Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers NIBUNNOICHI ❯ Part the Eighth- Olde Acquaintance that Should Be Forgot ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Naga the White Serpent fiddled with the strings of her black leather corset a bit, feeling as one with her sisters across the centuries while she struggled for an equitable blend between fashion and comfort. "Are you sure that all this is necessary? I feel so... so... overdressed." She tried to hike her skirt a bit higher, but her attempt was in vain.

The eavesdroppers took a moment to imagine how this excessively endowed woman might look, if she thought that was overdressed, and each shivered.

Kodachi shook her head and sighed. "Dear heart, you know as well as I that we don't want to seem too forward to our beloved. We must present a united front! Besides, I would catch my death of cold trying to emulate your usual fashions."

Naga waggled one finger in rebuke. "There are advantages to my usual ensemble. After the second winter, I rarely felt even the worst chill. What doesn't kill you-"

"Maims you in horribly vicious ways? A touch of frostbite no doubt builds character," Kodachi finished brightly. Then added, "Oh, I'm sorry if that sounded a bit sarcastic; don't know what I was thinking."

Naga started to reply, then gave it up. Looks like I've lost this round. Oh well, happens to the best of us... Rather than dwell on this horribly out-of-character thought, she reached into the steamer trunk they'd purchased several days before and removed an extremely short miniskirt that might cover the bare essentials. "Is this long enough for your dress code?"

Kodachi shook her head in resignation. "I suppose. I can't expect to change you in a week, after all. Go right ahead, display your ample charms to the loutish rabble; see if I care."

Naga laughed briefly, a discomfort to the spies listening avidly to their every word. "OHOHOHO! Dearie, it's obvious you care too much what other people think."

"No, I just care what Ranma-sama thinks." Both women sighed with longing. "And yet..."

"How long must we wait for our love?" Naga shook her head. "I wish the oracle had given us some clearer signs..."

"Right now, of more importance to me is..."

Naga looked at her partner in concern. "More important than RANMA?! You've still got a lot of growing up to do if..."

In response, Kodachi held up their last coin purse and shook it. It gave the dull clunk of almost emptiness, rather than the tempting jingle of sweet fullness. "How are we going to pay the bills? Unless we find a job soon, we'll run out of money!"

The people still eavesdropping took this opportunity to slip away. All thought to themselves as they leapt from rooftop to rooftop, scattering in different directions, At last! Our masters will be pleased...

Slayers NIBUNNOICHI

Part the Eighth

OLDE ACQUAINTANCE THAT SHOULD BE FORGOT

The Sea of Chaos said softly, musingly, "It's strange..."

Jenni, Lover of Cuteness Incarnate, took the straight line She'd been offered and asked, "What's strange?"

The Sea of Chaos gestured towards Her feet and said, "Well, I've seen more mortals in this situation than even I can remember, and yet..." She sighed and said, "I still don't know how to act."

Jenni, an uncharacteristic depth in Her eyes, put one hand on the Sea of Chaos's shoulder and said, "Yeah, I know what You mean. They tell Us that this sort of thing doesn't happen to Us, but it does anyway, no matter how much You might wish otherwise. The only thing to do is to remember and move on."

The Sea of Chaos nodded as She bent down and gathered together all that remained of Jusenkyou's once-immortal essence. "I will shatter the thing that did this to You, My friend, and cast its spirit into a place where it will never know My sight, a cold grey joyless place that gives only despair and regret."

Jenni waved one of Her hands in the air. "Ooo! Ooo! Can I do a curse too? I love those things!"

The Sea of Chaos looked ready to protest for a moment, then waved one hand tiredly. "Go ahead."

Jenni cleared Her throat, then began. "When We find this creature that has destroyed You, I shall make the place We cast its spirit smell like Venice and look like London. The only food will be cooked cafeteria-style and the only sounds will be... umm..." A sudden thought burrowed its way into Her consciousness. "How will We find this creature, anyway?"

"Oh, that's easy." The Sea of Chaos held up one finger. "Only a being with the aid of Jusenkyou's Keys could have done this, and only one being has these Keys now. She cannot hide forever, now that I know her essence." That lone finger retreated into a clenched fist. "And once I find her..."

****

Amelia came to with a start. "Where am I?" Without opening her eyes, she realized that she was totally naked, soft cotton sheets covering her body. The bed she was lying in was so comfortable, thecovers pressing down with just the right weight, and the pillow conforming so perfectly to her head, that she almost turned over and went back to sleep.

A clear, piping voice said, "Ah, you is awake now."

The princess's eyes opened wide at this sudden intrusion on her peaceful, half-aware state. She sat up, clutching the sheets close to her body, and looked around. Amelia saw a young girl sitting by her bedside, darning what looked like Amelia's shirt. Amelia asked softly, "Who are you?"

The girl didn't look up from her work. "I name is Plum. You lying in big cursed dried-up pool when Father found you, and he bring you here. I fix clothes, yes?"

Amelia nodded slowly. "Um... yeah, sure." She leaned back against a wall and looked around the room. It gave the impression of being more an office than a real home, the sort of place a man might live if his job required the occasional bit of overnight work. Half-closing her eyes, she tried to recall the events of the last few days.

Hmm... I remember finding that restaurant, walking in, and then... She shivered involuntarily, clutching the blankets a bit closer. Drowning in an endless ocean of blue...

*Yeah, um... sorry about that.*

Amelia sat straight up again. "What?"

Plum looked up, wincing as she pricked her finger. "Hmm? What you ask?"

"...Never mind." Amelia leaned back against the wall once more, suspicions beginning to cement themselves.

A magician, no matter of what kind, is trained from almost the first day to look for... portents... of things that are almost certain to be bloody annoying. Broad-shouldered men with a grim, set jaw, broadsword clutched firmly in hand; maidens wearing once-rich clothes that have been rent by brambles and thorns; and most telling of all, befuddled-looking wizards with bent hats and robes of indeterminite color: all signs that a Serious Quest was underway, maybe even a True Saga.

Although Voices in Your Head wasn't at the head of that list, it was in the top twenty at least.

She closed her eyes and thought very loudly, ALL RIGHT, WHOEVER YOU ARE, TALK TO ME!!!

The voice said grumpily, *No need to get into a huff. Stop shouting, by Myself! It isn't as if this is My idea of fun either...*

Amelia shook her head. Who are you?

*Umm...* Amelia got the distinct feeling that the voice was waffling. Then, she gasped as something clicked inside her mind.

Some uncharitable people might describe Amelia wil Tesla de Saillune as simple.

They would be right.

But simple is not the same as stupid.

