Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ She's What?!? ( Chapter 40 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"So we're here," said Ukyo as she lounged around in the Malt shop, "Where are Nab-chan and Shampoo at?"

"Maybe they went back home," Ranma shrugged, "If they heard about what happened at the rink…"

"I think Tofu Healer no tell everything when we ask," Perfume remarked, "Him say Nabiki meet us here, we meet here. Maybe find out why Shampoo cousin no feel good in ice rink."

"Ryonami's message was pretty terse," Ukyo frowned, "You sure you don't have a clue to what might be up, Per-chan?"

Perfume shook her head negatively, "Shampoo cousin never sick before. Maybe Japanese food no agree with her. Shampoo eat funny before we find Kaneda husband. No sleep well for last week, maybe something no agree with?"

"Well, I sure hope it's nothing serious," Ranma said, "She a nice girl, and I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to her or nothing. Too bad that business with Mikado and Azusa kept us so busy for the last hour."

"Yeah," Ukyo sighed, "I guess I'd feel pretty bad if anything did happen to her. But what about poor Kodachi? I wanted to pay her back for what she did the other week, but this…"

"Perfume think maybe Curse teach Rose girl important lesson," Perfume noted, "Now she know what like to be drugged in cage, she no do to others. Is good…um…word mean we even?"

"I think you mean symmetry, Per-chan," Ukyo smiled, "I guess it is at that. What bothers me is that Mousse creep who's still after me. What do I do about him, other than chop him up, pack him in a box and ship him back to China?"

"That good suggestion," Perfume smiled, "Perfume do if Airen no want get hands dirty."

"Unfortunately that's illegal," Ranma sighed, "Not that I wasn't considering it myself, but there's gotta be a way to talk that guy down from his obsession."

"You mean like you talked Kuno out of chasing Nabiki?" Ukyo smiled as she saw him wince.

"Okay, so maybe it's not that easy," Ranma avowed when they heard a voice call out to them.

"Hey gang, glad to see you got my message! Sorry we're late."

They all turned in astonishment to see Nabiki approaching them with Shampoo bouncing happily at her side. What surprised them was that it was the female Nabiki they saw, not Kaneda, which made Ranma sit upright.

"Nab-chan!" he exclaimed with a bright expression, "You're back!"

"Back to myself you mean?" Nabiki grinned mischievously and said, "Did you miss me?"

"You bet!" Ranma said with enthusiasm, at once making room for her in the booth he occupied. To his surprise Nabiki insisted on letting Shampoo sit down first before scooting on the outside. The purple haired Amazon snuggled in cozily between them with an infectious grin that made the others look at her in surprise and confusion.

"How you get cure for Cat Tongue?" Perfume asked before voicing the unthinkable, "Great Grandmother get careless?"

"Great Grandmother give Airen cure," Shampoo said brightly, "Airen come to new arrangement with Elder, she take away nerve blockage keep Airen from changing."

"Whoah," Ukyo sniffed, "What did you have to do to get the old bag to back down like that? Offer her your firstborn child or something?"

For some reason both Shampoo and Nabiki glared at her and did not smile at the joke. Ranma failed to catch the significance of this and said, "How come you're so happy to see Nabiki back to being female? I thought you wanted her to remain Kaneda."

"What about you?" Shampoo sniffed, "Boy Ranma no like Kaneda for co-husband?"

"What?" Ranma blinked, "Huh? Uh, no, it's not that, I mean…I like Kaneda, I mean…when Nabiki's like that it's almost like she's my best buddy, better than Kuno. I may not go that way, but…well…I've been thinking a lot about it, and if that were the only obstacle to me and Nabiki… well, I'd just think about it…maybe…for her…"

"Ranchan," Nabiki felt touched, "What a nice thing to say. A little weird and disturbing, maybe, but nice. Fortunately it probably won't ever come to that. I'll remain a woman for your sake, but Kaneda's attentions are going to be focused in a different direction for the foreseeable future."

She took Shampoo's hand and squeezed it, a gesture that Shampoo returned with joy as everyone could now plainly see the ring she wore on her left hand, sporting a finely cut diamond.

"Huh?" Ranma and Ukyo said together, while Perfume just stared open-mouthed as Shampoo waved the ring where they could each see it more plainly.

