Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Grand Theft Auto: Nerima ❯ Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress ( Chapter 19 )

Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress

 

 

 

It was a hell of a party and Ranma got hammered the night before. As he opened his eyes he thanked the blinds in the room for their merciful shielding from the light. His brain felt too big for his skull and all he could do was turn over and moan, but the only problem was that he couldn't. His arm was firmly lodged under the body of a smooth sexy lady. “Oh god.” He muttered to himself as he looked at her hair and knew the hairdo. It was short all around, brown, and had bangs just over her eyes. Ranma had gotten smashed with Nabiki and from the feel of things he was very much naked beside her. “Man…” It was going to be awkward when she woke up, but knowing her she'd probably pass it off as nothing and make sure he didn't tell anyone.

 

He thought about it hard for a minute or two, but gave up and decided to enjoy the moment. He scooted up against her back, wrapped an arm around her waist and started dozing back to sleep. She was soft and warm and as his head cleared he started to remember a wild and crazy night. He remembered a night of unbelievable sex that wouldn't escape him anytime soon. He remembered the bed rocking and banging against the wall while she screamed with pleasure, and all he could think now was, “Your welcome ma'am.” with a smug little smile.

 

 

Everyone got the call and came back to their moistened casino. The tenants eventually came back to reclaim their rooms as well as their cash and the Nerima team partied it up. Bugsy was given ownership over the Jade Garden Casino and Nabiki was going to help with the numbers. Ranma ran his fingers along Nabiki's stomach and held her close. “Yeah… I got myself a sugar mama…” She moaned in her sleep and held onto his hand.

 

Every one had a drink of some kind, but it became a contest between Ranma, Hikori, and his dad to see who could drink the most. Things after that became a bit fuzzy, and as to who won the contest, he couldn't remember. Bits and pieces came to his mind of breaking in the new slot machines, with endless quarters; a devil's playground was now open for business and with it came women, money, power, and free drinks with little umbrellas in them. He fell off his chair more then once and his dad passed out on the roulette wheel. Hikori was able to hold his own quite well, so he probably won, but after every one left, or went up to a room Ranma remember seeing some guy he hadn't seen in a while and what ever they talked about was lost to him. Eventually Bugsy went up to his new office and ordered a window repair, but it was after Nabiki left that- “Wait a goddamn minute…”

 

Ranma searched his thoughts but there was a gap somewhere and then things started dawning on him. He opened his eyes to look at the neck he was kissing. “This is what her hair used to look like…” In two years Nabiki had a different style of hair, it was a little bit longer now, with a few minor changes, but it was something more that was bothering him. “And since when does she smell like Cuban cigars…?” He thought for a moment and let out a shriek.

 

He shot right up and sat in the bed as she opened her eyes and shot up beside him with a loaded gun. “What!? What!? The fucks going on!?” She felt him jerk in his spot and she spun right around with the covers still over her legs. “Huh?” Ranma stared at Jerry with an empty expression, which started to twist into horror. Jerry looked all around and then back at him with a confused look. Her eyes searched the room with quick looks and when she saw the floor she also saw four used condoms. She looked back at Ranma again and as he sat frozen she lifted the covers a little where Ranma sat. After a good look she lifted the covers over her legs and saw herself naked with a little extra most didn't know about. She scratched her head and started to think. After a few moments she pointed at Ranma and said, “It's a little bit foggy, but… I'm sure you were the `man' at least three times.” Ranma blinked once and the covers shot off as he ran for the bathroom screaming. When she saw his ass she thought again and said, “No, only twice… I think… Yeah… We took turns…”

 

The shower turned on and Ranma could be heard crying. “For god sake, stop talking! I don't need this right now!” Ranma's cries came out through the splash of the water and he sounded like a broken man.

 

Jerry just sat there thinking until something hit her. “Oh, my god…” A sinister smile crept slowly across her face and she reached down beside the bed for her coat. After pulling out a cell phone she hit a few numbers a voice came on and she sounded hysterical. “Bugsy! Guess what!? I road the hurricane last night and it! Felt! Good!”

