Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Kill Taki Volume one ❯ Chapter Two: The Blood Splattered Bride ( Chapter 3 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Xander Blaze 
What happened to the bride right after the wedding and introducing Two more of the Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassins.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Thriller / Adventure / Action | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.06.2004 | Updated On: 05.06.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 334 | Status: Completed
What happened to the bride right after the wedding and introducing Two more of the Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassins.
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Thriller / Adventure / Action | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 05.06.2004 | Updated On: 05.06.2004 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 334 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video.
Kill bill is a tradmark of miramax picture and Quinten Tarentino. Digi charat is
a trademark of Brocolli and finally Inu Yasha is another trademark of viz and Rumiko
Takahashi. I have no ownership to these characters, songs,or names.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------
For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat
the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern.
Supress all Human emotions and compassions...
Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha
Himself. The truth lies at the heart of the art of combat."
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------
Kill Taki Vol 1
by
Xander Blaze
Chapter 2
The blood Splattered Bride
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------
Four years and Six months Earlier in Kyoto, Japan
The shrine was filled with police officer, as they surveyed the attrocity that had
occured. The devestating crime scene was studyed by the coroner as he took
notes on it. In the distance from the shrine, a non descript car could be seen racing
towards the scene. In the driver's seat was chief of police Hayao Gosunkugi, an older
gentleman in his late 40's wearing tinted sunglasses. As he drove to the shrine, he
bobbed his head up and down to the beat of the song playing on his car radio
'Hold me Baby odoloyo sunday. Touch me baby Ukiuki Lady(1)' On his dashboard, there
were all sorts of anime paraphinalia ranging from plush toys to ufo catchers. Most of the
force believed him to be a borderline otaku.
As the car pulled up in front of the shrine, a younger gentleman ran up to the car. Or at least
he tried to run up to the car. This young man was dressed in officer blues that were wrinkled
and stained. His appearence was unsightly, but the most noticable thing was his face. Under
each eye was bags, that could be casue by either lack of sleep or stress. As the Young man
reached the car, his name plate shown in the sun. Hikaru Gosunkugi. Chief Gosunkugi looked at his
son from the car and asks him."Well, give me the gory details, My eldest son." "It's a horrible mess
oyaji." answers hikaru. The chief exits his car and closes it. Hikaru continues with his explanation,
"They wiped out the whole party, execution style." the two officers walk towards the shrine's
entrance. As the chief surveys the damage, he turns to his son. "Give me the figures." The officer
nods and pulls out a note pad. "Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the whol shebang. Bride.
Groom. The Shinto Priest. The Shrine Maiden. Hell, even the little old lady who used to ladle
water onto the sidewalk was shot to death (2)" As they continue their conversation, they enter
the temple.
Inside, the Chief starts to slowly walk around the room. "It would appear that someone objected
to this union and was not able to hold their piece." As he walks deeper into the house of worship
his feet step all over the spent bullet shells. "what did I tell you Oyaji." comments Hikaru to his father
"It's like a Mexican Mafia death Squad did this." Chief Gosunkugi looks around and states his final
analysis. " Well, this is definately the work of professionals, I'd guessimate a chinese triad hit squad.
Four, maybe five strong." He points at each of the bodies. "A sure and steady hand did this. You
will notice that there in virtually no blood on the floor. If you were a baka, you would almost admire it."
The chief passes over the bride and looks at her. Her face is full of blood and the gun shot wound at
the side of her head is slowly still leaking blood. One eyes is bruised and her lip is puffed out. Chief
Gosunkugi removes his glasses and moves closer to get a clear look at her. "Who's the bride?" he asks
his son. Hikaru looks at his notepad again and replies, "We don't know. The name on the marriage certificate
and on the family seal is Takahashi, Rumiko.(3) That's a fake. We've been calling her The Bride on account of what
she is wearing." The Chief loks at his son and looks back at the bride. Chief Gosunkugi takes a deep breath and
shakes his head. He stares at the bride's stomach and begins talking again. "You can tell she was pregnant," He
shakes his head "the man who did this had to have been out of his mind to shoot a kawaii onna like that in the
head." He draws close to her. "Look at her. Dark colored hair, Big eyes. She's a blood splattered angel." As
he says this, the bride's body unconsciously spits at him, right into his eye. Startled, the chief moves back. he
pulls out a hankerchief. "My eldest son" the chief says as he wipes his eye. "yeah oyaji." Officer Gosunkugi
replies. his father steps back and looks at his son."This tall drink of cock sucker ain't dead..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------------------------------
Now the bride is in a hospital bed all cleaned up. Her eyes are closed and she is clad in a hospital gown.
Outside, it is raiing hard and the sound of the raindrops hitting the window are deafening. the only other
sound in the room is the heart moniter beeping. However from outside, a melody is heard. Outside a
young woman wearing an okonomiyaki Delivery outfit is walking towards the entrance of the hospital.
The delivery woman is carrying a small box which usually carries okonomiyaki, so the guards let her pass.
The woman,in her early 20's, walks through the front doors of the hospital. She has long hair
that reaches the small of her back. the only odd thing about her is that she has an eye patch over
her right eye. From the side of the eye patch, a scar a slightly noticable. As she enters, her chestnut
hair waves around as she walks past the front desk down the hall. She whistles to the tune of 'Yappa
paa' (4)as she walks. She stops at a closet and ducks into it. When she slips into the closet, she locks
the door and proceeds to remove her Okonomiyaki uniform. Underneath her clothes is a nurse's outfit
which she straightens out. She sets her package on the floor and opens it. Inside the okonomiyaki box
is a tray, a nurse's hat, a white eyepatch and a syringe filled with red liquid. She places the nurse's cap
on her head and then proceeds to put the syringe on her tray. She continues to whistle as she is doing
this. The smile on her face is huge as she looks at the syringe. This pseudo nurse pulls her brown hair
under her nurse's cap and proceeds to look at the syringe. The syringe is filled will a concoction she
affectionately calls the goodbye juice. This goodbye serum will guarentee a good night to whomever
is on the revieving end of this shot. She changes her eye patch for the white eye patch with a red cross
on it and proceeds to leave the closet. She walks from the closet, carring the tray, towards the room
where the Bride lays comatose. As she nears the front door of the room, the "nurse" looks into the room
and sees her victum. She glares in hatred at her rival and smiles at the condition the bride is in.
