Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Exchanging Nabikis... ( Chapter 107 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Come back here, you old fool!" a voice cried out in familiar protest of a certain lecherous Martial Arts Master's recent activities.

"Not a chance!" Master Happosai called out gleefully as he ran down the corridors of the dojo chortling to himself, "What a haul! What a haul!"

"Bring that back!" cried Tendo Nabiki as she threw back the sliding door and glared angrily at the fleeing pervert, "That's Shampoo's bra! You want to mess with her? You mess with me first!"

"One at a time, my dear apprentice!" Happosai cried as he vaulted onto the top of the wall and looked back to taunt her some more, "You have to be quicker than that if you expect to catch me…"

He was cut off as a hand snatched the bra from out of his grasp then growled, "You were saying?"

"Nani?" Happosai turned around with very wide eyes, only to receive a sharp kick to the face that sent him soaring towards a distant cloudbank.

"Honestly," Nabiki sighed as she watched him vanish, "He should know by now that I'm a lot faster than I used to be. If he expects to get away with this sort of conduct around my wife…"

"Old man giving you problems again?" another voice asked, causing Nabiki to whirl around with a delighted expression.

"Ranchan!" she cried as she threw her arms around her iinazuke-slash-husband, "You're back!"

"Hey, it's not like I've been gone all that long," Ranma protested as he fought for balance while returning her embrace, "But if this is the kind of greeting I can expect, then I ought to go on more training missions with Dad."

"Not without me you're not!" Nabiki chuckled as she playfully touched his nose, "Next thing I know, you'll run off and join the circus again. Where are Ucchan and Perfume at?"

"Oh, they'll be along," Ranma assured her, "They stopped by the restaurant to check up on the business. They'll be along soon enough to enjoy some of Kasumi's fine cooking…assuming nobody made the mistake of letting Akane near the kitchen."

"What do you think we are, insane?" Nabiki chuckled as she let go of all but his hand and the bra that she was holding, "No, she's over at Kodachi's with Keiko and Ryoga. I was just spending some time at home with Shampoo…"

"How is she doing?" Ranma's concern was evident, "Still having back pains and complaining about the shape she's in?"

"Cologne's been coaching her to get her back on a training regimen that should help her get back her original figure," Nabiki replied, "She's been holding up pretty well through all of the months when she was pregnant, but…well…you know how she's been feeling about being cooped up all of that time. She hated being sidelined, and now she's determined to make up for lost time…"

"But she's got to know that she has to take it easy," Ranma said, "It's been, what? Three weeks since she got back from the hospital? She shouldn't be taking risks with her health…"

"She knows the drill," Nabiki rolled her eyes, "Cologne and Kasumi keep reminding her day and night to take it slow, but you know these Amazons…they rarely ever listen."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Ranma chuckled, which earned him a dangerous look from his companion.

"And just what did you mean by that?" Nabiki growled in low menace.

"Nothing!" Ranma hastily put up his hands, attempting to avoid a quick trip into the koi pond, "Uh, why don't I stop by and give Sham-chan my best? She's got to know we're all rooting for her to get back up to speed now that she has a daughter to take care of."

"If you can't cheer her up, Ranchan, I don't know who else can," Nabiki smiled as they both vaulted off the wall and headed back towards the house, unaware that they were being watched all the while by eyes that glowed without warmth or comfort. A cunning smile crossed inhuman lips, forming a sneer that promised trouble for the very near future…

Meanwhile, not far in terms of time and space, but removed by many heartbeats in terms of separation, another tableau was being acted out very much like the first but with distinctive differences for the principles involved…

"Come back here, you old fool!"

"What a haul, what a haul!"

The sliding door moved back to reveal an angry redhead whose blue eyes flashed menacingly as she caught sight of the little man running on ahead with his prize in hand.

"Bring that back!" she cried as she chased him into the garden, "That belongs to Akane!"

"You think I don't know that, my boy?" Happosai chortled as he looked back to taunt the youth, only to miss seeing where he was going as he ran smack into an upheld metal dish lid. He went slumping onto the floor as Akane looked down with disgust.

"What did you do this time?" Akane growled, then saw the redhead pull up short of her and asked, "Ranma?"

"Oh, uh, hi Akane," said Saotome Ranma to her iinazuke, "I see you caught the little runt this time in the act."

"In the act of what?" Akane wondered with suspicion, "I was just bringing you some lunch I made when I saw him coming at me."

"Oh?" Ranma suddenly felt very nervous, both for Akane's sudden appearance and the lethal weapon that she was carrying inside the innocent looking cook pot.

"It's something special I made," Akane said as she held the pot up in both hands, "Ramen casserole with fish heads and onions and…"

"Urk!" Ranma managed to choke out as she contemplated the gray mass amid the coal black lumps inside the pot…and was it her imagination or was something swimming beneath the surface?

Suddenly she found herself holding up Akane's bra in one hand as Master Happosai recovered sufficiently to take advantage of her momentary distraction. Ranma gasped as the aged master said, "There you go, Ranma my boy, your share of tonight's haul. Enjoy!"

With that he bounded away, leaving Ranma holding the incriminating goods. Akane stared at the bra, recognizing it as her own, then glared angrily at the redhead and growled, "Ranma…"

"Hey, wait a minute, Akane!" Ranma protested, "You don't think I took this? I was trying to get it back from the little pervert…"

"And you expect me to believe that?" Akane all but shouted, "What kind of an idiot do you take me for?"

"Now there's a loaded question," a sardonic voice murmured from one side.

"Stay out of this, Nabiki!" Akane growled, "This is between me and my baka fiancé!"

"Maybe so," Nabiki replied, "But I'll have you know that Ranma's telling you the truth this time. I was witness to the whole thing, and I can definitely say that the fault lies with Master Happosai."

Ranma stared in disbelief at his savior. Tendo Nabiki coming to his rescue without being asked? And without a profit motive involved? It was too good to be true and she was instantly suspicious.

"You mean that, Oneechan?" Akane lost some of her anger in her surprise, "Ranma really was trying to get it back?"

"Sure I was," Ranma instantly replied, committing one of the typically great mistakes of his life by opening his mouth instead of leaving it to Nabiki, who he suspected of ulterior motives. All would have gone right just then if he had been smart enough not to add, "Not that I think a bra makes any sense with you since you've hardly got anything there to support…"

He did not know why she was surprised to see Akane's anger flare up once again to volcanic levels as she stared hatefully towards him and said, "RANMA NO BAKA!!!!"

Nabiki winced as her potential brother-in-law went sailing headfirst into the koi pond. She sighed as Akane stormed angrily away, taking the pot with its toxic contents with her. The middle Tendo daughter just sighed then walked casually up to the koi pond and said, "You've only got yourself to blame for that one, Saotome. If you'd just let me do all the talking this would never have happened."

"I know," Ranma groaned as she climbed back out, thoroughly drenched and miserable, "Why can't I ever keep my big mouth shut?"

"Can't answer you there," Nabiki smiled, "But I am doing a term paper for my Psychology class on just that subject. I expect to get an 'A', of course, since you'll be accompanying me as my live demonstration model."

Ranma started to open her mouth to protest then thought better of it, "Oh…so that's why you came to my rescue…"

"Smart boy," Nabiki grinned, "Truth is, though, even I get a little tired of Gramps and his antics, and I think Akane carries this angry Tomboy thing a bit too far. It's like with her always trying to cook when Kasumi lets her…"

Ranma just leaned his body on the boulder in front of him and said, "How much would I have to pay you to figure out a way to make her stop trying to poison us?"

"In this case, I'd charge nothing," Nabiki assured her, "It's my life on the line too, you know. Unfortunately, so far I haven't been able to come up with a plan that doesn't require hurting Akane's feelings."

"Well, somebody better do something quick," Ranma growled, "If I'm going to be married to that…uh…I mean…no way would I marry her, you understand, but…"

"I know exactly what you mean, Ranma-kun," Nabiki smirked, "If it was just a matter of cooking, you'd pick Ukyo or Shampoo. Well, better get inside and get dressed if you want any dinner at all. I'll go see if I can talk Akane into forgetting about her cooking…I just hope she hasn't poured her latest mess down the drain again. It's getting hard to hire plumbers for our septic tank…they keep talking about alligators and things with tentacles…"

"Right," Ranma got up and headed for the house with his prospective sister-in-law in tow, and neither of them was the least bit aware that a different pair of eyes were watching them from concealment, murmuring to itself in a soft, sibilant voice, "We have made it at last…It's not too late to warn them…"

"A challenge match?" Ranma was looking at Nabiki, mildly askance, "Again? That's the third time this month…"

"Fourth if you include your own challenge, Ranchan," she corrected with a smile, "I wouldn't worry about it, though. I've handled lots of these things in the past and so far nobody but you've gotten the better of me…at least where it counts."

"I don't know," Ranma frowned, "I don't like it when other people are always challenging you. One of these days it might be somebody really good, and then what'll happen?"

"Well, I'll expect you to avenge me at the very least," Nabiki told him pleasantly, then saw his pained look and sighed, "Don't worry so, Ranchan. I'll take good care of myself. I just want you and Sham-chan to be all right with this…"

"Ranma is right," Shampoo said crossly, "Airen take too many risks, maybe get hurt real bad. Shampoo does not want her Airen to be injured when she is now a poppa."

Nabiki smiled lopsidedly as she touched the hand of the purple-haired girl standing beside her, "What happened to that Amazon pride that says we can't back down from a challenge? Don't tell me you have doubts about my prowess?"

"Airen should not make stupid jokes like that," Shampoo sniffed, "Is very bad to face so many challenges at once. It like somebody try to hurt Airen for real. Shampoo does not wish to become widow, nor does Ranma-Airen. Nabiki-Airen does want to see her daughter grow up to be strong Amazon warrior who know her true father?"

"More than anything else in the world, Sham-chan," Nabiki said with fervent sincerity, "I'm just asking you to have a little faith in me, that's all. Besides, you'll never be alone. You've got Ranma, Ukyo and Perfume to take care of you if anything happens, not to mention Kasumi."

"Shampoo knows this," Shampoo said tiredly, giving Ranma a pained look that the boy returned in sympathy as if both commiserated in their mutual exasperation, "But Nabiki-Airen too stubborn to admit she not always best warrior who ever lived. You good enough to one day become Elder, like Great Grandmother, not throw this away over stupid pride. How Ranma-Airen feel if you hurt yourself?"

"Lousy," Ranma said, "I'd rather be the one risking my neck for the both of you, and I don't care how unenlightened that makes me sound."

"My husband, the traditionalist," Nabiki sniffed in amusement, "I'm touched that you feel that way, Ranchan, but even if I am your wife by Amazon marriage, I'm still fighting my own battles, and if Shampoo weren't so worn out from taking care of little Lylac I'm sure she'd say the same thing."

"Shampoo only know that now she is mother at last and she will work very hard to get back into shape," Shampoo averred, "Then she…I will make sure Nabiki-Airen spends more time with family instead of always fighting. Sham-I will not let you hurt yourself over pride, Airen, not even if it means your honor. Honor no good if you not around to give life meaning."

"I understand how you both feel," Nabiki said gently, "But Honor does mean something to me, and as the rightful heir to the Anything Goes School I have a responsibility to uphold the honor of my name and House. What good am I to anyone if I can't stand up for my own family? Nobody threatens the ones I love and gets away with it, so just please trust me to…"

"Whoah!" Ranma said, "What's this about threatening us? I thought you were the one being issued the challenge."

"Airen challenge message very ominous, Ranma-Airen," Shampoo replied, "Say threaten us if she no show for challenge."

"Actually," Nabiki said, "The wording was more like 'show up or face the dire consequences to those you love,' which I guess means pretty much the same thing. I was working out to prepare for the match when Happosai made his latest grab for the lingerie, but now that you're back I've got someone to spar with."

