Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Hand Maid May Fan Fiction / Gatekeepers Fan Fiction ❯ Retake ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Retake
Chapter 5:


Characters by others. Except for some who aren't.

----------

Soun had picked up the postcard and grew immediately excited and tearful. "At last. At last Ranma is coming!"

"Kasumi!" Soun frowned a little at no Kasumi in the kitchen but found her asleep in her bed a moment later. "Kasumi, wake up, family meeting!"

Kasumi stirred, then sat up in shock. "It... it was all a dream?!"

Soun was a little puzzled, but this was too important to get sidetracked. "I'll need to see you downstairs quickly after I get the others."

"Nabiki?!" Soun was even more puzzled on finding Nabiki asleep in her room. How odd. Well, less odd than Kasumi, at least.

"Whszzzp?" Nabiki blearily focussed on her father, then her eyes got wide. "What?!"

This was really strange, decided Soun. Not Nabiki taking a nap, but Nabiki coming instantly awake like that. Maybe there was a cold or something going around. Yes, that must be it. That would explain Kasumi AND Nabiki both taking naps. "Akane? Akane? AKANE?!!"

Nabiki and Kasumi came running at the note of dismay in their father's voice, having changed from bedclothes to normal daywear in record time. Though if they had any attention to spare, each would have noted the other appearing rather mussed and tousled.

Akane stirred slightly and brushed some of the purple hair out of her face, cuddling a little closer to the nice warm body next to her. ?!!?

Shampoo moaned. It was nice and warm and her headache was gone and... someone was in bed with her?

Akane woke the rest of the way up and shrieked. Shampoo shrieked at the same time. Both leapt from the bed simultaneously.

"What does crazy pervert girl do?" Shampoo asked in a panic, not even noticing that she'd gotten Japanese 101 somewhere over the course of the afternoon.

"That's MY Line!" Akane was wondering what was going on. And why was this Chinese girl in HER pajamas.

Shampoo decided she needed to get away NOW. That man over there was crying and that girl over there was covering her eyes and saying "oh my" a lot and that other girl was just gaping. Nope, she needed this situation about as much as she needed this problem about the redheaded girl Ranma.

----------

It wasn't generally known, but the current Emperor of Japan chaffed a bit at the usual ingoings at Court. His was publically a figurehead position, but behind the scenes he had a lot of power and influence still.

Right now, behind his polite mask of indifference, he was grinning at the turmoil he'd just caused. A little bit of divinely inspired untruth, but when one's honored and divine ancestor suggested it, who was he to resist the chance to scandalize the sycophants and career politicians?

"...b-b-b-but a *gaijin*?!"

Naruhito nodded once. "Yes, I'm afraid it's confirmed. A distant relation to be sure, but this Greylle Shard is directly related to the Imperial Line and another foreign royalty as well. I would ask that you be discrete and not disturb his education."

One could safely say that if marauding Oni had landed on the lawn right now to challenge them to a tag race, most of those present would actually be relieved.

"Why is he here in Japan? Is he seeking to 'get in touch with his roots'?" One woman asked, only a slight tremor in her voice.

"No, actually he's here to learn Japanese and then play baseball. Here are his stats." Naruhito gestured and a handout was passed out by a darksuited individual.

"Are these accurate?!" Eyes got large as various people realized what the figures represented.

"Yes, even though he's a High School sophomore, his fastball exceeds 850kph. He practices the martial arts, and I've heard he's interested in learning more of the code of Bushido." Naruhito's right eye twitched as he imagined the group of reporters as a pack of wild carnivores who had just found something they weren't sure about.

"but a *gaijin*," repeated a woman for what seemed like the twentieth time.

"Foreign royalty, and the boy has been kept ignorant of his heritage so that he could develop a more practical education free of the prejudices and court politics that might otherwise have occurred."

-----------

"FIANCEE?!" This coming simultaneously from three different daughters and yet had a certain degree of dismay within their tone.

"I hope he's not a gaijin, they're so... foreign," said Kasumi trying to find a way of stating politely that she thought this was a bonehead idea.

"Is he cute?" Nabiki waggled her eyebrows expressively. "Rich? Tall? A foreign made all road vehicle with light mileage and rugged good looks?"

"HE IS *NOT* MY BOYFRIEND!" Akane shouted, then turned her head. She had her heart set on Doctor Tofu, and anyway - didn't they have to figure out why that girl Shampoo had been in bed with her?!

"He's the son of a good friend of mine: Genma Saotome. We made this deal years ago."

"Waitaminute, hold the phone." Nabiki held her hands out in a t-shape. "You don't mean Shard-san then, do you?" Then Nabiki noticed something that she'd been in too much of a hurry to notice before. When had she gotten a manicure?

