Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Three Iinazuke too Many... ( Chapter 15 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Nani?" both Ranma and Nabiki responded in chorus, looking at Kuonji Ukyo as if the young man had taken leave of his senses.

"Iinazuke?" Ranma said slowly, "But…you're a guy!"

"You think so?" Ukyo sniffed, "What do you think, Nab-chan? No word for an old friend? You used to have a lot to say when we were playmates together."

"Ah…Ucchan…" Nabiki hesitated. There was something bothering her about Ukyo's appearance, some nagging detail that had heretofore escaped her attention.

"Shampoo not know what word mean," Shampoo said irritably, "Only want know why Airen spend time with boy. Nabiki forget she make commitment Shampoo? And why you kissing?"

"Kissing?" Ukyo asked.

"How could you know about…" Ranma gasped turning to Nabiki, "Commitment?"

"Ah…long story, Ranma-kun," Nabiki replied, "Shampoo, this is all a very big misunderstanding…"

"Shampoo know," Shampoo squared her guard again, "And you make it!"

"Hold on, Sugar," Ukyo urged, "Let me see if I can get this straight. You're seeing this chick, Ranma? What's she to you?"

"My iinazuke," Ranma answered.

"There word again," Shampoo said crossly.

"But you're promised to me!" Ukyo replied, "A stupid promise, I know, but…didn't your father ever tell you?"

"What?" Ranma blinked, "Promised to you? Why would dad promise me to another guy? I'm not like that!"

"Ah…Ranma-chan," Nabiki said as everything fell into place, recalling something Akane had said to her on her first day back, coupled with her own memories of the Ukyo she once knew back in middle school, "Take another look at Ucchan…see what I see?"

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked, "What about him?"

"Him?" Ukyo repeated.

"She has no Adam's Apple, Ranma," Nabiki almost let herself express her exasperation, but in truth she could hardly call Ranma thick witted, having all but forgotten this clue for most of her time around Kuonji Ukyo, who was so good at pretending to be a boy that even Nabiki had been fooled…up to a point.

There was a noticeably long pause before Ranma stammered, "H-her? You mean…you're a girl?"

"Have been all of my life, stupid," Ukyo snorted, "My father betrothed me to an idiot…"

"Her, him, what problem?" Shampoo asked impatiently, "No matter Shampoo, he still no business have with Airen. No like you kiss her!"

"Jealous girlfriend, huh?" Ukyo sniffed, "Hey, Nabiki, I didn't know you and Keiko had that much in common."

"You mean Keiko…?" Nabiki blinked.

"Ran into her a couple weeks ago," Ukyo said, "She told me you had a family living in Nerima, that's how I managed to find you. Just arrived the other day and was thinking about looking you up when I saw you with this guy, so I stuck around until I heard you call him Ranma."

"Wonderful," Nabiki growled, "I'm going to have a long talk with that girl. I might as well be passing out maps to strangers showing the way to my address…"

Shampoo set her other foot down on the floor and looked from them to Ukyo in back in disgust, her Bonbori hanging at her sides as an exasperated look crossed over her lovely features, "What this? We come to fight or talk? You want boy, take boy. Shampoo only want punish Airen for no be faithful to Shampoo."

"Be my guest, Sugar," Ukyo raised her baker's peel and advanced towards Ranma, "I've got a score to settle with boy-chick here. I've been waiting for this for most of my life!"

"Ah," Ranma cautiously backed away, as did Nabiki, "Look, I don't know what this is about. Did my father do something to you to make you angry?"

"Only wrecked my whole life!" Ukyo snarled, "Defend yourself, Saotome Ranma!"

The baker's peel struck out like an axe, but Ranma melted back into a roll and came up, pulling his coat off and unfastening his tie in two quick motions. He tossed them to an astonished waiter and said, "Here, get me a check! I'm gonna be kind of busy…"

Most people who had been dining in the restaurant had long since fled. This waiter was one who had remained behind to watch the altercation, but the sudden realization of impending danger overrode curiosity as he saw the Bakers Peel slice through a table that Ranma had jumped over, splitting it like kindling.

"Come back here and take your punishment, Saotome!" she cried as she followed Ranma, attacking in earnest.

"Be careful!" Ranma called out before he disappeared into the kitchen, "It's a Rental!"

"Ranma…" Nabiki started to gasp when Shampoo thrust one of her Bonbori nearly in her face and said, "You have other worry, Airen! Explain now why Shampoo no pound you for betrayal!"

