Project A-Ko Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Vampire Hunter (Darkstalkers) Fan Fiction ❯ Nabiki 1/2 (A Very Scary Thought) ❯ Ancient History... ( Chapter 78 )

Nabiki 1/2

(A Very Scary Thought)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Based Upon the Altered Destinies Storyline

Inspired by the works of such fans as

Wade Tritshler

Richard Lawson

James Jones

And Many Others

Standard Disclaimer: This is inspired by the work of Takahashi Rumiko and is not my original creation. All characters belong to her. This is only a fanfictional work, and is not intended to compromise the rights of the original owners, distributors and publishers of the Ranma series. I have no money to spare and would very much appreciate if no one tries to sue me.

"Grandfather?" Urd repeated, looking at her companion.

"Don't get started on me," Hercules grumbled, "This is embarrassing enough as it is."

"Grandfather?" Aiko said, then frowned, "Wait a minute…I know you! You're Hercules! I met you once when I was just a kid…"

"As opposed to?" Hercules replied, giving a casual sweep with his eyes at the various mortals staring at him and Urd with disquieted expressions, "Look, I didn't mean to come here and interfere with your life, even if you have grown a bit since I last saw you, Alexandra…"

"Alison," the redhead contradicted, then blinked, "I mean Aiko!" she glared at Beatrice and said, "Now see what you've got me doing, Beiko?"

"Alison?" Hercules frowned, "Did your mother change your name or something? I thought she was going to name you Alexandra at the Christening ceremony…only now that I think on it I was called away that day on other business…"

"Um, excuse me?" Nabiki said with a most disquieted expression, "Am I following this right? You two are a couple of…?"

"Gods?" Urd asked with a pleasant smile, "Or Kami…unless you think we're a couple of traveling salesmen that is, in which case I'm going to have to smite you."

"Smite?" Hercules frowned, looking at Urd, "Who uses a word like 'Smite' these days?"

"My little sister, of course," Urd replied matter-of-factly.

"Look, Gramps," Aiko frowned, "You picked a heck of a time to drop by for a family reunion…"

"Just so," Nabiki said, regaining a measure of her composure, "We do seem to be in the middle of a crisis…"

"I know all about it," Hercules made a dismissive motion with one hand, then corrected himself, "Or at least I do now," he turned a resentful look skyward and growled, "Not that I'm having much trouble figuring out why Dad dumped this assignment on me…"

"Is that really Hercules?" Ukyo murmured, "I thought he'd be…well…taller."

"Taller?" Ranma repeated, giving the six-and-a-half foot tall mass of muscles before them a very disquieted study.

"Matter of perspective," Perfume replied, having fully recovered from her own ordeal, turning to Beatrice as she said in her own bewildered tones, "How did you do that for me anyway? I feel fine, better than fine as a matter of fact, and my injury…"

"It was nothing," Beatrice said dismissively, "I merely assigned some soldier nanoprobes to assess the damage and initiate repairs according to your baseline DNA structure. It's only a temporary healing process, unlike mine, which operate like a hive colony around the main central processor…"

"Jeez, Beiko," Aiko winced, "Whenever you describe yourself like that you sound like some damned ant colony. Can't you just say that Maruten fixed you up and leave it at that?"

"Who's Maruten?" Akane asked.

"The alien who once saved my life," Beatrice replied before turning back to the divine beings in their presence, "I suggest working together with us would be more efficient than working at cross purposes. Now that I know you are here the pieces are starting to fit together, and if I'm right-as I almost always am-then there is not a moment to waste if we are to track down that creature and save Nerima from almost certain disaster."

"But I'm sure that Junior won't deliberately try to cause anybody any real harm," Ukyo protested, "He's just a baby and he's a little confused. He didn't mean to hurt anyone…"

"Baby?" Hercules replied, "Junior? We're talking about Typhon! The biggest, meanest, nastiest Titan that ever walked the planet, Gaea's little revenge strategy on two legs, and you guys are treating him like he's some kind of a lost kitten?"

Nabiki shuddered slightly but managed to control her reaction as she said, "I'm sorry to say it, Ucchan, but I have to agree with Mister Olympia here, your baby is a clear and present danger to the population of Nerima. He may not mean anyone any harm, but at the rate he's growing he could soon pose a serious problem to the local traffic situation."

