Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ran Wars ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Imported From: RAAC
From: chmcneil@upei.ca

(We see space, a dark, cold, lifeless mess filled with twinkling
stars. As we watch, the scene is suddenly filled by a gold
shape. We are too close to distinguish it, but it moves slowly
away from us until we can make it out as two words)

RAN
WARS

(The logo fades away and we begin to see text scroll up from the
screen on an angle.)

Episode 1/2
An Old Plot

The rebel alliance has suffered a major defeat with the
destruction of the planet Nerima at the hands of Darth
Saotome. Now, the leader of the Rebellion, King Soun Tendo,
fights desperately to save the Alliance from the dreaded
Imperial Navy.
In an attempt to place his daughter, Princess Akane, out
of danger, King Soun has sent her to the planet Tokyo
where she will meet the boy that Soun arranged for her to marry
long ago.
However, Darth Saotome has learned of this, and he is angry.
He has his own plans for Princess Akane...

(The words disappear into the distance. When they are finally
gone, a ship comes into view. It looks like a standard
Corvette except for the large dojo-like structure on top. As
we watch, the view zooms into the structure. Inside, the
place is decorated like a traditional Japanese home. We see a
teenage girl, about sixteen years old, wearing a green
martial arts gi. Her blue-black hair is tied back in two donut-
like curls on the side of her head. She has a rather pretty
face which is currently wearing a scowl.)

Girl: Stupid father!
(She karate chops a group of three bricks in front of her, they
break, sending chunks flying away. The girl begins to set
up more bricks when a droid enters. It is designed to look like
a young Japanese girl. Her face is attractive, despite its
metallic shine. She has a large spatula attached to her arm. On
the spatula is a steaming object that looks something
like a pancake. She approaches the girl-who looks up, still
scowling.)

Girl Droid: Please, Princess Akane, you should be more calm.

Akane: Calm!? How am I supposed to be calm, Ukyou? My stupid
father has engaged me to some...some boy! Without even bothering
to ask me!
(She crushes another brick.)

Ukyou: It is not uncommon among royal families for marriages to
be arranged without consulting the children...

Akane: I don't care! This is stupid! We're the only royal
family left in the whole universe, so that shouldn't apply!
Besides, I've never even heard of these Skywalkers!

Ukyou: Nobody has. The family was supposed to have died on...
(slight catch in her voice)N-Nerima. But your father
has located a living relation on Tokyo.

Akane(softly):You're still sad about Nerima, aren't you?

Ukyou(wistfully):My old master lived on Nerima. I guess
I'm still hoping we will be reunited.

Akane: Hmph! Sorry Ukyou, but I'm too angry to console
anyone right now.

Ukyou(sadly): That's okay. (Brightens) Here, eat. I made it
special for you!
(Akane picks up the pancake and begins to munch on it.)

Akane: You always make okonomiyaki.

Ukyou: Blame it on my programmers. If they can mess up my
emotion chip so much that I fall in love with a human,
then they're probably responsible for any odd cooking
preferences. (Pauses thoughtfully, then smiles.) But you have
to admit I make the best okonomiyaki of any chef droid around!

Akane:(smiles) You sure do. (finishes the okonomiyaki.) You
always cheer me up, Ukyou. Thanks.

Ukyou:(Exaggerated bow.) Just doing my duty, your highness.
(Akane laughs. Just then, there are several loud bangs from
outside. After a moment, the door opens and a second droid
enters. This one is designed to look like a Chinese teenager.
Everything about him is a perfect-if metallic-replica of a
boy, from his white robe to his long black hair. On his
face are two white sensors that look absurdly like huge glasses.
He looks about, then approaches a potted plant.)

Boy Droid: Princess, I have urgent news!

Akane:(Sighs.) I'm over here, Mousse.
(The droid turns in the direction of her voice. He looks around
for a moment, then Ukyou waves and he approaches.)

Ukyou: What is it, Mousse?

Mousse: Hello, Ukyou. Hello, Princess.

Akane: For the millionth time, Mousse, call me Akane.

Mousse(Bowing to the pile of crushed bricks.): As you wish, Princess.
(Akane groans.)

Akane: What do you want, Mousse?

Mousse: I thought that you should be informed that an ship is
rapidly catching up with us in hyperspace.

Akane(Eyes narrowed.): What kind of ship?

Mousse: An Imperial Star Destroyer.

Akane and Ukyou: Eeep.

Mousse: Do not worry, Princess. They can't fire at us in hyperspace.

Ukyou: Mousse, how long until we arrive at the Tokyo system?

Mousse: Uh...fifteen minutes.

Ukyou: We'll be forced to come out of hyperspace then.
(Mousse thinks for a moment.)

Mousse: I hadn't thought of that...But don't worry, Princess, I will
protect you!

Akane(sarcastically): I'm soooo reassured. (pauses.) All right,
let's get to the bridge. I not going to get kidnapped by
the Empire. Who knows what they'll force my father to do once they
have me?
(All three rush to the door. Mousse slams into the wall next to it,
and remains there until Ukyou comes back in and
peels him off the wall. She drags him along after Akane.)

Ukyou(muttering under her breath): Some protector, can't even see a
stupid wall...
(The scene shifts to a large room. It is filled with people rushing
from computer terminal to computer terminal. A door
opens in one of the walls, and a creature steps out onto a catwalk.
The catwalk stretches high over the room to a station
on a tower. The creature is a large panda wearing bits and pieces
of black armour. A large muzzle covers its mouth, which is connected
via a series of wires to a computer screen positioned above and behind
its head. The panda walks to the station and the two people sitting
there stand up and bow reverently. One is an old man in a typical
imperial admiral's uniform. The other is a young Japanese man. He has
a handsome, arrogant face, and is wearing black samurai robes, a light
sabre strapped to his side.)

Admiral: Lord Saotome, we have located Princess Akane's transport.
(The panda makes a series of growls and grunts. As it does this, words
print up on the computer screen.)

Saotome: Excellent, Admiral Harkov. How long until they arrive at the
Tokyo system?

Harkov: Fifteen minutes, Lord.

Saotome: Good. Prepare the tractor beams. I want the princess taken alive.

Harkov: Understood, my lord.
(Harkov sits down and begins to punch buttons on his control panel.
Saotome turns to the boy.)

Saotome: Kunou, prepare your stormtroopers to board the ship. We shall
soon realize my plan to unite the Rebellion and the Empire under my rule.

Kunou: Yes, honourable sensei.
(He bows, then straightens and walks down the catwalk and disappears from
the room.)

Saotome:[Yes, soon I will accomplish my goal.]
(He makes a few noises that sound like laughter, and the scene changes.
A view of space shows two large ships appear out of hyperspace. One is
Akane's Corvette, the other is the enormous wedge-shaped mass of an Imperial
Star Destroyer. The ships begin to exchange red, blue, and green blasts.
The Corvette is obviously outmatched and is rocking under the fire. After a
few minutes, the Corvette releases a group of Y-wings. These fighters look
like three tubes soldered together. In response, the Star Destroyer ejects
a squadron of fighters which look more like technological bow-ties than
anything else. The Y-wings are outnumbered and outgunned. They are soon
destroyed, at the cost of only one TIE fighter. Aboard the Corvette's
bridge, we see Akane and her two droids arguing with the captain.)

Captain: We can't survive much longer, Princess. We have to get you on a
shuttle and out of here.

Akane: I'm not leaving. Besides, it's safer on the Corvette than it would
be aboard a shuttle.
(There is a sudden boom and the bridge lurches to one side. Everyone
goes sprawling. One of the techs falls forward and strikes his head
against his terminal. Ukyou runs over tosses him out of the way. She
examines the read-outs on the terminal momentarily.)

Ukyou: They've locked their tractor beam on us. We'll be boarded soon.

Mousse: Hurry, Princess, we must get to the escape pods.
(He walks toward the front of the room with the captain in tow.)

Captain: Hey!
(Mousse looks at him.)

Mousse: You're not the Princess!

Captain: Of course I'm not!

Ukyou: I agree with Mousse. Let's get you to the escape pods.

Akane: Okay, okay. Let's go.
(The three of them run through the ship and soon come to a room.
Inside the room there are several hatches with the words "Emergency
Escape Pod" written above them. There is another lurch and all
three of them fall down.)

Akane: What was that?

Mousse: They've boarded the ship. It won't be long until they find us.
(Ukyou, meanwhile, has been pressing buttons on a terminal)

Ukyou: I've already prepped them for launch. Let's hurry.
(Suddenly, two men in white armour burst into the room.)

Stormtrooper 1: There they are!

Stormtrooper 2: Get them!
(Just then a long chain wraps around the first stormtrooper's neck.
He drops his blaster and gasps as Mousse swings him into the second
trooper. Both troopers collapse, unconscious, and Mousse retracts his
chain.)

Mousse: Hurry, Princess! I will hold them off!

Akane: No. (Both droids gape at her.) If I leave, I'll only be
followed and captured anyway. Instead, I'll send you two with a
message for my father. (We hear blaster fire in the distance.)
Come here Ukyou, and I'll give you the holo-message.

Ukyou: Akane, I don't think this is a good idea...

Akane(sternly): That's an order, Okono D-2.
(Ukyou reluctantly comes over. Akane quickly programs something into
a terminal which opens in Ukyou's stomach.)

Akane(finishing): Okay now, both of you into the pod.
(She points at the open hatch. Ukyou climbs, in stopping only to
glance worriedly back at Akane. Mousse refuses, and Akane finally has
to pick him up and throw him through the hatch. The hatch closes,
cutting off Mousse's protests. A moment later there is a whoosh and
the pod is gone.)

Akane: Now...
(She is interrupted as about two dozen stormtroopers come into the room.)

Various Stormtroopers: There....It's her....She's trying to escape....
Quick, before she gets away....
(One stormtrooper levels his blaster at her. He is about to fire at
her when another one bashes him over the head, knocking the idiot
senseless.)

Stormtrooper: You moron! We're supposed to take her alive!

Akane: _You_ take _me_? Don't make me laugh!
(She charges them.)

Stormtrooper: Get her!
(Akane leaps up and knocks one of them unconscious with a
dropkick. A second grabs at her, but she ducks and uppercuts
him away. Two men leap at her and she knocks them both out of
the air with side kicks. Another sneaks up from behind,
gripping his blaster like a baseball bat. Akane calmly
punches him in the face, smashing his mask into tiny pieces.
He flies back, taking three more troopers with him as he lands.
One by one or sometimes in pairs the rest fall to Akane's
superior skill. She grins as the last one collapses. She is
breathing shallowly, but suddenly sees a movement out of the
corner of her eye. Reflexively she pivots and catches the object
that had been thrown at her-a single red rose. As she stares at
it in surprise, a voice echos around the room.)

Voice: Ah, the tigress roars and fights,
But fears the justice of the light.
For everyone who does not do right,
Must fear my sword-arm's tremendous might.

Akane: Huh?
(As she looks around, a figure emerges from the hall. It is
Kunou, resplendent in black armour with a long, billowing
cape. In his right hand, he holds a blue-white light sabre.)

Kunou: She is lovely and she is fair,
In my eyes, her vision of youth doth flare,
Like a sun in death, with love wrought bare,
For beauteous is her shining hair.

Akane(irritated): What are you babbling about? And who are you?

Kunou: I, fair damsel, am the mighty Tatewaki Kunou, pupil of
the great Darth Saotome, heir to the power of the Empire and
your husband-to-be.
(Akane blinks, and then looks angry.)

Akane: Listen mister, I don't know who you think you are, but I'm
not about to marry you.

Kunou: Oh, but you shall, for my love for you is so great that it
transcends mere politics. Come away with me, and you shall be
truly happy at last.

Akane: Get lost you jerk, before I piledrive you into the floor.

Kunou: I see. It seems that someone has used foul powers to
enslave your mind. Do not fear, for I shall free you. Come
with me.

Akane(angry): Yeah, right!
(She charges him, but he easily sidesteps and pins her arms behind
her back.)

Akane(surprised): Hey!

Kunou: Forgive me, my fair princess.
(He snaps a pair on neural cuffs on her wrists and she falls as
the paralysis sets in. Kunou tosses her over his shoulder.)

Kunou: Come, we must away, so that my honourable sensei
may free your mind from whomever has dared to enslave it.
(He walks out. The scene shifts, and we see a tube-like object
flying into the atmosphere of a large brown planet. The
tube falls rapidly and blasts into the ground, sending up
a cloud of dust and sand. As the haze clears, we see the pod
buried about halfway into the ground. Its door shudders, but
remains closed. After a moment, it shudders again and opens
about an inch. We hear arguing inside, and then the door flies
out, to land several feet away. There is a large mace
embedded in it. Mousse steps out of the pod.)

Mousse: There...mechanical problem solved.
(Ukyou climbs out of the pod, looking irritated.)

Ukyou: We might have wanted to keep the pod in one piece,
you know.

Mousse: Why?

Ukyou: Because it might be our only way off this dustball, you
moron!

Mousse: Oh...sorry. (Ukyou snorts in disgust. Mousse looks
around.) My optic circuits must be going. I don't see
anything but sand.

Ukyou: They're not going, (under her breath)any more than
they already have, anyway...There's just sand, as far as my
optics can see.

Mousse: A desert world, then.
(Ukyou nods.)

Ukyou: All the planets in the Tokyo system are desert worlds.
There's no water for light years. We'd better just hope
we landed on one of the inhabited ones, or we may be stuck
here for quite a while.

Mousse(thoughtfully): How do settlers survive without water?

Ukyou: Hydro cubes, I would assume.

Mousse: Okay...what now?
(Ukyou scans the horizon for a moment, then points.)

Ukyou: Look, smoke!
(Mousse looks in the wrong direction.)

Mousse: Where?
(Ukyou sighs and turns so he is facing toward the thin stream
of black smoke that can be seen in the distance.)

Ukyou: Over there, Mousse.

Mousse(suspiciously): I don't see anything.

Ukyou: That's no surprise. Come on, let's go. You'll just
have to trust me if you want to have a chance of escaping.
(Ukyou leads Mousse down a small hill and into a chasm.
They walk along the bottom of it for a few minutes. We see
several small shadowy forms, unseen by the two droids, also
scrambling along the sides and top of the cliff.)

Ukyou: Geez, this place is deserte...(she is cut off by a
shrill scream, as the creatures suddenly emerge from the
shadows.) Mousse! We're under attack!
(As Ukyou says this, her spatula extends until it is about
three feet long, and she quickly uses it to knock one of the
creatures unconscious.)

Mousse: Where? (He turns away from the creatures.) Aha!
(He spots a group of boulders and launches several chains.
They wrap around the rocks.) Got you!

Ukyou: They're over here, you idiot!
(She knocks another into orbit with her spatula, but the
creatures are beginning to push her back, swinging tiny glowing
rods.)

Mousse: Huh?
(Mousse whips about, miraculously getting the direction right.
However, by either accident or design he did not unhook
his chains. The boulders are ripped from the ground, and
go crashing into the creatures, who are knocked away like
bowling pins. Ukyou and Mousse begin to make quick work of
the remaining creatures. However, one, who had been
concealed by a rock, steps out from behind them. It pulls
out a rifle that is tipped with a small circular plate. It
pulls the trigger, and the plate flies out, adhering itself
to Ukyou's back.)

Ukyou: What thAAAAAAAAAAA!
(Several megavolts of power flash fry her system, and she
collapses face-first into the dirt.)

Mousse: Ukyou!
(Mousse is angry now, and begins to fling a horde of weapons
in every direction. The creatures are mown down and those
that can still walk are fleeing in panic. One of them crawls
up the cliff, and hides behind a large rock. It suddenly
gets an idea and begins to push on the rock. Other creatures
scamper over and help it. Mousse hears the groan of the
rock giving way and looks up, seeing a blurry shape descending
towards him.)

Mousse: Huh. What a pathetic sneak attack.
(With a contemptuous flick, Mousse sends two spears flying at
it. They score direct hits-but do little to stop the boulder,
which crashes into Mousse's head with a clang. Mousse wobbles
around for a moment, and then collapses next to Ukyou. The
remaining creatures emerge and start chattering excitedly in
brrrs and clicks. They rush about, collect the fallen droids
and their injured comrades, and then march off. The scene
cuts to a small igloo-shaped hut. The hut is bright white,
and is perched on the edge of a small cliff. The cliff over-
looks a small garden, which appears to be thriving in the
shade. Two droids that look like pick-axes with legs waddle
about in the garden. A speeder is parked to one side of the
hut, and we can see someone's legs poking out from underneath
it. Near the foreground, we see a boy in a white gi. He has
a handsome face, with a head of black hair that is pulled back
in a ponytail He is doing complex katas. We hear a woman's
voice emanate from under the speeder.)

Voice: Ranma, come here.
(The boy leaps down from the rock and runs over to the speeder.)

Ranma: Yes, Mom?
(A woman climbs out from under the speeder. She is appears to
be in her thirties, and is rather pretty. Her features are
not unlike Ranma's, and she has medium-length brown hair.)

Woman: Could you give me a hand here? The anti-gravs went again,
and I need the speeder to get to town.

Ranma(protesting): Mom, I was sort of busy.

Woman: Yes, I know. But it's about time you started to learn
some practical skills instead of putting all your effort into
this Jedi Ninja nonsense.

Ranma: But I want to be a Jedi! It's a lot more interesting
than being a farmer.

Woman: Ranma, you do not choose to be a Jedi, the Force
chooses you. You have to accept that which you can not
change. You will be a farmer.

Ranma: You are...er...were a Jedi.

Woman: Yes, but just because I was one doesn't mean you will
be. Besides, there is no more room in the universe for
Jedi. That is why I gave it up and took up farming.

Ranma: But I'm the best fighter on the planet! I beat every-
one at the tournament last year!

Woman(sighs): Ranma, I'm not going to go through this again.
Trust me. You aren't a Jedi, and you don't want to be one.
(We hear a male voice.)

Voice: Nodoka!
(A man walks into the camp. He has on a bright green gi and
a pair of thin glasses. His face is boyishly good-looking.
He spots Ranma and his mother, and comes over.)

Man: Is Ranma pestering you about the Jedi again?

Nodoka: Hai. It is good to see you, Tofu-wan.

Ranma(bowing): Tofu-sensei.

Tofu: Stop that, Ranma. If your mother does not want you to
train as a Jedi, then I will not train you.

Ranma: Hmph!
(He turns away. Nodoka shakes her head.)

Nodoka: It's been a long time, Tofu, about a...(her voice
trails off.)

Tofu: Month.
(Nodoka whistles.)

Nodoka: A month! I could have sworn it was only a week...
Where have you been?
(In the meantime, Ranma wanders over to the speeder, picks
up a tool and begins to fiddle with one of the jet pods.)

Tofu: Here and there. Just doing my job, treating the sick
and injured. A recent outbreak of Calamari fever has kept me
on my toes. (He glances over at Ranma, who is out of earshot.)
He won't give up on this Jedi thing, will he?

Nodoka: No. He's practically obsessed with his quest to
become a Jedi Ninja. I try to tell him that he's wasting his
time, but...

Tofu: I know. The Force is strong with him. Stronger than
it is with you or me.

Nodoka: I'm beginning to run out of excuses, and I'm not
even sure if I should even keep trying. He is skilled, and
powerful as well. Not to mention brash, overconfident, and
violent... (she sighs.) He reminds me so much of his father.

Tofu: That's what worries you, isn't it?

Nodoka(quietly): Yes.
(At this point, Ranma closes a small hatch on the side of
the speeder and tosses the tool into a box.)

Ranma(shouting): It's fixed!
(Nodoka looks surprised, and then walks over to the speeder.)

Nodoka: What?

Ranma: The speeder's fixed. The tank just needed cleaning,
that was all.

Nodoka(dubiously): Oh?

Ranma: Watch. (He jumps into the drivers seat.) Stand back.
(She does, and surely enough the speeder smoothly hovers up
off the ground. After a moment, Ranma shuts off the speeder,
and it floats down again.)

Nodoka: Impressive.

Ranma: Aww, it was nothing. Now, can I get back to my
training?
(Nodoka mutely nods, and Ranma leaps back onto the rock.
Before he can restart his katas, however, his gaze is drawn
to an approaching dust cloud. He watches it for a moment,
and then calls the two adult's attention to it. Tofu looks
at it, shielding his eyes from the sun.)

Tofu: Sandcrawler.

Nodoka(brightening): Good. We need a new harvester droid.

Ranma: Hey, I still got some money left from the tournament
prize. I think I'll buy something, I've got nothing better
to do with it.

Nodoka: Ranma...
(However, Ranma has already entered the hut. Tofu and Nodoka
exchange glances.)

Tofu: Rash.

Nodoka: Yes.
(After a moment, Ranma comes out just as the sandcrawler pulls
up. He waits impatiently until the "special" droids are
unloaded, and then scans up and down the line. After a minute
or so, he stops by a slightly scorched droid which would
have looked exactly like a human girl, if it wasn't for her
metallic skin and the spatula attached to her arm. He lifts the
head, which lolls forward; her eyes seem to be glazed over.)

Ranma: Cool, an Okono unit. I haven't had one of these in twelve
years.
(Nodoka walks by, harvester droid in tow.)

Nodoka: Then buy it.