Kuonji Ukyo
member
Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassination Squad
codename
Spatchla Girl
Ukyo walks into the room and pauses to see what has become of her great rival. She moves her hand
in front of the bride's face and feels the bride's breath on the back of her hand. She pulls her hand back
and gazes at her with her one eye. "I may never have liked you," Ukyo confesses,"In fact I despise you
sugah. But that shouldn't suggest that i don't respect you." Ukyo takes the syringe and prepares to inject
it into The Bride's I.V. "Dying in our sleep is a luxury that our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you."
As she inserts the needle into the iv and begins to put pressure onto the needle to release the poison,
her celphone rings. Ukyo pauses and looks at her phone. " For Fuck's sake" She curses as Ukyo removes the syringe
from the IV. She opens the cell phone and answers it.
"Hello Taki" she says sweetly. From the phone comes that elegant voice, "What is the condition she is in?"
Ukyo grins as she answers, "Comatose" Taki's voice pauses, then asks. "Where is she?" She looks down at the Bride and
calmly replies. "I'm standing over her right now." "That's my girl. Ukyo-san,thou are going to cancel thy mission." Ukyo is
shocked at this. "WHAT!" she shouts into the phone. On the other end, Taki sighs and tells Ukyo, "We owe her better
than that." Ukyo angrily retords. "YOU DON'T OWE HER SHIT!" Taki proceeds to warn her. "Would thou try to keep
thine voice down as to not alert the authorities about what is transpiring."Ukyo lowers her voice but still angrily whispers into
the phone, "you don't owe her shit." "May I say something?" Taki asks in that voice that ukyo knows means business. "Speak"
snarls Ukyo. "All of you beat her within an inch of her delicate life. But you didn't kill her. And I fired a bullet into her cerebellum,
But her heart kept on beating. Now thou saw that with your beautiful eyes, did you not?" Ukyo sighs as she listens to taki
continue. "We've done many things to this lady. And if she ever wakes up, we shall do even more things...But one thing we shall
not...is sneak into her room, in the middle of the night like a filth rat and kil her in her sleep. And the reason why we won't
do that thing is because that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Kuonji?" Ukyo Sniffles a little as she tries to
find her voice again."I guess" Taki's voice sounds a little more relaxed as he replies to ukyo's answer. " Do you really
have to guess?" Ukyo sighs and answers. "No I don't really have to guess. I know." satisfied that his protegy is humbled,
Taki decided to end the conversation. "Come home, My Beautiful Chef" She sighs and nods as she takes this last sentance it.
"Affirmative" Taki smiles as he closes this confrence. "I love you very much," Ukyo blushes and whispers her goodbye. "I
Love you too. bye bye." After hanging up the phone,she straightens up and walks over to the Bride's bed. Her eye
has a look of hatrd as she glares at her enemy." Thought that was pretty fuckin funny didn't you, Sugah? hmm?"
Ukyo moves in close and whispers her final message to the comatose warrior. "Word of advice shithead. Don't you
ever wake up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------
Four Years Later
Four Years have past since that night when Ukyo Kuonji visited the bride's bedside. Since that time
the Bride was moved into the coma ward of the hospital. As her body lay in her room, a mosquito flew into
the room. As it flew towards the bride, it landed on her arm. As it settled on its perch, the little bloodsucker
began to quench its thirst. However, it would not be there for long. As the mosquito drank, the heart moniter
began to beep faster and faster.
"AHHHH!" The Bride gasped as she woke up. As she looked around frantically, the last memory she had
popped into her head.
*Flashback*
"No, no my dear, at this moment. This is me at mine most masocistic." The gun is level at her head, as she struggles to
speak. In a weak voice, the bride is able to say, "Taki, the baby is not yo..."
Before she could finish her sentance, the gun fires. The bullet moves from the gun and hits the side of her skull. As
the pain fills the side of her head, the last thing the bride sees is the eyes of Taki, before darkness overtakes her.<BR>
*end flashback.*
As the memory of the gun shot rattled in her mind, her hands instintively went to the side of her head where she was shot.
As she took a few deep breaths, she looked around. Realizing she wasn not in the shrine, her hand went back to her head.
She put her hand to the side of her head where she was shot and felt it. It didn't feel right. She made a fist and tapped the side
of her skull. clank clank clank. Where the bullet had hit her, now was a metal plate. As the shock of this new development, her
hands went down to her waist.She patted at it as if she was looking for something. Not feeling anything, she pulled up her shirt
and was horrified. As the Bride looked down, she saw the worst thing imaginable. Her once pregnant belly was full of scars and
her baby was gone. All at once, The bride realize that her offspring, her little giel was no longer with her. Perhaps to join her
father in heaven. Tears fell down her face as all logic and reason left her. The Bride Screamed as she broke down and cryed.
the pain and loss she felt could not leave her. She kept feeling her stomach to make sure that this was not a nightmare.
"Oh, my baby." She sobbed as the feelings of loss tore through her soul. As she cried she slowly raised her palms to her face.