"Your point is well taken," Beatrice replied, "I suggest we track the creature down before it gets too far away from school grounds. I assume, Lord Hercules, that you do have a strategy to contain the creature while it is still manageable enough for us to handle?"

"Oh sure," Hercules nodded, "Dad had my brother Heph whip up a little device that could--AWP!"

Everyone reacted in surprise as the towering giant who called himself Hercules got suddenly kicked airborne by a bull-headed Goat that had butted him from the rear without warning.

"Algonquin!" a beautiful woman said as she came into the room, "I'm so sorry, Hercules, he got away from me before I could restrain him. I really don't know why he and you never seem to get along-what in the name of Gladsheim?"

"Lotta visitors comin' to our school," Principal Kuno remarked as he studied the blond woman, who in turn was looking around at the massive scenes of devastation all around them.

Hercules managed to pry himself loose from the rubble he had half-buried himself in to take notice of the billy goat that was still trying to butt him. With angry scowl he grabbed the goat by the horns and hauled him up to eye level.

"Listen, you old goat," he growled as the creature snapped at him and tried to bite, "This ain't the time or place for horsing around! We got a real crisis on our hands here, so either behave yourself or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" Sif asked him, approaching with an angry scowl leveled in his direction.

Urd turned to look at her then raised a finger, "Time out! Herk and me have to go somewhere to consult about something. Be right back in another minute."

She grabbed Hercules by the tunic and the two of them faded from view, along with the creature he was still holding at arms-length. Sif blinked and looked around, then stared at the sky and said, "Come back here with Algonquin you…hussy! Ohhh, she really gets my goat…sometimes literally!"

She also faded from view, leaving some very confused mortals in her wake. It was Ranma who finally broke the silence with feigned casualness as he said, "So…anybody besides me feel like a little monster hunt?"

"That is a good point," Ryoga agreed, "What are we standing around here for?"

"Good question," Nabiki nodded, "Perfume, I trust you will be able to find the creature again without too much difficulty?"

Perfume studied the direct line that was visible from the hole in both the wall and ceiling, taking further note of the hole in the fence some meters beyond that before she remarked, "No problem. I think even Ryoga-kun could follow a trail like that without losing the creature."

"I hope there's time enough for me to find my spatulas," Ukyo mused, "I'm starting to suspect I might need them…"

"A good idea," Beatrice remarked, "Why don't the rest of you head on out. I need to do something first, and I'll catch up with you later. Aiko?"

"Uh…" Aiko looked at the other girl nervously then said, "If it's all the same, Beiko, I think I'll stick close to Akane and these others. You gonna be all right?"

"Aren't I always?" Beatrice smiled, giving the redhead a very curious smile that somehow made Aiko feel more nervous than she had been when confronting the creature. There were different forms of predatory behavior, after all, and she was beginning to suspect that you didn't need teeth like a shark to be dangerous in that sense.

"Lead the way," Nabiki informed Perfume, who nodded and took point as the others followed suit while Principal Kuno hesitated for a moment then decided to follow…

Hercules let go of the goat as they appeared on the virtual plane of reality, the dimensional boundary line between one state of material existence and another. Said goat made ready to butt its head against him once again, but Urd said, "UH-uh, guy…no more of that! You two butt-heads need to work things out together and stop mixing it up like a couple of schoolkids with a grudge, you're making us all look bad in front of the mortals."

"Fine with me," Hercules snorted, "Tell horn-head over here that our problem is supposed to be Typhon, not each other."

"Baaah!" the goat said dismissively but did not renew its futile attempts upon the Olympian hero.

"What's the story about these Jusenkyo curses anyway?" Urd asked, "Can they be broken?"

"Not by me," Hercules shrugged, "But then again, Magic's never been my strong suit, that's more Hecate's line. I'm just a strong-arm type who's a bit of an overachiever. At a guess, though, I'd say the curse is pretty tightly woven to Thor's Akashik pattern. Separating him from the Goat might take a bit of doing…"

"Mind if I try my hand at it?" Urd asked, "I've broken a few curses in my time, and I don't think this one will be all that tough seeing how Thor here doesn't like having this happen to him."

Both Hercules and the Goat gave Urd the sort of panicked look one gives to a potential crisis looming near on the horizon. With more haste than he might otherwise have intended to exert, the Man-God cautioned, "Ah…I wouldn't be too quick to make that judgement! I once had a curse like this thrown on me…"

"On you?" both Urd and the goat gave him startled expressions.