"Uh, that's a very good question, really," Nabiki asked as she cautiously met the gaze of the other woman, "Why haven't you? Not that I understand what you mean by betrayal. I thought we had an agreement…"

"You agreement?" Shampoo snorted, finding her limited grasp of Japanese failing her, so she switched back to her native language, <"You call that an agreement? I let you go after you showed me what I fool I had been for caring about you!">

<"Ah, look, Sham-chan,"> Nabiki tried not to sound as nervous as she felt, <"I wasn't really acting like myself that day and…AWP!">

She broke off negotiations rather suddenly as Shampoo launched her first attack, swinging her Bonbori with great efficiency as Nabiki dodged in haste, feeling slightly encumbered by the dress that she was wearing.

<"Maybe I should rephrase that?"> Nabiki asked in a weak attempt at humor while she dodged around Shampoo's next attack before coming up under her guard in an attempt to disarm her. Shampoo altered her strategy a bit to counter this attempt, but Nabiki spun low and forced the Amazon to vault away rather than have her legs knocked from under her. She landed upon a table, using the advantage of height to study Nabiki's position.

"You good fighter," she said in her stumbling Japanese, "But we no fight on log this time! Shampoo much better have room to fight!"

"Just tell me why you're so angry, Shampoo?" Nabiki tried once again to get through to the girl, "I never meant to hurt you!"

"No?" she snorted in disbelief, "Did good job, have much laugh at Shampoo! She let you go, but Great Grandmother say it wrong to ignore tradition! Give Shampoo ultimatum, either kill outsider who best her or decide to marry!"

"What?" Nabiki gasped, "What kind of choice is that? I know those are the rules as you explained them--!"

She did not have time to complete that statement before Shampoo was on her again, and in desperation she reached down and yanked the tablecloth out from underneath her. Shampoo fell back but recovered at once, launching herself upon Nabiki, only to find her Bonbori stopped by a pair of metal plates Nabiki had snatched up from the table.

"Shampoo, please!" Nabiki begged as she deflected Shampoo's next attack using the plates, "You don't really want to kill me, do you?"

"No want kill," Shampoo said as she furiously batted the plates out of Nabiki's hand then pressed her offensive, forcing Nabiki to vault backwards into a handspring, "But law say either kill or marry! Nabiki half man, so maybe she special case! Shampoo marry Nabiki as a man, so you Airen!"

"Just terrific," Nabiki murmured, thinking that to herself maybe she might just go ahead and let Shampoo kill her.

Meanwhile Ranma was having a difficult battle of his own against Ukyo, who seemed to consider an all-out fight in the middle of a Chinese Kitchen the ideal choice for a combat arena.

"I'm sorry I called you a guy!" Ranma protested, "But you're dressed like one! What was I supposed to think?"

"Baka!" she snorted as she thrust with the straight edge of her spatula, causing Ranma to duck around behind the oven, "I wasn't expecting you to penetrate my disguise! I've worked for years fooling block headed boys like you into taking me as one of you, and if I didn't want to reveal myself now you'd still think I was a guy! Now come back here and fight me!"

"I keep telling you I don't hit women!"

"Fine," Ukyo snorted, "I don't have that problem!"

"At least tell me why you're really so mad," Ranma asked as he darted around to the side, only to find himself trapped as Ukyo cornered him near the dishwasher area, "It wasn't my idea to force you into some stupid engagement!"

"It doesn't matter," Ukyo growled, "I'm going to prove to my father that I don't need a wimp like you in my life! I'm perfectly capable of beating any guy who thinks he's special!"

"Wimp?" Ranma snorted, then reached for the spray-nozzle over the sink and turned it on Ukyo, who gasped and jumped back as she was sprayed by hot water.

"You idiot!" she cried, "What did you go and do that for?"

"Just checking out a theory," Ranma said as he slipped under her guard while she rubbed her eyes with a free hand to clear her vision, "Guess you really are a girl underneath all that, aren't you?"

"What do you think?" Ukyo snarled as she took a swing at him, only to find that Ranma had somehow perched himself atop her spatula, forcing her to shift her weight in order to support him.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess I should have noticed," Ranma mused with a thoughtful expression, "You are a lot more feminine than I thought. Guess I really do owe you an apology for not seeing it before."

"Seeing what?" Ukyo glared at him as she tried to dislodge him from her primary weapon.

"Well, it's just…you're kind of pretty."

Ukyo froze. Time passed for seven heartbeats before Ukyo managed to get her mouth working again, then she said, "Y-you think I'd believe that?"