As the bride examined her hands through tear filled eyes, she noticed four additional lines to her palms. "Four Years" she
whispered, four years since her baby died, four year since Taki shot her and left her for dead. She clenched her hands
as her sadness was replaced by anger over the loss of four years of her life.
Suddenly from outside, the bride heard whistling and footsteps walking towards the door. Still unaware of if
this was a safe place, the bride looked around scanning for an exit or a weapon. Seeing no weapon in sighr, there was
only one other thing to do. She played posseum. Qucikly lying back down on the pallet, the bride closed her eyes
and slowed her breathing just before the door opened. As the door opened, an orderly walked in followed by another
gentleman. The orderly had the appearance of someone who was not japanese, but more chinese. He wore thick
cokebottle glasses and had a grin on his face. The orderly's companiont was wearing a ratty green jacket and a
baseball cape. The orderly struts up to the bride's bed and stops. The brides tries not to move as she listens to
the two men abover her. "The price is 14,000 yen a fuck ,my friend. You getting your freak on or what?" asks the orderly
with his chinese accent to his companion. The guy in the ratty jacket smiles as he moves to get his wallet. "Oh yeah, boy
my friend Daisuke said this bitch was great.(5)" The guy in the jacket hands his money over to the orderly. The orderly counts
out the money, "10 thousand, 11 thousand, 12 thousand, 14 thousand." The orderly smiles and pockets the money. "now here's
the rules." says the orderly as he clears his throat. " Rule number one. No punching her. Nurse comes in tommorow
and she got her a shiner or less some teeth, the jig is up."He forms his hand into a fist and punches the air to
clarify his point. "So no knuckle sandwitches under no circumstances." The orderly points at the bride and continues.
"And by the way, this cunt's a spitter. It's a motor- reflex thing. But spit or no, no punchin." He points his finger at the other
gentleman and wags it at him. "Now, hiroshi, are we absolutly clear on rule number one?" Hiroshi grins and nodes. "Yeah"
The orderly smiles and continues to lecture at hiroshi. "Good. Now rule number two. No monkey bites, no hickeys. In fact
no leaving a mark of no kind. After that, it's all good buddy." The two men grin as the thoughts of what will happen
fil their perverse minds. The orderly points at the Bride's crotch and explains one 'bonus' about the Bride's condition.
"now her Plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to cum in her all you want." Hiroshi gets a lustful
look in his eyes and takes off his cap. The orderly satisfied that his guest understand looks at his watch and then says, "keep
the noise down. Try not to make a mess and I'll be back in 20." He patts Hiroshi's shoulder and heads to the door.
As the Orderly begins to leave the room, he realizes he forgot something. "Oh shit!" He turns around and looks at hiroshi.
"By the way, not all the time, but sometimes this chick's cooch can get dried than a bucket of sand." The orderly reaches
into his back pocket and pulls out the most vile and disqusting can of vasoline on the face of the earth. The can looks like
it has been used since 1967. On the front of the can is the label, 'Jusenkyo Brand vasoline' (6). "If she dries, lube up with
this and you'll be good to go." The orderly tossses the container at Hiroshi who catches it. The orderly chuckles for a minute
and walks out. Hiroshi laughs for a moment as he thinks bout how much fun he's gonna have for the next 20 minutes.
hiroshi takes off his jacket and gets on top of the bed. He positions himself over the bride and start to move closer to her.
"You are the best looking onna I've had today. " He mutters as he moves close to kiss this 'comatose girl' who can't
do anything to his advances or so he thinks. As the pevert's lips touch her mouth, the Bride bites down hard. Hiroshi screams as
the woman bites on his lips. he tries to move away, but the girl will not let go. The bride pulls back hard, ripping off a third of
Hiroshi's mouth off. She then head butts him and shoves him off of her. The bride sits up and tries to get herself out of
her bed. Still covered in Hiroshi's blood, she lifts herself out of bed with her still strong arms, and pushes up. Only to fall
flat on her face. 'My legs, I can't move my legs.' the bride things as she realizes her legs are in entropy due to lack of
movement. She smacks her legs, trying to get them to move but to no avail. She looks to her left and sees a cup of
water that someone left on the floor. The Bride splashes herself in the face and tries to rinse off the blood from her mouth
and face. As she is doing this, she hears the orderly's whistling and footsteps coming towards the door. She looks for a weapon
again, but this time she spies a switch blade sticking out of dead Hiroshi's pocket. She reaches for the blade and pulls it
out of its sheath. Once in her hand, she flips the knife so the blade snaps into place. She hears the footsteps getting
louder and louder. Using all the muscles in her arms, the bride pulls her body with her arms in a crawl to be near the door.
The orderly walks up to the door and rapps on the wood. "Yo stud! Time's up Buddy." The orderly listens for a moment and reaches
for the doorknob. He opens the door and walks in saying, "Coming in, Ready or not." He enters the room and while not really
looking says, "Hey Hiroshi, Buddy, Did you have yourself a good time?" His mouth drops as he sees hiroshi on the floor bleeding from
his mouth, "Whoah". HE also sees that the comatose woman is missing from her bed. He looks from Hiroshi to the bed. As he stares
and tries to comprehend what happened, the Bride is on the floor behind him, with the switch blade in hand, ready to strike. As the
orderly stands there, The Bride strikes, slicing the orderly's achillies heels in half. "AHHHH!", the orderly screams as he falls to
the ground. He cringes as he feels the intense pain from his ankles. He moans slightly as the bride drags him to the door. The orderly's
head is positioned between the door and the post. The bride looks the orderly straight in the eyes, grabs the door and asks him
"WHERE'S TAKI?" she slams the door on his head and repeats her question. "WHERE'S TAKI?" She again slams the door on the orderly's
skull. The man looks disoriented as his head is slowly being crushed. "Please stop hitting me" he whimpers as the Bride stares at him
and then proceeds to slam it on his head again. "WHERE'S TAKI?" The orderly frantically stutters out, " I don't know who
Taki is!" The bride grinds her heeth and spits out, "BULLSHIT!" She slams the door again on the orderly's throbbing head for a fourth time.