"Sure thing," Ranma said, "You know you can count on me to help you train. In fact, I've gotten a lot better with those new techniques Dad was teaching me over the weekend."

"More techniques like Ranma Senken skills?" Shampoo asked with a mildly ominous expression.

"Then you can show me what you've got after we have dinner," Nabiki smiled, "I expect you to go all out unless you also want to take swimming lessons."

Soun Tendo looked up from his paper, concern plainly writ on his expression as he considered what damage might be done to the house, yard and local real estate if his son-in-law and middle daughter were to cut loose at full force with their high advanced combat maneuvers. He considered saying something then thought the better of it, trusting his daughter and her newly wed husband to mind some restraints for the sake of keeping a roof intact over their heads.

Ranma smiled. He hardly needed the reminder of what Nabiki would do to him if she even suspected that he was holding back during their sparring matches. In truth, he did not like fighting women, let alone women he cared about, but Nabiki was a…special case, and it wasn't really like he was beating up on a weak girl…especially when she was in her other form as Kaneda…

"A challenge match?" Akane was asking, "Another one so soon?"

"Yeah," Ranma sniffed, "Third one this week. I must be popular again, either that or just unlucky."

"So what's the big deal?" Nabiki asked, "You'll win this the same as always."

"Of course I'll win," Ranma sniffed, then read the note again, "But what's this Martial Arts Karaoke? Is it a singing contest where our voices are lethal weapons?"

"You've obviously got that covered, right P-chan?" Akane sniffed, and the pig in her lap nodded his head in total agreement.

"Huh," Ranma snorted, "Just you wait, whoever you are. I'll beat the pants off of anyone who thinks they can challenge me in a dumb singing contest."

"That's the way, Son," Soun complimented, "Saotome, this marks the one hundredth challenge to be issued to the Tendo Dojo since you and your son arrived just around a year ago…"

"Say, you're right, Tendo," Genma remarked, "I'd almost lost track of the time. It has been close to a year now, hasn't it? A pretty active year chock full of memories, some of which I'd rather not remember…"

"It has been a year, hasn't it?" Soun replied, "Another game of Shogi?"

"Oh my," said Kasumi as she entered the room bearing a tray full of noodles, "Has it really been a year? Where does the time go?"

"You got me, Sis," Nabiki replied before giving Ranma a sly look, "Something you may want to consider when you accept this challenge, Saotome…you sing better as your female half, while as a guy…well, you're the one who's always saying how you're embarrassed to be seen that way."

"Oh yeah," Ranma's enthusiasm promptly dimmed, but his fighting spirit flared almost immediately as he cried, "But let me at him and I'll cream the jerk who thinks he can sing better than me! Just you wait and see, I'll be a regular Pop Idol diva yet! I'll sing the pants off of whoever it is, I'll…"

Nabiki's smile deepened as she murmured faintly to herself, "Perfect."

"What was that, Nabiki?" Akane eyed her older sister with suspicion.

"Oh, nothing much," Nabiki replied, assuming a cute-girl expression of patently false innocence while privately thinking to herself that there were many ways to profit from Ranma's typical obsession with being the best at anything in which he was challenged.

"Hi everybody!" Happosai cried as he bounded into the room, spoiling everyone's mood, "Ohhh! I see that Kasumi has made another batch of her delicious Sukiyaki with noodles! Time for me to dig-in!"

"Why hello, Grandfather Happosai," Kasumi said sweetly, the only one not upset at the old man's presence, "You seem to be in a very good mood this evening."

"And why shouldn't I be?" Happosai said brightly, reaching into his gi to pull out a certain object, "I've finally managed to repair the Nanban Mirror, which Ranma so thoughtlessly destroyed many months ago…"

"Me?" Ranma reacted, glancing at Nabiki, who he knew to be the true guilty party.

"Whatever," the wizened old master replied, "It took a while to research the spells needed to bind the magics all together…"

"You mean to pry the superglue off of your fingers," Nabiki corrected.

"You WHAT?" Ranma was on his feet again in an instant, "Give me that! That's my means of getting back to Jusenkyo, China!"

"No way my boy!" Happosai held the handheld mirror up to his breast, "I'm not letting you anywhere near this after the fiasco that happened the last time!"

"Oh yeah?" Ranma cried, and the chase was on immediately, dinner forgotten as the two played a game of cat-and-mouse that took them out into the yard, where it promptly became a free-for all between perverted master and designated apprentice.

"Oh well," Nabiki sighed as she and the others dug into their food and ignored the struggle that took place from one end of the yard to the other, "I suppose Cologne will be wanting that mirror back now that it's finally fixed again."

"Honestly," Akane growled while stealing secret glances to the side to see how Ranma was doing, then sniffed and lifted her nose as if the whole thing could not possibly be of any interest.

The pig in her lap, meanwhile, was looking from her to the struggling Ranma, who finally managed to wrest the mirror away from Happosai, only to be sent flying into the Koi pond with an enormous splash as if the whole thing had been planned that way from the get-go.

"That'll teach you to try and steal from me, my boy," Happosai said with evident pleasure, only to gasp as something unexpected happened. The koi pond was suddenly flaring to life, erupting into a shower of light as Ranma-chan was hurled backwards onto dry land sans mirror.

"Oh my," Kasumi said in amazement, "What do you suppose could have happened?"

"The mirror!" Akane said in alarm, "But I thought it was only supposed to react when tears were shed onto it!"

"Gee," Nabiki mused, "You don't suppose that Koi can cry tears, do you?"

"I don't know," Soun said to his three daughters, "Perhaps all the times Ranma has fallen into the pond have finally taken their toll with our poor fish."

"The tears of a Carp," Genma replied, then lurched to his feet, "Hey, you don't suppose that they might want to visit China?"

"Why should they?" Nabiki asked, "You think they have relatives that spawn there?"

"What the heck is this thing?" Ranma-chan asked, sitting upright.

"Perhaps it's some kind of dimensional doorway," Happosai mused as he stared into the column of light still shining forth from the pool, "I wonder…?"

Ranma ate at a leisurely pace while his recent bride shared her portion of the Sukiyaki with Shampoo. Nabiki was hardly ignoring him after all, it was just that an Amazon and her child tended to get the lions share of his wife's attention around the dinner table, not that he could blame her either since he tended to dote a lot on the kid and considered little Lylac to be the next best thing to his very own baby girl, even if he was only a surrogate father.

"My, isn't this a pleasant evening meal that we're all sharing?" Nodoka remarked as she looked around the table, "Akane will be sorry she missed out on her sister's delicious cooking…"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Auntie," Kasumi smiled pleasantly, "Akane said that she was going to enjoy some Sushi in the Raw with Keiko-san at Kodachi's place. I wonder what she meant by that? Isn't the whole point of serving Sushi supposed to be that it's raw?"

Perfume snickered as if enjoying a private joke while Ukyo just favored her with a wry expression. The latter was showing definite signs of her pregnancy now but still had her usual vitality and vibrancy about her. Nabiki just heaved a slightly amused sigh in her naïve sister's direction then went back to feeding a delighted Shampoo, who was breast-feeding her baby. Soun and Genma were too busy stuffing their faces to pay much notice of this exchange of innuendo.

"Well, frankly," Ranma said after being careful to swallow the last of his noodles, rather than suffer a sharp rebuke from his mother for talking with his mouth full, "Akane spends so much time over there that she might as well rent out a room for her and Ryoga. I'm just glad to enjoy some peace and quiet for once…"

As almost anyone can tell you who lives in the Nerima district, those are exactly the wrong words to use when things have been going smoothly for any great length of time. Naturally, the fates showed their hand by having Happosai bound into the room, take one look at his fellow houseguests, then snort, "It figures you ingrates would be starting dinner without me!"

"We did call for you, Master Happosai," Kasumi said politely, "But you weren't around, so I guess we just got hungry."

"Hah!" Happosai growled, "Well, I can tell when my company isn't wanted! It's about time I hit the road again and go on another training mission, so don't try to talk me out of it!"

"Who's talking you out of what?" Ukyo asked blandly.

"Have a nice trip," said Perfume with a sniff.

"No let door hit rump when you leave," Shampoo added.

"Frankly, Master, I've been wondering when you'd be giving us some peace and quiet," Nabiki noted with a sardonic expression, "Too much training of late is taking time away from me having to perform my wifely duties for my husband, Ranchan."

Ranma almost sputtered on his tea when she said that, for beneath the table her hand had slyly found its way onto his lap, and from the way she patted him down below, just out of sight of the others, it was obvious enough what was on her mind for the evening, and just as obvious from the smile Shampoo wore that they would be given a measure of solitude so that the two of them could indulge in their passions without having to worry about waking little Lylac.

Of course, Shampoo would sometimes join them in these nightly forays, in which case Ranma would wind up having to perform for two women, which was ten times more exhausting than any mere sparing match could ever be, not that he would confess to it within earshot of his randy, adoring ladies…

Across the table Ukyo just frowned a bit, considering how her own relationship with Ranma was tied into his four-way marriage to her, Shampoo, Perfume and Nabiki, although she had yet to herself walk the aisle with her iinazuke, and could not do so legally without a bit more preparation.

Perfume sensed her wife's slight hint of jealousy and resentment and just sighed, hoping for the time at the end of the month when the five of them could take a vacation cruise together, at which point Ranma promised he would wed Ukyo (informally since he was already married to Nabiki through terms of Amazon law and a hasty civil service performed the week before in a circus), and by terms legitimize his marriage to Perfume as well, a prospect for which she found herself curiously excited…

"Fine, be that way!" Happosai snapped at seeing the way the others were ignoring him. He reached into his gi and pulling out a hand mirror, "But I'm not leaving to go on the usual overland jaunt, not since I found this beauty in my private collection."

"Huh?" Ranma said skeptically, "So what? You gonna comb what's left of your hair?"

Shampoo's reaction was not so urbane, "Aiyaa! That look like description of ancient Amazon artifact belong to tribe which Great grandmother say was stolen…"

"Stolen?" Happosai cried indignantly, "I'll have you know that she gave it to me when we were both so much younger! Ah…to remember those days when I was a handsome lad seeking to master the arts, and she was the fairest of flowers…not a withered up old prune like she makes herself out to be these days!"

"Who's withered up?" asked a voice just behind him.

"Why you of course, Cologne," Happosai said, then blinked his eyes and whirled about, "Cologne?"

Both Shampoo and Perfume tensed slightly as they turned to see their respective great-grandmother, both of them frowning noticeably as the old woman had yet to earn forgiveness in their eyes for past indiscretions.

"Oh my," Kasumi said, "Welcome back to our house, Honored Elder. I wasn't expecting you to stay for dinner or I would have prepared more sukiyaki."

"Don't bother," Cologne said with narrowed eyes, "I've not come to stay for very long. I just want to take back what's mine, that which was stolen from my house and tribe three centuries ago…miscreant!"

"So it was stolen," Nabiki remarked as she saw Happosai back away from the old woman, then her eyes narrowed as she added, "Then by rights it belongs to Shampoo. Is it very valuable?"

"Priceless," Cologne replied, "The Nanban mirror, a treasured artifact beyond measure with a secret closely guarded by we Amazons for centuries, stolen from me by this fool along with many other treasures belonging to my people."

"And I'm telling you it was a gift," Happosai insisted as he continued to back away, "Oh yes, a treasured momento of our time together during the days of our youth, but which has some interesting properties that I just discovered the other day…" the little man cackled slyly as if enjoying a private secret.

Cologne did not bother to conceal her wrath as her white hair literally stood on end, "I'll ask you nicely just one more time, Happy…GIVE ME BACK THE NANBAN MIRROR!!!"

She took a swing with her staff, forcing Happosai to back away with a taunt, "Hah! As if I'd give it up like that! You're slowing down, old woman, you'll never nail me with such weak attacks, not unless you decide to give up the pretense and…"

"Oh yeah?" Nabiki asked from directly behind him as Happosai found that the mirror had been snatched out of his hand by his apprentice, "Well, try my attacks if you think you're so good."

