Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Grand Theft Auto: Nerima ❯ Sympathy For The Devil ( Chapter 8 )

Sympathy For The Devil

 

 

 

 

Hikori sat at a fold out table with a notebook with a few guys around him making suggestions. In his mouth hung a cigarette releasing thick white smoke and outside it formed a large smile that spread across his face. He had a plan and it was good. Hikori asked Zero various questions, which were, then put through Nabiki's ears. Whenever he wrote something down, she'd reach over his shoulder with thick black jiffy marker circling flaws and correcting errors as she showed Hikori the holes in his plans. They worked side by side both exchanging their sly wit of extortion and in a way challenging each other. Nabiki wrote a couple notes which were immediately crossed out by Hikori when he pointed out an over looked topic. In the end they had their finished product and it was beautiful. Ranma read the paper as Sheela tried her best not to puke on him. “A bit elaborate, isn't it?”

 

Hikori pointed his smoke at Ranma and gave him some wisdom. “Look here. We need 100K in a very short amount of time. Elaborate is a good way to go if we don't want to be caught.”

 

Ranma tapped his foot and looked at Zero with a questionable look. “Think you can do it?”

 

Zero raised his arms high as if to speak to the heavens. “My intellect knows no bounds with such a delicate area of expertise.”

 

Ranma looked at Nabiki. “How about you? It's kinda risky.”

 

Nabiki crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Oh, well in that case I guess I'll just get my ass back on that stage.”

 

Ranma shook his head. “I didn't mean it like that… I just remember saying that we should keep this inconspicuous…”

 

Hikori threw the notebook towards Ranma to catch. “Wanna take a look at the other ideas? Just be warned that they were scrapped for a reason.”

 

Ranma turned to Ryouga and asked. “Do you mind smashing a few windows?”

 

Ryouga shrugged. “Whatever. I don't think it'll work though…” Ranma sat at the table and Sheela did her best to cling to Ryouga. “What? Hey!”

 

Ranma waved at him. “Just let her. She needs the support.”

 

“She's pissed drunk!”

 

“All the more reason to make sure she doesn't swallow her tongue isn't it?”

 

Ryouga grumbled as Sheela made herself comfy on Ryouga and proceed to vomit all over his leg. “Oh, god-damn it!”

 

Ranma put an open hand up towards Ryouga. “Just get over it. Now listen up every one, here's the plan of action we're taking to get to jail ASAP.”

 

Boris leaned over Ranma's shoulder and read the paper. “Wha-.” (WACK) “OW!”

 

Ranma gave Boris's forehead a quick smack and veered him away. “Don't stand over me Boris. Here's the full scoop. Basically we are going to steal a lot of money from a lot of people while making it look like it's not coming here. Now there's no way in shit we can hope to find some one with this much money and steal it in this much time. So what these two have come up with,” Ranma waved at Nabiki and Hikori. “is that we steal as much business from the competition as we can and we are going to do it in the dirtiest manner we can possibly do it.”

 

Zero raised his concern. “How are we going to plant the card scanners?”

 

Ranma responded after a moment of though. “I'll plant the scanners myself. I know I'm not the most delicate guy, but I know how to stick two things together.”

 

Ryouga failed to pay full attention to the previous conversations and asked. “Card scanners?”

 

Ranma cleared it up. “Yeah, we find the big money makers in this city and we plant a relay signal in their debit and transfer machines to send it to an account we are both opening and closing tomorrow.”

 

Ryouga scratched his head as he tried his best to figure it out but gave up and asked something simple. “Ok… So what do you want me to do?”

 

Hikori answered this one for Ryouga right after he finished the drag of his smoke. “You sir, are redirecting business here. Smash windows, put up posters, I don't care how it gets done, but it's going to get done.”

 

“Bu-.”

 

Hikori silenced him by talking over him. “You'll know what to do because you'll have Sheela with you. She's a pro at reckless carnage, so don't worry.”

 

“Ok…”

 

Paul spoke up for the first time in a while by asking. “So, what the fuck am I doing?”