The bride pants as moving the door is taking alot out of her. She looks at the orderly's name tag. It reads 'Sakura Hospital, Duck'
When she reads this, she looks down to his hand and sees the english word FUCK tattooed on his knuckle. When she reads this, she has
a memory of who Duck is.
*Flashback*
2 years prior
Duck is standing over the comatose body of the Bride and is talking to her. "Well ain't you the slice of cutie Pie
They said you was? Jane doe, huh? We don't know shit bout you, do we?" Duck stands up straight and looks
at the comatose Bride. "Well, I am from Joketsuyo Village, China. My name is Mousee, but everyone calls me Duck.
If you could speak, you could call me Duck too. Well my name is Duck and I'm hear to Fuck."
*END FLASHBACK*
As the memory ended, the Bride gets a dirty look on her face. She stares at her rapist, Duck and tightens her
grip on the door. She looks at Duck and tells him. "Your name is Duck. RIGHT?" Duck looks at her with fear in his eyes.
"And your came here to fuck. RIGHT?" As Duck hears this, he realises that the Bride is royally Pissed off. he looks
at her and tries to talk his way out of it. "wait a minute. WAIT" but it's too late. She uses all her might to slam
the door on his skull, crushing it.
As Duck lays there, twitching with blood flowing from his crushed head, The Bride pulls herself up and proceeds
to look through his pockets. She pulls out a pair of glasses, a wallet, and a key ring with car keys attached to them.
The key chain, stylized in Pimp Writing, reads, 'Hentai Wagon'. The Bride looks at this in disbelief as she reads the words
on the keychain. She looks at the corpse of the orderly and snarles. "You fucker!" she shouts as she slams the door on
his already crushed skull to vent her frustration. Once she is finished, she stops a moment to catch her breath. Once her
breath is caught, the bride begins to remove Duck's pants...
A few minutes later, an elevator opens and out comes the Bride in a wheelchair, wearing Duck's Orderly Clothing.
As she wheels herself down the hallway, she sees the door for the parking garage. When she gets in the garage, she
moves from lane to lane looking for Duck's car. As she wheels down a lane, she notices the license plates. Kyoto plates.
"ok, still in kyoto, good." the bride mutters to herself. now that she is aware of her location, she knows how to get out of
that town. She continues her search for Duck's car, but suddenly she stops abruptly in front of a car. This car is a huge
SUV that is neon pink and has the words 'HENTAI WAGON' detailed on the back. She reaches into her pocket and pulls
out Duck's keys. She looks at the keys and smiles. It looks like she found her ride.
After 20 minutes of struggling, the bride was able to get herself into the back seat of the Hentai wagon. She was
able to close the door before she almost passed out from exhaustion. She lay there in the closed car looking at her toes.
As she looked at her toes she slowly massaged her thigh. She looked back at her toes and said, "Wiggle your big toe."
He toe does not move. "Wiggle your big toe." she repeats, as if trying to will her toe to move. She puts her hands together
and concentrates. She stares at her toe and repeats the mantra, "Wiggle your Big Toe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------
*First person point of View of the bride*
As i lay in the back of Duck's truck,trying to will my limbs out of entropy... I could see the faces of the cunts whodid this
to me. And the dicks responsible. members all of the Nerima Wrecking Crew assassination Squad. When Fortune smiles
on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other that not only does Kamisama Exist, your doing
his will. At a time when i knew the least about my enemies, The first name on my death list, Xian Pu, was the easiest
to find. But when one manages the difficult tasks of becoming queen of the hong kong underwold, one doesn't
keep it a secret, does one?
XIAN PU
Member
Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassination Squad
Codename
Amazon
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------
to be continues
Author's notes
1)For those of you who do not know, this is lyrics from "Party Night" From the anime series
Digi Charat. A personal favorite of mine.
2)It's about time someone killed the ladle lady. In all the fanfics i've read, that lady just keeps
splashing the jusenkyo victims and never gets repremanded for it. So finally she got her come upance.
3) had to put homage to rumiko takahashi sama. For if it wasn't for her. I would not be an anime fan.
4) Yes i'm a sick fuck. having her whistle "don't make me wild like you" such a sadistic song to sing
now every one will have that song stuck in their head. mwa hahahaha.
5) as you may or may not have guessed, this is hiroshi one of the two recurring side characters in
ranma 1/2.
6) it's official Jusenkyo makes not only soaps and instant spring powder, but now vasoline....-_- and no
i am not high.
This chapter had a little bit more comedy than the earlier chapters. Making Gosenkugi into an officer
was a good idea i think. The reason why i wrote this fic was because i was intrigued by kill bill being
applied to my favorite anime series. Overall I hope that my fanfic is enjoyable and keeps you on your toes.
As for the Next chapter, much will be revealed. Including what happened to shampoo to turn her into
a crazed killer and the more pertenant question. Where's ranma in all of this. As to the identity of the bride,I have not decided who
the bride will be. A few of the possibilities
(not all of the possibilities but some)are these
Cologne
Lum
Ninomiya,Hinako
Plum
Raichi
Pink
Rink
Saginomiya, Asuka
Saotome, Nodoka
Shiratori, Azusa
Tsukino,Usagi
Unryuu, Akari
As to the true identity of the bride, it may be among these names, but you will have to wait and see.