Ranma: I'll do that.
(He begins to haggle with one of the tiny creatures. However,
he is interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. He
turns and sees another droid. It is an almost perfect replica
of a human boy with glasses-save for the large dent on his
head and metallic colour.)

Ranma: Yes?

Mousse: Excuse me, sir. The Okono unit and I are partners. It
would be cruel of you to separate us.

Ranma: So? I don't want you. I don't even know what kind of
droid you are. (Mousse blinks in surprise as Ranma turns back
to the little creature.) How 'bout a thousand credits worth of
Rumium?
(The creature hesitates a moment, and then nods. Ranma grabs
Ukyou and hands the creature some tiny metal bars. Ranma
begins to walk off as some of the creatures pick up Mousse.)

Mousse: No! Wait! (They drag him up the sandcrawler's ramp.)
This isn't how it's supposed to happen! You have to take
both of us! No! Help! No!
(The sandcrawler's door closes, cutting off Mousse' protests.)

Ranma: I wonder what happened to this droid. (shrugs.) Oh
well, the robodoc'll fix her.
(He walks away. The scene switches, and it is now evening at
the Skywalker hut. Two moons hover in the sky, above a garage-
like building. Inside, we see Ukyou laying face-down on a
slab. A med-droid hovers over her. He is manipulating
something on the back of her head, but her "hair" obscures the
view. On the opposite side of the room, Ranma is balancing by
one foot on a pole. His eyes are covered by a scarf and a
tiny sphere is floating around him. Every now and then, the
ball will stop and silently flash. Every time this happens,
Ranma will unerringly lash out with his foot and strike it.
After a few minutes of this, the med-droid stands up.)

Med-droid(mechanical monotone): The-Okono-unit-is-repaired-
and-ready-for-reactivation.

Ranma: End program.
(He leaps to the ground and removes the scarf, tossing it on the
sphere.)

Sphere(muffled monotone): You-have-scored-a-100-percent-success-
ratio.

Ranma(snorts): I can do better than that. (Walks over to Ukyou.)
Okay, let's boot'er up.
(The med-droid reaches out and tops something on Ukyou's back.
She shudders, than groans and rolls over. Her eyes are closed
and face looks tired.)

Ranma: Hello...
(Ukyou's eyes snap open, and she jumps to her feet, spatula
extending to battle length. She waves it in front of her and
growls menacingly. Ranma leaps back with a yelp.)

Ranma: Hey, what kind of crazy droid are you?!
(Ukyou stops, blinks, and then recognition dawns on her face.
She retracts her spatula and jumps up and down, cooing
in joy. Ranma stares at her, dumbfounded. She suddenly stops
and glomps onto Ranma.)

Ukyou: RANCHAN!

Ranma:....
(Apparently he is having trouble replying. Perhaps Ukyou
crushing his ribcage has something to do with it.)

Ukyou: My darling Ranchan! We've been reunited after all
this time!

Ranma:....
(He is turning blue.)

Ukyou: I thought you were dead, Ranchan! I was so crushed!
(Speaking of crushed, Ranma has turned some interesting
shades; purple, yellow, polka dot, plaid.)

Ukyou: My beloved! I'll never leave your side again!
(Ranma's eyes roll back in his head and his head lolls to
the side, tongue hanging out.)

Ukyou: Ranchan! Ranchan!...Ranchan? (She notices his
condition.) Ranchan? (She shakes him a bit, his head lolls to
the other side.) Ranchan?!? (She looks worried.) Ranchan!
(She drops him on the floor.) Breathe, Ranchan, breathe!
(She smashes him in the chest in an impersonation of CPR.)

Ranma: Aagh!
(He folds up around the fist, but collapses again.)

Ukyou: Ranchan! [I can't let you die! Not when we've just
found each other again.]
(She begins CPR in earnest, lingering a _bit_ longer on the
oral part than necessary. After the third time, Ranma's eyes
snap open. He looks at the droid-who is busily breathing in
his mouth. With a cry he flings her off of him. He jumps to
his feet and assumes a defensive stance.)

Ranma: Get away from me, you crazy droid!

Ukyou(hurt): You don't remember me!

Ranma(surprised): Of course I don't remember you! I've never
seen you before in my life! I'm sure of that because I
would remember a crazy droid like you!

Ukyou: But Ranchan, it's me, Ucchan!

Ranma: I don't know any...who?

Ukyou: Ucchan! Your old droid Ucchan!

Ranma: Ucchan? But that's impossible! Ucchan was a...

Ukyou: Boy. Yes, I know. After your ...father(she hisses the
word with loathing) sold me, I was bought by a rich family
to be their daughter's companion. Her father decided to
rebuild me as a girl so she would relate to me more easily.

Ranma: Okay...I can understand that.

Ukyou: Yes, but now fate thrown us together again darling!
(She tries to glomp him again, but he dodges.)

Ranma: What's all this "darling" stuff? Sure, we were friends,
but you never called me darling.

Ukyou: They think it's something wrong with my programming,
but I know it isn't. It's love, Ranchan, true love!

Ranma: Love?!? But...you're a droid! You can't love me!

Ukyou: But can't you see? That proves it was meant to be!
If I, a droid, can fall in love with you, than our love
transcends all natural laws! Oh Ranchan, it's so romantic!
(Her eyes sparkle and shine, and she stands in a "star-struck
lover" pose.)

Ranma: Uh...wait a sec...
(He is interrupted by the sound of the door banging open.
They both look, and see the droid from the lineup. It appears
much the same as before, save that the dent on his head is
gone, and he has a fresh burn mark on his shoulder. He raises
his arm and points a shaking finger at Ranma.)

Mousse: YOUUU!

Ukyou: Hi, Mousse.

Ranma: What are you doing here? I didn't buy you. I thought
they took you.

Mousse: They did! I was forced to fight my way out and come
back across the desert unaided! Now I'll kill you for what
you have put me through!

Ukyou: What's this?

Ranma: I haven't the slightest idea.

Mousse: Enough talk! Prepare to die, human!
(Mousse flings himself at Ranma, sending a stream of chained,
cabled, and stringed objects at him. Ranma frantically
dodges the hurricane of weapons. Mousse begins to chase
Ranma around the room, hurling an assortment of weapons at
him, from knives and bolas to plastic dinosaur models and
portraits of famous authors. Ranma dodges it all with ease
but is unable to get in close enough to fight back. Finally,
Ranma lures Mousse until the droid is standing underneath a
rack of spare parts. With a yell Ranma grabs the training
drone and hurls it up with all his might. Through some
combination of luck and skill he manages to hit the release
lever. At that moment, Mousse suddenly sprouts a variety of
blades from every part of his body, looking like an insane
porcupine.)

Mousse: Now you are... (The rack screeches, and he looks up.)
Oh, man...
(The two ton pile of electronic equipment cascades onto him.
Just then, Nodoka walks in.)

Nodoka: Ranma, if you're done with you're done with your
droid, it's time to...to...uh...
(She stops, staring at the scene before her. Ranma is
standing on top of the huge pile of junk. One foot is
planted firmly on Mousse's head, squashing the hapless
droid's face into the heap. Mousse is whirling his arms
about in a vain attempt to rip Ranma apart. At the same
time, the rest of Ranma's appendages are holding back Ukyou,
who is struggling to glomp onto Ranma while she coos about
his injuries. Ranma smiles thinly, with a hint of mania in
his eyes.)

Ranma: Hi, mom. (He chuckles.) I'm a little busy right now,
could you please come back later, after I've tidied up a bit?

Nodoka: Uh...sure, I guess...
(The scene cuts to a view of space. The Imperial Star
Destroyer floats leisurely into view. The camera zooms inside,
and we see Darth Saotome, kneeling before a shadowy form in a
holo-projector. All of the shadowy figures features are
blurred and distorted by distance, so that only an impression
of age and unspeakable evil are evident.)

Image(voice is distorted by static): Well, my pupil, how goes
our plan?

Saotome(printout): All proceeds according to plan, my lord Emperor.

Emperor: Excellent. And my...shipment?

Saotome: I have stripped another world of its most precious
resource, Emperor. It is being sent through hyperspace
even as we speak.

Emperor: Good. By the way, my student, I have discovered
something in the Force which may interest you.

Saotome: Yes?

Emperor: Three people will come into the power of the Force in the
near future.

Saotome(printout fills the screen): WHAT?!?

Emperor: I do not know where or whom, but I want these new
recruits. Bring them to me, so that my greatest quest
may be accomplished.

Saotome: Just as I brought you Kunou, so shall I bring you these
newcomers.

Emperor: Do _not_ fail me.
(The holo-field shuts down. The panda looks at it for a long
moment, then rises to his feet.)

Saotome: [Do not worry, "Emperor". After I have taken these
children, you will never have anything to worry about again.]
(Deep inside the Imperial Star Destroyer, we see a typical
Imperial stockade. One of the doors are open, and we hear
shouting from inside. Suddenly, an officer flies out the door.
He lands in a heap, a badly beaten interrogation droid
embedded in his chest. Seconds later, another officer is
hurled out of the room. He crashes beside the first. Princess
Akane walks out of the cell. She is still wearing her gi, and
looks _pissed_.)

Akane: And stay out!
(A dozen or so stormtroopers are there. They nervously exchange
glances, then reluctantly level their guns at her. She growls
at them and they drop their weapons and flee down the hall.
Akane stalks back into the cell and slams the door. Admiral
Harkov, who has been standing further down the hall with Kunou,
sighs exasperatedly.)

Harkov: That's the fourth team she's clobbered.

Kunou: Hmph. I have told you, Admiral, that mere technological
toys will not heal her of this curse. Only the power of my
love (dramatic stance) and the death of the fiend who enslaves
her heart will free her soul!

Harkov: Uh...yeah...sure...whatever.
(The stormtroopers venture back into the hallway cautiously,
see that the coast is clear, and begin collecting their fallen
officers.)

Kunou: If only I had time to seek out the foul wretch...but nay,
I must remain to assist my sensei.
(There is a beeping noise. Kunou turns to a screen on the wall
and activates it. Darth Saotome appears.)

Kunou: Ah, honourable Saotome-sensei, we were just speaking of you.

Saotome(printout): I'm sure. Listen up, Kunou. I have a mission
for you.

Kunou: I am at your command. (Bows.)

Saotome: I need you to find several people for me.

Kunou: Whom?

Saotome: Three people who will exhibit powers of the Force.

Kunou: At once, my lord. [Could one of these people be the
cad who has enslaved fair Akane? Of course! Only one of
the warriors of the Dark Side could suppress her love for me!]
I shall take the Blue Thunder and search the far corners of
the galaxy for these people.

Saotome: Try the centre, too.

Kunou: Hai.
(Scene cuts back to the hut. There is a large, round table
in the centre of the room. At one end, Tofu and Nodoka sit.
Ranma is sitting to his mother's right, watching Ukyou and
Mousse apprehensively. The two droids sit at the other end,
calm expressions on their metallic faces.)

Tofu: Okay, let's get this straight. You (he points at Ukyou)
are their (he points at Ranma and Nodoka) old Okono droid,
then called Ucchan.

Ukyou: Hai.

Tofu: And by some accident of technology or fate you fell in
love with him. (points at Ranma.)

Ukyou: Hai.

Tofu: However, his father (Ukyou growls softly and Nodoka
winces) sold you before you could gather the courage to
tell Ranma.

Ukyou(angrily): Right.

Tofu: And then you were purchased by a family, who rebuilt
you as a girl so their daughter could relate to you.

Ukyou: Hai.

Tofu: And you think fate has reunited you with Ranma so
you can be together.

Ukyou(dreamy voice): I don't think it, I know it!

Tofu: Uh-huh. (He turns to Mousse.) And you want to kill
Ranma because he didn't buy you.

Mousse(to a picture on the wall): Not any more. I was
merely angered earlier. I no longer have any desire to harm
Ranma.

Ukyou: Good. Because if you did, I'd have to kill you.

Nodoka: No problem there, then. By the way Mousse, I'm not
familiar with your model.
(Mousse turns to a potted plant.)

Mousse: I'm not surprised. I am a prototype of the
NoCP0 hidden weapon combat droid. My kind are being developed
for use in the Rebellion, but there are still some glitches
to be worked out in the optical circuits.

Nodoka: So I see. Okay, now there is still something I'd
like to know. What exactly are you two doing here?

Ukyou(surprised): Oh my! I almost forgot, in the excitement
of being reunited with Ranchan and all...we are droids in
the service of Princess Akane Tendo.

Tofu: Princess Akane? The daughter of King Soun of Dojo?

Ukyou: Yes, there aren't all that many Princess Akanes.
At any rate, she was on her way here to marry someone named
Skywalker and...
(She stops, looking slightly confused as Ranma, Nodoka, and
Tofu stare at her. Mousse is staring at an ornamental vase.)

Ranma: Ukyou, what was that name again?

Ukyou: Skywalker, and as I was saying...

Nodoka: Ukyou.

Ukyou(slightly peeved): Yes?

Nodoka: Do you remember our last name?

Ukyou: I suppose. It was not really necessary before, so
I didn't store it in my frontal memory banks. Just a second.
(She pauses, and her eyes become distant. After a moment,
she returns to normal, a slightly frightened expression on
her face.) Oh no. You are...

Nodoka: Ranma and Nodoka Skywalker.

Ukyou: There aren't any other Skywalkers in this system?
(Tofu shakes his head.)

Tofu: I'm afraid not.

Ukyou: And you're related to the royal family of Nerima?

Nodoka: Very, very distantly, but yes.

Ukyou: Oh no!

Ranma: You mean I'm engaged to this princess?

Tofu: It appears that way. If the deal was made between
the royal houses that a daughter of one house and a son of the
other should be married, than it is legally binding that you,
as the oldest living male heir, will marry her.

Ranma: I don't care. I'm not marrying some person I haven't
even met!

Nodoka: It's the law, Ranma. Besides, she's a princess.

Ranma: Who cares? Even if she is a princess, I'm not
marrying a girl I've never even seen.

Nodoka: We'll get back to this later. Ukyou, please continue.

Ukyou(petulantly): Well...okay. Well, Princess Akane was
on her way here to marry...Ranma, when an Imperial Star
Destroyer caught up with us and captured her. Akane barely
managed to send us away in an escape pod, with a message
for her father. We landed here and...well, you know the rest.

Nodoka: I see.

Ranma: Oh well. Guess I don't have to marry her after all.

Tofu: Not so fast, boy. (To Ukyou.) Show us this message.
(Ukyou frowns, but obediently goes into her faraway look.
After a moment, a tiny image appears on the table. It is
Princess Akane.)

Akane: To whoever is watching this message, I am Princess
Akane Tendo of the planet Dojo. I have been captured by
imperial forces, and I ask you to bring this droid to my
father, King Soun Tendo of Dojo. You will be rewarded
handsomely. I would like you to turn off the message now.
(She pauses for a few seconds.) Father, I need your help.
Do not comply with any of Darth Saotome's(both Tofu and
Nodoka wince, but no one notices) demands. I want you to
rescue me, but do not give into that slime. I love you,
father...goodbye.
(The image disappears, and Ukyou comes back to normal.)

Ukyou: That's all.

Nodoka: Okay, everyone, let's pack up.

Ranma: Why?

Nodoka: We are going to Dojo to deliver this message. Then
we are going to rescue the princess.

Ranma: What!?!

Nodoka: I thought I spoke clearly.

Ranma: I heard you, but...mom, have you lost your mind?

Tofu: I don't think your mother has lost her mind, Ranma.
In fact, I think she and I have just regained ours. We are
Jedi (Mousse and Ukyou look at him in shock.), and it's
time we stopped hiding. It is our responsibility to save the
princess.
(Ranma looks disgusted for a moment, and then smiles slyly.)

Ranma: Well, you said I'm not a Jedi, so I guess I'll stay here.

Nodoka: Ranma...(sighs) If you help us, I'll...I will train
you in the ways of the Jedi.

Ranma: You promise?

Nodoka(reluctantly): Yes.

Ranma: All right! Let's get going, then.

Mousse: How will we get off this planet? And when we do, how
will we find the princess?

Nodoka: Tomorrow we will go into town and purchase transport
to Dojo. Once there, I am sure King Soun can help us find
Princess Akane.
(Ranma stands up, yawns, and stretches.)

Ranma: Right. See you tomorrow, mom.
(He starts walking to his room. Ukyou gets up to follow,
and he turns back.)

Ranma: Ucchan, where are you going?

Ukyou(cheerfully): To your room, silly.

Ranma(uncomfortable): Uh...no...that's okay, Ukyou.

Ukyou(pouting): But I always used to sleep in your room before...
(Ranma has a flashback of Ukyou glomping him.)

Ranma: Uh...well, I'm bigger now, Ucchan. I don't need a
companion at bedtime anymore.

Ukyou(still pouting): Okay.

Tofu(under breath, to Nodoka): We're going to have to do
something about that.

Nodoka(also under breath): Yes, and soon.

(We see the planet spinning slowly through space. Its two
moons orbit slowly about the sphere. As we watch, a large
ship appears out of hyperspace. It is unusual in that it
looks like a gigantic sword. Its drive section make up the
rectangular "handle", which leads into a giant, disk-like
bulge and then on to a long, narrow fore section, tapering
to a point. A flight of TIE Fighters, Bombers, and
Interceptors emerge from the bulge and surround the ship. As
we watch, a space hatch opens and an Imperial Shuttle float
out. Its wings unfold, and with an escort of Gunboats, it
descends toward the planet's surface. Inside the shuttle,
we see Kunou and a brigade of stormtroopers. With them is a
small, almost rat-like man, who is in the uniform of a general
in the imperial army.)

Kunou: General Sasuke, I want you to make sure that you
triple this lot of stormtroopers before we begin the assault.

Sasuke: Yes, Master Kunou.

Kunou: And secure all the ships at this spaceport.
Whatever those cads wanted in this system, I shall find it!

Sasuke: Yes. Is there anything else?
(Kunou thinks for a moment.)

Kunou: Study the list of known offenders to the Empire.
If you locate any, inform me at once.

Sasuke: Yes, Master Kunou.

(The scene changes, and we see the sun rising over a
breathtaking desert vista. In the distance, we see a speeder
rapidly approaching. As it gets close, we see Ranma & Co.
seated within. Nodoka is driving, with Tofu in shotgun. The
large back seat is occupied by Ranma on the left with Ukyou
sitting next to him. She has her hand on his leg, and every now
and then he glances down at it with a trapped look. Mousse
sits on the right, taking potshots at passing rocks with tiny
darts-to his credit, he only misses twice.)

Ranma: Er...Ucchan...

Ukyou(dreamy voice): Yes, Ranma?

Ranma: Could you please get your hand off my thigh?
(Ukyou pulls her hand off and looks at it in surprise.)

Ukyou: I didn't even realize it was there! Don't worry,
Ranchan, I'll keep it off your leg from now on.
(She sits back and places her hand on his leg. Ranma sighs.)

Ranma: Never mind...
(Just then, a town comes into view. It looks like a mixup
of a shanty town and a gleaming metal supercity. All of the
buildings save one are low, one story structures. This
larger building is roughly dome-shaped, and sports a sign that
is barely visible at this distance. Abruptly, Nodoka stops
the speeder as she spots something above the building.)

Tofu: What is it?
(Nodoka points; everyone follows her finger-except Mousse,
who is staring back into the desert. Ukyou gasps and
draws in air with a hiss.)

Ukyou: Imperial Gunboats!

Tofu: The Empire has captured the town? Why?

Mousse: They must have figured out that the Princess sent
us here. They want us for some reason. Perhaps they think
we're holding information.

Tofu: For whatever reason, they hold the town. We won't
be able to get anything here. We'd best turn back.

Ranma: Not necessarily.

Nodoka: What is it, son?

Ranma: I know a place in town the imperials most likely
haven't discovered yet. It's a hangout for pirates,
mercenaries, and rogues. They have a fight every Friday
that...I...
(Ranma trails off as he notices his mother's raised eyebrow.)

Nodoka(ominously): We'll discuss this later, son. Are
you saying we could book passage there? (Ranma nods.)
Where is it?

Ranma: It's near the centre of town. We'll have to sneak
past the guards to get there.
(Nodoka turns to look at Tofu.)

Nodoka: I'm a little rusty...

Tofu: No problem. I've been dulling people's sense of touch
long enough, sight and hearing will be easy in comparison.
(Ukyou and Mousse look at her curiously.)

Ukyou: You mean you really are Jedi Ninjas? I thought you
were kidding! I always thought the Force was a fairy tale,
like magic.

Nodoka: Believe me, Ukyou, the Force is not a fairy tale.
For that matter neither is magic, but that is unimportant
right now.

Mousse: Interesting.

Tofu; Okay. Nodoka, take us in, but slowly. I haven't
worked with so many people in a long time.
(Nodoka nods, and slowly drives the speeder into the
city. Ukyou looks about her in apprehension, but calms
slightly as they pass the first two groups of stormtroopers
without incident. She looks over at Tofu, who has his
fingers pressed to his temples and is visibly sweating.)

Ukyou(whispers to Ranma): Ran-chan, what's he doing?

Ranma(whispers back): It's a Jedi trick I've read about.
He's blocking their senses so that they can't perceive us.
It's a very difficult process.

Nodoka(whispers): And you aren't helping it by talking,
children.
(Both fall guiltily silent.)

