Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Reluctant Bet (2nd Labor) ❯ A Pikachu named Ed ( Chapter 10 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Reluctant Bet:
Segment 10
"A pokemon named Ed"

Ranma Saotome, Ranko Saotome, Genma Saotome, Nodoka Saotome, Akane Tendo, Soun Tendo, Kasumi Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, Ukyo (Spatgirl) Kuonji, Ryoga (P-Chan) Hibiki, Shampoo, Mousse, Tatewaki (Blue Thunder) Kuno, Kodachi (Black Rose) Kuno, Dr Tofu Ono, Happosai, and Hinako (Vampira) Ninnomiya are copyright by Rumiko Takahashi.

Pikachu, Magmarashi, pokemon, pokeball, Ponyta, Squirtle, Charmander, Lizardon/Charizard, General Havok, Bulbasaur, Sandshrew, Vulpix, Machop, Eevee and Team Rocket are copyright Nintendo.

Kiyone, Mihoshi, Tenchi Masaki, Sasami (Pretty Sammi) Jurai-ou, Washu, Seiryuu, Ayeka (Call Me Princess) Jurai-ou, Tsunami, and Ryoko are copyright Pioneer.

Urd, Belldandy, Keiichi Morisato, Skuld, Yggdrasil Network, Goddess Relief Office, Earth Assistance Hotline, Marller, Senbei, Telecommuting Goddesses, and Megumi Morisato are copyright Kosuke Fujishima.

Grey, the Rival Relief Office, the Barely Adequate Force, The Knights Of The True Probability Matrix, Toltiir, Pandimensional Express, the Quest For The Ultimate Peanut Butter Sandwich, are copyright Shigatsu Bakano.

---------------------

Target Timeline:

"Oh come now, I'm not here to punish you, Genma Saotome. YET." The goddess looked a bit uncomfortable at Genma's wailing and the way Soun was cringing.

Genma stopped grovelling but remained in the Crouch Of The Wild Tiger. Just in case.

"And WHO are YOU supposed to be?" Nabiki was trying to remain cool and aloof but suspected the woman's identity and was trying to avoid joining Genma in his endeavor.

"Who am *I*, Nabiki Tendo? I am... 'Ranma's' new fiancee, per a little agreement with Nodoka Saotome."

Shampoo frowned, not understanding. She understood SOMETHING about this woman frightened Ukyo and Nabiki, and therefore there was a danger here. Drawing weapons, she prepared a fight. "You engaged to little brother? Shampoo challenge you! Only fit warrior marry!"

"Okay." The woman held up a hand, pointing the palm at Shampoo. Gold flames shot across the room at the Amazon.

Shan leapt in front, blocking the blast, but was knocked back into Shampoo and then through the wall.

"HEY! This is MY room!" Ukyo drew her spatula. She didn't care WHO it was, this was her home.

The goddess raised an eyebrow. "Kuonji-san. With the Disarmament, your ancestors put aside the sword and bow for the spatula. As their samurai clan was impoverished, they had to support themselves through skills other than warcraft. Remember, Kuonji-san, remember the pledge of your ancestors."

Ukyo blinked and seemed to sag. "You know? Then you ARE..."

"Amaterasu Omikami," agreed the goddess. "Sorry about the mess."

-------------

Shan hit the ground hard and shuddered a couple of times. "Technique: Solar Bomb. Acquisition Complete."

Shampoo merely groaned.

Shan picked herself up, estimating current power level at less than 75%. Insufficient for direct confrontation. That no combat was occurring in the room on the second floor indicated the possibility that there was no need for such measures.

She hoped so. She wanted to be in better shape before she had to acquire any other techniques.

--------------

A Pokemon World:

"So where's our client?" Kiyone held herself as if she was ready for a gang of hardened criminal space scum to show up and start shooting up the place. In fact, she would have *preferred* that to happen, as it was much more familiar ground. Keeping an eye out for living plush toys with elemental powers was not what she had envisaged on joining the RRO.

"Three hundred yards ahead." Grey walked and tried to study the display on his Rival Relief Office laptop. "Something is odd about this entry. We're supposed to help someone named Ed, but there's indication a Wish was used by him previously. Normally more than one Wish is prohibited except under special circumstances."