The one thing i will guarentee is that you'll be truly suprised when all is said and done. It's the person you would least suspect
for all characters not named, I have plans for them. Also flashbacks will now be marked by astricx (*)
so it is less confusing. hope you enjoy this story.
I accept comments, however no flames. All flames will be met with massive smitings.
Kill bill is a tradmark of miramax picture and Quinten Tarentino. Digi charat is
a trademark of Brocolli and finally Inu Yasha is another trademark of viz and Rumiko
Takahashi. I have no ownership to these characters, songs,or names.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------
For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat
the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern.
Supress all Human emotions and compassions...
Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha
Himself. The truth lies at the heart of the art of combat."
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------
Kill Taki Vol 1
by
Xander Blaze
Chapter 2
The blood Splattered Bride
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------
Four years and Six months Earlier in Kyoto, Japan
The shrine was filled with police officer, as they surveyed the attrocity that had
occured. The devestating crime scene was studyed by the coroner as he took
notes on it. In the distance from the shrine, a non descript car could be seen racing
towards the scene. In the driver's seat was chief of police Hayao Gosunkugi, an older
gentleman in his late 40's wearing tinted sunglasses. As he drove to the shrine, he
bobbed his head up and down to the beat of the song playing on his car radio
'Hold me Baby odoloyo sunday. Touch me baby Ukiuki Lady(1)' On his dashboard, there
were all sorts of anime paraphinalia ranging from plush toys to ufo catchers. Most of the
force believed him to be a borderline otaku.
As the car pulled up in front of the shrine, a younger gentleman ran up to the car. Or at least
he tried to run up to the car. This young man was dressed in officer blues that were wrinkled
and stained. His appearence was unsightly, but the most noticable thing was his face. Under
each eye was bags, that could be casue by either lack of sleep or stress. As the Young man
reached the car, his name plate shown in the sun. Hikaru Gosunkugi. Chief Gosunkugi looked at his
son from the car and asks him."Well, give me the gory details, My eldest son." "It's a horrible mess
oyaji." answers hikaru. The chief exits his car and closes it. Hikaru continues with his explanation,
"They wiped out the whole party, execution style." the two officers walk towards the shrine's
entrance. As the chief surveys the damage, he turns to his son. "Give me the figures." The officer
nods and pulls out a note pad. "Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the whol shebang. Bride.
Groom. The Shinto Priest. The Shrine Maiden. Hell, even the little old lady who used to ladle
water onto the sidewalk was shot to death (2)" As they continue their conversation, they enter
the temple.
Inside, the Chief starts to slowly walk around the room. "It would appear that someone objected
to this union and was not able to hold their piece." As he walks deeper into the house of worship
his feet step all over the spent bullet shells. "what did I tell you Oyaji." comments Hikaru to his father
"It's like a Mexican Mafia death Squad did this." Chief Gosunkugi looks around and states his final
analysis. " Well, this is definately the work of professionals, I'd guessimate a chinese triad hit squad.
Four, maybe five strong." He points at each of the bodies. "A sure and steady hand did this. You
will notice that there in virtually no blood on the floor. If you were a baka, you would almost admire it."
The chief passes over the bride and looks at her. Her face is full of blood and the gun shot wound at
the side of her head is slowly still leaking blood. One eyes is bruised and her lip is puffed out. Chief
Gosunkugi removes his glasses and moves closer to get a clear look at her. "Who's the bride?" he asks
his son. Hikaru looks at his notepad again and replies, "We don't know. The name on the marriage certificate
and on the family seal is Takahashi, Rumiko.(3) That's a fake. We've been calling her The Bride on account of what
she is wearing." The Chief loks at his son and looks back at the bride. Chief Gosunkugi takes a deep breath and
shakes his head. He stares at the bride's stomach and begins talking again. "You can tell she was pregnant," He
shakes his head "the man who did this had to have been out of his mind to shoot a kawaii onna like that in the
head." He draws close to her. "Look at her. Dark colored hair, Big eyes. She's a blood splattered angel." As
he says this, the bride's body unconsciously spits at him, right into his eye. Startled, the chief moves back. he
pulls out a hankerchief. "My eldest son" the chief says as he wipes his eye. "yeah oyaji." Officer Gosunkugi
replies. his father steps back and looks at his son."This tall drink of cock sucker ain't dead..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------------------------------
Now the bride is in a hospital bed all cleaned up. Her eyes are closed and she is clad in a hospital gown.
Outside, it is raiing hard and the sound of the raindrops hitting the window are deafening. the only other
sound in the room is the heart moniter beeping. However from outside, a melody is heard. Outside a
young woman wearing an okonomiyaki Delivery outfit is walking towards the entrance of the hospital.
The delivery woman is carrying a small box which usually carries okonomiyaki, so the guards let her pass.
The woman,in her early 20's, walks through the front doors of the hospital. She has long hair
that reaches the small of her back. the only odd thing about her is that she has an eye patch over
her right eye. From the side of the eye patch, a scar a slightly noticable. As she enters, her chestnut
hair waves around as she walks past the front desk down the hall. She whistles to the tune of 'Yappa
paa' (4)as she walks. She stops at a closet and ducks into it. When she slips into the closet, she locks
the door and proceeds to remove her Okonomiyaki uniform. Underneath her clothes is a nurse's outfit
which she straightens out. She sets her package on the floor and opens it. Inside the okonomiyaki box
is a tray, a nurse's hat, a white eyepatch and a syringe filled with red liquid. She places the nurse's cap
on her head and then proceeds to put the syringe on her tray. She continues to whistle as she is doing
this. The smile on her face is huge as she looks at the syringe. This pseudo nurse pulls her brown hair
under her nurse's cap and proceeds to look at the syringe. The syringe is filled will a concoction she
affectionately calls the goodbye juice. This goodbye serum will guarentee a good night to whomever
is on the revieving end of this shot. She changes her eye patch for the white eye patch with a red cross
on it and proceeds to leave the closet. She walks from the closet, carring the tray, towards the room
where the Bride lays comatose. As she nears the front door of the room, the "nurse" looks into the room
and sees her victum. She glares in hatred at her rival and smiles at the condition the bride is in.