 

Ranma came bursting out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist. “PUT THAT FUCKING PHONE AWAY!”

 

Jerry's eyes were wide, but her attention was on the phone. “Yeah that's him! I told you so!”

 

“AHH!” Ranma snatched the phone out of her hand, ended the call and threw the phone off the balcony. He shut the door behind him and stared at her with a huge amount of edginess. “You are never to speak of this to any one!”

 

Jerry looked a little hurt and asked, “Was I really that bad last night?”

 

Ranma scratched his head for a second and mumbled, “Well, no I mean- AHH! S-Stop talking! Just… Let me think about this for a second.”

 

“Should I order us up some breakfast?”

 

Ranma answered her with a disgusted look of pain and before he ran back into the bathroom he shouted, “I screwed a transvestite!” with such a blatantly sharp tone of disgust. The door to the bathroom slammed and behind it was Ranma with a scrub pad trying to get rid of the dirty feeling.

 

Jerry got pissed and yelled at him through the door. “Hey! Don't make it sound like you did everything! I did half the work to you know!” A bloodcurdling scream followed with a violated cry of self-pity came from behind the door and in the shower was where he'd stay for the next two hours. He came out briefly for his clothes and there was Jerry still on the bed, with a robe on and watching the TV “Can I use the bathroom yet?” Ranma went back in without so much as a word and it was another half hour before he came out again and the only reason was because there was a knock on the door to the room.

 

Ranma was quick to answer it to make sure Jerry didn't do anything, but it was just a serving man. “Your fruit loops sir.”

 

Without even knowing why, Ranma took the trays and paid the man. When he closed the door he looked at Jerry and asked, “When did you order this?”

 

“Around the time you started singing London Bridge in the shower. I think you're taking this whole situation completely the wrong way.”

 

“Yeah, probably. How did you know I liked fruit loops?”

 

“Who doesn't?”

“True.” Ranma handed Jerry her bowl and he started watching TV from the other side of the room.

 

“Why don't you come onto the bed?” Jerry patted the spot next to her with a warm smile and Ranma just cringed. “Come on. We need to talk about `us'.

 

“How about not? There is no `us' Jerry. I got drunk and you took advantage of me. I'm very bitter about this.”

 

“First things first, you came onto me.” Ranma shivered for a second but let it pass. “Look Ranma, it's time you started expressing yourself as you truly are. You're like me, you enjoy dressing up like I do.”

 

Ranma's eye started twitching. “No I don't. I was happily engaged to a beautiful woman, twice I'd like to add, and any thoughts of a gay relationship has always been and always will be taboo to me.”

 

Jerry got a sly smile on her face and walked over to Ranma. “So how come you went so far out of your way to look like a woman all those times? You have a body suite, you must for a figure like that, otherwise how do you do it?”

 

Ranma grabbed a vase sitting on a table and dumped the contents on his head, turning him to a her. Jerry looked at Ranma with a bit of shock and before he knew what was happening she was pulling open Ranma's pants. “H-hey!” Jerry got a good look and the pants snapped close. “I've got kind of a condition…”

 

Jerry grabbed Ranma right by the collar and went totally off topic for a second by yelling at her. “I spent 35 grand on reconstructive surgeries and am still saving for the big one! You mean there was an easier way!?”

 

“Uhh, Jerry…?”

 

Then she stepped back for a second and pointed with a completely new expression. “Oh! I get it now! I was wondering were you went for a little while last night. I thought you were just some chick that came in looking for action. Man, how hammered were we?” The fruit loops dropped to the floor and much like Ranma's dignity and self worth, the bowl shattered and with a tear in her eye she walked back into the bathroom where the shower turned on again. Jerry looked at the door and scratched her head. “What?”