Nodoka(whispers): Now show us this cantena.
(The scene shifts to a smoky, dimly lit room. Creatures of
various species and sexes roam about in unusual dress. In
one corner, a strange blue-black squid alien warbles techno-
music in front of a karaoke machine. In another corner, a
table stands in a shadowy alcove. On opposite sides of it
sit two figures. One is a fish-like humanoid, with a tiny
microphone suspended in front of its mouth. The other is a
human boy, about 16 or 17. He is wearing a yellow vest and
green pants, and is good looking, in a rugged way. His
unruly black hair is held up by a yellow and black bandanna.
He places a briefcase on the table.)

Boy: As promised, 300 bars of legal weight duranium.
(He pops the case, and we see a lot of silvery bars. The
creature speaks. When it blurbles into the microphone,
translated words come out.)

Creature: Excellent. The reputation of Ryouga Solo for
reliability-if not punctuality-is well-founded.

Ryouga(defensively): Well, I had a _little_ trouble finding
this place. Now, about my payment...
(Ryouga stops short, for some reason. Perhaps it has some-
thing to do with the blaster being pointed at his face. The
creature blurbles with laughter.)

Creature: There will be no payment, Solo...at least not for
you. Hut will pay me handsomely for your hide.

Ryouga: Hey, I was going to pay Hut back. I just never got
a chance. Hut keeps moving that base...
(During this, Ryouga has reached down and grasped a small
rod. It looks like the handle of a lightsabre, but is slightly
different.)

Creature: You should have thought of that before. Nobody
cheats Hut and gets awaAAAAAUGH!
(The creature screams and flies away as there is a flash of
light under the table. It begins to get up as Ryouga pulls
something up through the table-smashing it to pieces in the
process. The object resembles a lightsabre, but is shaped
somewhat...differently. It has a short, thin part, which
abruptly thickens to several times as wide, then tapers back
to it's beginning thickness.)

Creature: You'll pay for that, Solo...
(It begins to advance, but is knocked unconscious as Ryouga
smashes it over the head with his unusual weapon.)

Ryouga: Well, that's...
(He stops as an alien at another table jumps up with a blaster.
Ryouga turns toward it and points his weapon like an arrow at
the alien. As the creature pulls the trigger, so does Ryouga.
Suddenly, Ryouga's weapon remolds itself into a completely
different shape. It is still as long, but now is a uniform
thickness until the end, where it thickens into a large
circular portion. The blaster bolt ricochet into the alien,
who spins around and falls with a thud. Ryouga calmly
deactivates his weapon and walks over to the bar, reaching it
after a few side trips to the stage, the bathroom, the
gambling tables, and Mars. As he finally finds it and sits
down, a group enters the cantena. It's Ranma&Co. A large
gorilla-like creature stops them.)

Gorilla: Waid a sec', wuhz da pazz...oh hi, Ranma. Whuz youse
doin' here so oily? De toinament doon stard til' twev.

Ranma(uncomfortably aware of Nodoka's gaze): Uh, just stopped
by with some friends, Gono.
(Gono eyes the group and then glares at Ranma.)

Gono: Hey Ranma, you know da rools. No doids permet...perset...
alawed.
(The group exchanges worried glances, but Mousse suddenly steps
up to the gorilla-alien.)

Mousse: What's this about no droids?

Gono: Likes I say, no doids alawed. Now skidadel.
(Mousse smiles.)

Mousse: That's what I thought you said.
(Suddenly a boxer's glove on a spring pops out of Mousse's chest
and knocks Gono back. The gorilla-alien grunts and falls down.
Mousse brings a large mallet-which has replaced his left hand-
down solidly on Gono's head. The gorilla falls down,
unconscious. Mousse bows fluidly to the stage and motions towards
the door.)

Mousse: After you.
(Ukyou sighs and turns him in the right direction. The group
enters the cantena and walk up to an unoccupied table.
Nodoka and the two droids sit down. When Ranma makes motions
to do likewise, Nodoka stops him with a glance.)

Nodoka: Since my son is _so_ well known here...

Ranma(nervously): Er...ah...heh heh...

Nodoka: ...He and Tofu Wan will see if they can find us a ship.
(Ranma and Tofu walk over to the bar. They sit in the only
available stools, next to Ryouga. The bartender-an older
human man-comes up to them.)

Bartender: Hey, Ranma! Good to see you. The usual?

Ranma: Sur...(looks at Tofu)...uh...no thanks. Just some hydro
cubes.

Bartender: No prob. What ya doing here so early?

Ranma: I'm looking for a ship. Anything, as long as it can get
us out of this system.
(Ryouga looks over.)

Ryouga: Did I hear right? You want a ship?

Ranma: Yeah.

Ryouga: No surprise. Imperial activity got you...(stops.)
Do I know you? You look vaguely familiar.

Ranma: I don't think so.
(Ryouga stares at Ranma for a moment, then stops and shrugs.)

Ryouga: Where you going?
(Ranma glances a Tofu, who nods.)

Ranma(low voice): Dojo.

Ryouga: Hmm, all right. I'll take you, but it'll cost you.

Ranma: How much?
(Ryouga thinks for a moment.)

Ryouga: Five million galactic credits.

Ranma: FIVE MILLION?!? What do you take us for?

Ryouga: Rebels. Rebels who want me to run an Imperial blockade
and take them to one of the hardest to find planets in
the universe, whose location is so secret only a few people
know it. No, what do you take _me_ for?
(Ranma looks like he is about to argue, but Tofu cuts in.)

Tofu: We'll pay. Half now, half upon safe arrival.
(Ryouga nods and finishes his drink.)

Ryouga: How many in your party?

Tofu: Three humans and two droids.
(Ryouga does some quick calculations.)

Ryouga: That makes five. Fine, we leave now.

Ranma: Okay. Where's your ship?

Ryouga: In storage. Gather up your friends and we'll head to
it.
(The three get up and walk over to the table. They pick up
the others and leave. Unseen by them, a figure who had
been watching them from the shadows walks over to the bar.
It is General Sasuke. He quickly consults a datapad and
looks up at the door.)

Sasuke: Yes, it's Ryouga Solo! I must tell master Kunou.
(He darts from the room. We see the inside of a hangar.
Everything appears normal, save for the unusual, roughly disk-
shaped ship in the centre. The ship looks like it was glued
together by a three year old. A small pilot's compartment
sticks out of its side, and there is a wedge-shaped portion
cut from the front. On the right side, there is a ramp leading
into the ship. Upon this ramp stands a man, who is busily
welding a something on the hull. He appears to be about 19
or 20, and has handsome, if somewhat pretty features. He is
wearing a blue scaled vest, cut off at the arms, and on his
forearms are metal bracers. After a moment, he stops and
wipes his brow.)

Man: Whew, that's hot work.
(He looks around as he hears voices in the distance. After a
moment, they become distinguishable.)

Ranma(irritated): Where was that ship of yours again?

Ryouga: I told you, it's in a hangar just ahead.

Ranma: You've said that a lot, and so far you've managed to
take us back to my house, a circus, Wal-Mart, the Imperial
barracks, back to the cantena, up Mount Fuji, on a visit to
your old friend Lum (the group enters at this point, and the
man cocks an eyebrow), half-way to the sun, up that man's no...

Ryouga(interrupts): Ah-hah! I told you so! This is it, the
Hibiki Falcon!
(The group looks at the ship, then at the hangar, then at
the man, then at Ryouga.)

Ranma: Okay, so you finally did get us here.

Ryouga:(to the man) Tarou, come here. We've got passengers.

Tarou(grunts): Fine.
(He walks over, a bored expression on his face.)

Ryouga: This is my partner Tarou, he's a great co-pilot
and real handy in a fight...

Ranma: We're not buying him.

Ryouga: Uh...right. (To Tarou.) These are our passengers.
Ranma Skywalker, his mother Nodoka, Tofu Wan Kanobi and
their droids, Ukyou and Mousse.
(Tarou inclines his head slightly.)

Tarou: Charmed. Where are they going?

Ryouga: Dojo.
(Tarou looks surprised, and then his eyes narrow.)

Tarou: Rebels?

Nodoka: Not quite.
(Tarou ignores her and looks at Ryouga.)

Tarou: The hyperdrive's fixed. We can leave as soon as we...
(He is cut off by an explosion from down the hall the group
came from. Ukyou runs over to the door and looks out.)

Ukyou: Stormtroopers!

Ryouga: How'd they find this place?

Ranma: A lot easier than _you_ did, I'd imagine...
(At that point, three squads of stormtroopers burst into the
room. Ryouga snatches up his unusual weapon and clicks it
into shield mode. He manages to deflect most of the first
shots, the rest fly wild.)

Ryouga: Get in the ship!
(He pulls out a blaster, which has a wider-than usual head.
He pulls the trigger, and it unleashes a spray of spinning
black and yellow disks that look oddly like his bandanna. They
all strike, throwing stormtroopers back.)

Mousse: Run away? From _stormtroopers_? You must be kidding.
(Amazingly, he is turned in the right direction. He levels his
arm at the stormtroopers, and a tiny mechanical duck suddenly
pops out of his sleeve. From it, he starts launching rapid
fire oblong spheres into the stormtroopers. Each launching is
accompanied by a quack from the duck. The spheres explode like
grenades, sending stormtroopers flying in every direction.
Nodoka and Tofu pull lightsabres out of nowhere. Nodoka's is
bright red, while Tofu's is pure white. They both begin to
reflect blaster fire back into the stormtroopers. Ranma and
Tarou, having no long range weapons, retreat to the ship.
Ukyou follows, close to Ranma, but firing gleaming, razor sharp
mini-spatulas into the troopers from a launcher on her arm.)

Tarou:(To Ukyou, as he dodges behind a crate.) Quick! Grab
that bucket of water on top of the ramp!
(Ukyou looks concernedly at Ranma, but he waves her off,
easily dodging blaster fire. She runs up the ramp and grabs
the bucket. By this point, the group is not faring well,
as more troopers have arrived. The group is being steadily
pushed back.)

Tarou: Throw the water on me! (Ukyou stares at him.) No
time to explain! Just do it!
(She pulls back her arm, then flings the water forward.
Just as it reaches the end of its arc, Ranma, dodging
stormtrooper fire, also gets close enough to be splashed.
Ukyou's eyes widen as the water clears, and both Ranma and
Tarou are gone. Instead there is a red-headed girl-who
faintly resembles Ranma and is wearing the same clothing-and a
giant minotaur-like creature with tiny wings and a twitching
eel for a tail. The girl looks around, and then down at
herself.)

Girl: AIEEE!!!

Nodoka:(Turning around.) What is...(Sees creature and girl.)
Oh my...
(With a bellow of rage, the minotaur charges into the
gaping stormtroopers. As they flee, Ryouga retreats from the
melee.)

Ryouga: Into the ship!
(He runs up the ship's ramp, absently grabbing the girl
and Mousse along the way. After a moment's hesitation,
Nodoka, Tofu, and Ukyou follow. Ryouga drops Mousse and
the girl(who has a shell-shocked expression). He begins
to look around, and Tofu grabs him and steers him into
the cramped cockpit.)

Tofu: Get this thing moving!
(Ryouga pulls out a key and slides it into a slot on the
instrument-clogged dashboard. He turns it, and we hear the
drumming sound of an engine turning over. He does this
again, and we hear the hum of super-scientific engines. An
outside view shows the minotaur holding one of the stormtroopers
over it's head. It looks over as the back of the ship begins
to turn bright white. Dropping the trooper, it charges up
the ramp and dives through the door just as it begins to
close. The ramp retracts as the door clamps shut, and the
ship begins to rise from it's landing struts. As it spins toward
the rapidly opening hangar doors, Kunou and several dozen
commandos burst in.)

Kunou: Stop them!
(The troopers and commandos begin to rain bright red blaster
bolts on the ship, but they are doing no appreciable damage.
With a roar, it streaks out of the hangar.)

Kunou: NO!!!
(Kunou waves his hand at a hapless commando, who goes
flying against the wall with a sickening crunch.)

Kunou: Summon the Blue Thunder! (He turns on his heel and
begins to march out.) Tell it to stop that ship! No matter
the cost, I want them taken alive!
(Cut to the cockpit of the ship. Ryouga and Tofu are sitting
in the pilot and copilot chairs, manipulating the controls.
Abruptly, Nodoka runs in.)

Nodoka: We have to turn back! I can't find Ranma!

Ryouga: Tough. If your son's back there, the Imperials got
him. Live with it, cause I'm not about to risk the Falcon for
one boy, paying customer or not.

Nodoka: You...you...
(She fingers her lightsabre, but Tofu grabs her wrist firmly.)

Tofu: Nodoka! Ryouga is correct. We can go back for Ranma
later. First things first, who is that girl that we picked
up?

Nodoka: (calming slightly) I don't know. She's catatonic.
She only moved once, and that was to open her gi and look at
her...you know. After that...nothing. I closed her gi
before going in search of...Ranma (sobs) Tofu Wan, they have my
son... (tears appear in her eyes) those bastards took my son!
(She begins to cry. Tofu awkwardly tries to console her while
simultaneously steering the ship.)

Tofu: There, there...
(A siren blares, and they all look up.)

Ryouga: Alarm. We're being intercepted by a capital ship.
(He looks at some readouts and whistles.) It's a Bokken-
class destroyer, and it has a swarm of TIE's with it!
(Suddenly, the ship rocks. Ryouga turns to Nodoka.)

Ryouga: You! Take your droids and get to the rear. There's
some turrets-man them or we're going to be dead meat!
(Nodoka sprints off. An external view shows the Hibiki
Falcon swooping and diving, doing its best to avoid the
greenish laser and bluish ion bolts from the half-dozen TIE's
around it. Suddenly, streams of laser fire flash from three
turrets on the rear of the hull. Three TIE's spin out of
control and explode. However, the sword-shaped capital ship
and its three dozen or so squadrons are getting closer. We
switch back to a view of the cockpit as Tarou runs in. He is
wet, and is carrying a teapot.)

Tarou: Ryouga-kun! That Bokken is blocking our hyper-space
route! Unless we can get it out of the way, we're going to
be trapped here!

Ryouga: Did you fix the cannon?

Tarou: (dropping teapot) I got a start on it...but I wouldn't...

Ryouga: Do you have a better idea?

Tarou: (hesitates) No.

Ryouga: Then get back there and prepare the hyperdrives. I'll
take care of that Bokken!
(Tarou nods, and runs out as Ryouga begins to fiddle with the
controls frantically. Another exterior view shows the
Falcon still dodging fire. TIE's sweep around it, but aren't
having a field day as they scramble to avoid the continuous
stream of laser fire from the turrets. Black, yellow, and
white energy is arcing between the walls in the indented
foresection. The Blue Thunder floats before the Falcon, it's
turbo laser cannons pelting out death, but thus far unable to
hit the smaller, nimbler craft. Back in the cockpit, Ryouga
grabs a joystick on the side of the cockpit and flips up the
safety.)

Ryouga: BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSU CANNON!
(He pulls the trigger. Outside, the energy in the foresection
melds together, becoming a giant, bulging sphere. Suddenly
it warps into a giant, multicolored beam of energy, that arcs
out and smashes into the Blue Thunder. The Imperial ship
shudders slightly, and then the beam cuts off. All is still
for a moment as the Blue Thunder floats, seemingly
undamaged. Then a tremendous explosion rips apart the front of
the Bokken. Secondary explosions rock up and down
it's hull, and when the smoke clears, the Blue Thunder is
missing one third of it's blade-like foresection. The scene cuts
back to the cockpit. Tarou's voice is heard over a speaker.)

Tarou: Activating hyperdrive!
(The stars suddenly blur into lines as they approach the ship
at a fantastic rate. Kunou clenches his fists as he watches
the Falcon disappear on a monitor.)

Kunou: NO! They have escaped!
(His lightsabre flashes in an arc, and three officers collapse.
General Sasuke is too short to die, but is nervously patting
the top of his head, where hair had existed a moment ago.)

Sasuke: They won't get far, Master Kunou.

Kunou: Of course not, for we shall follow them!

Sasuke: But how, Master Kunou? The Blue Thunder is too damaged
to give chase!

Kunou: With everything this miserable planet possesses! (He
strikes a typical Kunou pose, lightsabre in hand.) I know
in my heart of hearts that the vile wretch who has enslaved
Princess Akane is upon that ship! I shall not rest until I have
brought the cur to heel!
(He sweeps his cape around, and starts to make a dramatic exit.
However, his foot gets caught in the cape and he trips, falling
face-first into a radar screen. He lies there, unmoving, as
General Sasuke picks up an intercom.

Sasuke: General Sasuke to all Imperials! Impound all hyperspace-
worthy craft and prepare to pursue the Rebel escapees. (sighs)
And send the medical staff to the command station on Tokyo.
(We see the Hibiki Falcon, still damaged from the recent fight
with Imperial forces. It appears to be floating dead in
space. Inside, we see most of the group. The mysterious girl
is sitting unmoving in a corner. She is staring straight
ahead with a blank look on her face. Near her, Mousse is
polishing a hooked metal claw. On the opposite side of the
room, both Nodoka and Ukyou are crying. Beside them, Tofu sits,
looking worried.)

Tofu: It's all right, Nodoka. We'll rescue Ranma.

Nodoka: (sob) But (sob) how?

Tofu: The same way we'll rescue Akane.
(He pats her on the shoulder. She calms down and stops crying.)

Nodoka: I know, crying won't solve anything. (Looking at the girl)
I wonder who she is?
(Tofu gets up and walks over to her.)

Tofu: I think it's time we found out.
(He pokes the girl on the forehead, who snaps out of her stupor.
She looks around in confusion, blinking as if trying to clear
her vision.)

Girl: Mom...

Tofu: Your mother isn't here, miss...
(The girl looks at Tofu, and her eyes widen in recognition.)

Girl: To...Tofu Wan! Where are we?

Tofu: How do you know my name?

Girl(sarcastically): Why shouldn't I? We've known each other for
ten years.

Tofu: We've met?

Girl: Did you get hit in the head or something? It's me, Ranma!

Nodoka: Ranma...?

Ranma-chan: Mom!
(She runs over and hugs an uncomfortable-looking Nodoka.)

Ranma-chan: I had the most horrible nightmare! I dreamt that I
was a girl!
(Nodoka grabs her and pushes her back, then looks at her closely.)

Nodoka: Ranma, is that really you?

Ranma-chan: Of course it is! Why don't any of you recognize me?

Nodoka(tears): My son...my son!

Ranma-chan: Somebody tell me what's wrong!
(Tofu has walked up behind Ranma-chan and is examining her.
Ukyou is starring at Ranma-chan is shock, and Mousse
is looking for the commotion with
(Tofu holds up a mirror.)

Tofu: See for yourself.
(Ranma-chan examines the mirror for a moment, then jumps away
with a cry.)

Ranma-chan: I...I'm a girl! I must still be dreaming!

Tofu: It is not a dream, Ranma. Yes, it is indeed you, I see.
Your auras are the same.
(Ranma-chan looks horrified, then grabs Tofu.)

Ranma-chan: Help me! You've got to help me turn back!

Ukyou: It is Ranchan! Oh no! How can we be together now?
(At this point, Ryouga walks into the room.)

Ryouga: Bad news, people. The cannon shorted out the
hyperdri...(spots Ranma-chan) YOU!!!!
(Activating his lightsabre-like weapon, Ryouga charges at
Ranma-chan. She is surprised, but nonetheless manages to
dodge Ryouga's first blow and the next four as well.)

Ranma-chan: What's your problem?(swing, dodge)

Ryouga: Die! (swing, dodge) DIE! (swing, dodge) _DIE_!!!
(Ranma-chan finally gets fed up and tries to drop kick Ryouga.
However, he grabs her foot, and tosses her away like a
rag doll. She crashes into a bulkhead.)

Ranma-chan: Ugh! Okay buddy, now I'm mad!
(The two of them charge, but suddenly stop short a few inches
from each other. They struggle, but look like they're
being held back by something. Ukyou and Tofu turn their heads
and see that Nodoka is standing with her hands clasped
together and extended towards the pair. With a jerk, she
pulls her hands apart and the combatants fall to the floor.)

Nodoka: I've had enough! I want to know what is going on here,
staring with why you(points at Ryouga) want to kill her
(points at Ranma-chan).
(Ryouga glares for a moment, then relaxes and sighs.)

Ryouga: It all started long ago...
(Flashback: We see a swampy jungle, swathed in thick mist.)

Ryouga(narrator): My dad and I were going to the local store...
(Two figures emerge from the mist: a taller, older version of
Ryouga(Mr. Solo) and a tiny version of Ryouga (SD-Ryouga).
They look around.)

Mr. Solo: I don't think this is Delaware street.

SD-Ryouga: Wow, this place is neat, dad!
(He walks over to a pool, which has a bamboo shaft sticking
out of it.

SD-Ryouga: Cool! Can I go swimming?

Mr. Solo: No, my son. You should never go into strange water.

SD-Ryouga(disappointed): Okay, dad.
(We suddenly see an object streaking in from the distance.
SD-Ryouga looks up and sees SD-Ranma-chan running
towards them, crying wildly. Ryouga steps up to meet her.)

SD-Ryouga: Hi, my name's Ryouga. What's y...