"Do tell." Kiyone was a bit distracted but this was more information, and you could never tell what bits the cyborg revealed would come in handy.

Sasami merely laughed while Magmarashi snickered.

"Yeah, Wishes are a PAIN. A lot of timelines get spun off by a Wish. If you had one and made a Wish for say, a world without Mihoshi, you might end up teleported to that Earth we were on that had the poisonous atmosphere. i visited one world where some guy had gotten a Wish and had sung along with the lyrics of 'California Girls' and stated the desire that 'I wish they all could be California Girls.' That had been bad."

Kiyone shuddered slightly at the thought of a whole world that looked like Mihoshi.

"Piiika?"

Grey looked at the plump yellow rodent in the clearing, then down at the display, then back at the rodent. "THAT is our client?"

"Chu?!" The pikachu went from looking for a way out to openly staring at Sasami and Kiyone.

"Well, i can't speak Pokemon, so THAT is a bit of a wrinkle." Grey started considering the problem and deciding how to overcome this.

Kiyone tried sign language briefly, then a few other languages she knew.

"Let's try this. Kiyone, i got you that carrisack and Sasami's backpack off the shelves. See if there's anything marked as a translator. The badge here only works for dominant human languages, and even then is kinda haphazard."

"Nothing here."

"I don't have anything like that either," said Sasami a moment later. "Just this."

"Don't wave magic wands around, Sasami. It's not polite."

"Oh my." She had merely thought it was something out of a Sailor Moon playset.

The pikachu flinched as well.

"How can they understand human language but not speak it?" Kiyone kept an eye out for any other pokemon. After all, they were an advantage to grab in a business where the agents were seriously underpowered compared to the other agencies and frequent missions.

"Some can, there's a talking meowth on a mainline. It's difficult and they have to teach themselves due to their mouth configuration being different."

"Ichu?" The pikachu scrunched up his face. "Ikka. Ii?"

"Ya can't do it THAT quick, fella." Grey gave him or her points for trying.

"Ichu!" The pikachu hopped over and grabbed a stick, scratching two letters into the dirt.

"ed? As in education?" Grey watched the pikachu facefault. "Oh. Your NAME is Ed?"

"Pika pi!" The pikachu ran up to Kiyone, noting that Sasami already had a pokemon. "Piii pika pi!"

"You want to be MY pokemon?" Kiyone got a little misty eyed but quickly dismissed it.

"Pikachu!" Ed solemnly nodded.

"Great, the mission was a level four intervention, which is a physical danger. Getting you out of the environment ought to do that. We just have one thing i need to do first."

"Pika?"

"What's that?" Kiyone held a hand out and let the pikachu scramble up to her shoulder.

"Get a replacement pokemon, and THAT looks like a good one."

------------------

Morisato Household:

Urd sprinkled powder into the circle, the magic guiding it into the correct pattern. All three Urds nodded as the last sparkling mote moved into place.

"Are you sure about this?" Belldandy looked askance at the Circle. It wasn't an Ultimate Circle Of Warding, merely a Mediocre Circle Of Conjuration. As Urd had said, it was appropriate and was sure to get the attention of Tyr (God Of Justice) and placate Bruno (God of Irony). Mainly because their assistance would strengthen the spell enormously.

"The bloodbond was done in a marriage ceremony, Bell. They violated an oath, a sacred promise, and Grey had TOLD them he was contacting rescue. If they hadn't planned on abandoning him from the first, they would have gravitated to him despite the dimensional influence. And look in that scrying glass. Only one of them has any regrets about how it turned out and the others are convincing her that it was all for the best."

Belldandy winced. Promises were something she valued highly, but this...

The three Urds began weaving their fingers through the smoke rising from the Circle.

"Let the weave between these five,
Strengthen, tighten, come alive.
Four who sought their oath to cheat,
Shall find it's not an easy feat.
To punish oathbreakers, Tyr, I ask,
Help me in this simple task.
They who sought only to depart,
Love shall bind now will and heart."

Urd had worked this all out in advance, however she had a habit of ad-libbing that had gotten her into trouble before. Remembering that an Elder god had an interest in the boy (though mainly as source of amusement), one of the Urds blurted out something she hoped would put extra power into the spell.