"Why not?" Ranma wondered, ignoring her as she dumped him off her baker's peel and tried to take a swing at him, only to have it blocked by an outstretched palm-strike, "It's only the truth, you know."

"The truth?" Ukyo blinked, meaning to sound hostile, but then her tone softened a bit and she asked, "Do you really mean it?"

"Why would I lie about a thing like that?" he asked her.

Anger and suspicion flared in her eyes and she snarled, "Because you'd do anything to save your worthless hide!" and she hauled back to take another swipe at him, which Ranma easily ducked, her baker's peel slicing neatly right through the pillar behind where he had been standing.

"Don't be ridiculous," Ranma said as he straightened up again, "You think I'd say something like that because I'm afraid of you? Get real!"

"Baka!" she snarled, reaching into her vest and pulling out a small bag, which she hurled at him, only to again miss as it exploded into a cloud of billowing flower.

"I'm just saying you'd have to try a lot harder than that if you expect to hit me with any of these moves," Ranma said, "I mean, you're good, but…"

Ukyo threw something else from inside her shirt, and Ranma moved instinctively to catch and deflect three sharp objects that turned out to be miniature spatulas, which imbedded themselves in the walls and floor rather than flesh, as they were meant to.

"Hey, quit that!" Ranma said, "Are you trying to hurt someone?"

"What do you think, Stupid?" she asked as she dipped the handle of her baker's peel into a nearby pot and used it to extract a wad of pasta, which she flipped his way as he dodged the intended ensnarement.

"Well, that's just fine!" Ranma said, "You get angry at me because of some crazy notion of your dad and…watch out!"

Ukyo had not noticed that some of the kitchen staff were cowering near the store room, but one of the Chinese cooks saw an opening and threw the hatchet he had been clenching defensively in one hand at Ukyo, and before she could see the meat cleaver it was nearly upon her.

Only Ranma was there before it could strike and caught it by the handle while Ukyo just blinked, unable to comprehend the speed with which he had moved. When she saw the hatchet she nearly fainted.

"Do you guys mind?" Ranma snapped at the astonished Chinese chef before chucking the hatchet at a nearby chopping board, "We're having a private talk, and there's no reason for anybody to get hurt, you got that?"

"W-why did you just save me?" Ukyo asked, dropping her guard in her surprise at how near she had come to having that hatchet in her face.

"Like I told you, I just want to talk," Ranma said, "There's no reason for us to be enemies just because you've got a problem with both of our fathers. Now why don't you tell me all about what happened between you, Nabiki and my father that's got you so upset with me, and what's with this iinazuke business? I've already got an iinazuke."

"You mean Nab-chan?" Ukyo murmured in confusion.

"Right," Ranma said, "And right before you and the crazy Chinese chick showed up we were having a our first date."

"A date?" Ukyo said, "Oh, yeah…I was wondering about that."

"Come on," Ranma urged, "Let's see what her and that Shampoo are up to…"

"Shampoo, I mean really!" Nabiki pleaded, "This whole thing is ridiculous! I can't marry you…"

"We already marry," Shampoo replied as she readied for her next attack, "You forget ceremony?"

"Oh yeah, that," Nabiki said faintly, then her eyes went wide, "That was a wedding ceremony?"

Shampoo came at her in a rush with both Bonbori crashing down, but since Nabiki was not where she struck it was the unfortunate wall that paid the price of Amazon displeasure.

"I'm going to kill Genma when I see him next," Nabiki growled, "This is all his fault! If he hadn't eaten the stupid prize banquet…"

"You cry over spilled Ramen!" Shampoo snorted as she turned around from having given the restaurant a new side exit, "Too late for excuses! You fight Shampoo or take punishment for betrayal."

"This is getting us no where," Nabiki said, then altered her tactics and instead ducked into Shampoo's guard, disarming the Purple haired girl with carefully placed blows to both of her wrists. Shampoo stepped back rubbing her wrists, then she charged again, this time with fists flying at Nabiki, who blocked them in turn, and the spinning back kick Shampoo attempted to deliver.

"You good!" Shampoo said as she stepped back to examine her opponent, "But Shampoo still make Nabiki pay for tricking Shampoo like you did."

"I told you I wasn't deliberately trying to fool anyone, Shampoo," Nabiki tried explaining once again, "I was still getting used to my cursed form…"

"Some curse," Shampoo snorted as she reached up behind her head and pulled out a pair of twin Butterfly swords from concealment, assuming an attack posture as she again threatened Nabiki, "You good enough fool Shampoo where matters!"