 

As the water beat down on him he had his head against the wall mumbling, “I always thought it would have been Akane, or Sheela that talked me into it… But never… Oh, god…” After he repeated it a few times he started chewing on a bar of soap for some reason. This lasted for about an hour.

 

It ended when Jerry walked into the bathroom and started to undress. “You've been hogging it long enough.”

 

“ARGH!” Ranma ran out and into the hallway in his now wet clothes and making for the ground floor. Ever nine seconds as he road the elevator he'd pull a full body spasm and look around nervously. For some reason he really wanted to see either Ukyo or Akane, and since Ukyo was closer he made his way to the kitten club.

 

 

When he got there Hikori was talking to Mousse about something in the back room of the club and Hikori couldn't help but notice Ranma's expression. “What happened to you?”

 

Ranma looked at him with kind of an empty expression and asked without any real tone, “If you woke up one morning with a condom hanging out your ass, would you tell any one?”

 

Hikori's smoke dropped and his mouth hung open. “No… What-”

 

“Me neither…” And with that Ranma turned and started heading for Ukyo's room.

 

Mousse looked puzzled for a moment and his eyes went wide. “What happened to him?”

 

Hikori stamped out his smoke and recovered. “N-nothing. Forget it man, it's probably for the best if we don't mention anything to anyone.”

 

Mousse nodded catching his drift. “O-ok.”

 

About twenty minutes passed and Ranma came out looking as normal as ever. He walked over to Hikori and asked, “Ok, so what's on the agenda today?”

 

Hikori looked him up and down for a second and gave him a look of concern. “Are you ok man? Anything you want to talk about?”

 

“No, I'm cool.”

 

Ukyo walked out of the room with a large soaked mark on her shirt. “Are you going to tell me why you grabbed me and started crying uncontrollably?”

 

“Nope. I just needed a support buddy for a minute.”

 

Ukyo looked a little confused with that one. “Ok… Glad I could help… I guess.”

 

“Okay…” Hikori didn't know how else to change the conversation except with an outright change in coarse. “So what did Mr. 982 say last night?”

 

Ranma thought about it through his hangover and eventually came up with, “Well, not as much as I'd hoped for. He was just one of Timmy's big time buyers, but all he bought was for himself only. The guy was in a permanent state of being completely strung out, and all he could tell me was something about a guy that delivered and nothing more.”

 

Ukyo was left in the dark as usual and needed light. “Well what was he all about then? Who was the delivery guy? Is he important?”

 

Ranma just lied and said, “Not really. All I got out of him was that he was Timmy's special guest and that was about it. I was hoping he'd be a little more important, but he was just a junkie with a lot of money.” Ranma tapped his foot for a few seconds in thought and looked at Hikori. “How about you? I woke up a little late this morning, anything new.”

 

“I do have something that'll knock your socks off. Word on the streets say that Jasper's heard about his casino, or lack there of, and he's a little irritated.”

 

Ranma looked a little taken back, but he kept his cool. “Is he coming here?”

 

“He's arriving some time today, with a couple of people. Sorry, but it's not on a private jet or anything and without knowing what the guy even looks like we can't really attempt to take him out.”

 

“Damn…” Ranma crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Do we know who called him?”

 

Hikori shook his head and shrugged. “No, but more then twenty guys I've asked today say he's coming and he knows what's happened…” Hikori paused for a second and tapped his fingers on the wall across from Ranma. “He knows you're here and what happened to Timmy. Everybody does.”

 

Ukyo was feeling left out so she made her presence felt. “Who's Timmy again?”

 

Ranma's strange calm creped her out a little, but she didn't mention it. “Jasper's brother. I killed him a couple weeks ago, and threw his head through a window. I wasn't exactly in a stable state of mind at the time though.”

 

“Oh…”

 

Hikori got off the subject again and placed it somewhere else. “Anyways, that's one of the things Mousse and I were talking about. Jasper's pissed and he's bringing some real bad dudes with him.”

 

“How bad are they?”