"Toltiir, cat of mischief, your assistance please lend,
The girls who used him, hearts and minds now bend."

Belldandy's eyes bugged. There wasn't much that could do it. This had. "Urd, NO!"

Of course, it was already too late.

---------------------

A Pokemon World:

"Prepare for trouble," said Tatewaki Kuno, brandishing a pokeball.

"And this is double!" Kodachi announced, delicately sniffing a black rose.

"To defend the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To become the icons of truth and love,"

"To conquer even the stars above!"

"Tatewaki!"

"Kodachi!"

"Team Kuno, striking with awesome might!"

"Surrender now or you'll see the light!"

"Uhm, lemmee guess, y'all are the badguys, right?" Lita wasn't too sure about this odd world they found themselves in but certain things seemed to fit into set patterns. These somehow struck her as minion villains.

"Give us all your valuables," suggested Kodachi, "and maybe we won't have to hurt you. MUCH."

"Starting with your pokemon!"

Lita stepped in front of her friends. "Well, even WITHOUT our transformation pens, I think I can handle you two without any problems."

"Ohhhh. I'm scared." Tatewaki chuckled and drew a short rod. With a flick of a button on the side, he telescoped it out and sent a crackling electric charge down its length.

"We don't HAVE any valuables," protested Mina, "just the clothes on our backs."

"Then, I'm afraid we'll just have to find another way to make a profit off of you!" Kodachi laughed as if at some joke. "And now... ARBOK!"

"AAAAAAA!" The ex-Scouts came to a consensus of opinion when confronted by an eight foot long cobra.

Lita thought she'd have to just do it. "JUPITER STAR POWER!"

"MARS STAR POWER!" Rei had come to the same conclusion. Nor was she alone.

"VENUS STAR POWER!"

"MERCURY STAR POWER!

"MAKE UP!"

The magic flared, but warped by the way the local universe worked.

"Bul?! Bulbasaur?" The toad with a plant growing out of its back was take-charge and confident. Deal with the personal crisis later.

"Char?! CHARMANDER CHAR!" The lizard with a flaming tail was also unhappy.

"MACHOP?!" This was not at all what she had planned.

"Ralll?!" The starfish-like creature was quite alarmed by the whole thing.

"They turned into pokemon?!" Tatewaki was a little dumbfounded.

Kodachi was quick to recover. "Arbok! Poison sting attack!"

Tatewaki threw a pokeball. "Drowzee! Hypnosis!" Then he waded in among the disoriented pokemon and beat them down with his stunstick. It didn't take long before all four pokemon were laid out.

"Now we've got them," Kuno held up a set of pokeballs, intent on the capture.

"MAGMARASHI!" A torrent of flame slammed into Drowzee causing it to collapse with little whisps of smoke pouring off of it.

"To strike at evil for truth and love," said Kiyone as she stepped from the path into the clearing. They hadn't seen much but HAD witnessed a rather brutal capturing of several pokemon.

"Even to travel the stars above," Grey grinned and let his pop-up weapon system activate. Blasting Kuno would be SO therapeutic.

"To punish you all for being so mean!" Sasami had been horrified. If Grey had been brutal in capturing Magmarashi, these two were in need of serious punishment.

"We'll smash you flat and pop your spleen." Grey winced, it was the best he could do.

"What?!" Sasami broke the mood with a questioning look up at Grey.

"We'll rehearse this later," promised Grey. "Okay you two, you really want to take us on?"

"ARBOK! Use your Screech attack!"

"PIIIKA CHUUUUUUU!" Ed decided he didn't want to be hit with that and was curious about how much voltage he could pump out in a single melee round. Apparently the answer was considerable.

"Well," Grey said in the following silence, "i've heard snake meat is fairly tasty."

"Well," Tatewaki said, "you may have defeated THOSE two, but now I shall have to teach you a lesson. In pain."

Grey leapt across the intervening distance and punched out, aiming for his opponent's mouth. He struck the Adam's apple instead with predictable results. He then had to perform an emergency measure to get air past the crushed windpipe.

Kiyone easily dispatched the other member of Team Kuno, aided with a couple of static bolts from Ed.

Sasami looked around. "They're all hurt! We gotta do something."