Kuonji Ukyo
member
Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassination Squad
codename
Spatchla Girl
Ukyo walks into the room and pauses to see what has become of her great rival. She moves her hand
in front of the bride's face and feels the bride's breath on the back of her hand. She pulls her hand back
and gazes at her with her one eye. "I may never have liked you," Ukyo confesses,"In fact I despise you
sugah. But that shouldn't suggest that i don't respect you." Ukyo takes the syringe and prepares to inject
it into The Bride's I.V. "Dying in our sleep is a luxury that our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you."
As she inserts the needle into the iv and begins to put pressure onto the needle to release the poison,
her celphone rings. Ukyo pauses and looks at her phone. " For Fuck's sake" She curses as Ukyo removes the syringe
from the IV. She opens the cell phone and answers it.
"Hello Taki" she says sweetly. From the phone comes that elegant voice, "What is the condition she is in?"
Ukyo grins as she answers, "Comatose" Taki's voice pauses, then asks. "Where is she?" She looks down at the Bride and
calmly replies. "I'm standing over her right now." "That's my girl. Ukyo-san,thou are going to cancel thy mission." Ukyo is
shocked at this. "WHAT!" she shouts into the phone. On the other end, Taki sighs and tells Ukyo, "We owe her better
than that." Ukyo angrily retords. "YOU DON'T OWE HER SHIT!" Taki proceeds to warn her. "Would thou try to keep
thine voice down as to not alert the authorities about what is transpiring."Ukyo lowers her voice but still angrily whispers into
the phone, "you don't owe her shit." "May I say something?" Taki asks in that voice that ukyo knows means business. "Speak"
snarls Ukyo. "All of you beat her within an inch of her delicate life. But you didn't kill her. And I fired a bullet into her cerebellum,
But her heart kept on beating. Now thou saw that with your beautiful eyes, did you not?" Ukyo sighs as she listens to taki
continue. "We've done many things to this lady. And if she ever wakes up, we shall do even more things...But one thing we shall
not...is sneak into her room, in the middle of the night like a filth rat and kil her in her sleep. And the reason why we won't
do that thing is because that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Kuonji?" Ukyo Sniffles a little as she tries to
find her voice again."I guess" Taki's voice sounds a little more relaxed as he replies to ukyo's answer. " Do you really
have to guess?" Ukyo sighs and answers. "No I don't really have to guess. I know." satisfied that his protegy is humbled,
Taki decided to end the conversation. "Come home, My Beautiful Chef" She sighs and nods as she takes this last sentance it.
"Affirmative" Taki smiles as he closes this confrence. "I love you very much," Ukyo blushes and whispers her goodbye. "I
Love you too. bye bye." After hanging up the phone,she straightens up and walks over to the Bride's bed. Her eye
has a look of hatrd as she glares at her enemy." Thought that was pretty fuckin funny didn't you, Sugah? hmm?"
Ukyo moves in close and whispers her final message to the comatose warrior. "Word of advice shithead. Don't you
ever wake up.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------
Four Years Later
Four Years have past since that night when Ukyo Kuonji visited the bride's bedside. Since that time
the Bride was moved into the coma ward of the hospital. As her body lay in her room, a mosquito flew into
the room. As it flew towards the bride, it landed on her arm. As it settled on its perch, the little bloodsucker
began to quench its thirst. However, it would not be there for long. As the mosquito drank, the heart moniter
began to beep faster and faster.
"AHHHH!" The Bride gasped as she woke up. As she looked around frantically, the last memory she had
popped into her head.
*Flashback*
"No, no my dear, at this moment. This is me at mine most masocistic." The gun is level at her head, as she struggles to
speak. In a weak voice, the bride is able to say, "Taki, the baby is not yo..."
Before she could finish her sentance, the gun fires. The bullet moves from the gun and hits the side of her skull. As
the pain fills the side of her head, the last thing the bride sees is the eyes of Taki, before darkness overtakes her.<BR>
*end flashback.*
As the memory of the gun shot rattled in her mind, her hands instintively went to the side of her head where she was shot.
As she took a few deep breaths, she looked around. Realizing she wasn not in the shrine, her hand went back to her head.
She put her hand to the side of her head where she was shot and felt it. It didn't feel right. She made a fist and tapped the side
of her skull. clank clank clank. Where the bullet had hit her, now was a metal plate. As the shock of this new development, her
hands went down to her waist.She patted at it as if she was looking for something. Not feeling anything, she pulled up her shirt
and was horrified. As the Bride looked down, she saw the worst thing imaginable. Her once pregnant belly was full of scars and
her baby was gone. All at once, The bride realize that her offspring, her little giel was no longer with her. Perhaps to join her
father in heaven. Tears fell down her face as all logic and reason left her. The Bride Screamed as she broke down and cryed.
the pain and loss she felt could not leave her. She kept feeling her stomach to make sure that this was not a nightmare.
"Oh, my baby." She sobbed as the feelings of loss tore through her soul. As she cried she slowly raised her palms to her face.
As the bride examined her hands through tear filled eyes, she noticed four additional lines to her palms. "Four Years" she
whispered, four years since her baby died, four year since Taki shot her and left her for dead. She clenched her hands
as her sadness was replaced by anger over the loss of four years of her life.