"That's what I need to talk with you all about," Nabiki said, "Since we're in this together, what affects one or more of us affects us all. What I'm going to say may shock and amaze you, but it's very important that you listen and hear me out before making any snap judgements. Can I get your solemn word that you'll listen to me before saying or doing anything too rash, Ranchan?"

"Uh…yeah," Ranma faintly said, feeling his stomach turn queasy, "I promise."

"Good," Nabiki looked down, "Because when I tell you this I'm afraid you may be more than a little upset with me, Ranchan. I care very much about what you think of me, and I want you to know that I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you."

"Okay," Ranma said slowly, his fear growing more intense. Was Nabiki about to give him the brush-off? He could not believe it, not after all they had been through for the past several weeks, and to break off her engagement in favor of Shampoo? That old mummy must have made an ultimatum to force Nabiki to choose, and she obviously had chosen in favor of regaining her own gender.

Nabiki took a deep breath then said, "We talked to Doctor Tofu and…well…Shampoo's pregnant."

Dead silence. Even Perfume was looking at them blankly before seeing the beatific smile on the face of her adoptive cousin.

"N-nani?" Ukyo whispered.

"I'm the father," Nabiki continued, "Or rather my other half is. It happened on our wedding night back in Joketsuzoku."

"Nani?" Ranma finally exhaled.

"B-but…how?" Ukyo blurted, no less in dismay than Ranma.

"You want graphic illustration?" Shampoo smirked, "Airen get lucky."

"Combination of factors, I guess," Nabiki shrugged, "I was just getting used to being male, and here was this pretty, willing young girl who wanted to go to bed with me, and I'd had something to drink and thought, 'What the hell?' and went along with my raging hormones. I thought it was a harmless experiment, I never took anything else into consideration, not Shampoo's state of mind and not the possibility that I'd someday be here having to explain my actions. It was thoughtless and wrong of me, but I can't go back and change anything that's past. I have to accept my responsibility for what I did and move on. That's why I've decided that Sham-chan deserves the husband she wants so very much, and I want her happiness more than anything else in this matter. That's why we went out and got officially registered as Kaneda and wife, giving her Japanese citizenship for as far as anyone else knows. No kid of mine's going to go through life with the stigma of being illegitimate and unwanted."

"Hah?" Ranma said, still trying to get his mind around the concept.

"That brings me back to you, Ranchan," Nabiki sighed, "Like it or not, Shampoo's now a part of my life, but that doesn't mean it's over for us. I still want you as much as I ever did, and not because of any arranged engagement pledge between our parents. I want you as my husband, but I'll understand if what I've just revealed makes it impossible for you to ever see me that way again. I know I've shocked you, but I still love you, Ranma, and you're still my iinazuke.

"And you, Ucchan," Nabiki's tone became more studied, "I won't insult you by suggesting you might expect to profit from these development if Ranma decides he…doesn't want to be my iinazuke any more," she swallowed, "It's his choice to make, but I'm not surrendering him without a fight. For one thing, I went through hell to get Cologne and your father to agree to our present arrangement, and I'm not going to just throw it all away because of one tiny little factor I failed to take into consideration."

"Little?" Ranma asked, making the word itself sound like an understatement.

Nabiki seemed to be swallowing hard before she turned and looked at him, "Ranma, I wouldn't blame you if you yell at me or get angry or call me names or say you never want to have anything to do with me again. This is a lot to ask you to overlook, especially since I need your support more than ever in what's going to be a difficult time for all of us, not least of all because Shampoo's going to become very noticeably pregnant within a couple more months while we get the dojo started. Ucchan's going to have her restaurant to keep her occupied, and Perfume's going to help her out with that. There are so many things we're going to have to do to get our lives in some kind of working order, so if you want to back out now…I won't hold it against you."

Ranma seemed to think it over very carefully, which was becoming more of a habit with him than even he was used to. After a long silent pause he said, "Exactly how far are you and Shampoo taking this marriage thing?"

"Ah," Nabiki glanced down again, then she looked up at him and replied, "I've made a promise to… honor her in every way, Ranma, exactly as a husband should do for his wife. I wasn't sure about this part myself until I looked real hard at…what I had done…" she took another deep breath and said, "…and I came to a pretty surprising realization. I missed having that closeness with Shampoo that we enjoyed on that night…and I guess what I'm trying to say is…we're going to be like that again…"

"Why don't you just say you're going to sleep with her and get it over with?" Ukyo asked her, her tone neither hostile nor friendly.