"Well, i was looking for a pokemon anyway." Grey got the unused pokeballs out. "Looks like i'll have to use these after all."

"Why do you have to catch them?" Kiyone wasn't disapproving, merely curious.

"Cause carrying them without that is gonna be difficult. Now they're keyed to me, but that's not a problem. As for Team Rocket well, i can't stuff Kuno there into a ball but he could use a hospital. i'll have to fly up, look for a city, then get us all there." Grey pointed to the charred arbok. "We'll get the Drowzee and Arbok for our trouble."

"Why did you want pokemon anyway? You said before you'd prefer not to use them." Sasami watched as Grey sucked one after the other of the fallen critters into pokeballs.

"Yeah, but we CAN use them and the attacks count as magic for creatures that can only be hurt by magic. i'd PREFER Hoi Hoi Capsules."

"'Hoi Hoi Capsules?' What are they?"

"When i first joined the Rival Relief Office, they were used by a lot of the agents. Then it was decided they were TOO useful and ended up confiscated by the Earth Assistance Hotline and eventually passed on to the Valkyries. They're a cylinder about the size and width of Kiyone's thumb. They use transporter pattern technology, you push a button and they transform back to their original form, usually a vehicle of some kind. Then when you're done, you can transform it back into a capsule. VERY handy."

Kiyone agreed that it DID sound like they would be handy, and without the moral problems of sending animals into fights.

------------------

Target Timeline:

Akane went to answer the front door and wondered where her father and sisters were. She was pleasantly surprised by who it was. "Doctor Tofu?!"

"Akane, it's been awhile. You look well."

Akane's smile dropped a notch as she considered why the good doctor was likely at the doorstep. "I'm sorry but Kasumi's not in right now."

"That's okay, Akane," said Doctor Tofu without so much as a blink. "I'm here to see you!"

"ME?!" Akane could feel her heart begin to race. "But... Doctor... I'm fine really."

"Akane, I know a demon has come to infest your home. You alone have withstood his spells."

"A demon?" Akane thought about it. "Isn't Ranma a little wimpy to be a demon?"

"No, Akane, consider how he's turned your family against you. Consider the things he's done. He's a demon and a very subtle and dangerous one."

Akane considered the possibility. After all, if you couldn't trust Doctor Tofu...

"I have something for you, Akane." Doctor Tofu presented a mallet to Akane. "This is a Demon Thwacker Mallet. If you strike Ranma in the head with this, it will drive the demon from the real Ranma's body."

Akane accepted the heavy mallet and noted the spirit wards inscribed into one of the business ends. "Wow. I had no idea you were into this sort of thing, Doctor!"

"Years of experience, Akane-chan. I can't use it myself, as the demon would be put on guard by my presence. YOU on the other hand..."

"This will stop him," Akane hefted the mallet, feeling a comfort in its weight.

"Yes, Akane. With one blow you can end his threat to your family forever."

-------------------

On noting that Amaterasu had brought a package "TO: Grey, FROM: Edema" it was natural of Shampoo to want to open her "brother's" mail. Likewise, considering that the last time they'd seen Edema she had just introduced them to her mother, the Tendo girls were QUITE interested in seeing this themselves.

Besides, everyone needed some time to mentally digest the shocks they'd been getting lately.

"More tapes?" Nabiki was a little disappointed that it wasn't magical items of some kind. Or gold. Or something else valuable and useful.

"Let's see," said Kasumi as she went through the cardboard sleeves. "'Mirrors Multiplied:Second Season tape 1: Armageddon Again', 'Fighting Blind: OAV 1', 'PB 10:Cosmo Knight's Blues', 'Long & Winding Road miniseries', 'Study In Scarlet', 'A Little Motherly Love'... Odd, look how different I am in these series..."

"Kasumi wearing Shampoo's dress on this cover," Shampoo pointed to one of the boxes. "She wear wedding dress on this one, is not on these two covers at all, and what this mean with red string hanging from finger on this one?"

"It's 'akai ito' - the red thread of fate that binds those who are fated to be lovers, and it's been cut short." Nabiki studied the Fighting Blind cassette box briefly. "From her expression, I'd say she did it and regrets it..."

--------------

A Pokemon World:

"Why don't you let them out?" Sasami watched as Grey first shrunk the pokeballs and then put them into his carrisack.