"Oh," said Kasumi, a little disappointed and relieved all at once. Akane would be a better match for Shard-san anyway. Americans were a little weird and their women were always beating on their men, so Akane ought to fit in just fine.

"Huh? Oh good," sighed Akane.

"They've been on a training trip and recently went to China. They'll be here anytime soon."

*CRASH!*

"That must be them!" Soun began running towards the door, Nabiki just barely ahead of him.

"Run! Run for your lives!"

"BRreeeeauuugghhhhH! SNORlax!"

------------

Artemis let himself in. "Mamoru-san, Luna's found something!"

Mamoru Chiba visibly restrained himself. "Another false lead on Usako? Or on Dark Generals that we don't have the manpower to go after anyway?"

"An ally in an alley," began Artemis, going on to a brief description of the mysterious encounter. "The problem being that Luna suspects a trap."

"Luna's paranoid," said Mamoru. He didn't have much patience left with Luna since the Senshi had vanished.

"She also isn't sure about the name of the high school, she was so busy trying to remember the details of that bastard line from Queen Serenity I's half-brother, that she forgot it."

"Why could I tell that was coming?" Mamoru sighed. "Whenever it's important she's either getting the details wrong or forgetting them entirely. Such as coming up with the 'Sailor Moon' identity when she should have remembered Usagi was 'Princess Serenity' and that there was *no* Senshi of the Moon."

"Yes, well..." Artemis really didn't want to get into this argument.

"Well, we have only one thing we can do. Ignore her."

"Uhm..."

Mamoru shook his head. "Okay fine. We stake out high schools for someone we have only a vague description of."

"A tall blonde gaijin gymnast? How many of those do you think are in Tokyo?"

---------

"I need a bath," said the redhaired girl with a tone of absolute disgust in her voice.

Of course, at one point she'd been completely swallowed by the Bear-Thing, and was currently wearing a slimy coating of drool. So having a nearly overwhelming desire to bathe was not too hard to believe.

Fortunately the beast had gotten itself under control after a few minutes, though Nabiki (having spent some time sticking out of the corner of its mouth like some struggling cigar) was watching it with a manner of both digust and alarm.

The 1500 pound creature was clumsily writing with a pen and paper, and Soun was reading it and occasionally nodding and making some sort of comment, but Nabiki was NOT going near the creature if she could help it.

In fact she was giving serious thought that if the big beast was allowed to stay overnight, that she should go see Shard-san about spending the night there. She could help him with kanji or use some similar excuse if nothing else. Or maybe one of her factors could put her up.

That she'd heard someone (a boy named Konjo) make a remark to a group of mixed friends that Nabiki couldn't possibly have a relationship with the foreign boy. Because if he did then he would freeze parts of his anatomy off required to make a marriage work. Which reminded Nabiki that she needed to come up with some PR. She'd have just avenged herself if the large crowd hadn't come up with a number of suggestions and additions to that statement, indicating that it had become widely accepted as fact.

Akane had gotten very hot and sweaty and announced she was going to go bring the girl a spare gi and take a bath herself.

Nabiki frowned. SHE wanted a bath too, but you couldn't comfortably fit that many people in the bathroom. "I'm going to change clothes. Watch yourself Kasumi."

"aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Akane came running past to grab the table and turn around to go back towards the bathroom.

"What's wrong THIS TIME, Akane?" Nabiki was getting heartily sick and tired of Akane always making a scene about every little thing.

"There's a pervert in the bathtub," Akane exclaimed.

-------

"So what do we do?" One reporter asked another.

The press in Japan was decidedly different from the press in the United States and certain other locales.

The American press, for example, exulted in "digging up the dirt" and "damn the consequences". Anything done by a public figure of any notoriety that was even slightly scandalous was to be dragged out in large bold face and poured over for the maximum effect. There was a common predominant agenda, though this was less a conspiracy as it was the same sort of "pull together" mentality that saw police officers covering up each other's gaffes blunders and outright impropriety. With the addition that those commonly able to work their way up through this particular rank and file had a certain mindset and talent that was more treacherous and backstabbing than the majority of politicos they followed.

The Japanese press was a whole different breed of fish. While they might "dig up dirt" - they had an overwhelming desire to present their own country in the best possible light at all times. There was also the desire to not make waves and not dwell on "petty issues". They were Japanese, after all.

So a core group of reporters were meeting together with editors and working out a game plan.

An *American* directly linked to the Imperial Line. Scandalous. And not likely to sit well with the Japanese public.

How to keep it quiet, then gauge the correct time for the news to be slowly released to the public, that was the problem here.

In an American news conference, the idea that the current president had a relation who was a foreign national would have been screamed in banners, there would have been daily updates with computer animation cutscenes and a fancy name like "Heritage Crisis" to keep the public's interest focussed on the problem, even if the average member of the public likely wouldn't care much at all.