Suddenly from outside, the bride heard whistling and footsteps walking towards the door. Still unaware of if
this was a safe place, the bride looked around scanning for an exit or a weapon. Seeing no weapon in sighr, there was
only one other thing to do. She played posseum. Qucikly lying back down on the pallet, the bride closed her eyes
and slowed her breathing just before the door opened. As the door opened, an orderly walked in followed by another
gentleman. The orderly had the appearance of someone who was not japanese, but more chinese. He wore thick
cokebottle glasses and had a grin on his face. The orderly's companiont was wearing a ratty green jacket and a
baseball cape. The orderly struts up to the bride's bed and stops. The brides tries not to move as she listens to
the two men abover her. "The price is 14,000 yen a fuck ,my friend. You getting your freak on or what?" asks the orderly
with his chinese accent to his companion. The guy in the ratty jacket smiles as he moves to get his wallet. "Oh yeah, boy
my friend Daisuke said this bitch was great.(5)" The guy in the jacket hands his money over to the orderly. The orderly counts
out the money, "10 thousand, 11 thousand, 12 thousand, 14 thousand." The orderly smiles and pockets the money. "now here's
the rules." says the orderly as he clears his throat. " Rule number one. No punching her. Nurse comes in tommorow
and she got her a shiner or less some teeth, the jig is up."He forms his hand into a fist and punches the air to
clarify his point. "So no knuckle sandwitches under no circumstances." The orderly points at the bride and continues.
"And by the way, this cunt's a spitter. It's a motor- reflex thing. But spit or no, no punchin." He points his finger at the other
gentleman and wags it at him. "Now, hiroshi, are we absolutly clear on rule number one?" Hiroshi grins and nodes. "Yeah"
The orderly smiles and continues to lecture at hiroshi. "Good. Now rule number two. No monkey bites, no hickeys. In fact
no leaving a mark of no kind. After that, it's all good buddy." The two men grin as the thoughts of what will happen
fil their perverse minds. The orderly points at the Bride's crotch and explains one 'bonus' about the Bride's condition.
"now her Plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to cum in her all you want." Hiroshi gets a lustful
look in his eyes and takes off his cap. The orderly satisfied that his guest understand looks at his watch and then says, "keep
the noise down. Try not to make a mess and I'll be back in 20." He patts Hiroshi's shoulder and heads to the door.
As the Orderly begins to leave the room, he realizes he forgot something. "Oh shit!" He turns around and looks at hiroshi.
"By the way, not all the time, but sometimes this chick's cooch can get dried than a bucket of sand." The orderly reaches
into his back pocket and pulls out the most vile and disqusting can of vasoline on the face of the earth. The can looks like
it has been used since 1967. On the front of the can is the label, 'Jusenkyo Brand vasoline' (6). "If she dries, lube up with
this and you'll be good to go." The orderly tossses the container at Hiroshi who catches it. The orderly chuckles for a minute
and walks out. Hiroshi laughs for a moment as he thinks bout how much fun he's gonna have for the next 20 minutes.
hiroshi takes off his jacket and gets on top of the bed. He positions himself over the bride and start to move closer to her.
"You are the best looking onna I've had today. " He mutters as he moves close to kiss this 'comatose girl' who can't
do anything to his advances or so he thinks. As the pevert's lips touch her mouth, the Bride bites down hard. Hiroshi screams as
the woman bites on his lips. he tries to move away, but the girl will not let go. The bride pulls back hard, ripping off a third of
Hiroshi's mouth off. She then head butts him and shoves him off of her. The bride sits up and tries to get herself out of
her bed. Still covered in Hiroshi's blood, she lifts herself out of bed with her still strong arms, and pushes up. Only to fall
flat on her face. 'My legs, I can't move my legs.' the bride things as she realizes her legs are in entropy due to lack of
movement. She smacks her legs, trying to get them to move but to no avail. She looks to her left and sees a cup of
water that someone left on the floor. The Bride splashes herself in the face and tries to rinse off the blood from her mouth
and face. As she is doing this, she hears the orderly's whistling and footsteps coming towards the door. She looks for a weapon
again, but this time she spies a switch blade sticking out of dead Hiroshi's pocket. She reaches for the blade and pulls it
out of its sheath. Once in her hand, she flips the knife so the blade snaps into place. She hears the footsteps getting
louder and louder. Using all the muscles in her arms, the bride pulls her body with her arms in a crawl to be near the door.
The orderly walks up to the door and rapps on the wood. "Yo stud! Time's up Buddy." The orderly listens for a moment and reaches
for the doorknob. He opens the door and walks in saying, "Coming in, Ready or not." He enters the room and while not really
looking says, "Hey Hiroshi, Buddy, Did you have yourself a good time?" His mouth drops as he sees hiroshi on the floor bleeding from
his mouth, "Whoah". HE also sees that the comatose woman is missing from her bed. He looks from Hiroshi to the bed. As he stares
and tries to comprehend what happened, the Bride is on the floor behind him, with the switch blade in hand, ready to strike. As the
orderly stands there, The Bride strikes, slicing the orderly's achillies heels in half. "AHHHH!", the orderly screams as he falls to
the ground. He cringes as he feels the intense pain from his ankles. He moans slightly as the bride drags him to the door. The orderly's
head is positioned between the door and the post. The bride looks the orderly straight in the eyes, grabs the door and asks him
"WHERE'S TAKI?" she slams the door on his head and repeats her question. "WHERE'S TAKI?" She again slams the door on the orderly's
skull. The man looks disoriented as his head is slowly being crushed. "Please stop hitting me" he whimpers as the Bride stares at him
and then proceeds to slam it on his head again. "WHERE'S TAKI?" The orderly frantically stutters out, " I don't know who
Taki is!" The bride grinds her heeth and spits out, "BULLSHIT!" She slams the door again on the orderly's throbbing head for a fourth time.