"All right," Happosai flared, "You've been asking for this all day, Student!"

"Nabiki!" Ranma cried as he lurched to his feet, knowing even his speed would not be enough to thwart the attack that he could sense coming from the perverted old master.

Nabiki barely had time to erect her defenses before she was sent flying backwards out into the yard and into the koi pond. She landed with a splash and felt her body shift genders almost immediately, but even as she did so the mirror in his hand suddenly flared to life and bathed the whole pool in its golden radiance. Unlike with a certain other Ranma, however, he did not immediately emerge on this side of the koi pond…

"Weird," another Nabiki was saying at precisely that moment, standing alongside the rest of her extended family as they gazed at the pillar of light that was still emitting from the irradiated koi pond, "You're saying that thing is a doorway to another dimension?"

"Another time, perhaps another place," said Happosai sagely, "Whatever the effect is of Ranma's having dropped the mirror in the pond, the result is still very intriguing. I wonder if maybe we could cross over there and find ourselves in a very different setting…"

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma-chan said, "How do we make it go away? A thing like that's gotta be dangerous…"

"Hey look!" Akane cried, "There's someone standing inside there!"

"Oh my," Kasumi said, "I do believe you're right. It's a man of some sort…and very handsome."

"Who do you think it is, Saotome?" Soun asked, not having picked up on the peculiar way in which his eldest daughter had said the latter part of her statement.

"I don't know, Tendo," Genma replied, "He sure doesn't look familiar."

"Hey!" Ranma-chan cried as she took a step forwards, "You think maybe he needs help? Is that it? Do you want our help?"

She reached out a hand to touch the light, and the figure saw and matched the gesture. There was a sudden crackling of energies and then abruptly the man staggered forward out into the open as the light from the koi pond died. At the same moment another flash surrounded Nabiki and before she could cry out she vanished, leaving her family to gasp as Soun whirled around and cried, "Nabiki! Where are you? Where did you go to?"

"Right here, Daddy," the strange man gasped as he looked down at the redhead whose hand he was still clasping, "Thanks…whoever you are. That sure was some save. Are you related to Keiko? You look a little bit like her…"

"Huh?" Ranma asked as she looked up into the face of the stranger, seeing familiar brown eyes that were staring around with obvious confusion.

"Hey, where's Shampoo?" the strange guy asked in alarm, then blinked, "When did you get back home, Akane? And where are Perfume and Ucchan?"

"Get home?" Akane blinked, "Who's Perfume?"

"Sounds like an Amazon name," Genma remarked, "But who are you, stranger?"

"Don't try and kid around on me, Uncle Genma," the strange man smirked, "You're not getting out that easily on your monthly loan payments."

"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, "He looks and sounds a little bit like Nabiki."

"Hey, you're right," Ranma-chan blinked her eyes and said, "Nabiki?"

"That's only if you're family," Nabiki-kun replied with a smirk, "For anyone not directly related to me by either marriage or engagement you can call me Kaneda. Now…from the top again, who exactly are you?"

"Ah…Ranma Saotome," the red-haired person replied, seeing the skepticism in the other man's expression.

"Get out of town," the tall man chuckled, "You think I don't know my own husband? Now who are you really? Are you related to my Ranchan?"

"Husband?" came the immediately chorused reaction from all others besides the handsome youth in attendance.

"Right," Nabiki-kun frowned, "Don't any of you know me? Daddy? Pops? Akane, Kasumi, old woman? I'm Tendo Nabiki…um…or maybe I should make that Saotome Nabiki, do you think?"

It was beginning to dawn on Nabiki-kun that something was very wrong here as normally it took her family a little longer than this to manifest a group facefault…

Nabiki was thrown clear of the koi pond and landed on the dirt, rolling a few seconds before coming to a rude stop, feeling badly bruised and battered.

"Ow!" she said to no one in particular, "That hurt!"

"Airen!" a familiar voice cried out.

"Nabiki!" cried an equally concerned Ranma, and before she knew what was about he was bending over her with deep concern in his blue eyes, cradling her shoulders with one strong arm as he poised over her and said, "Are you all right? What happened?"

"Ah…I don't know, Ranma-kun," Nabiki looked up at him in confusion, wondering why Saotome was looking at her in such a peculiar manner, "One minute I was standing there, then all of a sudden…"

"Stupid Pervert Master!" an angry voice declared, "You might have hurt Airen, you no good bad person!"

"Hey," Ukyo remarked to the woman beside her, "Wasn't Nabchan wearing something different before she fell into the pond?"

"That's not the only thing that seems different," Perfume said as her nostrils flared while she seemed to be experience something of a quandary, "The same scent…yet very different!"

"Very true," Cologne agreed, her expression full of puzzlement as there were other things about this Nabiki that did not jibe with her apprentice.

"Huh?" Nabiki turned to look back at the house, seeing a familiar mane of purple hair as she murmured, "When did Shampoo and Ukyo arrive…and who's that with them?"

"Very funny," Ranma said as he gathered her up into his arms, then growled, "No complaints, you got it? I just want to see if you're all right, I'm not trying to imply that you can't handle yourself or nothing…"

Nabiki's eyes were very wide as she found herself being carried back into the house by an obviously much-concerned Ranma. His whole manner towards her was confusing and disturbing, and while it was far from an unpleasant experience to be carried in his arms the very fact that he was treating her like delicate porcelain was confusing her to no end. Nabiki hastily swept the gallery with a glance but saw no hint of Akane bearing any giant mallets.

Then she received the next big shock of the evening as yet another familiar face surfaced from the crowd and said, "Are you all right, Nabiki-chan? I do hope you didn't hit your head on anything landing in that koi pond."

"Auntie Nodoka?" Nabiki's wide-eyed gaze swept over Ranma and Genma, who were both in human and male form respectively, which prompted her to hesitantly ask, "Are you all right with this?"

"What Airen mean?" asked Shampoo, bringing Nabiki's gaze around to see the anxious face of the purple haired Amazon leaning over her with a distraught expression. She put her hands to Nabiki's head and began to feel around before saying, "I no feel any bump or bruise…maybe it shock of hitting the water…"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Ukyo cried, "I just noticed that she didn't change!"

"You're right," said the brown haired Amazon standing closely by Ukyo's side, "She must not have landed in the water after all, either that or the Nanban mirror did something to affect her."

"Or something of that nature," Cologne murmured ominously as she watched this Nabiki slowly take in what appeared to be an unfamiliar situation.

"The Nanban…?" Nabiki was starting to form a rather unpleasant hypothesis as she swallowed and said, "Uh, yeah…that could be it…"

"Never mind all that," Ranma said impatiently as he pushed his way past the crowd and headed for the stairs, "Somebody call for Doctor Tofu. I'll see to it that Nabchan gets some rest first."

"I come with you," Shampoo said immediately.

"I'll join you after I telephone the Doctor," Kasumi began, but Nodoka merely smiled and said, "Don't bother, Kasumi-chan. Leave that up to me, you go and help Ranma and Shampoo to tend to your little sister."

"Thank you, Auntie," Kasumi brightened and fell in step behind Shampoo as they both followed an anxious Ranma, who was still handling Nabiki as if afraid to break her.

For her own part, Nabiki was trying to make sense of why her family was behaving more insanely than usual. Everyone seemed to be utterly concerned about her, basically a nice (if weird) feeling, but not one to which she was accustomed. Ranma was confusing her with his chivalrous actions and the deep emotion in his eyes that clearly said without words, "I will protect you!" Shampoo's behavior was even more of a puzzle as Nabiki could not recall a time when they had gotten along well enough for her to have earned such a look of deep worry. Then there was Kasumi, who had always been close to Nabiki but had never looked upon her little sister in quite **that** way!

It was all very confusing, and Nabiki had few clues to go on in formulating a theory as to why so many things looked different about the place. Her ancestral home had a different décor from what she was used to, and when they got to her room the shock was the loudest there for most of her furniture was missing with only a few commodities and decorations in sight, and no trace at all of her personal home computer!

[What the heck was going on here] she wondered as Ranma lay her down upon the futons that Shampoo unrolled for her benefit. She was just beginning to wonder what had happened to her soft goose-down bed that something belatedly occurred to her and she turned to see Kasumi handing a baby with purple hair over to Shampoo, who accepted the child before baring one breast and offering it to the infant.

She looked from Shampoo to Ranma and said, "Congratulations."

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "What about?"

"This has gotta be a dream," Nabiki said half to herself, ignoring how real it felt to be laying down on that damned futon, "I mean…you and Shampoo. Did something happen while I was out and the two of you went off and got married?"

"Married?" Ranma blinked, "Of course we're married. You think I'd go and do a thing like that behind your back?"

"What Airen mean?" Shampoo asked, looking up from the suckling baby, "Why you think Shampoo and Ranma married already without you, Airen? You is being silly."

"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, "Do you have amnesia, Nabiki? Don't you remember that Shampoo is your wife and that you're the father of her baby?"

"MY WIFE?" Nabiki half sat-up as she stared at her older sister in dismay, "Baby? No way! You've gotta be kidding me…"

"No such luck," Ranma sniffed, "You and Sham-chan definitely married a while back, and at least by Amazon law so are we, not that it's gonna interfere with when we set a wedding date for Perfume and Ucchan…"

"Wedding date?" Nabiki's voice was unconsciously a few octaves higher than normal.

"Well…yeah," Ranma looked both hurt and puzzled, "Don't you remember? Our parents set it up when they engaged us, not that I really mind, having such a cute and talented girl for a wife..."

The shock that registered on her expression must have conveyed to the concerned trio hovering around her that something was very wrong about the picture. The color drained from Nabiki's face and for a few seconds her mouth hung open, eyes wide with shock and disbelief at that pronouncement.

"W-W-Wife…?" was all Nabiki managed to get out before she promptly fainted…

"Whoah!" Nabiki-kun shook his head, "What a rush that was! At least that time portal thingie doesn't seem to have left me any worse for wear. We'll have to fish the mirror out of the pond, of course, but I don't think the Koi will mind, and since I'm already wet…"

"Excuse me," Happosai said, looking up at the strange brown haired man, "But you claim that your name is Tendo Nabiki, but you prefer to also be known by the name Kaneda?"

"I don't prefer it, Master Happosai," Nabiki replied, sweeping the blank-eyed stares and puzzled expressions of the others, "But it's a lot easier to go by that name than it is to try and convince outsiders about my curse. Uh…why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"Curse?" Ranma-chan asked, "You have a Jusenkyo curse?"

Nabiki-kun frowned, "This is getting a little tiresome. Are you people telling me you've completely forgotten? And why is everybody standing around looking like I just grew a second head or something? What exactly is going on here?"

"That's what I want to know," Ranma-chan replied, then gasped in relief as she felt hot water pour over her head, causing her to expand back to his normal size and proportions.

Nabiki-kun was totally shocked by this transformation and gasped, "Ranchan? It was you all along?"

"Oh my," Kasumi said, bringing the teapot over with some reluctance before pouring it over Nabiki's head, causing the handsome man to collapse inward until he resolved into the form of her younger sister, "Nabiki…it was you all along?"

"Thanks, Oneechan," Nabiki said in relief before turning back towards a thunderstruck Ranma, "Now as I was about to say, why didn't you tell me your father took you to Jusenkyo on that last training mission that you and Ryoga took together? What were you thinking after all the warnings I'd given you about that? Didn't you believe what I told you? Wasn't my example enough to convince you that it was a bad idea to even go there?"

"Hah?" Ranma asked numbly, then he recovered enough to say, "Nabiki…you turn into a guy? Since when did this happen?"

"Since nearly a year ago, silly," Nabiki frowned, reading the boy's vivid blue eyes and slowly drawing a nasty conclusion, "You aren't pulling my leg, are you? You really don't remember any of it, do you? None of you remembers it…what is going on here?"

"Nabiki," her father came forward, "Why don't you go inside and lie down? You've obviously very tired, and if something terrible has happened to you and you now are cursed like Ranma…"

"Shampoo!" Nabiki suddenly whirled around in obvious panic, "Where is she? Where is my-where is OUR baby???"

"What?" Akane blinked, "What was that? What are you talking about, Nabiki? What baby?"

"I've got to find her!" Nabiki cried, moving off from Ranma's side with such speed that the sex-changing boy barely had time to blink, and with one powerful leap Nabiki cleared the walls to the dojo and vanished into the night.

"Hey!" Ranma protested, "Come back here! You can't run off like that, I want some answers!"

He hurried to catch up with the middle Tendo daughter, not needing to be egged on in this effort by Soun and Akane. He was trying to figure out how Nabiki had managed that leap, not to mention how she had managed to move so fast before he could think to intersect her. As much as he and Nabiki had always been at odds in one way or another, he still couldn't let her run off and possibly be injured by roaming the streets of Nerima at night. Things could get a little rough in their area and he didn't want a wounded Nabiki to be on his conscience.

It turned out that she was moving even faster than he had imagined, running along the tops of various buildings as she leaped the gap between one house and another. She was moving so fast that even he was having trouble keeping up but he needed to catch up with her so he set himself a hard pace and moved his body with all the speed that he had acquired in a lifetime.

Nabiki was headed in a straight line towards the Furinkan financial district, on an unerring course for a certain restaurant, which was a big surprise to Ranma. He just barely managed to catch up with her as she entered through the front door, boldly going inside unannounced as she cried out, "Shampoo! Where are you? Are you anywhere in here…?"

"Why would she be?" a familiar voice asked, causing Nabiki to whirl about and find Ukyo behind the front counter.

"Ucchan!" Nabiki said in relief, "Thank the Kami you're here! I…" she paused, looking down at Ukyo's abdomen then saying, "What happened to you?"

"Funny thing, Sugar," Ukyo replied with a narrowing of her eyes, "I was about to ask you the same question."

"Nabiki," Ranma said as he came into the restaurant, "What's the matter? Why did you run off like that…"

"Ranchan," Ukyo brightened, "Don't tell me Akane's been cooking again? Want an Okonomiyaki Surprise?"

"Sure," Ranma said absently, "Not a problem. Nabiki…what's wrong? Why are you dressed like that, and why did you run away…?"

"Shampoo," Nabiki came up to seize him by the shoulders, "Where is she, Ranchan? I have to find her!"

"Ranchan?" Ukyo blinked, "Hey!"

"Find her?" Ranma blinked, "Then why did you come here? She usually works at the Nekohanten."

"The Nekohanten?" Nabiki let him go, seeming more confused than before, "Don't tell me there are two restaurants? Why is everybody acting so abnormally, and what happened to Shampoo and my baby?"

"Whoah," Ukyo blinked, "Don't tell me she ate some of Akane's cooking? What did it do to her, give her hallucinations?"

"I don't know," Ranma admitted, "Happosai fixed the Nanban mirror and I was gonna use it to get back to China and find a cure for my curse, only it fell into the koi pond, and the next thing I know is Nabiki here is acting pretty strange."

"The koi pond?" Nabiki blinked her eyes then said, "There was a flash of light when I fell in…that must be it! It must have sent me into the past before you guys remember me…only that doesn't make sense if you're also here, Ucchan. What is this, some crazy parallel dimension?"

Ranma blinked, "You think so?"

Nabiki looked at him sharply again and said, "Where is this Nekohanten? Can you show it to me, Ranchan?"

"But…why would you want to go there?" Ranma asked in obvious confusion.

"Because I need to get some answers," Nabiki said flatly, "And I assume that Cologne also works at this other place or is nearby so I can consult with her?"

"Well, yeah," Ukyo said hesitantly, "But help you with what? What do you mean by a parallel dimension? Is this like in all those Anime vids or something?"

"Something is definitely very wrong here," Nabiki frowned as she turned back to Ukyo, "Can I trouble you for a glass of water there, Ucchan? And some hot water?"

"Huh?" Ukyo asked, but when she saw the firmness in Nabiki's stare she calmly took a glass and filled it, then held it out to Nabiki, who accepted it then splashed herself with its contents, prompting Ukyo's eyes to go wide as she witnessed the transformation, "N-nani?"

Once again Ranma found himself looking up at a taller version of Nabiki, a male Nabiki that outweighed him by more than a few kilograms and strongly reminded one of a younger version of Tendo Soun. This Nabiki-kun was incredibly handsome and charismatic (if a little bishonen for his tastes) and looked strong enough to lift Ranma with one hand had he the inclination.

"The hot water, please?" Nabiki asked, accepting the teapot that Ukyo had seemed to keep near the stove for some reason. He had to ask the astonished chef twice before Ukyo snapped out of her daze and passed him the hot water, which Nabiki used to restore herself to normal.

"That's better," Nabiki sighed, "Now…can either of you show me to the Nekohanten?"

"Uh…sure," Ranma said reluctantly, turning around to head out the front entrance.

"Wait up you two!" Ukyo called out as she vaulted over her counter, "I was about to close up anyway, and there's no way I'm going to sit back and hear the end of this later."

"Suit yourself, Ucchan," Nabiki replied, managing to recover from her own surprise at discovering that Ukyo was no longer pregnant, which only increased her anxiety and made her wish more than ever to find Shampoo and her baby, or possibly Cologne so she might sit down with someone intelligent who might be able to advise her on how to undo the current situation…

"What do you suppose was up with Nabiki?" asked Ukyo while she and Perfume helped out by cleaning the living room table of its empty bowls and dishes, "Was she looking pretty stressed out to you before Ranma took her upstairs?"

"She sure didn't behave like the Nabiki we know," Perfume agreed, "But she had the right body-scent and mannerisms so I don't think she's an imposter."

"Maybe not an imposter," Ukyo frowned, "More like a different version of the Nabiki we know…softer, less hardy, almost like she's lived a sedentary existence when I know for a fact that she's been intensely training for as long as we have…"

"Excuse me," a voice said, causing them to turn around in time to see the huge furry form that was leaning against the wood frame of the patio entrance, "I need help…quick…I've got to find Tendo Nabiki, do you know where this might be? It's very urgent…"

"A-werewolf?" Ukyo asked as Perfume flexed her arms and was suddenly holding a pair of broad axes.

"Technically yes," the fearsome furry creature that looked like a dog or wolf standing on its hind legs, "But I won't harm you. My name is Talbain…John…Talbain…"

That was all he managed to get out before collapsing to the floor of the chamber, a dozen arrows sticking out of his body at various angles. Ukyo looked at the creature then at Perfume, then back at the body again, then as one they both sighed and moved forward with the intent of dragging him outside where they could begin to get some answers…

"Ohhh, what a dream I just had, or should I say a nightmare?" Nabiki said as she at last regained consciousness, finding herself as before in the room of a person who seemed to live a lot more Spartan existence than that to which even she was accustomed.

"How are you feeling, Daughter-in-law?" she heard Cologne say and turned to regard the wizened old Amazon gnome regarding her with a most peculiar expression.

"Daughter-in-law?" Nabiki gulped, eyes going wide once again, "Ah…fine, not counting the fact that everything in my life seems to have gone completely crazy. What the heck is going on here? Am I dreaming all of this, and what was all that about me being married to Shampoo and engaged to Ranma?"

"There is quite a bit more to it than that," Cologne began, "Perhaps you might help us to understand you by telling us what passes for normal in your outlook?"

Nabiki turned to see the worried expressions of not only Ranma, Shampoo and Kasumi but of her father, Genma and Nodoka, not to mention the baby held in Shampoo's arms, which definitely proved that she had not been imagining the previous moments before she had fainted.

"Ah…well," she replied with a curious reluctance, "First off I'm not engaged to anybody, at least not that I'm aware of-let alone married!-and secondly, the last I checked it was Akane who was Ranma's iinazuke…"

"Akane?" Ranma reacted, "No way! That'd be like marrying my own sister!"

"Son," Genma chided, "It's probably just a reaction to something the mirror did to her. Nabiki would never forget her promise to unite our families and carry on the Anything Goes tradition, or the commitments you both share and for which you each worked so hard to forge."

"That's right," Soun agreed, "And as designated heir to the Anything Goes school she will be a wonderful wife. Even Shampoo agrees with this…"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo nodded with a smile, "Nabiki Airen make Shampoo much, much happy, and since Ranma marry Airen he become Shampoo's second husband…"

"Hold it!" Nabiki sat up, "Time out! There is where I passed out the last time, people, so if you don't mind me saying so, I need to take this one step at a time…so explain to me again how I wound up in the Twilight zone with everything gone completely crazy!"

"Do you mean to say you don't remember promising yourself to my son, Nabiki-chan?" Nodoka asked in confusion.

"I mean I don't remember squat beyond that funny light in the koi pond when Gramps knocked Ranma into the drink, so please humor me and explain all this again. I'm married to BOTH Shampoo AND Ranma?!?"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo replied, scooting forward on her knees to present the bundle in her arms for Nabiki's inspection, "You no remember marry Shampoo, surely you remember Lylac, our daughter?"

"Our…?" Nabiki gasped as the bundle was carefully placed into her arms, and before she could think to protest she gazed down at the innocent face of a sleeping infant…a child with purple locks of hair, probably no more than a few weeks old at most and very tiny.

"Oh my," Kasumi said as she came to join them, "That isn't how you hold a baby, Imoutochan. Here, let me show you…"

No one had noticed that Kasumi had been holding a glass of water in her hand until she brought it forward to "seemingly-accidentally" spill it over Nabiki's head, gasping as she did this, "Oh my! I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to…"

Kasumi came to an abrupt halt and gaped as Nabiki gasped, "What did you do that for, Sis? Who did you think I was, Ranma?"

"Huh?" Ranma gasped, "You didn't change!"

"Change?" Nabiki looked at him with a sinking sensation that she was not going to like the answer to her next question, "Change into what?"

"Into my Son-in-law," Cologne replied, the only one present who did not appear surprised at Nabiki's non-changing status, "It's as I feared…you are not our Tendo Nabiki."

"Aiyaa!" Shampoo cried, snatching the child back out of Nabiki's hands and clutched the baby close to her bosom, "You no real Airen? Who are you? What you do with Airen?"

"Huh?" Ranma looked from his Amazon wife to Nabiki and back again, "What do you mean she's not our Nabiki?"

"Calm yourselves," Cologne spoke firmly to head off a sudden avalanche of protests and exclamations from the others, "As I was about to say this is not the Tendo Nabiki that we know, but it most assuredly is Tendo Nabiki from somewhere else. It seems the Nanban mirror has exchanged our Nabiki with a different version of the same woman, albeit one who does not have the Curse of Jusenkyo."

"Jusenkyo?" now Nabiki really did know that she wasn't going to like hearing this, "Don't tell me I turn into a…?"

"A man?" Kasumi replied, "I'm afraid so, Nabiki-chan. Whenever you get wet with cold water you become a man…a very manly man, with strong, broad shoulders, a powerful frame and such a cute little…"

"I-I get the picture, Oneechan," Nabiki wondered just what the other version of her did look like to have this kind of effect on her normally aloof sister. It did not help when she tried to distract herself by turning to look at Shampoo, who was still cradling the baby, "Then I…I went to the Amazon village and got into a fight with Shampoo…and I wound up getting married?"

"Then you do remember?" Ranma asked hopefully, his expression not unlike a puppy dog as he sought to find the woman he thought had been his blushing bride of almost a week running.

"No," Nabiki replied, almost hating herself for having to quash that hope as she continued, "I was just making a guess. You mean I really did marry Shampoo…and I…and I…" she turned and looked at the baby that Shampoo was still holding.

"Who you?" Shampoo asked in confusion, "You look and sound so much like Airen…but you no Airen of Shampoo? You do know Shampoo where you from, hai?"

"Uh…sure," Nabiki replied, "I know a Shampoo where I come from…but she's not engaged or married to me, more like she's after Ranma…"

"Huh?" Ranma asked, "Why is that?"

"Because obviously you were the one who went to Jusenkyo and got the curse," Cologne replied, "Then you and your aimless father stumbled into our village and wound up challenging my great-granddaughter for her title."

"What?" Ranma reacted, "You're telling me I turn into a girl? No way!"

"But how did this happen?" Kasumi asked, "I thought Nabiki was fostered with Uncle Saotome so that she could learn the Saotome School of Martial Arts while Ranma trained with our father…"

"What?" Nabiki turned to her, "Are you serious? I went on that training mission with Genma? What kind of an idiot is this other me anyway?"

"Hey!" Genma reacted, then winced as he saw the looks turned his way, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You want a short list, dear?" Nodoka asked him.

Shampoo's eyes narrowed and her tone flattened like a cat's ears, "You is kind, thoughtful, considerate person whom Shampoo love more than life itself, and Shampoo no want hear anyone call Airen baka, no even if you is like Nabiki-chan I know!"

"Easy Shampoo," Ranma urged, "This has gotta be a lot to take in if she's not really our Nabiki…and I can't believe I just said that! Not our Nabiki? This is crazy!"

"No argument there," Cologne replied, "But it nonetheless begs the question of how we return you to where you properly belong AND retrieve the Tendo Nabiki that we know from where she has ventured…"

"Great-Grandmother!" an unfamiliar voice called from the doorway, "Is Nabiki well enough to come downstairs? There is someone asking to see her…"

"Tell them they must wait, child," Cologne replied, "We have a bit of a crisis right here at the moment."

"But Ucchan thinks you should come see this yourself, Elder," the brown haired Amazon Nabiki had caught a glimpse of before replied, "And I agree with my Airen that it is very urgent."

"Oh, very well," Cologne sighed as she moved towards the door, "But this had better be important…"

"Who is that?" Nabiki asked.

"Perfume?" Ranma asked, then gave a nervous laugh before adding, "That…might take some explaining…"

"Perfume is Shampoo's adopted cousin," Kasumi helpfully supplied, "She's also married to Ukyo, Ranma's other iinazuke."

Nabiki took a moment to digest that then looked towards Ranma, who gave her back a sheepish smile that made him look particularly boyish, "Other iinazuke?"

"Well, yeah," Ranma winced, "But originally it was Dad's idea, not me. He worked it out with Ucchan's father, I never even heard about it until the day I met her, almost a year ago as a matter of fact."

"What you complain about?" Shampoo eyed him with a saucy expression, "You no like idea you soon be husband four women? Shampoo think you no look too, too unhappy about idea…"

"Wait, wait," Nabiki waved a hand, "FOUR women? Does this mean Kodachi…?"

"Kodachi?" Ranma had a sudden guilty look about him, then sighed, "Nope, afraid I bombed out there. There was a time when I'd have given anything to have her just smile at me…but…well, she's seeing someone else right now, which I guess is for the better."

"And…Akane?" Nabiki asked hesitantly.

"What about Akane?" he shrugged, "That engagement's been over for almost a year now, and it never would have worked out for us anyway. We're too much alike, which is why I tend to think of her more like my little sister."

"Akane was engaged to Ranma when they were both six, which is why Ranma was fostered with us in the first place" Kasumi explained, "But now she is engaged to marry Ryoga, whom Akane loves very much. Of course she also spends a lot of time with Keiko and Kodachi, but she takes Ryoga with her sometimes, so I guess there's nothing wrong with that…"

There was another long hesitation before the young girl named Nabiki could react to this

"Then…who is the fourth woman Ranma's engaged to?" she asked, feeling a little light headed.

"Perfume-cousin," Shampoo replied, "She Ukyo's wife, so naturally Spatula girl marry boy she bring cousin with her."

"Ukyo's…wife?" Nabiki repeated, then rolled up her eyes and once again fainted…

"So you're saying you fell into the pool, but it was Nabiki who got changed?" Ukyo shook her head, "Even for you guys that sounds weird, Ranchan."

"I know," Ranma grumped, "I just know Akane's gonna say that this is all my fault and pound me for it, but with the way Nabiki's acting…we gotta go find Cologne and see if she can explain this."

"How much farther?" Nabiki asked, when she caught sight of a sign and said, "Nekohanten? You mean that's it?"

"Yeah," Ranma said, "That's where Shampoo and her great-grandmother work, but before you go in there's something you ought to know…"

Nabiki did not wait to hear his explanation, she fairly flew across the street, headed for the doors of the fabled Cat Café of Nerima.

"What the…?" Ranma turned his head to track her hasty movements, then he said aloud, "And they call me impulsive…"

"I dunno, Ranchan," Ukyo remarked, "There's something about her that makes me think she ain't used to taking directions from anybody. Pretty-take charge, even for Nabiki."

"We gotta go in there before…" Ranma started to say when they heard a loud, "AAAIIIYYYEEE!" followed by an equally loud crash and the sound of breaking furniture, to which he winced and said, "Never mind," and started running with Ukyo hot on his heals.

As they came charging into the room they saw Nabiki sitting up from amid a pile of broken tables and chairs, one cheek very red with a hand print and she was wearing a terribly hurt expression as she plaintively cried out, "Shampoo?"

"You no touch Amazon like that, you pervert girl!" Shampoo cried, "What you think you do come in here and embrace Shampoo? You crazy, sneaky girl think Shampoo let you hug in manner of Ailen?"

"Shampoo, leave her alone!" Ranma called out, "She's not in her right mind! Nabiki…"

"Ailen?" Shampoo's whole attitude changed as she saw him, going from shock and anger to utter delight as she bounced from where she had been standing to put her arms around him in an enthusiastic hug, "Wode Ailen!"

"Hey!" Ukyo immediately objected.

"Shampoo?" Nabiki's voice trembled with shock, hurt and dismay as she started to get back to her feet when all of a sudden the arms of Mousse wrapped around her in a hug as the man himself cried, "Shampoo! I love you-!"

Nabiki never even turned around as her fist shot up into a palm strike that caught the Chinese boy under the jaw and lifted him up off his heals to slam his head against the ceiling of the restaurant. Mousse fell back down to earth, quite unconscious, and took his former place amid the ruins of chairs and tables.

"Back off, Monkey-boy!" Nabiki snarled, "Or I'll tell Kurumi that you stopped using your contacts!"

"Wow," Ukyo blinked, "Did you see that? She beat Mousse one-handed!"

"It was pretty good," Ranma replied while trying to pry himself loose from Shampoo. It was, of course, about this time when Cologne came out to investigate the disturbance.

"What's all this?" Cologne turned from the familiar sight of her great granddaughter trapping her husband in an Amazon glomp with Ukyo standing close by burning holes with her gaze and instead focused on the more novel sight of Tendo Nabiki, who was manifesting a battle aura. That got her attention right away as she said, "Oh dear me…what has happened to you, child? You look as if you lost your best friend, or has the Tokyo Stock Exchange gone into another slump?"

"Shampoo…" Nabiki's tone was stricken, but with great effort she turned to regard Cologne and said, "Honored Elder, please help me! Something happened to me and I don't know how to undo it!"

"Indeed?" Cologne took notice of the head-shaped hole in the ceiling directly above the middle Tendo sister, then calculated trajectories and glanced at the motionless form of her sometimes hired help and came to a few conclusions. Turning about she said, "Come with me to the rear of this establishment and explain your story. I should be most interested in learning the particulars of this curious matter."

Nabiki took one last forlorn look at Shampoo then obediently followed the elder. Where else could one do when the world itself had turned utterly crazy…

Cologne followed Perfume out onto the back porch from where she was able to spot Ukyo standing over a figure laying face-down in the dirt with many arrows protruding from his backside. The amazing thing that immediately caught Cologne's interest was not the mere fact that the figure appeared to still be alive-though that in itself was amazing-but that by its hairy mane and inhuman features this clearly was no ordinary man but rather a Werewolf, and one she recognized with no need for formal introductions.

"John Talbain," Cologne said aloud, "To what do we owe the dubious pleasure?"

"Matron Cologne," the Werewolf in question grunted faintly, "Forgive me…if I don't get up…but would you please remove these things from my hide?"

"Most certainly," Cologne replied, "Perfume, would you kindly extract the arrows from my esteemed colleague here? He can't be very comfortable in that position."

"But Elder…" Perfume started to protest, but when she saw the look Cologne gave her she immediately nodded, "Yes, great-grandmother."

Cologne turned her gaze towards Ukyo, whom she knew was the reason for Perfume's evident reluctance. For her benefit, as well as her adopted heir, she said, "Talbain is a member of a very ancient tribe to which the Amazons owe a very ancient pact. He comes from a long line of Lycanthropic individuals who have passed down their curse through so many generations that the ability to shift from animal to human form is as natural as breathing. Have no fear that he will do anything rash with me standing nearby to assure that the alliance is honored…"

"Yeah, whatever," the Werewolf grunted faintly, "Just get on with it, will you?"

Perfume knelt down beside the Werewolf and crossed her arms as she summoned up her Chi. She gazed down upon his furry hide as if to peer beyond the limits of his body, and then with a summoning cry she performed a modified form of the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, her hands blurring as they plucked out the arrows, holding half a dozen in either hand with the metal barbs intact even though they were clearly designed to fragment upon impact. Talbain grunted once at this quick extraction, then sighed in relief, "Not bad…she did that almost as smoothly as you could."

"Perfume has always been a very fine student," Cologne said with evident satisfaction, her tone hardening to an edge as she added, "Now perhaps you might care to explain why someone tried to use your hide for a pin-cushion?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea," Talbain replied with more strength as his tail started twitching, "I was having a friendly argument with an old enemy when our party got busted by some clowns who mistook me for a Vampire ally. Lucky for me they were vampire hunters, or those tips might have been coated in Silver."

"Amateurs," Cologne said dismissively, "Shall I guess the party you encountered, or am I presuming too much of the situation?"

"It was him all right," Talbain said as he sat upright, "Dimitri Maximof. He's in the neighborhood and up to no good. I was coming here to warn you people about that when he ambushed me rather sudden-like, and then the both of us got ambushed."

Ukyo and Perfume were gaping in mutual surprise as they saw the Werewolf struggle to obtain his footing. Already the wounds in his hide had closed, and very soon the fur smoothed over to cover where his wounds had been. A few more seconds after this he seemed fully restored to whatever it was that passed for normal with him. To all appearances he looked just like a wolf, albeit a wolf standing on its hind legs with paws that had opposable thumbs, and he stood close to seven feet in height with very broad shoulders, giving him a kind of dignified bearing unusual in an animal of almost any regular species.

"So Dimitri is here in Japan," Cologne said thoughtfully, "Why did you seek to warn me?"

"A mutual friend of ours said he might be looking up one Tendo Nabiki," Talbain replied, "You know Dimitri, he's always out to improve his power base by mastering the abilities of talented mortals who come to his attention. Well, it seems your protégé has come to his attention, so naturally he wants to check her out, find out what she's made of and maybe even absorb a little of her essence…"

"Absorb her essence?" Ukyo said with a queasy expression.

"Dimitri's a rogue Vampire," Talbain started to say, "Outcast from the major clans and…"

Of a sudden Perfume interposed herself between the Werewolf and Ukyo, hissing as she flexed her hands, which were suddenly filled by double-bladed axes.

"Uh…what's with her?" Talbain asked warily, "I didn't mean any offense…"

Ukyo placed a hand on Perfume's shoulder and said, "Per-chan's just reacting in type. She's really a sweet person most of the time, but a little overprotective. Down, kitty-cat, let the nice Doggie tell us about this threat to Nab-chan…"

"Kitty-cat?" Talbain asked with a puzzled expression.

"Jusenkyo," Cologne replied.

"Oh," Talbain as if that one word was all the needed explanation, "Sorry to hear that, I hear those Curses are a real bitch. I had cousin who went there…well, never mind about that, the point is that Dimitri is a really bad-ass Vampire who doesn't play by any rules but his own, and if he has his sights set on your friend, then you'd better take steps to protect yourself, like maybe go into hiding, preferably on some other planet."

"Our mutual friend," Cologne remarked, "Legion?"

"Yeah, Frank's the one who sent me," Talbain replied, "He didn't know how close Dimitri was or he might have come himself. Those two go way back, even farther than with me. I'd know he'd like to nail a piece of the old bloodsucker to his trophy wall, but…then again, who wouldn't?"

"Okay," Ukyo said, "So you're saying Frankenstein sent you to help us out with Dracula…"

"Oh no," Talbain replied, "Vlad wouldn't have anything to do with Dimitri after that scum drew an extra Ace during a game of poker. There's just something a gentleman can't overlook, you know? Anyhow, I'll be in the neighborhood if you people need me, but I can't be of much use just hanging around out here like a moving target for those Vamp-hunters. Times like this I wish Donovan Bane was the type to carry a Pager or a cell phone, but I'm all you've got right now, unless Felicia manages to make time with her own devices…"

"Oh my," Kasumi's voice caused everyone's head to turn around, "Do we have more company? I do wish someone would tell me these things in advance so I could prepare enough tea for everybody."

Talbain reacted in character and whistled, "Who is that honey?"

"That's Kasumi," Ukyo frowned, "Be nice, she's virtually the center of this household."

"Wouldn't think of being anything but nice," Talbain managed a polite bow with a sweep of one paw as if to add flourish, "You grace us with your beauty, gentle lady. Thank you for your offer of hospitality, but I must sadly be off on other business."

"Well, thank you, Mister Werewolf, but I…" was all Kasumi managed to say before Talbain turned away from her and sought the distant skyline.

With that, the Werewolf gathered his strength and effected a powerful leap that carried him out onto the roof of their household. Another two bounds later carried him over their wall and then he vanished into the night with as little fanfare as his entrance.

"Oh my," remarked Kasumi, "We certainly do meet some interesting people in this district."

"Indeed," Cologne tacitly agreed with that understatement, "Was there something you wished to tell us, Child? I would have expected you to be looking after your displaced sister."

"I was going to," Kasumi replied, "But when Doctor Tofu arrived they sent me down here to make some herbal tea. It really is very odd how people act so funny whenever Doctor Tofu pays us a visit. He really is such a sweet man, even if he does seem rather eccentric for a physician."

Ukyo and Perfume exchanged amused looks, knowing perfectly well why it was a very bad idea to have Kasumi in the same room as Doctor Tofu. Normally he really was a very fine physician, but whenever the eldest Tendo daughter was in his presence…well…some fates were just too gruesome to be contemplated…

"Okay," Nabiki tried once again, "Let me take this from the top. You're saying that I'm married to Shampoo AND Ranma and have a Jusenkyo curse that turns me into a guy, which is how that other me and Shampoo wound up having a kid together, but Ranma's also engaged to marry Ukyo, who's already married to an Amazon named Perfume, who somehow managed to get Kuonji pregnant? Am I with it so far?"

"Yes," Ranma nodded, "That's the deal with us. I know it sounds a bit strange…"

"Strange?" Nabiki looked at him blandly, ignoring Doctor Tofu's admonitions about not letting herself get too upset, "Strange doesn't even make the down payment! Try effing unbelievable!"

"Language," Nodoka titched, "There is a minor present. You don't want to be setting a poor example for your counterpart's daughter?"

Nabiki pointedly ignored that question and resumed, "So you're also telling me that you don't have any interest in Akane, and the fact that she's engaged to marry Ryoga doesn't bother you in the slightest?"

"Why should it?" Ranma asked in obvious confusion, "She seems happy enough with him, and if Ryoga's right for her why shouldn't I be happy?"

"But…what about his little problem?" Nabiki tried to delicately hint at the sensitive subject that she was certain would doom any hopes for Ryoga with Akane.

"Little problem?" Ranma blinked, "You mean the fact that he gets lost all the time? Well hey, it's Akane's business, and if you wants to deal with that…"

"You mean he doesn't have a Jusenkyo curse?" Nabiki came right out and blurted.

"Jusenkyo?" Soun replied, "You mean the Ryoga of your world changes into something else?"

"Probably a warthog," Shampoo sniffed.

"Now Ms. Tendo," Tofu gently admonished the Amazon, "You really don't mean that about your future brother-in-law."

"Yes Shampoo do," she said crossly, "Him have temper of wild pig, and tusks to prove it!"

"Ah…okay," Nabiki decided to drop the subject and went on, "You don't have a Jusenkyo curse either, Ranma-kun, and neither does Shampoo, so it's pretty obvious that our worlds have very different histories, at least as far as it concerns our family situation. So I'm the designated heir in this world and a top-notch martial artist…"

"The best in all Nerima," Genma said proudly, "Save only for my son, and I was the one who trained you both."

"You were also the one who knocked me into that Cursed Spring," Nabiki said narrowly, then after receiving the satisfaction of seeing him wince she glanced around the room and said, "So…what's my other self like, other than the heap of praises Shampoo here's been spelling out? Am I any good with money, and if so…why do I live like a hermit?"

"Hermit?" Ranma almost laughed, getting to his feet as he walked over to one wall panel and flipped it over to reveal a seventeen-inch flat-screen monitor with built-in keyboard. He slid another panel to one side and revealed a computer PC tower. He tapped a button to power it on and it booted within a minute, revealing a wallpaper image of the family crowded together on the back porch as if captured from a group photograph.

Nabiki's eyes got very wide and then she said, "I've got the money to afford this?"

"This is nothing," Genma replied, "You got resources even I don't know about from your investments stocks and security bonds. While we were traveling together you managed to accumulate a lot of raw capitol…"

"Much of it gained through illegal gambling and numerous swindles you both engineered," Nodoka said crossly, causing Genma to wince a little.

"I…did all that?" Nabiki got to her feet and came to stand beside Ranma staring at the homemade screen saver. She eyed him curiously then said, "PC and not Mac?"

"You said the Macs available all had software compatibility problems," Ranma replied, "You got a good deal from a friend of a friend. All I know is that the warranty's good for five years and you've taught me how to do some basic stuff like call up your slide charts and monthly tables of earnings for the dojo."

Nabiki stared at the picture more closely, seeing Tatawaki Kuno and Kodachi standing alongside Natsume, Kurumi and a curious redhead who looked a lot like Ranma's cursed form. There was even Mousse standing beside Kurumi, and the Amazon named Perfume positioned right beside Ukyo who was standing over Shampoo, who was in turn sitting down with the nursing baby in her arms, and right beside her…

Was Nabiki!

Nabiki stared at her counterpart, seeing the face of a young girl with a knowing smile that could have been hers in all respects but one, a mirror image of her own trademark sardonic smile…that one respect being the way she was leaning over Shampoo while Ranma hovered protectively over them both. The impression this image conveyed was of a very happy, close-knit family with clearly defined ties and stable romantic relationships…almost the complete opposite of what she was accustomed to in her own life.

"Who took the picture?" she asked with faint dismay in her expression.

"Hinako Sensei," Ranma replied, then glanced nervously over his shoulder before coaching his voice in a low, conspiratorial tone, "She's been coming by pretty regularly now…and I think she's got an interest in Uncle Tendo…I mean your father. I really shouldn't say anything about it…"

"Right," Nabiki could not help noticing a slightly cross expression in Nodoka's usually charming features, so she turned back to the picture image and said, "What about this redhead? If that's not you, then who is she?"

"Keiko?" Ranma replied, his expression suddenly a mixture of shy embarrassment and mild irritation, "She's an old buddy of yours from middle school who came to stay with us for several months, but she now lives over at the Kuno mansion."

"With the Kuno's?" Nabiki blinked, "What is she, Kuno's girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "Uh…no, it's Natsume who's seeing 'Tachi-san on the sidelines. She's been helping to nurse him back now that he's out of drug rehab."

"Drug…?" Nabiki blinked, suddenly putting two and two together and drawing some interesting conclusions.

"Keiko's…with Kodachi," Ranma said with obvious reluctance, "They're pretty much inseparable these days, and not just because they share Jusenkyo curses."

"Wha…?" Nabiki paused before asking her next question, "Is this the part where I should save time and faint now, or are you telling me that Kodachi's having an affair with another woman and they both have the same Jusenkyo curse?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, "Uh…no, that isn't what I was gonna tell you."

"Oh, good," Nabiki relaxed.

"Keiko turns into a vulture," Ranma continued, "'Dachi-chan turns into a ferret."

Nabiki had one of those severe moments when she was certain that the universe was having a good laugh at her expense. It took her several efforts before she was able to say, "Y-You called her 'Dachi-chan???"

"Uh…yeah," Ranma winced like a little boy who had been caught raiding the cookie jar red-handed, "I…ah…used to have this really big crush on her-but I'm all over it now, honest! It's not like she'd ever take the time to even notice I'd existed back when I was stuck with that engagement to Akane, and just because she's the sister to my best friend…"

"Wha--wha--what…?" Nabiki sputtered, "Best friend?!?!?"

"Yeah, 'Tachi," Ranma replied, "We've been best buddies for almost seven years now, which is how I first met Kodachi…ah…why are you looking at me like that, Nab-chan?"

This time it was Doctor Tofu who caught her before Nabiki could hit the floor, "I think that's enough dramatic revelations for my patient right now, people. I think everybody had best go downstairs and give her time enough to rest and reflect on what you've been telling her or it's very likely she's going to be suffering severe psychological trauma."

"You're quite right, Sensei," Nodoka replied, "Everyone back downstairs, including you, Ranma. Leave your iinazuke in the care of her qualified physician until she's ready to hear anything more about our world. I, for one, would like to hear more about the world she comes from. By all signs so far she seems like a very nice young girl, if a bit high strung."

"All right," Ranma said with obvious reluctance, putting an arm around Shampoo as the two of them glanced back at Nabiki, whom Tofu gently laid back down on her futon. As an afterthought he closed down the computer, slid the panel back down and restored appearances to normal. After all there was no reason to add further trauma by showing her the quarterly earning sheet, which were projected to be off from earnings goals by a whole eight percent for the third quarter. That just wasn't the sort of news that his Nabiki would take with good graces…

"And that's my story, Elder," Nabiki said forlornly, "I don't know how I came to be in this place where everything is so…wrong! Shampoo doesn't love me, we don't have a baby together and Ranma's still engaged to my violent, short-tempered sister. Ukyo doesn't even know who Perfume is, and Ranma's the one with the Jusenkyo curse, not me."

"I see," Cologne remarked from where she stood atop the table eyeing this VERY different version of Nabiki, "So, in other words, you are my Son-in-law in your world and you are engaged in an Amazon Group Marriage with Ranma, Ukyo and…Perfume," she sniffed as if in mild disbelief, "To think that a child deemed unfit to become a warrior by her own mother should grow to become our Tribal Enforcer. What a waste of talent that I did not see her potential sooner…"

"Excuse me?" Ukyo managed to close her mouth, having left it hanging open during the five minutes it took for Nabiki to explain what passed in her world for normal, "You're saying I've got an Amazon wife who got me pregnant with Instant Nanniichuan water, and I've agreed to share Ranchan with you and Shampoo? But that's crazy!"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo said wonderingly, "Spatula girl right for once…Shampoo no agree share her Airen with any woman! How she stand being engaged to Airen of weak girl who despise her when she little?"