Mr. Solo: Ryouga, watch out!
(Too late. SD-Ranma-chan smashes into SD-Ryouga, sending
him flying into the pool. The water goes still for a
moment, and then a kawaii little black pig stumbles out.
It watches SD-Ranma-chan streak off. She hasn't slowed
down or given any indication of noticing them. The pigs
eyes narrow and it begins to snort and squeal in rage. The
scene returns to the present. Ryouga's fists are clenched,
and his eyes are streaming tears.)

Ryouga: That girl's face was burned into my mind. I swore
at that moment that if I ever met her again I would kill her
and now...now she is within my grasp.

Tofu(softly): Jyusenkyou.

Ryouga: Gesundheit.

Tofu: No, Jyusenkyou. That was the place where you received
this curse.

Ryouga: Huh?

Tofu: Until now, I had thought it to be a legend. Jyusenkyou
is said to be the ancestral home of the Jedi, but they left
because the planet held a terrible curse. On it's surface
are billions of springs. Each one is enchanted to transform
whomever fall in it into the creature that first drowned
there thousands of years ago.

Ryouga: So I fell into the spring of drowned pig.

Tofu: (nods) Apparently, and according to your story, Ranma
must also have been there...

Nodoka(blurts): The training trip!

Ranma-chan: What?

Nodoka: That training trip your father took you on when he
(winces)...disappeared. He must have taken you to
Jyusenkyou!

Ranma-chan: I think I would remember something like that, mom.

Nodoka: Not necessarily. You said you couldn't remember when
your father...disappeared. Someone must have blocked out
the other memories as well.

Ranma-chan: Somebody blocked out my memories...then that
somebody must also have...have killed my father. Why
else wouldn't he show up again?
(Tofu and Nodoka exchange glances.)

Nodoka: Yes, whoever blocked your memories must have killed
your father.

Ranma-chan: I'll find this person and...no, I'll worry about
that later. How come this never happened before?

Nodoka: I don't know. Ryouga, what triggers this...curse?
(Ryouga looks surprised.)

Ryouga: Cold water.

Nodoka: That explains it. Only a week after you returned-
alone-we moved to Tokyo. There was never any water
around to get splashed with. And this wears off with time,
Ryouga?

Ryouga: No...

Ukyou: But it must have some cure!

Ryouga: It does. Hot water reverses the effect, but another
dose of cold water activates the curse again. It doesn't have
to be pure water, either. As long as the liquid has a certain
percentage of water in it, it will work. Also, it only works if
you are splashed with the liquid, not if you drink it.
Internally, it doesn't seem to affect anything.

Ranma-chan: Well, what are you waiting for? Get me some hot water!

Ukyou: Allow me, Ranchan.
(Her hand retracts, leaving a hole. Out of the hole flies
a stream of boiling water. It hits Ranma-chan, who jumps away,
now male.)

Ranma: Not _quite_ so hot, Ucchan.

Tofu: Okay, that's one problem solved...temporarily. We
still have to fix the ship, get to Dojo, rescue Princess Akane...

Ryouga: Wait! Did I hear right? You are planning to rescue
on rescuing Princess Akane, _the_ Princess Akane?

Mousse: There's only, last I heard, and yes we are going to
rescue her. Ukyou and I are droids in the employ of the
Princess. She gave us the mission-just prior to her capture-
to inform her father, King Soun of Dojo. We have decided
to rescue her as well.

Ryouga: I remember Princess Akane...
(He has a dreamy look on his face.)

Ranma: Wait a sec. You've met her?

Ryouga: Yes, I wandered into the palace one day and met
her. She is the most delightful, beautiful woman I have ever
met. We spent some time together, and everyday my love
for her grew. As I trying to get up the nerve to ask her out
on a date, Kasumi-her sister-told me she was a princess. I
wandered away, crushed. A princess could never love a peasant
like me, I thought...

Nodoka: This just keeps getting more complicated.(sighs)

Ryouga: What are you talking about?

Nodoka: Ranma is engaged to marry Akane.

Ryouga: What?!?

Nodoka: The Tendo family made a marriage pact with the royal
Skywalkers of Nerima. When Nerima was destroyed, Ranma and
I became the last-if very distantly related-Skywalkers.
Therefore, it is Ranma's duty to marry Akane.

Ryouga: No! I won't let him marry Akane! He's done enough
to ruin my life!

Ranma: You can have her. I'm not marrying some stuck-up
snob that I haven't even met!

Ryouga: Take that back! I won't let you talk that way
about Akane, you...moron!

Ranma: What do you care...peasant!

Ryouga: Shut up, you lousy transvestite!

Ranma: Oinker!

Ryouga: Fem-boy!

Nodoka: Children!

Ranma and Ryouga(looking chastised): Sorry, ma'am.

Ukyou: Besides, you don't have to fight. After all,
Ranma's going to marry me.
(Ryouga raises an eyebrow.)

Tofu: Another one of those problems that we have to solve.

Ukyou: No problem. I'm just going to marry Ranchan, that's all.
(She attempts a glomp, but Ranma dodges.)

Tofu: And after we solve all this, we're going to have to
find a permanent cure for Ranma and Ryouga.

Ryouga: ...and Tarou.

Ranma: Huh?

Ryouga: Tarou. He's cursed like me and...that(indicates
Ranma). I don't know how it happened, though. He doesn't
like to talk about his past, and I respect his wishes.

Tofu: That would explain that creature we saw earlier.
(At that point, Tarou walks in, looking grimly amused.)

Tarou: Well, Solo-kun, you effectively fried every system
on this bucket of bolts except life support and sensors.

Ryouga: How long before we can make repairs to basic
thrusters and the hyperdrive only?
(Tarou looks thoughtful for a moment.)

Tarou: Without ground dock? A week, maybe more.

Ranma: Maybe I can help. What kind of engine has she got?

Tarou(dubiously): A fourth generation inertia drive.

Ranma: Pelton or Sinear model?

Tarou: Sinear.

Ranma: Well that's simple, I can help you for a while each
day, and Tofu-sensei and mom can teach me the rest of the
time.

Nodoka: I was hoping you'd forget about that.

Ranma(winks): You thought I'd forget a promise like that?

Ryouga(whispers to Mousse): What's that all about?

Mousse(whispers back): They're Jedi Ninja. They promised
to train him as one if he'd come along.

Ryouga: Jedi!

Nodoka: Yes, we are Jedi. Ryouga, Ranma will need a sparring
partner, and you're pretty handy with that...what is that,
anyway?
(Ryouga blinks, then holds up his odd weapon and turns it on.)

Ryouga: This? It's my Brella. Dad gave it to me before I
left the house to get some tacos. I haven't been able to find
him yet to give it back.

Nodoka: Yes. Ranma is a good hand-to-hand fighter, but he
needs to train in weapons before he can become a Jedi.

Ranma: Hah! You call _that_ a sparring partner? I'll eat
him alive in seconds!

Ryouga: Oh yeah, Ranma! Let's see you put your skills
where your mouth is!

Ranma: I'll put my fist(shakes said appendage) where _your_
mouth is!

Tofu(whispers to Nodoka): You saw it too.

Nodoka(nods, and whispers): Yes.
(We see Ryouga and Ranma attacking each other in the
background. Cut to another scene. We see a flotilla
of wedge-shaped Star Destroyers hovering through space.
However, they are all dwarfed by the colossal-no, make
that gigantic-Imperial Star Destroyer that they float
about like tuna swimming with a whale. The scene shifts
to the bridge of the huge Star Destroyer. Darth Saotome
sits upon a large chair/throne, which is on a pedestal in
the middle of the room. He is listening to Admiral Harkov
deliver a report.)

Harkov: ...and we have stripped Vatlor Delta of the Emperor's...
valuables.

Saotome(printout): How goes the construction of the battle fortress?

Harkov: Smoothly. It will be ready in two weeks.

Saotome: And my _special_ adjustments?

Harkov(smiles): In place. About your messenger, though...

Saotome: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Harkov: Hai. Oh yes, and General Sasuke has sent us a report.

Saotome: Proceed.

Harkov: Kunou returned to Tokyo. He wanted to know why Princess
Akane was heading there. Once he arrived, he imposed martial
law upon the planet. However, one ship ran the gauntlet and
crippled the Blue Thunder in the process.

Saotome: Nani?!?

Harkov: The ship had a powerful ion cannon. A lucky shot hit a
vital power juncture. It shut down and there was an overload in...

Saotome: I understand. What ship was this?

Harkov: Sasuke checked it out. It's the Hibiki Falcon, Ryouga
Solo-a known offender to the state-'s ship. He was transporting
some rebels. Sasuke questioned some people at a cantena they had
visited, and learned that the group consisted of two droids, a
man and woman-possibly a couple-and a young boy. The boy was the
only one we could identify. His name is Ranma Skywalker.
(Saotome falls back. "!"s and "?"s fill his computer screen.)

Harkov: Kunou put together a rag-tag militia and is going to chase
them. He seems to think that the person responsible for "enslaving"
Princess Akane is aboard.

Saotome: Order Kunou to stand down!

Harkov: Wh...why?

Saotome: Order him to wait until the Blue Thunder is repaired!

Harkov: Sir, that will take at least a week.

Saotome: Enough time for you to take an Interdictor and join him.
I'm putting you in charge of this operation. Also, contact the
Black Rose. I want her in on this.

Harkov: That's an awful lot of firepower for one ship. Sir, I
have an objection to the Black Rose. Vice-Admiral...

Saotome: I know, but she is good, and you'll need all the help
you can get. By the way, I want those people alive! Not a
single one dead!

Harkov: Sir...?

Saotome: Dismissed!
(Harkov nods and strides down the catwalk.)

Saotome:[Could it be? Or is it just a coincidence? Nerima was
destroyed...but I can't take that chance!]
(Scene shifts to the inside of the Hibiki Falcon. Ranma and
Ryouga are sparring in what appears to be a recreation
room. Ranma is getting the worst of it, mainly because he is
using an unfamiliar green lightsabre while Ryouga is using
his Brella. Nodoka is looking on, and Ukyou is playing a game
of 3-D chess with Mousse, occasionally stopping to shout
encouragement at Ranma.)

Nodoka: Control the weapon, Ranma, don't let it control you!

Ranma: (parries a swing from Ryouga.) That's easy for you to
say! (blocks, parries, feints.) If you had trained me when
I wanted you to, I would be eating this guy for breakfast!

Ryouga: (parries Ranma's feint) Ha! I'd crush you like a bug,
even if you trained for a thousand years! (thrust-no luck,
feint-no luck)

Ranma: This sucks! (tosses his sabre at Ryouga, who easily
swats it aside.) I've had enough!
(Ranma ducks, and footsweeps Ryouga. As Ryouga begins to
fall, Ranma jumps up, smashing his fist into Ryouga's
ribcage. Ryouga lands with a thud, and Ranma thrusts his
palm to within a fraction of an inch of Ryouga's nose.)

Ranma: I win!

Nodoka: No you didn't. The purpose of the exercise was
not to defeat Ryouga, but to learn how to rely on the
lightsabre. If this were a classroom, you would have failed.

Ranma: I don't see why I have to learn to use the stupid
lightsabre anyway. I can fight ten times better than Ryouga
without one than he can with that Brella of his.

Ryouga: You cheated!

Ranma(philosophically): In a real fight, no one will follow rules.
(Tofu walks in.)

Tofu: Well spoken, Ranma. However, this was not actual combat.
You have much to learn about the ways of the Force.

Ukyou: I think Ranchan was fabulous. Especially in that gi.

Ranma(blushing): Uh...your input is...appreciated, Ucchan.
(Ryouga laughs contemptuously.)

Ryouga: You're pathetic, Ranma. You've got the hots for a soda
machine.

Ranma: Hey!

Ukyou: I've just been insulted, haven't I?
(Tarou walks in, with a burnt pair of coveralls on.)

Nodoka(ominously): Ryouga...

Ryouga: Sorry, Nodoka-sensei.

Nodoka: I am not the one you should apologize to, but I'll
let it go...this time.

Ryouga: Yes, ma'am.

Tarou: Some smuggler you are, Solo-kun. (laughs) You're acting
like a kid. If I didn't know better, I'd say those two
are teaching you as much as they're teaching Ranma.

Tofu: Why are you here, Tarou? I thought you were working
on that conduit problem.

Tarou: I fixed it. The hyperdrive and inertia thrusters are
back on-line.

Ranma: You sure the quantum calculations are up to par?
(He sits down in a chair by Tofu.)

Tarou: As good as it'll get without ground dock.

Ryouga: Great, we can finally get out of here. Now, does
anyone know how to find Dojo?

Ukyou: The coordinates are stored in my memory banks.

Tarou: Good. Okay, let's get to the bridge.
(Tarou, Ryouga, Ukyou, and Ranma head to the bridge. Once
there, Tarou and Ryouga take their seats.)

Ryouga: Okay, give me those coordinates.
(Ukyou gets a far-away look, and begins to speak in a mechanical
tone.)

Ukyou: Alpha-39-Tri-5-62-Quasar-GL-Time Index-53-.-3.
(Ryouga pushes a button each time she says a word. Once finished,
Ukyou returns to normal.)

Tarou: All right, here we go.
(He pushes a button and the stars streak towards them. The scene
switches. Near a space platform we see three ships. One is the
Blue Thunder, fully repaired from its clash with the Hibiki Falcon
and looking almost brand-new. Floating alongside of it is an
Interdictor-class Star Destroyer. Somewhat further off is another
unusual ship. This one has a long, narrow foresection tapering to
a point at one end, and suddenly unfolding like flower petals at
the other. Multiple cone-shaped spines sprout from the main body
like thorns. Two small shuttles are visible on route from the Blue
Thunder and the other ship, heading towards the Interdictor. An
array of hodge-podge ships are visible (the Enterprise, the SDF-1,
a flying saucer, the ship from Project A-ko, etc.) Moving sluggishly
about. On the bridge of the Interdictor, we see a platform, which
connects to a raised walkway. A door opens at the end of the
walkway, and Kunou, resplendent in ceremonial armour and knee-
length black cape, strides to the pedestal. There are three chairs
upon it, the central one currently occupied by Admiral Harkov. On
his left sits a beautiful, raven-haired woman. She bears a slight
resemblance to Kunou, particularly in her arrogant posture and
superior expression. Kunou bows to Harkov.)

Kunou: Greetings, Admiral Harkov.

Harkov: Welcome, Lord Kunou.
(Kunou rises, and inclines his head slightly to the woman.)

Kunou: Sister.
(She smiles demurely.)

Woman: Always a pleasure, brother.

Harkov: Please sit. (Kunou does) Now, let's get down to business.
I have invited you and Vice-Admiral Kodachi here in order to discuss
the strategy we will use in hunting down the Hibiki Fal...(he's cut
off by alarm klaxons, and jumps up.) What's going on?

Tech: Object coming out of hyperspace, sir! Seventy metres away
and on a collision course with us!

Harkov: Raise shields! Kunou: Lock Weapons! Kodachi: On screen!

(Inside the cockpit of the Hibiki Falcon, we see Ranma,
Ryouga, Tarou, and Ukyou watch the blurred stars suddenly be
replaced by a very large and _very_ close Interdictor Star
Destroyer. They all stare in shock for a moment.)

Ranma: Pull up! PULL UP!
(Ryouga is pulling on a metal bar in front of him with enough
force to bend it.)

Ryouga: I am! I am!
(An exterior view shows the Falcon sailing towards the Star
Destroyer. It appears like it's going to hit, then pulls up at
the last possible second. In a cascade of sparks, it bounces
along the hull of the much larger ship. Inside the bridge of
the Star Destroyer, the trio watch the Falcon bounce one
final time and begin to rocket away.)

Kunou(hisses): It's them!

Kodachi: Lock on our tractor beam and activate the ion cannon!
Inform the Black Rose and Blue Thunder to intercept, and
scramble all fighters!
(Aboard the Falcon, Ranma hits Ryouga over the head.)

Ranma: You idiot! You were supposed to take us to Dojo, not
the Imperial fleet!

Ryouga: Hey! I followed orders! It's not my fault they moved the
planet!
(The ship rocks, and sparks fly from the console. Ukyou checks a
readout.)

Ukyou: Ion bombardment! System integrity down to seventy-five
percent! Engine efficiency is halved!

Ranma: We have a clear path. Let's hyperspace outta here!

Tarou: No good. The hyperspace drive was torn loose by the
impact. It's floating around behind us!
(The ship rocks again.)

Ukyou: Integrity down to thirty-four percent. Tractor beam locking
on.

Ranma: Return fire!

Tarou: With what? All of our guns are still fried!

Ranma: Damn! Here, give me those controls.
(An exterior view shows the Falcon dodging and weaving around
intense blue ion cannon fire from the Star Destroyer.
By now, the Blue Thunder and Black Rose have boxed in the tiny
craft. Both ships add their arsenal to the bombardment, but
the Falcon somehow manages to avoid every blast. Then, several
dozen Gunboats fly in, and begin pelting the Falcon with blueish
ion fire.)

Ranma: Damn, where'd they come from?

Ukyou: Integrity at four percent, three, two, one...(all the
lights shut off, and we can no longer hear the engines) Systems
down. We're dead in space.
(The ship rocks slightly as the tractor beam locks on. Ranma
activates his lightsabre. Its feeble green light casts
shadows on all of their faces.)

Ranma: We're going to be boarded. Let's go back to the main room.
(On the bridge of the Imperial vessel, the trio of villains watch
the Hibiki Falcon being towed into the cargo bay.)

Kunou: Excellent! (laughs megalomaniacally) Soon, I shall have
the one who has enslaved Princess Akane in my hands!

Kodachi: Don't count your chickens before they're hatched, dear
brother. We still have to capture them.

Kunou: Bah! My aide Sasuke will lead the assault himself!
Those ignorant whelps will be mine!
(He strikes a pose. Meanwhile, in the lounge of the Hibiki
Falcon, we see the group standing in various places. The
sounds of the ship being dragged into the cargo bay seem far
away. Ryouga and Ranma have their respective weapons
activated. Ukyou looks worried, Mousse is just looking for
everyone. Nodoka, Tofu, and Tarou seem calm.)

Tofu: Okay, we have some quick decisions to make. First, do
we fight or surrender?

Ranma, Ryouga, Tarou, Mousse(without hesitation): Fight.

Tofu: Why? We have no chance of winning against such odds.
(Tarou snorts.)

Tarou: To give up now, after all we've gone through, would be
ridiculous.

Ranma: Besides, they'll only capture us if we lose. They
wouldn't gone through all the trouble to disable the ship, if
they intend to kill us.

Nodoka: There's some problems with that logic, but I'll have
to ignore it. (to Tofu) We can't let them capture us, Tofu.
We're the only ones left.

Tofu(nods): Okay.
(There is an explosion, and the ship rocks.)

Tarou: They're cutting through the doors.
(Tarou picks up a bucket and dumps the contents over his
head-instant minotaur. Tofu and Nodoka activate their
lightsabres. Mousse turns his right arm into his duck
cannon, while Ukyou extends her spatula to combat length.
Outside, we see a large cargo bay with the Hibiki Falcon
in the middle. All around the ship are scores of stormtroopers
and commandos. Near the hatch, two troopers are working with
welding torches. Sasuke stands near the back, on a hover
platform.)

Sasuke: [Master Kunou will be most pleased. The ship is so
still, they probably have decided to surrender without a
fight.]
(At that moment, the hatch explodes outward, sending sparks,
shrapnel, and the two troopers flying. Out of the hole
flies a _very_ angry looking Minotaur. Tarou rams into the
first line of stormtroopers, sending them flying about like
ten pins. Ryouga, Ranma, and Ukyou follow him. The three
begin to lay about with their respective weapons in perfect
unison. Soon, all four are so deep within the ranks that
the troopers are forced to switch to hand-to-hand fighting or
risk shooting each other. As Sasuke watches, Nodoka and Tofu
spring out of a hatch at the top of the ship, to fly into the
troopers like avenging angels. Nodoka spins her bright red
lightsabre about, deflecting laser fire as she sails towards
them. With a cry, she thrusts her free hand palm-outward at
the troopers below. With a THOUM, the area is suddenly
clear of Imperials. Nodoka lands in the middle of this, and
charges into the enemy lines, laying about left and right with
her lightsabre and powerful force attacks. Tofu, and begins to
fight _very_ defensively, only striking out when absolutely
necessary, and then with non-lethal force. Mousse appears in
the hole where Tarou exited, and begins to launch egg grenades
and other weapons into the milling mass. General Sasuke's eyes
widen as he watches his troops get decimated.)

Sasuke: [Who _are_ these people?]
(Ranma flashes by in front of Sasuke and drop kicks a commando.
He lands, ducks, and elbows a trooper in the midsection. With
a cry, Ranma leaps up, spinning his lightsabre in a whistling
arc. He lands as five troopers collapse. A few bandanna-bolts
fly by his head, and Ryouga jumps over him, gun blazing. Ranma
follows hi into a knot of troopers, who are quickly decimated.
Ukyou flies by the two, spraying a nearby group with spatulas.
A few fall down, and she crashes into the remaining eight. In a
flurry of movement, she smashes one with her combat spatula,
footsweeps another, uppercuts a third, and picks up another.
With a heave, she tosses him into the other troopers, who
collapse in a heap. Nearby, Tarou-minotaur lifts a trooper in
each hand and brings their heads together with a jerk. Both fall
limp, and he hurls them like baseballs into a charging mass of
troopers and commandos, most of whom are sent flying. Three are
left, holding blasters in shaking hands. Tarou snorts at them,
and they drop their guns and run screaming for the hills. Mousse,
meanwhile, is happily pelting the milling, confused, and badly
shaken enemy mass with egg grenades, spears, old beer cans,
copies of Howard the Duck, and Sailor Moon dolls. Kunou, who has
been watching the debacle from a monitor on the bridge, clenches
his fists in anger.)