These were Japanese, however. Those assigned to work with the Emperor and the upper strata of the society were not inclined towards rashness or spectacle.

So in a group of reporters teleconferencing with their editors, a decision was reached in quick order.

Ignore for now and dignity would be maintained.

--------

Akane was redefining glare as she stared at Ranma. Relax her attitude about boys just a little and *wham* here came a pervert trying to take advantage of it.

"'Spring of Drowned Bear-Demon' seems to be more accurate, actually," suggested Nabiki. Maybe she should invest in some spirit wards around her room.

"Yes, well, I usually have better control," suggested Genma.

"He's either eating or sleeping usually, in either form," grumbled Ranma.

"So cold water turns him into a hungry monster, and you into a girl with weird ears," noted Nabiki aloud.

Soun laughed. "Well, son, your problem isn't so bad after all."

"Huh?" Ranma wondered what planet Soun was from that turning into a girl with weird ears and a tail while having a father that was 1500 pounds of appetite was not considered "so bad."

"These are my three daughters. Kasumi is 19. Nabiki, she's 17. And then there's Akane. She's 16. Pick any one you like, and she'll be your fiancee."

Three blinks as it penetrated that this not only meant that their father still was going with this engagement idea, that accepting it meant that the Bear-Demon would be showing up on a regular basis in their lives.

"Oh, he wants Akane," said Kasumi, trying to push Akane forward.

"Nabiki, he definitely wants Nabiki," suggested Akane, trying to get behind Nabiki.

"Kasumi would seem the wisest choice," indicated Nabiki as she tried to duck behind Kasumi.

"No, Akane's the martial artist."

"Nabiki would certainly be the best candidate."

"Kasumi should do it, the duty falls on the eldest, right?"

"Akane!" "Nabiki!" "Kasumi!"

The three girls had not fought since they were all very young children. A shoving match suddenly erupting between the three was completely unexpected but somehow inevitable as each sought to have one of the others pushed forward on this great occasion.

"But Father already engaged me to Shard-sama," said Kasumi realizing that a small apartment didn't take that long to clean and she might be able to go on and take some college at last. "And Akane doesn't like boys."

"Uhmmmf," said Nabiki, wondering where Kasumi had developed that kind of strength. "No, no, I'm going after Shard-san."

"Hey, Greylle-chan is MY boyfriend! ERK!" Akane turned red and flushed as she realized what she had just said. During her moment of shock she found herself pushed forward.

"Akane it is!" Nabiki and Kasumi chorused.

Akane hesitated for a brief moment with a "deer in the headlights" expression before she proved that she was indeed the Heir of the Tendo School, slipping around her sisters' hands and coming up behind them to push them both forward. "No, no. I insist. BOTH of you can marry Ranma."

Ranma was of two minds about this whole scene. He wasn't anxious to get married - hell no! He thought the idea of an arranged marriage was NOT something he wanted to experience personally. Especially when he had just turned sixteen and hadn't experienced anything of life other than martial arts.

On the other hand, Ranma wasn't at all thrilled with the idea of being passed over like stale bread. What was this, Marked Down from being a Blue Light Special?

Kasumi revealed that she had remembered some of her martial arts training and suddenly Nabiki was practically stumbling over the table into Ranma's lap. "Well, Nabiki, didn't you say you needed a new hobby?"

Nabiki didn't like this. She preferred being in control of the situation. Holding up one finger, she said in a low voice to Ranma: "You don't want to be my iinazuke. Trust me on this. Akane's a martial artist and Kasumi's a great cook. Now excuse me for a moment."

Nabiki turned back to try and send either Kasumi or Akane back. She wasn't a warrior, but she wasn't a quitter either.

-------

Greylle walked home, a long day but he'd definitely made a potentially useful contact. He could get more details out of Luna, possibly connect with Mamoru Chiba and Artemis. Some of those Silver Millenium gadgets could come in *quite* handy. Just a spare Mercury Computer could increase his capabilities enormously. A disguise pen or compact could be hooked into a marionette's circuitry, and possibly result in something like Cutey Honey's transformations.

"Excuse me, sir."

The transformed dragon blinked as he saw three men approach. Black suits, black glasses, fairly massive weightlifter builds. They moved like professionals - military or combat forces, not quite the gliding walk that ninjas or martial artists often manifested. "Yes?"

The lead suit bowed while the other two looked off to the sides. "Mister Shard, my employer wants to make you an offer."

"Uh *huh*," Greylle wasn't sure about this. Sure he was fairly strong, and could always shift to dragon if he was led into a trap, but if this was Yakuza they'd have access to stuff that could really hurt him. Not to mention the marionette he was putting together.

"He wants to meet with you tomorrow at 9am, if you're amenable to it."

"i'm in school then."

"Not a problem. It will be arranged."