 

Ranma took his turn to answer. “You and Boris are not doing a fucking thing except running a strip club. Timmy doesn't need to know what you're getting into, so it's best if you stay the hell out and help serve drinks.”

 

Paul pointed at Hikori in a bit of half-protest. “So what the fuck's this guy doing then? He's got nothing. And what about er'?” He pointed to Nabiki after Hikori.

 

“Their job is to make sure the money gets to were it needs to go and also look like it's not an act of crime in the meantime. Other then that; don't worry your pretty little head off Paul.”

 

“And your sister?”

 

For a moment Ranma forgot he had a `sister', but he pretty much told Paul to blow it out his ass. “What she's doing is none of your business. You just focus on what you have to do, ok?”

 

Paul slumped back into his seat with a hurt look. “Hey, I'm just sayin' she's gotten popular fast. Think she'll mind dancing tomorrow?”

 

Ranma blinked once and wanted to gouge out Paul's eyes right then and there. “No. I'm pretty sure she'll mind.”

 

Paul put up his hands. “Just a suggestion mate.”

 

“And a fucking horrible one at that. Now is every one clear as to what to do?” Every one nodded. “Ok. Now listen up Ryouga. You're job is going to be one of the hardest ones we've got lined up. I'll come in to help you at some point but you're gonna have to get through the beginning with just you and Sheela. You can't just run away from cops, hell you can't even let any one know you're sabotaging their business. You're gonna have to make it look like a shit load of accidents if you can. Sheela can help, but it's still gonna be tricky. Try not to let her do all the thinking, ok?”

 

Ryouga nodded. “Right. But how many places do I have to smash up?”

 

Boris knew this answer. “If you take away the casino's and other places bigger then this, then you have seven over all.”

 

“Ouch… Are you sure we can pull that off?”

 

Ranma smiled. “Of coarse you can. Lets get some sleep every one. Zero, you get to stay up and build those scanners.”

 

“If my services are to be brought to such an extent I demand a supply of constant fluids sweet.”

 

Boris looked at him with an odd look and then at Ranma. “What does he want?”

 

“Free drinks. Maybe a table dance too, I'm not sure, but if I were working on some tedious little boxes I'd want a martini and some titties in my face too.”

 

“Oh, well I can do that I suppose…”

 

Nabiki gave him a light wack on the shoulder as she started heading towards the door. “I don't think he wants to see you with your shirt off. Ranma, take me home.”

 

“Don't bark orders to me Nabiki. Try asking nicely.”

 

“Please give me a fucking ride home you ass hole.”

 

“That's better.”

 

 

As Ranma walked out of the bar with Nabiki he saw a biker almost passed out that was also about the same size as him. The booze in the bikers system made him limp, so that when Ranma pulled the collar of his leather jacket, it slid off his arms without protest and Ranma put it on. Nabiki didn't say much, but when Ranma walked passed the BMW and onto a Harley, she had to ask. “You ride a Harley?”

 

“Sure. Get on.” Ranma kick started the bike and Nabiki got behind him. She held onto him tight as he exited the parking lot and went in a random direction. “So where do ya live?”

 

“Over on Fourteenth Avenue. So tell me Saotome. Since when have you started stealing things from guys with guns?”

 

“A little bit after I left.”

 

“I have to hear this. From what I can tell, you've grown up a little Ranma.”

 

“Nah. I just stopped seeing things with a narrow vision.”

 

“Elaborate Ranma. I want details.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I'm bored and I want you to tell me what you've been up to for the last two years.”

 

“Planning on turning me in to the police for a quick reward?”

 

“Maybe, but if this job goes successful, then I may want to stay around you a little longer.”

 

“That's fair.” Ranma took a corner sharp letting his foot push a metal foothold to skid across the ground. “We'll talk when we get to your place.”

 

 

Ranma liked to judge a place by comparing it to his place. In his place he had the essentials. A place to eat, a place to sleep, and a place to sit, hence he had four walls, a roof a few blankets and a bunch of milk crates. He didn't need a whole lot because he was constantly moving around, so going by this rational most hobo's had it better then him. He walked into Nabiki's apartment and saw many things a person didn't need. Fancy art, nice carpet, flashy curtains, and decorations that distinguished the place well. “I knew you had money.”