"Uh…yeah," Hercules looked as if he regretted his own words, but forced himself to continue, "It happened a long time ago, and I got rid of it only after I achieved full godhood. It was on my eleventh labor when I was after the Apples of the Hesperides that I wandered into the lands that would one day be part of central China, and I almost literally stumbled into one of those blasted pools thanks to a local tour guide and this guy I was hanging around with named Geminades. I won't go into too many details, but it got real inconvenient for a while there. I just know I don't have to avoid cold showers anymore, which is a damn good thing considering what the ladies are like on Olympus."

"Interesting," Urd mused, "Then maybe the residual traces of that curse might still be with you, and if I could tap into the decay factor…"

"Hey, that was over three thousand years ago!" Hercules protested.

"The Past is my specialty, remember?" Urd smiled, "And what are you boys so worried about anyway? Don't tell me you like changing into a goat whenever you get wet?"

Both goat and God exchanged worried looks as if to mutually say, "Well…"

"Come on," Urd said more indignantly, "What have you got to lose by me trying?"

The goat seemed to seriously think that bit over, then finally heaved a goatly sigh and lowered his bearded head in resignation.

"Good," Urd brightened, "Now just stay like that and leave everything to me and you boys won't regret it."

She closed her eyes, thus missing the dubious looks cast in her direction, and then Urd raised her arms and concentrated, waiting for the power to rise up in her before she intoned her readymade spell:

"Cursed to change, oh wretched creature,

Be freed of thy curse in this unseemly template,

Begone ye horned visage and be restored by thy bane

Which the Man-God contained in days of yore

When he too bore a curse of similar nature!"

She could feel her power flowing through her, shaped by the images she sought to project as she wove the software of invocation and conceptually inserted it into the great Machine of Creation to initiate a restart program. She felt the input as it was processed through the Ultimate Force Computer, and then reality shifted and she could feel a new image take the shape of the Thor she well knew and had often dated (not necessarily with Sif's knowledge or approval).

When at last she felt the cosmic terminal read back a successful completion of the program she opened her eyes, feeling elated as she cried, "I did--it…?" the last part voiced an octave higher than normal.

The redheaded figure before her looked down at itself and seemed to share her initial rejoicing as Thor cried out, "You did it, Urd! I'm myself again! I'm no longer a goat, and I can feel it!"

"Uh…yeah, buddy," Hercules said dubiously, "Whatever you say."

"Huh?" Thor looked puzzled, and then glanced down at the leather biker outfit that hung rather slack about the redhead's body, which prompted a very faint, "Hah?"

"Uh…did I err?" Urd all but wilted as she studied the six foot feminine shape with the riotous mane of curling red hair, then looked at Hercules as if for confirmation.

"Um…did I forget to mention just what kind of Jusenkyo curse I used to have?" Hercules asked with feigned innocence, right before he saw the way the redhead was glaring at him and wilted as the stormclouds began rumbling in the distance.

"Hercules…!" the Redhead drew back the hammer in her hand and prepared to swing it, "YOU IDIOT!"

This time the Man-God did not even bother to dodge, reasoning that---for once---he deserved it for allowing Urd have her way in any matter that involved spellcasting…

"Saotome," murmured Soun as he studied the Shogi board without really paying too much attention to the pieces, "Does it ever seem to you as if our lives are too much caught in a routine of repetitive existence?"

Without taking its eyes off the board, the panda sitting opposite to him held up a sign that read, "I don't know, Tendo-kun, what makes you say that?"

Soun heaved another sigh before replying, "I don't really know, but there are times when it seems as though we live in a pattern that begins and ends the same way, with the two of us playing Shogi. We eat, we sleep, we get up in the morning and we exercise in the dojo, then we sit down and play another game as if the rest of our lives were only a pause between moves. At least that's what it seems like lately."

The panda held up another sign, "To tell the truth I never really noticed," it turned the sign around, which now read on the other side, "More often our lives seem to resemble an endless soap opera, like one of those programs Nodoka, Shampoo and Kasumi watch every afternoon."

"Ah yes," Soun agreed, barely lifting his eyes long enough to read the sign before looking down again to make certain his companion had not cheated, "Women do that sort of thing, don't they?"

"Some women," replied the sign held by the panda, "Nabiki, on the other hand, seems glued to the financial columns on the Cable channels, while Natsume and Kurumi hardly watch television at all."