Amelia was not stupid; not by any stretch of the imagination. Being out-and-out stupid would have granted her the life expectancy of a jellyfish in a Dragonslave during her younger years in the intrigue-ridden courts of her homeland (and that's exactly what some calculating oddsmakers had given her) but there were other mitigating factors. One was the twisted craftiness that centuries of backstabbing had bred into her family; albiet a craftiness refracted through the metaphorical Lens of Justice she carried within her.

Now, that twisted craftiness turned inward, adding one and one and one, coming up with seventeen, and rang up no sale. Then it shrugged its metaphysical shoulders and told Amelia the absurd conclusion it had drawn anyway.

Are you a god?

She heard the voice laugh softly. *A very wise man once said that if anyone ever asks that question, answer 'yes.'*

Amelia blinked. What's your name?

*Umm... erm... that's a... good question. I don't... quite know. Ever had that feeling, like something was on the tip of your tongue and almost ready to say itself?*

Yeah...

*Well, this not knowing my name thing feels just like the exact opposite of that. It's as if I have a name, I know I have a name, but... the name just isn't there.*

Amelia said out loud, "That's weird." Plum looked up at her again.

"What that?"

Amelia waved one hand nervously. "Never mind, never mind! Don't mind me, hehe..." She chuckled falsely, and the little girl eyed her for a moment before going back to her sewing.

"Ahh, honorable guest, you is awake? Very, very good." Amelia looked up at the door, alarmed that someone could have walked in without her noticing. A short, dumpy man wearing a strange green outfit was taking off his hat and bowing deeply towards the puzzled princess.

"What of springs, Father?"

The short man frowned towards his daughter, not disapprovingly, but in thought. "Ahh, is very strange. The springs all fill up again just few minute ago." He turned to Amelia. "Me have very bad news for you. Me find you in empty spring in center of cursed springs."

Because Amelia didn't seem to have a clue what the heck the strange little man was saying, Plum supplied the next line. "And what drown in that one?"

The little man held up one finger. "Ahh, is very strange, yes? That one no one ever drown in, because it too far into center of springs. They always drown in other one first." He shook his head. "I wonder what in that one?"

****

Working for Dynast Grauscherra had few perks. One of them was the freedom of having a fat slob of a boss who didn't much care what you did, as long as you did what he said when he said it. Since he didn't usually ask for much of anything, this was a good deal for the Mazoku who worked under him, all of whom knew of Phibrizo's capricious games, Metallium's incessant meddling, or Deep Sea Dolphin's silly courts, and wanted nothing to do with that rot.

The problems came, of course, when he asks you to do something.

"'Follow the girls,'" quoted a rather bored being who enjoyed being called Dighe the Corrupt; when he bothered with a name at all. "'Don't harm them, just find out what they're going to get and make sure they don't get it. Those damn Amazons can't keep up the barrier forever, and the only reason they would send someone out is to get something - or someone - that might help them.'"

He looked down at the two girls, who were wandering the streets of a good-sized city, and grinned. He'd actually come to... like, in a way, the two Amazons. Their minds were easily vulnerable to his skills, and he'd had quite a few good meals off of them over the past few weeks. With their fear of failure and censure from their fellow Amazons, all he had to do was insert a single, simple image into their dreams and let them run with it.

Delicious.

He'd be sorry to kill them.

Yeah, sure, it went against orders, but initiative has always been a big part of Mazoku society. Otherwise, how would anyone rise to the top?

Even now, their terror at being lost drifted up to him, and he grinned even wider. Then, his senses stretched to their limits to take all the dark emotion that he could from this city, he caught a hint of something, something he had not felt since...

He cursed. "DAMN him! How DARE he be here! I will destroy him!" Expending a fraction of his precious energy, he vanished from the skies.

****

Ling Ling looked up at the sky. "Did you just feel..."

Lung Lung looked up too. "What?"

The Amazon paused for a moment, then shook her head. "Nothing."

****

Xelloss didn't need to sleep. Being a Creature of Ineffable Evil (he thought that adding capitol letters to the phrase, even mentally, gave it a certain panache), sleep wasn't only unnecessary, but somewhat... repugnant, implying a weakness that he didn't like to think of.

Be that as it may, he was dozing off in his seat next to Luna's bed when she sat up suddenly, jerkily. He snapped awake and said, "Jumpin' gee whillikers, Luna-chan, that was..." Then he saw her eyes.

They weren't pits of luminescent, brilliant light, nor were they boring into what passed for Xelloss's skull, nor did they burn with the wisdom of centuries. To anyone without the power that Xelloss still had, they would have still been the same pale blue of a sky that gave no warning before a sudden storm.

But to Xelloss, they gave away the dead certainty that a god was in control of her body. And it was a god that he was intimately familiar with, a god he'd faced across many bloody battlefields in the days when the war between the dragons and the Mazoku was still burning fresh.

He said tentatively, "Hello, Dragon God Ceipheed. It's so nice to see you again."

"And you, Xelloss, are looking... fine." His voice was still Luna's - no destruction of a host's vocal cords just to sound flashy for Ceipheed - but to those with ears to hear, there was no doubt who, or what, was really speaking.

"What do you want with Luna, Ceipheed?"

Ceipheed tilted his head slightly, as if in thought. The pause that wieghted the air between them told Xelloss all he needed to know. "To do what is necessary, of course."

Xelloss sneered. "Golly, figures that you would clothe your hypocrisies in cryptic riddles. I never did like you, you know that?"

"And you think that I love you for slaughtering My people, eh?"

The Mazoku had no response for that. Ceipheed nodded. "I will not destroy Luna unless I have to. The next woman who would be my carrier is not yet ready. It would crush her."

"Yes, well..." Xelloss was nonplussed. He didn't know why Ceipheed had chosen to shelter inside humans as he healed from the shattering wounds Shabranigdo had inflicted upon him, but he did know that interrupting it could do no good for the being that Ceipheed would become. "Why are you revealing yourself?"

"Because things have taken a turn. She is distracted, and turns Her eyes from our plight."

Xelloss didn't need to ask whom Ceipheed was speaking of. "You mean..."

"Yes." The Dragon God didn't elaborate. Xelloss nodded slowly.

"And so we'll have to..."

"Yes."

"Gee, what am I supposed to do about it?"

The Dragon God spoke, and Xelloss listened.

****

Soun was happy.

It wasn't often that he could make a claim like that anymore, especially in any way connected with his ancient and very evil master, Happosai. But he had given the middle-aged martial artist a goal, a purpose in life that stretched beyond marrying his daughters off and living with one of them.

Yes, his new silky darlings were worth all the trouble.

He buried his hands up to his wrists in his box of panties and cackled in glee.

"Father?"

At the sudden call from the hall, Soun shoved the box into his closet under the futon and said warily, "Yes?"

Kasumi slid the door open. "Dinner's ready! I called ten minutes ago, silly!" She smiled peacefully.

Soun stood up. "Yes, of course!" Casting about for some topic of conversation, he asked, "How's Ranma?"