 

“Yeah, you caught me there, Ranma. Start telling me things and maybe I'll offer you a drink.”

 

“I'm not thirsty.” Ranma sat down on the nice puffy leather sofa and knew right away that it beat a milk crate any day of the week. “So what do ya wanna know?”

 

“What were you doing over in Kyoto?”

 

“Working.”

 

Nabiki laid on the couch across from him and smiled. “What kind of work?”

 

“Dirty work.”

 

“Come on Saotome. Tell me.”

 

“Blackmail, extortion, vandalism, theft, and murder.”

 

Nabiki's eyes went wider for a moment, but she just shrugged it off. “I see. Was it really that bad to be run out of town?”

 

“Not really. I was just down on my luck. I started thinking weird you know?”

 

“No, I don't know. I'm kind of taken back by murder though. I just can't picture you taking out someone like it was nothing. Just the way you've been walking and talking… Since we're alone I'll be honest. You've changed a lot and it scares me. What happened in Kyoto?”

 

“In Kyoto… I found out I couldn't make it on my own. I worked an honest part time job for a little while, but hell how can you live off that. What it really came down to was meeting those two you just met.”

 

“That Hikori has been in the game for a long time hasn't he.”

 

Ranma nodded. “Yup. I met him when he was knocking over gas station with Sheela. In truth Hikori just forgot his wallet, so he decided to rob the place instead of paying for his gas, but I was in the bathroom when they started robbing the place. For the first couple months after being run out of this place, I got stuck in my head a lot and I was always unaware of every thing around me.” Ranma laughed a little. “I tried buying a pop and a stick of beef jerky while Hikori had his gun pointed out at the poor guy behind the till. I walked right in front of him and blocked the gun with my head. Hikori and Sheela got so confused with what I did that they didn't know what the hell to do. I kept waiting for the guy to take my money, but after I got annoyed with waiting I kind of came back to reality and asked him what was wrong.” Ranma kept telling the story with a big smile on his face, as it seemed to be a good memory for him. He had his hand motions going and he looked off into his head bringing back the memory. “Hikori tapped my head with the gun and was like, `Umm. Excuse me, but I was in line first.' And I was like, `Oh. Sorry.' And I went back into autopilot and actually got behind him and waited for him to finish robbing the place. Sheela eventually walked out and got the car ready for them leave, but Hikori still couldn't figure out what the fuck I was doing. He started pointing the gun at me, but there I was on autopilot just pushing the gun out of my face giving him a blank stare and telling him that's its rude to point. He had to fire a damn shot into the ceiling to wake me up and he tried telling me to get lost, but believe me. I wanted my beef jerky. I still hadn't figured out that he had a gun at this point and thought he was just being an asshole, so I took a swing at him and put him on the floor with a busted nose. I felt bad after that so I tried helping him up and apologizing, but then we both started fighting. We started knocking over shelves and shit and got to the point the he had a gun to my chest, and I went into a `holy shit!' panic. I put my hands up immediately, but when I did I accidentally poked him in the eye with my beef jerky, and after that he fell back and accidentally shot me in the stomach.”

 

Nabiki looked at him in disbelief. “He shot you?”

 

Ranma still had the big smile on his face. “Yeah, that fucker shot me. Luckily it missed everything vital, but god damn did it hurt. I chucked my pop at him and we started fighting again. We were nose to nose when the clerk came over put a garbage can over our heads and started beating it with fucking broom. We both eventually got out and we fell into the back seat of his car still with the can on our heads and Sheela laughing in fucking hysteria. If that wasn't bad enough, when she started driving off she realized that she forgot to take the gas pump out of the car, so there we were trying to get this can off our heads with a broken hose stuck to the side of the car squirting gas all over the place. God I was in so much pain and to top it all off, after we can the garbage can off of us our damn hair was stuck together with some nasty sludge that was at the bottom of the thing. After we got to a place in the hills, Sheela patched me up she found out that we couldn't get our heads detached from each other unless we shaved our heads. A week later I quit my piss poor job and started working with those two.”