 

“No clue whatsoever. This is just hearsay from the streets and few guys running for their lives. Mousse seems to think a certain surgeon is with Jasper.”

 

Ranma shook his head with disappointment. “Wishful thinking. I don't think a doctor like that would be kicking around beside Jasper twenty-four seven, but I have been proved wrong before.”

 

“What makes you think he wouldn't?”

 

Ranma shrugged, “What makes you think he would? I just can't see why Jasper would go to the trouble of bringing him here. Seems kind of pointless and I know I shouldn't say it, but I haven't seen any of my friends pregnant lately.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you're right… What do you th-” Hikori stopped and looked around for Ukyo. “Where'd she go?”

 

Ranma looked around as well. “Wow, she's good at that.”

 

 

Ukyo was in her room tapping her foot and fuming when Ranma arrived. “Well are you two done?”

 

Ranma got a nervous smile happening and took a seat on the couch. “Sorry, I didn't mean to blow you off there. When me and him talk business nothing else in the world seems to matter.”

 

“I'm just feeling a little used right now. You ball your eyes out on me and don't even say why.”

 

Ranma wiped a hand across his face, got up and got close to her with a quiet voice to her ear. “Look, I got drunk last night and woke up next to Jerry this morning, and in that room is enough evidence to flood a cabinet with paper work with solid proof of what happened.” His voice was secretive and the way he struggled to get the words out were beyond Ukyo.

 

“Oh… Well it's nothing to be ashamed of. She is a… Well she's an attractive woman.” It felt strange having this conversation with Ranma for some reason, but she was about to get an eye opener in just a few seconds.

 

“Jerry's a transvestite.”

 

Ukyo froze for a moment to let that sink in and when her eyes went wide with realization she put her arms around him. “Oh, sugar… I'm sorry…”

 

“You see why I didn't want to say this in front of Hikori, or anyone for that matter, right?”

 

“Yeah. You don't have to say anything else if you don't want to.”

 

“Wasn't planning to.”

 

Then another strange thought crossed Ukyo's mind. She was currently comforting the guy that was going to personally kill her fiancé. She wanted to let go, but not make it seem weird at the same time. She'd just placed herself in an oddly uncomfortable spot and she needed something to get rid of it, so she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Hey do you think I should open up a restaurant again?”

 

Ranma looked away unsure of where that came from, but it probably had some sort of deep meaning to her that he couldn't comprehend. “Uhh… Sure.” He thought about it for a second and then snapped his fingers. “Oh, why you set it up right in the casino?”

 

`I can't believe that worked.' Ukyo thought, but without missing a beat she said, “The casino? How can I afford that kind of real-estate?”

 

Ranma looked at her for a second and asked, “You helped in the heist, right?”

 

“Well, yeah a little bit. What're you gettin' at sugar?”

 

“Ukyo, we all own that casino now. I have a share, Hikori has a share, mom and dad have a share and you have a share as well. Every one that helped gets a share. We all own a piece of that casino.”

 

“Oh… Oh! I thought that Bugsy guy owned it?”

 

Ranma waved his finger pointed back at himself and at her. “He's the boss of the employees, but it's our casino.”

 

Ukyo stood shocked for a moment and finally came up with, “So I own a casino?”

 

“Part of it, yes.” She was starting to ride his patients, but he held out.

 

“So how much will renting out a section cost?”

 

Ranma stayed silent for a moment and just looked at her. “Ukyo. You own a share in the casino. You won't have to pay rent, nor will you have to worry about bills. Just tell Bugsy where you want to set up and you'll be up in no time.”

 

“What about material costs?”

 

“Ukyo…” Ranma held his tongue and thought for a moment. `Calm down… She's new to this.' Ranma rubbed his forehead with a little irritation, but spoke calmly. “You don't get it yet, do you?”

 

Ukyo stood still trying to figure it out. “What?”

 

“We're multimillionaires. There was two hundred and ninety-seven million in the vault, and that doesn't even come close to what we scammed the owner into giving Bugsy as inheritance.” *THUD* “Ukyo…? Hey you okay?”