Kasumi shrugged. "Poor Ranma-kun. He hasn't woken up yet. But Zelgadis-san and Lina-chan say that he'll be all right in a few hours!"

Nodding in pleasure, Soun walked past his daughter. As soon as he was past, Kasumi's pleasant expression changed to what anyone who didn't know her would have called a mild frown.

But to those who did, they would have known that the person on the recieving end had enraged her, driven her to a point that she'd never been to before. And they would have feared her.

Whenever anyone angered the other two Tendo sisters, a person knew what would happen. No one had ever actually seen Kasumi angry, so that meant that no one could know what she'd do.

Not even Kasumi herself.

That didn't mean that something wouldn't be done.

Oh no.

"Kasumi-san?"

Kasumi looked around her shoulder and saw Gourry, the blonde swordsman to whom she hadn't spoken very much, and had to force a smile on her face for the first time in ten years. "Yes?"

Gourry rubbed the back of his head. "You looked like you were trapped in an excessively long internal monologue, and I just thought I'd help you out!"

Now Kasumi's smile was genuine, and it broadened. "Why, thank you, Gourry-kun!"

The swordsman's nose twitched. "Hey, is that food?" He rushed past Kasumi and ran down the stairs. Kasumi looked one last time into her father's room, shrugged, slid the door shut, and turned to follow Gourry.

****

No Mazoku likes being lost. Being lost implies being weak, and being weak implies being flesh, and fewer things pleases any hellspawn less than the implication of actually being trapped in a bag of mud and blood. Just the thought of it was enough to send most Mazoku into a city-destroying rage, which usually solved the problem of being lost anyway, so things usually worked out for the best!

The only problem with such a system is, of course, when you want to avoid destroying the city that you're lost in...

Loxim, Mazoku, sailor, and fugitive from what passes for Mazoku justice, was trying very hard not to destroy Tokyo in a sudden rampage... though for some reason he got the feeling that there had been others here before him with the same urge and far less restraint...

He shook off the Ghosts of B-movies Past and stopped a young woman who was walking nearby. "Excuse me, do you know where I could find the Restaurant of the Cat?"

Now, most girls would have shrieked in terror and fled at the mere sight of him, which is why Loxim was currently wrapped up in an intricate illusion. He'd just picked an man's image out of his past, and certainly wasn't expecting the girl to just stop dead and stare at his face.

"Da gweh bweh..." He noticed that she was drooling slightly, and he reached up to wipe it off her chin. He frowned. _This means something among humans... but what? I can't remember!_

The moment his hand touched her face, she backpedaled furiously. Her face turned red, and Loxim touched her mind for a moment, just long enough to find out that she was going to shout over her shoulder in another language than the one commonly spoken here, "Ling-Ling! Where are you?"

It actually came out as "OhmiGods look at this guy he's so HOT!" but that's not important right now. What was important is that another young woman, who'd been looking at a display of cloth, glanced up and saw the disguised Mazoku as well.

"What about him?"

"Can't you see that he's HOT!!"

Loxim was even more lost than he'd been a minute ago; at least then all he'd had to worry about was where the hell he was. "As far as I can tell, I'm the same tempurature I've always been..." The Mazoku felt his own forehead for a moment and frowned.

The young woman who'd been looking at the cloth stepped forward. "Don't mind my sister, Lung-Lung. She's an idiot. I'm Ling-Ling. What did you ask her?"

Loxim said tentatively, "Um... where is the... Restaurant of the Cat..?"

Ling-Ling shook her head. "No problem, my sister and I will take you right there!" She grabbed Loxim's hand and started pulling him along. Loxim noticed her sister glaring at Ling-Ling, but for the unlife of him didn't know why...

****

Zelgadis was in the dojo, holding his sword out in what he'd always called the Impressively Cool Stance. Being a self-taught swordsman hadn't given him many official-sounding titles for the various ways to hold a sword, and so he'd given them the names that naturally occurred to him.

The Impressively Cool Stance involved holding his left hand out, extended as if telling someone to halt, while the right hand was drawn back, holding the sword over his head. Most of his weight was on his rear foot, but his whole body was coiled tight, ready to bring the sword out in a sweeping slash from almost any direction, or even bring the sword forward in a thrust, with the left hand moving to assist at just the right moment...

Zelgadis believed in practicality melded with beauty in all things, and nowhere was this more apparent then his swordsmanship; however, he didn't believe in excessive floweriness. He called it the Impressively Cool Stance because that's what it was.

He lowered his sword and looked around at the walls of the dojo with fresh eyes. Somehow, this frail construction of wood, with patched walls and leaky roof, managed to distill peace and channel it to anyone inside, letting them practice without anger or distraction.

A jarring note suddenly sounded in the harmony of the dojo, and Zelgadis immediately whipped his sword up into the Sticking The Pointy End Into Someone Stance. Sadly, it wouldn't do him much good, as the person who'd disrupted the peace was none other than Xelloss.

The chimera lowered the sword slowly. "What are you doing here?" That's when he noticed something subtle, something that he hadn't quite caught in his first glance.

Xelloss had his eyes open.

Both of them.

The Trickster Priest said slowly, "You have to listen to me, Zelgadis. Right now, you're all in grave danger, and I'm just gosh-darned gonna have to take Lina Inverse with me in order to prevent one part of the Ultimate Disaster. What I need you to do is go with two little girls that will show up soon, along with all the people from this place that might help you."

"Hmm?" For the first time in as long as Zelgadis had known the Mazoku, he looked... rushed, almost harried, as though he were trying to do something that he hadn't been expecting. Then, in the third strange event of the conversation, Xelloss said something that the chimera had never, ever expected to hear from his mouth.

"I need your help."

Zelgadis hesitated not a second. "All right, tell me everything you can."

Xelloss smiled and began.

****

"Cuddlepie?" Cologne looked at Happi as she spoke, her face glowing with joy.

"Yes, snoogywookums?" His face was intent on the intricate clockwork traps that protected what they'd decided to take as a souvenir on this leg of their journey.

"Are the zombies supposed to be getting back up, pootielove?"

Happosai frowned without looking up. "I don't think so... after all, we didn't stop attacking them until they were all dust..."

"Oh. Then this must be a fresh batch. I'll take care of them while you get the Egg out, Happidumpling!"

The sounds of battle breaking out behind him didn't disturb the aged martial artist's concentration at all, until a flying bit of zombie hors de'ouvres came flying over his shoulder, breaking the machinery, and setting off every trap in the place...

Since there was no percentage in hesitation, Happosai grabbed the egg and shouted over his shoulder, "Run, my darling! Run!"

****

There were so many levels to Ranma's hatred of falling. The first (and simplest) was the sickening sensation that conjured unpleasant slit-eyed ghosts from his past, yowling in the pits of his mind. The second was that falling usually meant that someone had hit him in the first place with a fist or foot or mallet or giant frozen flounder, and he'd have to deal with the consequences after landing. The third was...

Well, suffice to say there were a lot of reasons that Ranma hated falling.

But he hated landing even more.

So when he found himself falling, somewhere above the mountains of Japan, with no memory of how or why, he naturally groaned and braced himself for impact.

When he landed with absolutely no pain at all, and saw Ryouga waiting there for him with an impatient look, Ranma Saotome was dead certain he was stuck in a dream, and most likely a nightmare to boot.

Ranma hated nightmares even more than landing.

"C'mon, Saotome! If you don't hurry up, she's going to catch up with us!"

"Who's she?"

Ryouga looked around like a hunted animal and whispered, "Your wife."

Ranma stood up straight, the fact that this was a dream already lost, and started running down the road. He thought about asking little things like who his wife was or why he was running away from her, but he figured that the answers to those questions were pretty self-explanatory anyway.

He ran, wild and free, the epitomy of his namesake. He ran, faster than the eye could follow. He ran as though the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. The only thing that could have stopped him was... a tollgate.

Ranma almost didn't stop in time. His heels dug into the earth as he tried to defy Newton's Laws of Motion. Fortunately for him, this was just a dream, and he skidded to a halt mere inches away from the guard, who cringed in anticipation of the impact.

When it didn't come, the guard cracked open an eye, looked carefully at the martial artist who stood, panting, within hugging distance. He straightened up suddenly, leaping backward as he held one hand out. "H-halt!" he said quaveringly, apparently overlooking the fact that Ranma already was halted. "I can't let you go by until you choose!"

Ranma was confused. "Choose what?"

"Choose... your destiny!" Suddenly, a giant game wheel popped out of the ground as cheesy music started playing. Colored streamers came sailing from the sky, covering the ground in meaningless snarls.

Ryouga kicked his way through a drift of them as he came to a halt beside Ranma and gasped, "Ah, the Wheel of Time! Will you be crushed by it, or move on to the top?" Improbably, Ryouga was wearing a pink tutu and a black pig mask as he held out his hands in a Vanna White manner.

"Gweh?"

The old ghoul pogoed around the edge of the wheel and shouted, "Yes! You must decide whether to inherit the future coming to you, or to whimper in fear as..."

She was cut off by a sudden shout of "YOU IDIOT!!" Akane stormed up and seized Ranma's ear. "We start shooting the next episode in five minutes, and you go running off just to..."

"WAKE UP!"

Ranma had no qualms with waking up, even with Xelloss's face waiting for him on the other side of sleep. "Stupid nightmares," he muttered.

"What?"

Ranma shook his head. "Never mind. But... thanks for waking me up."

Xelloss said grimly, "Golly, Ranma, I wouldn't be too certain of that if I were you..."

****

Luna/Ceipheed staggered to their feet, grimacing from the pain. We don't have a choice... we must get the only people who can do this to the place where...

They became aware of a tearing sound coming from the front room, and focused enough energy to detect what was doing it. They gasped in shock. What is HE doing here! Traitor... defiler... Then, they gathered their anger and bundled it away. We are not strong enough to fight him; not now. We must escape!

The wall facing the front room fell in with a crash, revealing a being that Ceipheed had once known as Dilphe; a being that had betrayed his own race for a devil's bargain... with a devil.

"You're looking well," Ceipheed said cautiously.

"And you... are looking like a dead woman who hasn't realized it yet." With that, Dighe the Corrupt wrapped one tentacle around in a circular fashion, creating a blast that lanced out towards Luna/Ceipheed.

They dodged and gave up a fraction of energy to create a lance of white energy, but it spattered against the thick hide of the Mazoku, who laughed scornfully. Luna cursed seperately from Ceipheed. Dammit, why did I leave Filia in the mountains? She could be really useful right now...

Because, Ceipheed said grimly, if she saw Me as I am right now, she wouldn't survive the experience. The Dragon race is not as strong as it once was, when I walked among them - and to be honest, despite her experiences, Filia is hardly the strongest of them.

****

Filia sneezed and rubbed at her snout. This wasn't my idea, Filia thought grimly as she turned around in the small cave again. I wish there was another way to do this...

"But," she continued out loud, "I HAVE to obey her. She answers to a higher authority than me. I just wish..."

She scratched at the belly-strap and whined, "I just wish she hadn't put a saddle on meeeeee..!"

****

Principal Kuno was not, as some might suppose, insane.

Rather, he possessed a specialized form of sanity that honestly thought everything he did was really for the good of everyone he did it for. Haircuts for all? It made you feel like part of a group. Punishing delinquents? Why, if one child were to run amok and not be punished, ALL the children would do the same!

If the road to hell IS paved with good intentions, people like Principle Kunou would be the highway maintenance crew, always ready with a "Keep Left" sign, a sadistic grin, and a new layer of asphalt...

And with his new friend to help him...

He looked down at the ballpoint pen he clutched loosely in one hand. Really, it wasn't nearly as impressive as his old scissors had been, but hadn't the famous Barber Kenneth of the Lightning Trim once written that the Pen was mightier than the Shears?

He glanced up at the sky, remembering the Voice that had spoken to him as he'd lain bleeding after his son had finished. "You an' me, brudda, you an' me... togedda we's gonna teach my son a lesson he ain't neva gonna forget!"

After all, hadn't the Writer told him so?

****

Akane awoke to a sharp poke in her side.

Poke.

It nagged at her senses, not letting her get a moment's peace, making her want to...

Poke. Poke.

She rolled over, seeking an escape from the annoyance, not wanting to wake up...

Poke.

"WILL YOU QUIT THAT!?!?" Akane reached out and grasped the offending object, snapping it off in a fit of rage... then woke up fully when she realized that she'd driven a splinter into her thumb. She looked around her still-dark room and saw Ranma standing about six feet away, clutching one end of a staff.

"Um... Akane..."

"And WHAT are you doing in my room, Ranma?" She set the broken end of the pole to one side and started counting on her fingers. "Five... four... three..."

Ranma dropped the pole he'd used to poke Akane and waved both hands frantically. "No! Wait! I've got a good reason!"

Akane stopped counting, but didn't lower her last two fingers either. "I'm waiting to hear it."

"I..." Ranma lowered his head. "I've gotta go away for a while."

Akane arched one eyebrow dubiously. "And this means what to me? It isn't as if I care what happens to you." At least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Ranma didn't rise to the bait, strangely enough. "I... I dunno if I'm comin' back, all right?! I just... well..." He coughed nervously and stared down at his hands. "Wanted to tell you that... I didn't really think you were THAT uncute. Um..."

Was that supposed to be a compliment? "I guess that, well, when you wanna be..." Akane felt her cheeks grow hot. "Um, where are you going?"

Rather than answering right away, Ranma looked out of Akane's open window and sighed, his face taking on a noble mien. "Y'know... Pops useta say all kinds of stuff about a 'martial artist's duty' and a 'martial artist's honor.' I thought it was all just a buncha crap until about half an hour ago. I gotta do this 'cause I gotta do this."

Akane grabbed his shoulders. "JUST SAY WHAT THE HELL YOU HAVE TO DO INSTEAD OF BLABBING ON AND ON ABOUT IT, IDIOT!!!"

"Ow ow ow ow!" Akane released his shoulders, and Ranma thought for a moment. Then, he suddenly grinned and said cockily, "I'm gonna go save the world, of course."

"Riiiight."

Ranma dropped his grin and said seriously, "You didn't see Kuno two nights ago, Akane. He was... Evil. Wrong. I could 'feel' somethin' wrong about him..."

Akane sighed. "This isn't just because he beat you, is it?" Honestly, he's such a poor loser!

"Naw. I mean, if he'd beaten me, that'd just mean that I could train some more and get stronger, then twist him into the Samurai Pretzel he deserves to be. But he... he... he didn't even fight me, Akane! It was like... like... like that first time I fought you, remember?" Before Akane could get too angry, Ranma hurried on. "An' after swattin' me like a bug, he put the smackdown on two people that shoulda been able to cream him without raisin' a sweat!"

Akane began to see just what he was saying, but it just made her even angrier, if only for a reason she didn't want to admit... "If he's that far above you, then why are you going to challenge him again? This time, he might kill you!"

"Yeah? So? It's that duty thing I was talkin' about before. We got responsibilities ta go along with all the abilities being a martial artist. An' if I just get all scared of Kuno, what kinda martial artist does that make me?" He shook his head slowly. "Not the kind that I'd want ta take over my dojo, that's for sure."

Before Akane could say anything, Ranma jumped to the window. He gave one glance back; a glance that Akane could easily imagine was out of a bad novel where the man was trying to memorize every detail of his beloved before he went to war...

And then he leapt out the window, and was gone.

"Bwee?"

Akane looked down at the floor and saw P-chan sitting there with the same look she thought was on her face. She picked him up and cuddled him close to her chest. "I wonder... do you think he meant it, P-chan?"

****

Naga looked down at the burning town, her face uncharacteristically solemn. "Kodachi my dear..."

Kodachi stood beside her. "Yes, Naga my hetero life partner?"

"We will never, NEVER tell anyone the events of the last few days. It would be just too, too..."

Kodachi nodded as Naga trailed off. "Yes, I understand." She kicked at a small burning sign. "Besides, who would believe us? I mean, if what we found out down there is the real Question of Life..."

"The Universe..." Naga added.

Kodachi glared once before finishing, "...and Everything? Even if it was the real thing, what could the answer possibly be?"

"Forty-two?" They both shared a brief chuckle, and Naga picked up the small sign and brushed off the bits of dirt and soot that clung to it. "SQUAREville, population 9,000... truly, this town held a terrifying secret that is best left destroyed..."

She put the small sign in her cloak as a memento, knowing that without something to prove to herself that she had been here, she'd never believe it herself...

****

Loxim was starting to have doubts about the wisdom of trusting these two girls to lead him where he needed to go.

Actually, 'starting' was the wrong word. 'Continuing' might have covered it, but still wouldn't have done justice to the sheer feelings of doubt and anxiety that assailed him every time they started moving faster, shouting "It's this way! It's this way!" only to be confronted with another dead-end street.

And Loxim had the disturbing feeling that there was some subtext in the glares the two girls tossed back and forth, a feeling heightened by the rise of dark, tasty emotions inside both of them...

As has been mentioned before, the Mazoku as a race only feed on the less noble emotions of the human race. The Mazoku as in one individual named Loxim had problems dining on those emotions, so he avoided the process unless absolutely necessary, and then he only took enough to keep the hunger down, as it were.

The emotions of these two girls, however, were almost too much to resist. It was as if another Mazoku had already nurtured these two carefully, priming them for maximum reaction and flavor...

Distracted by so many things, it wasn't too surprising that he failed to notice the magical war going on until he was practically on top of it.

"I'm sure it's right around this corner! I'm sure of it!"

Loxim raised one hand. "No! Wait!"

In defiance of all the laws of drama, Ling-Ling actually stopped before turning the corner. "What?"

Then the building fell on top of her.

And the rage, pain, and fear that both of them suddenly released in a copious flood were too much for the Mazoku to bear...

****

Gods are well known for possessing two things in infinite (or so near as to make no never mind) quantities.

This is not, in fact, true.

But the third isn't one they like to talk about...

The first is omnipotence, infinite strength and power. As anyone who's been on the wrong side of a plague of boils or a thunderbolt can tell you, gods have a LOT of power to toss around, and they aren't shy about doing it.

The second is omniscience, infinite knowledge, but just because they HAVE it doesn't mean they can make use of it. sure, the god may see the sparrow suffer a spontaneous cardiac arrest, but He's usually too busy to make more than a note of it and move on with something a bit more important, like forcing statues to leak perfectly useful blood.

The third (and far from the least) is omnipuerilisence, the infinite ability to act childish. A god can make a two-year old who's just been told "NO!" seem a paragon of self-restraint. A god (the real thing) is a combination Big Beard in the Sky/Whiny Voice Around Your Knees...

Right now, the God of Order was throwing one heck of a tantrum.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THAT!!!"

Why not?" Writer casually looked up from His pad of paper where He was doodling images of Order with spikes driven through His head. "A betrayal at this point is only to be expected; after all, it fits in the..."

Order leveled one finger. "Don't You dare bring up your 'Metastory', Writer, I'm in no mood for it. We are GODS!" Had there been a roof above Them, it would have shook with the force of His shout. "We are not part of a Story, We are ABOVE the Story!"

'Whatever You need to believe,' Writer most carefully did not say. It would be too early for the temporary pantheon that He had spent many, many years in the crafting to risk breaking it up over a petty dispute...

After all, He had an obligation to His Stories, just as the stories had an obligation to Him.

****

Luna gritted her teeth in rage, frustration, and pain as she barely deflected another bolt of scarlet energy from Dighe the Corrupt.

Most of the time, she could have picked up a low-level Mazoku like this one and broke it across her knee, even without calling directly upon the might of sleeping Ceipheed. Being the official Knight of Ceipheed grants one a few... perks... here and there, and those powers only added to her own natural abilities as a sorceress.

But right now, she was nursing wounds that no one around had possessed magic powerful enough to heal immediately. While Doctor Tofuu did have some unique skills that had set her to rights temporarily, he'd proscribed several days of bedrest; bedrest that had been interrupted.

Luna sincerely hoped that he hadn't been hurt when the Mazoku had attacked...

And ever-conscious of her duty, she'd set Ceipheed back into His healing sleep. He'd resisted, of course, but even if she died, He would simply move to the next vessel... as long as He weren't awake when she died.

At least, that's what she thought.

Dighe sneered at her, tentacles waving in a dizzying pattern. "Come now, is this it? No attacks? Nothing but shields, deflections, and spot-healing? This grows boring."

Then, a lance of pure black energy that assaulted Luna's senses even from a distance of five feet pierced Dighe's body. He looked down at himself for a moment in shock, then screamed in agony as half his tentacles tore away. His form shivered and wavered as he lost control of it, and he fell to the pavement in the form of a man with wings... well, wing, at least. His left arm and wing were torn away and the stumps were leaking a black mist.

Luna looked around and spotted another Mazoku, this one wrapped in a glamour. He was supporting one girl who was covered in rubble, and another was standing close behind him. Knowing that she didn't have a Dragon's chance on Wolfpack Island of being able to fight this one off, she bowed politely. "Thanks."

Suddenly, a roar sounded from where Dighe had fallen, and Luna turned around to see him standing there, still leaking black mist. From behind her, she heard the other Mazoku say, "I have no quarrel with you. Now stand aside, please."

Dighe spared a glance for his shoulder. "Tis but a scratch."

"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

"No it isn't."

"Then what the hell is it that you're leaking?"

Dighe looked again at his shoulder. "I've had worse."

"You're lying!"

Dighe motioned with his remaining hand. "Come on, ya pansy!"

The other Mazoku flashed into Luna's line of sight and another line of energy, this one much less intense, flashed into being. Dighe managed to deflect it, and the fight was on...

Until Dighe screamed again as his other arm flashed into black mist.

The other Mazoku smiled. "Victory is mine!" Then, he turned to Luna and asked, "My name is Loxim. Do you know where I could find the Restaurant of..."

"Come on!"

"What?"

A lash of energy hit the side of Loxim's head, making him stagger a bit. He turned around, a ball of blackish energy dancing above his left palm. "You are indeed brave, my fellow Mazoku, but the fight is mine."

Dighe grinned. "Had enough then?"

Loxim scowled. "You stupid bastard, you haven't got any arms left!"

"Course I have!"

"Look!" Loxim pointed.

"At what? Just a flesh wound."

Another weak lash of energy dove at Loxim, who snarled out, "I'll rip off your leg if you don't stop." Another lash appeared, but this one he caught in his free hand and snarled, "RIGHT! THAT'S IT!"

He threw the ball of energy, and it did indeed take Dighe's leg. He remained standing on the other with difficulty.

"Right, I'll do you for that!!"

Loxim blinked, then said slowly "You'll... what? What are you going to do, bleed on me?"

"I'm INVINCIBLE!!"

"You're a loony..."

Dighe lunged... er... hopped for Loxim. "DIGHE THE CORRUPT ALWAYS TRIUMPHS!"

With a contemptuous, backhanded gesture, Loxim took the last leg off, and Dighe fell to the ground perfectly upright.

"Right, we'll call it a draw."

Loxim turned back to Luna, who'd been watching this with an incredulous expression on her face, and asked, "Do you know where the Restaurant of the Cat is?"

"Three blocks th't way, turn left, keep goin' til you see it on th'right."

"Thanks." Loxim turned to the two girls that he'd come with and gestured. "Let's get going."

For a moment, neither of them moved, but then Luna watched amusedly as the left one's mouth started moving soundlessly for a second. "That... was... COOL!"

The Mazoku looked uncomfortable at this sudden praise, which was no surprise to Luna. "Umm... right. Let's go."

As they walked away, Dighe shouted, "Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here, I'll... bite... your..."

Luna looked down at Dighe, grinned, and cracked her knuckles. "Time t'learn some manners... D'you feel lucky, punk?"

****

Amelia sat three feet from where an invisible wall prevented her from leaving the springs, rubbing her nose ruefully. "Owie... why does this always happen to me?"

*Got me, kid.*

Amelia smacked the side of her head. "I wasn't talking to you!!" Just because she couldn't get rid of the voices (well, voice) in her head didn't mean she had to take insults from them.

"Excuse me, fair maiden..."

Amelia looked up...

And should have fallen in love.

He was tall. He was handsome. His muscular frame was contained in a blue practice outfit of some kind, and he held loosely in one hand a wooden sword. He had a shine in his eyes that made Amelia glad she was already sitting down, because it made her knees feel weak.

But...

What was this sudden feeling of fear that came over her?

"Dost thou know any way that a noble samurai such as myself could cross this barrier?"

*Don't tell him ANYTHING!!*

Not about to mention that she agreed with the voice in her head, she looked at the warrior and said in her brightest, most absent-minded voice, "Not a clue! I wanted to get out, but..."

In a flash, the warrior suddenly slammed his wooden sword into the invisible wall. Magical energies flew up from the point of contact, both white and blue warring with each other as the warrior leaned into his blow.

Amelia jumped back. "What the..."

"I WILL take the Keys from you!!" The warrior's once-handsome face was twisted in a snarl of insane hatred. "My Master desires them, and He will have them!!"

Amelia backed away slowly, then suddenly ran away, not knowing what else she could do.

****

Lina tapped her foot impatiently, shifted the weight of her cloak again, and glared at Xelloss. "She isn't here yet."

"I know."

Ranma shifted the weight of his backpack, glared at Xelloss, and leaned against a nearby tree. "You said she'd meet us half an hour ago."

"I know."

Zelgadis didn't move at all. "So where is she?"

"I... DON'T... know!" All three of the people there took a step back as Xelloss got angry for the first time that they could remember. "And I'm worried, dammit!"

They could all see something else in his eyes too, something that Lina and Zelgadis didn't like remembering the last time they'd seen it glimmering in those seldom-open orbs.

Fear.

Fortunately, someone chose that moment to appear out of the darkness.

"Hey, Xelchan, howya doin'?" Luna glanced around the small group and smiled. "See ya managed to get 'em all t'gether."She reached out and touched Zelgadis on the shoulder. "Gotta talk t'you." She guided him slightly away from the other three, and the two started talking in low tones.

After a moment, the two separated, and Zelgadis walked over to Lina. "I'm... going to take care of things here, Lina. Don't you worry about anything."

"WAIT FOR MEEEE!!!!"

A second later, Gourry appeared in a cloud of dust. He faced Lina and said loudly, "I'm coming with you!"

Everyone's reactions were predictable.

Ranma couldn't care less.

Luna couldn't care less.

Xelloss just smiled.

Zelgadis couldn't care less.

Lina freaked out.

"No WAY!"

A sudden ray of light from the near-full moon struck Gourry's face, and he looked years older; a solemn warrior with lines of hardship and experience etching his face as he spoke softly and seriously. "Lina, I swore to protect you always. You can't tell me to stop doing it now."

Lina said softly, "Gourry..."

Gourry continued, just as seriously, "Besides, I can't risk letting you loose on the countryside without someone to glrg!"

Lina removed her fist from Gourry's stomach. "Fine, you can come."

Ranma shrugged. "Whatever. So, how are we leaving?"

Suddenly, a wind swept the road they were on, blowing dust up. A giant shape that glimmered golden in the moonlight settled onto the open field, and a voice that was familiar to everyone but Ranma spoke. "So, these are the people I'm carrying, Lady Luna?"

Lina spoke first. "Filia!"

"Lina!"

Lina peered more closely at the shadow. "What's with the saddle on your back?"

Filia shifted self-consciously, trying to hide it. "Umm..."

Then Luna spoke up, earning a glance of thanks from the dragon. "We gotta get goin'." She turned back to Zelgadis. "Y'know what t'do." The chimera nodded, and Luna motioned towards the dragon. "Everyone on!"

It went without incident until...

"Xelloss!"

The Mazoku shrank back a bit and smiled nervously. "Ah, hello, Filia-chan."

"DON'T 'FILIA-CHAN' ME!!!" She turned to Luna. "Do I have to carry this... this..."

"Yeah." Luna turned to Xelloss. "Xelchan, where d'you know Filchan from?"

"Oh, here and there, here and there...."

Filia peered down at Luna. "Lady Luna, where do YOU know Xelloss from?"

Luna visibly winced at the title, then said a moment later, "Now tha'sa secret."

Xelloss whined, "Aw, c'mon, will you stop stealing my lines..?"

Lina grinned as she called down from her perch, "If you three are done down there, Lady Luna, maybe we should get moving!"

Luna glared up at her sister. "Y're never gonna let me live that down, are ya?"

Lina's grin widened. "Funny you should mention it..."

****

The Jusenkyo Guide never wondered how he knew the names and locations of all the pools he tended.

Sometimes, this struck him as a bit odd; it wasn't as if there were a map to have learned all the locations from, and he certainly hadn't even known were MOST of the pools were before becoming the official Guide, but...

Now that he was the Guide, he only had to look at a spring to tell what had drowned within.

Also, there was this pouch of signs that always produced the right sign for a spring whenever he reached into it.

Had the Guide before him, old... old...

What had his name been?

What was his own name, come to think of it?

That was about the point that he started to get the feeling of... disconnection, as if it would be a bad idea to think further...

And so, he was sitting, watching the pools in the setting sun, and trying very hard not to wonder about anything, just as Amelia came running down the path that led to the outside world.

"Ahh!!! Mister Gui-"

Then, the girl tripped over a rock in the path and went flying.

The Guide watched her trajectory with some interest; he made a personal bet with himself as to which spring she would fall in....

And lost as she splashed into the Spring of Drowned Water Buffalo.

He stood up and moved to the side of the spring. "Ah, too bad! You fall in..."

At that point, Amelia's head broke the surface of the water, and she glared up at the Guide as she pushed her wet hair out of her face. "Could you please give me a hand?!"

The Guide's mouth worked for a moment, then he finally managed to say, "Oh my..."

****

Lina loved flying.

Really, it was such a rush! The wind in her hair, the smell of the sea in her nose, the glint of the moon off the waves, the crushing pain in her arms as Ranma clenched his fists a bit tighter...

"Will you RELAX?!?"

Ranma's grip did indeed relax for a moment. "Sorry 'bout that... I hate flying; it reminds me of falling... couldn't we just've SWAM through the ocean?"

Luna shouted from her position at the front of the five-person saddle, "Naw! We've got no time!"

Lina grinned again. "Sure thing, Lady Luna! Now, where are we going?"

"T'visit Grandma!"

Lina slumped down in her saddle. "Aw, man..."

Gourry turned around and looked down at her. "I didn't know you had a grandma, Lina."

Lina waved her hand irritably. "Everybody has a grandmother, melon-brain!" Xelloss cleared his throat, and Lina added, "Well, almost everybody. It's just that... well..."

"Well?

Lina muttered, "Shpnchsm'..."

Gourry leaned closer. "What?"

"Shpnchsmchks..."

"I can't hear you..."

"SHE PINCHES MY CHEEKS!!!" Gourry reeled back at the sudden shout, and Luna barely managed to grab him before he fell off. Unnoticing, Lina went on, "I hate it I hate it I hate it!!! I'm not a little kid..."

Ranma patted her head. "Of course you're not..." he said with a silly grin.

He almost lost that arm as Lina grabbed it and started pulling. "OWOWOW!!"

Xelloss said, "Come on, this is no time to be rough-housing!"

Luna shouted, "Yeah, stop it or I'll turn this dragon aroun' right NOW! I mean it!"

Gourry asked, "Are we there yet?"

"No," Luna said, trying hard not to sound angry.

"Oh." After pondering this for a moment, Gourry asked again, "Are we there yet?"

"No!"

With a sadistic grin (does he have another kind?) Xelloss started singing, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends! Some people started singin' it, not knowin' what it was, and soon they couldn't stop, simply because..."

"Are we there yet?"

"ARGH!!"

****

Zelgadis sighed as he stopped in front of the Restaurant of the Cat.

It was all well fine and good of Xelloss to have said to meet two little girls that would show up soon, gather the best warriors of this small town (and there were more than a few, he had to admit) and bring them to someplace called Jusenkyo, but...

The only person that he knew in town was Ryouga.

Amelia had disappeared who-knows where, and the rest of their small group had left just an hour ago a-dragonback.

No one around, no one that he had to depend upon, no one to depend upon him...

It felt good.

REAL good.

Yeah.

For a fleeting moment, he seriously considered just walking away.

After all, this land was filled with magical treasures; he could spend the next few years seeking out a cure and quite possibly find it.

But then, on the other hand, there was his promise to Xelloss. And if the Mazoku had been serious about what might happen...

His resolve firmed, he nodded and pushed open the door-

Into madness.

Loxim, the Mazoku from the Millennium Balton, was standing nearby. Well, Loxim had a glamour over him, but that was nothing to his chimera senses. The lady who ran the restaurant was buried under the attention of two young girls, and Xellos's words flashed through his memory. "What I need you to do is go with two little girls that will show up soon..."

Zelgadis put his hands together and sighed. "Well, I guess I have no choice now..."

He strode forward to do his duty and fulfill the promise he had made to Xelloss and Luna.

Strangely enough, that felt good too.

****

The mighty Lord Dynast Grauscherra was seriously contemplating the mass destruction of all his incompetent minions simply for the dubious pleasure of starting over from the beginning, and doing it RIGHT this time!

First, there had been the total failure of ANY Mazoku to pierce the barrier around the puny Human village from whence had come the warriors who had humiliated him (HIM! Dynast of the North!) and then managed to flee.

Fine. He could accept that there were magicks out there that only time and long, long effort could pierce; when they had to be, Mazoku were the most patient beings in the universe.

Second, there came the total disarray of his forces from someplace called the 'Scent' castle. Or... something like that, at least...

Fine. He could even accept that some powers were beyond his minions. Of course, HE could have taken the field at any time and crushed his foes like the insects they were, but THAT'S what minions were for. He had better things to do...

Now, in a seemingly minor side note to the whole thing, but one that Dynast had the nagging feeling was far more important than it seemed, the power he had granted Dighe had returned to him. Which meant, of course, that he was dead.

Couldn't ANYBODY do ANYTHING right around here?!

It was at that point that he received a Holy Mission from God.

Well, the Lord of Nightmares at least, which made Dynast shake in rage and fall to his knees in worship at the same time.

Most beings venerate their Creator, sending praise and worship in abundance as a gesture of thanks or fear.

Out of those two, the Mazoku only felt fear.

You see, they have against their creator a few... grudges (to put it mildly), for what they considered very good reasons. First and foremost was the fact that they even EXISTED at all. Your average Mazoku hated everything, himself first and foremost, and the self-hatred only increased the more power that he obtained.

Of course, they didn't look at it that way, but if it barks and sheds fur all over the furniture and humps your buddy's leg...

dynast grauscherra

"Yes, Lord?"

I have a duty for you

"What is it, Lord?"

you must pierce the barrier around the springs of jusenkyo

Dynast considered that for a moment. "But Lord, what ARE the springs of..."

DO NOT QUESTION ME!!!!!!!

Lord Dynast Grauscherra, one of the most powerful beings on the world, was driven against the floor by the force of his Creator's anger. "I... will... obey..."

good

After a moment, the pressure started to lift, but just when Dynast was raising himself off the floor, he was pushed down again.

do not fail me

Then, he was released, and he lay on the ground for a moment before standing. He glared at the sky for a moment, then called to his general.

He had orders to give.

****

Jenni, Kawaii Incarnate, looked over at Her sister/daughter. "Are You sure that was the right thing to do? It wasn't... very nice. Couldn't You have simply broken the barrier Yourself? It is Your dimension, after all..."

The Sea of Chaos sighed deeply. "It... isn't possible. That area belonged to Jusenkyo, and if I broke the barrier Myself, it would leave Me exposed to the being that stole Jusenkyo's power. I must conserve Myself for the battle against Him...

Then, She rubbed Her hands together. "This way, I will weaken Him and keep Myself strong. When the time for confrontation comes, I will crush the being that dared to steal My roommate's power and kill Him. Then, vengeance will be Mine."

****

"Achoo!"

*Are you all right?*

Amelia rubbed her nose. "I think so... but being dunked in that spring must've given me a cold..."

*A-CHOO!!*

"Now, are YOU all right?"

*I suppose so... maybe I'm linked more strongly to you than I thought...*

****

Naga sat at the bar, lost in thought, nursing a tall beer. Finally, she said, "Well..."

Kodachi set down her mug of apple juice and said at the same time, "You know..."

They both looked at each other for a moment, then both said in chorus, "You first."

Naga chuckled and waved one hand. "Fine, then. I think that we are on the mainland somehow."

Kodachi nodded. "Yes, I would say that the... town... somehow brought us to the mainland. But how?"

Naga shook her head. "Why, it's no mystery; magic does things that not even one as experienced and powerful as I can..."

Suddenly, the front door to the inn banged open, and a woman's voice said angrily, "Okay, we'll stop f'TWENTY minutes, but that's IT!!"

Kodachi didn't even bother to turn towards the door, but a few seconds later, she heard Naga gasp. "It's... Ranma-sama!"

"WHAT?!" Kodachi turned to look for herself, suddenly joyful at the prospect of seeing her love, but as she looked at the doorway all that joy turned to hate. Her hands hooked into talons as she spat, "What is SHE doing here?!?!"

For standing in the doorway, shaking water from her hair, was that despicable wench, that foul stealer of Ranma's name, the pig-tailed girl! "You're DELUDED if you think that's Ranma, dear heart! That foul... woman has dared to sully the name of fair, fair Ranma, and she must pay for it!!"

Kodachi stood up, fully intent upon making the girl pay right then and there, but she felt a hand upon her arm. Looking down at Naga, who was still seated, she said, "Let me go!"

"No. I have never seen Ranma-sama before, but I knew that I would know him the moment I saw him. That is the love of my life, and I will greet him with the token of my love." Naga reached into her cloak and removed a white rose.

Kodachi hissed, "Have you gone mad?! That's a woman, just in case you haven't noticed!"

Naga said airily, "A minor setback. RANMA-SAMA! OHOHOHOHO!"

Not one to be left behind, Kodachi leapt into the air with a shout of, "PIGTAILED GIRL, PREPARE TO DIE!!!!"

To say that Ranma had not been expecting something like this right now would have been an understatement. To say that she'd sooner have expected Genma to bust down the door and say, "Ranma, I'm not your real father. You see, there once was a mighty samurai named Anakin Skywalker. I was a friend to him..." would...

Well, it would have been an understatement too, because there was ABSOLUTELY NO WAY to cover the sheer shock of two leather-clad women bounding towards him, one wanting to kill him, one wanting to... well, you know... aside from one simple exclamation:

"Meep..?"

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Well, this is the next Part with some heavy-duty changes; to wit, I combined Part the Eighth and Part the Ninth into one handy-dandy package. Really and honestly, they belong together anyway.

I would have liked to write the little side-adventure that Naga and Kodachi had, but for some reason... it just didn't flow. I wrote the beginning, but I couldn't think of a middle OR an end... I took a look at the disjointed fragments of said side-story that still exist, unchanged, from what I jotted down years ago, and they did nothin' for me. Le sigh.

No doubt canon fans will be wondering, "Who the hell is this Dighe character? I don't remember him..." Well, the reason you don't remember him is because I created him as a throwaway character. Hah. Boy, I sure was quick to throw him away, no?

Well, this ends the revision of Parts that were already in existance. The story will probably wrap up before too many more Parts, and it's strange, but even though I haven't touched this story in oh so long, I feel... regretful... that I let it fall by the wayside when it was so close to the end of the journey. Now, though, I honestly believe I will finish it, and once I do... Well, I'll be able to smile and legitimately claim that it is DONE. Fin.

Aaron Bergman

imfanboy@hotmail.com

"Time on your hands? Then go and wash it off.

Make sure to use soap and water!"