"Fine then," said Greylle. Didn't sound like Yakuza. Some major corporation perhaps? But how would they have found out he had gadgets that... Nabiki. Somehow Nabiki had found out about some of his gadgetry, perhaps she'd seen his watch, and sold him out. Or at least the info. Clearly he hadn't been careful enough.

"Tomorrow, then." The three suits backed off and left.

Greylle pondered for another moment, deciding some sort of payback was mandated against Nabiki, but he'd have to see what developed before he settled on something. Maybe he could contact the office and have one of the Curses Of Embarassment hurled on her. Nothing too debilitating, but something that would annoy her on a regular basis. Hmmmm.

---------

Soun Tendo stared.

There had been long a degree of rivalry between Nabiki and Akane. One of the reasons Nabiki had abandoned the martial arts, perhaps THE reason, was that Akane had a greater natural talent for physical violence. Enjoyed it more too.

Soun had expected that the daughters would grow out of it.

Of course, he was still waiting for Akane to grow out of the "smashing bricks as therapy" stage and for Nabiki to stop declaring everything she could to be hers.

Watching all three of his daughters arguing about who would make the best match for the gaijin as opposed to Genma's son, well, it brought back memories. In some ways it seemed as if ten years had been stripped from his daughters and at any moment Kimiko would come in and have to break up the fight.

Kasumi tried logic. Well, sort of. "Ranma's a martial artist, and since you hate boys Akane, you're in luck. Ranma's half girl!"

"Gee, thanks a lot," grumbled Ranma.

Akane responded in kind. "Oh no you don't. He's a pervert. I've had more than enough of perverts. You need someone to take care of, and he certainly strikes me as needing all the help he can get."

Ranma twitched, just a little. "You know, I didn't ask to be engaged to nobody."

"On the other hand, Nabiki could really use someone in her life."

"Excuse me? Does little Miss Bouncy here strike you as having two yen to scrape together? I'm the 'heartless mercenary ice bitch' remember?"

"Uhm," began Ranma.

"Did I say that?" Akane tried to remember. "Was that after you put the frog in my bed when I was twelve?"

Ranma smiled as an idea occurred. Then he quietly got up and left.

"No it was last week!" Nabiki glared at Akane. "Besides, shouldn't KASUMI be the first choice?"

"I'll go for that," agreed Akane.

"Excuse me!"

---------

Greylle walked up the stairs, wishing as he had every time he'd done them over the past three weeks, that he could simply fly up to the landing at the end of the hallway. The steps were narrow, not meant for the over-tall (he kept finding that water pipe that hung down over the third floor landing), and oddly steep.

Unfortunately, even if he "went dragon" it was entirely too narrow for his bulk.

He opened the door to his apartment and immediately *knew* that something was decidedly different.

Maybe it was the two sky blue eyes blinking at him.

The familiar-looking girl pointed at him and turned to the Mercury marionette. "This him?"

"Yes."

Greylle could *see* the grid and crosshairs appear in those otherwise guileless blue eyes.

"Recording data. Master set. Name: Greylle Shard. Species: Dragon, silver, transformed to human, nordic. Done." The marionette shook her head.

"Ami? What did you do?" Greylle asked in a very reasonable tone.

"Waiiii!" The marionette who had an extremely close resemblence to Usagi Tsukino launched herself. "Yes! Greylle-chan sukii desu!"

*WHAM!*

"In English, Usagi." Ami blinked repeatedly and cocked her head. "I can't understand it, everything seems to work fine except for her balance adjustors."

Usagi picked herself up again and succeeded this time in latching onto her target.

"Ami, what DID you do?"

Ami quickly explained that she'd found some notes about using a pokeball's matter/energy transformation to finish manufacturing processes.

"That hasn't been experimented on because there's some serious dangers involved. Such as producing defective units." Greylle let out a deep breath and tried to extricate himself. He was finding it unusually difficult. "Uprated strength?"

"Unit Usagi has 1,200 horsepower," bragged Usagi. "Tritanium frame. According to my specs, I can run at a top speed of 140kph with a cruising safe speed of 75kph."

"I noticed that your design replaced her odango with twin ponytails. Why?" Ami asked.

"More practical." Greylle rubbed his forehead and wished that Excedrin had been on the budget. "Okay, Usagi, i'm going to need to do an exam and see what isn't working."

--------

"Well, I guess the only solution is to have Ranma engaged to all three of my daughters. If a primary one must be selected - it should be Akane since she *is* the Heir to the Tendo style." Soun proclaimed in his infinite wisdom.

The three daughters let out a simultaneous sigh. Being engaged to a gaijin hadn't sounded nearly so bad after they'd seen a sullen girl turn into a surly boy.

"Just wonderful. I... Say, where's Ranma anyway?" Nabiki being the first to note that the "prize" had escaped sometime during the argument.