"Uh…yeah, that," Nabiki was very glad that Ranma was not on hand to hear that admission, "Well, I…wasn't entirely in control of my reactions…remember I had something pretty strong to drink…"

"It not effect you so bad you not perform like husband," Shampoo began a complex maneuver with her twin swords and lashed out Nabiki, who backflipped out of the way onto another table.

"Okay," Nabiki said, "So I was really drunk! It's not like you made it easy to keep away…"

"Not supposed to refuse husband, stupid foreigner!" Shampoo said as she used one of the swords to flip a glass of water at Nabiki, "Change to man now and accept you responsibility!"

"Awp!" Nabiki exclaimed as she dodged the splash of water that attempted to claim her. Shampoo sent another glass her way, but this too she dodged, and the pitcher that followed.

"You very stubborn girl," Shampoo sniffed, "You no want be Shampoo's husband?"

"No, I mean, that's not what…" Nabiki tried explaining.

"Hah!" Shampoo kicked another container of water that she had spied on the floor, but even this Nabiki successfully avoided, "Shampoo no think you know what you mean, or you say so!"

"I don't want to be a man, Shampoo," Nabiki said, "That's not who I really am. I don't want to live a lie, and I really don't think you could be happy if you forced me into marriage."

"What happiness have do with?" Shampoo asked as she advanced with her twin swords, "Shampoo no happy. Shampoo best in village, much pride in being Champion, no have friends save for Cousin, just Great Grandmother, and she teach Shampoo much, but no teach to be happy. Then Nabiki-chan come to village. She arrogant girl, challenge Shampoo, beat her, and because he man she marry. Nabiki promise be friend to Shampoo, do much that make Shampoo very happy. Shampoo think, 'So this what happiness is,' and Shampoo like it. Shampoo like strong, handsome, clever Airen, but next morning she change! Is no man at all, is woman!"

"Ah…I can see how that might appear bad," Nabiki conceded as she continued to circle, keeping Shampoo at a distance.

"Shampoo tell you law, you run away. Shampoo no follow until Great Grandmother come back to village," Shampoo's tone became hollow, "Great Grandmother very angry that Shampoo no avenge herself on girl who deceive her. Tell Shampoo to leave and not come back without head of sneaky girl! Shampoo no come back to village without head or husband," she paused for meaning before adding, "Not have be in that order."

"Ulp," Nabiki swallowed, "Would you mind if I talked to my lawyer first?"

"Nothing to discuss," Shampoo said adamantly, "Shampoo no want kill Nabiki, but if you no accept that we married, then must treat you as outsider girl! Either fight Shampoo now or surrender!"

She kicked a piece of an ice sculpture into the air, and her swords became a blur as they chopped the piece to bits in such a way that it melted and became a jet spray of icy water. Even this, however, Nabiki managed to avoid by snatching up a tray and using it as a shield, then she grabbed the end of a table cloth and flipped it at Shampoo, snapping it as she would a whip to knock one of the two swords out of the Amazon's hand. Shampoo hurled the other sword and it impaled the tray Nabiki used to block again. Nabiki tossed it aside as she and Shampoo squared off for another phase of their battle.

"This is nuts!" Nabiki said, "You don't want to kill me, and I sure don't want to fight you!"

"Then take Shampoo life," Shampoo replied, "Only way Shampoo regain honor…" her tone fell, as did her guard as she stood sadly in the middle of the scene of their battle, "Shampoo no want live if she be alone again. Shampoo only want happiness, no have that if she kill Nabiki."

"…" Nabiki replied, for once in her life unable to come up with a clever rejoinder.

The two of them stood facing each other for a time, Shampoo staring angrily at the ground, Nabiki just standing where she was in her ruined dress, her shoes long ago discarded as an impediment to effective combat. That was when Ranma and Ukyo finally appeared, surveying the damage with appreciative whistles before they each approached Nabiki.

"What happened here?" Ranma asked.

"You okay, Nab-chan?" Ukyo asked her.

"Oh, I'm just swell," Nabiki growled in disgust, then sighed again, "Sorry, didn't mean to snap. You two settle your problem?"

"We called it a draw," Ranma replied, "We were just doing more damage to the place than to each other."

"I guess you could describe our fight that way," Nabiki sighed again, but doubted her own words, seeing the misery on the face of the other woman, "Shampoo…"

"Go away!" Shampoo snapped, and everyone could see that she was plainly crying.

"What's her problem?" Ranma asked.

"It's a long story, Ranma-kun," Nabiki said, "You may have heard Keiko's version, but she didn't know all the details."