"They've been healed but they need additional rest. Besides, there's a bigger chance of seperation."

"Oh," Sasami said and reached up to scratch Magmarashi under the chin. "You stay close now!"

"Piika!" Ed agreed. No WAY did he want to be left behind in THIS kind of world.

"Team Kuno will be behind bars for awhile." Kiyone waved goodbye to Officer Jenny. Her younger sister, Cadet Jenny, watched carefully.

"Then it's time for this." Grey took the rod out and pushed the button.

The air seperated, the dusk of Chameleon City meeting the early morning of somewhere else briefly before the gate passed over the small group.

Plus a certain Cadet Jenny who had darted forward as the transport began.

----------------

Morisato Residence:

There was the unmistakable crack-vumm-zaatt noise associated with someone opening a Type III Dimensional portal. Standard for a spell called Worldgate and certain types of D-hoppers.

Jared Saotome, the Phoenix Mage, stepped forward with a swirl of cloak and an aura of depression worthy of Ryoga Hibiki at his darkest. "Hello?!"

Keiichi took one look and decided that this HAD to be one of Urd's friends. "Uhm, hello. Urd's really busy right now and we're having kind of a crisis."

"That's okay. Actually, I'm looking for Grey."

"He's not here, err, you're not here to kill him are you?"

"No. Keiichi, isn't it? Gee, howcome you never wished to be taller..."

"HEY!" Keiichi winced. He didn't like short jokes.

"Sorry. Is..." Jared's eyes widened slightly as he looked past the short man to where Belldandy was looking out the kitchen window. And the sliding door. And from the garden. "Excuse me, Keiichi. Is there any place I can have a quick lie down? I'm not feeling too well. I have a feeling recent events are getting to me."

-----------------

A Fusion Reality:

The city was largely ruined, with craters and shattered buildings as if a war had been fought and lost here. Empty, deserted. For the moment.

CRACKLE-VUMMM-ZOT!

"Sounds like it needs a tune up," remarked Grey. "Okay, Sasami, keep an eye out. Kiyone, you too... OK, who's the kid?"

"I am NOT a kid!" Cadet Jenny frowned. "I'm sixteen!"

"You're a kid. What are you doing here?" Grey sighed and started adjusting his D-hopper again.

"She's a cop!" Jenny pointed at Kiyone. "And if there's some police agency around here that doesn't have a Jenny on it, then it's MINE!"

"Yeeesh," summed up Grey's reaction. "Just what we need - some little police otaku."

Kiyone frowned and took a pair of electronic binoculars out of her pack. "What the hey?"

Grey flipped his RRO laptop open. "Let's see. Looks like one of the... uh oh."

"When you say 'uh oh' I begin to get worried," remarked Kiyone, still looking through her binoculars. "Why are there people flying about in this world like Ryoko?"

"This is the Sailorjin timeline. That means we're stuck here for four hours while the dimensional barriers stabilize." Grey groaned. "Might as well let your pokemon out."

There was a series of flashes as he released his recently acquired pokemon.

"What's a 'Sailorjin'?" Jenny asked, fingering a pokeball on her belt, but deciding not to let Haunter out just now.

"This is what they call a fusion timeline. Where two very different timelines spun off a mainline and fused." Grey sighed and eyed the buildings but allowed as they wouldn't be much help. "In this reality a race of talented if generally unimaginative warriors known as the Sailorjin were largely destroyed by a world conquering villain. One capsule crashed on this world, where the girl was named Son Usagi and raised by a martial arts master named Gohan. This girl was clumsy but possessed of enormous talent and strength and went on to become a great hero protecting Earth from the very menaces that largely destroyed her race.

"Her friendliness and innocence have recruited a number of villains to her side, including a few members of her original race. If you're familiar with the English version, these would be: Lita, Mina, Amy, Rei, Susan, Michelle, and Hillary. Or something like that. If you're familiar with the subtitled: Makoto, Minako, Ami, Rei, Setsuna, Michiru, and Haruka."

"CHAR CHAR!"

"Yuuuu!"

"MACHOP!"

"BUL! BULBASAUR!"

"Quiet, please. i don't speak pokemon. Where was i?"