Genma blinked as he realized he'd fallen asleep during the scene and hadn't realized what was going on. "That ungrateful boy!"

"So, Ranma's a catgirl, huh?"

Kasumi blinked "Catgirl, Nabiki? Like in 'Hyper Police'?"

"Yup, redheaded catgirl." Nabiki paused to consider possibilities.

"Just don't say that in front of Ranma," suggested Genma. "He... has a problem with cats. He has just been assuming he's some sort of magical girl, if he knew he turned into a *cat*girl, he'd be impossible to be around."

"I sense a story here," said Nabiki. "Unfortunately Ranma seems to have fled."

"Ungrateful boy," repeated Genma. "Still, he'll be back."

-----------

Ranma grumbled as he walked along. This was not a good day. Bad enough to be engaged to someone he'd never met, but to be passed around like a hot potato. Not that he could blame them, this kind of curse would major weird out anybody.

At least he'd lost Shampoo.

"Excuse please?"

Ranma made a note to never ever think something like that again.

Sure enough, the purple haired girl was wearing a Chinese jumpsuit and looking nervous about something. "Excuse please, have you seen tall blonde boy about this tall, fairly strong look? Or redhaired girl with pointed ears, she about this tall?"

"Uhm, no." Ranma said, grinning and shaking his head rapidly.

Shampoo deflated a little further. "Shampoo having very bad, very weird, day."

"Me too," quietly grumbled Ranma, then froze as he felt the rain coming down.

"Shampoo think this day suck wind very very much. Sham... HUH?!" Shampoo's mouth hung open and her eyes were wide.

"Heh heh," said Ranma, back up a few steps.

"You... is Ranma?" Shampoo's mind went into a whirl. "Ranma is boy or girl?"

"Heh, well..."

"You is girl?!"

"Hey! I'm a guy!"

Shampoo looked thoughtful for a moment. "This day really suck wind something awful. NOW what is Shampoo to do?"

"Well, I gotta be going, places to do, things to see, you know how it is. Ri-mfffff?!"

Shampoo leaned back from her kiss, making a brief face. "Would much prefer do this when you is guy again, but Shampoo screw up too often lately and not think Great Grandmama understand."

"Hah?"

Shampoo explained patiently. "Shampoo is girl. Prefer guy to do kiss with. Except boys back in village either wimp like Floss or scruffy looking nerfherder like Guan Yu, or just plain annoying like Mousse."

"Huh?"

"Now Shampoo marry Ranma and everybody be happy!"

"AAaaaaaaaaaa!"

Shampoo frowned at the dustcloud retreating into the distance. "Shampoo reitata- reitara- repeat. Today suck wind." Shampoo thought a few moments. Maybe if her dream had been accurate, she could find *other* airen!

---------

"Okay, Usagi, close your chest panel."

The twin ponytailed blonde android complied. "Well, Master?"

Greylle winced. "Could you use some other term? As to your status. Do either of you know the theories behind the architecture of the Ishii Kairo?"

Unsurprisingly, it was the Ami unit who responded. "The Ishii Kairo was developed by you in your lifetime as Mamoru Tengoku, a marionette repairman who had several theories of alternate developments for the marionettes of Terratoo. The Ishii Kairo or 'Will Circuit' was developed as an alternate to the less easily produced Otome Kairo or 'Maiden Circuit'. In addition to the main neuralnet brain located in the head, the area corresponding to a human heart is equipped with a set of three linked storage/processing units. Instead of the Otome Kairo's ability to instantly grant emotion and a childlike mentality, the Ishii Kairo instead learns patterns of emotive response and behavioral guidelines."

"There's more to it than that." Greylle sat down and looked around. "Man, it's gonna be crowded tonight. Don't suppose someone made tea? No, huh? Just as well, i suppose. Remember that you're not hooked up yet for eating or drinking. More upgrades to make, oh dear."

"Emot-o whatsist?" Usagi was lost. Available database insufficient. She made a note to download specifics on her own design. It could come in handy.

"The Ishii Kairo was originally designed to act in a similar manner to human brains. AnEmotive/Creative part, a Rational/Mechanical part, and an Animal part. Each relates to the android brain in a different manner, adding its input and processing regarding a specific aspect of the world around it. Like the Otome Kairo, it's based on engram technology."

Mercury nodded. "In Usagi's case, I was able to find and download a scan done of the original."

"Don't do that without checking with me first." Greylle shook his head again. "In any case, what you did was jumpstart the Emotive, the equivelant of the human brain's Left Lobe. However in the construction process, a defect formed in the balance and control sections. Usagi will always be a bit clumsy and overly prone to extremes of emotion. Not that this isn't perfectly in keeping with the original."

Usagi scratched her head. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"THAT we'll have to see about. Now i'm going to get a shower and get ready for bed. You two... try to clean this place up and find a corner to sleep in."