 

Ukyo got back up to her feet with a hand to her chest breathing hard and put the other hand on a table for support. “I-I think I need to um sit, yeah, sit down for a second s-sugar.”

 

Ranma looked at her and pointed with a very calm concern. “You're looking a little flustered there, you need something to drink?”

 

“No. Yeah. Something… Did you just say two hundred and ninety-seven million!?” She screamed more then she asked.

 

Ranma nodded down once with a smile. “Yes. As Hikori put it, we are currently rolling in the dough. I was planning on tossing about three hundred grand on the floor sometime this afternoon and roll around on it. How about you?”

 

“Does anyone else know this!?”

 

Ranma started leading her out of the room and towards where the drinks were in the bar. “Nope, we were all going to tell every one the good news eventually. The thing is that if we told every one now, it might spawn some sort of mass spending spree, so this is just between you and me for now.”

 

“I can't feel my legs sugar…”

 

“Yeah, that tends to happen when you get a boat load of money without knowing it. Do you have that crawling feeling in your chest yet?”

 

She practically jumped on him and held him tight. “We're rich!”

 

“Yup.”

 

“I want you to name my restaurant. Ok?”

 

Ranma chuckled lightly. “Sure thing, leave it to me.”

 

Then Ukyo realized that she had just thrown herself back into that uncomfortable position that she'd tried so hard to get out of. `Awe, nuts…'

 

 

After feeling a little better, Ranma decided to grab Jerico and man himself up over at Boris's strip club, but he wanted to go more because he wanted to squeeze Paul for some information again. The drive there was pleasant until Jerico said something that brought the car to a screeching halt. “So I heard you came out of the closet man, congrats.”

 

*SCREEEEEEECH!!!*

 

Jerico whacked his head on the dashboard, but before he could hold in head Ranma had him by the shirt. “I don't know what Jerry told you, but lets get this clear right now, I never came out of the closet and last night I was extremely drunk.”

 

“So, what? You're a closet queen? Jerry was too for the longest-” The passenger side door opened and Jerico was tossed out of the vehicle. “ARGH!” Jerico hit the concrete and slowly got up. “Jerry was this violent about it too…”

 

“I am NOT gay!”

 

Jerico rubbed his neck as he sat in the street. “So how come you always dress up like a girl?”

 

Ranma pulled a water bottle out of the back seat and dumped the contents on himself. “I've got a condition!”

 

Jerico stared for a few seconds at the clear and apparent change. “So… Are you a dude or a chick?”

 

Ranma's eyes became lazy and a twitch developed above her eye. “You get to walk the rest of the way.” Ranma shut the door on Jerico and blasted down the remaining three blocks to the club.

 

A car honked at Jerico but he just kept sitting there. “I am so confused…”

 

 

Ranma didn't wait up for Jerico and walked in same as always, but something wasn't right. Music was playing, but there were no strippers, there was no one sitting with their drinks, let alone anyone at all in the strip joint. She looked around with a cautious eye and noticed that the usual bouncer was on the ground and didn't look all that alive. She started walking in slowly with her gun drawn and as she started passing the stage, raised voices were heard over the music.

 

Ranma couldn't make out a damn word of what they were saying, but it didn't sound like they were just shooting the breeze. A man was yelling something harsh and his voice sounded pretty fucking intimidating. It was coming from the back room that was for sure and if anyone was going to be getting info from either Boris or Paul, it was sure as hell going to her.

 

She put her back to the wall and crept close to the door with her gun close to her head. In her head she counted to three and with a kick to the door, pushed it open, but before she could aim a man in a black suit jacket had already drawn and with a perfect shot picked the heater right out of her hands. Ranma watched in astonishment as the gun flew past her head, but what really got her was the man coming at her before she could react. A stiff hand caught her around the throat and started squeezing hard. As Ranma turned blue a warm barrel pressed against her forehead and a calm, but almost crazy voice asked, “Who are you? A cop?”