"Indeed," Soun agreed, "My two nieces have had little exposure to the medium, although I have noticed that Kurumi is developing a taste for anime. Natsume seems to spend all her free time, though, visiting with young Master Kuno."

"Sometimes I worry about that girl," the panda's sign now read as he furiously scrawled a new message on the back, keeping one eye on the board while somehow managing to write legibly enough for Soun to read at a glance, "She acts so self-confident at times that you can almost forget about her tender age. I certainly hope she isn't getting too attached to the Kendo boy."

"It is her life to lead, my friend," Soun said philosophically, "I gave up trying to make others lead the sort of lives I would want after my daughter took up with that Amazon after agreeing to the engagement to your son."

"Young people," the panda's sign read, "No respect for traditions. Still, when it comes to Nabiki I have found it best not to judge her too harshly."

"I know, my friend," Soun replied, "And I do trust Nabiki, and Shampoo is a lovely girl who will bring much honor to this house when she makes me a…a…"

"Grandfather?" the panda's sign asked suggestively, then he turned it around to reveal, "I know how you feel…the idea sometimes leaves me a little stunned…"

"Well," said Cologne as if to announce her presence to the Shogi players, "I see you two are trying out for the 'Waiting For Godot' play the school is hosting. Don't mind me, I didn't come to interrupt your little game of cheating…"

"Shogi," Soun corrected.

"Whatever," Cologne sniffed, "I was wondering…is Happy around by any chance?"

"The Master?" the sign held by the panda read, "What do you want with him?"

Cologne nodded in faint amusement, "You are going to have to teach me how you manage that calligraphy trick sometime, even I have trouble sometimes seeing your paws move. In regards to your question, however, it is none of your business. I merely wish to consult with him regarding some very strange feelings I have been experiencing since noon…"

"So," said the bright little man as Happosai vaulted from the roof to the patio area at the back of the house, "You felt it too, eh? I was wondering when you'd show up here to seek my advice…"

"Who said anything about needing your advice?" Cologne said testily, "The day I need your advice on anything…"

A very strange sound suddenly filled the air as Cologne's mouth hung open, while Happosai went slightly rigid.

"That's a nasty cold you've got there," the old man said as if attempting light humor.

"What was that?" Soun asked as the panda's sign echoed the question.

"Quiet, fools!" Cologne hissed, glancing at Happosai, "Do you hear that? It's getting closer…"

A sudden loud roar could be heard, accompanied by the heavy tread of something incredibly massive lumbering down the street, and then all heads turned to see the towering figure of a monster over twenty feet tall passing by the Tendo yard, continuing on down the street several moments later as screams could be heard all along the neighborhood.

"Oh my," said Kasumi as she, Kurumi, Nodoka and Shampoo came rushing out onto the patio in time to see the creature before it vanished, "I had no idea they were advertising for a new movie."

"That some advertisement," Shampoo noted faintly.

"No fooling," Kurumi said, "I thought that looked like a dinosaur…but I thought that they were all extinct?"

"Apparently that one isn't," Nodoka said dryly before turning to look at the panda, "Genma, dear, would you care to investigate what that is?"

The panda appeared to seriously consider the question until a mildly exasperated Nodoka stepped forward with a teakettle she had brought with her out of foresight. She poured it over the panda then glared as she said in a somewhat more forceful tone, "Let me rephrase the question…would you care to sleep alone on the roof tonight?"

"I'm going!" Genma got to his feet, giving a sorrowful look at the Shogi board before turning around and heading towards the main gate.

"Wait a minute, Uncle!" Kurumi called out as she hurried up to reach his side, "I'll go with you. I want to see if that really is some kind of giant monster. I've heard all sorts of stories about them but I've never actually seen this kind."

"Neither have I," Cologne said before fetching Happosai a meaningful look, "But I, too, have heard the legends."

"Legends," Happosai snorted in contempt, "I have seen the real thing, and I'm not in any hurry to see it again, but I might as well come along with you. If it's loose in Nerima it might hurt one of my beautiful ladies!"

Soun remained where he was as the quartet made their departure, then he heaved a sigh and rose to his feet, murmuring, "Life is just one endless soap opera. Just once I wish something would break the routine, but…oh well…"

And with that he followed, leaving three very confused women exchanging glances in his passage…

"It is very nice of you to offer to walk me home, Kuno-san," Natsume remarked to the man at he side, "But it is hardly necessary…I know the way by now."