--------

"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" This was followed by the sound of something breakable getting reduced to smaller pieces.

Ranma stopped. Did she *really* want to continue in this direction? No, not really. Though a fight *might* actually allow her to unleash some stress, the way this day had been going would seem to indicate that something *bad* would result.

Next thing you knew, Pops would be engaging him to boys! Nope, didn't want to go there. Didn't even want to come close to the neighborhood.

Which meant...

*BONK!*

Genma lowered the streetsign, grabbed Ranma by the collar, and dragged his troublesome child back to the dojo. The boy wasn't going to upset all his plans THAT easily.

-------

Ami watched, monitoring the apartment around her.

Greylle slept, after disentangling himself from Usagi's attempts to treat him as a plush toy.

Usagi's Ishii Kairo was advanced enough to emulate sleep while in a minimal power mode. Her dreams were attempting to process some of the data she'd downloaded earlier.

Ami tugged lightly at the cord leading from her "belly button" to the Mister Fusion (a portable fusion device that ran off water) and which was running her systems directly while her batteries would continue to keep their charge.

She wasn't sufficiently developed to emulate sleep patterns, though she was observing both her Master's and Usagi's sleep in order to further things.

Not knowing what else to do, she hadn't altered the four thieves very much. She'd scanned files, and had returned them to the home noted in three of those files. Placing them in their beds, with a suggestion that they treat their visit as a dream, was a method of putting off what to do with them until later.

Listening to the radio talk show, Ami had discovered that thieves were punished. Usually by incarceration, something called "community service", and/or primitive attempts at behavior modification. Another show had revealed something called "hypnosis" which could modify behavior to stop bad habits like snoring, cigarette smoking, or overeating.

There hadn't been time to make many modifications. So Ami had treated it like a computer problem, which she *did* understand thanks to the files she'd downloaded on the subject. If you couldn't fix it now, you left a back door so that you could get in later and fix it.

Hopefully that wouldn't take long.

-------

Kasumi prepared for bed in her usual manner, as if it had been an ordinary day.

Excluding waking up in her bed in late afternoon with vague memories of a dream in which she'd snuck into Shard-san's room only to be sucked inside some kind of softball. (What THAT dream meant was obviously going to take a lot of figuring out.) Also excluding that she still wasn't off the hook as far as being engaged to a brash and impolite young man who turned into a girl at odd times. Also excluding the fact that the young man was currently chained up in one of the spare rooms, or that Akane was apparently sleeping around with foreign girls (though she should have seen it coming with all her talk about hating boys), or that she seemed to have a gap of five hours of her day.

Her father's explanation seemed the most logical: some virus going around and she and Nabiki had just taken a quick lie down. She still didn't feel quite right.

So she had a quick lie down with her current romance novel, sipping on a chamomile blend tea as she had one of the few moments not involved in meeting the needs of her family in her day. Her baths, reading in the evening after her last chores, and...

Kasumi stopped. What else did she do? She was drawing a blank. There was something though. Oh yes, when she got out her henshin pen and transformed to Sailor Triton (sailorsuited warrior of love and housework) and fought evil...

Kasumi set down the romance novel. She was obviously running a fever. HER?! Wearing a skirt that short and fighting demonic beings? She HAD to stop reading Nabiki's manga.

------

Akane sulked. Here she was engaged to a baka hentai. Her heart belonged to Doctor Tofu! Even if Doctor Tofu only had eyes for Kasumi. And Kasumi couldn't see anything beyond a silly-acting clown since that was how Doctor Tofu acted around her.

SHE had to be engaged to someone who turned into a girl. Someone who decided not to bother telling anyone about this, no doubt like those perverts at school who continually tried to peep. Well, fine. She'd find a way out of this. Get Nabiki or Kasumi to marry the freak.

If she had to be engaged to someone why couldn't they have been like Doctor Tofu? With his shaggy blonde hair, and filling out his baseball uniform so well, and those crystalline blue eyes looking at her in that special way?

Why couldn't...?!

Akane beat her head against the desk. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Taking a deep breath, Akane focussed again on Doctor Tofu. That cute smile and those red eyes, Chinese dress stretched out over tight curves, purple... hair?!?!

*WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!* Bad thoughts, VERY bad thoughts!

-------

Nabiki stared out at the night. She didn't like this situation much at all.

Most people thought that money was the "be all" of Nabiki's existence. This wasn't quite true. Money was simply the easiest way to keep score. Her mischief, the money, it was all about what you could do with it - control. Control of herself and control of her environment. And if that meant a reputation as the Ice Queen/Iron Bitch then that was a job requirement she would have to fulfill. Power as measured in fear, money, and control.

In a perfectly rational world, everything fit within the paradigm taught in school. And within that paradigm, money and control were the primary things that translated as Power.

Nabiki had recently gotten a glimpse at a whole different order of power. Not the martial arts that her sister practiced and excelled at. That had been demonstrated quite amply to be ineffective in certain circumstances.

Magic was real.

Dragons. Alien time travelling princes. Healing spells. Magic curses.

Not one damn hint of any of these in the courses she'd taken. Yet she'd had all practically rubbed in her face of late.

Nabiki listened to the rhythmic banging from Akane's room and looked out into the night. Nabiki also said something to the effect of what the paradigm taught in the schools could do to itself.

A glance down at her hands, with what appeared to be a fairly expensive manicure that she *knew* she hadn't paid for. Once she'd had a chance she'd checked herself over quite extensively, and had gone to have a brief conversation with Kasumi about doing dishes. She'd examined Kasumi as best she could without being obvious. Then looked over Akane similarly before returning to the haven of her room.

Nabiki knew from her self-examination that *something* had happened in the missing two hours of her day. An old scar from the day she'd given up martial arts (Akane had "accidently" thrown her through a dojo wall and into a rock on the other side) was missing. So was a little scar on one finger, an old burn from where she'd briefly tried to become a scientific genius (the less of that said, the better as far as she was concerned), and the callouses on the bottom of her feet were missing.

In short, her skin was softer and smoother than she could remember it. The tiny fine hairs she'd had along her arms and legs were likewise missing. She could find no blemishes or marks on her skin. For this to have happened, she would have had to spend at least a week at a very expensive spa. Just the repairs on the split ends in her bangs would have taken longer than two hours.

Which led to the obvious conclusion: Magic.

Could this be something the dragon had done? Some kind of payback for having put her through the ordeal in the stream? Possibly.

Was she about to let it go? Possibly.

She'd considered getting even with the dragon. The problem was how. She could reveal the dragon's location, selling it to a news channel. IF the dragon was still there, and IF it remained where it could be caught, and IF it wasn't like the dragons of legends and able to change shape, and IF they remembered to pay her, and IF it didn't get away, then she could turn a profit on the deal.

However, if any of those IFs went wrong, she'd be destroying her credibility at the least. At the worst, she'd quietly vanish at some point because the dragon would track her down and EAT her.

Nabiki didn't like that idea. Not one little bit. She was allergic to being eaten. Heck, she'd have trouble just with the amount of pain those jaws could inflict on her admittedly tender little body.

A shadow passed across the moon.

*ZOOM!*

Slowly, the large bump under the bedsheets poked her head out again. Just a cloud. Silly.

Nabiki got up, turned off her light, and chuckled at the silliness of it all. There wasn't any reason for her to concern herself with this. No reason to change her behavior. None at... all.

Nabiki stared at her ceiling.

During her "gonna be the greatest mad scientist in the world" phase (outgrown when she was twelve), Nabiki had put a few of those nite-glo stars up on her ceiling. She'd dreamed at that point of becoming an intrepid explorer of outer space, and Akane could wear a red shirt and be beamed down onto strange planets while Nabiki wore blue, smirked and said how fascinating it all was. There hadn't been any particular pattern to what she'd done with the stars, and her father had discouraged the watching of gaijin sci-fi programs shortly thereafter.

Except that those stars were now arranged in a pattern. A very recognizable pattern.

"After school, go to the roof."

Nabiki stared at the message for long sleepless hours.

================


Yet Another "What If Ranma Was Raised By" omake
by Gregg Sharp

--------

Soun ran for the door, a moment behind Nabiki. "Saotome! My old friend!"

Nabiki got to the door first, opened it, and *froze* as if she'd seen something far scarier than a rampaging giant panda.

"Sao..." Soun reached the door and his hair turned white. "Eeep. Mommy."

Genma was there, all right, looking moderately frightened. He'd come by once since his son's disappearance years ago, something to do with a training exercise being interrupted by the authorities, but had not had this young man with him.

"Soun Tendo?" The young man asked. "My biological father here tells me you know something about the location of a wanted criminal. May we come in?"

Soun nodded and backed away, pausing only to pull his petrified daughter along behind him.

Kasumi's sharp intake of breath and Akane's silent "whoa" both indicated that the significance of the boy's uniform was not lost on them.

"Uhm, you can't carry firearms in Japan?" Soun tried to point out.

"I'll show you the permits if you like, Tendo-san. Ladies." The young man nodded towards the girls. "Oh yes, introductions. My name is Ranma Saotome, though on-duty I go by the name of Judge Ranma. Sorry if I'm not up on the niceties of Japanese customs, I've been in Megacity One with my sempai Judge Dredd for several years since my bio-father committed several incidents of Petty Theft and a Reckless Endangerment Of A Juvenile."

"Uhm, right," said Soun, well aware of the reputation of the Judges. Shoot First, Shoot Often, Arrest The Remains. "Well, uhm, did your Father mention the honor agreement between families?"

