us of fuel…we merely return to our own native dimensions when expelled from a fight, to rest and regather our strength until the next foolish mortal creates for us an opening through which to travel to the next point of consumption. Whenever you light a flame it forms a portal through which my kind may travel, though the amount of food available is what determines for us whether the Elemental being summoned is a strong or minor being. I myself only come out to enjoy the richer quality fires that can sustain my hunger when I walk upon your plane. That repository of oddly brewed chemical agents was a particularly tasty soup that offered many curious and exotic flavors but for your bumbling interference. That was why you found me so annoyed when you interrupted my feasting."

"Yeah…you did seem kinda peeved about that," Ranma noted, "Well…what about this favor stuff? You mean I get to ask something of you and then I can let you go back to burning stuff whenever you feel like it?"

"Consuming fuel is in my nature," Latisha pointed out, "Do I fault you humans for the sort of things that you are prone to?"

"Heh, good point," Ranma scratched the metaphorical back of his head, "Well…to tell you the truth, I don't know what I want, other than to master the Honosenken and go on to beat Nabiki so she'll start paying me more attention…"

"You wish to defeat the woman whom you love?" Latisha pondered that point, "Curious. I know not if that would even be within my power to grant you…but as for this…Honosenken that you mention, I believe I may grant you that without effort."

To Ranma's surprise she reached out a hand and took his right arm gently to urge him to raise it, then once he held it out towards her she placed his palm upon her chest, and Ranma's eyes widened as he swallowed a bit, realizing where that hand was resting: on a flat area just above two full and heaving bosoms. Then he gasped as all at once flames reached out to engulf his arm…but despite the instinctive urge to pull away he found that he could not move that arm, nor was there any sensation of pain about him as the fires did not consume his flesh, rather they localized around his forearm, and to his amazement he felt his clothing melt away and saw lettering begin to etch itself into his skin with a faint tingling sensation. When the fires subsided there were marks upon his arm, rather like an ink-stained tattoo, but other than that he felt a rather pleasant…sensation.

"Now there is a link between us," Latisha revealed as Ranma removed his hand from her chest and began to study his forearm, "The pattern will ebb and flow at times to reveal different things, sometimes even to answer questions and reveal some secret foreknowledge. This is the mark of a pact between us, though to you it might seem more like a truce and an understanding than any true token of my surrender. We shall meet again, either as allies or as enemies, the fates alone will decide, but when you call on me you may request a favor. Call on me as often as you like…but I warn you…it had better be for something consequential or I may…find other ways of seeking my amusement."

"But what does this have to do with the Honosenken?" Ranma asked.

"With this mark you will be acknowledged as a kin to the element of fire," Latisha revealed, "You will have some limited control and immunity bestowed upon you, but how much depends on how long and hard you study to master your new gift. Use this power wisely and it will serve you well…abuse the gift and it will ultimately consume you."

"Uh…thanks, I guess," Ranma replied, "I guess that means you can go now…you're free or…well, whatever…"

"I thank you for your generosity in naming such a trifling price," Latisha smiled as her body once more reverted to the element of fire, "You are an interesting mortal and I should like the chance of studying you on some other occasion…good fortune in your pursuit of your iinazuke…"

And that was when the vision ended and he found himself drifting back to earth in the swirling mass of congealing blue flames. The questioning looks he was given by his friends were entirely predictable and even understandable, and he had mumbled a few incoherent answers to questions to which he himself did not truly know the answer.

Now that he had time to think about it, the marks in his arm did seem very much like a pact of some sort, which meant that the answer he gave to Happosai was not entirely accurate. Being a truthful sort by nature (white lies occasionally told in self-defense notwithstanding), it bothered him more than a little, but since the wizened old pervert had instructed him to sit like this and contemplate on a sun-symbol that had been drawn in the ground before him, Ranma found his mind circulating in some curious new directions. He wondered if he should have accepted any sort of agreement with a being as inhuman as a Fire Elemental (and never mind that she had felt VERY human to the touch!), and what would be the ultimate outcome of such an agreement, or was it an entirely benevolent arrangement? In fact, the more he thought about it…

"How's it going, my boy?"

Ranma opened his eyes and saw Happosai eyeing him with a wizened old expression, as if exulting in a secret that he knew and Ranma did not.

"What do you want?" Ranma asked, "I've been sitting and meditating like you asked, but I don't feel any lighter."

"Is that a fact?" Happosai chuckled, "Care to take a look down?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked his eyes, then suddenly took notice that the little old man was balancing on one foot on a single wooden branch, much like Cologne and her staff, which actually made little sense as that would imply that Ranma himself was sitting at a much higher level than the ground…

His eyes tracked down and saw that the ground was a good four or five feet lower than he had anticipated and that he was-in effect-sitting on air, which meant that he was levitating and…

"AWK!" Ranma gasped as he lost his concentration and went tumbling to the ground in a heap.

Happosai sighed and hopped down from his own perch, his tone gently chiding, "Really, my boy, you ought to be a little harder to shock than this. What's so shocking about a little levitation? Rag-headed swamis in India do it all the time, and you're much more well trained than that."

"Uh…could you give a guy a little more warning next time?" Ranma asked as he sat up, groaning slightly about a sore bottom, "You didn't exactly tell me that was gonna happen…"

"I told you to concentrate on the Solar disk and think of yourself as growing lighter," Happosai replied, "What exactly did you think was going to happen? This exercise is to teach you how to draw on and channel the Chi-forces of the sun itself…and maybe the sun is going down over the eastern Sea of Japan, but you can still feel it warming you just by thinking about it, right?"

"Uh…right," Ranma said, "So…think I should try that again? This time I won't get so frazzled about it. I…kind of had my mind on something else when you showed up…"

"That fire lady again, huh?" Happosai smirked, "Well, far be it from me to stand between you and a fantasy life. Lots of young men your age get tempted to let their minds wander…"

"HEY!" Ranma protested, "It ain't like that! I'd never do nothing like that to Nabiki!"

"Do tell?" Happosai scratched along the back of his neck, "Say…wasn't there another little cutie who you're supposed to get hitched to? What was her name again?"

"You mean Ucchan?" Ranma blinked, "Ah…well…"

"Kinda forgot about her, eh?" Happosai winked, "I imagine she'd be pretty peeved with you if she ever found out. In fact, I can almost hear the affectionate whiz of her throwing spatulas coming at you…"

"Okay, so I ain't perfect," Ranma growled, "What did you come here for anyway if it ain't to criticize my love life?"

"I wanted to check on your progress, of course," Happosai mused, "You know, of course, that the elements of Air and Fire are compatible, so shifting between one to the other won't be as much of a challenge as moving from water to fire, the Umisenken to the Honosenken. Of course, the Arashisenken is an entirely different art from any of the others. It works on the principle of a house basking in the sun, much like you've been doing…the house expands with heat, then it contracts back down at night. The same could be said for your body…taking in the heat of the sun and releasing it at night…but what if it's not just heat you draw upon? Suppose it's Chi energy that you draw in all around you to expand the level of the power within you, then release it when you want to. In turns you'll learn to hold a measure of Chi power inside you all of the time, which is what you've done in regular training. So you see…you already know the basics of making like a house in that respect. What you need to learn are some of the ways that this Chi-power can be used besides making destructive fireballs and tossing them around like Frisbees."

"I think I get what you're saying," Ranma said, "So…how does this levitation thing work?"

"My boy," Happosai smiled, "You know about the theory of gravity, don't you? Einstein once say it involves falling down like in an elevator…according to him we're all falling down all the time into a really deep well, and only the ground under our feet supports us so that we don't go falling right through to the center of the planet."

"That's what Mister Mitoshi says in Physics," Ranma said, "But I never could figure that one out. I mean…how can we always be falling?"

"It has to do with the nature of time and space itself," Happosai revealed, "It's not emptiness, like many people think…it's more like an infinite fabric that stretches out in all directions. Solid matter is formed of this stuff when it twists into the shape of an atom or subatomic particle…like knots in a string, see what I'm saying?"

"Ah…sorta," Ranma answered.

"There really is no ultimate difference between a particle and empty space besides this," Happosai continued, "And yet the more knots you tie in a string, the more it bends the fold of space to create a distortion. A planet's just a really big collection of particles knotted together like a giant ball of string…it's all energy frozen in a pattern in space, but it creates such a big fold in space that objects tend to slide towards it…like going down a kid's slide to the bottom, and having your path blocked part-way by a solid object. Gravity works like that, you see…objects sliding towards large concentrations of matter, but there's a force that works in opposition to this one-way slide…it's a power called levity, which isn't humor, by the way, just a force that rises against the pull of solid matter. Levity is all around us, and if you learn to tap into this force it can pick you up and carry you like a feather on a breeze."

"And that's Levitation?" Ranma asked, "Tuning into this…levity whatever?"

"Actually there's a lot more to it than that," Happosai sighed, "It's mind over matter…and if Nabiki were here I could explain some of the details that would go right over your head. You do know what inertia is, right?"

"Sure," Ranma replied, "A body at rest tends to stay at rest unless you push it."

"And pushing it encounters resistance," Happosai nodded, "An object-say, your father-likes to sleep in during the day and you can't really budge him out of a nice, deep nap with anything less than a loud explosion."

In spite of himself, Ranma sniffed in amusement at this analogy, "Yeah…I got that all right…"

"Well," Happosai resumed, "An object tends to remain stable in place unless a force works against it to push it in one or more directions. Two forces operating at the same time create a vector, which pushes an object in a third direction. Now…suppose the inertia of an object wasn't totally fixed…it might take less energy to move it if you can lower this resistance."

"Say what?" Ranma said, "Lower an object's inertia? How do you do that?"

"I can't really describe it to you, Boy," Happosai said, "You gotta feel it in yourself. You have the strength of will to do it if you can feel your way to lowering your inertia. Maybe you should keep imagining yourself to be as light as a feather again…that seemed to do the trick."

"Ah…yeah…" Ranma replied, remembering the momentary wonder of discovering himself levitating above the ground, and deciding that he would have to practice that more often.

"The sun can be your ally in this," Happosai explained, "It's the source of all life and power throughout the solar system. Think of yourself as being the point in the center of a circle…that's the ancient sign of the sun…a circle with a point within it…the solar disk, if you will. Be that point and think of yourself as a feather, let the warmth of the sun seep into you and be like a house that expands and rises."

"A house that expands and rises," Ranma repeated, "Right…got it…"

"Keep in mind," Happosai cautioned, "The sun is also the source of changes in the weather…and if you think of ocean water heating up in the sun and rising up as steam to form clouds in the sky, you could be like those clouds, held aloft by the sun's power. Of course do too much of it and those clouds get heavy, and the water falls back down again as rain. Sometimes you get hot and cold drafts that mix and interfere with one another…and like the vectoring of two forces you can get wind and all sorts of hostile weather. Then there's the clash of two polarities that creates lightning and thunder, and hurricanes and tornadoes…all forces that can tear away at a house and ultimately destroy it…so the thing you have to do is to keep in mind is the peace and tranquility of a bright and sunny day. If you have to imagine yourself as a cloud, don't let yourself be distracted like you were just now or it could lead to disaster."

"Okay," Ranma said, "Big safety tip…think sunny, not rainy."

"There you go," Happosai congratulated, "You've taken your first big step towards creating the Arashisenken. You can work out the details later once you've got a firm grasp of the basics."

"I think I know what you're saying," Ranma nodded, "I'll do that."

"I'll give you one more analogy and then we can call it a night," Happosai said, "When I talked about inertia, there was another curious thing that Einstein used to tell me. He said that the more you push an object forward the greater its inertia becomes…that's because an object absorbs energy the more you push it…and it continues forward until it dissipates that energy and comes to a relative rest again. The more energy and inertia an object absorbs, the more densely it is packed together on an atomic level. Comes a point where it takes more and more energy to push an object faster and faster until you get near to the speed of light. That's where it takes an almost infinite amount of energy to push the object faster, which is why solid matter doesn't move faster than light, not unless you convert it back to energy, or warp the space around it."

"And what does that all mean?" Ranma asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Happosai smiled, "You already know how to lower your inertia…you do it every time you move faster than the human eye can see. You've been doing it automatically all this time and never even realized it before…and once you learn how to do it while you're standing still…why, the possibilities are endless! If you can reduce your inertia to the point where you literally are as light as a feather, and can tap into the force of Levity all around you, then you'll know how to float on the air like a breeze. Stick that one in your pipe and smoke it…even the Old Woman doesn't know how to do that trick."

Ranma blinked as he absorbed the implications, "You mean…I can actually do something that Elder Cologne can't do herself?"

"Give the boy a cigar!" Happosai chuckled, "Congratulations…you're on your way to surpassing Nabiki as a fighter. How do you feel about that?"

"I…uh…weird…" Ranma said, "I never thought I could do it…I mean…be better than Nabiki. I was hoping I'd get as good as her…maybe…eventually, but still…"

"Well, it will take some time before you can do that, of course," Happosai nodded, "Three days to be exact, and then you can show up that uppity girl and let her know what a mistake it was to underestimate you and take your martial arts for granted."

"Uh…yeah…" Ranma thought a moment then said, "Y'know…for a guy who spends most of his time stealing women's panties…you do know some pretty neat stuff, Gramps…"

"Of course," Happosai replied with a puffing up of his little chest, "That's because I'm the Master!"

"But there's something I can't figure out," Ranma frowned, "And that's why you're helping me do this."

"Ranma…I'm hurt, Boy," Happosai pouted, "Haven't you ever heard of the Code of the Guys?"

"The Code of the what?" Ranma blinked.

"I blame it on Genma," Happosai sighed, "Your father should be the one to tell you this…and it seems your mother and Soun dropped the ball big time. Okay…it's like this…the Code of the Guys is about getting laid."

"Getting laid?" Ranma repeated.

"Men are competitive by nature," Happosai began, "We view each other as potential rivals in the greater pecking order that is life itself…only the both of us sit pretty much at the top of the heap when it comes to being top-notch Alpha males. Of course…I do have to concede you have the edge in the looks department…but that's just because you're a snot-nosed punk who hasn't seen his fair share of life yet, so just wait until you get to be my age before you go tootin' your horn on that, right?"

"Uh…right, whatever," Ranma conceded.

"The thing is, though…when it comes to women, guys like us tend to stick together," Happosai smiled, "The Code of the Guys has three essential rules…the first one being: Never mess with another man's woman, especially if he's a friend. You can cheat on a stranger, but it's low to cheat on the woman of your buddy."

"Uh…huh?" Ranma blinked.

"The second rule is this," Happosai continued, "Never sell out a friend for a woman. Guys get screwed all the time, but not by other guys who trust them. You do that and you sell out on trust, and then nobody's ever going to trust you, especially the woman you cheat with."

"Hey, I wouldn't-!" Ranma began to protest.

"The third rule is the most important one of all," Happosai went on as if not interrupted, "Unless it conflicts with the first two rules, always help another guy get laid…and that's what I'm trying to do for you, if you'd be man enough to thank me."

"Thank you?" Ranma sputtered, "For what?"

"For giving you the benefit of my wealth of experience, of course," Happosai responded, "All guys have one goal in mind when it comes to women…and that's getting into their pants. Oh, sure…there's the romance and the politically correct stuff they tell you about relationships and what-not, but it's all just fluff covering the one basic thing that you can't ignore no matter how much you work at it."

"And that is?" Ranma asked in dubious tones.

"Reproduction, of course," Happosai snorted, "Without it the race would be extinct…in fact, there wouldn't be a human race to start with, just a bunch of trilling bacteria reproducing asexually. Nature made a great leap forward when it developed Bisexual reproduction…what separates the boys from the girls, if you'll pardon the pun. Bisexuality is the key for human survival…and I don't mean the same-sex kind either! A guy has to stick his thing in a girl and get her to cum, or at least cum himself so she gets his seed planted, and without all of that, well…forget about the romantics! Concentrate on the nookie!"

"Nookie?" Ranma blinked, then he drew a mental image and appropriately colored, "Oh…"

"I don't know if it's just you or something in the Saotome line," Happosai said with disgust, "Your father was the same way when he was your age…scared to death of getting intimate with the ladies. How he wound up the father of three strapping youths like you, Ryoga and that Kaoih cutie I'll never understand…or why the girls were so hot for Genma when he always ran away from them, your mother being the notable exception. However you slice it, Boy, you have got a ways to go before you start acting normally and behave like you've got a pulse around women!"

"HEY!" Ranma protested, "I do too have…ah…well…whatever it is!"

"The girls chase you, remember?" Happosai snorted, "Not the other way around…except maybe for that crush you used to have on the Kuno girl, and that's past history."

"All right…so maybe I don't want to act like a jerk all the time," Ranma said, "Not like you anyway, always trying to grab them and cop a feel…"

"You might try it yourself and see if it's so bad," Happosai countered, "But before you condemn me for my hobbies and habits, keep in mind that you go the opposite way, and that's causing the women in your life to feel lonely and neglected. You think Kuonji and Nabiki aren't thinking about you right now? Or do you think they like their wives more than they like you? That's it, isn't it? You're jealous that you don't think you mean as much to them!"

"I ain't jealous!" Ranma protested, but as he met the little pervert eye-to-eye he found that he was the one to look away, grumbling, "Well…maybe just a little…"

"So what's really the problem?" Happosai asked, "You promised your Mom you'd wait until after you were married, but do you really believe anyone expects to hold you to that promise? If you did give in to the perfectly natural hormones that must be raging in your body then we wouldn't need to be having this conversation, and the women who love you would be satisfied and content that you love them, that they mean as much to you as you do to them. You got it?"

Ranma was genuinely surprised to see the heat and anger in the eyes of the diminutive master, and then something else occurred to him as he replied, "You really think that I'm the one who's been putting a wedge between me and Nabiki?"

"You hold back your affections from her and you can ask me that?" Happosai growled, then he sighed and the anger seemed to fade from him altogether, "Ranma…I was once a young man with prospects, just like you…and I lost the one I loved because I didn't tell her how much she really meant to me. I…kind of let her down, and she got angry and shut me out of her life. Don't make the same mistake that I did, son…life's just too short to be spent pining away for the rest of your years with endless longing."

Ranma seriously thought about that, then he said, "I…ah…thanks."

"You're welcome," Happosai nodded, "Now, shouldn't you be getting yourself ready for the show tonight? It's in another hour or so, and if you're late your sister's gonna kick your sorry ass."

"Late…show?" Ranma sat upright, "OMIGOSH! I totally forgot! Kaoih's gonna be mad at me if I…uh…mind if we do this latter?"

"What are you standing around here asking me that for?" Happosai replied, "Get moving, you young punk! Call it a forth rule in the Code of the Guys: Never let another guy catch flack from a woman, even if she is a relative, you got it?"

"Got it," Ranma said, "See you later!"

Ranma took off at a dead run heading towards the circus, leaving Happosai to shake his head and remark sadly, "Kids these days…gotta kick 'em in the right direction, not like in my day when we knew how to chase a woman…"

Unseen by the ancient Master of the Anything Goes school, a hidden figure perched atop a tree looked on with considerable concern in her expression. It was far worse than she had imagined…things were progressing in the training of young Saotome far beyond her wildest estimation. Truly the old fool had been pulling out all the stops if he could make this much progress with his charge in as little as eleven days. As she stood perched atop a tree that was far too slender to support her weight she considered her options and thought about the implications for Nabiki, then started to formulate a theory that might work to her own personal advantage. It was not that she was adverse to Ranma winning in the upcoming struggle, but if he won by too great a margin the old fool would never stop rubbing her nose in it. Something had to be done to equalize the odds a little.

Cologne smiled as a plan took shape in her mind, then she vaulted away into the growing night, determined to set this plan into motion. This could work out even better than she had dared to hope for, and the thought of Nabiki's expression when she learned about Ranma's special training program…she chuckled softly, a merry and musical tune that haunted on the breeze and caused Happosai to look up in surprise, wondering where he had heard that sylvan sound before, and why it suddenly made him feel so worried…

Continued

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