"Do not be too hasty," Cologne cautioned, "I was reserving the option that we might agree to a shared custody of Son-in-law should his ties to Tendo Akane prove too strong for us to dissolve. Of a certainty it is better than the alternative, which is to have you wed Mousse…"

"Aiyaa!" Shampoo cried, "No even joke about that, Great grandmother!"

"Yeah," Ranma growled, "And what do you mean sharing custody? I ain't marrying nobody, especially not two women who hate each other as much as Shampoo and Akane!"

"Yeah," Ukyo growled, "Besides, Ranma is marrying me and nobody else, you got that?"

"Says you and what cavalry division?" Shampoo got to her feet and glared sparks at Ukyo, who seemed more than ready to meet her half way.

"Ladies! Please!" Nabiki begged, turning to look at Ranma as she said, "You can't be serious about marrying Akane, Ranma. You'd be dead by the end of the month, if not sooner!"

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma frowned.

"I mean you two are like oil and water," Nabiki replied, "You're both stubborn as mules, thick headed, hot-tempered, rude to the point of obnoxious…shall I go on?"

"Hey!" Ranma belatedly protested.

"And you think yourself a more desirable alternative?" Cologne asked with a thoughtful expression.

"Well…yeah, now that you mention it," Nabiki looked mildly ruffled, "I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I think Ranchan deserves to marry somebody with brains who isn't about to pound him flat every time he says something rude or thoughtless. Either one of these girls would make a better match for him than my little sister, and confidentially, I think Ranma and me make a great team on my timeline. He may have more than his share of faults," she leered, "But what he's got to make up for it more than compensates in my estimation, if you get my meaning..."

Now Ukyo and Shampoo glared uncertainly in her direction, but neither one seemed entirely sure of what to make of the announcement of another potential rival. Ranma just looked outright uncomfortable and confused by the whole situation and sought to ease the tensions of the room by saying, "Can we get back to how Nabiki got changed by the mirror? And what do we have to do to get the old one back?"

"Well, obviously if we are to restore the balance and get young Miss Tendo to her proper time and place we will need to find the Nanban mirror," Cologne said, "You did remember to take it out of the koi pond where it fell, did you not?"

"Ah…" Nabiki exchanged looks with Ranma, who rubbed the back of his head with one hand and said, "I kinda had other things on my mind…"

"Assuming it is still there, it must be retrieved immediately," Cologne replied, "At the very least, it is dangerous to leave a thing like that just lying around, no matter the distractions."

"You're right," Nabiki said, "It was careless, and if it could exchange me with my other self, it might do the same thing to someone even more unsuspecting."

"Then we've got to find it," Ranma said, "Maybe it's right where we left it…"

"Assuming the old man didn't find it first," Ukyo suggested.

"Hiyaa," Shampoo agreed, "No telling what evil old pervert master do with Mirror that send him anyplace he ask."

"I just hope someone on the other side has enough sense to safeguard their mirror," Cologne said, "We will need both of them to effect the transfer."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Nabiki asked, already heading for the exit, "You guys coming?"

Ranma blinked, "Hey, wait for me!"

Ukyo also blinked and said, "This Nabiki sure has a lot more spunk than the Nabiki we know."

"Aiyaa," Shampoo agreed, "She almost act like…Ranma."

As the two young girls and ancient old crone left the restaurant a figure emerged from the shadows, flanked by another who hovered over her like a shadow within a shadow.

"Interesting," said the young seeming girl to her silent companion, "This unexpected development could work to our advantage. Come, Lamia, we must away to the Tendo estate."

The tall man-like figure in the heavy cloak wearing a mask that obscured his face made a Kabuki-like gesture and the shadows folded in upon the pair, causing them to vanish as if they had never been, with no one nearby to take notice of their absence…

Kasumi was deeply concerned about her little sister, which was far from unusual for her, but in this case was motivated by other issues beyond the ones to which she was normally motivated. It was one thing to have improper feelings about the male half of one's own sister, it was quite another thing when your sister exchanged places with someone else who did not seem to have Nabiki's strong ability to adapt with unusual circumstances.

Being a careful and tidy sort, it had naturally occurred to her that the mirror was still lying in the koi pond, so she went to fetch it right after coming downstairs and seeing Mister Werewolf. With all the people coming and going from their house it was natural that she should take care of an important item that might be critical to her Nabiki's restoration.

Finding a mirror in a fish pond was not as simple a task as might be supposed, but Kasumi had lots of practice using a net to find items that were always being lost whenever someone fell into the pool, which had happened with surprising frequency ever since Nabiki and Ranma's father had returned from their training mission.

Kasumi found the Nanban mirror and quickly dried it off on her apron, giving an apologetic smile to the koi who came to investigate her activities. She began to straighten up with every intention of returning to the house when she found someone standing in her way. She looked up the length of his night-dark clothing and saw a face that was long, sharp, angular and unfriendly with reddish eyes that seemed to glow, and all at once she felt herself grow very sleepy.

She began to sag into the strange man's grasp as he caught her up in strong arms with hands that were large. His smile bared wicked teeth that he seemed ready to use upon her unprotected throat when a sudden sharp sound caused him to move on the instant. With inhuman speed he caught the hurtling broad axe one-handed, then turned about to see the one who had thrown it baring its twin counterpart with a feral snarl upon her lips and murderous intent in her flashing blue eyes.

And beyond her another girl wielding what looked like an enormous baker's implement in both hands in a stance and posture that more than adequately implied her competence with same (though the bulge that she sported around her abdomen clearly indicated a pregnant condition). He was instantly both amused and intrigued as he swept the tall girl up in his arms then casually tossed the axe back at the woman who had thrown it, seeing her catch it with ease when another person would have been split right down the middle.

"Another time, ladies," he said, then vaulted into the night, levitating away as the little Japanese garden soon dwindled into a mere speck of light amid the darkness.

"Kasumi!" Ukyo cried out as Perfume hesitated to throw another axe for fear that she might harm the eldest Tendo sister.

"What is it? What happened?" cried Ranma as he came running out to join them, followed by his parents and Mister Tendo.

"Some guy just made off with Kasumi," Ukyo told them, "Perfume and me tried to stop him but he just flew away! I mean, the guy wasn't human!"

"That's putting it mildly," said the Werewolf, who alighted into the garden and said, "Sorry I was too late, that bastard slipped right around me before I even knew he was in the district."

"You!" Perfume whirled about with both axes held at the ready, "You were standing on guard! Is this your idea of helping?"

"Easy, Pussy-cat," Talbain made a warding gesture, "I screwed up, no need to rub my nose in it. It wasn't my idea to invite the big bad Vamp over for dinner…"

"Kasumi!" Soun cried, "Where is he taking her? What is he going to do with my little girl?"

"That all depends with fang-face," Talbain growled, "If she's lucky he'll just kill her outright, if she's not lucky he might turn her into one of his servants…"

"What?" Soun looked shocked by the Werewolf's bluntness, "H-he'd hurt my little girl? Kasumi!" he wailed and fell down on his knees weeping profusely.

Talbain eyed the elder Tendo warily and murmured half to himself, "Kinda emotional for a human, isn't he?"

"You have no idea," Perfume commiserated.

"Easy there, Tendo," Genma patted Soun on the shoulders, "We'll get her back, don't you worry."

"Leave it all to us, Sir," Ranma tried to sound reassuring, "We won't let anything happen to Kasumi. And what did that guy take her for in the first place? And who the heck are you?" he added the last part in Talbain's direction.

"In answer to the second question, it's not relevant, Junior," the Werewolf replied, "As for the first part it's obvious he took her for either a hostage or as motivation."

"Motivation?" Ukyo asked.

"Dimitri Maximoff doesn't do stuff like this without a reason," Talbain replied, "He wants something, and my guess is it's your iinazuke, the girl I really came all this way to protect. Figures Dimitri would go for a secondary target of opportunity while I had my eyes on the big picture. If only I had some of my pals here we could probably take the old bloodsucker. Good thing I've got a pretty good idea where he'll go to stage his ambush."

"Ambush?" asked Ranma.

"That Challenge letter Nabiki received a while ago," said Genma, "Wasn't the name on that challenge supposed to be from someone named Dimitri?"

"Hey, you're right, Pop," Ranma exclaimed, "I never even thought of that! That must be the guy who issued the challenge to Nab-chan!"

"Only our Nabiki isn't available at the moment," said Nodoka, "And without her to stand up for the challenge…"

"There'll be nobody to go and rescue Kasumi," said Ukyo in dismay, her expression mirrored in the faces of many of those around her.

"What do you mean nobody?" Ranma scowled, "Kasumi's like my own big sister. Ain't nobody gonna hurt her while I'm around…"

"I know that, Ranchan," Ukyo hastily amended, "But that Maximoff creep is expecting to go up against Nabiki, and if he doesn't get his way…this is terrible! What are we going to do?"

"We'll go ourselves," Perfume replied, "YOU will stay and look after Nabiki, Airen."

"Hey," Ukyo frowned, "Since when did you start calling the shots in this marriage? I thought I was supposed to be the dominant partner."

"That was before you got pregnant," Perfume said simply, "And that makes me your protector."

"Oh yeah?" Ukyo glared at the Amazon, "And who was it got me like this anyway, pray tell?"

Perfume did not flinch as she stood her ground and said, "Exactly. You are a great warrior, Airen, but there is no way that you can endanger yourself and OUR baby."

While Ukyo was silently fuming over that Nodoka turned to Ranma and said, "Go upstairs and tell Shampoo that we'll take care of everything. She must stay close to Nabiki and her child and see to it no stranger enters or leaves uninvited."

"We?" Ranma asked his mother.

"I'm coming along for this," Nodoka said firmly, a dangerous glint in her eyes as she added, "I helped raise Kasumi and watched her turn into a wonderful young woman, and there is no way I am leaving her in any kind of danger. I have promises of my own to keep to her late mother."

"Nodoka-chan," Soun said tearfully, "I can't begin to thank you…"

"Thank us after we get Kasumi back to you safe and sound old friend," Genma nodded, "We're going after her now, so everybody who can grab some holy water and some weapons…"

"Holy water?" Ukyo blinked, "Where are we going to get stuff like that at this time of night?"

"We will improvise," said Cologne, who had just arrived on the scene with Happosai, "I take it from your attitude that we have arrived too late to be of assistance? I told you the matter was urgent, old fool, but you had to stop in and raid that bathhouse…"

"Hey," Happosai shrugged, "At my age I need an occasional recharge."

"Elder," Perfume called out, "The creature we were warned about has taken Kasumi…"

"Has he now?" Cologne's eyes narrowed, "Very foolish of him. We will of course improvise a plan, as my Daughter-in-law would herself engineer were she present and able. Dimitri is powerful and dangerous, but like all his kind he has weaknesses that can be exploited."

"But there's not much time to act," Talbain said, "If there's any hope at all for your friend, then you'd better follow me now. I won't slow down for any laggards."

"So who is stopping you?" Perfume asked, "You go, we will follow."

"For what it's worth I hope the lady is all right," Talbain said before added as he vaulting away, "Not too many human girls I know would have the guts to call me Mister Werewolf…"

"Can we trust him?" Ranma asked as the werewolf vanished into the night.

"We have no alternatives," Cologne replied, seeing Nodoka return from a brief jaunt into the house to retrieve his family katana, "And you have a job to do. I believe your mother gave you specific instructions?"

"Uh, yeah…right," Ranma said sheepishly, then vaulted onto the roof of the building and headed for Nabiki's window…

"I'm all right, really, Tofu-Sensei," Nabiki assured him, "I think I'm past the worst of it now…just a little light headed with all these sudden changes."