 

Nabiki put up her hand to stop Ranma. “Wait. He shot you and a week later you're working together?”

 

“Yeah. He didn't want to at first, but Sheela talked him into it.”

 

“But why? Why did you start working with them?”

 

Ranma smiled again and put his hand against his head. “Because it was fun.”

 

“That's it? Fun?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Explain this to me Ranma.”

 

“For the first two months after I left, I was so depressed. Every time I look back at it I keep seeing how creepy I was becoming before I met them. I was always moping around keeping to myself and for about two weeks I decided that I wasn't good enough to be a man, so stayed in my girl form for a while and kept thinking to myself how much of a failure I was and how I had no honor, but then all the cold showers started to get on my nerves so I scrapped that idea. After I met them I found out how few rules they lived by and it just how much fun crap they did to get by. Hikori started showing me the ropes of the life of crime. I didn't have to worry about honor. I didn't have to worry about annoying fiancé's. And I didn't have to worry about what every one thought of me. It was good times all around.”

 

Nabiki shook her head. “Murder is good times all around?”

 

Ranma stopped her with a stern look. “Those were very personal issues. I was either in a kill or be killed situation, or else they did something that just didn't sit well with me. The people I killed, no one will miss and secretly the people that knew them will be glad that they're gone.”

 

Nabiki tried her best to understand it but nothing came. “You're going to have to forgive me for being shocked by this.”

 

“I don't expect you to understand what happened out there in Kyoto, but understand this. I'm not a psycho. I still have my compassion and I still comprehend what is right and what is wrong.”

 

“Interesting.”

 

A few moments of silence passed and then Ranma's pager went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and gave it a look. “Shit! Mom… I gotta go Nabiki. I was nice catching up.”

 

As Ranma started leaving Nabiki got up and grabbed his arm. “Ranma. There's something you need to know.”

 

“Make it quick.”

 

“It's important… There's two ways out of this city. The first one is to become a loyal part of their organization. The second is you Ranma.”

 

Ranma gave her a funny look. “Me?”

 

“Yeah… You pissed some one off pretty badly. I don't know what you did; so that's why I asked, but remember. Selling you out and stabbing you in the back is an open option for everyone you know. I'm asking you for Akane's sake. Don't trust every one you may have known, they might want hand you over to them so they can get out.”

 

“Even you?”

 

“Even me. They came to me with an offer and I can only assume they went to others with the same thing.” Nabiki shook her head. “Just be careful Ranma.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

 

Ranma jet down the streets and back alleys of Nerima finding the quickest route to his mother with a some-what annoyed look on his face. “This better not be Pops…” Ranma power slid the Harley into a handy cap stall and jumped off the hog. He didn't feel like buzzing up so he kicked the glass door out. Ranma checked a clock on the wall in the main hallway to the elevator. “It hasn't even been twenty four hours! This so better not be Pops!” He stepped out onto the third floor and made his way to the right door to find it had suffered the same fate as the entrance on the ground floor. Ranma kept himself silent as he put his back to the wall and peeked around the corner. Just past a corner he saw a large back and heard deep voices. `You're not dead yet Pops.' Ranma pulled out his handy 9mm and gave it a look and frowned. He started looking around and saw a garbage can with an empty one-liter coke bottle sitting at the top. He smiled as he picked it out and stepped into the apartment.

 

A deep voiced man with a pair of brass knuckles on stood over Nodoka with a smile. “I'm not one to hit a woman, but my patience grows thin lady. Where is he?”

 

Nodoka was almost in tears with her head bowed over a broken table. “My husband isn't here. He was kicked out yesterday.”

 

“By who? You? Why do you defend that lowlife so much? He's gotten the both of you in deep shit over at my place. I suggest you just tell me and we'll be gone. I'm getting' tired of coming here every two days to break your shit till he gets the balls to come out and pay me.”