The bride pants as moving the door is taking alot out of her. She looks at the orderly's name tag. It reads 'Sakura Hospital, Duck'
When she reads this, she looks down to his hand and sees the english word FUCK tattooed on his knuckle. When she reads this, she has
a memory of who Duck is.
*Flashback*
2 years prior
Duck is standing over the comatose body of the Bride and is talking to her. "Well ain't you the slice of cutie Pie
They said you was? Jane doe, huh? We don't know shit bout you, do we?" Duck stands up straight and looks
at the comatose Bride. "Well, I am from Joketsuyo Village, China. My name is Mousee, but everyone calls me Duck.
If you could speak, you could call me Duck too. Well my name is Duck and I'm hear to Fuck."
*END FLASHBACK*
As the memory ended, the Bride gets a dirty look on her face. She stares at her rapist, Duck and tightens her
grip on the door. She looks at Duck and tells him. "Your name is Duck. RIGHT?" Duck looks at her with fear in his eyes.
"And your came here to fuck. RIGHT?" As Duck hears this, he realises that the Bride is royally Pissed off. he looks
at her and tries to talk his way out of it. "wait a minute. WAIT" but it's too late. She uses all her might to slam
the door on his skull, crushing it.
As Duck lays there, twitching with blood flowing from his crushed head, The Bride pulls herself up and proceeds
to look through his pockets. She pulls out a pair of glasses, a wallet, and a key ring with car keys attached to them.
The key chain, stylized in Pimp Writing, reads, 'Hentai Wagon'. The Bride looks at this in disbelief as she reads the words
on the keychain. She looks at the corpse of the orderly and snarles. "You fucker!" she shouts as she slams the door on
his already crushed skull to vent her frustration. Once she is finished, she stops a moment to catch her breath. Once her
breath is caught, the bride begins to remove Duck's pants...
A few minutes later, an elevator opens and out comes the Bride in a wheelchair, wearing Duck's Orderly Clothing.
As she wheels herself down the hallway, she sees the door for the parking garage. When she gets in the garage, she
moves from lane to lane looking for Duck's car. As she wheels down a lane, she notices the license plates. Kyoto plates.
"ok, still in kyoto, good." the bride mutters to herself. now that she is aware of her location, she knows how to get out of
that town. She continues her search for Duck's car, but suddenly she stops abruptly in front of a car. This car is a huge
SUV that is neon pink and has the words 'HENTAI WAGON' detailed on the back. She reaches into her pocket and pulls
out Duck's keys. She looks at the keys and smiles. It looks like she found her ride.
After 20 minutes of struggling, the bride was able to get herself into the back seat of the Hentai wagon. She was
able to close the door before she almost passed out from exhaustion. She lay there in the closed car looking at her toes.
As she looked at her toes she slowly massaged her thigh. She looked back at her toes and said, "Wiggle your big toe."
He toe does not move. "Wiggle your big toe." she repeats, as if trying to will her toe to move. She puts her hands together
and concentrates. She stares at her toe and repeats the mantra, "Wiggle your Big Toe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------
*First person point of View of the bride*
As i lay in the back of Duck's truck,trying to will my limbs out of entropy... I could see the faces of the cunts whodid this
to me. And the dicks responsible. members all of the Nerima Wrecking Crew assassination Squad. When Fortune smiles
on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other that not only does Kamisama Exist, your doing
his will. At a time when i knew the least about my enemies, The first name on my death list, Xian Pu, was the easiest
to find. But when one manages the difficult tasks of becoming queen of the hong kong underwold, one doesn't
keep it a secret, does one?
XIAN PU
Member
Nerima Wrecking Crew Assassination Squad
Codename
Amazon
------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------------------------
to be continues
Author's notes
1)For those of you who do not know, this is lyrics from "Party Night" From the anime series
Digi Charat. A personal favorite of mine.
2)It's about time someone killed the ladle lady. In all the fanfics i've read, that lady just keeps
splashing the jusenkyo victims and never gets repremanded for it. So finally she got her come upance.
3) had to put homage to rumiko takahashi sama. For if it wasn't for her. I would not be an anime fan.
4) Yes i'm a sick fuck. having her whistle "don't make me wild like you" such a sadistic song to sing
now every one will have that song stuck in their head. mwa hahahaha.
5) as you may or may not have guessed, this is hiroshi one of the two recurring side characters in
ranma 1/2.
6) it's official Jusenkyo makes not only soaps and instant spring powder, but now vasoline....-_- and no
i am not high.
This chapter had a little bit more comedy than the earlier chapters. Making Gosenkugi into an officer
was a good idea i think. The reason why i wrote this fic was because i was intrigued by kill bill being
applied to my favorite anime series. Overall I hope that my fanfic is enjoyable and keeps you on your toes.
As for the Next chapter, much will be revealed. Including what happened to shampoo to turn her into
a crazed killer and the more pertenant question. Where's ranma in all of this. As to the identity of the bride,I have not decided who
the bride will be. A few of the possibilities
(not all of the possibilities but some)are these
Cologne
Lum
Ninomiya,Hinako
Plum
Raichi
Pink
Rink
Saginomiya, Asuka
Saotome, Nodoka
Shiratori, Azusa
Tsukino,Usagi
Unryuu, Akari
As to the true identity of the bride, it may be among these names, but you will have to wait and see.
The one thing i will guarentee is that you'll be truly suprised when all is said and done. It's the person you would least suspect
for all characters not named, I have plans for them. Also flashbacks will now be marked by astricx (*)
so it is less confusing. hope you enjoy this story.
I accept comments, however no flames. All flames will be met with massive smitings.