"I think you should still take it easy for a while," Tofu said with gentle firmness, "It can't be easy for you to have a whole different world from what you're used to experiencing dropped suddenly in your lap…"

"Huh…" Nabiki snorted, "You got that part right. I mean…this isn't a bad sort of dream for me, you know. Everybody's so nice to me, and they seem to actually care about what happens. I'm…not used to this much attention back home…in fact I'm kind of used to being ignored," she paused before adding, "And forgotten about, and treated like part of the woodwork…"

"Surely it can't be all that bad for you," Tofu tried to sound reassuring.

Nabiki sniffed and shook her head, "I'm afraid it's as much my fault as anybody's, Sensei…I never let anyone get too close to me, or give them much reason to like me. I'm used to being by myself most of the time. I have a few friends…well, colleagues if you want the truth. There are a few people who let me hang around with them, but…there's nobody…" she broke off and looked away, thinking of the way Ranma and Shampoo had first gazed upon her with adoring expressions.

"Ailen…"

Nabiki turned to see Shampoo standing by the door looking at her as if uncertain of her position. She gave Tofu a glance chock-full of meaning and the man at once took the hint and said, "Right, no problem at all, then. I'll be just down the stairs if you need me, be sure you don't shake her up any more than you already have, Ms. Tendo."

"Shampoo…I will be mindful, Sensei," Shampoo reassured him, then she came into the room as Tofu packed his things and left. She knelt down beside Nabiki's bed and tried to smile in a reassuring manner, but her eyes were full of all sorts of emotions, which made it that much harder for Nabiki to read her.

"Ms. Tendo?" Nabiki ventured to ask after a very awkward moment.

"Hai," Shampoo replied, showing a ring on her left hand that bore a huge diamond, which made Nabiki's eyes widen like saucers, "Airen's family adopt Shampoo when she come live here as Kaneda-wife. Kaneda is name of husband on…certificate? That is word?"

"A marriage certificate?" Nabiki blinked, "So…in other words the male me goes by the name of Kaneda?"

"Hai," Shampoo smiled all the more deeply, "Shampoo take name of Tendo. Amazons no have family names, so I is Tendo Shampoo, and daughter is Tendo Lylac."

"Um…" Nabiki pursed her lips before asking, "Where is the kid?"

"Lylac sleeping in crib now," Shampoo replied, pausing before adding, "Shampoo very sorry I treat you so bad before when she…when I snatch her out of your hands. I no think you imposter now, even if you very different from my Airen."

"And…it doesn't bother you being married to another woman?" Nabiki asked hesitantly.

Shampoo's smile was all the answer one might have needed, but the Amazon nonetheless added, "You sneaky girl, you very clever, but you no fool Shampoo, think you no like other girls? You more alike Airen that you think. Besides…Kaneda-self more than enough man for Shampoo to be happy."

Nabiki was not used to feeling so exposed or so helpless in front of another person. She felt naked and transparent before this Shampoo, who was lightyears more perceptive than the Shampoo she knew in her own world. The way this one kept giving her THE LOOK…well…it left little doubt that she was wondering herself how much similarity there was between Nabikis. Her counterpart had obviously shared a great deal of herself with this girl, which made it plain that they were close in ways that Nabiki had never dreamed of being with anyone. It made her feel uncomfortable…but in a nice sort of way. It made her want to know so much more about the life her other self shared, so with some delicacy she asked, "What are your feelings about Ranma?"

"Him good man," Shampoo nodded, "He make you very good husband. Shampoo no mind share Airen with boy who fight with heart of Tiger and soul of Dragon."

"The two of you do seem to get along pretty well," Nabiki paused before adding, "I'm not sure if my Ranma would go along with this multiple-marriage thing you've got going. I don't think he'd feel comfortable sharing Akane with someone else, he'd probably think it was unmanly."

"Then more fool him," Shampoo sniffed, "Shampoo no mind sharing Airen because Airen share Ranma with her, and he much man in Shampoo's eyes. Shampoo no even mind sharing with Perfume cousin's Airen. Ucchan very brave warrior, very pretty, and Shampoo see how happy she make Perfume, which makes Shampoo very, very happy."

Nabiki blinked her eyes to that and said, "Guess there's more to this than I thought, huh? Listen…I'm sorry I took the place of your husband...er…wife…ah…?"

Shampoo reached out and took Nabiki's hands in her own, "It no you fault. Shampoo no blame you for accident. Shampoo…overhear you say to Tofu-Sensei that you no have anybody who love you in you world?"

Nabiki uncomfortably flinched under the compassion in tone, expression and gesture the purple haired girl was giving her, and the intimacy of the question caused an unfamiliar pain in her chest as her stomach tightened a little. She wondered if these were more side-effects of the transfer, but suspected otherwise as she replied, "Ah…no…to tell the truth most people are afraid of me…"

"Afraid of you?" Shampoo asked in obvious confusion.

"Of what I might do," Nabiki sighed, "I manipulate people and get them to do what I want. I blackmail them for money and extort from them for favors, I spread rumors, I make bets, I…doublecross some people when I think they're trying to screw me…"

"So?" Shampoo asked, "Airen do all those things. She never hurt anyone who no deserve it, and she make sure everything run fine at high school."

"I run Furinkan High School?" Nabiki blinked, looking to the side, "That would sure surprise some people I know back home…"

"Why you tell Shampoo all this?" the Amazon asked her, "You think maybe you shock Shampoo she no like you?"

"Ah…" Nabiki had the distinctive impression that the Amazon had just seen right through her, and it compounded the discomfort she was feeling. Turning her gaze back towards the luminous reddish-brown eyes of her counterpart's wife she pursed her lips before saying, "I guess maybe I was afraid you wouldn't really like the real me. I've never tried to make myself that likeable…it just wouldn't feel natural for me to act like one of those ultra-cute Burikko girls who always try to make themselves popular with the guys…"

Shampoo's hand brushed gently against Nabiki's cheek as she said, "You no have to. You everything that is dear to Shampoo. What I know I love, what I not know I will love. That is Amazon way, and it is good way for Shampoo. Maybe good if Nabiki no try to be alone so much of time. Maybe you find you like be close to someone who like you."

Nabiki swallowed, now VERY uncomfortable to be in the same room with this version of the Amazon. This Shampoo was just so…nice, and so beautiful it hurt to look on her. Nabiki had always thought the Chinese girl was a fox with an excellent body and a personality so baby-doll like that it made her wonder at times how Ranma could resist her. The fact that this was someone else's wife-HER wife but for the glory of the Kami-was the only thing that kept her from fully enjoying the attention she was receiving from someone who obviously cared. No one but Kasumi had ever shown such kindness towards Nabiki…no one but Kasumi…or their mother.

But then another question came to mind, and Nabiki had to struggle with herself, to gather her already tattered nerves before asking, "Um…just how much of a marriage is this? I mean…you, me and…Ranma?"

Shampoo's softly adoring expression took on a sensual gleam that made her smile into a leer and her eyes dance with a merriment that was unrestrained and entirely wicked, "Hai, we very, very good in bed together, Airen. At first only Nabiki-Airen and Shampoo share bed, but then Ranma defeat Nabiki a week ago and now he lawful husband to both Shampoo and Nabiki-Airen. Ranma much, much man…he very…what is word for it? Very good in bed…proficient? Yes…especially him master Kamasenken, make him overnight sensation thanks to training he receive with help from Perfume-cousin."

Nabiki's mind began to swim with possibilities best left unmentioned and all of a sudden she wanted nothing so much as a cold shower to restore her nerves. The thought of making love to Shampoo was by itself a startling revelation, but Ranma? That idea nearly caused a "TILT" in her thinking that forced her to re-examine so many long-held assumptions that it was not even funny.

Of course, one part of Shampoo's comments did prompt her to ask, "Kamasenken?"

"Yes," Shampoo nodded vigorously, "Ranma is Master of the Senkens…he learn Umisenken and Yamasenken from father, then he create Honosenken, Arashisenken and Kamasenken with help from perverted old master, also learn Kosenken and Morisenken from study with Ryoga and other boy named Ryu."

"In other words he learned or created eight different versions of the same system?" Nabiki blinked, "Um…what exactly is this Thousand Fist school about anyway?"

"It about thinking of body like a house," Shampoo revealed, "Each Senken represent different element, but Kamasenken is about learning ways of pleasuring woman's body. Ranma learn make nice, nice feelings all over wife's body, Airen learn to appreciate Ranma-Airen, just as Shampoo much, much appreciate way Ranma make special love with her own body…"

"W-Whaaat?" Nabiki gaped in disbelief, "Ranma-kun…makes love…to…?" she gulped.

Just then there came a rapping at the window and both women looked up to see the subject of their private girl-talk perched above the ledge there there. He slid the window open and let himself in then said, "Mom wanted me to tell you guys that we're going somewhere right now and we want you guys to look out for any trouble."

"Trouble?" Nabiki knew that word always followed Ranma around like a junkyard puppy.

"What is wrong, Ranma-Airen?" Shampoo asked, "You seem very worried."

"It's about Kasumi," Ranma started to say before slapping himself and saying, "Ah…forget I said that. Look, just lock everything up and don't let anybody in here, especially if they look something like a vampire…"

"Vampire?" Nabiki sat upright, "You've got to be kidding…" then she stopped herself as she saw his expression, considered the long list of surprises that she had already confronted in one day and said, "On second thought…maybe not."

"Vampire?" Shampoo puzzled over the world, then realization dawned on her and she said, "Oh, you mean…" and she used a word that Nabiki knew roughly equated to an Undead creature, "That very bad. If one has Kasumi she in much, much trouble. Shampoo get dressed, come with you."

"Ah-no!" Ranma said a bit too hastily, "It's all right, we've got enough people to handle this. You gotta stay here and look after Nab-chan and Ucchan and the kid. We can't take the chance that someone else might show up here while the rest of us are away."

"You try treat Shampoo like weak girl again, Airen?" Shampoo stood up and confronted him, making Ranma sweat before she sighed and conceded, "You probably right. Spatula girl in no good shape to fight, and you need Perfume to help you, so I look after Ailen of cousin."

"Ah…excuse me," Nabiki got to her own feet, "I don't mind staying behind, but if it involves Kasumi, then I want to get involved. I don't want anybody to hang back for my sake, but maybe you could tell me what this is all about, Ranma-kun? Who would want to kidnap my sister?"

"Ah, just this guy," Ranma grimaced, "His name's Dimitri something…"

"Dimitri?" Shampoo blinked, "Like name on challenge letter given to Airen?"

"Challenge letter?" Nabiki asked, "You mean the other me received a Challenge Letter from a Vampire?"

"Hey, weirder stuff's happened," Ranma shrugged, turning back towards the window after giving Nabiki another one of those patented looks that seemed to place her welfare near the top of his priority list, "We'll be back with good news as soon as we find Kasumi. See you!"

As he disappeared into the night Nabiki closed her mouth and turned to look at Shampoo, "Let me get this straight…if I were the me that I'm supposed to be, then it would be me leading the charge on this rescue?"

"You always take charge," Shampoo replied matter-of-factly, "It like second nature."

"But the challenge was issued to me," Nabiki said, "What happens if I don't show up and this goon is holding Kasumi to insure that I make it?"

Shampoo shot an alarmed look her way then turned back to the window as if the thought had not occurred to her until Nabiki raised it. Almost as one the two of them replied to the question, "Oh my…"

Tofu was surprised to find everyone gathered out on the back porch looking ready to travel, save for Ukyo, who was standing to one side fuming about something. Since she was the only one not currently doing anything he directed his question towards her, "Ukyo, what's going on?"

"Tofu-Sensei," Ukyo seemed to wage a private war within herself then she replied, "It's about Kasumi, she's been taken hostage."

"K-Kasumi?" Tofu replied, and for once his glasses did not fog up as he pronounced her name. In fact, his normally bland expression of geniality grew hard and light glinted off his glasses as he said, "Tell me all about it…"

Continued

Comments/Criticisms/Darkstalkers Pest Control: Shadowmane@msn.com