 

“My son kicked him out!”

 

“Oh? And what's your son's name.”

 

A cold gun pressed against the back of the big man's head and he heard the gun getting ready to fire. “My name is Ranma Saotome and I'm not happy right now.”

 

The man smiled as he put his hands up slowly. “I suppose I should have guessed with the last name in hand. I do hope you're not planning on firing that thing in here. Too loud wouldn't you think?”

 

“You're right…” The large man turned when he felt the gun move away to get a good look. When he finished turning he saw an empty bottle pressed against his forehead and saw a kid smiling at him. “Ever heard of a pop bottle silencer?”

 

The large man tucked his bottom lip into his mouth and almost laughed. “You're the real deal kid. With a reputation like yours, I shouldn't have gotten cocky.”

 

“You know you can stop stalling any time, right? I knocked out your buddy already.”

 

The big guy looked down the hallway to see his friend beat to hell with his black muscle shirt tied around his head. “Well, shit.”

 

Ranma nodded. “Shit is right. Now I don't want to put a bullet in your head, so could you please tell me why you keep breaking my mothers stuff and maybe we can resolve this like gentlemen and hopefully for you, without a grave.”

 

The man gestured towards the sofa. “Mind if I sit?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ok. Have it your way. I'm not gonna beat around the bush kid. You're father owes me quite a sum of money and let me tell you this. It is very unfrequent that I see to a debt personally. You catch my drift?”

 

“How much is it?”

 

“Currently your father owes me roughly around 237K. I ain't runnin' no casino here so it's not like I can make that money back and not worry about my business.”

 

Ranma blinked at him and put down the gun. “How the fuck… Did my dad… of all people… Get 237K?”

 

The large man laughed for a moment and put his hands down. “Well, one of my now departed accountants exchanged my company savings into the wrong account, and I regret to say it, but he blew a large chunk of it within a week. To date I've only gotten back 2.1 Million in small increments. It seems he's trying to keep some.”

 

Ranma looked down at his mom. “What the hell did he spend it on!?”

 

“I-I'm not entirely sure…”

 

Ranma looked back at the big guy and said. “Within a week?”

 

“Correct.”

 

“What kinda business you got?”

 

“A flower shop.”

 

“Which is a cover for?”

 

“Human trade.”

 

“Hell of a cover you got there…”

 

The big guy smiled. “I know.”

 

Ranma thought for a few moments and offered the big guy a seat. “Ya know… We might be able to work something out.”

 

The guy sat down on the sofa at last and asked with a small smile. “I'd like to hear this.”

 

Ranma went shifty eyed for a moment and looked at his mom. “Mom. I gonna handle this for ya. It's not gonna be the most honest way of doing things but it'll be a quick solution.”

 

She put a hand out. “N-no please! You don't have too. It's so much money and it's your father's responsibility…”

 

“Dad and responsibility are two things that don't go together. I'll make it my responsibility. Do you know where dad keeps his wallet?”

 

Nodoka got up and left for a moment. Upon coming back she had her husbands wallet in her hand. “I don't know his pin number…”

 

“Oh, that's ok. I've got a friend who can use this. Me and… what's your name again?”

 

“Bugsy.”

 

“Bugsy and I are gonna go have a talk. After that he's not gonna come around here any more, ok?”

 

Nodoka looked away shyly. “Yeah…”

 

Ranma gave his mom a cool look and smiled. “Hey, don't feel bad mom. I really don't mind helping you, and you gave my pager a call for a reason right?”

 

“Well, I suppose… But I didn't expect you to solve my problem like this…”

 

“I know you don't like him very much mom, but I need more friends then enemies right now. If I can solve this with out any one getting hurt, minus the general public, then I feel I did something good and every one can walk away like nothing happened. Now I see that your door is busted and I'm sure Bugsy here is gonna be more then willing to pay for the damage he was forced to cause because of dad. If he isn't willing then he won't be waking up in the morning.” Ranma glared at Bugsy and pointed his gun at him from under his arm. “Right Bugsy?”