"Perhaps you do," Tatawaki replied, "But allow me the pleasure of your company, if only for a few more minutes. Besides, I want to speak with your family to offer my thanks for their support and tolerance all of these years. I am hoping to catch your cousins when they get home so that I may offer my sincere apologies…and to explain my poor conduct. I would rather that there be no hard feelings or lingering resentments for anything I did or said in the past…"

"I'm sure everyone is grateful that you are well," Natsume assured him, hiding a slight smile that escaped her efforts at seeming indifference, "Aunt Nodoka has expressed her regrets that she did not offer better supervision in the past when it might have made a difference. She feels that she ought to have noticed that your sister was violating you with her foul potions..."

"She is hardly the only one to miss that," Kuno sniffed aloud, "Parts of the last few years are like a blur to me. I only remember how I sometimes could react to little things as if they posed a challenge to my very manhood…"

He suddenly paused as a sound intruded on their private conversation. Both Kuno and Natsume halted in mid-step as they felt through the soles of their feet how the very sidewalk was vibrating, even as a heavy tread made itself known, and then the ground began to shake more violently as though they were experiencing an earthquake.

A loud roar caused both to lift their heads in time to see the lumbering figure of a huge creature coming up the street as it rounded a corner in the opposite direction to that which they were heading. The very sight of the creature caused them to become like statues as it loomed near, and only when it was almost upon them did Kuno act by interposing himself between the creature and his companion.

To their great surprise, the creature continued on without even glancing in their direction, and they slowly turned about to watch it vanish down another street as it turned yet one more corner and became lost among the treeline.

It was a full two minutes later that Natsume asked, "What was that?"

"Oh," Kuno murmured faintly, "Good…you saw it too. For a moment there I thought I was suffering another relapse."

"Oneechan!" a voice hailed them, and they belatedly turned to see Genma, Kurumi, Cologne, Happosai and Soun approach at a good pace. It was evident from their expressions that they, too, had seen the creature and were following it, but when Kurumi caught sight of Kuno her expression clouded.

"Natsume-chan," Soun called out as his party caught up with them, "Are you all right? The creature did not hurt you in any way?"

"No…uncle," Natsume fought to correct her natural impulse to call him father, that being the way she still regarded this soft-spoken man she had first mistaken under that general impression, "It seemed to ignore us completely."

"It's heading towards the coastline," Kuno frowned, "If it follows the storm drains it could reach the ocean in another hour."

"I think it will stop along the way long before that," Cologne remarked, "In fact I believe it has only a little ways further to go before it reaches its destination."

"What do you mean, Grandmother?" Kuno asked more alertly than any of those newly arrived could ever remember.

"She means the Fish Market's over in that direction," Happosai pointed, "Once it catches the scent of that there's going to be no stopping the hungry boy. He must already be pretty famished or he'd be making better time already."

"What is that thing, Grandfather?" Natsume asked the ancient Master.

"A blast from the past that I'd hoped I'd never live to see again," Happosai dramatically averred, "It was before your time back when Soun and Genma were wee lads still learning their basics. Come on, stop dragging your heels everybody! It's getting away from us and we have to catch it!"

"We do?" asked Genma with dread, but as was usually the case when he was being practical everyone else just ignored him...

"So," Akane tried to sound nonchalant, "What is the scoop between you and that other girl…Beiko was it?"

"I don't know and I don't want to talk about it," Aiko grumbled, but almost immediately contradicted herself by saying, "She just…confuses me so much! I mean, you've no idea what she used to be like when we were in our old school together. She's changed…and in a lot of ways it scares me."

"Well," Ryoga said reluctantly, "It may not be my place to say anything, but I kind of got the impression that she likes you. I mean, I don't know how to judge about these things…"

"Likes me?" Aiko repeated, then gave a bitter laugh, "That's gotta be the irony of the decade, considering all the times she's tried to kill me in the past…"

"Kill you?" Ranma looked startled, "How come?"

"It's a long story," Aiko sighed, "Basically she used to be different, a real stuck-up rich witch who'd come after me with robots and things she'd build for me to fight and demolish. It used to happen every morning for four straight months, almost the entire last semester!"

"So what happened with you two?" Nabiki asked, "I heard part of the story from Beatrice herself…"

"Hah!" Aiko snorted, "I can just bet what she must have told you! I can remember what she was like the time we first when were only five years old…those piggy little eyes, dumpy white hair and smug superior attitude really got on my nerves. She challenged me to fight, but the day before it could happen my parents decided to move us back to America, where I was born. We came back to Japan a few years later and I've lived here ever since…"

"You're an American?" Akane asked.

"Technically yeah," Aiko replied, "But I've lived here for so long that I think of Japan as my real home. All my friends are here…well…the few friends I have anyway…"

"And now this Beiko wants to be your friend," Ryoga noted, "Has she really changed that much?"

"Yeah, she has," Aiko replied, "And don't know why it is, but sometimes it really scares me."

"You mean you'd rather have her trying to kill you?" Ukyo asked with a sly look that only Perfume caught onto.

"Well, no…" Aiko hesitated, "What I mean is…seeing her this way, acting so reasonable like, and coming onto me with the overtures of friendship…it's not something I'm used to."

"I've formed a pretty good impression of Beatrice Kane," Nabiki said, adding on the side, "She seems to prefer that now instead of the nick-name you use. She seems sincere in her desire to make restitution for her past, and she hinted rather broadly that the two of you have only just come back from a lengthy adventure together…"

"She told you about that, huh?" Aiko sighed, "Three months ago, a good friend of ours went away without warning. We never even got a chance to say our good-byes, so Beiko came to me with a proposal that we call a truce to all our fighting and work together to try and get her back. At the time it made sense us pooling our resources and all…who knew how things would turn out?" she sighed in fatalistic resignation.

"What changed her?" Akane asked, "If she used to be after you for fights…"

"She died," Aiko said in a toneless whisper.

"Nani?" Nabiki blinked, "Care to run that by us again?"

"Seems pretty lively for a dead person," Ukyo agreed, "Right Perfume-chan?"

"For a dead person she does not smell all that bad," Perfume replied, then saw the look Ukyo gave her and amended, "Besides which she helped me out with those…what did she call them?"

"Nanotechs," Aiko shrugged, "And I don't blame you for being confused, I barely understand the basic concept myself and I was there when Maruten implanted the stuff into her system. All I know is that she's got these little robot bugs crawling around in her bloodstream repairing damage and sustaining her in perfect health ever since it happened. So when I say she died, what I mean is she was dead for about five minutes, and then she got better."

"Why did this Maruten guy bring her back?" Ranma asked.

"Because I asked him to," Aiko replied, once again barely a whisper, "Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore. How about we talk about something else for a change?"

"All right," Nabiki said, "How about you and Hercules? Is it true what she said about him being your grandfather?"

Aiko heaved a sigh then said, "Yeah, that's what I'm told, and Beiko's just repeating the facts as I got it third hand from my mother."

"Your mother is the daughter of Hercules?" Akane said, suddenly understanding something from their earlier conversation, "Is that why you're so…?"

"Strong?" Aiko replied, "Yeah, part of the reason anyway, although my Dad's pretty strong too, and could probably give Gramps a run for his toga."

"Four thousand years of Amazon tradition," Nabiki mused, "That was something else your friend Beatrice said about the martial arts combat system you practice."

"She's not my…" Aiko sighed again, "Yeah, four thousand years is about right, that's the time when my grandmother first settled the Amazon tribes with the help of her sisters. According to the stories I heard growing up, my mom got conceived on the night when Hercules is supposed to have raped her…"

"I DID NO SUCH THING!" a thunderous voice boomed just before Hercules reappeared, including Urd and a redheaded stranger wearing a hastily remodified version of the Biker leathers that Thor had been wearing.

Hercules walked straight up to Aiko and said, "I know I haven't been a part of your life beyond helping to bring your mother into this world, kid, but I absolutely refuse to put up with this slander any longer. I may not be a saint, and the Powers know I've done some things I'm not very proud of, but there is no way this side of Tartarus that anybody's going to accuse me of raping Hippolyta! If anything it was the other way around," he muttered in sour undertone with a stormy expression.

Aiko barely stood even with the big man's breastbone as she looked up at him defiantly, "You calling my grandmother a liar?"

"In a word," Hercules replied, "Yes."

Aiko didn't budge a centimeter, but her lip curled into a smile as she replied, "So did Mom, and she knew her better than anybody else. So…Grampa…what's your side of the story? What really did happen?"

Hercules took one deep breath but before he could reply the redheaded lady said, "Yeah, what did happen, old buddy? I've heard you tell this story a dozen different ways, so let's finally hear the real version without the creative ad libbing."