"Sounds like 'Sailor Moon' mixed with 'Dragonball'," said Sasami, idly scratching Magmarashi's head.

"Exactly." Grey nodded. "And in a 'Sailor Moon' universe they may be reading comics about Tenchi. It's one of those weird things about alternate timelines. I..."

Kiyone looked at what Grey was staring at. One of his pokemon was holding a short cylinder over its head and trying to say something. Then the starfish shaped thing seemed to be making crying noises.

"Amy?" The cyborg's voice was soft. "Is that you?"

"Yuuuu," the starfish agreed, slumping.

"Pika pi!" Ed brought his magic slate and scriber out. "Pika!"

The chatter of pokemon continued, mainly between the charmander and the pikachu. Finally Ed decided he had most of the story and started writing it out on the slate.

"That shouldn't have worked like that," said Grey after reading the message. "Look, you tried to tap into elemental forces in a world where ONLY pokemon can tap into those forces. What should have happened was that you'd have been unable to transform. NOT that you'd transform into pokemon."

"Pika pi!" Ed lifted the clear plastic to erase everything, then scribbled something else out.

"Yeah, actually." Grey sat back. "Okay, the solutions i see are:
"One, i get the bottles of Jusenkyo water out and give you a human cursed form. Problems, there are a lot of ways curses can get scrambled or worsened particularly during dimensional travel. Otherwise i would have offered Ed a splash before now."

"Pikkaaa," Ed sounded tempted nonetheless.

"Two, we can try finding you an alternate energy source that will override the current one. The pokemon are essentially elemental beings or spirits, at least as far as the home office classifies such things, and they tap into specific energies for things like Staryu's Water Gun attack. With the right manna pool, that would allow for a more human shape. Faerie or something similar would be your best bets."

"Char?"

"i'll guess you're asking the downside. If Faerie is used, you would become as one of the Faerie races. Human looking and with something vaguely like your Sen-- Scout powers but leaving you vulnerable to things that could hurt Faerie beings - unable to cross a line of salt, things like that. Any other source would likewise have drawbacks."

"Chop?"

"Then there's blending." Grey looked up to the point that Kiyone was still watching. "One of the dangers of meeting yourself is that when two versions of the same person meet, things can get crazy. Sometimes nothing happens, sometimes the two versions merge into one being, sometimes they cancel out like two soap bubbles meeting in midair."

"Saur?!"

"Pika Pi!" Ed held up a sign asking what kind of Jusenkyo water the cyborg was carrying.

Metal flasks were held up, one after the other. "Man water, Girl water, Bishojo Bride water, whatever that spring that was created when *i* died in it, priest water, twin water. Concentrated form, of course."

"Chu be-chu piika." Ed concentrated and tried to SAY something in English despite the odd mouth parts.

"Use the magic slate, Ed. It's why i bought it." Grey read while the pikachu scribbled. "Yeah, i think that's the best bet too."

"Oh my." Kiyone stopped watching the fight to scan activity on the ground. "Grey, what does THIS mean?"

Grey used his bionic eyes to accomplish the same thing as Kiyone's binoculars. "Another option to return these pokemon to human form."

-------------

Eros carefully lined up his shot. This was too good a chance to miss. There was that one girl, not doing anything in particular. All he had to do was line it up and as soon as she turned...

"HEY THERE!" Ishtar popped in behind Eros.

Eros blinked, disbelievingly as once again his arrow shot someone OTHER than he was aiming at.

He quickly sent a "Love Spell Negation" arrow along the path of the first, then nocked and sent *three* arrows towards his intended target. Surely one would hit the RIGHT target.

Ishtar merely smirked as the "Most Compatible List" Eros was trying to use was actually a fake that she had made to skunk Eros' chances of pulling this off. This was war, after all.

----------------

Son Usagi stood there in her "Kamesennin" red-and-black gym outfit. That she was standing in midair 1,000 ft above the city streets was of absolutely no surprise to anyone. She panted slightly, watching her opponent for any move. "Not bad, Hotaru. Not bad."

Hotaru Saturn sneered at the older girl. "You're not so bad yourself for someone with a power rating of 12,000. But now it's time for the kid gloves to come off."

"But then you'll mess up your manicure."