 

Ranma's eyes were getting ready to roll back in their sockets but she heard Boris start yelling something and felt the energy to stay conscious just a little longer. “No! Don't kill her! She's just a stripper, leaver her out of this! She didn't know any better!”

 

The gun left her head and the man pointed it in Boris's direction. “Shut up. I'm done with you.” The man let loose four shots, and sent Boris to the floor covered in blood. Ranma's face was red struggling to get a breath in and that's when the man started loosening his grip. He still held her by the neck, but slammed his hand against the wall beside her head with the smoking gun still in it.

 

Ranma looked hard at his face through drowsy eyes. A long face with yellow eyes and a high forehead and on top was black hair with gray strands mixed in. The way he looked at her made the hairs on the back of her neck stand right up on end and his dawning smile showed just how crazy he was. He held her chin hard and rolled her head from side to side to get a good look, once he was done he pulled her forward and slammed her back against the wall again. “You better forget my face, or yours will end up on the back of a milk carton. Get it?” He threw her to the ground and started walking off with a couple of guys that played no part.

 

She watched them walk through the club and right out the front door without any fear. Ranma reached for her gun and slowly got up rubbing her throat. She looked at the ground where Boris was laying and went over to him to roll him over. When she did she found he wasn't dead yet. His eyes opened a little to see Ranma and he smiled. “H-hey kid… Sorry I couldn't do much more…”

 

She sat him up and leaned him against a couch he had set up. “It's ok Boris. You did good… You want a smoke?”

 

“Sure…”

 

Ranma reached into her pants for Hikori's smokes and lit one for him. “Thanks, Sheela… Or was it Ranko…? Yeah…”

 

“Who was that guy?”

 

Boris took a slow puff of the smoke and coughed a little. “That's someone you shouldn't be messing with… If I tell you promise me something, ok missy?”

 

“What?”

 

The smoke fell out of his mouth and he watched it start to burn a hole in his shirt. Ranma took it off and put it back in his mouth. “Thanks… That's the guy you're brother's looking for… Jasper… Someone must have tipped him off that I help him or something…” Boris coughed a few more times and looked up at the ceiling. “Damn…”

 

“My brother'll get him for ya. You just took a bullet for me Boris. You've got more balls then I thought.” Ranma put an arm around his shoulder and sat there with him.

 

“Thanks missy… That means a lot coming from you…” Boris started to relax and close his eyes, but a thought shot through his head and he looked forward with eyes wide open. “Shit… You have to go babe…”

 

Ranma caught the urgent tone in Boris's voice and asked. “What's wrong?” Boris almost got to his feet, but he fell back down with a shout of pain. “Boris! What's wrong?”

 

“Babe… You guys were working with Bugsy right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Boris's breathing started to become rough. “He knows Bugsy helped with the Casino job… Every one knows… His little girl… She's in trouble…”

 

“Marci! What's happening Boris! Tell me!”

 

Boris grabbed onto Ranma's shirt and spoke fast with breaks in his speech. “That little girl… Jasper's going to get her and send her to Chuck Palmer!” Boris coughed again but held on tight. “I've never been a smart man I'll admit, but… I know a sick fucking freak when I see one… Tell Bugsy, Marci's in danger… Tell him…! If there's one thing I want to do right in my life it's this… Save her before that son of a bitch lays a hand on her!” Boris found the last of his strength and pushed Ranma to her feet. “Get out of here kid! Find Chuck Palmer! Find him! Before… before…”

 

“I'll find him Boris. Sit tight I'll have some one come get you.”

 

“Forget about me… There's no time… Tell you brother… Tell him…”

 

Ranma ran out of the room and into the bar and as she did Boris slumped forward and hit the ground cold and dead with his face stretched across the floor and eyes still opened.

 

 

 

(The Hollies - Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress: The next chapter's going to be my Halloween special and it's probably going to be a little disturbing. I'll have it up in time.)