Ranma's eyes were flat. "He mentioned that a perp from a few years back would be expected to show up here. A felon. Numerous cases of Petty Theft, Assault, Assault With A Deadly Weapon, Sexual Assault, Fraud, Identity Theft, Lying To A Law Officer, Attempted Murder, and numerous other incidents. You apparently studied under him?"

"Yes, the dread Master, he's no longer with us," said Soun. "He's passed on."

"Judge Anderson indicates he'll likely return to his two pupils. So this is where I'll wait for him." Judge Ranma indicated.

"He'll return from the grave?" Nabiki eeped.

"Seen that sort of thing before," indicated the Judge. "Ain't pretty. So what honor agreement were you talking about?"

"Uhm, well you see..."

----------

Nabiki went to school first. Why? Because she had to dismantle her network and caution everyone who would listen just WHAT was coming to school today. Anyone linking her to underage pornography, blackmail, or gambling was going down with her!

Akane went to school, convincing herself that just because the Judges had a reputation - they were not true martial artists and therefore she could beat Ranma. Right? Right!

Kasumi decided she liked Ranma's uniform and oh my - wasn't it so much quieter and more peaceful in the neighborhood all of a sudden?

Ranma walked behind Akane. He didn't like being in Japan. Too quiet.

"Akane! I love you!" "Don't let anyone else beat you, Akane!" "Akane! I'll defeat you in the name of love!"

*click* *click*

The assembled throng stopped as suddenly someone was in front of Akane and he had two really damn big guns pointed in their direction.

"Do I understand that you are trying to Assault With Deadly Force and considering Rape?" Judge Ranma asked in a sweet voice.

Much shaking of heads.

One of the slightly quicker morons added a qualifier. "Uhm. This is just a, uhm, morning ritual. To decide who is worthy of asking Akane out?"

The guns weren't moving. "Tendo-san? Did you agree to this ritual?"

Akane wasn't paying attention, otherwise she could have said "no" and had someone arrest the Horde Of Hentai and she'd never be troubled by any of them again. Instead she reacted to someone interfering in her fight. "Don't get involved in MY FIGHT!"

Ranma moved fluidly out of the way of the bookbag swing, then lashed out with a backhand that knocked Akane off her feet. "My apologies gentlemen. It appears that she does agree to the terms and conditions you've set. Knock yourselves out."

Akane managed a startled shriek before she was dogpiled by the Sumo Team.

Judge Ranma had just started forward when someone stepped from behind a tree.

"Who dares to dictate terms to the great Tatewaki Kuno? I will not hear of such things."

"Judge Ranma, Megacity One. The lady agrees to your terms, so I'm not interfering."

"MMMMMff!" A muffled might-have-been-a-protest occurred from within the pile of bodies.

One of the hentai had an idea. "Hey, we've all defeated her, therefore we all get to date her, right?"

"MMMMMff!" Again a muffled might-have-been-a-protest occurred from within the pile of bodies.

"I think I do not like the implication that you may set or trifle with my decision," said Tatewaki Kuno, proving that he was indeed a moron who couldn't keep his mouth shut. "I shall have to smite you for your impertinence."

"You're announcing that you intend to assault a law officer with that stick?" Judge Ranma asked calmly.

"Have at thee!"

*BLAM!*

"Idiot," said Judge Ranma. "Bringing a stick to a gunfight."

"You... you killed Kuno?!" One of the Horde looked at the smouldering fallen Kuno and back at the Judge.

"Nah," Ranma assured him. "Used a drug bullet as a warning. Heard there was sexual abuse problems at this school so I loaded one gun with special bullets. He'll be okay in a few days. Won't be able to have kids or be interested in sex but otherwise okay. Chemical castration. Oh well."

The assembled Horde, and even a few not amongst their number, crossed their legs and gave thanks for Akane's temper.

----------

"Hey, Nabiki," said a familiar voice at lunchtime.

Nabiki froze again, beginning to sweat profusely.

"You'll never guess what this punk said." Ranma gave the boy a shake. "He said you're in the Yakuza. Heh. Can you imagine, with the old men trying to get us engaged? A Judge and a member of the local crime syndicate?"

"Nope," squeaked Nabiki.

"Thought so," agreed Ranma. "Bub. You lying about a nice girl like Nabiki here. What *am* I gonna do with you?"

"Let me go with a warning?" Hikaru Gosunkugi tried hopefully. "Please? I'll throw myself on the mercy of the court?"

"I'm a Judge. Mercy ain't on the court's itinerary." Ranma turned to Nabiki, noting the manic grin and wild eyes. "You okay there? You look a little off."

Nabiki fainted.

Ranma had to let the perp go. Saving a civvie's life was before such a minor crime.