If Hotaru had NOT been floating in midair at 1,000 feet, she might have damaged herself from the facefault.

"Nice try, Son Usagi. You won't win THAT easily! And don't think you can sneak up on ME, Mercury! Your speed attacks are no match for my Devastation Blast."

Ami started then realized strong arms had grabbed HER from behind now.

"Heh, child. Now I can get you back for that little scuffle we had before." Haruka Uranus gloated over the helpless Scientist caste. "You like striking from behind so much, I... WHO DARES?!"

Uranus roared turning to find out who had managed to penetrate her ki shields with a PROJECTILE WEAPON!

Her eyes fell upon the three figures below, particularly one of those figures who seemed to be the warrior of the group as he was moving flying above the other two in a guard formation.

Her aura burst into flames and the Warrior shot across the intervening distance, not noticing another arrow missing her and slamming into Saturn.

Usagi and Saturn both tried to see what Uranus was looking at. Then they also ignited their auras and shot across the intervening space at high velocities.

----------------

Seeing three comets about to hit, Grey decided it was about time for last words. "Sasami, Kiyone, i'll try to hold them off but you've only got seconds to act. HURRY!"

A torpedo with short blonde hair impacted his forcefield and the two travelled through another building, followed quickly by two more torpedoes. A third, much slower one, approached more cautiously.

-----------------

Tatewaki Kuno snickered and brought another of the spheres over. His ninja servitor Sasuke Sakugakure and soldier Bali Hai were standing nearby to make sure that his twisted sister didn't show up and make another useless Wish.

No, he had the dragonballs now, and now it was HIS turn. As in all the dreams and running through this scenario in his head, NOW he could make his dreams come true. "I summon you, SHEN LONG!"

The golden lightning flashed from the seven spheres to the rapidly forming clouds. The clouds then pierced by an enormous serpentine shape. "By ancient pact, the orbs have been used to summon me. Speak your Wish and let me depart once again."

Tatewaki froze. He HAD repeated this scenario over and over in his mind. The problem was that each time, he'd spoken a different Wish. Should he wish that he was the beloved ruler of the world? Should he wish that the lovely Akari would stop with the pig obsession and concentrate her affections on the Blue Thunder King himself? Should he wish that his deranged sister was his loyal and sane servant? Should he wish that the beauteous Azusa Shiratori get a clue or was that even beyond Shen Long's power?

Finally Tatewaki had it. Maybe because there were four figures visible flying towards him at high speed, apparently having decided to break off their personal squabbles with evidence that their stash of dragonballs had been plundered. He would wish that he was an all-powerful Dark Sorcerer that could transmute them all into monkeys. "I wish..."

"RRRRAAAAAAGHHHHHH!" Shen Long emitted a roar. "Oh, sorry, I ate too fast earlier. What were you saying?"

"I said, O Great Shen Long, that I, Tatewaki Kuno, the King of Kunoia, the Blue Thunder King, the Magnificent Person who stands before you..."

"Ouch. I wish I could fly and do all that other stuff like those Z Warriors. Then I wouldn't have to worry about..." Sasami stopped holding her foot as she realized what she was saying and that everyone was looking at her. "Uh oh."

"GRANTED!" Shen Long roared again. "For one year the orbs will be inactive. The ancient pact withheld. Farewell!"

"Noooooooooooo!" Tatewaki was less than pleased with this development.

Sasami blinked as she glowed briefly. "Wow!"

========================

Bizarre ideas i wanted to throw out that could easily go into a more serious fic:

this chapter:

Sailorjin, a fusion concept between Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon.

A Pikachu named Ed comes from Ed Becerra

Team Kuno. Kodachi and Tatewaki as an ersatz Team Rocket. They seem to fit, don't they?

The idea of Officer Jennies that don't have a police department they can join due to there already being an Officer Jenny present.

A version of Sasami that does not turn into Pretty Sammi. Hmmm. Think the "Super Sailorjin" version might be Tsunami?

prologue:

the workings and importance of the Rival Relief Office for those who want to use the concept of a seriously underpowered and not always competent celestial agency.

the "what if the Cat Fist had come out during THAT scene in Ranma 1/2"

the concept of the three meddling empowered newly appointed deities supplied from someone else but they make great well-intentioned protaganists, don't they? Going from Reality to Reality to make them canon... "You're OOC, in the name of the Canon, I'll punish you!"

segment one:

The idea that Kasumi wasn't so much revolted by Ranma's curse as put off by his immaturity and lack of politeness.