"Ah, well," Nabiki smiled crookedly, "I don't know how Ranchan would feel about that. I mean…I want to do it with him, but he wants to wait until after we're married, and I respect that. It wouldn't be fair to insist he remain faithful to me while I…do what I'm going to do, what I want to do to be a faithful husband for Shampoo. That's why…well…I guess there's no easy way of saying this, but if Ranma wanted to do it with you…I wouldn't object…"

Ranma thought he was beyond surprise at this point, but he was mistaken. Ukyo just looked at Nabiki, stunned, while Perfume alone seemed to be considering the matter calmly and thoughtfully, and after a moment of this silence she said, "Is good solution. Nabiki-chan make very practical arrangement."

"Huh?" Ranma and Ukyo looked at her together.

Perfume shrugged, "Perfume decide she no mind if boy and Airen make happy. Airen say she stand by Perfume, Perfume happy with this. I no want Airen sleep with other boy or girl not part of group marriage. Perfume want Ukyo-chan be happy. Is Airen's decision. If Airen want boy, I think boy good enough for Airen."

"Shampoo no mind Ranma love Airen," Shampoo looked at Ranma and said, "Ranma have choice, Nabiki-Airen give choice to Ranma. Ranma decide he want stay with Airen, Shampoo be happy. Ranma want leave Airen for Spatula girl, is his choice. Airen no happy, Shampoo no happy either."

"See what we're up against here, Ranchan?" Nabiki sniffed, "You just can't argue with these Amazons, and it's better to love them than to fight them."

Ukyo sighed, "You know this whole idea of yours is nuts, Nab-chan. Bad enough I've agreed to put off marrying Ranchan until after I graduate, but now you're saying you're going to stay married to Shampoo and carry out your marital duties AND take care of a baby?"

"Yes," Nabiki sighed, "That's about the size of it. A real glutton for punishment, that's me."

Ukyo shook her head, "If anyone but you had come up with this crazy scheme I'd have told them to take a hike. I guess it just shows how crazy I am or how far I've let myself get talked into this already, but I guess I'm still in. What the hell, I'm pretty much in the same boat anyway, I just haven't made my girlfriend here pregnant."

"Is still possible," Perfume half smiled, "If Airen want talk to Great Grandmother about maybe visit to Jusenkyo…"

"Not a chance," Ukyo snorted, "But I don't blame you for trying."

Nabiki smiled at her, then slowly turned and said, "So…what do you say, Ranchan? Are still on, or do you want to give me the boot? Either way…I'm staying with Shampoo."

All eyes turned at last towards Ranma, who had been studying their faces, listening to their banter and hearing all their arguments while trying to resolve exactly what he thought about the whole crazy situation. He was still trying to come up with a reply when a voice suddenly cut into their private conversation.

"You!" cried Shiratori Azusa, "You took Charlotte away from Azusa! Give back now or Azusa will get very angry!"

"What do you want, creep?" Ukyo glowered, her hostility suddenly flaring to max level.

"Give Charlotte back or else!" the girl demanded like a six-year-old brat.

"Excuse me?" Nabiki asked, "Am I missing something here?"

"Charlotte! Charlotte!" the girl demanded as she picked up a chair and was about to swing it when Perfume got up and grabbed the girl by her throat, picking her up off the floor and holding her at arms length.

"Perfume?" Ukyo gasped, half-afraid that the Amazon would indeed commit murder.

"Perfume suggest that stupid girl go away," Perfume said slowly and evenly as Azusa went fish-eyed as she stared back at Perfume in terror.

"Please," said Mikado as he appeared at once to Azusa's rescue, "As much as I can understand your feelings, Miss, it would be a great shame if I were forced to find another partner."

Perfume looked at him and said, "You keep girl on leash or I no be so nice again," and she released Azusa, who collapsed backwards under the weight of the chair she had been holding.

"That is a novel idea," Mikado sniffed, "Perhaps I should, but her father would be most upset with me if anything happened to his precious little angel. Still, I think it is a greater shame that a lovely girl such as you should be so distraught to the point of contemplating murder."

He took one of Perfume's hands and when she did not pull away he lifted it to his lips and was about to kiss it when a condiment struck him on the side of one cheek. He glanced down in surprise, then calmly pulled it off to examine it, and then followed the trail back to see Ukyo glaring at him with a very unpleasant expression.