"She said you met some chick in a village of Chinese Amazons," Ranma looked at the other girl and said, "You're Shampoo, right?"

"Go away stupid boy," Shampoo snapped without real feeling.

"And I thought I had an attitude problem," Ukyo said, "Is she that worked up because she lost the fight?"

"Not this one," Nabiki said, "It was another fight, back when we met. Shampoo's just decided that she doesn't really want to press the issue."

"Is this like that fight you had with Keiko?" Ranma asked, "Did she want a rematch?"

"Not exactly," Nabiki said, "Someone else put her up to this because I unintentionally dishonored her in front of her people. I was…supposed to honor an agreement I didn't even know I'd made. It involved your father, but for once the old panda wasn't entirely to blame. I guess this is something I've got to face up to on my own terms."

"Sounds to me like a lot happened for you in China, Nab-chan," Ukyo noted, "You two going to be friends?"

"No be friends," Shampoo lifted her eyes, which were wet with moisture, "Nabiki Airen. Shampoo no raise hand against you."

"What does that mean: Airen?" Ranma wondered.

"Husband," Nabiki replied, wincing at their predictable reaction.

"NANI?"

"Like I said," Nabiki sighed yet again, "A long story."

"I think you people are all nuts," Ukyo snorted, "If she thinks she's married to you, then why did she attack you?"

"Well, some of the details are kind of fuzzy for me," Nabiki replied, "And it was a strange business, even by my weird standards. The fact is that Shampoo's my wife by the laws of the Amazons…" Nabiki paused, a thought suddenly taking hold of her as she stared at Shampoo and said, "And that means you have to obey me, right? Be a dutiful wife and comply with your husband's wishes?"

Shampoo looked at her in puzzlement, "No Amazon do what man tell her. Husband must stay with Amazon, but Amazon not slave, neither is Airen."

"But I'm not a man, Shampoo," Nabiki pointed out, "I just turn into one every now and then…"

"Say what?" Ukyo reacted.

"Like I said, long story," Nabiki paused before resuming, "And didn't I hear somewhere that when two Amazons form a partnership, the one who is the stronger fighter makes all the decisions?"

"Stronger Amazon have rights as dominant…" Shampoo stopped in mid sentence and looked at Nabiki, "You mean…you accept?"

"I don't seem to have much choice at the moment," Nabiki replied, "If you're in as much trouble as you say, then I just can't leave you here in disgrace. I owe you something for putting you through all this trouble."

"But…you say you no want be Airen…" Shampoo began, almost hopeful.

"Yeah, well, I say a lot of stuff when I don't think things out," Nabiki replied, "But I know that I don't want to see you hurt. We've got to work something out that'll make everyone happy, but we're sure not going to do it standing around in this mess. Why don't we all go back to the dojo and talk it out, maybe come to some kind of arrangement."

"Good idea," Ranma sniffed, "I half expected the cops to show up any minute."

"In places like this, Ran-chan?" Ukyo asked, "They're probably more worried about the health inspectors and immigration."

"Ran-chan?" Nabiki eyed her sidelong, seeing Ranma flinch a little. She turned her mind back to the problem at hand and said, "How about it, Shampoo? Want to come with us so we can work this out like civilized people?"

It was a very long while before Shampoo spoke again, and when she did it was barely a whisper, "Okay. We talk. You Airen."

The last part was spoken with as much finality as resignation. Ranma eyed the girl, then Nabiki, then saw a figure crouched in hiding behind the front counter and went up to the man, holding out his hand.

"My jacket, please? Me and the ladies are leaving."

"You don't suppose we should wait for him to make out a check?" Ukyo asked facetiously, but Nabiki just smiled a weary smile and said, "Why bother?"

She reached down under the slit in her dress and pulled out a wad of Yen that made Ranma and Ukyo stare at her in amazement. Nabiki peeled off several hundred thousand in bills, then handed it to the astonished waiter and said, "Keep the change, and tell your boss we're sorry for bringing disharmony to your business."

"Nabiki…" Ranma looked at her in even greater confusion.

"It's all right, Ran-chan," Nabiki smiled, using the same nickname Ukyo had given, I've got plenty where that came from. Keep your money, you can use it to buy something nice for yourself."

"Ah…how about the next time we eat out?" Ranma glanced around, "Only someplace quieter, okay?"

"Next time?" Nabiki asked a bit faintly, then smiled, "Sure, Ran-chan…no problem…"

Continued

Comments/Criticism/Aspirin: Shadowmane@msn.com