In the typical Ranma SI, they are either working to get Akane & Ranma together, or they're trying to get Akane themselves. Can't recall seeing one where the SI wanted to beat the snot out of Akane and Genma just on general principles.

What would have happened if Ranma had defeated Shampoo, then saved her?

Sierra Club members running around pointing out that you can't kill a panda, they're endangered.

The idea that Genma might view divine intervention to save his son once, and then react by upping the training insanity.

segment two:

Ryoga not getting dunked in the Pig Pond, and living happily ever after.

Shampoo & Ponyta. Somehow this works on a visual level.

A world where even the gods tread lightly. Timeline LR-111124.

The Universal Card, and the tendency for other, more favored, agencies to confiscate items deemed too powerful or useful to trust in the hands of the Rival Relief Office.

The pokeslave world.

Shan and Sakyo, marionette versions of Shampoo and Ukyo.

What happens to males who join the Goddess Relief Office.

The idea of an SI who is (in the words of Morgan Wright) "not the frontline fighter."

An explanation of Toltiir's Binding.

The idea that various characters, understanding what their canon roles were, might find them less than satisfactory.

segment three:

Someone who had gone through sufficient that Soun's demonhead attack is less than effective.

If Genma were Head of Clan (it seems to be HIS opinion, though Nodoka knowing of the Saotome family treasure seems to indicate otherwise), is the Family Honor even salvageable by the time Ranma arrives at the Tendo Dojo?

Timelines where the True Fiancee isn't quite as confrontational. Earlier agreements made by Genma that would therefore have the weight of such things behind them. In the reference, Makoto Kino (Senior year of High School), Megumi Morisato (Junior High), Nuku Nuku (Childhood friend), and Deedlit (previous lifetime).

Akane actually connected with the stone lantern she hefted in the manga.

Ranma actually using the Saotome Final Technique when it could be useful.

What would the girls' reaction be to a phone call from their Mom?

The concept of the Tendos getting screwed up the way they are because Mrs Tendo died of something besides fanfic-convention cancer. In this idea: Soun being absent from the house when his family attacked has made him overly protective and has thrown him on a major guilt trip. The two older girls retreated partially from the world, while Akane's reactions towards perverts and desire to hurt them comes from the knowledge that a pervert killed her mother.

i'm not sure where this "perfect Ranma" concept came from (the closest i can think of was in "Future Tense" and he ended up alienating everyone) but in my SI, i'm honest about it. If someone's getting in my face or being unfair, i can get downright nasty. Particularly in person.

How people try to pigeonhole you, and then fit what they perceive later into that framework. It isn't logical, it merely IS.

The frequent charge of Akane-bashing. So in this segment: Shampoo bashes Akane, Ponyta bashes Akane, Pepe Le Pew chases Akane.

4th segment:

'Ranma' actually tries explaining things to people.

Alternative pokemon effects.

More Akane-bashing. Kasumi defeats Akane, Shampoo nearly drowns Akane, Nabiki subdues Akane. Pepe Le Pew chases Akane some more.

The bathroom scene.

Shampoo adopting Ranma as a brother.

Kasumi and Nabiki getting pokemon.

That in a house with a Squirtle, Genma and Soun, the Squirtle has the most sense.

5th segment:

What would happen if the Tendo daughters MET their dead mother?

Variable Jusenkyo curses.

Another reason Soun is emotionally unstable.

What if Mousse had won his grudge match against Ranma back when Akane was trying to get Ranma to lose?

Hoi hoi capsules (Dragonball) - the preferred tools of celestial agents!

Not only does no one bash Akane, but Akane doesn't bash anyone!

6th segment:

Akane as a superhero and Keeper of Virtue doesn't necessarily mean she's having a happier life.

The Dead Millenium. What *would* happen if the Senshi/Scouts lost...

More on the concepts of what would be a fanfic in Reality, is actually the anime/manga of another Reality. Just imagine turning on your TV for the "Long & Winding Road" miniseries.