"Kuonji," he same pleasantly, "A novel form of challenge. I take it you have some interest in this lady?"

"She's a friend of mine," Ukyo replied, "I don't like wolves pawing over my friends. You've made your thousandth Kiss quota, now back off or stand downwind."

"Ucchan?" Ranma gasped, while Perfume looked at Ukyo in amazement.

"You know I can't walk away from a challenge like that," Mikado smiled, "If you want a fight, then I'll be happy to oblige you."

"Fine," Ukyo said, "Ranma and me'll take you on anytime, anywhere."

"No!" Azusa said as she got back to her feet and glared angrily at Perfume, "Not Ranma, Azusa will fight you for Charlotte!"

"Fine," Perfume growled, "We fight right now!"

"Don't be stupid," Azusa snorted, "We fight in the Arena where everyone can see Azusa stomp you, silly! You meet Azusa this time next week?"

"Perfume give stupid girl that much longer to live!" Perfume came right back, "I carve you up like wood block!"

"Fine," Mikado smiled, "And if we win will you honor me with a kiss, fair maiden?"

"Kiss?" Perfume blinked, then growled, "You no defeat Perfume and Airen, so no get hopes up."

"Very well, then it's a date," Mikado said, "Koholtz High School is hosting a competition in which we are the star performers. This fits in rather nicely since we have so far been unable to find competitors with the nerve to stand against us. I suggest you practice long and hard with your partner, Kuonji, because the two of you are going to need it."

He turned to leave as Azusa fell in behind him, turning at the last minute to stick her tongue out at Perfume before exiting altogether.

Ranma closed his mouth and said, "Oboy…something tells me this is a very bad idea, Ucchan."

"You're telling me?" Ukyo said faintly.

"Would somebody mind clueing me in on what's going on here?" Nabiki asked in annoyance.

"Why boy and Airen worry?" Perfume asked, "We stomp tail of stupid girl and arrogant boy, no matter where they pick fight."

"Uh, Per-chan?" Ukyo replied, "You do realize that this competition is going to involve skating?"

"Is special kind of fight?" Perfume asked before her eyes got very round and she said, "Nani…?"

"She's what?" Kodachi gasped as she shook Keiko forcibly in the bath until the redhead's teeth began to chatter.

"Calm down!" Akane urged, "It's not like it'll do anyone any got to get angry!"

"I am calm!" Kodachi released Keiko, who splashed back in the tub as the Black Rose turned around and looked desperately at Akane, "This is a joke, right? A little jest of yours to make me think your sister and Kaneda are one and the same people?"

"I'm afraid the joke was the one I let you believe," Akane said sorrowfully, "I've very sorry, I didn't think you'd react this way. I never meant for you to get the wrong sort of ideas, 'Dachi…"

"You think it's funny?" Kodachi demanded, "I threw myself at her feet and acted like an idiot because I thought she was a man I could actually be with! How dare you play with my feelings that way…"

"Hey, where do you get off acting so high and mighty?" Keiko asked, "It wasn't Nabiki who…"

Kodachi rounded on her and slapped her face. Keiko was so surprised she stood there looking at Kodachi in confusion. Kodachi seemed surprised at her own action and slowly put her hand to her mouth, feeling tears begin to well in her eyes as her emotional resolve started to crumble.

"'Dachi," Akane looked down, "I'm so sorry…this is my fault, I should have let you in on the truth right away, but then you started going on about how Kaneda was the one you'd always dreamed about, and I just thought, like an idiot, that it'd be a good joke to play on you…"

"You were right," Kodachi said numbly, "It was a very good joke. I hope you are proud of yourself."

Keiko felt her face where she had been slapped, still stunned as she saw the sorrow on Kodachi's face. For a moment, she could say nothing as Kodachi played out a series of emotional states, recalling in her own mind the way she had acted and thought on the subject of Kaneda.

Finally Kodachi sighed, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to overreact like that. It was inexcusable and I should not have yelled at you or slapped you. I'm sorry."

Keiko lowered her hand and sighed, "Well, I wasn't exactly thrilled about you going after Nabiki's male form that way. Think what she's felt like for the last couple of weeks. I think you got a bit out of hand with your courtship…"

"I know," Kodachi said softly, "Perhaps…perhaps because I have never really found a man who seemed so perfect for me. Most people I know avoid me, the ones I really care for…reject me. My father…I have not seen him in four years, but we did not get along very well. He was never there for me where it would have mattered, and mother…"

"You don't have to say anything," Keiko sighed, "I've heard the story."