Hercules growled something unintelligible about the probable ancestry of all Norsemen but he looked down at Aiko and seemed to lower his guard for her by a fraction, then somberly he said, "Three thousand, two hundred and thirty-two years ago, or 1234 BC, if you go by Christian Reckoning, I got into a real mess that was partly caused by that Heavenly Witch, my step-mother Hera, and wound up doing community service for ten years for King Eurystheus of Mycenae, my cousin. One of the so-called twelve labors he had me perform included going to the land of the Amazons in Asia Minor to retrieve the Girdle of Gaea from Hippolyta. On the way, me and my other cousin, King Theseus of Athens, ran into a hunting party of Amazons led by this high-spirited wench who got into an argument with me over who killed a deer first with what arrow…"

"She won the argument," the redhead clarified, "Only the Prince of Thieves here wouldn't accept that his arrow was a little slower…"

"That's Thebes, you bloody Pirate!" Hercules snapped before resuming, "Anyway, we got into a bit of a tussle over this simple misunderstanding and she turned out to be a pretty amazing fighter…"

"She was whipping your sorry ass," the redhead chortled, "And then you cheated."

"Look, am I telling this or are you?" Hercules glared dangerously at his heckler, "Besides you know perfectly well that she was wearing the Girdle, which gave her the edge, though I didn't know it at the time. I…uh…also have this thing about fighting women…I hate it…"

"Because you keep losing," the redhead grinned, then raised deflecting hands and said, "Okay, I'll keep quiet. You go on right ahead, Herk ol' buddy."

Unnoticed by anyone but Urd, the redhead was crossing her fingers behind her back as Hercules continued, "Well, to make a long and painful subject short, I managed to win in the end, but only by clever use of strategy and tactics. I also had a bit of luck on my side, only not the kind I thought at the time as the girl I'd been fighting suddenly got all friendly with me and started behaving with more civility than she'd been using up until that moment…"

"Wait a second," Nabiki frowned, "Did this have anything to do with one of their laws regarding what happens when a male outsider defeats a warrior of their tribe?"

"Oh," Hercules said soberly, "You've heard of that one too, huh?'

"We're familiar with it," both Nabiki and Ukyo chorused, then exchanged amused, wry glances that spoke volumes.

"Yeah," Hercules sighed, "That was the start of a whale of a lot more troubles than I ever thought I was going to have to face. We were warmly invited home to their capitol city of Themiscrya and given a banquet in honor of the two great conquering heroes, me and my cousin…"

"King Theseus also defeated an Amazon?" Perfume spoke up.

"Antiope," Hercules replied, "Only the way I hear tell she really didn't put up that much of a fight, and unlike me, her marriage worked out pretty well, if you ignore that nasty little war that was later fought between the Amazons and Athenians a year later…"

"So what happened?" Aiko asked, "If you and Grandmother were getting along and she was legally married to you…"

"What usually happened back then when things started going right for me?" Hercules growled, "Hera happened, like always, and Ares pitched in as well. Hippolyta's his daughter by Aphrodite, after all, and he didn't exactly get thrilled at the idea of having me for a son-in-law."

"So what did they do?" Ukyo wondered.

"Spread a few rumors, spoke a few choice words into the wrong ears," Hercules growled, "They said I was going to kidnap Hippolyta and take her back with me to Mycenae, which started a near-riot among her sacred guard inside the palace. One of 'Lyta's own sisters came charging into the royal bedchambers and scared me out of ten years of growth when she tried to brain me with an axe. Of course I beat a hasty retreat out of there, knocking both "Lyta and Orestia unconscious in the process. Then I rescued Theseus and Antiope from the other sister, Melianites, and we fought our way back to the dockside and got our ship out of the harbor before the sun had fully set over the mountains."

"And what about that story where you kidnapped the Amazons and tried to enslave them?" Aiko asked him.

"Oh yeah," Hercules snorted, "Me, Theseus and the thirty men we had with us were gonna defeat several thousand screaming mad Amazons armed to the teeth with spears and arrows…like that'll happen!" Under his breath he muttered, "DC Comics has a lot to answer for…"

"With me, it's Marvel," the redhead sympathized, "They got some blond surfer dude with a funny accent playing my part, the damned Boyscout, King Arthur wannabe…"

"Anyway," Hercules sighed, "We sailed home from the Black Sea back to Greece where I gave that girdle to my cousin, and he gave it to that Prima Dona daughter of his and I tried to forget about the whole crazy experience, only I found out later that 'Lyta was pregnant and her people had voted to go to war with Athens. Said war, of course, proved to be such a disaster that the Amazons were almost destroyed as a nation. They broke apart into separate tribes and went their different paths, some going east to the Gods Know What fate, others taking a ship and sailing west to parts unknown, while those who stayed loyal to Hippolyta gathered around her and petitioned the Gods for the preservation of their nation. Of course, what they didn't know was that 'Lyta had a special inside track with the Gods, being one of them on both sides of her family tree. She asked Aphrodite for help and that's how she and her people got spirited away to that island they called Paradise to spend the next three thousand years in near absolute isolation."

"So you're saying Grandmother deliberately mislead her people, vilified you and cooked up that whole story about Mom being created out of clay to cover the fact that she was behind the whole Exile thing?" Aiko said matter-of-factly.

"Come on," Hercules snorted, "That 'Created from Clay' bit's a Cabbage Patch story! You're old enough to know it's not just the stork that delivers babies. 'Lyta wanted your mother to believe that she was born without any help from a guy as part of her whole 'We don't need men' kick while actually covered up the fact that she'd let me escape her clutches in violation of her own laws. It was a face-saving gesture, nothing more, and while I can understand her motives I won't put up with her using me as a scape goat."

"Don't mention the word goat," winced the Redhead.

"The Amazons weren't perfect," Hercules resumed, "They were women trying to make the best of a bad situation, but nobody created them out of clay, they all had fathers and mothers, just like everybody else on this planet. Some revisionist named Charles Moulton with a Ph.D. in Psychiatry and a weird penchant for bondage stories decided to cook up some idealized version of these events to portray heroic and virtuous women standing firm against us rampaging brutish men, but that just ain't the way it happened. Life is never that black and white, not even in the comics."

"Fascinating," Nabiki mused, "So if you're half-god, and Hippolyta was a full goddess, that would make your mother three quarters divine and you…"

"Yeah, I know," Aiko sniffed, "Beiko's not the only one who can do the math, and I'm also half alien on my father's side…'

"You're father's an alien?" asked Ranma.

"Believe it or not, it's a lot more common than you'd think," Aiko replied, "According to Beiko Japan was colonized by Aliens a couple of millennia or so back…"

"Four hundred six BC, to be exact," Urd noted with a smile, "Of course that's only if you trace the later settlement. Japan was really discovered around 660 by a Princess of the Jurai, but that's another story, and I think we've talked enough about history for one day."

"Interestin'," mused Principal Kuno, who had been silently up to now following all of this with his usual look of detached mania, "Only what's dat gotta do with da big bad lizard?"

"Absolutely nothing, that's what," the redhead replied, "But it did kill some time while we caught up with the big iguana, now if you ask my opinion I'd say we were getting closer."

They all took note of what she indicated, seeing overturned trucks and cars with people standing around pointing fingers at something unseen from their perspective. As they got closer it became apparent from the ruins of several buildings that something big had come this way, and they could hear the sound of something large and hungry chomping down on a greedy banquet, which same their nostrils informed them consisted of aquatic poultry.

"Good call," Nabiki sniffed before holding her nose, "So…what's the game plan?"

"First, we lure the sucker out into the open and then Thor and me'll subdue him like OW…"

Ukyo removed her baker's peel from the top of his head and said, "Excuse me? Did you just say you're going to do this without hurting that poor baby?"

"Okay, point taken," Hercules said as he rubbed his noggin, eyeing her with suspicion as he added, "You and Dianira wouldn't happen to be related, would you? Anyway, as I was about to say, once we got it in position I'll activate brother Heph's device, which should erect a special containment field that will suck that 'baby' into a box where he's be nice and safe until I can deliver him someplace where he won't threaten any of you mortals. Then…"

Just then they heard another roar from the building, and the creature emerged into view, now over fifteen meters tall and looking about eight times as large as when he had left Furinkan school grounds.

"Oboy," Urd murmured, "That thing's still growing…"

"Uh, just off the record, Herk ol' buddy," the redhead stage-whispered, "Hephaestus did create a storage device with an infinite capacity, right?"

"Ah…" Hercules looked down at the gold plated object he held in his hand, which to all eyes appeared to be a cigarette case, then back up at the creature, "I think I need a bigger box…"

Continued

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