 

“Put that thing away. I'll pay for it, but I'm expecting something from you too sonny.”

 

“You'll get your two-bits, don't worry.” Ranma looked back at his mom. “For now I want you to come with me until the repairs are made. I don't want you here with the door wide open all day and night.”

 

Nodoka nodded. “Ok… Where are we going?”

 

“I know Nabiki is up right now, do you mind spending the night at her place?”

 

“Not at all. Are you sure it'll be ok with her though?”

 

“I could care less what she thinks, besides she owes me right now.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I got her a new job.”

 

“Oh…”

 

Ranma turned to Bugsy. “Where's you're flower shop? I'll stop in tomorrow morning and give you the low-down on what's happening.”

 

Bugsy pulled out a business card and gave him a million dollar smile as he handed it to him. “I think it would be a great idea to work with the Kyoto Hurricane. A pleasure even.”

 

Ranma gave him a questioning look as he took the card. “Where the hell did that name come from? I keep hearing it as well as references to me being a storm of some kind.”

 

Bugsy laughed and gave Ranma's shoulder a hard pat. “Don't be so humble kid. I've heard the stories and I must say, I like what I hear.”

 

“Whatever…”

 

 

Morning came and Ranma woke up late in the old Tendo dojo. Ryouga and Hikori were already up and talking while Sheela tore the tow truck apart and into complete demise. Tattoo man Jerico was there beside the truck handing her tools as Ranma came into what remained of the living room now turned patio scratching himself inappropriately. Ryouga looked at him and asked. “How come you rolled in so late?”

 

“Oh, you were worried about me? That's so sweet…”

 

“Kiss my ass, it's just a question.”

 

Ranma planted himself in a foldout chair and started eating some day old cheetos. “Met a guy named Bugsy last night. From the sounds of it he's been trying to find me for a while now. I swear this guy thought I was a dumb as a sack of hammers.”

 

Ryouga shrugged. “It's nice to know some one thinks like I do.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways he's been harassing my parents to get to meet me. He put a shit load of money into my dads account and has been fucking up their lives for the last month.”

 

Hikori puffed his smoke and asked. “Did you play dumb?”

 

“Hell yeah. I'm going to go see what he wants today, maybe break it to him that I'm not an idiot.”

 

Sheela walked by him and gave him a kiss. “Good morning sweetie.” She placed a hand on his face as she laid quick lips on him and he looked annoyed as she walked off with a grin.

 

Ranma felt the side of his face to feel the all too familiar handprint of 10W30 oil. “Ya know, you'd think I wouldn't fall for that after all this time…”

 

Hikori tossed him an old shirt as Zero came out into the bright sunlight. “Wow the fog sure is dismal today.”

 

Ranma wiped his face off and asked. “So how're those scanners?”

 

“Mission accomplished. Our journey to fortune resides on how today's events unfold.”

 

“Beautiful. Give me an hour and I'll get that shit set up all over town. You guys ready?”

 

Sheela pointed down at Ranma's crotch. “Are ya planning on taking over the city in those sexy boxers of yours?”

 

“Yes, Yes I am.”

 

Ranma polished off the stale cheetos and got up. “Let's go guys.”

 

 

Ryouga and Sheela sat in a BMW across from the Kitten Club. “Sooo… Whaddya we do?”

 

Sheela got close beside him and gave him a grin. “Want a blowjob?”

 

“What!? No! I'm taken!”

 

“You're so uptight. I say we do something that'll look like an accident.”

 

Ryouga looked at her with caution. “Why do you switch subjects so fast!?”

 

“Do you love her?”

 

“See!?”

 

“Is it a guy? I'm cool with that.”

 

“Ahh! She's not a guy! Her name's Ukyo!”

 

“So how do ya want to do this?”

 

Ryouga started getting confused. “I just asked you that!”

 

“No I don't mean this.”

 

“Wha…” Ryouga screamed and whacked his head on the dashboard a few times.

 

Sheela smiled to herself as she pulled the car into an ill-lit alley. “Sweet, I broke him.”