"Kodachi," Akane wept quietly.

Kodachi turned to Akane with tears of her own and said, "I'm sorry about yelling at you. I guess you thought it was best to let me go on in my ignorance. I certainly would not have listened to you before. Now that I know about the curse…I'll be much more tactful around…Kaneda. Small wonder that Amazon girl has treated me like dirt…" her eyes went wide with new realization, "She's married to Kaneda? But that means…"

"Nabiki's her Airen," Akane sighed, "The laws of Joketsuzoku require an Amazon to marry or kill the outsider who defeats her in battle."

"Oh my," Kodachi said, "How does this affect her relationship with Ranma?"

"It's complicated," Keiko said, "Apparently Nab-chan worked out a deal with Shampoo's Great Grandmother and Ukyo's father that allows them to balance all three relationships together while the parties involved continue their education. Ranma remains Nabiki's iinazuke while Nabiki is Shampoo's wife, or something funny like that. Ranma actually has two iinazukes while Ukyo and Nabiki try to settle which of them is the better claimant. Meanwhile Ucchan has to contend with her own Amazon problem…"

"The girl who turns into a cat," Kodachi said, "Perfume is Ukyo's wife?"

"Seems like it," Keiko sniffed, "Personally, I think Ucchan is starting to warm up to the idea, against her own moral objections. She still wants Ranma, but it seems Amazon laws to allow two female Warriors to share a man without compromising their significant others…"

"I see what you mean by complicated," Kodachi said, then sighed, "I am glad you finally told me this. I should hate to think what might have happen if I persisted in the notion that Kaneda…well, I have no desire to get involved in any such tangled relationship. Too many is a crowd, you know."

"Yeah, I think I do," Keiko sighed herself then said, "Well, now that you do know the truth, I hope you'll still let Akane and me help you out. It takes time to get used to these cursed bodies and you're going to need friends who understand your situation…"

"And you're volunteering?" Kodachi eyed her coyly, "Tell me something…what limitations come with these cursed animal forms?"

"About the usual ones of the animals themselves," Keiko replied, "You retain your intelligence and know everything you need to know on an instinctual level, but physically you are the animal in all the ways that matter. In my case I get to fly and can fight with my wings, feet and beak, but I've also got this acute appetite for leftovers. Vultures are notorious carrion eaters, so I get this funny urge every time I see a road kill…well, let's just say it feels strangely natural, like you are the animal you pretend to be. You also have to watch yourself, these transformations could happen at any time, like we're magnets for water."

"I suppose it would make sense to carry around an umbrella, like your friend Ryoga," Kodachi mused, then asked, "Is he…?"

"No," Akane said very shyly, "He's just a really nice boy, and if he's hiding anything like that from me, I've yet to find it out…"

"Ryoga's got more than enough problems as it is without having to have a curse attached on top of everything else," Keiko said, smiling as she added, "Not the least of which is being tongue-tied around Akane."

"Oho, then the boy is really sweet on you?" Kodachi asked with a smile, "And how do you feel about him."

"Like I want us to be more than just good friends," Akane said as she blushed furiously, "He's so very nice and polite with me, unlike most guys I know. I don't want to hurt him or anything, I just want him to know that I like him…very much."

"So you finally do admit that there is at least one boy in the world whom you regard with fondness," Kodachi smiled endearingly, then looked to Keiko and said, "And you?"

"I'll stick to what I'm most familiar with," Keiko returned her smile, "At the moment I've got my eye on a couple of brunettes, and one's not seeing anybody else at the moment, so maybe I've got a real shot at her…depending on how she feels about me."

"You are not so bad a sort…for a peasant," Kodachi smiled, then said, "You don't mind the fact that we both share the same problem…?"

"Hey," Keiko grinned wickedly, "I like fur. How do you feel about feathers?"

Kodachi matched her grin and sighed as she lowered herself into the bath, "They're good for tickling…like this!"

"What? Hey!" Keiko cried as she tried to fend off the attack in the water but just wound up giggling instead as Kodachi found her sensitive areas.

"You two," Akane sighed, then smiled as she started to remove her clothing, reckoning the tub was more than large enough to accommodate three people…

Continued

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