Kunou: It appears I have underestimated them, again. It shall not
happen a third time!

Kodachi: If you say so, brother. Why don't we call up those...
special reinforcements from the adjacent cargo bay?

Harkov: Yes, that should take care of them.
(Down in the cargo bay, Ranma & Co. Have pushed the remaining
imperials into a struggling knot around General Sasuke's platform.)

Sasuke: Hold them back! If we remain long enough, Master Kunou
will save us!
(Ranma reflects a blaster beam and kicks a commando in the face.)

Ranma: Who's this Kunou character, anyway?
(Nodoka chops with her sabre and brings down two more troopers.)

Nodoka: My guess would be Tatewaki Kunou, second disciple of the
Emperor.
(Ukyou launches a stream of spatulas into a troublesome section.)

Ukyou: That's the one who captured Akane!
(Ryouga looks thoughtful, while absently reflecting blaster fire
with his Brella.)

Ryouga: Maybe if we get our hands on this guy, he can tell us
where Akane is being held.
(Mousse, who is still in the hatch, launches a couple of egg
grenades at the troopers.)

Mousse: Sounds like a plan.

Ranma: Alright, let's just finish off these loserrrrrr....
(His voice fades away, as he sees something beyond the platform.
Due to his angle of attack, only he and Tofu-who abstained from
the mopping up-can see it.)

Nodoka: What is it Ranma?(looks in that direction) Oh my....
(Everyone turns, and just stares. The entire wall on one side
of the room has split horizontally along the middle, and the
two pieces are sliding apart. Though they are only half-way
open, the three objects inside are clearly visible. They
stand on two spindly legs, which bend forward slightly, as if
they struggle to hold up the large box-like top part. The
box sports two viewing slits and three large turbo-laser turrets.)

Ryouga: By all the...

Harkov(over a speaker): Attention, rebels. This is Admiral
Harkov, commander of the strike force responsible for your
capture. I hop you've had fun playing with the troopers, but
as you can see, you are now outgunned and outclassed. I
suggest you surrender immediately, or things could get most...
uncomfortable.
(Nodoka drops her lightsabre, and raises her hands above her
head. Ryouga grumbles something under his breath, but
follows suit. Ukyou retracts her spatula and raises her hands.
Ranma backs up to a pile of crates, toying with his lightsabre
and sporting a trapped look. Suddenly a hand darts out of the
shadows and clamps itself over Ranma's mouth. Ranma tries to
shout, but only makes a muffled noise before he disappears
behind the crates. Nobody notices this, and Tarou and
Mousse quickly surrender. A group of officers walk in and
escort the prisoners away. Back at the bridge, the trio of
villains watch with pleasure.)

Kunou: Excellent! I shall interrogate the prisoners forthwith.
And upon discovery of the fiend who enslaved Princess Akane,
I shall treat him to my blade!
(Activates his lightsabre and strikes a pose.)

Harkov: No you won't!
(Kunou turns to him, flabbergasted.)

Kunou: Are you undermining my authority?

Harkov: Since _I_ am in charge of this mission, no _I_ am not.
You will not get within twenty feet of the prisoners. Lord
Saotome wants them alive, and I mean to insure it.
(Kunou begins to smoke and steam.)

Harkov: I suggest you leave, Kunou. Return to the Blue Thunder
and wait for further orders.

Kunou(forced tone): Yes...sir!
(He turns and starts to leave, then stops and glares back at
Harkov.)

Kunou: But mark my words. This is a grave mistake. Letting
them live is the worst thing you can do for the Empire.
(He walks out. Kodachi claps her hands delightedly.)

Kodachi: Bravo, Harkov. I suppose you want me to return to the
Black Rose?

Harkov: If you wish. It is not an order, however. I would
appreciate your input at the interrogation.
(Kodachi smiles.)

Kodachi: In that case, I will stay. I would like to meet
these people Darth Saotome is so interested in seeing.
(We see a shuttle entering a bay aboard the Blue Thunder.
It lands, and the hatch opens. Kunou, steps out, Sasuke at
his side.)

Sasuke: Master, if I may be so bold, why are we in such a hurry?

Kunou: We are leaving, Sasuke. I shall not be witness to
Harkov's destruction of the Empire!

Sasuke: Where are we going?

Kunou: Corsecont! I must speak with the Emperor himself!
Something is rotten in this fleet!
(Cut to a shabby room. Dark, rust covered boxes are stacked
about in a haphazard manner. A grate in the ceiling shudders,
than falls to strike one of the boxes with a clang. Ranma
drops from the hole and lands in a combat crouch. Tofu
swiftly follows. Ranma looks at him.)

Ranma: All right. How did we escape back thee?
(Tofu sits down, looking tired.)

Tofu: The same way I got us through the town back on Tokyo.
(he coughs) Never worked with so many minds at once
before, though...

Ranma: If mom had been teaching me when she was supposed to,
I could have helped you.

Tofu(ominously): Ranma...

Ranma: Sorry.

Tofu: I'll let it go because we have bigger things to worry
about.(cough) Like securing transport off this ship, and
freeing the others.

Ranma: Shouldn't be that hard. Once we get them out of the
stockade, we can fight our way out. They can't have those
AT-ST's everywhere.
(Tofu looks slightly amused.)
Tofu: You want to take on an entire ship, and a Dark Jedi
to boot?

Ranma: Dark Jedi?
(Tofu nods gravely.)

Tofu: Kunou. A warrior of the Force who has joined the
Dark Side.

Ranma: Hmph. I could take him.

Tofu(chastising): You've never met him.

Ranma: Doesn't matter. I'm the best, and I'll prove it.
(Tofu sighs.)

Tofu: Never mind, Ranma. No, we will not free them that
way. I want to find out who wants us alive, and for what
reason. That will be best secured by following the others
for awhile.

Ranma: You mean, we just sit here and wait while my mother's
in danger?

Tofu: Would you like to have the Empire chasing you for the
rest of your life?

Ranma: No...but we can't leave the others in danger! Mom
and Ucchan...even Mousse, Tarou, and Ryouga are by
themselves.

Tofu: Don't worry. We'll be there to protect them, even if
they don't know it.
(Back on the bridge, Harkov and Kodachi are making preparations
for the inquisition.)

Harkov: We should find out why they didn't use more conventional
weapons.

Kodachi: Yes. That seems...
(She is cut off by a frantic yell from a tech.)

Tech: Admiral Harkov, Vice-Admiral Kodachi! The Blue Thunder
is preparing to enter hyperspace!

Harkov and Kodachi: What?!?

Tech: The Blue Thunder is powering up its hyperspace drives.

Harkov: Get that idiot Kunou on the screen!
(After a moment, Kunou appears on the central viewscreen.
He sneers arrogantly at Harkov.)

Kunou: Admiral. To what do I owe this exquisite pleasure?

Harkov: Cut the bull, Kunou! What in the name of the Emperor
do you think you're doing?
(Kunou's smile disappears, and he looks angry.)

Kunou: It is in the name of the Emperor that I do this!
(He turns to Kodachi) I give you a chance to denounce this traitor,
sister.
(Kodachi looks at Kunou, then at Harkov. She smiles.)

Kodachi: No, I think I'll remain here...for now.

Kunou: Then you bring the wrath of the Empire down upon
yourself! Kunou out!
(The screen goes blank.)

Harkov: Kunou! _KUNOU_!!! Damn him!

Tech#2: The Blue Thunder has entered hyperspace. Do you wish to
pursue?

Harkov: No. I'll follow Lord Saotome orders. Let him deal with
Kunou. [This is all we need. We were counting on Kunou in our
plans.] Prepare for hyperspace jump. Inform Lord Saotome that
we will rendezvous with the fleet at the battle fortress. (to
Kodachi) I think you should return to the Black Rose. There
won't be an interrogation now.
(Kodachi inclines her head and stands.)

Kodachi: Yes. [This will be...interesting. I'd better make
sure I'm on the winning side.]
(The scene shifts to a conduit of some kind. Ranma and Tofu
climb along inside it. Soon, they come to an area where a
skin of transparent material is all that separates them from
space. Ranma looks out.)

Ranma: We're moving.

Tofu: Where?

Ranma: Looks like we're setting up for a hyperspace jump.

Tofu: So soon? I thought there would be an interrogation first.

Ranma: It's been awhile, maybe it already happened.

Tofu: Either way, we're going now. I suggest you brace yourself.
(Ranma grabs onto some piping just as the by-now familiar
hyperspace effect takes place. After a few minutes, the ship
reappears near the Imperial Navy. Ranma stares at the hundreds
of vessels in shock. They all appear to be orbiting a
small moon.)

Ranma: Geez! How can the Rebellion fight this?

Tofu: Hit and run. Guerilla tactics.

Ranma: Well, at least we found the moonlet that the Navy uses as
a base.
(Tofu looks at the moon for a moment, and then intakes his breath
sharply.)

Tofu: Th...that's no moon.

Ranma: What are you talking about? Nothing else(just then, a
nearby sun casts light across the moon)...is...that...big...
(As the first, blinding flash of light clears, we see that Tofu
was right. It is not a moon, but rather a moon-shaped, dark
grey fortress. A trench is visible along the "equator", and a
circular depression covers the upper fourth of the titanic
base.)

Ranma: What the hell _is_ that?!?

Tofu: I...I don't know. Whatever it is, it's trouble.

Ranma: That's an understatement if I ever heard one.
(The base slowly grows bigger as they watch.)

Tofu: Well, lad, it appears we will find out what it is soon enough.
(Admiral Harkov stands on the bridge of an Imperial Star Destroyer,
looking sour. A tech comes up to him.)

Tech: The docking operation is proceeding smoothly, sir.

Harkov: Good.

Tech: Also, the Black Rose has just exited hyperspace.

Harkov: Tell Kodachi to hold position at Lagrarge point Merrimet.

Tech: At once. Lord Saotome sent us a communique, he will be
arriving in five hours.

Harkov: Excellent. Prepare to shuttle the prisoners over to the
Happoudaikarin. I will join them in an hour.

Tech: Yes, Admiral.
(We see Kodachi in her private chambers, sitting and sipping a
cup of wine. She is watching a tape of the capture of the
rebels. As it ends, she picks up a device and rewinds the tape
to a scene during the combat. She frowns, and returns it
to when the prisoners were being led out. She switches back
and forth a few times.)

Kodachi: Something's not right here.
(She flips back to the fight scene. Fiddling with the device,
she enlarges a potion of the screen. We see Ranma in mid-leap,
with Ukyou and Ryouga underneath him. Kodachi stops and stares.
We hear corny music. Roses, sparkles, and bubbles float lazily
behind Kodachi. She looks shocked, but pleased...very pleased.)

Kodachi: [Who is that man? Who is this vision of perfection before
me? I must see him in person!]
(She returns to the screen where the prisoners are being escorted
out, and enlarges the scene until all of their faces are
visible.)

Kodachi: H..he's not there!
(She looks surprised, but then smiles evilly.)

Kodachi: [Well, this is...interesting. How shall I turn this to my
favour?]
(She laughs megalomaniacally. We cut to a hallway. Two
stormtroopers walk leisurely down it. As they pass by a
door, it suddenly pops open and two sets of hands grab the
troopers. Before the Imperials can cry out, they are dragged
into the room and there is the sounds of a struggle. It dies
out, and a few moments later, Ranma and Tofu walk out,
dressed in stormtrooper armour. They a carrying the helmets.
Tofu puts his on.)

Tofu(hollow voice, due to the helmet): Did you have to be so rough?
I could have knocked them out in more humane way.
(Ranma puts on his helmet, and speaks in the same hollow tone.)

Ranma: Humane? They were _Imperials!_ Imperials don't deserve to be
treated humanely.
(Tofu sighs.)

Tofu: Ranma, one of the first rules of the Jedi is never to confuse
who you are fighting with the real enemy. You would do well to
remember that.

Ranma: Sorry. I'm just angry about the situation is all.
(They start to walk down the hall.)

Tofu; Never let your rage rule you, Ranma. That is the second rule
of the Jedi. Come, let's find Nodoka and the others.
[Heed my words, Ranma. Please heed my words.]

Ranma: Okay. It shouldn't be too hard to sneak on to that...thing in
these.

Tofu: No, it shouldn't.
(They turn a corner and are stopped by an officer.)

Officer(angry): Where were you two? You're supposed to be at the
shuttle bay for the prisoner transport.

Ranma: Sorry, sir!
(The officer turns, and begins to walk down the hall.)

Officer: Follow me. You two should be honoured to be chosen for this
mission.

Ranma: With all due respect, sir, we've heard about these prisoners.
(The officer chuckles.)

Officer: That would explain your reluctance to be among their guards.
(They step into a lift and fall into an uncomfortable silence.
Finally the door opens, and they emerge into a shuttle bay.
Three shuttles sit idly to the side, but the one in the middle seems
active. Two troopers seem restless, as they stand at the ramp leading
into the shuttle.)

Officer: Go on. You're two of the six troopers that will be aboard.
(Ranma gulps.)

Ranma: Are you sure that's safe?

Officer: Maybe not, _soldier_, but you're her to follow orders. Now
MOVE, mister!
(Ranma and Tofu scramble up the ramp. They sit down near a small
area which is separated from the rest of the shuttle by partitions.
They wait impatiently, then a hatch in the shuttle bay opens.
Nodoka, Ukyou, Ryouga, Mousse, and Tarou are led in at blasterpoint.
Tarou is still in minotaur form. The group is led up the ramp, and
positioned in the cordoned off area. Immediately, the partitions
crackle with energy. Ranma moves closer to Nodoka as the hatch closes
and the ship takes off. Her eyes and cheeks are tear-streaked, but
her face is defiant.)

Ranma(quietly): Mom.
(Nodoka shifts slightly.)

Ranma(quietly): Tofu and me are here...we'll get you out. Don't worry.
(Nodoka's face brightens a bit.)

Ranma(quietly): We'll take over the shuttle and make a break for it.
(Nodoka-almost imperceptibly-shakes her head.)

Ranma(quietly): Okay, we'll wait, but I won't wait for long.
(Nodoka nods, and while seeming to adjust her gi, displays five fingers.)

Ranma(quietly): Hours?
(Nodoka nods and Ranma slides away. Cut to the stockade. A number
of doors are visible along the hall. Three stormtroopers watch as
Ryouga finally enters the cell. The door slides shut with a hiss,
and they walk down the hall to a large room with a centralized
panel, at which stands an officer. The second stormtrooper
approaches the officer.)

Tofu(whom it turns out to be); the prisoners are secured and I'm
ready for my shift.

Officer: What shift?

Tofu; Why, my shift in guarding them.
(He stares at the officer.)

Officer: I don't remember any...er...ah...(starts to sweat) Go
ahead, I'll inform you when it's over.

Tofu: Thank you.
(He walks into the hallway, and the other two stormtroopers leave.
Tofu stands in front of Ryouga's cell.)

Tofu(whispers): Don't worry. We'll have you out of there shortly.
(The scene shifts, and we see a shuttle landing in a bay on the
Happoudaikarin. The hatch opens, and Kodachi steps out.
Admiral Harkov is waiting.)

Harkov: Vice-Admiral Kodachi, welcome to the Happoudaikarin.

Kodachi: An excellent battle fortress, Admiral. Tell me, is it
true that the main weapon can obliterate planets?

Harkov: Indeed. It delivers five times the firepower of the entire
Imperial Navy, which barely managed to destroy Nerima.
(They start walking.)

Kodachi: Good. We should have the rebels at our feet with this
weapon. Ohohohohohoh!

Harkov: Darth Saotome should be arriving within the hour. He said
that the Emperor himself will be joining us to oversee the final
construction.

Kodachi: Nani? I've never heard of the Emperor taking any interest
in military matters. I thought he was happy on Corsecont with his
ill-gotten gains.

Harkov: Perhaps he is beginning to enjoy this "game" of galactic
conquest.

Kodachi: What will we do about Kunou?

Harkov: Lord Saotome will decide. He had better do something quickly,
though. Almost half the fleet is loyal to Kunou, and the last thing
we need is a schism.

Kodachi: Which side would the Emperor take, do you think?

Harkov: His own, as usual. Sometimes I think he comes up with all
of this himself to insure that he has the strongest commanders.

Kodachi: Hai. [Yes, Harkov, and it shall be I that proves she is
the Empire's greatest asset!]

Harkov: [I don't trust her. What's her game?]
(A stormtrooper detaches himself from the shadows and watches them
leave. Then, he stealthily begins to follow. We see Kodachi's
chambers. She is busily typing something onto a computer when a
trooper enters.)

Ranma(yes, it is Ranma): Mistress Kodachi! Admiral Harkov requires
your presence immediately!
(Kodachi stares at him.)

Kodachi: Nani?!? Why?

Ranma(lamely): Er...Kunou is...uh...attacking...

Kodachi: Yes, right away!
(She jumps up and sprints out the door.)

Ranma: [I can't believe she actually fell for that. Oh, well,
no time to worry about that now.]
(He walks over to the computer and takes off his helmet.)

Ranma: [Good thing she left this on. Saves me the trouble of
breaking the codes.] (he punches some buttons.) [Okay, I've
located the Falcon. Now, let's see...]
(Suddenly, the screen is filled by a complex diagram that is
roughly orb-shaped. Ranma studies it for a moment, then
his eyes widen.)

Ranma: [What the...] (He looks at it for a few moments, then
smiles evilly.) [Well, isn't _this_ interesting...]
(Ranma fumbles around the desk and finally picks up a data
tape. He inserts it into the computer and punches a few
more buttons.)

Ranma: Come on, come on, download already. She'll be back any min...
(As if on cue, the hatch slides open and Kodachi walks in.)

Kodachi: If I ever find that...(sees Ranma) You!
(She looks angry, then takes a closer look at Ranma. Suddenly,
she looks very pleased.)

Kodachi(dreamy tone): You!
(Ranma looks frantically about.)

Ranma: Ah...I can explain...

Kodachi: No need to explain. The power of our love has obviously
brought you to me. Now we will be together, my darling...
what was your name?
(Ranma looks surprised, then groans.)

Ranma: Please don't tell me you're one of my old droids.
(Kodachi blinks.)

Kodachi: Of course not. (Suddenly, (black)roses bloom, bubbles,
yada yada yada...) I am your future wife! We shall be with
each other throughout all adversity! And when those fools
Saotome, Kunou, and the Emperor kill each other, we shall rule
the galaxy together!

Ranma: [She's nuts!] (looks at the computer) [Hurry up, you
stupid piece of junk! I have to get out of here. You never
know, she might be contagious.]

Kodachi: Our love is like a beacon, a pulse in the night
which shall burn our enemies in their homes!

Ranma: Yeah, sure. Listen, I have to be going...er...in a minute...
(The words "Information Downloaded" appear on the monitor.)

Ranma: Yep, right now. If you'll excuse me...

Kodachi: But you can't leave! We were meant to be!

Ranma: [I've heard that before. At least Ucchan is halfway
sane...] Sorry. Maybe later?

Kodachi: Someone has poisoned your mind against me, my darling!
(She flicks her wrist and a tiny cylinder falls in her hand.
She snaps her hand and a ribbon flies from the cylinder, to
wrap around Ranma's waist.)

Kodachi: If I must, I will resort to force. I can't let
you go back to this...witch so she can further enslave you!

Ranma: [Definitely wacko.] All right lady. I don't like
fighting girls, but I see you leave me no choice.
(He whips out his lightsabre and chops off an inch or two
of ribbon. Kodachi strikes a defensive pose.)

Kodachi: I want you to know that this will hurt me more
than it will hurt you.

Ranma: Damn right.
(Ranma rushes at Kodachi, who jumps aside. Ranma stops
in mid-stride and crescent-kicks Kodachi in the stomach.
She falls back with a grimace and snaps her ribbon around
Ranma's neck. Ranma grabs it and rolls, sending Kodachi
flying. She twists in mid-air and rebounds off the wall
with her feet. Ranma jumps up, just in time for Kodachi to
shoulder-check him out from mid-air. Ranma leaps back and
swings his lightsabre down at the ribbon. Kodachi lands
and manipulates the ribbon so it is not cut. Then she whips
it around Ranma's ankle and pulls him out of the air.
Ranma yelps with pain and clutches his side. Ranma walks
over to him with a worried expression.)

Kodachi: Are you hurt, darling?
(Ranma suddenly ceases yelling and smiles.)

Ranma: Nope.
(He footsweeps Kodachi, who falls with a grunt. Ranma leaps
away, landing with the grace of an acrobat.)

Kodachi: You are strong. We will make a perfect match for
each other.

Ranma: In your dreams.
(Ranma drop kicks, put Kodachi dodges. She ducks, rolls, and
snaps her ribbon around a statuette in the corner. With a
flick of her wrist, she sends it flying at Ranma, who chops
it out of the air with his lightsabre. Kodachi begins to fling
various objects from around the room at Ranma, all of which he
slashes away.)

Ranma: [At this rate I'll never get out of here!] (chops away
a grand piano) [There has to be some way I can get closer
to her.]
(A Buick Skylark bites the dust. Suddenly, everything appears
to stop. Ranma hears an eerie voice. It is hollow and
echoing, and sounds vaguely female.)

Voice(in a ethereal tone): The Force...
Ranma: [What the...]

Voice(same tone): Use the Force, Ranma...

Ranma: [Huh?]
(The voice sighs.)

Voice(slightly annoyed): Use your emotions, feel all that is
around you. Become one with the environment.
(Abruptly everything returns to normal, and Ranma is forced to
dodge a potted plant.)

Ranma: [Use my emotions? How am I...] (chandelier goes to
chandelier heaven) [...supposed to do...]
(A look of revelation crosses his face, followed by one of
concentration. Ranma starts to dodge, weave, duck and evade
the various objects being hurled at him with ease. Each time
he does this, he comes a little closer to Kodachi. Finally,
he is so close, she can no longer toss anything. She begins
to frantically snap about with her ribbon as Ranma pinwheels
about, dodging the blows with ease. Abruptly he stops, and
with a blur of motion catches Kodachi's ribbon with two
finger and yanks it from her grasp. She is immobilized in
shock for a moment, long enough for Ranma to twirl the
ribbon at her. Within a few moments, she is hogtied. Ranma
stuffs the handle of the weapon into her mouth as a gag.)

Kodachi: Mmpt, Mpft, Mrgrfp!

Ranma: Yeah, a terrible shame, isn't it? (pats her head)
Don't worry, lady, everything will be just fine. You stay here
and relax.
(He grabs the datatape, replaces his helmet, and leaves.)

Kodachi: Mbml, Mr, Mpft! [I mustn't let him return to whoever
holds his heart from me. I must escape!]
(Ranma is walking down a corridor. He rounds a corner and
nearly runs into a trio of stormtroopers.)

Trooper1: Hey! You! What are you doing here?

Ranma: Er...I'm looking for...

Trooper1: What are you doing with that data cartridge?

Ranma: Delivering it to...er...

Trooper2: Vice-Admiral Kodachi warned us to be on the lookout
for you! (levels his blaster.) All right, hands up!
(Ranma assumes a fighting stance.)

Ranma: You'd better back up, or I'll use my secret, ancient Jedi
power!

Trooper3: Yeah, right!
(Ranma goes through some impressive katas. The stormtroopers
look less confident.)

Ranma: Okay, you asked for it! SKYWALKER JEDI SECRET TECHNIQUE!!!
(The troopers perform blocks, but it isn't necessary. Ranma
jumps up, turns around in mid-air, and lands running. The
troopers stare at his receding form for a moment, then begin
to give chase. They chase him through corridor after
corridor, pelting him with blaster fire. He dodges and
evades it with ease, but is too concerned with protecting the data
cartridge to fight them. Finally he darts around a corner and
joins in step with a column of stormtroopers that are
marching by. The three stormtroopers rush by without noticing
him. Ranma sees that he is marching down a long, wider than
usual corridor now.)

Ranma: [Great. Now I wonder where I'm going?]

(We see the Super Star Destroyer floating outside of the
Happoudaikarin. A shuttle flies from it to the station. The
shuttle touches down just as a group of stormtroopers enter
the hangar. We recognize a disguised Ranma in the back,
mainly because he is having trouble keeping in step and
because he is carrying a data cartridge instead of a blaster rifle.
The troopers assemble into two groups, leaving an aisle in the
middle. Ranma is near the back, and does his best to be
inconspicuous. Admiral Harkov walks up the aisle and stands
before the ramp. The hatch slides open, and out of it
tramps Darth Saotome. Admiral Harkov bows to him.)

Harkov: Lord Saotome, welcome to the Happoudaikarin. I trust your
trip was pleasant?

Saotome(printout): Let's dispense with the formalities. Where are
the prisoners?

Harkov: Cell Block 8C Alpha. What about your...guest?
(A commando flies out of the hatch and slams into the far wall,
unconscious.)

Saotome: I believe that's her now.
(Down the ramp strides Princess Akane. She is still wearing a
green gi and donut hairdo. Ranma starts slightly.)

Ranma: [The princess! Great! Now I can rescue her and the rest...]
(He pauses, and watches her stride down the steps.)

Ranma: [You know, she ain't that bad looking...still don't want
to be engaged to her, though...]
(Akane reaches the bottom of the ramp, and walks over to glare
at Darth Saotome.)

Akane: Okay, you lazy, beer-bellied excuse for a villain, why
have you brought me here?

Saotome: Insults? How unbecoming of you, princess.

Akane(growls): Why...am...I..._here?_

Saotome: I wanted to flaunt my new toy. Do you like it?

Akane: Fine, just great.

Saotome: That's so nice. I'm so glad you like it, considering
it will be your new home for...well...forever.

Akane: You mean you're just going to stick me here!? Why'd you
bother to kidnap me? If all you planned was to hold
me here, why go through all the trouble?

Saotome: We did have more elaborate plans, but a recent development
sort of ruined them. (new screen) Sorry for the inconvenience,
but we're not quite sure what to do with you.

Akane: How about letting me go?
(The panda chuckles/growls.)

Saotome: Funny, very funny Princess. (to Harkov, new screen) Have
her escorted to her cell. Oh, and I'll see those prisoners now.
(A group of stormtroopers detach themselves-with some reluctance-
from the crowd. They walk off with Akane. Ranma unobstrusively
follows. We see the cell block where Ryouga & Co. Are being
held. An officer stands behind the control terminal, and two
troopers guard the door leading to the cell block. Presently,
the elevator opens and Darth Saotome, Admiral Harkov, and two
commandos step out. The trooper to the right of the door starts.)

Harkov: Lord Saotome would like to see the prisoners.

Officer: Which one first?

Saotome(printout): Tell me what prisoners you have.

Officer: Two droids, a young man, a woman, and a beast.

Saotome: Show me the boy.
(The trooper to the left leaves, and returns a few moments
later with Ryouga. Saotome examines him for a minute.)

Ryouga: A big panda? What in...
(The panda shakes its head, looking angry.)

Saotome: This is _not_ the boy I want! Were there any other
young men in the group?

Officer: No, lord.

Ryouga: What about Ra...
(He stops himself. Luckily, no one seems to have been
listening to him.)

Saotome: Put this one back, and bring out the woman.
(The same trooper grabs Ryouga and yanks him up the hall.)

Ryouga: Hey! Keep your hands off me!
(There are some banging sounds. Several moments later, a
much worse-for-wear looking trooper emerges with Nodoka
in tow. Nodoka stares at the panda, who is looking at her
wistfully.)

Nodoka: A panda?

Saotome: Nodoka...

Nodoka: What the...how does it know my name?

Officer: You will address Darth Saotome with respect, rebel!
(Both Nodoka and the uninjured trooper start.)

Nodoka: Darth...Saotome?
(She looks shocked. The panda growls/sighs and nods.)

Saotome: Yes, Nodoka.

Nodoka(growls): What do you want?

Saotome: You're looking lovely today. Then again, you
always did look good when you were angry.

Nodoka: Do you plan on finishing what you started?
(The panda looks surprised.)

Saotome: What are you talking about?

Nodoka(hisses): Nerima. You sort of missed us, didn't you?
(Darth Saotome looks sad.)

Saotome: That wasn't my idea. The Emperor thought Nerima
was a threat. I never meant for you to be hurt.

Nodoka(sarcastically): Sure...Saotome, I believe you, too.

Saotome: You don't understand, dear. I didn't have a
choice. Ha...Hap...the Emperor is too powerful. One day
perhaps you will forgive me.

Nodoka: _NEVER_!!!

Saotome: Very well, Nodoka-chan.

Nodoka: Don't call me that.

Saotome: Where is Ranma?

Nodoka: I'll never tell you!
(The panda grunt/sighs and turns to Harkov.)

Saotome: Return her to her cell...gently.
(Harkov nods and the troopers lead Nodoka away.)

Saotome: Let's leave. We have work to do.
(They head to the lift. As they reach it, the door opens,
and a trooper carrying a data-cartridge comes out. He steps
aside, and offers a hesitant salute. Harkov nods, and the
two leaders and their escorts enter. The door closes. The
officer looks suspiciously at the trooper [Ranma].)

Officer: What are you doing here?
(Ranma looks around and notices that no one else is in the
room. He walks toward the officer.)

Ranma: Oh, I'm just going to free the prisoners, run over and
fetch the princess, escape the fortress and deliver vital
plans to the Rebellion.

Officer: Huh?
(Ranma smashes the officer on top of his head. He crumples,
unconscious.)

Ranma: I thought it was quite simple, but it appears to have
been too much for you to handle. (shakes his head) Some
people collapse at the slightest little problem.
(The two troopers return. Both stop as they see Ranma and the
officer. The one on the left steps forward and draws his
blaster, while the second hangs back.)

Trooper: What happened to the commander?

Ranma: He developed a severe headache. You'd better watch out,
I think it's catching.
(The second trooper pokes the first on the back of the head,
and the latter collapses in a heap. The second trooper
removes his helmet. It's Tofu.)

Tofu: Ranma, what's going on?

Ranma: We have to get out of here. I found some info that's
vital to the rebels. Let's get the others.
(We cut to a few moments later. The group, including Ukyou,
Mousse, Tofu, Nodoka, Tarou-who's back to normal,
apparently they found some hot water-, Ryouga, and Ranma, are
standing in the front room.)

Ryouga: It's about time you got here.

Ukyou: Don't blame Ranchan, he did his best to help us.
I'm sure this was his first opportunity.

Nodoka: Actually, Ranma, I thought we agreed to wait.

Ranma: There's no more time to waste.

Tofu: What happened?

Ranma: I had a run-in with a vice-admiral. I tied her up,
but it's only a matter of time before she gets free and sounds
the alarm.

Tarou: Why didn't you just kill her?

Ranma(aghast): What?!?

Tarou: You know, use that fancy lightsabre of yours to...oh,
chop her head off, pierce her heart, or her brain if you want
less blood...
(He makes some descriptive gestures. Ranma looks horrified.)

Ranma: That's hideous! I can't just kill somebody in cold blood!
(Tarou raises an eyebrow for a moment, then shrugs.)

Tarou: Then you'll have to deal with the Imperials...and her
again, most likely.

Nodoka: Whether my son should or should not have killed this
woman is not what we need to discuss.

Tofu: Yes. Right now, we must get to the Falcon and get
off this station.

Ranma: The Falcon's easy. They moved it to Deck 13,
Section 8A. Tofu knows where that is, so he can lead you.

Ukyou: Why can't you?

Ranma: Mom and I have something else we have to do.
(Nodoka arches an eyebrow.)

Nodoka: Oh?

Ranma: (grins) We're going to rescue Princess Akane.

Nodoka: You mean Akane is on this station?

Ryouga: A...Akane? Here?!?

Mousse: Where? (Starts spinning in a circle) I can't see
her! Princess! Princess!
(Ukyou whacks Mousse on the back of the head.)

Ukyou: Not _here_ here, you idiot. Here, this station.

Mousse: Oh. (Pauses) All right. Come Ukyou, we must rescue
the princess.

Ukyou: And just how do you plan to do that?

Mousse: Er...um...fight our way to her.

Ukyou(sarcastically): _Great_ idea, Mousse. Absolutely wonderful.
(Mousse strikes a competent stance.)

Mousse: Why thank you, Ukyou. I thought it was qui...
(He stops as Ukyou reaches over and taps something on his back,
shutting him down.)

Ukyou: Sarcasm is lost on him.

Ranma: Uh-huh. Okay, let's not waste any more time...

Ryouga: I'm not letting _you_ go after Akane! I wouldn't
trust you to tie your shoes, much less rescue my Akane.

Ranma: _Your_ Akane? You don't even have the guts to ask
her on a date!

Ryouga: If I had my Brella, I'd...

Nodoka(sternly): Children... (they stop and stare at their
feet.) I've decided that you will _both_ go to rescue Akane.

Ranma and Ryouga: I'm not going anywhere with that...

Ranma and Ryouga: Shut up!

Ranma and Ryouga: Be quiet, you!

Ranma and Ryouga: Grrrr...

Ranma: Mom, three people can't go. We'd be too slowed down.

Nodoka: Three people will not be going.
(The two boys stare at her in dull-witted incomprehension
for a moment, and then the meaning of her statement dawns
on them.)

Ranma: You want me...

Ryouga: You expect me...

Ranma: ...to go anywhere...

Ryouga: ...to rescue Akane...

Ranma: ...with that idiot?!?

Ryouga: ...with that loser?!?

Nodoka: Tofu must show us the way to the Falcon, and you
must sneak to Akane's cell. We only have two sets of
armour, and I don't think Tofu Wan's will fit me. You
two are the obvious the choice.

Ranma: What about Tarou?

Ryouga: Yeah, me and Tarou-kun are old friends. We'd work
a lot better together than me and Ranma.

Nodoka: One: Ranma is the only one who knows where to find
Akane. Two: we need Tarou because he knows the
Falcon better than anyone and can make sure it works.
(Ranma and Ryouga both open their mouths, but can't seem
to find anything to protest about. They glare at each other.)

Ryouga(through clenched teeth): I'll do it, but only because
Akane is depending on me.
(Ranma smirks.)

Ranma: I don't care one way or the other about the princess.
I'm only doing it because mom promised to make me into
a Jedi if I rescued her.

Tofu(under breath, to Nodoka): Was this a good idea?
(Nodoka pauses thoughtfully as the two boys continue to glare.)

Nodoka: Maybe not.
(Cut scene to a cell block much like the last one. It is
filled with a half-dozen troopers and a few officers and
commandos. The hatch door slides open and two troopers walk
in, one in slightly ill-fitting armour. An officer looks
suspiciously at the two.)


Officer: What do you two want?

Ryouga: We...er...that is...

Ranma: We came to relieve some people. Lord Saotome wants
as fresh a guard as possible on this one.

Officer: I didn't hear anything about this. I'll have to clear it.
(Ranma steps closer to him.)

Ranma(ominously): I wouldn't do that.

Officer: Oh? Why not?
(Ranma strikes a fighting stance.)

Ranma: Cause this might happen! SKYWALKER WINDMILL TECHNIQUE!
(With that, Ranma leaps up, tucking his legs under him. Like a
bird, he flips upside-down over the counter and snap-kicks the
surprised officer in the face. As the imperial falls away,
Ranma lands on the still-outstretched leg. In a flash
he leaves the ground, tucking the leg back up and snap-kicking
a commando with the other. Landing on the newly-extended leg,
he repeats the process with another officer and a trooper,
finishing with a flourish.)

Ranma(arrogantly): Next.
(They all stare at him, giving Ryouga a chance to charge. With
a cry , he slams his elbow into one's head, leaving an
indent in the mask as the trooper slumps to the floor. Ryouga
negligently jerks another off his feet with one hand and
hurls him like a rag doll into two other troopers. All three
collapse in a heap. The remaining imperials snap out of their
stupor and begin to lay about them with laser fire in a vain
attempt to hit the two martial artists. Stray shots begin to tear
up the room, sending sparks and smoke in every direction. When
it clears, Ranma and Ryouga stand, unhurt, with imperials piled
unconscious around them. A voice suddenly emanates from a console.)

Voice: Hey! What's going on up there? Respond immediately!
(Ryouga walks over to the console.)

Ryouga: Uh...we had a coolant leak. Everything's fine now.

Voice: Coolant...who is this? What's your...
(The voice cuts off as Ryouga puts his fist through the console.)

Ryouga: We're going to have some company soon. Where's Akane?
(Ranma opens the door to the cell block.)

Ranma: Down here.

Ryouga: Right!
(He heads for the elevator.)

Ranma: Ryouga?

Ryouga: (turns) What?

Ranma: _This_ way.

Ryouga: I knew that!
(He mutters under his breath and promptly makes a beeline for
the airduct. Ranma sighs, runs over, and steers Ryouga
down the corridor. He stops in front of the first cell, and
turns Ryouga to face the control room.)

Ranma: Stay. Guard.

Ryouga: Hey! I'm not your dog!

Ranma: I'm glad we cleared that up. Now...stay! Guard!
(Ryouga growls, but decides to let Ranma live. Meanwhile,
Ranma-who still has his helmet on-approaches one of the
cells. With a flick of a switch, the door slides open, and
Ranma begins to rush in.)

Ranma: Princess! You've got to come with m-hey!
(Ranma jumps back, barely avoiding a kick. He lands close to
Ryouga.)

Ranma: What do you think you're doing?
(The elevator doors burst open and a platoon of stormtroopers
pour out. They start firing up the corridor as Akane steps
from her cell.)

Ranma: You stupid...I ought to...
(A stray bolt blasts away a large grate, sending it flying
into Ryouga's head. He stumbles and falls toward the recently
opened hole.)

Ranma: I'm here to rescuuuuu...
(Ryouga lashes out a catches Ranma's arm, pulling the smaller
boy off-balance. Ranma stumbles toward the opening.)

Akane: You can tell Saoto-hey!
(Ranma's flailing hands snatch Akane, the combined weight of
the two boys pull her off her feet.)

Akane: Let go of me, you jer...
(Too late. All three tumble into the yawning hole. The
scene switches, and we see a room. The walls are a disgusting
shade of yellow, and garbage is piled high on one side. On the
other, a thin layer of stagnant water covers the filth. In
this pool lies a comatose Ranma. Nearby, Ryouga's helmet
floats, but there is no sign of him. Ranma-chan raises
herself up on both arms. She takes one shuddering breath and
is driven back underwater by a foot that just planted itself
on the back of hout much success.)

Tofu: Ranma...

Ranma-chan(turne is standing on her.)

Akane: You stupid Imperial scum! Why'd you go and throw us
down the garbage disposal?
(The person in the armour, for some reason, doesn't answer her.)

Akane: I should let you drown, you pathetic piece of flotsam...huh?
(Suddenly, Ranma-chan grabs Akane's leg and easily tosses her off.
With fluid grace, Ranma-chan leaps out of the water and lands facing
her.)

Akane: So you can fight. That's fine by me.

Ranma-chan: Oh, be quiet. (She pulls off her helmet) I'm here to
rescue you, you stupid princess.

Akane: (blinks) Rescue me? (Pauses) You mean father sent a rescue
team? I knew Ukyou and Mousse would make it!

Ranma-chan: Not exactly. Your droids ended up with my family, and
mom thought it was our duty to rescue you, so...
(She shrugs. Akane looks surprised, then suspicious.)

Akane: You mean daddy didn't send you? Who are you, anyway?

Ranma-chan: Oh, I'm Ranma Skywalker.

Akane: Skywalker. You're...a...Skywalker?

Ranma-chan: Hai.

Akane: Do you have a brother?

Ranma-chan: No.

Akane(quickly): Just you and your mom?

Ranma-chan: Yeah...so?
(Akane laughs.)

Akane: You're the last Skywalker....ha ha ha...this is rich!
(Ranma-chan looks confused.)

Ranma-chan: What is?

Akane: Oh...it's just that I'm supposed to marry the last
Skywalker...ha ha...dad'll have a hard time doing that now!
(She laughs again.)

Ranma-chan: W... (looks down at herself) Oh yeah! This is
great! The stupid curse will be useful after all!

Akane: Curse?
(Ranma-chan waves her hands frantically.)

Ranma-chan: Did I say curse? I meant...cruise, yeah, cruise!
The stupid cruise! Heh heh heh...

Akane(dubiously): Sure...
(She is interrupted by a heart-rending squeal from below.
She looks down, to see the most kawaii little black pig in all
creation clinging to her leg. It has a black and yellow
bandanna tied around it's neck. She stares at it in surprise, and
then picks it up and hugs it joyously.)

Akane: P-chan, it's you!

Ranma-chan: P-chan? Where did that... [Of course, Ryouga!
That _was_ his curse.] Er...princess, I don't...

Akane(cheerfully): Call me Akane, Ranma.

Ranma-chan: Hai. Akane, I don't think that's P-chan...Actually,
it's....
(P-chan, whom Akane has picked up, glares at Ranma-chan and
bwees angrily. Akane snuggles the pig against her cheek.)

Akane: Of course he is! Oh, I thought I had lost you, my
little P-chan, you've been gone so long...
(She hugs the pig to herself and P-chan squeals contentedly.)

Ranma-chan: Tell me, Pr....Akane, do you remember a boy named Ryouga?

Akane: Hai. He was the one who gave me P-chan, or so my sister
Kasumi told me. He was sweet, but he vanished a few years ago.
Why, do you know him?

Ranma-chan: To my regret, yes. It's just that... (stops) Never
mind. Let's get out of here.
(Akane looks around.)

Akane: Wasn't there somebody else with you when we fell down here?

Ranma-chan: Uh...er....no, there wasn't. You must have just seen
another stormtrooper.

Akane: (shrugs) Oh well. How are we supposed to get out of here?

Ranma-chan: Leave that to me.
(She walks to a hatch and examines it. Then, with a smile, she
pulls out her lightsabre and turns it on. Akane's eyes widen.)

Akane: What's that?

Ranma-chan: This? It's a lightsabre.

Akane: Yeah, I recognize it...but that's a Jedi weapon!

Ranma-chan(proudly): Of course it is. I _am_ a Jedi...
(amends) Well, Jedi in training.

Akane(incredulously): You're joking!
(Ranma-chan swings the lightsabre twice at the door, sending up
a shower of sparks.)

Ranma-chan: No, I'm really gonna be a Jedi, that's why I rescued
you. If I do, my mother promised to train me as a Jedi.
(She kicks the door out.)

Akane(sarcastically): Well, I'm glad to see you only had the most
noble of intentions.
(P-chan glares at Ranma-chan.)

Ranma-chan: Come on, or would you rather stay here for a while?

Akane(grumpily): All right, let's go.
(They run out. Cut to the interior of the Hibiki Falcon. Ukyou
is dumping stormtroopers out of a disposal, while Tarou is under
a set of pipes. Nodoka and Tofu stand guard at the hatch as Mousse
sits, looking worried.)

Nodoka: How's the ship coming, Tarou?
(Sparks fly from where Tarou is working.)

Tarou: Good. We should be ready to go in five or six minutes.

Nodoka: [Hurry, Ranma...]
(We see Ranma-chan and Akane running down a hall, pursued by a horde
of angry imperials. Ranma-chan is dodging some bolts and reflecting
others with her lightsabre.)

Ranma-chan: What'd you do that for?
(Akane ducks a bolt.)

Akane: I had to save P-chan!
(Said pig is currently perched on her shoulder, bweeing
angrily at somebody-Ranma, the imperials, himself-it's hard to
tell.)

Ranma-chan: Who cares about that stupid pet pig? He wandered
into that Admiral's quarters, you should have left him
there!
(Akane grabs P-chan protectively as Ranma-chan evades another bolt.)

Akane: No way! I'm not losing P-chan so soon after we were reunited!
Besides, I taught that admiral a lesson he won't soon forget!

Ranma-chan: Yeah, and got half the station chasing us in the process.
Stupid tomboy...

Akane(angrily): What did you call me?

Ranma-chan: I called you a kawaiikune tomboy!

Akane: Ranma no baka!
(She punts her through a door as P-chan squeals happily. Ranma
sails through the door...and out over a _deep_ chasm. With a
cry, she flails her arms frantically and manages to latch on to
the edge of the tiny platform. Akane storms in and slams her
fist into the control pod next to the door, smashing it to pieces.
The door slams in front of the horde.)

Akane(furiously): You take that back!
(Ranma-chan, though still hanging for her life, makes a face at Akane.)

Ranma-chan: I will not, you tomboy!

Akane(tightly controlled voice): I am _not_ a tomboy, you baka.
Take it _back_!
(Ranma-chan is slowly pulling herself back up.)

Ranma-chan: Oh, did I offend her Royal Highness? I'm so sorry if
I hurt your worship's feelings!
(The door pops up a bit-just enough to see the feet of the troopers
on the other side. Akane starts to steam.)

Akane: Listen you...you idiot, we have better things to do then fight.

Ranma-chan: Hai. So just agree with me and all is forgiven.

Akane: Ranma, you _jerk_!!!
(She reaches back and plucks a lightsabre-like object out of
nowhere. However, when it turns on it is revealed to be
something different. It starts out like one, being exactly
like a greenish lightsabre for about two feet, but balloons into a
cylindrical, bulky structure on the end. The whole thing looks
absurdly like a mallet.)

Akane: Moron!
(She swings the 'mallet' like a golf club and knocks Ranma-chan
clear across the chasm. She lands on the opposite
platform with a groan while P-chan bwees/cheers.)

Ranma-chan(under breath): Stupid kawaiikune tomboy, glad I'm
not going to have to marry her. (she looks over at
Akane and P-chan and shouts) Good move, Princess. Now what are
you going to do?
(Akane looks around; the 'mallet' has mysteriously disappeared.)

Akane: Huh? Oh, great.

Ranma-chan: Don't worry. There's a bridge, and the controls on
this side aren't broken.
(Cut scenes, it is apparently later. Ranma-chan and Akane-
with P-chan-tiptoe down a darkened corridor. Ranma stops
Akane with a gesture and looks around the corner. She turns
back and smiles evilly.)

Akane: What is it?

Ranma-chan: Stormtroopers...

Akane(dubiously): How many?

Ranma-chan: About fifty. (cracks her knuckles) Stay here.
I can take 'em.

Akane: Hai, but they'd probably be able to alert the station
and we'd be right back where we started.
(Ranma-chan's face falls.)

Ranma-chan: Damn. You're right, we'll have to use subterfuge.
(chuckles) Hand me that helmet.
(The stormtroopers stand around looking worried and impatient.
A few are examining their weapons and others are tapping their
feet. Abruptly a stormtrooper runs around the corner and almost
charges head-first into the mob. The trooper stops.)

Ranma-chan(making voice as deep as possible): _There_ you are!

Trooper1: What...of course we're here. Where else would we be?

Ranma-chan: Your com-link must be broken. We've been trying to
reach you for fifteen minutes now!

Trooper2(excited): Why?

Ranma-chan: We've got them cornered in sector 23F! Hurry, they
need you!

Trooper1: You heard'em, boys. Let's move out!
(The stormtroopers run off down a side hal. Ranma-chan pulls
off her helmet and smirks. Akane comes up behind her.)

Akane: That was pretty good. I didn't think you had it in you.

Ranma-chan: Hey! I got you out of that prison, didn't I?

Akane: Hai. No time to pat yourself on the back though.
Once they get to that section they'll figure out pretty quickly
that they were tricked, and who tricked them.

Ranma-chan: By the time they figure that out we should be long
gone. Let's hurry.
(The two girls-and pig-begin running down the hall. Shift to
the hangar bay in which the Hibiki Falcon sits. Ranma-chan,
Akane, and P-chan peer into it from the safety of a darkened
hallway. The room appears to be deserted.)

Akane: Looks safe...

Ranma-chan: I wonder where mom and the others are.

P-chan: Bwee! Bwee!
(He jumps up and down on Akane's shoulder and tries to point
at the hatch.)

Ranma-chan: What is it? (follows P-chan's gaze and sees a
flash of red) That's her! C'mon, Princess, let's go.
(she starts across the bay, Akane following more cautiously.
They are halfway to the Falcon when Nodoka and Tofu exit.
Ranma-chan waves at them.)

Ranma-chan: Mom! I've got her!

Nodoka: Ranma? Oh yes. Good, you have the princess. Where is...

Ranma(cutting her off): P-chan's right here, mom.
(She points at the pig. Nodoka nods.)

Nodoka: Okay. Tarou's fixed the hyperdrive, so we can leave
immediately.
(They run up the ramp. Tofu looks strangely at P-chan, but
quickly follows.)

Akane(upon entering): Ukyou! Mousse!

Ukyou: Akane!
(The two girls...er...girl and droid embrace.)

Mousse: Princess! You're all right, I'm so pleased!

Akane: Good to see you too.
(Tarou comes down from the cockpit.)

Tarou: She's all ready... (sees the three newcomers.) We
have guests. (to Akane) I assume you're the princess they
wanted to rescue.

Akane: Hai.

Ukyou: Here, Ran-chan, let me get you some hot water.
(Ranma-chan starts to sweat, and waves her arms frantically.)

Ranma-chan: No that's fine! It can wait, heh heh heh!

Ukyou: All right, Ranchan. We'll get out of this place first.
(An external view shows the Falcon rise off it's landing struts
and turn towards the air lock. Alarm klaxons start to wail
and the spacebay doors begin to slide shut. With it's
thrusters glowing bright white, the ship rockets toward the
rapidly shrinking opening. At the last moment it is forced to
turn on it's side to make it out, and the top-mounted radar dish is
shorn off because of the tight fit.)

Ranma-chan: We made it!

Akane: All right!

Mousse: Dojo, here we come.

Ranma-chan: Yeah, and since Ryouga's not steering, we'll be sure
to get there this time.

P-chan(angrily): Bweee! Bweee! BBWWEE!

Akane: Calm down, P-chan. (Pets him) She wasn't insulting you.
(Nodoka casts a glance at Ranma-chan.)

Ranma-chan(mouths): Later.
(Meanwhile, in a command centre much like one of a Star
Destroyer, Saotome, Kodachi, and Harkov sit at the
command platform.)

Harkov: The tractor beam is ready, lord. We can have
them again in a matter of minutes.

Saotome(printout): Let them go.

Kodachi: You can't be serious! We can't let Ra...them get
away!

Saotome: Calm yourself, Vice-Admiral. They will not escape
from us.
(Outside, the Falcon flashes off into hyperspace.)

Saotome: And soon the rebels shall be ours as well.
(growl/laughs)
(It is later aboard the Hibiki Falcon. Tarou is somewhere
up front. The lights are low, presumably because Akane is
sleeping soundly on one of the couches, P-chan cradled in her
arms. Ukyou and Mousse have turned themselves off in
the corner. Ranma-chan sits on a hammock, glaring at P-chan.
Nodoka is lying on a hammock below her so...daughter.
Tofu, who had been hovering protectively near Akane, pulls
some sheets up to her neck. He walks over to another
Hammock near the Skywalkers, but stops as he notices Ranma's
expression.)

Tofu: What's troubling you, Ranma?

Ranma-chan: Look at that...that slime. Lying there as if he
really is just a pet pig.

Nodoka: He loves her, Ranma. Leave him be. (Ranma-chan
looks surprised that her mother is awake.) He'll tell her
the truth when he feels the time is right. What I'm more
interested in is when _you_ plan on telling her the truth.
(Ranma-chan chuckles softly.)

Ranma-chan: Never.
(Tofu arches his eyebrow.)

Tofu: Oh, really? And why is that?

Ranma-chan: I've just figured out the best way to get out
of this stupid marriage.

Nodoka: And that is...?

Ranma-chan: This king guy can't marry his daughter to another
girl, right? All I have to do is remain a girl until we
leave Dojo and voila-problem solved.

Nodoka: There's only one flaw in your plan, Ranma.

Ranma-chan: What?

Nodoka: We're not leaving Dojo.

Ranma-chan: Nani?! But what about my training?

Tofu: We can train you just as well on Dojo as anywhere
else, but we can't help the rebels as much from anywhere else.

Ranma-chan: You're going to help the rebels?

Nodoka: We are Jedi Ninja. It is our duty.

Ranma-chan: (sighs) Fine, we'll stay on Dojo. I'll
find some other way to get out of it.

Nodoka: And the curse?

Ranma-chan: I'll break it to them later. For now,
I'll go to Dojo and deliver those plans. I should be
able to make a tidy sum off them.

Tofu: What are those plans?

Ranma-chan: (laughs) Just something that'll really
throw a wrench into the Empire's schemes.
(Cut to an exterior view of the Falcon-in pretty bad
shape-orbiting a fair sized red gas giant. One of the
planet's moons comes into view. It looks a lot like
what we would recognize as the earth. We see the Falcon
landing on a circular landing pad. A long, wide walkway
stretches toward an amazing facsimile of Japan's Imperial
Palace. The walk is covered with soldiers in greyish
clothes and oversized bird-like helmets. At the fore of
this group are two figures. One is a tall, middle-aged man
with long black hair and a moustache. He has a thin gold
crown on and wears flowing black robes. His eyes are
watering. Next to him stands a medium-height, elegant young
woman with long brown hair and a beatific smile. The hatch
opens and the ramp lowers. Before it even touches the
ground, Akane barrels out and runs up to the man.)

Akane: Daddy!
(She hugs him fiercely.)

Soun: My darling Akane! (sobs) I'd thought I'd lost you!
I am so happy you have been returned to us!
(Akane pulls herself away.)

Akane: I've missed you, dad! (turns to the woman)
Oneesan! I'm so happy to see you again!

Kasumi: So am I, Akane. I trust you had a pleasant trip?

Akane: It's so great to be home...
(A throat clears behind her. She turns to see the rest of
the group standing by the Falcon. Ryouga is normal and Ranma
is a girl.)

Akane: Oh, yeah! These are the people who rescued me.
(Soun nods approvingly.)

Soun: (to the droids) Ah, the faithful droids of my daughter.
It is good to see you.
(Mousse bows to a guard.)

Mousse: Your highness.

Ukyou: Domo arigato, my lord.

Soun: (to Ryouga) I...know...you....

Ryouga: Ryouga Solo, sir. I used to hang around here.
This is my partner, Tarou. (indicates Tarou)

Soun: A pleasure to see you again and... (turns to a smiling
Nodoka and stare in shock) NODOKA! Nodoka Skywalker!
My goodness, it is you! I thought I'd never see you again
after Nerima's destruction!

Nodoka: We Skywalkers aren't that easy to kill.
(Ranma-chan stares at her mother in shock.)

Ranma-chan: Mom? You _know_ this guy?
(Soun laughs.)

Soun: Why shouldn't the queen of Nerima know me, child?

Ranma-chan, Ryouga, Ukyou, Mousse, and Akane(shocked): _QUEEN_?!?

Nodoka(nods): That is correct. Sorry to deceive you. I
am Queen Nodoka the fourth of Nerima.

Ranma-chan: "Very distantly related" my foot! Why didn't you tell
me?

Nodoka: You're too young to understand. When you are finished your
training, I will explain it to you.
(Soun looks at Ranma-chan.)

Soun: This is Ranma? But I thought he...er...she was a boy.

Ranma-chan: It's kind of complicated...

Soun: (sighs) Oh dear. I'm afraid, then, that Akane will
not marry as I planned....and I was so looking forward to it...
(turns to Tofu) And who might this be?

Tofu:Tofu wan Kanobi, Jedi Ninja, and more importantly a
healer and (sees Kasumi) a...and...a l-lovely day, isn't it?
I...I don't believe we've met...
(Tofu walks over to Kasumi, calmly running over Ranma-chan in
the process.)

Kasumi: Kasumi Tendo of Dojo, kind sir.

Tofu: My...what a lovely name....what was it again?

Kasumi: (giggles) Kasumi.
(We switch to a simple, yet elegant room. In the centre of
the room, Soun, Akane, and her rescue party-minus Tofu- sit
around a circular table.)

Soun: Again I would like to express my deepest (sob) thanks
(sob) for your help. (Wipes at eyes) You requested this
private audience, what is it you wanted to show me?
(Ranma-chan eyes her mother warily, but pulls out a data-cartridge.)

Ranma-chan: This.
(She slides the cartridge into a slot on the table. Instantly,
a large 3-D schematic of the Happoudaikarin appears above the
table.)

Ranma-chan: This is the Happoudaikarin, the Empire's ultimate
weapon.

Soun(sobbing): H...how can my rebels ever hope to defeat
that? Waaaaah! We're doomed! Waaaaah!
(Ranma-chan waves her arms frantically.)

Ranma-chan: Calm down! I found a way to destroy it!

Everyone: You _what_?!?

Ranma-chan: Hai.
(Taps some buttons on a terminal in front if her; instantly
the plans simplify until only one conduit-which extends from
the surface to the centre-is visible.)

Ranma-chan: This is a coolant release tube, but we can use
it. If we were to send a photon charge down it, it would set
off a chain reaction that would destroy the entire base.

Soun: You mean (sob) we still have (choke) a chance?

Tarou: A little too easy.

Ukyou: What?

Tarou: It's all too easy. According to these plans, the
Happoudaikarin has a snowball's chance in hell of repulsing this
kind of attack. It's like the Empire wants us to destroy it.
(Nodoka raises her eyebrow.)

Nodoka: Why would the Empire want to destroy their most powerful
weapon?

Mousse: I guess that's a secret for another day.

Nodoka: Speaking of secrets....Ranma?
(Ranma-chan begins to sweat and looks for a way out...but
doesn't find one.)

Ranma-chan: (sigh) Okay, I'll tell them, but in my own way.
(to everyone) Wait here, I have something to show you.
(She leaves.)

Akane: What was that all about? (shrugs) Oh well. I need
to take a bath, I reek. Don't start without me.
(She leaves before anyone can stop her.)

Nodoka: I have a _bad_ feeling about this.
(We see a bathroom. Ranma-chan steps into a bathtub, causing
steam to rise out of it. When the steam clears, Ranma is male.)

Ranma: [How am I going to break this to them?]
(We see Akane entering the exterior bathroom. She takes off
her filthy gi and walks over to a towel rack. Ranma is still
in the tub.)

Ranma: [I've got to make sure that guy doesn't force that
engagement on me and Akane. I've got enough problems with
Ukyou and Ryouga already. At least Ucchan's nice...]
(Akane walks up to a paper door, humming quietly to herself
with a towel draped loosely over her arm. Inside, Ranma
starts to get up.)

Ranma: [I'm sure I'll come up with...]
(His train of thought is interrupted by the door sliding open.
Shift back to the conference room. The group is discussing
the plans which spin slowly above the table.)

Soun: Yes, a group of corvettes should be able to sneak in
long enough for us to release the necessary fighters.

Tarou: And the Happoudaikarin's turbolaser turrets shouldn't
be able to lock onto them.

Nodoka: Yes, but we'll have to worry about the TIE fighters
and... (she is interrupted by a blood-chilling scream) What
the...
(Akane runs into the room, a towel wrapped around her body.
She grabs the edge of the steel table and rips it from the
floor with apparently no effort.)

Akane: I'LL _KILL_ HIM!!!!!

Nodoka(calmly): Who, dear?

Akane: That sleazoid baka _HENTAI_ freak in the bathroom!

Nodoka: Oh, dear. (sounds rather Kasumiesque) What did this...
person look like?
(Ranma appears in the doorway, wearing his red tunic and
black pants.)

Ranma: Probably like me.

Akane: It's him! DIE YOU HENTAI FREAK!!!!!
(She flings the table at a startled Ranma. Nodoka thrusts
her palm at the flying table and it veers off course, to slam
into the wall, about three feet away from Ranma.)

Nodoka: You will _not_ hurt my son!

Akane and Soun: Your _what_?!?

Ranma(recovering): It's a long story...
(Cut to later. The table has been duct-taped back together
and everyone sits around it. Akane is in another green gi.)

Akane(incredulously): Jyusenkyou! You expect me to believe
that?

Nodoka: We can prove it.

Soun(crying with joy): So you really _do_ have a son, Nodoka!
Now, as Genma and I decided so long ago, our houses can be
united. If only my darling Nabiki was here to see Akane and
Ranma wed!

Akane/Ranma(simultaneously): I'm not marrying that hentai/tomboy!

Ranma: I am not a hentai!

Akane: You saw me in the nude, you lech!

Ranma: Hey! _You_ walked in on _me_! You're the hentai!

Akane: At least I don't masquerade as a member of the opposite sex!

Ranma: I only did that so I wouldn't have to marry a stupid
violent kawaiikune tomboy like you!

Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!!!
(She leaps across the table at Ranma, but stops in mid-air.
Nodoka gestures and she returns to her seat.)

Nodoka: I told you that there will be no violence. We have a
common enemy. Let's not waste energy in pointless fighting.
(Akane and Ranma shut up, but continue to glare at each
other. Suddenly, there is an irritating beeping. Soun-still
wiping tears from his eyes-leans forward and touches a pad.
On the screen, a smallish, furtive man with dark circles
under his eyes appears.)

Soun: (sob) What is it, Commander Gosunkugi?

Gosunkugi: I thought you might like to know that an Imperial
force is approaching Dojo. They have a gigantic station
with them. It looks hopeless, we're all going to die.

Soun: Station? Show me.
(Gosunkugi's face is replaced by a fuzzy picture of the
Happoudaikarin, accompanied by the Black Rose. They are
heading directly for Dojo.)

Ranma(shocked): The Happoudaikarin!

Ryouga: How'd they find us? I thought Dojo's location was,
well, secret.

Tarou: Tracking device.

Ryouga: Tarou-kun, would you care to clarify?

Tarou: It's quite simple, Solo-kun. They must have planted
a tracking device on the Falcon.

Ryouga: Great. Well, it looks like we're going to test
that game plan sooner than we thought.

Soun(total tears breakdown): Waaahhhh! We're going to be
destroyed! Waaahhhh!
(Ranma stands up.)

Ranma: Oh no, we're not! I won't go down without a fight!

Ryouga: That was _so_ corny...
(Ranma shakes his fist at Ryouga.)

Ranma: Listen, you...

Nodoka: Children, please. (to Soun) Soun, we have to defend
Dojo. Where are your fighters?

Soun: Yes! We shall defeat the Happoudaikarin! As rebels,
it is our duty!
(We see the inside of the Happoudaikarin's control room.
A large viewscreen shows Dojo slowly coming into range.
Darth Saotome and Admiral Harkov stand on the central
platform while Kodachi's face is on a screen to one side.)

Kodachi: I officially apologize for my earlier statements,
Lord Saotome. Your plan was brilliant.

Saotome(printout): Arigato, your apology is accepted.

Harkov: Look. (points at the screen) Three corvettes
rounding the planet in strike formation.

Kodachi: Ohhohohohohoho! The puny rebels think they are
a match for us! Fear not, the Black Rose shall intercept.
(She cuts off.)

Harkov: Well, Lord Saotome, do you think the rebels will be
successful?

Saotome: Let's hope so.
(Shift to the three Rebel corvettes. Surrounding them are
several squadrons of X and Y-wings. Out in front is the
Hibiki Falcon. On the bridge of one of the corvettes sits
Nodoka. Next to her stands Akane and the two droids. Akane
is fuming.)

Akane: I can't believe dad stuck me in this stupid carriage
while that baka Ranma gets to fly an X-wing.

Nodoka: Your father is only worried about you. Don't worry,
Ranma will be fine.

Ukyou: Oh, yes. Ranchan is an excellent pilot. I only wish
I was out there with him...(sigh)

Akane: What makes you think I'm worried about that baka hentai
freak?!?
(Nodoka smiles to herself.)

Nodoka: My son is not a hentai, Akane. Just...unusual.
(Gosunkugi's face appears on a viewscreen.)

Nodoka: Yes?

Gosunkugi: I just thought I'd tell you that an Imperial
ship is on an intercept course. It's much bigger and more
powerful than ours, and will probably destroy us and than
the Rebellion will be doomed. Woe is us!
(Nodoka blinks.)

Nodoka: Is he always like this?

Mousse: (to a tech) Yes, he's the resident doomsayer.

Nodoka: I see. Get Ryouga and Wedge on the screen.
(Gosunkugi's face is replaced by that of a X-wing pilots.
A nearby screen shows Ryouga and Tarou in the cockpit of
the Hibiki Falcon.)

Ryouga: We see it, Nodoka. Don't worry, the Falcon will
run interference.

Nodoka: Good. Wedge, take Blue and help him out.

Wedge: Hai. All right, all wings report in.
(We see a bunch of X-wing pilots that identify themselves
with "Blue" and than a number. After about five or six, we
see Ranma. He's in a standard X-wing pilot's outfit and sitting
in a cockpit.)

Ranma: Blue Four reporting in. Let's kick some Imperial butt!
(On the bridge of the Black Rose, Kodachi stands with an aide.)

Aide: Vice-Admiral, a squad of fighters are approaching on a
strike path.

Kodachi: Ohohohohoho! So the lamb thinks to distract the
lion with bugs! Release our TIE's. I will teach these
insolent rebels what it means to face Kodachi Kunou, the
greatest warrior in the Empire!
(She laughs megalomaniacally, and the aide steps back in
fear. We see TIE fighters streaming from the Black Rose and
the X-wings of Blue squadron moving to intercept.)

Blue Six: Here they come!

Wedge: Clear them as quickly as possible! We have to get
to that station before it can fire.

Ranma: Hah! It doesn't stand a chance!

Ryouga: Get us a clear shot at that ship and you won't be
worrying about it for long.
(We see a fantastic combat. X-wings and TIE's criss-cross
in intricate and deadly patterns, exchanging red, blue, and
green fire. The Falcon weaves and dodges through this,
spraying firepower from it's laser turrets. As we watch, one
particular X-wing stands out from the others in it's superior
dodging and ability to dish out punishment. After one
particular deadly turn in which it strafed two TIE's into
Imperial heaven, we see Ranma {duh} in it's cockpit.)

Ranma: Yahoo! This is fun!

Wedge: Don't get cocky, kid. That capital's still there.

Ryouga: Not for long.
(The Falcon breaks free from the dogfight and flies toward
the Black Rose. Aboard the Black Roses bridge, Kodachi
laughs as she sees the Falcon on her viewscreen.)

Kodachi: Destroy that ship. Ohohohohohoho!
(Suddenly the thorn-like protrusions along the Black Rose's
hull begin to spray out a deadly rain of turbolaser fire. The
Falcon dodges this with ease while continuing it's attack run.
In the cockpit, Ryouga grabs the joystick to his side and
pushes the trigger.)

Ryouga: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU CANNON!!!
(The energy beam lances from the fore of the Falcon. It
strikes the tip of the Black Rose and plays down it's hull
for a few hundred feet before disappearing. The X-wings
and Falcon pull away from the oddly-shaped capital ship as
explosions begin to rock it about like a child's toy. Finally,
the entire ship blows in half and the different sections begin
to float apart. A resounding cheer goes up on the rebel com-
channel. On the bridge of the lead corvette, Akane, the
crew, and the droids begin to celebrate.)

Akane: All right! That'll teach them to mess with us!

Nodoka: We're not out of the fire yet, Akane. The real
challenge is just ahead.
(On the bridge of the Black Rose, fire and chaos reign.
Kodachi picks herself off the floor and wipes some blood from
her mouth.)

Kodachi: You are good. I underestimated you once, rebel scum.
I will not do so again! (strikes a defiant pose) This I
swear! I, Kodachi Kunou, shall have my ven...
(A piece of conduit falls from the ceiling and hits Kodachi
on the head, knocking her out immediately. Aboard the
Happoudaikarin, Saotome and Harkov implacably watch the
destruction of the Black Rose. They are joined by an older
man in an Imperial Admiral's uniform.)

Admiral: The rebel forces are closing on this base, sir.

Saotome(printout): Deploy our TIE's and load the main cannon.
(to Harkov, new screen) Come with me. (to the Admiral, new
screen) Admiral Marquis, you're in command until we return.

Marquis: Hai, you can count on me.
(The rebel fleet head toward the Happoudaikarin. On the
bridge of the lead corvette, Nodoka, Akane, and the droids
watch the gigantic station come into view.)

Akane(gasps): I never realized it was so big!

Nodoka: Hai. Channel the forward shields to maximum output,
and prepare the turbolasers to repel a fighter assault.
Don't forget to stay out of that thing's range.
(Gosunkugi appears on the main screen. Everyone sighs.)

Gosunkugi: I thought it would be a good idea to tell you that
another ship is exiting hyperspace. It matches the config-
uration of a Bokken-class destroyer. About three times more
powerful than all of our ships combined and launching it's
entire complement of fighters. I hope ours will be a nice
memorial service...

Nodoka: Don't you ever have good news?
(Gosunkugi thinks for a moment, and then brightens slightly.)

Gosunkugi: Today is my birthday... (face falls) I'm missing
the party on Dojo even as we speak.

Nodoka: Never mind. (sighs) Put that ship on the screen.
(Instantly, Gosunkugi's face is replaced by the Blue Thunder.)

Nodoka: Nani?!? What's Kunou doing here?

Akane: Come after me, no doubt.
(We see a group of TIE's pulling away from the Blue Thunder.
In the lead is an unusually designed TIE with four solar
panels instead of two. Inside, we see Kunou in a flight suit.
General Sasuke is on a screen in the corner.)

Sasuke: Master, do not think me disrespectful but...may I
inquire as to why we are here?

Kunou: We are here for a dual purpose, my good Sasuke. One,
to rescue those unfortunate fools who stayed with that
traitorous vermin Harkov, and two, to rescue the fair Akane
and take her to the safety of the Empire once more.

Sasuke: Hai, Master Kunou. We are coming up to the rebel
corvettes.

Kunou: Destroy them, Sasuke. There is an admiralty in it
for you.

Sasuke(excited): Hai, Master!
(On the bridge of the lead corvette, the scene is a study
in controlled chaos. The Blue Thunder is growing larger in
the display.)

Tech: Imperial warship entering attack posture. It will
be in range in thirty seconds.

Nodoka: Evasive manoeuvres! Angle the deflector shields
and open fire!
(The three corvettes attempt to evade the turbolaser volleys
of the larger ship without much success. Their shields seem
to be holding, but all return fire is apparently useless.
In the meantime, the fighters duke it out with increasingly
frantic exchanges. The Hibiki Falcon weaves and dodges its
way through the fire, frequently taking out a TIE in passing.
In the cockpit, Ryouga looks worried.)

Ryouga: Are you sure the cannon's off-line?

Tarou: Hai, that last shot fried the weapon systems. We're
lucky the turrets are still operating.

Ryouga: We need some way to get that Bokken off the corvettes.

Tarou: Unless you plan on ramming it, I don't see much that we
can do.

Ryouga: Good idea! Let's bring the ship in close to the hull
and make for the bridge.

Tarou: Solo-kun, are you _crazy_?

Ryouga: No. I _won't_ let those butchers hurt Akane! (grits
teeth) I won't let her die!

Tarou: This is insane!

Ryouga: There are escape pods in the back, Tarou-kun.

Tarou: No, I'll stick it out. It's still crazy, but I'll do
it. After all, I still owe you...
(The Falcon darts in to the hull of the Blue Thunder and
begins to skim along it's surface, dodging turbolaser fire and
taking potshots at scattered turrets. Suddenly, however, it's
hit from behind by a blast of laser fire and knocked aside.
Kunou's fighter pulls in behind the Falcon and begins to hack
away at it with ease. In the cockpit, Ryouga makes
increasingly desperate manoeuvres, all to no avail.)

Ryouga: I can't shake him!

Tarou: He's good. I've never seen a fighter like that before.

Ryouga: We can worry about how good or bad it is later. For
now, lets concentrate on surviving.
(The ship rocks again. Inside his cockpit, Kunou smiles as he
watches another shot connect with the Falcon.)

Kunou: Now I shall have my revenge upon you for destroying my
Blue Thunder! The vengeance of heaven is slow but suuuuuuu...
(Kunou's ship is suddenly knocked of the Falcon's tail by a
dual burst of laser fire from a passing X-wing.)

Kunou: Nani? A cowardly sneak attack! I shall destroy this whelp.
(In the Falcon, Tarou looks at the monitors in surprise.)

Tarou: What the...? Somebody just got him off our tail!
(Suddenly, the radio crackles to life and Ranma's voice comes
from it.)

Ranma: Hey, you two.

Ryouga: Ranma! Is that you?
Ranma: Hai. Just let me deal with this loser. You two continue
on your way.

Ryouga: A...arigato, Ranma.
(In the TIE's cockpit, Kunou looks enraged.)

Kunou: Stand still and face me!
(We see a deadly dogfight between Ranma's X-wing and Kunou's
TIE. The ships flash back and forth, swirling about like
hornets while exchanging laser fire. Finally it becomes
evident that Ranma's bolts have done almost nothing while
his own craft is severely damaged. Ranma quickly pulls away,
dodging another stream of fire from Kunou's superior craft.)

Kunou: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You may run, wretch, but you shall
not escape the wrath of Tatewaki Kunou!

Ranma: (grits teeth) You haven't beaten me yet.
(Ranma dodges another blast and rockets to the right. However,
Kunou puts himself on Ranma's tail with a series of complex
manoeuvres.)

Kunou: Now, cur, you _die_!
(In his cockpit, Ranma smiles and flicks a switch. With a
flash, the X-wings engines cut off and he stops. Kunou passes
him and Ranma reactivates his engines. He takes up firing
position. Kunou sees this on his monitor and laughs.)

Kunou: [He won't even dent my shields with those puny weapons.
Let him have his fun.]

Ranma: [He isn't even going to attempt to dodge. All right!]
TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN FIRING TECHNIQUE!
(Ranma's fingers begin to blur as he presses the firing trigger
repeatedly. His laser begins to fire faster and faster until
only a blur of green energy is visible coming from the front of
his ship. It strikes the unsuspecting Kunou like a neutron
bomb. In a flash, Kunou's craft is sent spiralling away,
three of his four solar panels missing and the rest a flaming
wreck.)

Kunou: Arrrr! You were lucky this time, whelp, but I'll be b...
(An instrument to his side explodes, sending a chunk of metal
into the side of Kunou's thick skull. Kunou's head bounces
around the cockpit for a moment before he falls unconscious.
Ranma's X-wing does a spin and floats around in a bizarre
impersonation of a dance. Meanwhile, the Hibiki Falcon is still
running the gauntlet. It comes up the Bokken's disk-like bulge
and begins flying towards a protrusion on the upper edge.)

Ryouga: Here we go!
(Tarou only grunts in response. On the bridge of the Blue
Thunder, Sasuke looks worried.)

Sasuke: Master Kunou has been shot down. This is not good.

Tech: General! A ship is on a ramming course with the bridge!

Sasuke: Aaaagh! Pull us away! Pull us away!
(The Falcon flashes up towards the bridge, only to find that its
target has moved. With a *klang*, it bounces away and zooms up.)

Ryouga: We missed!

Tarou: Yeah, but I think we helped just as much.
(On the bridge of the lead corvette, most of the staff lies
around unconscious, and Akane and the droids have been forced
to help out.)

Akane: The Blue Thunder is breaking off its attack and performing
evasive manoeuvres!
(Nodoka, who had been holding her arm, looks up, surprised.)

Nodoka: What?

Ukyou: It's the Falcon. Ryouga forced them to back off.

Nodoka: Good. Now pull us away from that ship, and inform Blue
squadron to destroy that station!

Ukyou, Akane, and Mousse: Hai!
(The three corvettes back away from the Blue Thunder as the
remaining three members of Blue squadron make for the
Happoudaikarin. Aboard the station, Admiral Marquis watches all
this with a bemused expression on his face.)

Tech: The rebel corvettes have moved within range of our main cannon, sir.

Marquis: Good. Target the rear one and prepare to fire.
(On the bridge of the lead corvette, Nodoka is talking to Wedge-who
is on one of the screens.)

Nodoka: The vent is only two feet wide, so you'll have to make the
shot perfect.

Wedge: Hai!

Nodoka: Good luck.
(Wedge's face winks off the screen, to be replaced by Gosunkugi. Nodoka
sighs.)

Nodoka: What is it _now_?

Gosunkugi: I thought you should know that the station is doing
something unusual. Probably some ultimate weapon that will
destroy us all.

Nodoka: Nani? Put that station on screen!
(We see the Happoudaikarin on the screen. The large, circular
depression is opening, and the entire station is rotating so
that the opening faces them.)

Akane: Uh oh.

Ukyou: You can say that again.

Mousse: What's wrong?
(On the Happoudaikarin, Admiral Marquis watches the corvettes and
smiles evilly.)

Tech: Main cannon ready to fire.

Marquis: Well then...HAPPOUDAIKARIN ULTIMATE WEAPON FIRE!!!
(The station rocks and heaves and makes an absurd amount of noise.
Then, the whole belches forth a...fuse bomb. Granted, a _BIG_ fuse
bomb, but a fuse bomb nonetheless. The bomb flies merrily through
space, it's fuse getting smaller and smaller, until just as the
fuse burns out it connects with the rear corvette...and explodes,
taking the corvette and several dozen fighters with it. It also
sends out a shockwave that knocks the other corvettes spiralling away.
On the rebel bridge, everyone falls about and flail for their
positions. Ukyou, who is the first to regain her seat, examines a
monitor.)

Ukyou: The Merrimet has been destroyed, and all of Yellow squadron
with it.
(Nodoka sits down in her command chair.)

Nodoka: Damage report.
(Akane runs over to a terminal, as the tech responsible for this is
unconscious.)

Akane: All the weapons are off-line, shields are down, and our hull
integrity is at thirty-five percent.
Nodoka: What about the engines? We have to get out of that things
range.

Akane: Main and secondary thrusters are...off-line.

Ukyou: Wonderful. At least the comm is down so that Gosun-guy
can't depress us anymore.
(The scene cuts to the four fighters of Blue squadron. They have
come in close to the Happoudaikarin and are evading turbolaser
fire as they make for their goal.)

Ranma: Holy....did you see that?

Blue Eleven: Yep, but there ain't much we can do for em.

Wedge: Except destroy this station before it can wipe out
another one of our ships. Here's the trench, let's begin our
run. I'll take the shot.
(On the Happoudaikarin's bridge, Admiral Marquis watches the
floundering rebel corvettes. It appears that he is trying
hard to keep from laughing.)

Tech: Cannon reloaded, sir. Entering firing coordinates now.
Ready in seventy-three seconds.

Officer: Sir, a small group of fighters are making strafing runs
on our hull.

Marquis: Let them have their fun. We'll deal with them after
we dispose of the capitals. They're no threat.
(The X-wings of Blue squadron begin their run down the trench.
They weave and dodge down it while avoiding turbolaser fire
from the various turrets.)

Ranma: We'd better hurry.

Wedge: I'm going for the shot now.
(A monitor slides over his shoulder and snaps down in front of
his eyes. In it, he sees a computer schematic of the
trench with a rapidly decreasing number at the bottom.)

Wedge: Steady, steady...
(In the command station of the base, Admiral Marquis watches a
set of cross hairs position themselves on the lead corvette.)

Tech: Forty-five seconds until lock, sir.

Marquis: Excellent.
(In the trench, the X-wings continue on their run, avoiding
scattered potshots with ease. We watch the number on Wedge's
targeting computer tick rapidly down.)

Wedge: Steady... (1250) Steady... (738) Steady...(263) Steady...
(0, the screen flashes) NOW!
(He jams a button and two bluish photon torpedoes launch from
his fighter...to slam into the hull a few inches from the hull.)

Wedge: Missed!

Blue Six: We'll have to go for another run.

Ranma: No time! I'm far enough back to make a shot.

Wedge: Your computer won't lock in time!

Ranma: Then I'll do it without one.

(Ranma's X-wing flies forward and comes closer and closer
to the coolant tube. In the cockpit, Ranma is nervously
sweating.)

Ranma: [How am I supposed to make this shot?]
(Suddenly, the ethereal voice that we heard in Kodachi's room
fills the cockpit.)

Voice: Use the Force, boy...

Ranma: Who in...
(Ranma spins around looking for the source of the voice, flicking
a switch in the process. Two bluish photon torpedoes launch from
the ship and...fly straight down the hole.)

Voice: Or fluke out...either way is fine, I suppose.

Wedge: Way to go, kid!

Ranma: H-hai, let's get out of here.
(In the command centre, Admiral Harkov is laughing.)

Tech: Cannon ready to fire, sir.

Marquis: HAPPOUDAI...

Tech: Sir, the main reactor core is overloading!

Marquis: Nani!?!
(The Happoudaikarin explodes. Pretty spectacularly, too. We
see Blue squadron flying from the explosion. That isn't
all, however. We also see an Imperial shuttle flying away,
using the explosion for cover. Inside, we see Darth Saotome
and Admiral Harkov.)

Saotome(printout): Well?

Harkov: I'm sorry, sir. Sensors indicate a small energy surge
in his area one-point-four seconds prior to the explosion.
He must have used the Force to escape.

Saotome: (grunt/sighs) I guess he wasn't drunk enough...knew
it should have been two hundred proof... (new screen)
We must find Ranma. The Force is strong with him. He is our
only hope.

Harkov: Hai. We must be careful that he doesn't destroy us,
though.

Saotome: Yes. I wonder who the other two are...?
(Okay, it's time for the happy ending. Cut to the inside of
the royal palace on Dojo. More specifically, the gigantic
main hall which is currently filled with rank upon rank of rebel
soldiers. At one end is a raised dias, upon which stand
Soun and his two daughters. Off to one side are Nodoka and the
droids. The music which was playing rises to a crescendo and
two figures enter through a door on the opposite side of the
room. They are Ranma and Tarou. They walk down the central
aisle and stand before Soun. He smiles-dripping tears of joy-
and places a medal around each of their necks. He holds a
third medal uncertainly.)

Akane: Where is Ryouga-kun?

Tarou: Off somewhere, I guess.
(We see Ryouga wandering down a hall in a high-tech facility.
He enters a door and sees a tall, lovely blue-haired
human pouring over a set of design schematics. Ryouga clears
his throat.)

Ryouga: Excuse me...
(The woman looks up, irritated.)

B-ko: What, can't you see that I'm busy?

Ryouga: Is the rebel awards ceremony around here?
(Back at the main hall, Soun shrugs and puts the medal
aside.)

Soun: oh, well. He'll receive his award whenever he shows up.
(cries in joy) Oh happy day! To think that my daughter is going
to marry a great hero!

Akane: I'm _not_ marrying that hentai freak!

Ranma: Who are you callin' a hentai, Miss Kawaiikune Royal
Airheaded Tomboy?

Akane: Ranma no baka!
(She clobbers him and he collapses. Ukyou runs over and gathers
him up in her arms.)

Ukyou: Oh, Ranchan! Are you hurt?
(Ranma is heaving trouble breathing again. Suddenly, Tofu appears.)

Tofu: Why, h-hello, Kasumi!
(Tofu grabs a hapless rebel out of the audience and begins absently
twisting him into new and interesting shapes.)

Tofu: Kasumi! What are you doing here on Nerima?
(Kasumi giggles.)

Mousse: Come along, Princess, we must ready for the evacuation.
(Mousse notices that the person he's holding is not Akane.)

Mousse: Hey! You're not the Princess!

Tarou: You don't say.

Nodoka: (sigh) This is going to be a _long_ rebellion.

THE END

Author's Postscript: This is (or was) Ran Wars, an _identity_ crossover
between Star Wars and Ranma 1/2. This was just for the braindead who might
have thought something else, and especially for the lawyers who might try
to accuse me of claiming the characters and story as my own. If you liked/
loved/hated it, please e-mail us at chmcneil@upei.ca or apeori@ug.cs.dal.ca
and tell us! We love to get our egos stroked, and constructive criticism is
always useful. For those(re: Shampoo fans) who didn't see their favorite
characters, don't worry, the sequel to Ran Wars, The Empire Strikes Out, is
already in progress, and whomever your favorite character his, he/she will
probably be in it somewhere.

Jya ne!

Epsilon & Blade