 

Ryouga got out of his stupor and looked around. “Why are we in this ill-lit alley!?”

 

“So no on sees us… Duh!”

 

Ryouga wedged himself against the door and pointed at her. “Get away from me!!!”

 

She reached over and flicked his head. “Hey, I'm just messing with you. I'm parking here because I don't want to look suspicious. We're going to break into the club and blow up their power box. Ok?”

 

“…Ok… Y-you're not gonna-.”

 

“No you gullible moron! How the hell did you ever bag a chick you beautiful bastard!?” Ryouga started crying. “Great… I broke him again… This is fun!”

 

 

Ranma was with Jerico as they stood at a back door trying to break in without busting the door in. “So Jerry doesn't want anything?”

 

Jerico scratched his head. “Well no, not really. I just wanted to see how the pro's do this kind of stuff.”

 

“I'm not exactly pro, man.”

 

“Well it's kind of cool working with the Kyoto Hurricane, besides I wanted to thank you for the whole truck thing.”

 

Ranma got fed up and kicked the door in. Upon entering he noticed the hinges and said, “Oh, it swings outwards. That explains a few things. What's with the whole Hurricane thing man? Why do people keep calling me that?”

 

“Dude! You single handedly leveled a building.”

 

“I did not level a building single handedly!”

 

“What about the electric fish incident?”

 

Ranma shrugged. “Ok, that may have happened but I don't see how-.”

 

“You jumped a semi full of fuel.”

 

“It did not have fuel in it! I was in the process of getting the gas.”

 

“You whooped an entire disco full of people with a dildo chainsaw.”

 

“It was a nudy bar and it wasn't full. It was a Wednesday night.” Ranma started working on a fast-cash machine and had the scanner in the slot in no time. “For the love of god, Jerico you're older then me. Why the hell are you so damn gitty?”

 

“Because Mr. Saotome, in a very short amount of time you accomplished more then Jerry has in almost eight years. I've been with him since he started and the shit you did came to our ears in no time.”

 

Ranma started working on a debit machine. “I thought I was a `dirty word' around here.”

 

“Well, yes… But what you've done has gotten all eyes looking at you. For fuck sake's man, Jasper wants you dead. Jasper wants you specifically, dead. He's put aside all us petty, small time annoyances and is focusing all of his attentions on you, yet no one know what the fuck you did except for him and you.”

 

“I don't know what the fuck I did to him. I can't recall ever trying to put a weed up any ones ass.”

 

“You must have an idea man.”

 

“No clue.” Ranma finished up and started heading out with Jerico. “I was in Kyoto the entire time and I guess he was here as well.”

 

Jerico shook his head. “You're taking this too lightly. That man is the devil, ya here me?”

 

“Every one has a soft spot my friend, even the devil. And apparently I've rubbed it a bit too rough.”

 

“You may have a point… What's next on the list?”

 

“I'm seriously thinking about skipping this one…”

 

“Why?”

 

“It's a gay bar called the Back Door. I've had a few bad experiences with guys hitting on me before.”

 

Jerico tossed that through his head. “Man, if I was in a gay bar and didn't get hit on at all… I'd be furious.”

 

Ranma stopped for a second and thought about that. “Whoa… If you think about it like that… I would too. Still… I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I just keep thinking that if I go their I'll run into some one I never wanted to think was a donut puncher.”

 

“How do you think we felt around Jerry and his, `change'?”

 

Ranma remained still and said. “Jerry's actually a guy?”

 

Jerico raised an eyebrow. “You didn't know?”

 

“I though Jerry was a snail rubber…”

 

“Well, he did get a sex change…”

 

Ranma started walking towards his Harley. “Awe man… I thought Jerry was hot…”

 

Jerico gave him a pat on the back. “Believe me… you're not the first one… Honestly though. How could you not know?”

 

“The tits and the figure threw me off, ok!”

 

“Not too quick are ya?”

 

“Wanna walk!?”

 

“No-.”

 

“Didn't think so!”

 

 

(Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil)