Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ran Wars ❯ Chapter 2
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Imported From: RAAC
From: chmcneil@upei.ca
This is the sequel to "Ran Wars." It is also the second
episode in the Ran Wars trilogy. Like the first one, this is
an _identity_ crossover. Hopefully, this story will be as
enjoyable as the first. So hang on for the ride, and "May the
Force get the flu."
(Scene: Space, infinite and timeless. As we watch, the screen
is suddenly filled with something gold. It is too close to see
clearly, but recedes into the background until we can make it
out.)
RAN
WARS
(The words fade into the distance. As we watch, text begins to
roll diagonally into the screen from the bottom.)
Episode X/-31
The Empire Strikes Out
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was...
oops, wrong script...Two years ago, the rebel forces gained
their first major victory against the Empire with the destruct-
ion of the Happoudaikarin. This resulted in a schism of the
Imperial forces between Darth Saotome and the Kunous.
However, this has not been good for the rebels. Now caught
between the two opposing war machines, they have fled from Dojo.
And on a base on the planet Hoth, the rebels fight for survival...
(The text scrolls from sight. Out of the deepness of space, we
see a large wedge-shaped craft approaching. As it comes closer,
we see that it is surrounded by smaller wedge-shaped craft that
it literally dwarfs. This is the Super Star Destroyer. On its
bridge, we see Darth Saotome-who happens to be a panda in mis-
matched black armour-and Admiral Harkov.)
Harkov: The last of Kunou's strike force has been destroyed, lord.
Saotome(words print out on a computer screen mounted above and
behind his head): {Any significant damage?}
Harkov: Not from Kunou's forces, but the Black Rose used the attack
as a distraction to intercept one of our cargo convoys.
Saotome: {Kodachi is a devious one. This has gone on too long.}
(clears screen) {We need to destroy the Kunous once and for all or
our plans will be ended.}
Harkov: We've tried. We even had Hut send us assassins, but none
succeeded.
Saotome: {Then we need to find someone who can.} (pauses and clears
screen) {I have it! Contact Vice-Admiral Mikado and tell him to
prepare an assault on Hoth.}
Harkov: I was wondering when you'd get around to that.
Saotome: {But first we'll need a special probe...}
(Cut to a picture of an ice-blue planet spinning through space. We
see a snowy field. As we watch, a tantaun-sort of an ostrich/yak-
runs across the field. On its back, bundled up in heavy clothes,
is a pretty red-haired girl. She looks about her and pulls up her
goggles for a better view. As she watches, a meteor falls from the
sky and hits the ground several miles off.)
Ranma-chan(teeth chattering): Not _another_ meteor! I hate these
patrols, absolutely _hate_ them!
(Ranma is distracted by a beeping sound. She moves her hand to her
belt and removes a tiny device, which she flips open like a clam
shell.)
Ranma-chan(irritated): What?
(A face appears on the static-filled screen in the top part of the
device. It is a girl, with blue-black hair done up in two donut-like
curls on the sides of her head.)
Akane: You don't have to snap, Ranma.
Ranma-chan: S...so...I hate these patrols. Why do you insist that
I always go on them?
Akane: We need a good fighter to clear out the snow beasts, Ranma.
Ryouga'd never find his way back to base, Tarou'd have a hard time
working the equipment, and dad won't let me or the droids do it,
so that leaves you.
Ranma-chan: I don't know why King Soun is so worried about those
things. They're no threat.
Akane: Who knows? My dad's weird.
Ranma-chan(under her breath): _That's_ an understatement.
Akane(angry): What was that?
Ranma-chan(quickly): Er...uh...I said, that's very understanding...
Akane(complacent): Arigato, Ranma.
Ranma-chan: For a violent tomboy.
Akane(steaming): Why you...(gets control of herself) Just wait until
you get back, Ranma. By the way, it's getting late. You should come
back.
Ranma-chan: Uh...er...(sweats; looks into the distance) I...(excited)
I've got to check out a meteor that landed near her first! Heh
heh...yeah, the meteor!
Akane(sweetly): Fine. See you soon, Ranma. (she cuts off)
(Ranma-chan grumbles and turns her tantaun towards the meteor.)
Ranma-chan: [With any luck, by the time I get back she'll have
forgotten.] (there is an ominous roll of thunder...peculiar, since
it's a clear day) [I hate ominous rolls of thunder.] (starts off)
[I _hate_ patrols, I HATE this stupid rebellion, I _HATE_...]
(Cut to a rebel control room, where we see Akane slam a mike into
it's housing.)
Akane: Baka!
Ukyou: (standing nearby) What did Ranchan do this time?
Akane: That baka called me a tomboy!
Ukyou(patiently): Akane, he _always_ calls you a tomboy. He doesn't
mean it. Ranchan isn't mean.
Akane(accusing): You're biased! I can't trust your opinion.
Ukyou(defensively): I'm not biased. Just because I love him doesn't
mean I misjudge him.
Akane: You may think that, but you're programming's screwy.
Ukyou(looking slightly hurt): You always trusted my opinion before
Ranma showed up.
Akane: (sighs) I'm sorry, Ukyou. It's just that Ranma makes me so
mad sometimes. And to top it off, there's this marriage thing.
Ukyou: I've been telling you for the past couple of years that
there's a simple solution to the problem. _I'll_ marry Ranchan.
Akane(quickly): That'll never work! You're a droid!
Ukyou(confused): So?
(At this point, Mousse walks in and spots a tech.)
Mousse: Aha! Princess, I've found you. (walks over to the tech,
who is staring at him in onfusion) Come along, Princess.
Akane: (waves) Over here, Mousse.
(Mousse makes his way over.)
Mousse: Princess, someday I'll figure out how you move so fast.
Akane(giggles): Yes, I'm sure you will.
Ukyou: What is it, Mousse?
Mousse: (his glasses-like optics swing to Ukyou) Hello, Ukyou.
You can come too.
Akane: Where?
Mousse: Queen Nodoka and King Soun want to see you.
Akane: (sighs) What is it this time?
Mousse: (shrugs) Who knows? Come, we shouldn't keep them waiting.
Akane: Alright, let's get it over with.
(Cut back to Ranma-chan riding her tantaun. The sun is going down
in the background as she comes over a ridge. She looks down to
see a severely damaged pod of some type buried in the snow. Foot-
steps lead to and from the pod.)
Ranma-chan: Well, what do we have here? (rides her mount down to
it) Looks like an Imperial...
Voice(a girls voice, cutting her off): Ohhh, that tantaun is soooo
kawaii!
(Suddenly, a cute girl in a set of pink tights pops out of the snow
and grasps the tantaun around the neck. The tantaun shrieks.)
Girl: Eliza! Eliza!
Ranma-chan: What the...
Girl: Be a good girl, Eliza, and come with Azusa.
(Ranma-chan kicks Azusa off.)
Ranma-chan: Hey! Get off my tantaun! What are you doing out here?
Azusa: Who are you? Why are you taking Azusa's Eliza from her!
(gets up and begins banging Ranma-chan ineffectually on the leg with
her fists) Give Azusa back her Eliza!
Ranma-chan: What are you talking about? I better report this.
(pulls out her com-link; Azusa starts pelting her with snowballs)
This is Echo-4 to Echo base. Come in, Echo base.
(The snowballs are getting larger. Ranma-chan ignores them. After
a moment, Tarou's face forms on the screen)
Tarou: What is it, Ranma?
Ranma-chan: (larger and larger snowballs) Hi, Tarou. Listen, I
found something out here. It looks like an Imperial...
(The pod connects solidly with the back of her head. Ranma-chan's
eyes roll up and her face falls on the com-link, shutting it off.)
Azusa: ELIZA!
(She picks up the tantaun-with the unconscious Ranma-chan still
strapped to it-and runs off, carrying it over her head while laugh-
ing excitedly. The scene switches, and we see a conference room of
some type. Soun and Nodoka sitting at an oval-shaped table. Soun
looks determined, while Nodoka looks tired and bored. It should be
noted that Nodoka's clothing is considerable more regal-looking than
in the last movie.)
Nodoka: This will never work, Soun.
Soun: It must! (slams his fist into his palm) Akane must marry Ranma!
Nodoka: Why? Both our planets and their old forms of government are
gone.
Soun: That makes it all the more important to preserve the old
traditions! With a strong union of Akane and Ranma at the head of
the rebellion, we can not fail to overthrow the Empire! (tears of
determination)
Nodoka: (sighs) But Ranma doesn't _want_ to lead the rebellion. In
fact, I don't think he _should_ lead it. He's only here because I
promised to make him a Jedi.
Soun: How goes his training, by the way?
Nodoka: Not as fast as he'd like. He's so impatient, and I can't
help but hold back because...
Soun: (tears of consolation) Hai, I understand.
(Just then the door opens and Akane walks in. She looks thoroughly
disgusted. Following her closely is Ukyou. Finally Mousse enters,
or tries to, at least, missing the door by a few feet and embedding
himself in the wall. With a sigh, Ukyou extends her battle spatula
and peels her fellow droid of the wall with it. She drags him in.
Akane stands before her father with her hands on her hips.)
Akane: Okay, dad. What is it this time?
Soun: Daughter, Queen Nodoka and I have reached a decision on the
matter of your engagement to Ranma.
Nodoka: Actually, you came up with this ridiculous idea. I just
can't veto it.
Akane: Unless it has to do with dissolving my engagement to that
baka hentai freak, I don't want to hear it.
Nodoka(patiently): Akane, my son is not a hentai.
Soun: Hai, the Queen is right. Now, as to the matter of the
marriage...since we have been safe on Hoth for nearly a year now, I
have decided that we will be completely secure here. Thus, we can
finally conduct a proper wedding.
Akane and Ukyou: WHAT?!?
Soun: (holds up his hand) No objections. The wedding will take
place a week from today.
Akane: Dad! You can't DO this!
Ukyou: That's right, _I'm_ going to marry Ranchan!
Soun: (gigantic) I am the KING! You will obey me!
Akane: I will not! That lame old monarchy is dead!
Nodoka: I'm sorry, girls. There was nothing I could do.
Akane: I...
(Tarou bursts in, cutting Akane off.)
Tarou: Trouble!
Ukyou(after getting over her initial surprise): Care to explain,
Tarou?
Tarou: BIG trouble!
Ukyou: Uh huh. That was very helpful, Tarou.
Nodoka(patiently): Tarou, what exactly is the trouble?
Tarou: (pauses) Ranma.
Akane: And what about Ranma?
Tarou: He's been captured.
Everyone: NANI?!?
Tarou: Ranma called a few minute ago. He said something about the
Empire, then his transmission cut off.
Nodoka: (leaping to her feet) Do you know where he was?
Tarou: No, he cut off before we could fix.
Akane: I called him about fifteen minutes ago. We have those coordin-
ates. He said something about going to check out a meteor, so he had
to be close to that area.
Ukyou: Then what are we waiting for? Let's form search parties and
find Ranchan!
Everyone: Hai!
(The scene switches to a snowy valley at night. Three shuttles float
down from the sky and land with muffled thumps. As we watch, one of
the hatches slide open and a ramp descends to the ground. A figure
strides down the ramp and stands dramatically in the snow. He is a
boy in his late teens, with brown hair down up in an airy style and a
handsome, if arrogant, face. He wears the uniform of an Imperial Vice-
Admiral.)
Boy: This will do nicely.
(An officer exits the shuttle.)
Officer: Vice-Admiral Mikado, we managed to evade the rebel's sensor
net.
Mikado: Excellent. Set up our base here. How long until the fleet
arrives?
Officer: Two days.
Mikado: Plenty of time to scout out this rebel base. (throws his
hair back) I'll lead the first search party in the morning. [And
perhaps capture a few rebels.]
(Cut to a hangar in the rebel base. It is snowing heavily outside.
Ukyou and Akane stand near the partially open blast doors. In the
background, we can see the Hibiki Falcon resting on its landing
struts. As they watch, a speeder flies in, followed closely by what
appears to be a flying minotaur. Akane runs up to the speeder, while
Ukyou hands the minotaur a teapot and some clothes. The minotaur
leaves, just as the speeder's hood pops open to reveal Ryouga. He
jumps out.)
Akane: Did you find him, Ryouga-kun?
Ryouga: No, but Tarou and I did find this.
(He reaches in, and with scant effort lifts out a large pod about
his size.)
Ukyou: That's an Imperial probe!
Ryouga: Hai. It doesn't look good...
(Just then, Gosunkugi, Tofu, Nodoka, and Mousse all ride in on
tantauns. Ukyou turns to them.)
Ukyou(doesn't sound very hopeful): Any luck?
Gosunkugi: No, we couldn't find him. It's getting cold out.
Nobody's ever been out in this cold before. He probably won't
make it, it's totally hopeless. We should start to plan his
memorial.
Akane: Shut up, Gosunkugi!
Nodoka: I'm afraid we'll have to shut the blast doors and hope
for the best.
Ukyou: No! I won't leave Ranchan out there alone!
(Before anyone can stop her, Ukyou charges into the snowstorm.)
Akane: Ukyou! Come back!
(She begins to take off after her droid, but Nodoka restrains
her.)
Nodoka: Let her go. She'll be okay.
Akane: [I only hope the same can be said for Ranma.]
(The blast doors slide shut with dreadful finality. Switch
scenes to a cave of some kind. Everything is covered with ice
and snow. There appears to be only one exit-a tunnel near one
side of the chamber. Scattered around the cave are various
kawaii (stuffed animals, balloons, articles of clothing, etc.)-and
just plain weird(lampposts, uniforms, missiles, etc.)-objects
partially buried in the snow and ice. Incased in a pillar of ice
in the centre of the room is a tantaun in a starry-eyed pose.
Strapped to its back and also covered in ice is Ranma-chan. As
we watch, her eyes blink open. She struggles to move, without
much success. Presently she stops and concentrates, then begins
to vibrate, faster and faster until...)
Ranma-chan: KIYA!!!
(She bursts from the ice in a storm of shards. With a cry, she
collapses to the floor. The tantaun is still partially covered.)
Ranma-chan: Aaagh! What happened? (she pulls herself to her
feet and looks about) [What the...hey, this is all the stuff
that's been going missing from the base! What's it doing here?]
(begins to walk around the chamber, examining the objects-each of
which has a little nameplate) [That girl must have... Where did
that girl go, anyway?]
(Ranma-chan looks around, more cautiously this time. Just then,
we hear the sounds of blaster fire. Ranma-chan's eyes widen, and
she positions herself at the side of the entrance so that anybody
coming in won't see her. Suddenly a voice cries out.)
Azusa: Oooohhh! That helmet is so kawaii! (sounds of a struggle)
Voice: Get'er off of me! (the struggle intensifies)
Azusa: Get away! This is Azusa's little Pierre!
Voice#2: Hold her. There's more rooms down here.
(We hear the sounds of people walking. Presently, a snowtrooper
walks into the chamber. Ranma-chan swiftly performs a vicious
chop to the side of the trooper's neck, knocking him unconscious.
Blaster bolts spray into the room. She "eeps" and dodges to the
side.)
Voice #3: She went that way!
Voice#2: Two of em, huh? Fine. C'mon, the Vice-Admiral wants
them alive.
(Several snowtroopers rush into the chamber. Ranma-chan snaps
out her lightsabre and deflects a few shots, then leaps up and
knocks three troopers unconscious with a flying pivot kick.
Unfortunately, she lands on an ice slick and slips off her feet.
With a cry, she rams her jaw into a _hard_ chunk of rock and
falls unconscious.)
Trooper: Well, that was...easy.
(Cut scenes to a snowstorm. We can't see anything but white
for a moment, and then a shadowy figure separates itself from
the snow. It's Ukyou, and she is concentrating on a device in
her arm. She frowns as she sees something on it she obviously
doesn't like.)
Ukyou: [Not a sign of Ranchan...but I can't give up.] (the
device on her arm beeps) [What's this? Life signs! And metal!
It must be Ranchan! Wait...there's too much metal and too many
life signs for it to be just Ranma. I should check this out...]
(She walks off into the storm. Cut to the conference room from
before. The probe is on the table. Sitting around it are
Nodoka, Tofu, Soun, Akane, Mousse, and Tarou.)
Soun: We have a problem.
Nodoka: Wait. (to Tarou) Where's Ryouga? He was supposed to be
here.
Tarou: (shrugs) He decided to come by himself.
Tofu: We'll fill him in when he gets back, then.
Soun: Hai. As I was saying, we have a problem. This is an
Imperial probe. Now, I'm pretty sure that it did not transmit
our location, but I can't be 100% certain. Therefore, we shall
have to evacuate this base.
Akane: But what about R..Ukyou! We can't leave her here!
Nodoka(obviously worried, but putting on a good face for every-
body's benefit): Don't worry about Ranma, Akane...
Akane(defiantly): Who's worried about that hentai?
Nodoka: ...we need at least a week to evacuate, so we have
plenty of time to find them.
Tarou: Or their bodies.
Tofu: You're not helping, Tarou.
Soun: We all know the situation now, so let's get some rest.
There's nothing that can't or mustn't wait until morning.
(They all nod and leave. We remain in the room for a few sec-
onds, until Ryouga bursts in.)
Ryouga: I'm here! (looks about) Huh? Where did everyone go?
(scratches head) I could have sworn the meeting was here.
Maybe I'm early! (sits down) I'll just wait for them.
(Cut scenes, this time to a room. It is dark, being lit only
by a few scattered candles. On a chaise lounge in the centre
lies Ranma-chan. She is clad in her red silk tunic and black
pants, and is unconscious. With a groan she sits up, rubbing
her chin and blinking away the unconsciousness.)
Ranma-chan: I have to find some way to avoid all this head-
banging...it's beginning to get bad for my health. (looks
around) Huh? Where am I? (notices herself) Where's my snow-
gear? (pats an empty spot on her belt; more worried) And my
lightsabre?
Voice: I believe you mean this?
(One of the shadowy corners is suddenly filled with the light
of Ranma's lightsabre. This reveals Mikado-dressed casually-
who is holding it.)
Mikado: What an interesting weapon. (he swings it a few times
experimentally) It has grace and beauty, much like its owner.
(he steps from the shadows, deactivating it) Tell me, what is
one as lovely as yourself doing with such a deadly weapon?
Ranma-chan: (blinks) Who the hell are you?
Mikado: I am Mikado Sanzenin, Imperial Vice-Admiral. And you?
Ranma-chan: Ranma Skywalker.
Mikado: What an unusual name. (he comes closer) And what an un-
usual girl.
Ranma-chan: Hey! I ain't no girl!
Mikado: (chuckles) Did you hit your head too hard during your
rescue? (Ranma-chan blinks) Oh, speaking of your rescue, you
owe me for that.
Ranma-chan: Owe you? Owe _you_?!? Yeah right, I don't owe you
anythwmmmmmm...
(She suddenly has trouble speaking, perhaps having something to
do with the kiss Mikado is planting on her lips.)
Ranma-chan: .......!
(Mikado pulls back and stares at Ranma-chan. Her eyes are wide,
her mouth open an unhealthy amount, and her arms are stiff at her
sides.)
Mikado: Oh, to be so honoured by my kiss that I strike her speech-
less...(flicks his hair) You still have the old touch.
(Ranma-chan turns around-slowly and carefully-and walks-slowly and
carefully-to the door. She reaches up-slowly and carefully-and
opens it-slowly and carefully-and the door slides shut behind her.
We follow her as she walks-all together now, slowly and carefully-
down the hall until she comes to a door marked "Bathroom". She
steps in-not fast and the opposite of carelessly-and goes over-if
you don't know what should come here, you rival Kunou in brains-to
the bath, grasps the top-quickly and decisively-and twists it with
a low growl. Back in the room, Mikado has turned the lights on,
and is sipping a drink while tossing Ranma's lightsabre in the air.)
Mikado: [998. Two more women and I shall have finally reached my
goal. Perhaps I should pay a visit to that other girl we picked up
in the cave...] Hmm, this is more fun then I thought it would be.
And to think that in only two days the Empire will arrive and I can
clear out that rebel base.
(A hand reaches out from behind him and snatches the lightsabre from
the air. Mikado leaps from his chair and spins to see a _VERY_
_ANGRY_ black-haired boy with a ponytail who is wearing the same
outfit as the girl from before.)
Mikado: Where did you come from? And who are you?
Ranma: MIKADO! For what you did to me I will _KILL_ you! (snaps his
lightsabre on) RAAH!
(He charges Mikado and narrowly misses taking the pretty-boy's head
off.)
Mikado(angry): I don't know who you are, but nobody assaults Vice-
Admiral Mikado Sanzenin of the Imperial Navy and lives!
Ranma: Are you going to fight, or just talk me to death?
(Ranma runs at him with a series of vicious overhead chops but Mikado
simply taps his heels and slides away with hardly any effort.)
Ranma: What the...
Mikado: A-grav skates. The latest development in Imperial technology.
Ranma: Who cares?
(Ranma rushes at Mikado, but he skates to the side and backhands Ranma
against the wall. Ranma turns to face Mikado.)
Ranma(grudgingly): You're good.
Mikado: I'm the best.
Ranma: Hardly.
(He leap kicks and Mikado dodges, but this time Ranma is prepared. He
whips around in mid-air and punches Mikado, who slides across the room
and into the wall.)
Mikado: So you too are skilled. This calls for more...powerful
measures. CYCLONE ATTACK!
(He goes into a spin, with one leg extended outward like a battering
ram. He spins faster and faster, then flies across the room at Ranma.)
Ranma: Oh please!
(He ducks under the whirling leg and uppercuts Mikado, who flies into
the air. Mikado pivots to land feet-first on the ceiling and...stays
there. Ranma blinks, but then leaps with his lightsabre and attempts
to chop Mikado down. He slides away and smiles evilly.)
Mikado: Prepare yourself, fool! Now I perform my Ultimate
Technique(tm)! (he puts his arms straight down and goes as stiff as
a board) WHIRLWIND FURY!
(He begins to spin again, but this time as he does his arms flail about
him like chains. He spins toward Ranma.)
Ranma: You have got to be kidding!
(He positions his lightsabre in front of himself. Mikado doesn't slow,
and it looks like he is about to run himself through when we notice he
has something in each hand. What they are becomes clear a moment later
as blaster fire starts spraying from Mikado in a vortex of lasers.
Ranma "eeps" and jumps away, then begins to furiously deflect the
blaster bolts. This continues for a few seconds, with Mikado raining
death on Ranma, who does everything he can to survive. Just when Ranma
appears to be failing, something saves his life.)
Azusa: Elaine! (the girl runs out of nowhere and leaps through the
laser storm without getting a scratch) Come to Azusa, Elaine!
(She collides with Mikado and they both fall to the ground.)
Mikado: Oof! Hey, you little brat! (Azusa snatches his blasters and
begins to pat them) Give me those!
(He snatches the blasters back.)
Azusa: ELAINE!
Ranma: (blinks) Okay...
(Mikado arrogantly stands and faces Ranma.)
Mikado: You were lucky, boy, but know (Azusa starts batting him on the
back of his head) that I shall not go so easy (Azusa picks up a lamp and
uses it to whap Mikado without success) on you this...
(Azusa slams a couch on him. He shuts up and falls forward, his arms
sticking up from under the couch. Azusa resnatches the blasters.)
Azusa: Elaine! It's so good you're back with mama-Azusa!
(Ranma walks over and overturns the couch. He picks up the semi-
conscious Mikado.)
Ranma(sneers): I could kill you for what you did...but I have a more
suitable punishment.
(He drops Mikado and walks out of the room, leaving him alone with *gulp*
Azusa. Cut to an exterior scene. It is still snowing, but we can see
several inter-connected metal domes at the bottom of the valley. Ukyou
lies at the top of the vale and peers into it, a hand shielding her
optics.)
Ukyou: [An Imperial compound? What's this doing here?] (she watches
some snowtroopers enter a door) [Only one way to find out.]
(Silently, she descends the snow-covered slope. She sneaks up to a
door, where two snowtroopers are on sentry duty, and extends her spatula
to battle length. With a swing that would put the Babe to shame, she
smashes the two guards into each other, knocking them out. Walking into
the compound, she hears the sounds of blaster fire...and a familiar voice.)
Ranma(far off but approaching rapidly): Hah! C'mon, you can do better
than that! (pauses; closer) Puh-leeze! You people are pathetic!
(Ukyou runs up to a nearby intersection of corridors, stopping just inside
her own to avoid a stream of blaster fire. As she watches, a smirking
Ranma sprints backwards into the intersection while absently deflecting
blaster fire with his lightsabre.)
Ukyou(glee): Ranchan!
Ranma(surprise): Ucchan?!?
(He turns, dropping his guard for about .02 nanoseconds. Of course, thanks
to the Law of Dramatic Effect and Plot-Enhancing Coincidences this is _just_
enough time for a blaster bolt to smash into his side and send him spinning
to the ground.)
Ukyou(horrified): RANCHAN!!! (with a growl, she leaps into the corridor
and faces the Seething Mass(tm) of stormtroopers) YOU HURT MY _RANCHAN_!!!!!
(She sends an absurd amount of mini-spatulas into the horde, and with brutal
efficiency cuts about half of them down before they reach her. The rest are
the unlucky ones...she pats her hands together when she's finished and turns
to Ranma with a look of chagrin.)
Ukyou: Ranchan? Are you okay? (he doesn't respond; with a worried look,
Ukyou kneels beside him and shakes him gently) Ranchan? Speak to me, Ranma!
Say something!
Ranma(groans): ...something...
Ukyou(relieved): Ranchan! You're all right!
(Ranma sits up with a little difficulty.)
Ranma: Of course I'm alright. It'll take more than a blaster bolt to put
down Ranma Skywalker!
(He gets to his feet, clutching his side.)
Ukyou: We'd better get you back to base so Tofu Wan can look at it.
Ranma: I'll be fine. (winces as he takes a step) But you're right about the
base, we have to warn them.
Ukyou: Let's find you some clothes.
Ranma(snaps): I'll be fine! (pause) Sorry Ucchan, we just don't have time to
waste. We have to get back.
(He begins to walk away with increasingly faltering steps; obviously more hurt
than he's letting on.)
Ranma: Have to get back to base, and tell...them about all....this... (begins
to stumble) ...have...to...warn...Akane...
(Ukyou looks after him with an unreadable expression for a moment.)
Ukyou: Here, let me help. (she walks over and places her shoulder under
Ranma's)
We'll warn...them.
(They walk away. Cut to a scene of space, where we see a hodge-podge of
craft in a flotilla. Occasionally dotted throughout the fleet are Star
Destroyers. For now, we focus on a ship near the centre. It is the
unusually shaped Black Rose, which now looks even more like its namesake
with a new black paint-job. We switch to the bridge of the ship, where
we see the megalomaniacal Kodachi sitting in a throne-like command chair
and studying some technical readouts. As we watch, the Dark Jedi Kunou
and his aide, the diminutive General Sasuke walk up to her.)
Kunou(angry): Kodachi!
Kodachi: (without looking up) Hai, that is my name.
Kunou: Do not attempt flippancy within the presence of my divine personage,
sister. For misfortunately, thou hath erred in your dealing with the
messenger of heaven in that you by lowest trickery didst send me, ME,
Tatewaki Kunou, the Blue Thunder of the Empire on a fool's errand!
Kodachi: Then it suited you just fine, didn't it?
(Kunou stutters and fumes and sputters and fumes some more, then storms out.)
Sasuke: You really shouldn't insult him, mistress...
(Kodachi whirls, her eyes ablaze. Sasuke almost-but not quite-shrivels.)
Kodachi: Do you presume to tell _me_ what to do, general?
Sasuke: (bowing frantically) No! No! I was just thinking that he would
be more manageable with a little tactical ego-stroking.
Kodachi: Ohohohohohoho! My brother has a large enough ego as it is. If
his power with the Force rivalled his ego, he'd be Emperor! Ohohohohohoho!
(pauses) Why are you here, general?
Sasuke: I felt it wise to deliver this report to you in person, mistress.
Kodachi(intrigued): Proceed.
Sasuke: Your spies within Saotome's forces have reported that Harkov is
setting up for a unilateral assault on the Hoth system.
Kodachi: The Hoth system? Hmmmm. (she smiles) It appears they are on
to something, Sasuke. And only one thing could warrant a unilateral
motion by the enemy fleet.
Sasuke: The rebels?
Kodachi: Hai! Ohohohohohoho! This is my chance! A well-placed assault
could spell doom for both Saotome and the Rebellion.
Sasuke: Excellent, mistress. Do you want me to alert the fleet?
Kodachi: (eyes narrow) Not just yet. That Saotome is a sneaky one. He
could have leaked us the info in a plot for an ambush. (pauses) No.
First, I will take the Black Rose to Hoth to confirm the rebel presence.
Ohohohohohohohoho! [And perhaps find my Ranma-sama...]
(Return to Hoth, where Ukyou is half-helping, half-dragging a shivering
Ranma-chan through the snow. Ranma-chan looks determined as they both
walk into the full force of the storm.)
Ukyou(shouting above the wind): We can't go on, Ranchan! We have to find
shelter or you'll freeze to death!
Ranma-chan: (teeth chattering) What? Oh no...we can't...stop. We have...
to warn...the base...before...it's...too...too...(begins to fall, but
Ukyou catches her)
Ukyou: Ranchan! Ranchan, are you okay?
Ranma-chan(angrily): I'm fine! (get's back to her feet) Let's...go!
Ukyou: I'm sorry, Ranma! I can't let you go on! You need shelter!
(Ukyou grabs Ranma-chan as the girl attempts to leave.)
Ranma-chan: Let...me go! I'm...a Jedi...Ninja...I can...handle...a...
little snow...
Ukyou: You're not a Jedi yet, Ranchan! You need shelter!
Ranma-chan: (shakes head) No! I can't...leave...Akane...alone! Not...now!
(She groans and clutches her side. Ukyou grabs Ranma-chan and slings her
over her shoulder.)
Ukyou: Sorry, Ranchan! You leave me no choice!
(Ranma-chan shivers, in too much pain to struggle.)
Ranma-chan: Put...me...down...please! (voice getting weaker) Have...to...
help...
(She begins to drift off as Ukyou searches for shelter. Suddenly, Ranma-
chan is snapped back to consciousness by a voice. It is the same voice
that spoke to him in Kodachi's room and in his X-wing during the last
movie.)
Voice(same ethereal quality): Boy...
Ranma-chan: Huh? Who the...
Ukyou: What was that, Ranchan?
Voice: There is no need to speak, boy. I can hear your thoughts.
Ranma-chan: [Who are you?]
Voice: In due time you will know. For now, you must come to me.
Ranma-chan: [Why?]
Voice(apparently to itself): WHY do they ALWAYS ask WHY?!? (to Ranma-
chan) So I can train you, you idiot.
Ranma-chan: [But...]
Voice: Nodoka will never train you like a Jedi was meant to be trained.
She fears the Dark Side too much.
Ranma-chan: [Dark Side?]
Voice: All questions will be answered when you come to me, boy.
Ranma-chan: [Where are you?]
Voice: Jusenkyou.
Ranma-chan: (pauses) [Nobody has any idea where that is! How am I
supposed to find it?]
Voice(fading): The probe...remember the probe...(fades away)
Ranma-chan: ....(falls unconscious)
Ukyou: Ranchan? (notices her condition) Poor boy. I'll never find a
cave in time at this rate.
(Her eyes narrow, and she shifts Ranma-chan's body to her other
shoulder. Then she raises her now-freed spatula arm, extending
the cooking implement/weapon to half battle length.)
Ukyou: So I'll have to make one.
(She smashes her spatula into a drift and begins to shovel out snow.
Shortly afterward, she has dug a hole large enough for one person.
She pushes Ranma-chan into it, then pulls herself into the opening,
blocking Ranma-chan from the wind and snow as best as she can with
her body.)
Ukyou: [You have to survive, Ranchan! You just do!]
(We cut to the bridge of the Black Rose, where the molted sky of
hyperspace is visible on the main screen. Kodachi sits in her
command chair and watches as the sky becomes starlines, and then
simply stars.)
Tech: We've exited hyperspace at a point 10,000 kilometres from the
planet Hoth, mistress.
Kodachi: Any sensor data that would suggest a rebel base?
Tech: Unavailable. The range, combined with the near-perpetual
storm fronts, make it impossible to determine anything.
Kodachi: That confirms it, then. We either have a rebel or a rival
Imperial base on that planet. Contact the fleet and inform them to
prepare a hammer operation for this sector.
Tech: That will take two days, mistress.
Kodachi: They have eight hours to be in position, and will await
_my_ order to strike.
Tech: But...(Kodachi glares at him)..uh...right away, mistress.
Kodachi: And prepare my shuttle for launch. Have three legions of
stormtroopers in an assault craft and awaiting my order in orbit
by 0630. (she stands up and makes her way to the bridge) [Soon,
Ranma-sama, soon we will be together again. Forever!] (cackles)
(Switch to a view of one of the snow and ice fields of Hoth. It
is morning, and the storm is over, allowing the bright red sun to
shine its light on the chrome hull of a snowspeeder. The speeder
careens over the ice field with ease. Inside the cockpit
we see Wedge trying to keep his attention on his flying and a
scanner at the same time, with reasonable success. Presently, we
hear a "ping" and a small blip appears on the scanner screen. He
smiles.)
Wedge: Echo base, this is Scout leader. I've detected life signs
and a metal signature.
Nodoka(over the radio): Roger, Scout leader. Echo base advises
caution, but set down near it. A transport will home in on your
location ASAP.
Wedge: Roger, over and out.
(He spins his speeder about, and starts a rapid descent towards a
large snowbank. As he approaches, one part of it abruptly crumbles
and falls away, revealing Ukyou standing up, with Ranma-chan over
her shoulder. She waves at the ship as it sets down. Cut to a
scene, apparently some time later. It is a medical centre of some
kind. In a large vertical tube we see Ranma-now male-floating in
a hot liquid that is most likely water. He wears a harness cover-
ing most of his chest and crotch, and has a breathing mask on.
Outside the tube, we see Tofu fiddling with some controls. Near
him, looking both worried and relieved, is Nodoka. Slightly further
away, Akane sits with an unreadable expression, watching Ranma
intently. Tarou, Ryouga, Mousse and Soun are clustered in a group
to one side. Ukyou is nowhere in sight. Presently, Tofu finishes
whatever he was doing.)
Tofu: There. He'll be fine, he just needs a couple of hours in the
tank.
Nodoka: (lets out her breath explosively) For a minute there I'd
thought I'd lost him.
Ryouga: What was that idiot doing out in the middle of the storm
without a snowsuit anyway?
Nodoka(glares at Ryouga; icy): I don't know. Ukyou's verbal
systems were one of the ones freeze-fried by the storm. We'll find
out soon enough.
Soun(crying partly in joy; partly in worry): Tofu wan, can't you
speed up the process? Every moment my son-in-law-to-be is incapaci-
tated *sob* wrenches at *choke* my heart...*sob, choke, sob, sob*
Tofu: Yes, but I think it would be a little hard on his...unusual
metabolism. I'm being forced to rewrite the medical journals with
all my Jusenkyou-cursed patients.
Tarou: You may have to risk it. We need to know what's out there.
Tofu: (stepping over to the control pad) Sorry, but I can't do that.
The safety of my patients is my first concern.
(Tarou snorts. At that point, Kasumi walks into the room, holding a
datacard.)
Kasumi: Tofu Wan, here's that medical data I borrowed from you.
Tofu: (glasses fog up) KASUMI! How wonderful of you to visit me!
(begins pushing buttons on the control pad) Just let me clean out my
garage and I'll be right with you!
(Everyone backs out of the way as Kasumi approaches Tofu. Inside the
tank, bubbles suddenly burst from the floor and obscure Ranma. When
they clear, his eyes are opening groggily.)
Kasumi: Here you go, doctor.
(She hands him the datacard. Tofu looks at it in surprise, while still
punching buttons at random.)
Tofu: A cookie? You baked for _me_? Arigato! (he grabs the card and
shoves it in his mouth; there are a bunch of crunching sounds) Mmmmm!
(swallows with some effort) Wonderful... (looks pale) You're such a
good cook, Kasumi!
Kasumi: (smiles indulgently) Arigato, Tofu Wan, but I didn't bake
anything. (pauses) Are you making edible datacards now?
(Ranma has now noticed his situation, and tries vainly to escape as
various unpleasant things-electrocution, banging about, burning, etc.-
happen to him.)
Tofu: Edible datacards? (pauses) What a _wonderful_ idea! I'll start on
it right away! You're brilliant, Kasumi!
Kasumi: (blushes) Well, I wouldn't say that...
Tofu: I really must commend you. (looks about) How'd we get to the clinic?
Kasumi: (giggles) You're silly. I really must be going, though. (she
starts to leave) See you later, Tofu Wan.
Tofu: Later? Am I late for something?
(She leaves and he stares after her for a moment, then sighs whimsically
and wipes his glasses.)
Tofu: Now where was I?
(He notices Ranma in the tank. The boy is hanging upside down, with
bubbles rising off him. His eyes are wide and glazed over, and his skin
is reddened.)
Tofu(concerned): Oh my! What happened here? Don't worry, Ranma, I'll
have you out of there in a jiffy.
(Cut to later. Ranma is lying on a bed, clad in his regular silk outfit.
Near him is Nodoka, hovering like a mother hen. Not too far off sits
Akane, her expression unreadable. Leaning against the wall is a sneering
Ryouga, with Tarou not too far away.)
Nodoka: Are you sure about this?
Ranma: Hai, they were definitely Imperials. (angry) We have to destroy
them _ASAP_.
Tarou: It's unlikely we'll be able to get to them before they send out a
signal. Besides, the fleet already knows we're here.
Ryouga: The only question is which fleet? And how long before they get
here?
Ranma: We still have to destroy them! We can't leave him just sitting
there, smiling smugly! Not after...(trails off)
Nodoka(calm): After what?
Ranma(sullenly): Nothing. (snaps at Akane) WHAT?!?
Akane(starts): Huh?
Ranma: Why are you _staring_ at me like that? You're getting some cheap
thrill out of seeing me hurt, I bet.
Akane(defensively): I am not!
Ranma: Yeah, and I'm an Imperial agent.
Akane(growls): Listen, you baka! I was only...concerned you'd slow us
down during the evacuation.
Ranma: Oh I'm sorry, miss high and mighty princess tomboy rebel leader,
if my being captured by the Empire ruined any of your plans!
(Nodoka smiles to herself and leaves. Akane shakes her fist at Ranma.)
Akane: If you weren't already in the hospital, I'd put you there!
Ranma: (rolls out of bed and faces her) I'm not an invalid!
Akane: I never said you were, but I can correct _that_ little oversight
if you want.
Tarou: Oh be quiet, you two. You sound like an old married couple.
(That brings them up short, and they whirl to glare at Tarou.)
Akane and Ranma: We are _NOT_ getting married!!!
Tarou: I never said you were. You just sound like you already are.
Ryouga(quickly): C'mon, we have more important things to do. If Ranma's
finished whining about his injuries...
Ranma: I wasn't whining!
Ryouga: Yes you were. Cowards like you are always whining.
Ranma: I am not a coward! If anyone's a coward here, it's you! You
missed the last raid!
Ryouga: Only because _somebody_ locked me in a closet!
Ranma: Nobody would _need_ to lock you in! You can't make your way out
of a wet paper bag, much less a closet!
(Ryouga growls, baring his fangs and activating his oddly-shaped Brella.)
Ryouga: Take that back, Ranma.
Ranma: That's Prince Ranma to you...peasant! (lightsabre on)
Ryouga: Don't you mean _Princess_ Ranma?
(The two go at it. Akane runs up and starts trying to pry them apart.)
Akane: Stop this! We have more important things to do!
(They ignore her. Tarou sighs deeply, shakes his head and leaves. The
two combatants are beginning to tear up the room when Akane pulls a large,
shining, mallet-shaped lightsabre out of nowhere and gives them both a
solid whack with it. Ranma pulls himself off the floor, rubbing the back
of his head.)
Ranma: What'd you do that for?
Akane: (breathing slowly and hovering menacingly over both boys) Because
you're acting like children, that's why! We have more important things to
do then fight amongst ourselves.
Ryouga(apologetically): I'm sorry, Akane. I just can't help myself where
this loser is concerned.
(Ranma opens his mouth, a scalding retort on his tongue, but a glare from
Akane brings him up short. Sullenly, he clamps his mouth shut and crosses
his arms. Ryouga gets up.)
Ryouga: Come on Akane, let's go. I don't want spend another minute with
_that_.
Akane: Well...(looks calmer)
Ryouga(quickly): You have to get down to the command centre, and Ranma
can't come in his condition, so I'll gladly escort you down.
Akane: (smiles) That's sweet, Ryouga-kun. Arigato, I think I'll take you
up on that.
(Ryouga grins stupidly, Ranma glares and frowns. Ryouga leads Akane out.)
Akane(from outside): The command centre's _this_ way, Ryouga.
Ryouga(outside): It is? Okay.
Ranma: (as their footsteps move away) Who needs 'em anyway? _I_ certainly
don't.
(At that point, the door slides open. Ranma looks over to see Ukyou
framed in the light from outside.)
Ranma: Ucchan! I thought you'd still be in repair and refit.
Ukyou: I was, but I convinced them to let me see you. (worried) Are you
okay?
Ranma: (smiles) Fine. I'll be back on the front lines in no time. (more
serious) Arigato, Ucchan. I _may_ not have made it back in such good
shape if you hadn't been there.
(Ukyou smiles, probably realizing that this was as close as Ranma's going
to get to admitting that she saved his life.)
Ukyou: You're welcome. I'm glad I did what I could.
(Suddenly, klaxons and sirens begin to blare.)
Ranma: Huh? What the...
Ukyou(fearful): I recognize that alarm.
Ranma: So do I. (swallows hard) An Imperial attack!
(Cut to a scene of the area of space just beyond Hoth. Star Destroyers,
frigates, capitals and assault craft flash out of hyperspace in groups
of three or four. Soon they are amassed in an impressive fleet of deadly
warships. Finally, the Super Star Destroyer comes out of hyperspace and
parks itself at the head of the flotilla. In the command centre of the
Super Star Destroyer, we see an angry-looking Darth Saotome looming over
a 1/4 sized hologram of Mikado. Admiral Harkov hovers in the background.)
Saotome: {This had BETTER be worth it, Mikado.} (clears screen) {This is
throwing my entire schedule off.}
Mikado: Trust me. The rebels know you're coming. If you didn't come now,
they'd be long gone.
Saotome(obviously irritated): {If _you_ hadn't let that rebel escape, we
wouldn't have had to come here so soon.}
Mikado: (swallows hard) Um...yeah...well...That isn't important. (looks
more confident) I only have three AT-ST walkers. I'll need a full assault
squad if you want that shield down.
Harkov: The dropships should be there in a few minutes. They'll have ample
firepower.
Mikado: Hai. I'll keep them busy until your forces arrive.
Saotome: {Go to it, then.} (Mikado disappears and Saotome turns to Admiral
Harkov; clears screen) {This puts a crimp in our plans. Without time to
prepare for Ranma...}
Harkov: (nods solemnly) We need to delay...somehow.
(Switch scenes to the main command centre of the rebel base. All the techs
are busy at their stations, while Nodoka watches a tactical holo, chewing
her lip. Nearby, Soun is bawling his eyes out while Akane tries to calm
him. Ryouga, Tarou and Gosunkugi sit at terminals nearby.)
Tarou: It's Saotome's fleet.
Gosunkugi: Latest reading: twenty Star Destroyers, thirty Interdictors,
fifty Victory Class, two hundred assorted gunships and frigates...and one
Super Star Destroyer. Even with twice our firepower, we couldn't possibly
hold up to this fleet. We're doomed, it's over, we might as well give up
now and save them the trouble.
(Everybody ignores him.)
Ryouga: I've got their positions and courses. Sector VI, 36, alpha
quadrant, heading 35 mark 13.
Nodoka(calmly): That puts the entire fleet in the middle of the sun, Ryouga.
Ryouga(puzzled): It does?
Tarou: I double-checked. (he hits a button) Here's their real headings.
(The holomap is suddenly dotted with tiny symbols and colour-coded lines.)
Nodoka: (nods) We still have a chance. Prepare the ion cannons for
bombardment bursts. We'll send the transports up directly after them.
(Ranma runs in with Ukyou, and begins pulling on a flight suit.)
Ranma: Good plan. Unfortunately, you'll only be able to send two fighter
escorts with each.
Nodoka: (whirls) What are you doing out of bed?
Ranma: (grins) You'll need every pilot you can get your hands on. I'm the
best.
Nodoka: You're also injured.
Ukyou: I tried to convince him to...
Gosunkugi: Imperial walkers spotted. Their target's going to be the shield
generator. Unless we send some speeders, we'll lose our only protection.
Of course, if we do send speeders our escorts will be severely depleted and
the fleet will blast our transports from the sky. Either way we lose.
Nodoka(to the sky): Doesn't he _ever_ have good news? Just for once, sur-
prise me and make him give good news.
Gosunkugi: There's another fleet coming out of hyperspace at the outer fringe
of the system. Imperials.
Tarou: You asked for that.
Ranma(to Tarou): Is that snowspeeder we modified still down in the hangar?
Tarou: (raises eyebrow) Yes, but I can't see how those speed boosters...
Ranma: (grins) That's great. (to Nodoka) I think I can handle them with just
ten speeders.
(Nodoka looks like she's going to object, but then nods mutely and Ranma runs
off before anyone can stop him. Tarou gets up.)
Tarou: I'll prep the Falcon.
(Ryouga looks over at Akane, who is still comforting her father.)
Ryouga: I'll stay.
Tarou: (sighs and shakes head) Hai.
(Switch scenes to the exterior of the rebel base. Soldiers run about in
trenches and scramble to set up temporary fortifications. More permanent
defences such as gun towers and blaster dishes swivel about to face the
AT-ST and titanic AT-AT walkers which are slowly approaching the base.
Presently, ten snowspeeders in loose diamond formations fly over the
soldiers and bee-line for the walkers.)
Ranma(in his cockpit): Ice leader to Ice squadron. Report in.
(A bunch of pilots report in, giving their code-names as "Ice-2", "Ice-5",
etc. Wedge also reports in with the code-name "Ice-3".)
Ranma: Okay. We're here to run interference. Split up so we won't make
easy targets, but stick with your wingman.
(In an AT-AT command room, we see Mikado and his aide watching a tactical
schematic on a screen.)
Aide: We have ten speeders coming in fast on our right flank, splitting
into pairs and choosing targets.
Mikado: I see them. Order the AT-ST's to concentrate on the rebel defences,
while all AT-AT's are to fire whenever possible at the rebel craft.
Aide: Hai.
(An exterior view shows the speeders homing in on the AT-AT formation.
They break up and swing about in groups of two, launching volleys of
red laser fire into the massive quadruped war machines. But the blasts
do very little, and the Imperials return fire from the powerful
turbolaser cannons mounted on the AT-AT's "heads". One of them gets in
a lucky shot, and a speeder is blown out of the air in a whirling blur
of shrapnel and energy. In the rebel command centre, Nodoka is watching
a tactical holo of the Imperial fleet.)
Gosunkugi: First transport ready to launch. Thought it shouldn't bother,
because it doesn't have a...
Nodoka: Shut up! Akane, tell ion control to target sector 11, 3, beta
quadrant. Full burst in a cone pattern.
Akane(not very enthusiastic): Hai.
Ukyou: Nodoka! The second Imperial fleet is attacking the first!
Nodoka: Nani?!?
(Cut scenes to space, where sure enough we see a hodge-podge fleet
with the Black Rose in the lead pounding the rear of Saotome's forces.
The first flotilla is turning and bringing its own weapons to bear.
On the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer, Saotome is watching in shock.)
Saotome: {Where did _she_ come from?}
Harkov: Her spies must have informed her about our operation. She's
going to try to wipe us and the rebels out in one movement.
Saotome: {Over my dead body!} (clears screen) {Move 90% of our forces
to engage the enemy. And take the Executor so I can deal with the
Black Rose myself!} [This is just the chance I was waiting for.]
(In the rebel command centre, Nodoka has gotten over her shock.)
Nodoka: I don't know what's going on, but never look a gift horse
in the mouth. Ion control fire!
Akane: Hai!
(An exterior view shows a group of heavy ion cannons-which look
amazingly like observatories-begin to fire rapid-succession bursts
of energy. Up in space, the effect is clear as a swarm of blasts
pound into a Star Destroyer and its nearby escorts of frigates and
dreadnoughts. As they begin to free-fall away, an egg-shaped
transport and its escort of X-wings fly through the temporary gap.)
Ukyou: Transport away!
(Resounding cheer.)
Nodoka: (simply nods) One down, nine to go.
(Meanwhile, back in Mikado's AT-AT...)
Mikado: One down, nine to go. Bring us about to a forty-five degree
northwest heading and fire at will.)
Aide: Hai.
(Outside, we see the speeders doing their best to take down the AT-AT's,
with limited success. Ranma's speeder-recognizable by its blue
colouring-swings in towards an AT-ST with his wingman. In a flurry of
expert flying, he and his wingman-Wedge-manage to pour enough firepower
into it that as they fly past, the "head" explodes in a shower of flame
and sparks.)
Wedge: Scratch one AT-ST.
Ranma: We still have to worry about those AT-AT's, though. Here, cover
my tail while I try something.
Wedge: Roger.
(The two speeders fly at the nearest AT-AT. They avoid the massive
turbolaser volleys, most of which come Wedge's way as he pours a nearly
continuous stream of fire into the walker. Wedge pulls away just as
Ranma begins to swing around the walker in a tight circle. As he
finishes his first circuit, Ranma pulls back a lever on his dashboard.)
Ranma: HIRYU SHOTEN HA BOOSTERS!
(Ranma's speeder begins to spin around the AT-AT in faster and faster
circles. Soon his ship is no more than a blur of motion. Abruptly a
funnel of air begins to form, growing larger, faster and more powerful
by the second. Soon it's a towering whirlwind which lifts the AT-AT
with ease and flings it into the air like a rag doll. The war machine
crashes several miles distant and explodes in a huge fireball of energy
and flying shrapnel. Ranma's speeder shoots out of the whirlwind as it
shrinks behind him. In his cockpit, Mikado is shocked.)
Mikado: What the hell _was_ that?
Aide: I...don't know. A new rebel superweapon like that ion burst on
the Hibiki Falcon?
Mikado: Hai. Tell all AT-AT's to bring down that speeder!
(Outside, Ranma and Wedge are now dodging _massive_ volumes of turbolaser
fire.)
Wedge: At this rate, we'll never get close enough for you to pull that
trick again.
Ranma: (grins) That's okay, I couldn't do it again anyway. The booster's
burnt out. (to his radio) All Ice units, perform operation "Tripwire".
(While the AT-AT's try in vain to pound Ranma and Wedge out of the air by
sheer amount of firepower, none of them notice the other speeders pull in
behind them and fly past. As each performs the fly-by, they launch a
tow-cable. The cables latch on, and the speeders do a couple of quick
circles around the walkers' legs. With a jerk, they each detach their
cables and pull away. The walkers find themselves unable to continue
forward and also unable to halt their forward momentum, so they do the
only thing available to them. In rapid succession, seven walkers fall
to the ground and explode.)
Wedge: Slick, Ranma. Very slick.
Ranma: (grinning like a loon) I thought so.
Mikado(furious): They destroyed _half_ my AT-AT's! They will pay!
(calms himself) No...my best revenge will be to destroy that shield
generator. Double speed.
(Back in the command centre, Nodoka looks worried.)
Ukyou: Fourth transport away!
Nodoka: (shakes head) At this rate, we'll never get them all out before
those walkers reach the shield generators.
Akane: I could set the ion cannons for a wider spread. It would give us
more openings.
Gosunkugi: And more chance of them having an operating ship in our corridor.
No, we can't do that. It would never work.
Nodoka: Be quiet. We'll have to try it.
(Out in space, we see the two Imperial fleets locked in combat. Darth
Saotome's Executor bludgeons its way through this like a mad bear. Its
hundreds of turbolaser turrets pound into two dreadnoughts and blast them
into pieces in seconds. On the bridge, we see a determined-looking Saotome.)
Harkov: Another transport got away.
Saotome: {Ignore them. Where is the Black Rose?}
Harkov: Still evading us. We're too large and slow to catch it, sir.
Saotome: (growl/sighs) {Fine. Let's return to Hoth. Prepare our dropships,
those shields will be down soon.}
Harkov: Hai.
(Meanwhile, near the planet another volley of blue ion cannon fire bursts
into space. This time, however, it clears two areas. But it is no less
effective as the two transports streak into space. Then, due to a massive
amount of bad luck, one of the transports finds himself on a cross-vector
with the Executor. With an almost contemptuous volley of fire, the Super
Star Destroyer blasts it to atoms. In the command centre, Nodoka watches
her holo in chagrin.)
Ukyou: Number six transport away, but number five was intercepted by an
incoming...Super Star Destroyer.
Nodoka: (nods) It's Saotome. He's the one in charge of that ship.
Gosunkugi: Imperial AT-AT's coming within firing range of our generators.
We can't possibly stop them in time.
Ryouga(growls): Shut up or I'll shut you up!
(Outside, Ranma and Wedge are flying desperately towards one AT-AT that
has separated itself from the others.)
Ranma: C'mon, pour on the speed!
Wedge: Too late...
(In his cockpit, Mikado watches a computer image of the connected-disk
shield generators. He smirks as the image flashes red.)
Mikado: Now I have you...FIRE!
(The turbolasers of the AT-AT's head blast out and score direct hits on
the generators. In a flash of fire and sparks, the Hoth shield drops.)
Ranma: Damn. C'mon Wedge, let's get him...(blinks) It's HIM!
Wedge: Who?
Ranma(doom): Him. Cover me...
(His speeder takes the lead. In the cockpit, Mikado is gloating.)
Mikado: Hah! That will teach those puny rebels to defy Mikado Sanzenin!
Aide: Two speeders coming in fast from behind.
Mikado(sneers): Activate our...surprise and switch control over to me.
Hah! Only _fools_ take on my personal AT-AT! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Behind the AT-AT, Ranma and Wedge are pouring almost continual streams
of fire into the walker. Suddenly, and without warning, a hatch on the
top of the walker is blown up and a swivelling turbolaser turret pops
up. Caught by surprise, Ranma is unable to evade as the weapon spins
and launches a deadly green bolt-which, thanks to hasty firing, only
skims Ranma's engines.)
Ranma: I'm hit! I'm going down!
(Sure enough, his speeder is bee-lining for the ground. With a cry, he
snaps on his lightsabre and cuts off the canopy. Then he leaps from the
cockpit and flies up in a wide arc that ends with him clinging
precariously to the leg of the walker. Below, his speeder blasts into
shrapnel as it crashes. With a grunt, he begins to climb the leg, his
expression determined. Back in the rebel command centre, all hell has
just broken loose.)
Gosunkugi: The shield is down. Executor moving into bombardment
position...
Akane: (tapping buttons frantically) Moving ion cannons into firing
position...
(Suddenly, the base rocks.)
Gosunkugi: Ion cannons struck by turbolaser bombardment. Only one
still operating.
(Mousse charges into the room.)
Mousse: Princess! (he grabs a tech) Come along, princess, we must get
you to your ship!
Tech: I'm not the princess.
Mousse: You're not the princess!
Tech: How wonderful for you to have noticed.
Akane: I'm over here, Mousse, but I can't leave.
Nodoka(firmly): Yes you can. Get to your transport and get out of here.
I won't be far behind. Ukyou, go with her.
(Both girls look at her pleadingly, but after a moment of watching her
impassive face, they bow their heads in surrender. Ryouga leaps to his
feet.)
Ryouga: I'll make sure the princess arrives safely!
Nodoka: (smiles to herself) Hai. Hurry.
(They leave. Almost as soon as the door closes, a voice crackles over
the comm.)
Wedge: this is Ice-3 to Echo base, come in.
Nodoka: This is Echo base. Go ahead, Wedge.
Wedge: Ice leader's down. I couldn't tell if he ejected or not.
(Nodoka grimaces for a second, then resumes her usual calm.)
Nodoka: Understood. You're now Ice leader. Pull your squadron back
to base and board the next available transport.
Wedge: Roger. (cuts off)
Gosunkugi: Imperial dropships coming in.
Nodoka: That's it, then, sound general evacuation. Let's go.
(She gets up and walks out. Cut to the halls of the rebel base. Ryouga
is leading Ukyou, Akane, and Mousse. As they turn a corner, the alarm
klaxons change in pitch.
Mousse: They've entered the base.
Ukyou: And we're still not at the transport.
Ryouga(defensively): We're almost there...
Ukyou: Admit it, you're lost!
Ryouga: I am not. (they turn another corner, and the sound of drives
activating is clearly audible) See, there's the...(turns final corner)...
Falcon?
(Yes, they have come out into the hangar which the Falcon occupies.
Tarou looks over with mild annoyance.)
Tarou: What took you so long?
Ukyou: We followed him. (points at Ryouga)
Tarou: (nods) Ah, I see.
Ryouga: Well, as long as we're here...(activates his com-link) This is
Ryouga Solo to Transport eight. Go ahead, I'll get the princess out on
the Falcon.
Voice(over com-link): Yes, sir.
Ryouga: Okay, let's go.
(They climb aboard. Out in the former combat field, Mikado's AT-AT
stalks toward the rebel base, turbolaser turrets blasting into the
retreating rebels with reckless abandon. Underneath, Ranma has reached
a hatch. With a flick of his lightsabre, he cuts it open and flips
inside. He lands in a defensive position to see...nothing. He blinks,
then shrugs and heads toward the front of the walker. As he walks by
an access hatch, he cuts it open with his lightsabre and tosses a small
sphere inside. In his cockpit, Mikado is unaware of this as he watches
the rebels flee.)
Mikado: Heh. Look at them! Is this the much vaunted _bravery_ of the
Rebellion? I'm surprised that they even survived this long!
Aide: (chuckles) Perhaps they survived because they're always running.
Mikado: Hah! Indee...(the door behind them is slashed down the middle
and falls in two pieces; Mikado whirls) Who dares!?
(Ranma swings his lightsabre down, barely touching Mikado's neck.)
Ranma: I do.
Mikado(recognition dawns on his face): You! But I thought...
Ranma: That I died in the storm? Not likely, pal.
Mikado: What do you want?
Ranma: Revenge...for what you did to me.
Mikado: Trying to kill you?
Ranma: No. Before that.
Mikado(sneers): I've never seen you before that.
Ranma: Yes you have.
(There is a soft explosion from farther back in the AT-AT.)
Mikado: What was that?
Ranma: My revenge.
(He leaps out the viewport. Mikado stares after him.)
Mikado: What the...
(Suddenly, there are a series of explosions behind them, each faster
and louder than the last.)
Mikado: That's a turbolaser overload!
Aide: How'd he know how to...
(Outside, Ranma pinwheels through the air, then slams into a snowbank
and disappears. When he emerges, he...is a she who watches with a
malicious grin as a series of explosions rock the super AT-AT. Then
her eyes widen, and she shakes her head as if trying to clear it as
the entire machine becomes a fireball...except for the head, which
is launched like a cannonball across the snowfield. Ranma-chan
shakes her head again, then shrugs and starts towards the base. On
the Executor bridge, Saotome and Harkov are intently studying a
tactical holo.)
Harkov(disappointed): Our current position will not allow us to
accomplish both of your goals.
Saotome: (growl/sighs) {Then we must sacrifice the less urgent one.
Pull our forces out.}
Harkov: Hai.
(On the bridge of the Black Rose, Kodachi watches one of the screens
with an arrogant sneer. General Sasuke stands nearby.)
Sasuke: (frowns) The opposing fleet is pulling out.
Kodachi: (temples her fingers) Yeeeeessss. Ohohohohohohohoho!
Allow the fool to escape! We shall deal with him at our leisure!
Ohohohohohohohoho!
Sasuke: Hai.
(On the planet, we see Ranma running up to one of the transports
and boarding it. He rushes up to a comm-station and activates it.)
Ranma: This is Skywalker reporting in, let's get this bucket of bolts
moving!
(Nodoka's face appears on the screen.)
Nodoka(surprised and relieved): Ranma, I thought I had lost you!
Ranma: Ha! It'll take more than an AT-AT to take down Ranma Skywalker!
Nodoka: I take it, then, that the Super AT-AT was your doing?
Ranma: Hai. Where's Akane and Ucchan?
Nodoka: Ryouga's getting them out on the Falcon.
Ranma: Nani? You're trusting _him_ with Akane?!?
Nodoka: We didn't have much choice. And yes, it's too late for you to
go after them, so strap in for the trip. Saotome's on the planet, so
we can't delay.
Ranma: How do you know?
Nodoka: I felt him use the Force not too long ago.
Ranma: (frowns) Okay...I'll come with you.
Nodoka: (laughs) It's not like you had a choice.
(In space, the two fleets have disengaged and are retreating. Soon,
they begin to hyperjump away. After several minutes, only six ships
remain. Two Victory-class Star Destroyers are escorting the sword-
shaped Blue Thunder and its companion dreadnoughts. Nearby, the
Black Rose hovers. On the bridge of the Blue Thunder, we see Kunou
in all his arrogant glory. Kodachi is on the viewscreen.)
Kunou: Farewell, my sister. You can rest assured that those most
foul rebels do not escape yonder ice-bound sphere whilst I, the
lord warrior of the Force, doth stand in vigil!
Kodachi: Just try to take out as many of those transports as
possible. I'd do it myself, but I can't allow Saotome _too_
much freedom.
(She cuts off.)
Tech: The Black Rose has entered hyperspace.
Kunou: Excellent. Report upon the rebel's activities upon yonder
planet.
Tech: Three transports and one unidentified freighter-class ship
coming up from the surface. I assume we move to intercept the
transports?
Kunou: (distant look) Akane... (shakes head) No, we move for the
freighter.
(Cut to the cockpit of the Hibiki Falcon. Inside, we see Ryouga
and Tarou sitting in the pilot's and co-pilot's seats, respectively.
Behind them stand Akane and Ukyou, who ar
Akane: Ryouga! You're moving away from them; adjust your course!
Ryouga: I _want_ to move away from them. We're so small compared to
them that the Imperials will ignore us.
Tarou: I hate to say this, but it looks like they're _not_ ignoring
us.
Akane: They're on an intercept course!
Ryouga: (frowns) Then we'll just have to run interference for the
transports.
Ukyou: What?
(An exterior view shows the Falcon swinging towards the Blue Thunder
and its support craft. TIE fighters attack the ship, but are blown
apart by the Falcon's turrets. On the Blue Thunder, Kunou is strangely
calm.)
Kunou: I want that ship and it's occupants in one piece. (reveries)
Oh the beauteous Akane, princess of the fates and lady of my heart.
Though the foul sorceries of the Dark Side have long conspired to
keep us apart, I know now that fate has finally set its hand in
motion and we shall be forever one!
Tech: the transports have entered hyperspace.
Kunou: Then bring me my prize!
(Outside, the Falcon is easily dodging the various fighter craft, but
the capital ships are closing in with their powerful ion cannon shots.
In the cockpit, Ryouga is chuckling evilly.)
Akane: What's so funny?
Ryouga: Nothing. Just get ready to blast our way through our old friend
Kunou.
Tarou: Ryouga...
Ryouga: I could really get to enjoy blowing the Blue Thunder to bits.
(The ship aligns itself with the Blue Thunder.)
Tarou: Solo-kun...
Ryouga: (grabs a familiar joystick) Now, Kunou, let's see you handle
_this_!
Tarou(urgently): SOLO...
Ryouga: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU CANNON!
(He jams his finger on the trigger and...there is a hiccuping sound,
followed by a shower of sparks from the console.)
Tarou: ...the bakusai ten ketsu's not working. And now, thanks to you,
(checks a readout; sighs) neither is the hyperdrive.
Akane: I think we're in trouble...
Ryouga: (swallows hard) Akane, Ukyou, get back there and help Mousse with
those quad turrets. I'll make for some open space where we can manoeuvre.
(Inside the Blue Thunder, the tech is looking slightly excited, if worried.)
Tech: Sir, the computer confirms that that freighter is the Hibiki Falcon...
Kunou: Of course.
Tech: ...but it's had ample time and opportunity to use that ion cannon of
its, and...it hasn't.
Kunou: (smiles) The ways of the Force are subtle and many, but that does
not exclude it from taking more direct action when the time comes for
destiny to flow its natural course!
(The Falcon weaves and dodges past the fighters and ion cannons, and
somehow manages to make it to the other side of them. In the cockpit,
Ryouga and Tarou are frantically steering the ship.)
Tarou: Keep alert, Solo-kun. There's an asteroid field off to our right.
Ryouga: Hai. (pulls forcibly on a stick)
Tarou(shocked): Ryouga! What are you doing?!?
Ryouga: taking us away from the asteroid field.
(There is a bang, and the ship rocks slightly.)
Tarou: No you're not. You're heading _into_ it.
Ryouga: Uh oh... (the viewscreen is now showing the large asteroid field;
over a comm-link) Brace yourselves! We're going in!
(The Falcon weaves its way into the field, a squad of TIE's in pursuit.
It pulls sharply around a large asteroid. The TIE's follow, but one
isn't quite fast enough and goes up in a fireball.)
Akane(over a speaker in the cockpit): Ryouga, what are you doing?
Ryouga: If we want to escape the Imperials, we're going to have to do
the unexpected, so...
Akane: I just hope you know what you're doing. (cuts off)
Tarou: Solo-kun, you lied. You never planned on going in here.
Ryouga: I never said I did. Besides, if _I_ didn't expect I'd be going
in here, than the Imperials certainly didn't.
(The Falcon shoots between two asteroids, which collide behind it,
crushing a hapless TIE. The remaining four pursuers fly through the
resultant rubble. The Falcon suddenly veers to the side as it avoids
a medium-sized rock. A TIE that had come too close is unable to avoid
the rock completely and has one of its solar panels torn off. It spins
out in a flurry of sparks and collides with another TIE. Both explode.)
Ryouga: We'll never survive out here. We'll have to pull in close to
one of the big ones.
Tarou(apprehensive): _Do_ you know what you're doing?
Ryouga: Have I steered us wrong yet?...on second thought, don't answer that.
Tarou: I didn't intend to...it answers itself.
(Ryouga decides not to say anything as he steers the Falcon towards a
moonlet-sized asteroid. He pulls in tight to the surface. The remaining
two TIE's follow closely and begin to pelt the space around the Falcon
with green laser bolts. Ryouga counters with an abrupt swing to the
left that _almost_ throws off the TIE's.)
Ukyou(over the speaker): Ryouga! The cliff! THE CLIFF!
Ryouga: What...(looks out to see a tall cliff rising up not very far
away) ...oh, the _cliff_.
Tarou: THE CLIFF!
Everyone: THE CLIFF! THE CLIFF!
Ryouga: I can't pull out...(grimaces)
(The cliff rapidly approaches. As it gets closer, a tiny crack appears,
then quickly expands into a crevice.)
Ryouga: There's our chance!
Tarou: You can't possibly...Solo-kun, I know that grin.
Ryouga: (grinning) I'm sure you do.
(The Falcon streaks towards the crevice, turning on its side to fit.
It flies through unhindered, but the TIE's aren't so lucky. One over-
compensates a bit too much then begins to pinball around the crevice,
the second TIE has no choice but to pull up to avoid the careening
fighter. Unfortunately for it, it pulls straight into an outcrop and
bursts into a fireball. The Falcon comes out of the other side of the
crevice without so much as a scratch. It flies around the walls of
the crater that it now finds itself in. The crater has a large,
gaping cave just slightly off the centre. Ryouga smiles as he spots
it.)
Ryouga: That'll do nicely...
Tarou: You're not doing what I think you're doing. Remember the last
time you hid in a cave?
Ryouga: How many times can that happen?
(He pulls the ship up in a loop and flies it into the gaping cavern.
Brief cut to the surface of Hoth. Near a disembodied AT-AT head, we
see a figure in cold-survival gear fiddling with a portable
transmitter. He looks up for a moment, and we see that it is Mikado.)
Mikado: [Damn, where are they?] (plays with the machine again)
[Great, they must have left me here.] (looks around) [Things can't
get much worse...]
Voice(from behind him): Oooooohhh, that transmitter is so kawaii!
(Azusa runs up to him and grabs the piece of equipment) Pierre-
Marquis! Come to Azusa, Pierre-Marquis!
Mikado: (fear) No... (desperation) No! (throws head back;
complete anguish) NOOOOOOOO!!!
(Cut to a scene of three transports exiting hyperspace. They
emerge near the edge of a fleet of starships. On the bridge of
the last transport, Nodoka, Ranma, and Soun are all sitting around
a holo-map of the system.)
Tech: We've arrived at the fleet.
Ranma: Any word from the Hibiki Falcon?
Tech: No sir. All ships report no contact with the Falcon.
Ranma: The Falcon's faster than these transports. It should've
arrived...(thinks for a moment) ...three hours ago. (angry) I
_knew_ you shouldn't have trusted Akane with that loser! He probably
jumped her straight to Coruscant!
Soun: Waaaah! My darling daughter is lost forever! And on the eve of
her marriage, too! So much like my darling Nabiki! Waaahhh! (starts
doing an impressive imitation of a water sprinkler)
Nodoka: (ignoring Soun) Don't worry, Ranma, she'll be fine. Akane can
take care of herself, and she has Tarou, Mousse and Ukyou to protect
her.
Ranma: Hmph! (crosses arms defiantly) I'd still like to know what
the Imperials know about them. If only we had access to their
codes...(eyes grow distant)
(Nodoka looks at ranma with a worried frown. Suddenly, he snaps
his fingers.)
Ranma: The probe!
Nodoka: Huh?
Ranma: Do we still have the Imperial probe from Hoth?
Nodoka: Yes...but we'll need our techs to go over it for at least a
day before...
Ranma: _I_ can crack that code in five minutes. Where is it? Never
mind, I'll ask a tech...(runs off)
Nodoka: Ranma! (sighs) What am I supposed to do with him...
(Switch to a cave, where the Hibiki Falcon rests on its landing
struts. Inside the cockpit, Tarou, Akane, and Ryouga are checking
readouts.)
Tarou: Well, the bakusai ten ketsu's fried.
Ryouga: Yeah, well maybe the hyperdrive can be fixed.
Mousse(over a speaker): ...is that darn intercom...
Akane: Mousse?
Mousse: Ah, princess. I thought I should tell you that I saw something
back here.
Akane: Where are you?
Mousse: Outside the ship.
Ryouga: Mousse, go back to adjusting that array. We'll check it out.
Mousse: Hai. (cuts off)
Akane: (after a moment) Aren't you going to go see?
Ryouga: (chuckles) Check out what he saw? He can't see his hand in
front of his face, much less anything we'd have to worry about.
(turns to Tarou) I'm going to go see what condition the hyperdrive's
in. You stay here and monitor those bomber flights.
Tarou: Sure.
(Ryouga leaves.)
Akane: Tarou?
Tarou: Hai?
Akane: I was wondering...
Tarou: About what?
Akane: Why are you so loyal to him?
Tarou: Who?
Akane: Ryouga. Why are you so loyal to him?
Tarou: (distant look) He's the only one who can live with my shame.
Akane: Shame?
Tarou: (sob) Yes, my secret shame that forced me to leave my people...
(choke, sob)
Akane(sympathetically): The curse?
Tarou: No, the curse is okay...(sob, choke, sob) It's...it's...NO(sob),
I cannot say! It would drive you away from me...(tear breakdown) Only
Solo-kun understands...
Akane: It can't be that bad...
Tarou(recovering somewhat): Please, I do not wish to speak of it.
Akane: Okay...
Ryouga(over the intercom): Tarou, could you come back here?
Tarou: Hai, Solo-kun. (he leaves; Akane looks thoughtful)
(Cut to the bridge of the Blue Thunder. Kunou strides down the
catwalk towards a group of bounty hunters. There are eight, all
told, including a reptilian creature, an insectoid, an avian, Mian
Toris and a beautiful girl in a tight-fitting set of armour.
She has long purple hair, and a somewhat arrogant expression.)
Kunou: Know all ye servants of the green god that the rewards for
retrieval of those who cower upon yonder space-borne rock garden
whilst forcing my love to be unable to yield herself to me will be
plentiful and most abundant for those who accomplish the stated
task.
Purple-hair: What he say?
Tech: Any of you that bring back the rebels in the asteroid field
will be paid highly.
Purple-hair: Is true you say Ryo-lonely on ship?
Tech: Huh?
Purple-hair: Ryo-lonely. Bout tall this (places her hand near her
eyes), carry Brella, lost lot.
Kunou: I do believe that yon mauve-topped huntress doth allude to
that rebellious hider of cargos, our old adversary, Ryouga Solo.
Purple-hair: Nani?
Tech: Do you mean the smuggler Ryouga Solo?
Purple-Hair: Hai, Ryo-lonely.
Tech: Yes, he is.
Purple-hair: Then Shampoo Fett will find him. Get big money from the
Hut for Ryo-lonely.
Kunou: Care I what you do with those others among that sortied party
of ravening dogs? Nay. But know this: whoever among you may be
called responsible for the loss of my princess shall be summarily
susceptible to the wrath of a Jedi!
(He waves his lightsabre around. Shampoo looks at the tech with an
upraised eyebrow.)
Tech: Do whatever you want with the others, but the princess is to
be taken alive.
Shampoo: Ahh...
(Switch scenes, this time to a tech lab. The probe is lying on a
table. Hundreds of wires and tubes are attached to its innards and
stretch to various monitors around the room. At one of these
monitors sits Ranma. He is busily tapping buttons, seemingly at
random. Abruptly the screen changes from unyielding static to a
block of text.)
Text: Access granted. Enter command.
Ranma(smiles; types command): Call up command menu.
Menu: 1. Starmaps
2. Command codes
3. Information
4. Encryption codes
(Ranma's finger hovers over the "4" key for a moment, then he gets
a distant look on his face and, zombie-like, his hand drifts over
to the "1" key and presses it. Instantly the screen is filled by
a starmap. He shakes his head and looks at the screen in
bewilderment.)
Ranma: Huh? Why in...(notices something in the corner of the
screen) What the...?
(He punches a few buttons and the corner magnifies. He magnifies
sections of the screen three more times, until only a single
planet is displayed on the screen. Under the slowly revolving
blue and grey sphere is a name, a name which causes Ranma's mouth
to drop.)
Ranma: Oh my lord...Jyusenkyou. I can't believe it. This is my
chance to finally be rid of this curse. I've got to tell...
(frowns) No, I can't tell mom...
(The scene switches to a little later, in a hangar. Inside are
a bunch of X-wing fighters. Ranma-in his flight suit-runs in a
jumps aboard one. The flight officer runs over.)
Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Ranma: Special assignment...sector 52...Dark Jedi uprising...
people turning into kumquats...you get the idea.
Officer: Uh... (the canopy closes and the X-wing practically
leaps from the hangar)...okay...
(The camera follows Ranma. He pulls some quick manoeuvres and
is beginning to pull away from the fleet when Nodoka's voice
bursts over the comm.)
Nodoka(angry): Ranma! Where do you think you're going?
Ranma: I have to do some stuff. I'll see you later.
Nodoka: What?! Come back here, young man!
Ranma: Sorry mom, this is something I have to do. You'd only hold
me back.
(He punches a button and the X-wing leaps into hyperspace with a
flash. On the bridge, Nodoka is _mad_. With a shudder, she
calms down.)
Tech: Extrapolating on his hyperspace vector...
Nodoka: Don't bother. He'll change it at least once before he
settles on his actual destination. (sighs) No, we'd best just
trust the Force in this.
(Cut back to the asteroid field. TIE bombers are blasting the
asteroids with proton torpedoes, but are having no success in
flushing out the Falcon. On his bridge, Kunou is ranting at
Shampoo.)
Kunou: Why art thou not out searching for my one true love?
Shampoo(exasperated): Shampoo say already, Kunou-Jedi, she have
plan but it not ready yet.
Kunou: I don't care about your plan! I want Akane now! (jumps
up and down) NOW! NOW! NOW! (points at her) Now you _will_ obey
my orders!
Shampoo: [Him nuts.] Hai, right away...
(She stalks off. Kunou whirls to face the crew, who are staring
at him.)
Kunou: What?
(Back in the Hibiki Falcon, we see Tarou's legs sticking out of
a service duct. Ryouga is fiddling with an exposed panel near-by.)
Tarou: Try it now.
Ryouga: Hai. (pulls a lever)
Tarou: (as sparks leap from the duct) YAAA! Turn it off! Turn it
OFF!
(Ryouga quickly pushes the lever up.)
Ryouga: Sorry. Are you okay?
Tarou: Fine, just singed.
(They are both distracted by a beeping sound. Ryouga grabs a com-
link and activates it.)
Ryouga: What?
Mousse(over com-link): It's me.
Ryouga: What do you want?
Mousse: You know how I told you earlier how there's something out
there?
Ryouga: Hai.
Mousse: Well, it can be confirmed that there _is_ something out here.
Ryouga: How can you be sure?
Mousse: Because it's chewing on my arm.
Ryouga: (long pause) We'll be right out.
Mousse: No hurry. I'm just trying to be helpful.
(Outside the Falcon, we see a hatch lower. Tarou, Akane, and Ryouga
exit, all wearing environmental suits. Ryouga has his Brella on.
They walk around the ship and come upon Mousse, who is standing with
a long spear coming out of his sleeve and pinning a bat-like creature
with a sucker for a mouth to the ground.)
Mousse: Hello, so good to see you. Greetings, princess.
Akane: Mousse, call me...never mind. What's that?
Tarou(hisses): Mynoc.
Ryouga: Great, that's all we need. (via com-link) Ukyou, prep the
Falcon for launch.
Ukyou(over the com-link): Hai. Why are we leaving?
Ryouga: Mynocs.
Ukyou: What's that?
Ryouga: I'll explain later. (shuts it off) Come on, we'd better check
to see there aren't any on the ship. The last thing we need is one of
them chewing on the main drive controls.
(They begin to circle the ship. As they round a section, they spot a
mynoc on the engine. Ryouga bats it off. Suddenly, one flies in from
behind. Ryouga spins and uses his bandanna-blaster to blow it out of
the sky. Two more fly above and Mousse lets loose with his duck-
grenade launcher. He launches three egg-bombs, two of which hit, the
third exploding on the ceiling. Its explosion is accompanied by a
significant rocking of the cave which throws everybody off-balance.)
Mousse: What happened?
Ryouga: (frowns) I'm not sure.
(He points his bandanna-blaster at the ground and fires. The cave
shakes again, more violently this time. Ryouga and Tarou exchange
glances.)
Ryouga and Tarou: Uh oh...
Ryouga: Into the Falcon! NOW!
Akane: What...never mind.
(They rush into the ship and to the cockpit. Ryouga and Tarou take
their positions and begin to pull the already-prepped Falcon up.)
Ukyou: What's going on?
Ryouga: No time.
(The Falcon begins to fly up the cave. The opening is slowly
closing, around the same place as two peculiarly even rows of
stalagmites.)
Akane: The cave's COLLAPSING!
Tarou: This isn't a cave.
Ukyou: It's too tight! We'll never make it!
Tarou: We'll see about that!
(He punches some buttons on the console. The Falcon suddenly
launches a blue photon torpedo which flies forward and blasts one
of the stalagmites to pieces. They dart through the gap and pull
away from the hole as a giant, snake-like creature rears out of
it. However, instead of snapping at the ship, it turns away,
making mewling noises. The Falcon pulls out of the asteroid field
and immediately finds itself swarmed by the Imperial ships. Cut
to the Blue Thunder's bridge...)
Tech: Lord Kunou! The Hibiki Falcon has exited the asteroid field!
Kunou: Bring them DOWN!
(The Falcon is now dodging ion fire from both the enemy capitals
and the Gunboats that are chasing it. In the cockpit, Ryouga and
Tarou are alone-Akane, Ukyou, and Mousse having gone back to man
the quads.)
Ryouga: (grimaces) We'll never make it...
Tarou: The tower!
Ryouga: Huh? Could you elaborate?
Tarou: (smiles) Listen, Solo-kun. I have a plan...
(Outside, the Falcon makes an abrupt change in direction,
temporarily throwing off the eight gunboats on its tail. The three
gunners take advantage of this and unleash a stream of fire at the
confused Imperials. Only two fighters survive the barrage, and
one of those is streaming sparks and fuel. The Falcon is now
bearing down on one of the Victory-class Star Destroyers. On the
bridge of the Star Destroyer, the captain looks shocked.)
Captain: Is he _insane_?
Officer: Probably, Captain Sentarou. Did you hear what that ship
tried to do at the Battle of Dojo?
Sentarou: No...and I don't want to. Full power to the bridge
shields!
(The Falcon grows bigger on the main screen until it blots out
almost everything. Sentarou flinches back as the Falcon pulls
up at the last second and...)
Tech: It's gone!
Sentarou(relieved/surprised): What?
Tech: The Falcon, sir. It just...disappeared.
Sentarou(fearful): What? Are you sure it didn't crash? Or enter
hyperspace?
Tech: I...don't know. It just vanished off our sensors.
Sentarou: Very well, then. (swallows hard) I'll explain to Lord
Kunou how I lost the Falcon, and...apologise.
(Cut to later. On the Blue Thunder, Captain Sentarou slowly
crumples to the floor. Kunou shuts down his lightsabre just as
the unlucky ex-captain comes to a rest. He whirls.)
Kunou: Apology accepted... (to the crew) Extrapolate on the Falcon's
last known vector and plot all possible hyperspace courses. Then
break up the fleet. I want that ship found!
(Out of earshot, two techs glance at each other.)
Tech#1: Why isn't he using that awful poetry of his?
Tech#2: (shrugs) Who knows? Probably too excited to think of any.
(Cut to the outside of the Victory Star Destroyer, where we see the
Hibiki Falcon on the back of its conning tower. Inside the cockpit,
we see Ryouga, Tarou, and Akane watching the fleet at an odd angle.)
Akane: Brilliant, Tarou, absolutely brilliant! (pats him on the
back)
Tarou: I can't take _all_ the credit. Without Solo-kun's flying,
we never could have pulled it off.
Akane: Good job, Ryouga-kun! (she throws her arms around him)
Ryouga: (eyes going goofy in ecstasy) A-arigato...Akane-chan...
(sighs and faints)
Akane(startled): What happened to him? (worried look)
Tarou: (looks at her and shakes head) Nothing. (snaps his fingers)
Wake up, Solo-kun. Wake up!
Ryouga: (shakes himself awake) Wha? Huh?
Tarou: The fleet's breaking up.
(He points outside, and we see that the fleet is indeed doing just
that.)
Ryouga: Hai. Prepare to disengage mooring clamps.
(Akane cocks an eyebrow.)
Tarou: The Imperials always dump their junk right before hyperspace
flights.
Akane: So we just float away with the garbage?
Ryouga: Hai.
Tarou: (smiles sardonically; to himself) How appropriate...
(The Star Destroyer indeed lets out its garbage, and with a lurch,
the Hibiki Falcon begins to float away with it. Presently, the
Imperial fleet flashes away in bursts of pseudo-motion. Inside the
cockpit, Ryouga is studying a screen.)
Ryouga(musing to himself): Our hyperdrive's still shot so we'll need
to find somewhere to...what's this? Tsubasa...hmm...
Akane: Tsubasa?
Tarou: Tsubasa Calrissian, she's an old acquaintance of ours.
Ryouga: Hai, and it looks like she has something on Bespin. I think
it's about time that we paid her a visit.
Tarou: (straight face) You're tired, Solo-kun. Why don't you go get
some rest while I steer the ship?
Ryouga: (yawns) Good idea. I think I'll do just that.
(Tarou sighs in relief. Outside, the Falcon suddenly activates its
thrusters and flies away from the space junk. Unnoticed by it,
however, a large spherical piece of apparent garbage with a long,
handle-like protrusion begins to move away from the junk after it.
Cut to another sector of the galaxy. Around a tiny red sun orbits
a single planet. The planet is almost uniformly dark green, but
is dotted with millions of tiny blue dots, which give the planet
the appearance of having the pox. Abruptly, an X-wing emerges
from hyperspace and hovers above the planet. In the cockpit,
Ranma gazes down at it with an eager expression.)
Ranma: [So this is Jyusenkyo? Not very impressive.] (looks at some
instruments) [I guess I can set down anywhere.]
(He flies the X-wing into the atmosphere. Almost immediately, the
sky is filled with dark clouds and high winds. Ranma grimaces as
his fighter is rocked about.)
Ranma: [Where did that storm come from?] (looks down at the
instrument panel; blinks) [The instruments are going crazy!]
(We'll have to take his word for that. However, the X-wing is now
shuddering and shaking as it plummets through the atmosphere. Ranma
struggles vainly for control. Suddenly a tree limb whips by the
canopy, followed quickly by several others. There is a splash and
the ship comes to an abrupt halt, with the exception of Ranma, who
bangs his forehead off the console, and is saved from unconscious-
ness only by his flight helmet.)
Ranma: [So that's what we wear these things for...] (looks around)
Great, what else could go wrong. (*crack*boom*ominous roll of
thunder*) I _hate_ that! (He pops the canopy and climbs out onto
the body of the X-wing. We see he is in the middle of a vast jungle/
swamp. The X-wing is partially submerged in an irregularly-shaped
pool of water that has bamboo shoots sticking out of it [which doesn't
really make sense, since this isn't Earth, but you'll just have to
live with it]. Ranma sighs and steps to the edge of the ship.)
Ranma: Better get to shore.
(He is preparing to make the plunge, when a voice distracts him.)
Voice: Were I you, would not. Hrmm.
(Ranma looks over to the shore, and sees a diminutive old woman with
green skin and long white hair balancing herself on a staff. He
goggles.)
Ranma: Wha...
Old hag: Unless crab wish you become, into water you not go. Hrmm.
Hrmm. *hack*cough*hack* Sorry, frog in my throat... *hack*cough* That's
better.
Ranma: Who are you? And what are you talking about?
Old hag: I am Cologne. And what I was talking about is the fact that
you were about to plunge into one of the cursed pools. Spring of
drowned crab, to be exact.
(With a look of horror, Ranma backs away from the edge of the X-wing.)
Ranma: YAAA! Wait a sec...how can a crab drown?
Cologne: If an octopus can manage it, so can a crab.
Ranma: Huh?
Cologne: Never mind, it was an in-joke.
(Ranma looks around, and notices that it is a long way to each shore.)
Ranma: Uhh...if I can't swim, how _am_ I supposed to get off?
Cologne: (eyes narrow) Use the Force, boy...
Ranma: Huh?
Cologne(irritated): The Force! You want to be a Jedi, right?
Ranma: Hai, but how did you know?
(Cologne waves her staff, dismissing the question.)
Cologne: If you want to be a Jedi, you must be able to use the Force.
Ranma: What do you mean? Mom never taught me anything about "using the
Force."
Cologne: (eyes widen in surprise) She isn't even teaching you how to
manipulate matter yet?!? That's the most simple, rudimentary Jedi
ability there is! And she _isn't_ teaching you it?!?
Ranma(defensively): Mom's been doing a good job...
Cologne: Your mother's an idiot, boy! She's too worried about you
converting to actually spend the time teaching you anything useful!
Ranma: I can use my lightsabre...
Cologne: Bah! Lightsabres! Useful in their own right, but they
should hardly be the focus of a Jedi's studies. (sighs) Very well.
If you can't use the Force to cross the river, I suggest you use those.
(She points at one of the bamboo shoots. Ranma easily leaps from
pole to pole and lands before Cologne. He is frowning.)
Ranma: Listen old troll, who are you to be insulting _my_ mother?
Cologne: I am the Jedi Master Cologne, and I have summoned you here to
teach you the ways of the Force.
Ranma: You? A Jedi MASTER?!? Yeah right, and I'm the Emperor!
Cologne: What does the Emperor have to do with it?
Ranma: It's just an expression...the point is, you're too old,
feeble, and short to be a Jedi Master.
(Cologne's eyes narrow in amusement, and she eagerly shifts her
weight on her staff.)
Cologne: Oh really...why don't you attack me, then? Prove how
superior you are to poor, feeble, doddering old me.
Ranma(hesitant): I don't want to hurt you...
Cologne: You? Hurt ME?!? That's rich, that's really rich!!!
(She rolls around on the ground, cackling with glee.)
Ranma: Hey! (activates his lightsabre) Fine! But remember, you
asked for this! KIYA!
(He swings his lightsabre around in a whistling arc that's sure
to decapitate the old crone. He never finishes it, however,
because in a flurry of movement, Cologne leaps to her feet and
pokes Ranma in the chest with her staff. With a cry, he
crumples up and falls to the ground.)
Cologne: Now, if you still don't believe I'm a Jedi Master,
please say so. (Ranma doesn't speak, he doesn't move, he-
apparently-doesn't breathe) Fine. Come, we shall start your
training at my home.
(Cologne gestures and the paralysed Ranma raises off the ground.
She bounces into the forest, with the floating Ranma right behind.
Cut to a planet on the other side of the galaxy. The clouds are
so thick that it is impossible to see the ground. Directly above
these clouds, the Hibiki Falcon is gliding along. On either side
of it are two ships, which look like connected pods. In the
Falcon's cockpit, Tarou appears to be doing some fast talking
while Ryouga steers the ship. Akane stands nearby.)
Tarou: No, I do _not_ have a landing permit. But if you'd just...
Pilot(via com-link): you'll have to turn back.
Tarou: We can't turn back, we're in serious need of repairs. If
you'd just tell Tsubasa Calrissian that Ryouga and Tarou are...
(Suddenly, the ship is rocked by laser fire.)
Mousse(via intercom): They're firing on us!
Tarou: What _would_ we do without you to tell us these things,
Mousse?
Mousse: Probably die. Do you want me to return fire?
Ryouga: Not until the last second...
Pilot: Wait...we've just confirmed your identity. Follow us in,
you're clear on pad sixteen.
Ryouga: (sighs) Finally.
Akane: I thought this Tsubasa was your friend.
Ryouga: She is, she's just...flighty.
Akane: Flighty?
Tarou: Tsubasa's always sort of...distracted. She doesn't treat
anything seriously, and is always playing games-especially games
involving disguises. On top of that, she's always mooning over
some guy.
Akane: Who?
Tarou: (shrugs) I don't know, never met him. His name starts
with a "U", though...Uch...Uck... Ukc...something like that.
Akane: Oh, okay.
(The Falcon flies around a large cloud, and we see a large city
suspended above the clouds by a large, inverted castle-like
hoverpod.)
Akane: What _is_ that?
Ryouga: Cloud City, I'd wager. Another one of Tsubasa's games.
(The ship settles down on a circular pad that is connected to the
city by a wide walk-way. The side of the pad is cluttered with
containers and crates. The ramp on the Falcon lowers and Ryouga,
Akane, mousse, and Tarou step out. Akane looks over at the
clutter and smiles sardonically.)
Akane: I guess she wasn't expecting you. She didn't have time to
clean up.
(Tarou grunts.)
Ryouga: Tsubasa's absentminded, she'll get around to seeing us
soon enough. (looks at the cargo) Might as well sit down and wait.
Akane: (shrugs) I can go for that.
(Akane walks over and sits on a crate. Ryouga and Tarou are
following when...)
Crate: Eee! Get off of me!
(Akane "gaahs" and leaps about eight feet in the air. She flips
in mid-jump and lands facing the crate with her lightmallet out.
Ryouga runs in front of her, Brella unfolded to shield her and
bandanna-blaster at the ready. Tarou pulls a small thermos
from his belt and unsnaps the lid. Suddenly, a cute brown-haired
girl in a frilly pink dress pops out of the crate.)
Girl: Surprise, Solo-kun!
(Tarou and Ryouga visibly relax and put away their "weapons."
Akane does not.)
Akane: You know this...this...
Tarou: Of course we do. This is Tsubasa.
(The girl waves at Akane and gives her cutsie eyes.)
Tsubasa: Hi! That's right, I'm Tsubasa Calrissian. And you are...
Akane: (mallet has mysteriously disappeared) Akane Tendo, pleased
to meet you.
(Tsubasa steps out of the crate, giving Akane a surprised look.)
Tsubasa: _Princess_ Akane? Of the Rebellion?
(Akane looks at Ryouga dubiously, who nods.)
Akane: Hai.
Tsubasa: Pleased to meet you. (bows respectfully; to Ryouga) It
appears you've fallen in with some bad company, Solo-kun. You
haven't gone respectful on me, have you?
Ryouga: (laughs) If you can call running around the universe,
avoiding Imperials, smuggling supplies and treason in general
respectful, then yes, I have.
(Tsubasa gives Akane a pitying look.)
Tsubasa: Is he _still_ making these occasional attempts at levity?
Akane: Not really. He spends most of his time...uh...trying to kill
someone.
Tsubasa: Oh?
Ryouga(snarls): I found the one responsible for...(looks at Akane)...
my problem.
Tsubasa: Ah, I see. (runs over and hugs Tarou) And what about you?
You still hanging around with that loser?
Tarou: (looks uncomfortable) Uh...yeah. Tsubasa, would you mind...
Tsubasa: You're still such a stuffshirt, I see. (steps away)
Tarou: It's just not proper.
(Tsubasa shakes her head and approaches Mousse. Akane gives
Ryouga a mystified look.)
Ryouga(low voice): She's teasing him. She thinks he's a prude. I
told you she was flighty.
Tsubasa: What a familiar droid...
Mousse: I doubt it. I'm a prototype NoC...
Tsubasa: Mousse! (excited) it's you, Mousse!
Everybody: How did you know?
Tsubasa: I bui...
(Just then, Ukyou walks out of the ship. She is frowning. Tsubasa
_stares_ at her.)
Ukyou(irritated): Well, I shut down the ship. You know, I'm a
companion droid, not an astromech...
(She is distracted as Tsubasa suddenly leaps at her with arms out-
stretched and hearts in her eyes.)
Tsubasa: UKYOU-SAMA!!!
Ukyou: YAA! We're under attack! (she quickly uppercuts Tsubasa with
her spatula) Defend yourself!
(Tsubasa flips end over end and slams into the ground several metres
away. She begins to rub her forehead, which has developed a sizable
lump. Ukyou swings her arm around and opens her spatula-shot.)
Tsubasa(pouting): You don't remember me, Ukyou-sama?
Ukyou: (stops as she was about to fire) Wha? No...I don't know you.
Mousse: What's going on here?
Tsubasa: I built you...both of you. (looks more closely at Ukyou)
But Ukyou-sama was a...boy when I built her.
Ukyou: I was altered by one of my owners...wait! You built me?
_You're_ the one who built me?!?
Akane: You built her?
Ryouga: You built her?
Tarou: And Mousse.
Mousse: You built me? (looking at Tarou) Why didn't you tell me?
Tarou: Not me, her.
Mousse: Her who?
Tarou: (points at Tsubasa) _Her_, her.
Mousse: That's a he, not a she.
Akane: You need to clean your optics, Mousse.
Ukyou(flabbergasted): She built me...
Mousse: I tell you that's a guy!
Ryouga(gently): Mousse...you're blind.
Akane: He saw those mynocs.
Tarou(ominously): Mousse, Tsubasa's my friend. Has been for
five years. Don't you think I can tell the difference between
guys and girls?
Mousse: Obviously not.
Tsubasa: (sniffs) Ukyou-sama, I can't believe you don't remember
me.
Akane: What's this "sama" business?
Tsubasa: Just what it means, she's my beloved Ukyou.
Akane(blinks; slowly): You love a _droid_?
Tarou(under breath): And I thought _Ukyou_ was weird.
Tsubasa: (shakes head) No. I don't love a droid, I love Ukyou.
Ryouga: But Ukyou...
Tsubasa: ...is human!
(Stunned silence. Everyone gapes at Tsubasa. Well, Mousse is
gaping at something on the wall-but who cares about him?)
Ukyou: YOU SAID WHAT?!?
Tsubasa: You're human-or at least you were.
(Ukyou runs down the ramp and lifts Tsubasa up by the front of
her dress.)
Ukyou: EXPLAIN!
Tsubasa: (blushes) Ukyou-sama, that tickles...
(Ukyou realizes where she's holding the girl and drops her.)
Ukyou: Now explain.
Tsubasa: You really don't remember? Any of it?
(Akane, Ryouga and Tarou are exchanging glances.)
Ukyou: No I don't. Now tell me.
Tsubasa: (sighs) It was a long time ago. Ukyou-sama and I
lived on Corelia. We were in love almost from the day we were
born. Up until our fifth year, anyway, when *sniff* our friend
Mousse...*choke*
Mousse: I'm human too?
(Ukyou slams Mousse into the Falcon with a backhand from her
spatula.)
Ukyou: SHUT UP MOUSSE!!! (to Tsubasa) Go on.
Tsubasa: Well *sniff* Mousse travelled a lot. And during his
travels, he picked up a case of *choke* Brinarian fever.
(everyone gasps) It was *sniff* still dormant when he trans-
mitted it to Ukyou-sama...
Tarou: Wait a minute. Brinarian fever _can_ be cured. It's
expensive, but...
Tsubasa: It couldn't be twelve years ago. *sniff* I was morti-
fied, but (perks up) I knew how to save her! She insisted I
save Mousse too. I built droid bodies for both of them, then
transferred their intelligence into them while I cryo-froze
the bodies.
Akane: (gasps) Is that possible?
Tarou: (pauses and frowns) Yeeessss, it _could_ be... I was
doing some research a while back, and discovered that somebody
_had_ done research into the transference of human personality
and memories into droid bodies. He came very close, but was
killed during the first stages of the Clone Wars. Nobody else
took up his work. His name was (stops; eyes widen) Drello
_Calrissian_!
Tsubasa: Hai, my grandfather.
(Ukyou has an awed expression on her face.)
Ukyou: So I really _am_ human! I really can be with Ranchan!
Tarou: I wouldn't get too excited. Your original body was male,
remember?
Ukyou: (shakes head) I _feel_ female...I wish I could remember
all this. (to Tsubasa) Why didn't I remain with you?
Tsubasa: Something went wrong during the transferral. You both
went berserk after it was finished and ran off. *sniff* I've
been looking for you ever since...
Akane: Wait, do you have the bodies here? In cryo-stasis?
Tsubasa: (nods) And cured.
Akane: Then you _could_ transfer them both back?
Tsubasa: Hai. I need time first, though.
Akane: Well, why don't you show us them?
(Cut back to Jyusenkyou. In a crude hovel, Cologne places Ranma
on the floor and pokes him with her staff. Instantly he leaps to
his feet, glaring at her with undisguised hatred.)
Cologne(irritably): Stop that.
Ranma: Stop what?
Cologne: Hating me.
Ranma: (blinks) Huh?
Cologne: Hating me. If you let your hatred control you, you
follow the path of the Dark Side.
Ranma(curiously): What _is_ this Dark Side everyone keeps
talking about?
Cologne: I see you've decided to accept that I'm a Jedi Master.
Ranma(mutters): You didn't give me much choice...
Cologne: (chooses to ignore that) To answer that question, I will
need to explain the nature of the Force. (she pauses as Ranma takes
a seat on a near-by hammock) The Force is more than just a tool.
It is a power, created by life. It surrounds us like a mist,
flowing through and binding us. The Force reflects life in it's
capability for compassion, healing and strength. But it can also
reflect hatred, intolerance and anger. This is the Dark Side. It
tempts young Jedi by offering the easy path. But once taken, it
will lead the Jedi deeper and deeper into enslavement, until finally
he is no longer his own being but merely a tool of the Dark Side.
Ranma: (after a moment) What's this got to do with me?
Cologne: Anger, hatred, fear, impatience, all these are tools of
the Dark Side. Allow yourself to be ruled by them, and you are
already in it's thrall. I don't intend to let that happen. I've
only lost _one_ student to the Dark Side, and I plan to keep that
record.
Ranma: Who was it? The person you lost to the Dark Side?
Cologne: (looks at Ranma with narrowed eyes) He is called Darth
Saotome, servant of the Emperor.
Ranma: (leans forward eagerly) I must ask you one more question
before we begin my training.
Cologne: I see you've decided to be reasonable. Very well, ask.
Ranma: My father came to Jyusenkyou...
Cologne: ...to train with me, hai. He had you with him.
Ranma: What happened to him? Mom told me that Saotome killed him.
Cologne: (hesitant) You _could_ say that...but it is not my place
to tell.
Ranma: I _have_ to know. (looks at her pleadingly)
Cologne: I can tell you this. One day the Emperor came here. He
trapped you and your father, there were some accidents at the pools,
and when it was over, Saotome and the Emperor left.
Ranma(growls): So he _did_ kill him!
(Cologne bops Ranma on the back of the head.)
Cologne: Stop that! No hating!
Ranma: Sorry, forgot.
Cologne: Don't do it again! Now come, we must start your training.
I hope you got some sleep on your way here, because it will be in
short supply for the next few days.
(Switch scenes, this time to a darkened room. Inside, we vaguely
make out the sillouhette of a man in some form of armour. Presently,
the door slides open and we see Admiral Harkov framed in it.)
Harkov: Lord Saotome?
(There is a splash and the lights in the room come on. Saotome is
revealed to be in a kneeling position-hard for a panda-with his trans-
lator harness suspended above him on a metal arm. His fur is sodden,
and there is a small puddle of water on the floor. With a whirr, the
harness falls down over his face and the screen comes alight.)
Saotome: {Yes?} (gets up)
Harkov: The Emperor has contacted us. He is most displeased with the
lateness of our deliveries lately.
Saotome: {Tell him we have stripped three more worlds, and that their
"precious resource" will arrive within the next day.
Harkov: Hai.
Saotome: {How goes operation "Thunder Strike?"}
Harkov: Our spies report that Ranma has arrived on Jyusenkyou.
Saotome: {Good. Cologne will prepare him for his task.}
Harkov: Is this wise? Cologne _is_ a Jedi Master. We've gone
through a lot for this boy, and she might destroy it all.
Saotome: (growl/laughs) {I doubt it. I, of all people, know
Ranma.} (clears screen) {Trust me, our investment is secure.}
Harkov: If you say so. Oh, our informant has reported that our
quarry has arrived on Bespin as planned.
Saotome: {Good. Tell him we will keep our end of the bargain.}
Harkov: Hut is growing restless. Solo, apparently, must be made an
example.
Saotome: {Tell the bounty hunter that she can keep Solo. He is
unimportant.}
Harkov: Hai. Everything is going to plan, then?
Saotome: {Hardly. Kodachi is still a wild card. Prepare my shuttle...}
(Cut back to Bespin. In a hallway which is peculiarly open and airy for
a mining and shipping port we see our rebels, being led by Tsubasa.
Droids, aliens, and humans of all types wander about. Ukyou is talking
animatedly to Akane, who looks slightly uncomfortable.)
Ukyou: ...this solves everything, Akane! Now I really _can_ marry
Ranchan, and you'll be free of that stupid engagement!
Tarou: I wouldn't get your hopes up. You're still overlooking the fact
that your original body was male.
Ukyou: That doesn't matter! Even if I am...you know, I can still marry
Ranchan! You forgot about his curse! It was _meant_ to be!
Akane: I doubt...
Tsubasa(huffy): Who is this "Ranchan" anyway?
Mousse: Ukyou fell in love with him a while back. We thought it was a
glitch in her programming, but now... (shrugs)
Tsubasa: That's impossible! Ukyou-sama loves _me_!
Mousse: That might have been true once, but it isn't anymore. She
doesn't even remember you, and neither do I, but she _does_ remember
Ranma.
Tsubasa: Ranma?
Mousse: His real name. Ranchan's just a pet name.
Tsubasa: Oh. (looks determined) Well she _will_ remember me! I'll
have to replace both your memories before I return you to your human
forms anyway.
Mousse: Do I _have_ to become human?
Akane(shocked): You don't want to?
Mousse: There's no real reason for it. _I_ don't have anybody that I
love.
Tsubasa: (shrugs) Suit yourself. I'll replace your memories anyway.
Mousse: I'd appreciate that.
(They come to a heavily guarded door.)
Tsubasa: Here we are.
(She waves aside the guards and the group enters what is obviously a
lab. Large computer banks line the walls, with unusual sensors and
probes connected to them by thick wires and tubing. Droids that look
vaguely like spiders with multi-tool extensions for legs tramp about.
However, all eyes immediately go to the far wall, where two large
cylinders can be seen. They are tall, made of a seamless dark grey
metal, except where an indented wrap-around piece of lighter grey metal
covers the upper front. A single vertical line bisects these
indentations. Ukyou is shaking with excitement. Suddenly, Ryouga
stops and blinks as something dawns on him.)
Ryouga: Wait!
Ukyou(snaps): What?
Ryouga: This all happened when you were five, right?
Ukyou: I guess so.
Tsubasa: (nods) It did.
Ryouga: And Tsubasa put your bodies in cryo-stasis?
Tsubasa: Hai.
Ryouga: Shouldn't the bodies be five years old?
Ukyou: (blinks) I hadn't thought of that...oh no!
Tsubasa: Don't worry. Both your bodies are developed. The cure to
Brinarian fever was discovered about five months after I transferred
your intelligences. Unfortunately, you were gone by then, but I did
cure the bodies. I knew that if you ever returned that you'd want
mature bodies, so I've been letting them mature in the tanks.
Ukyou: Arigato, Tsubasa! (Ukyou hugs her, and Tsubasa beams. Ukyou
releases her and steps back self-consciously after a moment) Well,
let's see them.
(Tsubasa nods and pulls out a tiny device that looks like a remote
control. He taps a button, and the metal indent on the right cylinder
splits along its vertical line and slides under the metal sheath. We
can now see a glass wall, behind which is a boy's body. He is
floating in a light pink liquid and appears to be about seventeen.
His body from mid-waist down is obscured, but he is apparently naked.
The boy is handsome, with chinese features and long black hair.)
Ukyou(apprehensively): Who's that?
Tsubasa: Mousse. (worried) I'll open Ukyou-sama's now.
Tarou: Brace yourself, Ukyou.
(Ukyou nods mutely and grits her teeth. Everyone watches the cylinder
with anticipation-except Mousse, who is looking at a vaguely human-shaped
sensor.)
Mousse: That isn't much of a body.
Ukyou(hisses): Quiet! [Please, please, please...]
(Tsubasa hits another button, and the metal slides apart. Ukyou's human
body is revealed. Like Mousse, Ukyou's body is naked from the waist up.
Unlike Mousse, however, it is most definitely female.
Switch back to Jyusenkyou, just outside Cologne's hut. Ranma is
balancing himself upside-down on one finger, and is holding a large
rock in his free hand. Cologne perches on a nearby tree stump.)
Cologne: now, boy, you must feel the Force around and through you like
a mist. Concentrate... (Ranma looks like he is)...spin the mist into
a strand with your will. (Ranma begins to sweat) Probe with it and
latch onto that which you wish to lift. (pauses) Now, gently...lift.
(Shakily at first, but then with increasing steadiness, three nearby
rocks rise off the ground and hover in the air.)
Cologne(grudgingly): Good, you're a quick study. Now I want you to
move them to the...
(Ranma tumbles and lands on his back. The rocks drop with dull thuds.)
Cologne: Boy! That was _not_ what I asked you to do.
Ranma: (groans) What do you want from me? I'm only human.
Cologne: No you're not. You are Jedi. You are not human, you are more
than human.
Ranma: Tell that to my head...
Cologne: You're still thinking in terms of physical power.
Ranma: (sits up) Isn't that what it's all about? The Jedi are warriors,
pure and simple, right?
Cologne: (sighs) No they aren't. (shakes head) It is time you learned
more about the Jedi.
Ranma: How?
(Cologne points with her staff at a twisted and deformed tree. Ranma
looks at it and frowns.)
Ranma: In there? (Cologne nods) That place feels...
Cologne: It is strong in the Dark Side.
(Ranma's frown deepens, and he stands up, absently picking up his
lightsabre.)
Cologne: You won't need that.
Ranma: And you also said that lifting the rock would be easy. I'll
believe you...in another lifetime, maybe.
Cologne: (shrugs) As you wish...
(Ranma grunts and walks over to the tree. He examines it for a
minute, then discovers an opening between two roots. He squeezes
into it and emerges in a cramped, damp cave. He stalks down the
corridor-like cave-shying away from a pool of water being fed by a
dripping from the ceiling-fingering his lightsabre. Abruptly, a
mist flows up from farther down the cave and obscures everything.
Ranma snaps out his weapon and activates it, casting blue rays into
the mist. Suddenly, the air behind him is split by a resounding cry.
He whirls and sees a shadowy figure rushing at him. Apparently without
stopping to think, Ranma swings his lightsabre and cuts it down. The
mist parts slightly, and Ranma gasps in shock. The figure lying dead
on the ground is Ukyou, somehow human, and with an expression of
stunned horror on her face. Not long after we see Ranma climb out of
the cave and walk over to Cologne. She looks up at him and smiles.)
Cologne: Now boy, are you ready to learn?
Ranma: No I'm not. What was that supposed to be?
Cologne: (shrugs) It's symbolic of a possible future.
Ranma: WHAT?!?
Cologne: The cave always reveals a possible future to those who enter.
It's different for each one.
Ranma: You don't know what I saw?
Cologne: Of course not. I know what it would show me, but not what it
would show you.
Ranma: Is there any way I can prevent it?
Cologne: By not allowing yourself to serve the Dark Side. By following my
teachings and remaining so that I can teach them.
Ranma: I need something more direct.
Cologne: You won't get it.
Ranma: Then I'm leaving.
Cologne: You can't! You're not ready!
Ranma: (walking away) I know enough. I won't let Ucchan die!
(Cologne stares after him for a second, then sighs and shakes her head. Cut
back to Tsubasa's lab on Bespin. Everybody-except Mousse-is staring at the
newly-revealed body of Ukyou...which just happens to be female. Ukyou's
expression is vying between surprise and joy, Tsubasa is pale, and Ryouga,
Akane, and Tarou are shocked.)
Akane: She _is_ female!
Tarou: But how could Tsubasa love a girl?
Ukyou: I'm a girl! Ranchan will be so happy!!!
Ryouga: She's a lesbian. It's the only explanation.
Mousse: I keep telling you that she's a _he_. That's why Ukyou is a girl.
Tarou(growls): If you call Tsubasa a boy again Mousse, I'll tear you apart.
(to Tsubasa) Excuse me, but this idiot needs proof.
Tsubasa(edgy): Well, actually...
Tarou: (grabs the top of her dress) Sorry about this. (he rips down, peeling
the dress off, to reveal...)
(...two wads of kleenex, which fall slowly to the ground and leave Tsubasa's
flat chest revealed. Tarou stares for a second, then jumps back with a
"gaah". Tsubasa smiles weakly.)
Tsubasa: Surprise again...
Ryouga(shocked/horrified): TRANSVESTITE!!! You're a transvestite!
Mousse: Told you so.
(Tarou is in a steaming rage. He stomps over to Tsubasa and picks him up by
the neck.)
Tarou(deadly quiet): You _lied_ to us, you... (losing it)...you twisted,
perverted, hentai, fagot, transvestite FREAK! (begins to shake him) DIE!!!
Tsubasa(struggling for breath): I...can...explain...
Ukyou: Don't kill he...him!
Tarou: Why not?
Ukyou: Tsubasa's the only one who can put me back in my real body. After he
does that, you can kill him.
Tarou: Oh, very well.
(He drops Tsubasa, who lands and begins gasping for breath.)
Tsubasa: As I said *gasp* I can explain *wheeze* please come *gasp* with me...
Akane(suspicious): Where to?
Tsubasa: A place where we can *gasp* wait while the bodies are moved to the
transference *wheeze* centre.
Ukyou: Fine, and on the way you can explain this.
(Cut to a hallway, where Tsubasa is again leading the somewhat disgusted
group.)
Tsubasa: ...knew Ukyou wouldn't love me as a girl, so when the fever came I
took the chance to make her new body male, and to adjust her engrams to the
same purpose, not to mention...
Ukyou(sickened): ...make me love you.
Tsubasa: But you always loved me! You just never expressed it because you
knew how people would react.
Akane(sneers): So it wasn't an accident, you caused Ukyou to lose her memories
when you tried to alter them. (pause) You disgust me.
(They come to a door. This one is smaller, and not guarded. It slides open,
and they all step in. Kunou is seated at the head of a long table, calmly
eating dinner. Everybody except Tsubasa stops in shock. Then, with a cry of
rage, Ryouga leaps onto the table and activates his Brella. The weapon
flashes to life, but is suddenly snatched from his hand by a grappling cable.
Everybody looks over at the corner, where Shampoo Fett calmly reels in her
prize.)
Mousse(surprise): SHAMPOO!!! (he leaps at her)
Shampoo: Nani? (he glomps her) Aiya! Mad droid!
Mousse: Shampoo! Shampoo! My darling Shampoo! (pulls back) How do I
know you again?
(Shampoo takes the opportunity to place her hand in between them. There
is a flash of blue light and Mousse is flung across the room. Kunou
leaps to his feet, his lightsabre crackling to life. Ryouga wastes no
time in pulling out his bandanna-blaster while Ukyou cocks her spatula-
shot. Both begin unleashing a volley of shots, but Kunou deftly catches
them all on his lightsabre. Then he gestures with his free hand, and
Ryouga's weapon flies from his grip to Kunou's. Tarou looks as if he
is about to join the fray when Tsubasa calmly places a blaster to his
temple. Akane also appears as if she is about to join, when a troop
of stormtroopers pour into the room from two side doors. Both she and
Ukyou stop in mid-action. Kunou shuts down his lightsabre and sits.)
Kunou: It is most fortuitous that thou hath decided to be civil.
(gestures to the table) Please sit.
(With prompting from the stormtroopers, everyone except Mousse sits
down at the table. The droid is lying against the wall, a burn mark
on his chest. Shampoo also sits, and so does Tsubasa, who is using
one hand to hold his dress in place. Tsubasa looks like he just
killed his father, while Shampoo is smiling cockily. Kunou claps his
hands.)
Kunou: Food for my most welcome guests. (some servants hurry to
fulfill the request)
Ukyou(glaring at Tsubasa): You _betrayed_ us, you...(hissing)...you
slimy, disgusting, perverted, sickening, traitorous BASTARD!
(Each word slams into Tsubasa like a missile, and he shrinks more
and more in on himself.)
Tsubasa(weakly): I had no choice... (desperate) They arrived just
before you, if I'd known that you were...
(Ukyou throws her head angrily to the side, and Tsubasa trails off.)
Kunou: My dear princess, you are not eating.
Akane: Go to hell, Kunou.
Kunou: (sighs) Nay, gentle Akane, (melodramatic pause) for in these
past years without your presence I have languished in most horrible
infernos of despair and remorse. I do lament most fully my laxness
in guarding you from those foul sorcerers who whisked you away from
my embrace.
Akane: Huh?
Kunou: But fear not, for our love shall never be denied by those ever-
accursed servants of the Dark Side, and we shall travel the stars together
for the betterment of the Empire!
Akane: I'm not going anywhere with you!
Kunou: (sighs) I see the foul sorceries still hold sway upon your blessed
soul. It is of no import, for I shall seek out the perpetuators of these
evil magicks and undo dually them and him!
(Mousse shakes his head and rises to his feet.)
Mousse: Shampoo! What happened?
(Shampoo cocks her arm at Mousse. A tiny ion blaster pops out of her
wristguard.)
Shampoo: Stay back, crazy droid.
Mousse: Shampoo! Don't you remember me?
Shampoo: No. Where Shampoo meet crazy droid?
Mousse: I don't know. That's why I asked you.
Ryouga: Mousse, be quiet! We're in enough...
Shampoo(shocked): MOUSSE?!?!?
Mousse: You remember me?
Shampoo: It not possible! Mousse human! You droid!
Mousse: But I _am_ human. Just ask him. (points at Tsubasa)
Shampoo: Is true, train-vest-eat?
Tsubasa(weakly): I prefer uniquely wardrobed individual...and yes. He
is Mousse.
Shampoo: Shampoo no believe it! Crazy droid can't...wait...maybe crazy
droid Mousse.
Mousse: (sitting down) I'm so glad we cleared that up. Now...how do I
know you?
Shampoo: If you is Mousse, then you and Shampoo growed up same place.
Mousse always...say he love Shampoo, but he weak. Shampoo keep pounding
him until he leave for to train on far world. Shampoo no miss him, she
happy he never come back.
Ukyou: (looks at Tsubasa angrily) How come Mousse can remember things and
I can't?
Tsubasa(quietly): Well, Mousse wasn't the one I was concentrating my
efforts on. He simply got caught in the feedback loop, and the memory
wipe would have been imperfect at best. It may even degrade further.
(Another glare from Ukyou causes Tsubasa to crumple up like a crushed
paper doll.)
Ryouga: Okay, now that that's sorted out...Kunou. What do you plan on doing
with us?
Kunou: (sips from his wineglass) With you? Nothing. I shall leave you
with friend Tsubasa, who may do with you as he pleases. I shall be taking
the fair Akane with me, to ensure her safety.
(Akane glares. Ukyou looks disgusted. Ryouga, Tarou and Mousse look
perplexed, while Shampoo is angry.)
Shampoo: Shampoo hope Kunou-Jedi not going back on word. He say Shampoo
could take Ryo-lonely back to Hut. (Ryouga and Tarou gasp)
Kunou: Very well, do what you wish with Solo.
Shampoo(sarcastically): Arigato...(normal tone) but Shampoo need make sure
he no escape. Friend Conditioner capture Ryo-lonely once and she lock up,
but when she check him on he no there, instead little pig there.
(Akane blinks and Ryouga looks at her with a worried expression, but she
simply rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Ryouga sighs in relief.)
Tarou(under breath): Thick as a brick...
Kunou: Friend Tsubasa, art thou in possession of a device to ensure that
Solo will not through foulest deceit and trickery escape from yon noble
seeker of those who flee?
Tsubasa(miserable): I don't...wait. (looks up) I do have a carbon freezing
facility...
Kunou: Excellent.
(Kunou sips his wine, than after a moment his eyes widen and he spits it out
in a stream.)
Kunou(shaking voice): He comes!
Shampoo: Who?
Kunou(growls): That miserable cur who cheated me of victory at the Battle
of Dojo! That foul sorcerer, that conniving dog, that...
Akane(surprised): _Ranma_!
Ukyou(just as surprised): Coming here? (starry eyed) he's coming to rescue
me...er...us!
(Kunou leaps to his feet.)
Tarou: (leaning back) What's your hurry, Kunou?
Kunou(snarls): Bounty hunter, gather them up. We go to the facility now! We
must be prepared by the time he arrives! (turns to a stormtrooper) You! Tell
them to delay him for as long as possible. He'll be in an X-wing. (sneers)
At last I shall have my revenge!
(Cut to space, near Bespin. Ranma's X-wing pulls out of hyperspace in a flash
of pseudo-motion. He pulls it towards the planet. In his cockpit, Ranma has
a perplexed look.)
Ranma: [Why did I come here?] (pauses) [Wait, I can feel Ukyou! She's here
and she's in danger! I've gotta save her!]
(Just then a squadron of Gunboats pull away from Cloud City and bee-line
for Ranma's craft.)
Ranma: [So they want to play, eh?] (his fighter's wings lock into combat
position) Alright, let's play.
(Switch scenes to a crude factory-like facility, the middle of which is
dominated by a monstrous machine which is hanging over a round pit in the
floor. The entire group from the impromptu dinner party is there. Tarou,
growling menacingly, is in chains, but everybody else is free. Shampoo is
standing as far as possible from Mousse. Tsubasa examines readouts.)
Kunou: Is it ready yet?
Tsubasa: No, I need (pulls a lever) to adjust it perfectly (twists a knob)
or Solo-kun will die.
Ryouga: Don't call me Solo-kun.
Shampoo: Ryo-lonely no good to Shampoo dead.
Kunou: Very well, but hurry. (paces about)
Tsubasa: (after a few minutes) There, we're ready.
Kunou: Excellent. Throw him in!
(Two stormtroopers grab Ryouga and pull him towards the pit.)
Ryouga: Wait! Don't I get a last request?
Kunou: I am honourable. What do you desire?
Ryouga: To say something to Akane... (she looks at him curiously)
Kunou: Quickly.
Ryouga: Akane...I... (she blinks; he struggles for a moment then blurts)
I love you! I have always loved you! And I always will!
Akane: ... (and) ... (not to mention) ...
Kunou: Whelp! I should...
Officer: (running in) Lord Kunou! Lord Kunou!
Kunou: (activating lightsabre) What? Can you not see that I am otherwise
occupied?
Officer: (blanches) I just...that X-wing, it's destroyed our forces and
is heading for the city!
Kunou: WHAT?!? Are my forces _totally_ incompetent?
Tarou(sneers): Like leader, like soldier.
Kunou: (grabs Akane's wrist) Come, princess, we must prepare! Soon you
shall be free!
(He begins to drag Akane towards a door not too far away. Akane stares
at Ryouga, her expression a mixture of confusion, surprise, and...concern?
Pity? She snaps out of her confusion as the door slides open.)
Akane: Ryouga! I... (she's cut off as the door closes)
Ryouga(despairing): AKANE!
(He stretches his hand towards where she disappeared, then it falls to his
side in despair.)
Shampoo: okay, Ryo-lonely, into freezing...(stops for some reason, perhaps
having to do with the blaster Tsubasa is holding to her head) Nani?
Ukyou(surprised): Tsubasa?
Tsubasa(determined): I _won't_ betray you, Ukyou-sama. They never told me
about you. I'm sorry.
(Abruptly, the three dozen or so stormtroopers about the room lock their
rifles into position.)
Ukyou: Tarou!
(She launches a spatula which cleaves the thermos on his belt. There is a
splash and a metallic snap as the chains are ripped apart by Tarou-minotaur.
He bellows in rage and flies into two troopers, bowling them over. Ukyou
leaps into action and launches a flurry of spatulas into the higher reaches
and catwalk, knocking multiple opponents off them. Mousse turns and snaps
a chain around a trooper's ankle; with a jerk he pulls the soldier off his
feet and uses him to clear the platform of troopers. Ryouga cries out in
a bellow of rage and despair much like Tarou's and charges the nearby
soldiers, promptly tearing them apart. The rest of the troopers don't
even fare as well as those ones. They finish up and calm down. Tsubasa
is still holding the blaster to Shampoo's head.)
Tsubasa: If we hurry, we can catch up with Kunou.
Ryouga: Hai!
(He begins to run...straight towards the pit.)
Ukyou: RYOUGA! WRONG WAY!
Ryouga: Huh?
(He tries to stop, but his momentum is too great and with a yelp he plummets
into the pit. The machine comes to life, and steam pours out of the hole.
Shampoo uses the distraction as a chance to grab Tsubasa's arm and flip him
into Ukyou. Both tumble to the ground. Tarou bellows in rage, but she
merely cocks her wrist blaster and strikes him with a flash of blue energy.
Tarou drops to his minotaur haunches, blood-shot eyes unfocused. Shampoo
swings her blaster to point at Mousse.)
Shampoo: Stay back, crazy Mousse-droid!
Mousse: Shampoo! What? Why? How?
Shampoo: Shampoo take Ryo-lonely back to the Hut. (sneers) You think train-
vest-eat stop her? Ha! Shampoo always win!
(As Ukyou and Tsubasa scramble to their feet, the steam stops and a large
metal claw grinds into the hole. Their is a clamping sound, and the claw
retracts, carrying a block of brownish carbonite in a techno-box. Sticking
out of the block, and covered with a skin-tight sheath of carbonite are
Ryouga's face, one hand and a knee. His expression is horrified. Shampoo
reaches over and taps a button. The claw moves to the side of the pit and
releases the block. It lands vertically, and Shampoo kicks it onto its
back.)
Shampoo: No follow Shampoo! (swings her blaster from Ukyou, to Tsubasa,
to Tarou, to Mousse) Or I blow up you!
(She reaches down and touches something on the techno-box. It hovers off
the ground and Shampoo begins to walk backward, with one hand on the block
and her blaster still panning the room. Tarou begins to shake his head as
the door opens, and is on his feet by the time it closes. He bellows.)
Mousse: Shampoo! I'm coming, Shampoo! (both run to the door)
Ukyou: Wait! What about...(the door closes behind them; weakly) Akane...
(sighs) I guess it's up to me. C'mon, Tsubasa.
Tsubasa: Hai, Ukyou-sama.
Ukyou: Don't call me that!
(They run out. Cut to elsewhere in cloud City. Ranma is stalking down
one of the hallways with a determined expression. He stops, and two
troopers burst out of a side door. They are surprised by his presence,
but he is not surprised by theirs. With a single swing he cuts them
down. He runs by the bodies without a second glance and turns the
corner...to come face-to-face with Shampoo.)
Shampoo: Nani?
Ranma: Out of my way!
(He swings his lightsabre, but Shampoo leaps over it and lands on the
block of carbonite behind her.)
Shampoo: Who stupid boy?
Ranma: I said get out of my way!
Shampoo: Why in such hurry? (casually raises her wrist blaster)
Rane both examining a screen.)
Ukyou: The transports ago nowhere!
(She fires a blast but Ranma catches it on his lightsabre. Gritting her
teeth, she lets loose with a volley of blaster fire, all of which Ranma
easily catches. With a cry, he leaps into the air and knocks Shampoo
off the block. She rolls behind the block and comes up in a defensive
stance. Ranma now stands on the carbonite-still not having noticed
who's in it {not that he'd care if he did}. Shampoo reaches behind
her and unhooks a short pole from her backpack. Ranma flips over her
as she flips a switch on the pole and a large, glowing sphere expands
from the far end. They exchange a few blows, but Ranma's lightsabre
seems to bounce off the super-reflective ball on Shampoo's weapon.)
Shampoo: Ha! Stupid Jedi! Shampoo know how to deal with you!
(She comes in with a series of high overhead swings, all of which
Ranma deflects with ease.)
Ranma: I don't have the time to bother with you! Now, Cologne told me...
Shampoo: (stops) Cologne?
Ranma: (points his lightsabre at her) MOKO TAKABISHA SABRE TECHNIQUE!!!
(The lightsabre expands into a ball of blue energy. Shampoo barely
has time to blink before the ball consumes her. Ranma shuts down his
weapon, and Shampoo is revealed to be embedded in the wall with "X's"
for eyes.)
Ranma: There...now to find Ucchan.
(He runs off. After a moment, Shampoo shakes her head and steps out
of the wall woozily. She blinks, then her hands go to her face.)
Shampoo: AIYA! Shampoo beat! (pauses) But Jedi is cute... (excited)
Must find husband!
Voice: Wait.
Shampoo: (turning) Nani? Oh, is you.
(We see a figure in the shadows, but can't make whoever it is out.)
Figure: Do not bother to chase him. I will make sure he comes to you
soon enough. Now take Solo to the Hut.
Shampoo: But...
Figure: (holds up a hand) Trust me. Now go.
Shampoo: Hai.
(She begins pushing the carbonite past the figure, who melts into the
shadows and disappears. Cut to the lab where Mousse and Ukyou's human
bodies are stored. Kunou walks in with a struggling Akane.)
Kunou: Yes! He shall come here! I can feel it!
Akane: Let me go! (struggle futilely)
Kunou: (sighs) His presence is causing you distress, my fair princess.
I fear you shall cause harm to yourself. Allow me to secure you until
I destroy that vile sorcerer.
(He pulls her over to a pile of cable and ties her up with it.)
Akane: Let me go! _Let_ _me_ _go_!!!
Kunou: Fear not, you shall be free soon enough!
(Just then, Ukyou and Tsubasa rush in. Ukyou sees the situation and
extends her spatula to battle length.)
Ukyou: Okay, Kunou! Let Akane go!
Akane: Ukyou! How'd you escape?
Ukyou(grudgingly): Tsubasa helped.
Akane: Tsubasa?!? That hentai helped?
Tsubasa: I did it for Ukyou-sama.
Kunou: (activates his lightsabre) Traitorous whelp! You shall die for
defying the Empire!
Ukyou: The only person who's going to die here is you!
(They charge, and fly past each other with red and metallic grey flashes
as they swing their respective weapons. As Ukyou stops, her battle
spatula falls forward, cut off her arm. Kunou turns with a sneer.)
Ukyou: My spatula?!?
Kunou: Ha! No droid is a match for a Jedi ninja! HAR!
(He gestures and Ukyou is flung across the room, to collide with the
wall next to her tank. She collapses, apparently dazed.)
Tsubasa: NO!
(He fires off two quick rounds with his blaster. Kunou whirls and
catches them both, then gestures and Tsubasa is flung away to slam
into the wall. He falls unconscious, and Kunou turns back to Ukyou.)
Kunou: Now to finish you off...
Voice: KUUUUNNNOOOUUU!!!!
(Kunou spins, to see Ranma outlined in the doorway, blue lightsabre
activated.)
Ranma: Get _away_ from Ucchan!
Akane: RANMA!
Ukyou: Ranchan?!
Kunou: At least we meet, foul sorcerer. Know that I, Tatewaki Kunou,
Jedi ninja and Blue Thunder of the Empire, do hold you most wholly
responsible for the enslavement of the fair Akane's heart. And for this,
I shall seek vengeance. For it has been revealed to me that only one
of us shall leave this room alive!
Ranma: (staring at Ukyou's body) What the...human...
Ukyou: Watch out, Ranchan!
(Ranma parries Kunou's first swing. Cut away {yeah, it is nasty} and go
to a landing pad outside of Cloud City. Shampoo's ship, the Bonbori, is
parked on the pad, and she directs two stormtroopers to load Ryouga onto
the craft. They finish, and with a wicked smile, Shampoo enters and the
hatch slides shut. The troopers position themselves on a catwalk, but
frozen by a blood-curdling roar. Tarou-still a minotaur-rushes up the
catwalk and doesn't even slow down as he flings them over the side and
into the clouds. Mousse is right behind him, but both are too late as
the Bonbori lifts from the pad and speeds away too fast for Tarou to
follow. He bellows.)
Mousse: Shampoo! No! Don't leave me!
Tarou: Mooo! Growl! Mooo! Snort!
Mousse: Eh? (Tarou makes pouring gestures) Oh!
(Mousse pops a thermos and a pack of clothes out of his shoulder and hands
them to Tarou. He then looks away as Tarou transforms and dresses.)
Tarou: Okay, let's go.
Mousse: (turns to face the wall) Where?
Tarou: To find the others so we can go after her!
Mousse: Hai! Good idea!
(Cut back to the lab, where Ranma and Kunou are exchanging blows. Akane
is still tied up, Tsubasa is still unconscious. Ukyou is one her feet,
but is unwilling or unable to come to Ranma's aid. The two combatants
seem very evenly matched. Ranma is faster and a better natural fighter,
but Kunou is a fully trained Jedi who has had a lot more experience with
his lightsabre. Their blades cross in a lightning quick exchange. Red
and blue flash as both Ranma and Kunou look for an opening in the other's
defences.)
Kunou: You (parry) are (thrust) good! (block) It has been (dodge) a
long (swing) time since (feint) I have fought a worthy opponent!
(Ranma chops down powerfully, but Kunou blocks it. The two struggle
for a moment, then Kunou throws Ranma back. He rolls to his feet.)
Ranma: Don't you ever shut up?
(Ranma comes in with a series of swings that instantly put Kunou on
the defensive. However, this time Ranma doesn't stick purely to his
lightsabre. With a cry, he turn kicks Kunou in the stomach, following
up with a backhand swing and a downward swipe. Kunou avoids the
series and comes back with a low, fast strike. Ranma brushes it aside
almost disdainfully and uppercuts Kunou. Kunou staggers, but manages
to parry Ranma's three follow-up attacks. Kunou is still off-balance
when he performs a powerful thrust, and he overextends himself,
allowing Ranma to grab his wrist and pull him off his feet. Kunou
flies into one of the spider-droids, and barely manages to rise to
his knees by the time Ranma leaps in. Ranma attacks, driving Kunou's
lightsabre to the side.)
Ranma: Do you yield?
Tsubasa: (just waking up) Wha? Who?
Ranma: (looks over sharply) Who? A new opponent...
(In the process of looking at Tsubasa, Ranma takes his eyes off Kunou.
With a triumphant yell, he swings his lightsabre around in a wide arc
that sends the hand Ranma was holding his lightsabre with flying away.
Ranma cries out in pain and falls to his knees, clutching the bloody
stump where his hand used to be.)
Akane: Ranma! Ukyou(shrieks): _RANCHAN_!!!
Kunou: I do not yield, Dark Jedi, I _destroy_!
(He pulls up his lightsabre to finish off Ranma.)
Ukyou: NO!
(She launches a spatula which cuts open Kunou's shoulder, causing him
to cry out.)
Kunou: You! (turns to her) Will die for that!
(He grabs the spider-droid and hurls it at Ukyou. She dodges to the
side, and the droid crashes into her tank, shattering the glass. She
snaps her head around and looks up. The spider-droid is half in and
half-out of the tank. Pink liquid flows out, tinged with a red stream.
The source of that stream is one of the droid's legs...which is
sticking right through Ukyou's body. Ukyou watches in horror as the
colour drains from her human form. Tsubasa almost mirrors the process,
and Akane gasps.)
Ukyou(absolute despair): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Ranma looks over and sees the body; his eyes come alight with rage.
Leaping to his feet, he ignores his stump and thrusts his good hand
towards his severed one. The lightsabre flies from it and settles into
his grip.)
Ranma: You killed Ucchan! DIE!
(Kunou spins about as Ranma rushes him. They sprint past each other
with a simultaneous flash from their lightsabres. Kunou winds up
facing Akane-who flinches-and Ranma ends up facing Tsubasa. Ranma
spins and snaps his lightsabre into position, but Kunou doesn't move.
Instead, his weapon falls from his finger and he collapses to his
knees, clutching his chest.)
Kunou: (coughs up a little blood) I've won... (falls forward onto both
hands, with obvious effort he lifts his head to look at Akane and
stretches his hand towards her) You're free... (the light starts
draining from his eyes) ...my...princess...
(He dies. A single tear rolls down Akane's cheek. Ranma, however, is
not touched. He stalks over to Kunou's body, deactivating his light-
sabre and buckling it to his belt. He reaches down and pulls Kunou up
off the floor, turning the dead Jedi to face him. Kunou's face is
strangely calm.)
Ranma: Get up! (raging) I'm not finished with you! (shakes the body)
Now get up! (shakes Kunou) Get up! Get up!
(Ukyou's metallic hand closes over Ranma's wrist.)
Ukyou: He's dead, Ranma. Leave him be.
Ranma: (seems to shake something off) Ucchan? You're alive?
Ukyou(calm facade cracks): Hai... (begins to break down) At least...in
this form... (breaks down completely) Oh Ranchan!!!
(Ranma drops Kunou and holds Ukyou gently as she heaves with tearless
sobs.)
Ranma: (to Tsubasa) Take my lightsabre and free Akane. (turns back to
Ukyou) There there, Ucchan. It'll be alright...there, there.
(Tsubasa removes Ranma's lightsabre and gingerly cuts Akane free. Akane
starts to move towards Ranma and Ukyou, but Tsubasa stops her.)
Tsubasa: Here, help me with this instead.
(He points at Mousse's tank.)
Akane: Why?
Tsubasa: (looks at Ukyou) I want to bring happiness to at least one
person...(Akane nods mutely)
(Cut to a corridor in Cloud City. A squadron of stormtroopers trot down
it, weapons at the ready. Suddenly, a tiny spherical object falls into
their midst and explodes, scattering them like leaves. Tarou and Mousse
drop from the ceiling and mop up those still conscious. They both start
down the hall and presently turn a corner. They are now in a long glass
tunnel stretching from one tower to another, with a thin metal walkway
for a floor. On the opposite side is the other group.)
Tarou: _There_ you are! (runs over) We've been looking all over for...
(stops) Jeez! Ranma, are you all right?
(Ranma is supporting the weeping Ukyou, and his stump arm is in tight to
his chest. Akane and Tsubasa are leading a cryo-tank on a hover platform.
Mousse runs up beside Tarou.)
Mousse: What happened?
Ranma: (distant look) I'd rather not talk about it. (Ukyou heaves with
another dry sob)
(Tarou lets them both pass and falls in step with Akane; so does Mousse.)
Tarou: What happened?
Akane: (grimaces) You know Ukyou's body?
Tarou: Hai...
Akane: (sighs) Kunou killed it.
Tarou: And...
Akane: And Ranma killed him.
Tarou: Good for him. Kunou had it coming.
Akane(sadly): No he didn't. Kunou wasn't really evil, just misled...
Tarou: If you say so... (looks to his right; startled) TIE!
Akane: What?
Tarou: TIE fighter! Everybody down!
(Everybody, of course, does not drop to the ground but instead looks to
the right. There, sure enough, is a TIE fighter that shrieks towards the
airwalk. Before anybody can react, it lets out a dual burst of green
laser fire. The blasts slam into the glass and shatter it like a rock
through... well...glass. For a moment, the rush of wind threatens to
toss everyone off the bridge, but they grab the tank and manage to hold
on...except Ranma and Ukyou, who are too far away to safely reach it.
With a cry, Ranma tosses Ukyou at the tank and Tarou grabs her. Unfortun-
ately, Ranma has left himself off-balance and he tumbles over the edge
without a sound.)
Ukyou: RANCHAN!!!
(Everyone gasps, but no one is able to move for a few seconds until the
wind dies down. Then Ukyou begins to make a rush to the side of the
bridge, but Tarou brings her up short with a strong hand.)
Ukyou: Let me go! I've got to help him!
Tarou: There's nothing you can do.
Ukyou: You're lying! I lost my own life! I won't lose his too!
(Akane comes up and touches something on Ukyou's back. She goes limp,
and Tarou tosses her over his shoulder.)
Tarou: Let's get to the Falcon. We aren't safe here.
(Everybody nods, and they rapidly push the tank along the bridge.
Switch to Ranma, who is tumbling end over end along the outside of
the tower. He passes a tightly wound coil of ducting, and with a
cry extends his good hand. The coil snaps off the tower at one end
and unfurls itself into Ranma's waiting hand. He grasps it in a
death grip, and falls a few dozen more feet before the coil snaps
taut, almost tearing his arm out of the socket and sending him
hurtling at the wall. He aims at a window, and in a shower of
glass shards he releases the duct and rolls through the hallway
beyond until he is brought to an abrupt halt by a wall. He remains
there for a moment, breathing harshly. Besides his amputated hand;
he now has many other injuries: multiple cuts from the window, a
large bump on his head, several purpling bruises, and an arm which
is limp and heavy. With obvious effort, he climbs to his feet and
staggers down the hal. He starts around a corner, but backtracks
almost immediately. Fumbling for his lightsabre with his wrenched
arm, he manages to get it out and activated by the time a figure
walks around the corner. It is Darth Saotome. In one paw, he
carries a thermos.)
Saotome: {We meet again, son.}
Ranma(growls): Saaoootommmee! What are _you_ doing here?
Saotome: {I've come for you.}
Ranma: Come to finish what you started?
Saotome: (pauses) {I've come to take you to the Dark Side.}
Ranma: (backing up very slowly) What are you talking about?
Saotome: {Your journey is already started.} (clears screen) {It is
only a matter of time now.}
Ranma: (still backing up) I don't know what you mean...
Saotome: {Yes you do.} (clears screen) {Remember the power you felt
on Hoth, and just recently the ecstasy you felt in killing Kunou?}
(Ranma looks uneasy; clears screen) {You can't deny what runs in
your blood.} (clears screen) {You are a member of the
Dark Jedi now. Come with me, son.}
Ranma: (now next to a door) NEVER!
(He blasts the lock with his lightsabre and runs through the door.)
Saotome: [You can run, but you can't hide.]
(Cut to the landing pad where the Hibiki Falcon rests. Akane and
Tarou leave the building. Tarou still has Ukyou draped over his
shoulder. They examine the empty surroundings for a moment, then
Akane nods at the exit and Tsubasa and Mousse push the tank out and
towards the Falcon.)
Tarou: Let's hurry, before they...
(Suddenly a squad of stormtroopers erupt out of the door. Tarou's
eyes narrow, and he tosses Ukyou on top of the tank.)
Tarou: Into the ship now!
(He kicks a trooper in the face, sending him flying back to collide
with several of his friends. Mousse stops pushing the tank, and Akane
takes his place. He then uses his duck-launcher to aid Tarou in
holding off the stormtroopers. fter a minute or so, Akane and Tsubasa
have wheeled (floated?) the tank up the ramp. Tsubasa whistles and
both Tarou and Mousse break off and run for the ship. The troopers
lock their weapons for a nice shot at the fleeing duo's backs, but
suddenly have other problems as one of the Falcon's quad turrets comes
to life and starts blasting them apart. Tarou and Mousse board, and
Tarou runs for the cockpit. Tsubasa sits in the co-pilot's seat.
Tarou notices that the ship's monitors are already on.)
Tarou: You had the ship prepped earlier?
Tsubasa: Hai, and I had the hyperdrive fixed. I ordered it as soon as
I discovered Ukyou-sama. I knew we would be leaving soon and with haste.
Tarou(grunts): Maybe you weren't as bad as I thought you were...maybe...
(The Falcon lifts off the ground and flies away, while Akane takes pot-
shots at the milling troopers with the quad cannon. Cut back to Ranma.
He steps wearily onto a catwalk over a wide, deep pit. He looks around,
and apparently satisfied that nobody is about, he begins to shamble
across, lightsabre held in his good hand. Reaching the halfway point-
which has two long arms of pipes extending from each side of the catwalk-
he leans on the guardrail, his breathing harsh and slow. When he looks up
again, Darth Saotome is standing on the other side of the catwalk. Ranma
looks frantically over his shoulder at the other side, but dismisses the
idea of flight. He turns back and attempts to rise to his feet, finally
settling for leaning against the rail with his lightsabre held
threateningly before him. Saotome steps forward.)
Saotome: {You're weak.}
Ranma(softly): Loss of blood will do that...why do you care?
Saotome: {Why, son? Why do you resist me?} (clears screen) {Why do you
fight your heritage? Why do you not join me?}
Ranma(weakly): I'll never join you!
Saotome: {Why?}
Ranma: (growls) Cause you killed my father.
(Saotome stops in absolute shock and amazement. He blinks slowly and
takes a step back.)
Saotome: {She never told you...} (clears screen) {I should have expected
as much.}
Ranma: Who never told me what?
Saotome: {Nodoka...your mother...never told you...}
Ranma: What? Come on, tell me! You're going to kill me anyway...
Saotome: {Ranma, I _am_ your father.}
(Ranma blinks, then laughs weakly.)
Ranma: This isn't a soap opera...besides, you're a panda!
Saotome: {Really...}
(Saotome lifts up the thermos he was carrying, tears off the top, and
splashes it's contents into his face. Ranma's eyes widen as Saotome is
replaced by a medium-sized, stocky man with dark skin and a bald head.
The armour instantly clamps together so that it is no longer mismatching,
but a set of black armour much like Kunou's-minus the cape. The man reaches
up and pulls off his translator harness, then tosses it behind him.)
Saotome-man: I am Genma Skywalker, your father.
Ranma: No...
Genma(takes a few steps forward): Join me, Ranma. Join me, and together we
will destroy the Emperor and rule the universe as father and son!
Ranma: No.
(He climbs over the guardrail and onto the arm. Genma runs over.)
Genma: Ranma! Don't! You must realize the power you will gain with me!
(Ranma stops, almost unwillingly) The Force is strong with you, and the
Dark Side even stronger. (extends his hand) Join me, and our future will
be glorious!
(Ranma half-extends his own hand, but stops. Behind Genma, he sees
something. Faces, the faces of his friends, his mother, even Ryouga and
Cologne; all looking sad.)
Ranma: NO!
(He lets go and plummets into the pit. Genma slams his fist against the
guardrail.)
Genma: DAMN! (gets control of himself) Oh well. There's always tomorrow.
(He turns away and leaves. Follow Ranma on his fall down the pit. He
tumbles-seemingly endlessly-and begins to drift towards the side. This
time neither help nor the Force saves him, merely luck. He shoots into a
hole in the side of the wall and slides down a long, sloping tunnel for
several seconds before coming to rest on a large iron portcullis. After
a few moments, he wearily raises his head.)
Ranma: Well, that's over...
(The portal opens beneath him and he falls a short distance before landing
on an antennae hanging beneath Cloud City. Scrambling for purchase, he
manages to grab a hold just as the portcullis closes and sighs in
resignation.)
Ranma:(grimaces in pain) Why can't anything be simple?
(He closes his eyes for a moment, then they snap open in sudden
realization. He shifts slightly, then closes his eyes again in
concentration.)
Ranma(softly): Akane...Akane...
(Cut back to the Falcon's cockpit. Akane has joined Tsubasa and Tarou.
Suddenly, she shakes her head and slaps her palm against her ear.)
Tarou: Something wrong, Akane?
Akane: No, just this annoying buzzing in my ear. I'll be fine.
Tsubasa: I've located the Bonbori on scanners. We can still catch it.
Tarou: Good, feed me the...
Tsubasa: Incoming TIE's! Evasive!
(Tarou pulls the ship to the side, avoiding the main volley of the three
squadrons of TIE Interceptors. However, some do hit and the ship is
jostled.)
Mousse(over intercom): There are too many! We'll never make it!
Akane: Mousse, Gosunkugi's not here. Let's keep it that way. We just
have to lose them somehow.
Tarou: Under.
Tsubasa: What?
Akane: (sighs) I thought you were over that.
Tarou: Sorry, backsliding. I meant under the city. Being that close to
the repulser pod will throw off the pursuit, and... (pauses; to Tsubasa)
Did you fix that unusual ion generator on the ship?
Tsubasa: Hai, though it's very impractical...
(Tarou smiles evilly.)
Tarou: Let's get rid of some TIE's!
(He pulls the ship around, and with a series of complex manoeuvres, manages
to fly in under Cloud City. The Falcon sweeps around the hover pod to
throw off any visual pursuit, then comes about to hover near the main pod.)
Tsubasa: (shakes head) Well, they can't sensor lock on us. Our own sensors
are less than worthless with all this interference. But we can't last
forever...
Tarou: We won't have to.
Akane: (eyes widen) RANMA!
Tarou: What?
Akane: Ranma's here! I can feel him!
Tarou: (pauses) If you say so. Where exactly?
Akane: I can't tell. (frowns) That direction. (waves her hand vaguely to
the right)
Tarou: All right.
Tsubasa: You don't actually believe her, do you?
Tarou: Yes I do. And if you argue with me, I won't hesitate to throw you
out.
Tsubasa: But we're over a hundred miles up!
Tarou: So? Can't you fly? I thought everyone could.
Tsubasa: (sighs) Fine. Get us killed. See if I care. I'm going to go
check on Ukyou-sama.
(He leaves, and Akane takes the co-pilot's seat. Not to long after, the
antennae upon which Ranma hangs comes into view. Ranma is apparently
unconscious. He is barely hanging on, and his head is thrown back; eyes
closed. He doesn't react to the Falcon's presence.)
Akane(worried): We'll never lock a tractor beam on him with all this
interference, and he won't be able to climb aboard.
Tarou: I'll have to go out for him. Stay here. (gets up)
Akane: Be careful. That hoverpod is causing powerful downdrafts.
(Tarou grunts and leaves. After a moment, Tsubasa enters.)
Tsubasa: Where's Tarou-kun going?
Akane: (points at the viewscreen) getting Ranma.
Tsubasa(startled): He really _is_ here! How...never mind. I don't want
to know.
(They watch as Tarou-minotaur flies out, pulls Ranma off the antennae
and returns to the ship.)
Akane: Keep this thing steady.
(She leaves Tsubasa and heads into the lounge-like area of the ship. In
there, Mousse is playing 3-D chess with himself while Ukyou sits in the
corner, looking miserable. Almost as soon as Akane enters, Tarou-
minotaur does too. He has Ranma draped in his arms. Ukyou's head snaps
up, and her self-pitying expression is instantly replaced by one of
concern. She leaps to her feet.)
Akane: How is he?
(Tarou snorts and shrugs. Ukyou runs over and gently removes Ranma from
Tarou's arms, laying him on a bed nearby. Tarou walks out as Akane comes
over. Ukyou frowns as she sees Ranma's strangely becalmed face.)
Ukyou: Ranchan? Ranchan, can you hear me?
(Ranma's eyes open slowly, and he gives Ukyou a cracked half-smile. He
tries to reach up to her, but is unable to. Ukyou grasps his hand
gently.)
Ranma(whispers): Ucchan...I'm okay?
Ukyou: Hai. What happened?
Ranma: I...I...fell into a conduit and managed to grab the antennae when
I came out...I've been hanging ever since...
Ukyou: (nods) Okay, you're safe now, Ranchan. Get some sleep. (Ranma's
eyes close, and he falls into slumber) He'll be fine. I'll take care of
him.
(Tarou-in human form-enters and looks at Akane. She nods. They head up
to the cockpit, where Tsubasa waits.)
Tsubasa: Well?
Akane: He'll live.
Tsubasa(mutters): Great. Just great.
Tarou: Okay, let's get out of here.
Tsubasa: But those TIE's are swarming all over the city! And more have
probably joined them...
Tarou: (grins) That's what I'm counting on.
(The Falcon begins to move, and with a lurch, dives into the clouds. It
continues for a moment, then pulls a 180 and heads back towards Cloud City.
In the cockpit, Tarou reaches for a familiar joystick and pops the safety.)
Tarou: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU CANNON!
(He jams the trigger, and an exterior view shows the multi-coloured beam
lance out from the ship and strike Cloud City. Tarou allows the beam to
continue for about half a minute, then shuts it down and pull abruptly
to the side. He shoots away from the hoverpod and comes out from under
Cloud City at Mach 10, heading for space. True to Tsubasa's prediction,
the TIE's have come in close to the city to look for them, and have been
joined by an additional three squadrons of Assault Gunboats. They all
turn to give chase, but are too slow. The city is suddenly covered with
multiple explosions which throw a hail of shrapnel into the Imperial
forces and force them to take evasive action. Cloud City tilts to its
side, and teeters like a ball on a ledge for a moment, then is trans-
formed into a fireball as the volatile gases inside explode and expand
outward. The explosion fries the imperials, and the Hibiki Falcon
makes for space unhindered, but not unobserved. In a shuttle pulling
into space on an opposite vector, Genma and Admiral Harkov watch the
death of Cloud City.)
Harkov: I guess you failed, at least in one mission.
Genma: No, old friend, I succeeded better than I could possible have
hoped for. (watches the Falcon disappear from view) Take us to
Coruscant, it's time to begin project "Rebirth."
Harkov: Hai.
(Cut to an operating room in the rebel fleet. Tofu is fitting a
bionic hand on a much better-looking Ranma. Akane and Nodoka are
talking nearby, but we can't make out what they're saying. Ukyou, as
always, hovers near her Ranchan.)
Tofu: How's that feel, Ranma?
(Ranma flexes the bionic appendage.)
Ranma: Fine, but how will it affect my curse?
Tofu: Not too much. I fit it with a self-adjusting textile appearance.
It can imitate both your male and female hands. I just need to do a
few more adjustments.
(He moves to the IV stand Ranma's hooked to, and prods at his hand with
some tools. Nodoka and Akane finish talking and nod to each other.
Akane wanders over to the window near Ranma's bed, while Nodoka walks to
the foot of it.)
Nodoka: I'm glad to see you're all right, son.
Ranma(coldly): I'm fine, mother. Just fine.
(Nodoka steps back, hurt, and Ranma sighs and shakes her head.)
Ranma: Sorry, mom. I'm just on edge.
Nodoka(relieved): That's understandable. Now our first...
(Just then Kasumi walks in with a datacard.)
Tofu: (glasses fog up) K...Kasumi! How nice to see you!
(He jams a tool into Ranma's hand, and sparks start to fly from it.
Ranma shrieks and begins to thrash in pain.)
Ukyou: Ranchan!
(She cuddles his face. At this moment, Mousse runs in. He is now human,
wearing a long white robe, and sporting black hair and a pair of
glasses...which are on his forehead.)
Mousse: Hey everyone! I'm human! And I can... (slams into a wall)
..see... (falls back, unconscious)
IV Stand: Ukyou-sama! (glomp)
Ukyou: Go away, you hentai!
(She starts to clobber Tsubasa with one hand, while still holding Ranma
with the other. Unfortunately for Ranma, his flailing free hand brushes
Akane's behind and she whirls with a look of doom on her face.)
Akane: You HENTAI!!!
(She slams her mallet over his head. Nodoka shakes her head as the
scene pulls away, and we see Ranma being clobbered, cuddled, and shocked
in the window, which recedes into the distance along with the rest of the
rebel fleet.)
THE END
All comments, as always, are to be directed to chmcenil@upei.ca or
apeori@ug.cs.dal.ca. Now, to answer just a few questions before they're
asked...
When Kunou was dragging Akane away in Cloud City, she said "Ryouga! I..."
and was cut off. This _could_ have been a declaration of love for the
lost boy, or it could have been "I love Ranma" or "I love Tarou" or "I
want to have a snack" or a whole bunch of things. Don't assume anything,
and keep it the mystery it was meant to be.
You also may have noticed that on Hoth, Ranma was a girl every time he was
outside. This is because snow is frozen water, which tends to melt against
skin.
Okay...any more question, comments, flames, and so on, please e-mail them
to us!
Jya na!
Blade & Epsilon
From: chmcneil@upei.ca
This is the sequel to "Ran Wars." It is also the second
episode in the Ran Wars trilogy. Like the first one, this is
an _identity_ crossover. Hopefully, this story will be as
enjoyable as the first. So hang on for the ride, and "May the
Force get the flu."
(Scene: Space, infinite and timeless. As we watch, the screen
is suddenly filled with something gold. It is too close to see
clearly, but recedes into the background until we can make it
out.)
RAN
WARS
(The words fade into the distance. As we watch, text begins to
roll diagonally into the screen from the bottom.)
Episode X/-31
The Empire Strikes Out
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was...
oops, wrong script...Two years ago, the rebel forces gained
their first major victory against the Empire with the destruct-
ion of the Happoudaikarin. This resulted in a schism of the
Imperial forces between Darth Saotome and the Kunous.
However, this has not been good for the rebels. Now caught
between the two opposing war machines, they have fled from Dojo.
And on a base on the planet Hoth, the rebels fight for survival...
(The text scrolls from sight. Out of the deepness of space, we
see a large wedge-shaped craft approaching. As it comes closer,
we see that it is surrounded by smaller wedge-shaped craft that
it literally dwarfs. This is the Super Star Destroyer. On its
bridge, we see Darth Saotome-who happens to be a panda in mis-
matched black armour-and Admiral Harkov.)
Harkov: The last of Kunou's strike force has been destroyed, lord.
Saotome(words print out on a computer screen mounted above and
behind his head): {Any significant damage?}
Harkov: Not from Kunou's forces, but the Black Rose used the attack
as a distraction to intercept one of our cargo convoys.
Saotome: {Kodachi is a devious one. This has gone on too long.}
(clears screen) {We need to destroy the Kunous once and for all or
our plans will be ended.}
Harkov: We've tried. We even had Hut send us assassins, but none
succeeded.
Saotome: {Then we need to find someone who can.} (pauses and clears
screen) {I have it! Contact Vice-Admiral Mikado and tell him to
prepare an assault on Hoth.}
Harkov: I was wondering when you'd get around to that.
Saotome: {But first we'll need a special probe...}
(Cut to a picture of an ice-blue planet spinning through space. We
see a snowy field. As we watch, a tantaun-sort of an ostrich/yak-
runs across the field. On its back, bundled up in heavy clothes,
is a pretty red-haired girl. She looks about her and pulls up her
goggles for a better view. As she watches, a meteor falls from the
sky and hits the ground several miles off.)
Ranma-chan(teeth chattering): Not _another_ meteor! I hate these
patrols, absolutely _hate_ them!
(Ranma is distracted by a beeping sound. She moves her hand to her
belt and removes a tiny device, which she flips open like a clam
shell.)
Ranma-chan(irritated): What?
(A face appears on the static-filled screen in the top part of the
device. It is a girl, with blue-black hair done up in two donut-like
curls on the sides of her head.)
Akane: You don't have to snap, Ranma.
Ranma-chan: S...so...I hate these patrols. Why do you insist that
I always go on them?
Akane: We need a good fighter to clear out the snow beasts, Ranma.
Ryouga'd never find his way back to base, Tarou'd have a hard time
working the equipment, and dad won't let me or the droids do it,
so that leaves you.
Ranma-chan: I don't know why King Soun is so worried about those
things. They're no threat.
Akane: Who knows? My dad's weird.
Ranma-chan(under her breath): _That's_ an understatement.
Akane(angry): What was that?
Ranma-chan(quickly): Er...uh...I said, that's very understanding...
Akane(complacent): Arigato, Ranma.
Ranma-chan: For a violent tomboy.
Akane(steaming): Why you...(gets control of herself) Just wait until
you get back, Ranma. By the way, it's getting late. You should come
back.
Ranma-chan: Uh...er...(sweats; looks into the distance) I...(excited)
I've got to check out a meteor that landed near her first! Heh
heh...yeah, the meteor!
Akane(sweetly): Fine. See you soon, Ranma. (she cuts off)
(Ranma-chan grumbles and turns her tantaun towards the meteor.)
Ranma-chan: [With any luck, by the time I get back she'll have
forgotten.] (there is an ominous roll of thunder...peculiar, since
it's a clear day) [I hate ominous rolls of thunder.] (starts off)
[I _hate_ patrols, I HATE this stupid rebellion, I _HATE_...]
(Cut to a rebel control room, where we see Akane slam a mike into
it's housing.)
Akane: Baka!
Ukyou: (standing nearby) What did Ranchan do this time?
Akane: That baka called me a tomboy!
Ukyou(patiently): Akane, he _always_ calls you a tomboy. He doesn't
mean it. Ranchan isn't mean.
Akane(accusing): You're biased! I can't trust your opinion.
Ukyou(defensively): I'm not biased. Just because I love him doesn't
mean I misjudge him.
Akane: You may think that, but you're programming's screwy.
Ukyou(looking slightly hurt): You always trusted my opinion before
Ranma showed up.
Akane: (sighs) I'm sorry, Ukyou. It's just that Ranma makes me so
mad sometimes. And to top it off, there's this marriage thing.
Ukyou: I've been telling you for the past couple of years that
there's a simple solution to the problem. _I'll_ marry Ranchan.
Akane(quickly): That'll never work! You're a droid!
Ukyou(confused): So?
(At this point, Mousse walks in and spots a tech.)
Mousse: Aha! Princess, I've found you. (walks over to the tech,
who is staring at him in onfusion) Come along, Princess.
Akane: (waves) Over here, Mousse.
(Mousse makes his way over.)
Mousse: Princess, someday I'll figure out how you move so fast.
Akane(giggles): Yes, I'm sure you will.
Ukyou: What is it, Mousse?
Mousse: (his glasses-like optics swing to Ukyou) Hello, Ukyou.
You can come too.
Akane: Where?
Mousse: Queen Nodoka and King Soun want to see you.
Akane: (sighs) What is it this time?
Mousse: (shrugs) Who knows? Come, we shouldn't keep them waiting.
Akane: Alright, let's get it over with.
(Cut back to Ranma-chan riding her tantaun. The sun is going down
in the background as she comes over a ridge. She looks down to
see a severely damaged pod of some type buried in the snow. Foot-
steps lead to and from the pod.)
Ranma-chan: Well, what do we have here? (rides her mount down to
it) Looks like an Imperial...
Voice(a girls voice, cutting her off): Ohhh, that tantaun is soooo
kawaii!
(Suddenly, a cute girl in a set of pink tights pops out of the snow
and grasps the tantaun around the neck. The tantaun shrieks.)
Girl: Eliza! Eliza!
Ranma-chan: What the...
Girl: Be a good girl, Eliza, and come with Azusa.
(Ranma-chan kicks Azusa off.)
Ranma-chan: Hey! Get off my tantaun! What are you doing out here?
Azusa: Who are you? Why are you taking Azusa's Eliza from her!
(gets up and begins banging Ranma-chan ineffectually on the leg with
her fists) Give Azusa back her Eliza!
Ranma-chan: What are you talking about? I better report this.
(pulls out her com-link; Azusa starts pelting her with snowballs)
This is Echo-4 to Echo base. Come in, Echo base.
(The snowballs are getting larger. Ranma-chan ignores them. After
a moment, Tarou's face forms on the screen)
Tarou: What is it, Ranma?
Ranma-chan: (larger and larger snowballs) Hi, Tarou. Listen, I
found something out here. It looks like an Imperial...
(The pod connects solidly with the back of her head. Ranma-chan's
eyes roll up and her face falls on the com-link, shutting it off.)
Azusa: ELIZA!
(She picks up the tantaun-with the unconscious Ranma-chan still
strapped to it-and runs off, carrying it over her head while laugh-
ing excitedly. The scene switches, and we see a conference room of
some type. Soun and Nodoka sitting at an oval-shaped table. Soun
looks determined, while Nodoka looks tired and bored. It should be
noted that Nodoka's clothing is considerable more regal-looking than
in the last movie.)
Nodoka: This will never work, Soun.
Soun: It must! (slams his fist into his palm) Akane must marry Ranma!
Nodoka: Why? Both our planets and their old forms of government are
gone.
Soun: That makes it all the more important to preserve the old
traditions! With a strong union of Akane and Ranma at the head of
the rebellion, we can not fail to overthrow the Empire! (tears of
determination)
Nodoka: (sighs) But Ranma doesn't _want_ to lead the rebellion. In
fact, I don't think he _should_ lead it. He's only here because I
promised to make him a Jedi.
Soun: How goes his training, by the way?
Nodoka: Not as fast as he'd like. He's so impatient, and I can't
help but hold back because...
Soun: (tears of consolation) Hai, I understand.
(Just then the door opens and Akane walks in. She looks thoroughly
disgusted. Following her closely is Ukyou. Finally Mousse enters,
or tries to, at least, missing the door by a few feet and embedding
himself in the wall. With a sigh, Ukyou extends her battle spatula
and peels her fellow droid of the wall with it. She drags him in.
Akane stands before her father with her hands on her hips.)
Akane: Okay, dad. What is it this time?
Soun: Daughter, Queen Nodoka and I have reached a decision on the
matter of your engagement to Ranma.
Nodoka: Actually, you came up with this ridiculous idea. I just
can't veto it.
Akane: Unless it has to do with dissolving my engagement to that
baka hentai freak, I don't want to hear it.
Nodoka(patiently): Akane, my son is not a hentai.
Soun: Hai, the Queen is right. Now, as to the matter of the
marriage...since we have been safe on Hoth for nearly a year now, I
have decided that we will be completely secure here. Thus, we can
finally conduct a proper wedding.
Akane and Ukyou: WHAT?!?
Soun: (holds up his hand) No objections. The wedding will take
place a week from today.
Akane: Dad! You can't DO this!
Ukyou: That's right, _I'm_ going to marry Ranchan!
Soun: (gigantic) I am the KING! You will obey me!
Akane: I will not! That lame old monarchy is dead!
Nodoka: I'm sorry, girls. There was nothing I could do.
Akane: I...
(Tarou bursts in, cutting Akane off.)
Tarou: Trouble!
Ukyou(after getting over her initial surprise): Care to explain,
Tarou?
Tarou: BIG trouble!
Ukyou: Uh huh. That was very helpful, Tarou.
Nodoka(patiently): Tarou, what exactly is the trouble?
Tarou: (pauses) Ranma.
Akane: And what about Ranma?
Tarou: He's been captured.
Everyone: NANI?!?
Tarou: Ranma called a few minute ago. He said something about the
Empire, then his transmission cut off.
Nodoka: (leaping to her feet) Do you know where he was?
Tarou: No, he cut off before we could fix.
Akane: I called him about fifteen minutes ago. We have those coordin-
ates. He said something about going to check out a meteor, so he had
to be close to that area.
Ukyou: Then what are we waiting for? Let's form search parties and
find Ranchan!
Everyone: Hai!
(The scene switches to a snowy valley at night. Three shuttles float
down from the sky and land with muffled thumps. As we watch, one of
the hatches slide open and a ramp descends to the ground. A figure
strides down the ramp and stands dramatically in the snow. He is a
boy in his late teens, with brown hair down up in an airy style and a
handsome, if arrogant, face. He wears the uniform of an Imperial Vice-
Admiral.)
Boy: This will do nicely.
(An officer exits the shuttle.)
Officer: Vice-Admiral Mikado, we managed to evade the rebel's sensor
net.
Mikado: Excellent. Set up our base here. How long until the fleet
arrives?
Officer: Two days.
Mikado: Plenty of time to scout out this rebel base. (throws his
hair back) I'll lead the first search party in the morning. [And
perhaps capture a few rebels.]
(Cut to a hangar in the rebel base. It is snowing heavily outside.
Ukyou and Akane stand near the partially open blast doors. In the
background, we can see the Hibiki Falcon resting on its landing
struts. As they watch, a speeder flies in, followed closely by what
appears to be a flying minotaur. Akane runs up to the speeder, while
Ukyou hands the minotaur a teapot and some clothes. The minotaur
leaves, just as the speeder's hood pops open to reveal Ryouga. He
jumps out.)
Akane: Did you find him, Ryouga-kun?
Ryouga: No, but Tarou and I did find this.
(He reaches in, and with scant effort lifts out a large pod about
his size.)
Ukyou: That's an Imperial probe!
Ryouga: Hai. It doesn't look good...
(Just then, Gosunkugi, Tofu, Nodoka, and Mousse all ride in on
tantauns. Ukyou turns to them.)
Ukyou(doesn't sound very hopeful): Any luck?
Gosunkugi: No, we couldn't find him. It's getting cold out.
Nobody's ever been out in this cold before. He probably won't
make it, it's totally hopeless. We should start to plan his
memorial.
Akane: Shut up, Gosunkugi!
Nodoka: I'm afraid we'll have to shut the blast doors and hope
for the best.
Ukyou: No! I won't leave Ranchan out there alone!
(Before anyone can stop her, Ukyou charges into the snowstorm.)
Akane: Ukyou! Come back!
(She begins to take off after her droid, but Nodoka restrains
her.)
Nodoka: Let her go. She'll be okay.
Akane: [I only hope the same can be said for Ranma.]
(The blast doors slide shut with dreadful finality. Switch
scenes to a cave of some kind. Everything is covered with ice
and snow. There appears to be only one exit-a tunnel near one
side of the chamber. Scattered around the cave are various
kawaii (stuffed animals, balloons, articles of clothing, etc.)-and
just plain weird(lampposts, uniforms, missiles, etc.)-objects
partially buried in the snow and ice. Incased in a pillar of ice
in the centre of the room is a tantaun in a starry-eyed pose.
Strapped to its back and also covered in ice is Ranma-chan. As
we watch, her eyes blink open. She struggles to move, without
much success. Presently she stops and concentrates, then begins
to vibrate, faster and faster until...)
Ranma-chan: KIYA!!!
(She bursts from the ice in a storm of shards. With a cry, she
collapses to the floor. The tantaun is still partially covered.)
Ranma-chan: Aaagh! What happened? (she pulls herself to her
feet and looks about) [What the...hey, this is all the stuff
that's been going missing from the base! What's it doing here?]
(begins to walk around the chamber, examining the objects-each of
which has a little nameplate) [That girl must have... Where did
that girl go, anyway?]
(Ranma-chan looks around, more cautiously this time. Just then,
we hear the sounds of blaster fire. Ranma-chan's eyes widen, and
she positions herself at the side of the entrance so that anybody
coming in won't see her. Suddenly a voice cries out.)
Azusa: Oooohhh! That helmet is so kawaii! (sounds of a struggle)
Voice: Get'er off of me! (the struggle intensifies)
Azusa: Get away! This is Azusa's little Pierre!
Voice#2: Hold her. There's more rooms down here.
(We hear the sounds of people walking. Presently, a snowtrooper
walks into the chamber. Ranma-chan swiftly performs a vicious
chop to the side of the trooper's neck, knocking him unconscious.
Blaster bolts spray into the room. She "eeps" and dodges to the
side.)
Voice #3: She went that way!
Voice#2: Two of em, huh? Fine. C'mon, the Vice-Admiral wants
them alive.
(Several snowtroopers rush into the chamber. Ranma-chan snaps
out her lightsabre and deflects a few shots, then leaps up and
knocks three troopers unconscious with a flying pivot kick.
Unfortunately, she lands on an ice slick and slips off her feet.
With a cry, she rams her jaw into a _hard_ chunk of rock and
falls unconscious.)
Trooper: Well, that was...easy.
(Cut scenes to a snowstorm. We can't see anything but white
for a moment, and then a shadowy figure separates itself from
the snow. It's Ukyou, and she is concentrating on a device in
her arm. She frowns as she sees something on it she obviously
doesn't like.)
Ukyou: [Not a sign of Ranchan...but I can't give up.] (the
device on her arm beeps) [What's this? Life signs! And metal!
It must be Ranchan! Wait...there's too much metal and too many
life signs for it to be just Ranma. I should check this out...]
(She walks off into the storm. Cut to the conference room from
before. The probe is on the table. Sitting around it are
Nodoka, Tofu, Soun, Akane, Mousse, and Tarou.)
Soun: We have a problem.
Nodoka: Wait. (to Tarou) Where's Ryouga? He was supposed to be
here.
Tarou: (shrugs) He decided to come by himself.
Tofu: We'll fill him in when he gets back, then.
Soun: Hai. As I was saying, we have a problem. This is an
Imperial probe. Now, I'm pretty sure that it did not transmit
our location, but I can't be 100% certain. Therefore, we shall
have to evacuate this base.
Akane: But what about R..Ukyou! We can't leave her here!
Nodoka(obviously worried, but putting on a good face for every-
body's benefit): Don't worry about Ranma, Akane...
Akane(defiantly): Who's worried about that hentai?
Nodoka: ...we need at least a week to evacuate, so we have
plenty of time to find them.
Tarou: Or their bodies.
Tofu: You're not helping, Tarou.
Soun: We all know the situation now, so let's get some rest.
There's nothing that can't or mustn't wait until morning.
(They all nod and leave. We remain in the room for a few sec-
onds, until Ryouga bursts in.)
Ryouga: I'm here! (looks about) Huh? Where did everyone go?
(scratches head) I could have sworn the meeting was here.
Maybe I'm early! (sits down) I'll just wait for them.
(Cut scenes, this time to a room. It is dark, being lit only
by a few scattered candles. On a chaise lounge in the centre
lies Ranma-chan. She is clad in her red silk tunic and black
pants, and is unconscious. With a groan she sits up, rubbing
her chin and blinking away the unconsciousness.)
Ranma-chan: I have to find some way to avoid all this head-
banging...it's beginning to get bad for my health. (looks
around) Huh? Where am I? (notices herself) Where's my snow-
gear? (pats an empty spot on her belt; more worried) And my
lightsabre?
Voice: I believe you mean this?
(One of the shadowy corners is suddenly filled with the light
of Ranma's lightsabre. This reveals Mikado-dressed casually-
who is holding it.)
Mikado: What an interesting weapon. (he swings it a few times
experimentally) It has grace and beauty, much like its owner.
(he steps from the shadows, deactivating it) Tell me, what is
one as lovely as yourself doing with such a deadly weapon?
Ranma-chan: (blinks) Who the hell are you?
Mikado: I am Mikado Sanzenin, Imperial Vice-Admiral. And you?
Ranma-chan: Ranma Skywalker.
Mikado: What an unusual name. (he comes closer) And what an un-
usual girl.
Ranma-chan: Hey! I ain't no girl!
Mikado: (chuckles) Did you hit your head too hard during your
rescue? (Ranma-chan blinks) Oh, speaking of your rescue, you
owe me for that.
Ranma-chan: Owe you? Owe _you_?!? Yeah right, I don't owe you
anythwmmmmmm...
(She suddenly has trouble speaking, perhaps having something to
do with the kiss Mikado is planting on her lips.)
Ranma-chan: .......!
(Mikado pulls back and stares at Ranma-chan. Her eyes are wide,
her mouth open an unhealthy amount, and her arms are stiff at her
sides.)
Mikado: Oh, to be so honoured by my kiss that I strike her speech-
less...(flicks his hair) You still have the old touch.
(Ranma-chan turns around-slowly and carefully-and walks-slowly and
carefully-to the door. She reaches up-slowly and carefully-and
opens it-slowly and carefully-and the door slides shut behind her.
We follow her as she walks-all together now, slowly and carefully-
down the hall until she comes to a door marked "Bathroom". She
steps in-not fast and the opposite of carelessly-and goes over-if
you don't know what should come here, you rival Kunou in brains-to
the bath, grasps the top-quickly and decisively-and twists it with
a low growl. Back in the room, Mikado has turned the lights on,
and is sipping a drink while tossing Ranma's lightsabre in the air.)
Mikado: [998. Two more women and I shall have finally reached my
goal. Perhaps I should pay a visit to that other girl we picked up
in the cave...] Hmm, this is more fun then I thought it would be.
And to think that in only two days the Empire will arrive and I can
clear out that rebel base.
(A hand reaches out from behind him and snatches the lightsabre from
the air. Mikado leaps from his chair and spins to see a _VERY_
_ANGRY_ black-haired boy with a ponytail who is wearing the same
outfit as the girl from before.)
Mikado: Where did you come from? And who are you?
Ranma: MIKADO! For what you did to me I will _KILL_ you! (snaps his
lightsabre on) RAAH!
(He charges Mikado and narrowly misses taking the pretty-boy's head
off.)
Mikado(angry): I don't know who you are, but nobody assaults Vice-
Admiral Mikado Sanzenin of the Imperial Navy and lives!
Ranma: Are you going to fight, or just talk me to death?
(Ranma runs at him with a series of vicious overhead chops but Mikado
simply taps his heels and slides away with hardly any effort.)
Ranma: What the...
Mikado: A-grav skates. The latest development in Imperial technology.
Ranma: Who cares?
(Ranma rushes at Mikado, but he skates to the side and backhands Ranma
against the wall. Ranma turns to face Mikado.)
Ranma(grudgingly): You're good.
Mikado: I'm the best.
Ranma: Hardly.
(He leap kicks and Mikado dodges, but this time Ranma is prepared. He
whips around in mid-air and punches Mikado, who slides across the room
and into the wall.)
Mikado: So you too are skilled. This calls for more...powerful
measures. CYCLONE ATTACK!
(He goes into a spin, with one leg extended outward like a battering
ram. He spins faster and faster, then flies across the room at Ranma.)
Ranma: Oh please!
(He ducks under the whirling leg and uppercuts Mikado, who flies into
the air. Mikado pivots to land feet-first on the ceiling and...stays
there. Ranma blinks, but then leaps with his lightsabre and attempts
to chop Mikado down. He slides away and smiles evilly.)
Mikado: Prepare yourself, fool! Now I perform my Ultimate
Technique(tm)! (he puts his arms straight down and goes as stiff as
a board) WHIRLWIND FURY!
(He begins to spin again, but this time as he does his arms flail about
him like chains. He spins toward Ranma.)
Ranma: You have got to be kidding!
(He positions his lightsabre in front of himself. Mikado doesn't slow,
and it looks like he is about to run himself through when we notice he
has something in each hand. What they are becomes clear a moment later
as blaster fire starts spraying from Mikado in a vortex of lasers.
Ranma "eeps" and jumps away, then begins to furiously deflect the
blaster bolts. This continues for a few seconds, with Mikado raining
death on Ranma, who does everything he can to survive. Just when Ranma
appears to be failing, something saves his life.)
Azusa: Elaine! (the girl runs out of nowhere and leaps through the
laser storm without getting a scratch) Come to Azusa, Elaine!
(She collides with Mikado and they both fall to the ground.)
Mikado: Oof! Hey, you little brat! (Azusa snatches his blasters and
begins to pat them) Give me those!
(He snatches the blasters back.)
Azusa: ELAINE!
Ranma: (blinks) Okay...
(Mikado arrogantly stands and faces Ranma.)
Mikado: You were lucky, boy, but know (Azusa starts batting him on the
back of his head) that I shall not go so easy (Azusa picks up a lamp and
uses it to whap Mikado without success) on you this...
(Azusa slams a couch on him. He shuts up and falls forward, his arms
sticking up from under the couch. Azusa resnatches the blasters.)
Azusa: Elaine! It's so good you're back with mama-Azusa!
(Ranma walks over and overturns the couch. He picks up the semi-
conscious Mikado.)
Ranma(sneers): I could kill you for what you did...but I have a more
suitable punishment.
(He drops Mikado and walks out of the room, leaving him alone with *gulp*
Azusa. Cut to an exterior scene. It is still snowing, but we can see
several inter-connected metal domes at the bottom of the valley. Ukyou
lies at the top of the vale and peers into it, a hand shielding her
optics.)
Ukyou: [An Imperial compound? What's this doing here?] (she watches
some snowtroopers enter a door) [Only one way to find out.]
(Silently, she descends the snow-covered slope. She sneaks up to a
door, where two snowtroopers are on sentry duty, and extends her spatula
to battle length. With a swing that would put the Babe to shame, she
smashes the two guards into each other, knocking them out. Walking into
the compound, she hears the sounds of blaster fire...and a familiar voice.)
Ranma(far off but approaching rapidly): Hah! C'mon, you can do better
than that! (pauses; closer) Puh-leeze! You people are pathetic!
(Ukyou runs up to a nearby intersection of corridors, stopping just inside
her own to avoid a stream of blaster fire. As she watches, a smirking
Ranma sprints backwards into the intersection while absently deflecting
blaster fire with his lightsabre.)
Ukyou(glee): Ranchan!
Ranma(surprise): Ucchan?!?
(He turns, dropping his guard for about .02 nanoseconds. Of course, thanks
to the Law of Dramatic Effect and Plot-Enhancing Coincidences this is _just_
enough time for a blaster bolt to smash into his side and send him spinning
to the ground.)
Ukyou(horrified): RANCHAN!!! (with a growl, she leaps into the corridor
and faces the Seething Mass(tm) of stormtroopers) YOU HURT MY _RANCHAN_!!!!!
(She sends an absurd amount of mini-spatulas into the horde, and with brutal
efficiency cuts about half of them down before they reach her. The rest are
the unlucky ones...she pats her hands together when she's finished and turns
to Ranma with a look of chagrin.)
Ukyou: Ranchan? Are you okay? (he doesn't respond; with a worried look,
Ukyou kneels beside him and shakes him gently) Ranchan? Speak to me, Ranma!
Say something!
Ranma(groans): ...something...
Ukyou(relieved): Ranchan! You're all right!
(Ranma sits up with a little difficulty.)
Ranma: Of course I'm alright. It'll take more than a blaster bolt to put
down Ranma Skywalker!
(He gets to his feet, clutching his side.)
Ukyou: We'd better get you back to base so Tofu Wan can look at it.
Ranma: I'll be fine. (winces as he takes a step) But you're right about the
base, we have to warn them.
Ukyou: Let's find you some clothes.
Ranma(snaps): I'll be fine! (pause) Sorry Ucchan, we just don't have time to
waste. We have to get back.
(He begins to walk away with increasingly faltering steps; obviously more hurt
than he's letting on.)
Ranma: Have to get back to base, and tell...them about all....this... (begins
to stumble) ...have...to...warn...Akane...
(Ukyou looks after him with an unreadable expression for a moment.)
Ukyou: Here, let me help. (she walks over and places her shoulder under
Ranma's)
We'll warn...them.
(They walk away. Cut to a scene of space, where we see a hodge-podge of
craft in a flotilla. Occasionally dotted throughout the fleet are Star
Destroyers. For now, we focus on a ship near the centre. It is the
unusually shaped Black Rose, which now looks even more like its namesake
with a new black paint-job. We switch to the bridge of the ship, where
we see the megalomaniacal Kodachi sitting in a throne-like command chair
and studying some technical readouts. As we watch, the Dark Jedi Kunou
and his aide, the diminutive General Sasuke walk up to her.)
Kunou(angry): Kodachi!
Kodachi: (without looking up) Hai, that is my name.
Kunou: Do not attempt flippancy within the presence of my divine personage,
sister. For misfortunately, thou hath erred in your dealing with the
messenger of heaven in that you by lowest trickery didst send me, ME,
Tatewaki Kunou, the Blue Thunder of the Empire on a fool's errand!
Kodachi: Then it suited you just fine, didn't it?
(Kunou stutters and fumes and sputters and fumes some more, then storms out.)
Sasuke: You really shouldn't insult him, mistress...
(Kodachi whirls, her eyes ablaze. Sasuke almost-but not quite-shrivels.)
Kodachi: Do you presume to tell _me_ what to do, general?
Sasuke: (bowing frantically) No! No! I was just thinking that he would
be more manageable with a little tactical ego-stroking.
Kodachi: Ohohohohohoho! My brother has a large enough ego as it is. If
his power with the Force rivalled his ego, he'd be Emperor! Ohohohohohoho!
(pauses) Why are you here, general?
Sasuke: I felt it wise to deliver this report to you in person, mistress.
Kodachi(intrigued): Proceed.
Sasuke: Your spies within Saotome's forces have reported that Harkov is
setting up for a unilateral assault on the Hoth system.
Kodachi: The Hoth system? Hmmmm. (she smiles) It appears they are on
to something, Sasuke. And only one thing could warrant a unilateral
motion by the enemy fleet.
Sasuke: The rebels?
Kodachi: Hai! Ohohohohohoho! This is my chance! A well-placed assault
could spell doom for both Saotome and the Rebellion.
Sasuke: Excellent, mistress. Do you want me to alert the fleet?
Kodachi: (eyes narrow) Not just yet. That Saotome is a sneaky one. He
could have leaked us the info in a plot for an ambush. (pauses) No.
First, I will take the Black Rose to Hoth to confirm the rebel presence.
Ohohohohohohohoho! [And perhaps find my Ranma-sama...]
(Return to Hoth, where Ukyou is half-helping, half-dragging a shivering
Ranma-chan through the snow. Ranma-chan looks determined as they both
walk into the full force of the storm.)
Ukyou(shouting above the wind): We can't go on, Ranchan! We have to find
shelter or you'll freeze to death!
Ranma-chan: (teeth chattering) What? Oh no...we can't...stop. We have...
to warn...the base...before...it's...too...too...(begins to fall, but
Ukyou catches her)
Ukyou: Ranchan! Ranchan, are you okay?
Ranma-chan(angrily): I'm fine! (get's back to her feet) Let's...go!
Ukyou: I'm sorry, Ranma! I can't let you go on! You need shelter!
(Ukyou grabs Ranma-chan as the girl attempts to leave.)
Ranma-chan: Let...me go! I'm...a Jedi...Ninja...I can...handle...a...
little snow...
Ukyou: You're not a Jedi yet, Ranchan! You need shelter!
Ranma-chan: (shakes head) No! I can't...leave...Akane...alone! Not...now!
(She groans and clutches her side. Ukyou grabs Ranma-chan and slings her
over her shoulder.)
Ukyou: Sorry, Ranchan! You leave me no choice!
(Ranma-chan shivers, in too much pain to struggle.)
Ranma-chan: Put...me...down...please! (voice getting weaker) Have...to...
help...
(She begins to drift off as Ukyou searches for shelter. Suddenly, Ranma-
chan is snapped back to consciousness by a voice. It is the same voice
that spoke to him in Kodachi's room and in his X-wing during the last
movie.)
Voice(same ethereal quality): Boy...
Ranma-chan: Huh? Who the...
Ukyou: What was that, Ranchan?
Voice: There is no need to speak, boy. I can hear your thoughts.
Ranma-chan: [Who are you?]
Voice: In due time you will know. For now, you must come to me.
Ranma-chan: [Why?]
Voice(apparently to itself): WHY do they ALWAYS ask WHY?!? (to Ranma-
chan) So I can train you, you idiot.
Ranma-chan: [But...]
Voice: Nodoka will never train you like a Jedi was meant to be trained.
She fears the Dark Side too much.
Ranma-chan: [Dark Side?]
Voice: All questions will be answered when you come to me, boy.
Ranma-chan: [Where are you?]
Voice: Jusenkyou.
Ranma-chan: (pauses) [Nobody has any idea where that is! How am I
supposed to find it?]
Voice(fading): The probe...remember the probe...(fades away)
Ranma-chan: ....(falls unconscious)
Ukyou: Ranchan? (notices her condition) Poor boy. I'll never find a
cave in time at this rate.
(Her eyes narrow, and she shifts Ranma-chan's body to her other
shoulder. Then she raises her now-freed spatula arm, extending
the cooking implement/weapon to half battle length.)
Ukyou: So I'll have to make one.
(She smashes her spatula into a drift and begins to shovel out snow.
Shortly afterward, she has dug a hole large enough for one person.
She pushes Ranma-chan into it, then pulls herself into the opening,
blocking Ranma-chan from the wind and snow as best as she can with
her body.)
Ukyou: [You have to survive, Ranchan! You just do!]
(We cut to the bridge of the Black Rose, where the molted sky of
hyperspace is visible on the main screen. Kodachi sits in her
command chair and watches as the sky becomes starlines, and then
simply stars.)
Tech: We've exited hyperspace at a point 10,000 kilometres from the
planet Hoth, mistress.
Kodachi: Any sensor data that would suggest a rebel base?
Tech: Unavailable. The range, combined with the near-perpetual
storm fronts, make it impossible to determine anything.
Kodachi: That confirms it, then. We either have a rebel or a rival
Imperial base on that planet. Contact the fleet and inform them to
prepare a hammer operation for this sector.
Tech: That will take two days, mistress.
Kodachi: They have eight hours to be in position, and will await
_my_ order to strike.
Tech: But...(Kodachi glares at him)..uh...right away, mistress.
Kodachi: And prepare my shuttle for launch. Have three legions of
stormtroopers in an assault craft and awaiting my order in orbit
by 0630. (she stands up and makes her way to the bridge) [Soon,
Ranma-sama, soon we will be together again. Forever!] (cackles)
(Switch to a view of one of the snow and ice fields of Hoth. It
is morning, and the storm is over, allowing the bright red sun to
shine its light on the chrome hull of a snowspeeder. The speeder
careens over the ice field with ease. Inside the cockpit
we see Wedge trying to keep his attention on his flying and a
scanner at the same time, with reasonable success. Presently, we
hear a "ping" and a small blip appears on the scanner screen. He
smiles.)
Wedge: Echo base, this is Scout leader. I've detected life signs
and a metal signature.
Nodoka(over the radio): Roger, Scout leader. Echo base advises
caution, but set down near it. A transport will home in on your
location ASAP.
Wedge: Roger, over and out.
(He spins his speeder about, and starts a rapid descent towards a
large snowbank. As he approaches, one part of it abruptly crumbles
and falls away, revealing Ukyou standing up, with Ranma-chan over
her shoulder. She waves at the ship as it sets down. Cut to a
scene, apparently some time later. It is a medical centre of some
kind. In a large vertical tube we see Ranma-now male-floating in
a hot liquid that is most likely water. He wears a harness cover-
ing most of his chest and crotch, and has a breathing mask on.
Outside the tube, we see Tofu fiddling with some controls. Near
him, looking both worried and relieved, is Nodoka. Slightly further
away, Akane sits with an unreadable expression, watching Ranma
intently. Tarou, Ryouga, Mousse and Soun are clustered in a group
to one side. Ukyou is nowhere in sight. Presently, Tofu finishes
whatever he was doing.)
Tofu: There. He'll be fine, he just needs a couple of hours in the
tank.
Nodoka: (lets out her breath explosively) For a minute there I'd
thought I'd lost him.
Ryouga: What was that idiot doing out in the middle of the storm
without a snowsuit anyway?
Nodoka(glares at Ryouga; icy): I don't know. Ukyou's verbal
systems were one of the ones freeze-fried by the storm. We'll find
out soon enough.
Soun(crying partly in joy; partly in worry): Tofu wan, can't you
speed up the process? Every moment my son-in-law-to-be is incapaci-
tated *sob* wrenches at *choke* my heart...*sob, choke, sob, sob*
Tofu: Yes, but I think it would be a little hard on his...unusual
metabolism. I'm being forced to rewrite the medical journals with
all my Jusenkyou-cursed patients.
Tarou: You may have to risk it. We need to know what's out there.
Tofu: (stepping over to the control pad) Sorry, but I can't do that.
The safety of my patients is my first concern.
(Tarou snorts. At that point, Kasumi walks into the room, holding a
datacard.)
Kasumi: Tofu Wan, here's that medical data I borrowed from you.
Tofu: (glasses fog up) KASUMI! How wonderful of you to visit me!
(begins pushing buttons on the control pad) Just let me clean out my
garage and I'll be right with you!
(Everyone backs out of the way as Kasumi approaches Tofu. Inside the
tank, bubbles suddenly burst from the floor and obscure Ranma. When
they clear, his eyes are opening groggily.)
Kasumi: Here you go, doctor.
(She hands him the datacard. Tofu looks at it in surprise, while still
punching buttons at random.)
Tofu: A cookie? You baked for _me_? Arigato! (he grabs the card and
shoves it in his mouth; there are a bunch of crunching sounds) Mmmmm!
(swallows with some effort) Wonderful... (looks pale) You're such a
good cook, Kasumi!
Kasumi: (smiles indulgently) Arigato, Tofu Wan, but I didn't bake
anything. (pauses) Are you making edible datacards now?
(Ranma has now noticed his situation, and tries vainly to escape as
various unpleasant things-electrocution, banging about, burning, etc.-
happen to him.)
Tofu: Edible datacards? (pauses) What a _wonderful_ idea! I'll start on
it right away! You're brilliant, Kasumi!
Kasumi: (blushes) Well, I wouldn't say that...
Tofu: I really must commend you. (looks about) How'd we get to the clinic?
Kasumi: (giggles) You're silly. I really must be going, though. (she
starts to leave) See you later, Tofu Wan.
Tofu: Later? Am I late for something?
(She leaves and he stares after her for a moment, then sighs whimsically
and wipes his glasses.)
Tofu: Now where was I?
(He notices Ranma in the tank. The boy is hanging upside down, with
bubbles rising off him. His eyes are wide and glazed over, and his skin
is reddened.)
Tofu(concerned): Oh my! What happened here? Don't worry, Ranma, I'll
have you out of there in a jiffy.
(Cut to later. Ranma is lying on a bed, clad in his regular silk outfit.
Near him is Nodoka, hovering like a mother hen. Not too far off sits
Akane, her expression unreadable. Leaning against the wall is a sneering
Ryouga, with Tarou not too far away.)
Nodoka: Are you sure about this?
Ranma: Hai, they were definitely Imperials. (angry) We have to destroy
them _ASAP_.
Tarou: It's unlikely we'll be able to get to them before they send out a
signal. Besides, the fleet already knows we're here.
Ryouga: The only question is which fleet? And how long before they get
here?
Ranma: We still have to destroy them! We can't leave him just sitting
there, smiling smugly! Not after...(trails off)
Nodoka(calm): After what?
Ranma(sullenly): Nothing. (snaps at Akane) WHAT?!?
Akane(starts): Huh?
Ranma: Why are you _staring_ at me like that? You're getting some cheap
thrill out of seeing me hurt, I bet.
Akane(defensively): I am not!
Ranma: Yeah, and I'm an Imperial agent.
Akane(growls): Listen, you baka! I was only...concerned you'd slow us
down during the evacuation.
Ranma: Oh I'm sorry, miss high and mighty princess tomboy rebel leader,
if my being captured by the Empire ruined any of your plans!
(Nodoka smiles to herself and leaves. Akane shakes her fist at Ranma.)
Akane: If you weren't already in the hospital, I'd put you there!
Ranma: (rolls out of bed and faces her) I'm not an invalid!
Akane: I never said you were, but I can correct _that_ little oversight
if you want.
Tarou: Oh be quiet, you two. You sound like an old married couple.
(That brings them up short, and they whirl to glare at Tarou.)
Akane and Ranma: We are _NOT_ getting married!!!
Tarou: I never said you were. You just sound like you already are.
Ryouga(quickly): C'mon, we have more important things to do. If Ranma's
finished whining about his injuries...
Ranma: I wasn't whining!
Ryouga: Yes you were. Cowards like you are always whining.
Ranma: I am not a coward! If anyone's a coward here, it's you! You
missed the last raid!
Ryouga: Only because _somebody_ locked me in a closet!
Ranma: Nobody would _need_ to lock you in! You can't make your way out
of a wet paper bag, much less a closet!
(Ryouga growls, baring his fangs and activating his oddly-shaped Brella.)
Ryouga: Take that back, Ranma.
Ranma: That's Prince Ranma to you...peasant! (lightsabre on)
Ryouga: Don't you mean _Princess_ Ranma?
(The two go at it. Akane runs up and starts trying to pry them apart.)
Akane: Stop this! We have more important things to do!
(They ignore her. Tarou sighs deeply, shakes his head and leaves. The
two combatants are beginning to tear up the room when Akane pulls a large,
shining, mallet-shaped lightsabre out of nowhere and gives them both a
solid whack with it. Ranma pulls himself off the floor, rubbing the back
of his head.)
Ranma: What'd you do that for?
Akane: (breathing slowly and hovering menacingly over both boys) Because
you're acting like children, that's why! We have more important things to
do then fight amongst ourselves.
Ryouga(apologetically): I'm sorry, Akane. I just can't help myself where
this loser is concerned.
(Ranma opens his mouth, a scalding retort on his tongue, but a glare from
Akane brings him up short. Sullenly, he clamps his mouth shut and crosses
his arms. Ryouga gets up.)
Ryouga: Come on Akane, let's go. I don't want spend another minute with
_that_.
Akane: Well...(looks calmer)
Ryouga(quickly): You have to get down to the command centre, and Ranma
can't come in his condition, so I'll gladly escort you down.
Akane: (smiles) That's sweet, Ryouga-kun. Arigato, I think I'll take you
up on that.
(Ryouga grins stupidly, Ranma glares and frowns. Ryouga leads Akane out.)
Akane(from outside): The command centre's _this_ way, Ryouga.
Ryouga(outside): It is? Okay.
Ranma: (as their footsteps move away) Who needs 'em anyway? _I_ certainly
don't.
(At that point, the door slides open. Ranma looks over to see Ukyou
framed in the light from outside.)
Ranma: Ucchan! I thought you'd still be in repair and refit.
Ukyou: I was, but I convinced them to let me see you. (worried) Are you
okay?
Ranma: (smiles) Fine. I'll be back on the front lines in no time. (more
serious) Arigato, Ucchan. I _may_ not have made it back in such good
shape if you hadn't been there.
(Ukyou smiles, probably realizing that this was as close as Ranma's going
to get to admitting that she saved his life.)
Ukyou: You're welcome. I'm glad I did what I could.
(Suddenly, klaxons and sirens begin to blare.)
Ranma: Huh? What the...
Ukyou(fearful): I recognize that alarm.
Ranma: So do I. (swallows hard) An Imperial attack!
(Cut to a scene of the area of space just beyond Hoth. Star Destroyers,
frigates, capitals and assault craft flash out of hyperspace in groups
of three or four. Soon they are amassed in an impressive fleet of deadly
warships. Finally, the Super Star Destroyer comes out of hyperspace and
parks itself at the head of the flotilla. In the command centre of the
Super Star Destroyer, we see an angry-looking Darth Saotome looming over
a 1/4 sized hologram of Mikado. Admiral Harkov hovers in the background.)
Saotome: {This had BETTER be worth it, Mikado.} (clears screen) {This is
throwing my entire schedule off.}
Mikado: Trust me. The rebels know you're coming. If you didn't come now,
they'd be long gone.
Saotome(obviously irritated): {If _you_ hadn't let that rebel escape, we
wouldn't have had to come here so soon.}
Mikado: (swallows hard) Um...yeah...well...That isn't important. (looks
more confident) I only have three AT-ST walkers. I'll need a full assault
squad if you want that shield down.
Harkov: The dropships should be there in a few minutes. They'll have ample
firepower.
Mikado: Hai. I'll keep them busy until your forces arrive.
Saotome: {Go to it, then.} (Mikado disappears and Saotome turns to Admiral
Harkov; clears screen) {This puts a crimp in our plans. Without time to
prepare for Ranma...}
Harkov: (nods solemnly) We need to delay...somehow.
(Switch scenes to the main command centre of the rebel base. All the techs
are busy at their stations, while Nodoka watches a tactical holo, chewing
her lip. Nearby, Soun is bawling his eyes out while Akane tries to calm
him. Ryouga, Tarou and Gosunkugi sit at terminals nearby.)
Tarou: It's Saotome's fleet.
Gosunkugi: Latest reading: twenty Star Destroyers, thirty Interdictors,
fifty Victory Class, two hundred assorted gunships and frigates...and one
Super Star Destroyer. Even with twice our firepower, we couldn't possibly
hold up to this fleet. We're doomed, it's over, we might as well give up
now and save them the trouble.
(Everybody ignores him.)
Ryouga: I've got their positions and courses. Sector VI, 36, alpha
quadrant, heading 35 mark 13.
Nodoka(calmly): That puts the entire fleet in the middle of the sun, Ryouga.
Ryouga(puzzled): It does?
Tarou: I double-checked. (he hits a button) Here's their real headings.
(The holomap is suddenly dotted with tiny symbols and colour-coded lines.)
Nodoka: (nods) We still have a chance. Prepare the ion cannons for
bombardment bursts. We'll send the transports up directly after them.
(Ranma runs in with Ukyou, and begins pulling on a flight suit.)
Ranma: Good plan. Unfortunately, you'll only be able to send two fighter
escorts with each.
Nodoka: (whirls) What are you doing out of bed?
Ranma: (grins) You'll need every pilot you can get your hands on. I'm the
best.
Nodoka: You're also injured.
Ukyou: I tried to convince him to...
Gosunkugi: Imperial walkers spotted. Their target's going to be the shield
generator. Unless we send some speeders, we'll lose our only protection.
Of course, if we do send speeders our escorts will be severely depleted and
the fleet will blast our transports from the sky. Either way we lose.
Nodoka(to the sky): Doesn't he _ever_ have good news? Just for once, sur-
prise me and make him give good news.
Gosunkugi: There's another fleet coming out of hyperspace at the outer fringe
of the system. Imperials.
Tarou: You asked for that.
Ranma(to Tarou): Is that snowspeeder we modified still down in the hangar?
Tarou: (raises eyebrow) Yes, but I can't see how those speed boosters...
Ranma: (grins) That's great. (to Nodoka) I think I can handle them with just
ten speeders.
(Nodoka looks like she's going to object, but then nods mutely and Ranma runs
off before anyone can stop him. Tarou gets up.)
Tarou: I'll prep the Falcon.
(Ryouga looks over at Akane, who is still comforting her father.)
Ryouga: I'll stay.
Tarou: (sighs and shakes head) Hai.
(Switch scenes to the exterior of the rebel base. Soldiers run about in
trenches and scramble to set up temporary fortifications. More permanent
defences such as gun towers and blaster dishes swivel about to face the
AT-ST and titanic AT-AT walkers which are slowly approaching the base.
Presently, ten snowspeeders in loose diamond formations fly over the
soldiers and bee-line for the walkers.)
Ranma(in his cockpit): Ice leader to Ice squadron. Report in.
(A bunch of pilots report in, giving their code-names as "Ice-2", "Ice-5",
etc. Wedge also reports in with the code-name "Ice-3".)
Ranma: Okay. We're here to run interference. Split up so we won't make
easy targets, but stick with your wingman.
(In an AT-AT command room, we see Mikado and his aide watching a tactical
schematic on a screen.)
Aide: We have ten speeders coming in fast on our right flank, splitting
into pairs and choosing targets.
Mikado: I see them. Order the AT-ST's to concentrate on the rebel defences,
while all AT-AT's are to fire whenever possible at the rebel craft.
Aide: Hai.
(An exterior view shows the speeders homing in on the AT-AT formation.
They break up and swing about in groups of two, launching volleys of
red laser fire into the massive quadruped war machines. But the blasts
do very little, and the Imperials return fire from the powerful
turbolaser cannons mounted on the AT-AT's "heads". One of them gets in
a lucky shot, and a speeder is blown out of the air in a whirling blur
of shrapnel and energy. In the rebel command centre, Nodoka is watching
a tactical holo of the Imperial fleet.)
Gosunkugi: First transport ready to launch. Thought it shouldn't bother,
because it doesn't have a...
Nodoka: Shut up! Akane, tell ion control to target sector 11, 3, beta
quadrant. Full burst in a cone pattern.
Akane(not very enthusiastic): Hai.
Ukyou: Nodoka! The second Imperial fleet is attacking the first!
Nodoka: Nani?!?
(Cut scenes to space, where sure enough we see a hodge-podge fleet
with the Black Rose in the lead pounding the rear of Saotome's forces.
The first flotilla is turning and bringing its own weapons to bear.
On the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer, Saotome is watching in shock.)
Saotome: {Where did _she_ come from?}
Harkov: Her spies must have informed her about our operation. She's
going to try to wipe us and the rebels out in one movement.
Saotome: {Over my dead body!} (clears screen) {Move 90% of our forces
to engage the enemy. And take the Executor so I can deal with the
Black Rose myself!} [This is just the chance I was waiting for.]
(In the rebel command centre, Nodoka has gotten over her shock.)
Nodoka: I don't know what's going on, but never look a gift horse
in the mouth. Ion control fire!
Akane: Hai!
(An exterior view shows a group of heavy ion cannons-which look
amazingly like observatories-begin to fire rapid-succession bursts
of energy. Up in space, the effect is clear as a swarm of blasts
pound into a Star Destroyer and its nearby escorts of frigates and
dreadnoughts. As they begin to free-fall away, an egg-shaped
transport and its escort of X-wings fly through the temporary gap.)
Ukyou: Transport away!
(Resounding cheer.)
Nodoka: (simply nods) One down, nine to go.
(Meanwhile, back in Mikado's AT-AT...)
Mikado: One down, nine to go. Bring us about to a forty-five degree
northwest heading and fire at will.)
Aide: Hai.
(Outside, we see the speeders doing their best to take down the AT-AT's,
with limited success. Ranma's speeder-recognizable by its blue
colouring-swings in towards an AT-ST with his wingman. In a flurry of
expert flying, he and his wingman-Wedge-manage to pour enough firepower
into it that as they fly past, the "head" explodes in a shower of flame
and sparks.)
Wedge: Scratch one AT-ST.
Ranma: We still have to worry about those AT-AT's, though. Here, cover
my tail while I try something.
Wedge: Roger.
(The two speeders fly at the nearest AT-AT. They avoid the massive
turbolaser volleys, most of which come Wedge's way as he pours a nearly
continuous stream of fire into the walker. Wedge pulls away just as
Ranma begins to swing around the walker in a tight circle. As he
finishes his first circuit, Ranma pulls back a lever on his dashboard.)
Ranma: HIRYU SHOTEN HA BOOSTERS!
(Ranma's speeder begins to spin around the AT-AT in faster and faster
circles. Soon his ship is no more than a blur of motion. Abruptly a
funnel of air begins to form, growing larger, faster and more powerful
by the second. Soon it's a towering whirlwind which lifts the AT-AT
with ease and flings it into the air like a rag doll. The war machine
crashes several miles distant and explodes in a huge fireball of energy
and flying shrapnel. Ranma's speeder shoots out of the whirlwind as it
shrinks behind him. In his cockpit, Mikado is shocked.)
Mikado: What the hell _was_ that?
Aide: I...don't know. A new rebel superweapon like that ion burst on
the Hibiki Falcon?
Mikado: Hai. Tell all AT-AT's to bring down that speeder!
(Outside, Ranma and Wedge are now dodging _massive_ volumes of turbolaser
fire.)
Wedge: At this rate, we'll never get close enough for you to pull that
trick again.
Ranma: (grins) That's okay, I couldn't do it again anyway. The booster's
burnt out. (to his radio) All Ice units, perform operation "Tripwire".
(While the AT-AT's try in vain to pound Ranma and Wedge out of the air by
sheer amount of firepower, none of them notice the other speeders pull in
behind them and fly past. As each performs the fly-by, they launch a
tow-cable. The cables latch on, and the speeders do a couple of quick
circles around the walkers' legs. With a jerk, they each detach their
cables and pull away. The walkers find themselves unable to continue
forward and also unable to halt their forward momentum, so they do the
only thing available to them. In rapid succession, seven walkers fall
to the ground and explode.)
Wedge: Slick, Ranma. Very slick.
Ranma: (grinning like a loon) I thought so.
Mikado(furious): They destroyed _half_ my AT-AT's! They will pay!
(calms himself) No...my best revenge will be to destroy that shield
generator. Double speed.
(Back in the command centre, Nodoka looks worried.)
Ukyou: Fourth transport away!
Nodoka: (shakes head) At this rate, we'll never get them all out before
those walkers reach the shield generators.
Akane: I could set the ion cannons for a wider spread. It would give us
more openings.
Gosunkugi: And more chance of them having an operating ship in our corridor.
No, we can't do that. It would never work.
Nodoka: Be quiet. We'll have to try it.
(Out in space, we see the two Imperial fleets locked in combat. Darth
Saotome's Executor bludgeons its way through this like a mad bear. Its
hundreds of turbolaser turrets pound into two dreadnoughts and blast them
into pieces in seconds. On the bridge, we see a determined-looking Saotome.)
Harkov: Another transport got away.
Saotome: {Ignore them. Where is the Black Rose?}
Harkov: Still evading us. We're too large and slow to catch it, sir.
Saotome: (growl/sighs) {Fine. Let's return to Hoth. Prepare our dropships,
those shields will be down soon.}
Harkov: Hai.
(Meanwhile, near the planet another volley of blue ion cannon fire bursts
into space. This time, however, it clears two areas. But it is no less
effective as the two transports streak into space. Then, due to a massive
amount of bad luck, one of the transports finds himself on a cross-vector
with the Executor. With an almost contemptuous volley of fire, the Super
Star Destroyer blasts it to atoms. In the command centre, Nodoka watches
her holo in chagrin.)
Ukyou: Number six transport away, but number five was intercepted by an
incoming...Super Star Destroyer.
Nodoka: (nods) It's Saotome. He's the one in charge of that ship.
Gosunkugi: Imperial AT-AT's coming within firing range of our generators.
We can't possibly stop them in time.
Ryouga(growls): Shut up or I'll shut you up!
(Outside, Ranma and Wedge are flying desperately towards one AT-AT that
has separated itself from the others.)
Ranma: C'mon, pour on the speed!
Wedge: Too late...
(In his cockpit, Mikado watches a computer image of the connected-disk
shield generators. He smirks as the image flashes red.)
Mikado: Now I have you...FIRE!
(The turbolasers of the AT-AT's head blast out and score direct hits on
the generators. In a flash of fire and sparks, the Hoth shield drops.)
Ranma: Damn. C'mon Wedge, let's get him...(blinks) It's HIM!
Wedge: Who?
Ranma(doom): Him. Cover me...
(His speeder takes the lead. In the cockpit, Mikado is gloating.)
Mikado: Hah! That will teach those puny rebels to defy Mikado Sanzenin!
Aide: Two speeders coming in fast from behind.
Mikado(sneers): Activate our...surprise and switch control over to me.
Hah! Only _fools_ take on my personal AT-AT! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Behind the AT-AT, Ranma and Wedge are pouring almost continual streams
of fire into the walker. Suddenly, and without warning, a hatch on the
top of the walker is blown up and a swivelling turbolaser turret pops
up. Caught by surprise, Ranma is unable to evade as the weapon spins
and launches a deadly green bolt-which, thanks to hasty firing, only
skims Ranma's engines.)
Ranma: I'm hit! I'm going down!
(Sure enough, his speeder is bee-lining for the ground. With a cry, he
snaps on his lightsabre and cuts off the canopy. Then he leaps from the
cockpit and flies up in a wide arc that ends with him clinging
precariously to the leg of the walker. Below, his speeder blasts into
shrapnel as it crashes. With a grunt, he begins to climb the leg, his
expression determined. Back in the rebel command centre, all hell has
just broken loose.)
Gosunkugi: The shield is down. Executor moving into bombardment
position...
Akane: (tapping buttons frantically) Moving ion cannons into firing
position...
(Suddenly, the base rocks.)
Gosunkugi: Ion cannons struck by turbolaser bombardment. Only one
still operating.
(Mousse charges into the room.)
Mousse: Princess! (he grabs a tech) Come along, princess, we must get
you to your ship!
Tech: I'm not the princess.
Mousse: You're not the princess!
Tech: How wonderful for you to have noticed.
Akane: I'm over here, Mousse, but I can't leave.
Nodoka(firmly): Yes you can. Get to your transport and get out of here.
I won't be far behind. Ukyou, go with her.
(Both girls look at her pleadingly, but after a moment of watching her
impassive face, they bow their heads in surrender. Ryouga leaps to his
feet.)
Ryouga: I'll make sure the princess arrives safely!
Nodoka: (smiles to herself) Hai. Hurry.
(They leave. Almost as soon as the door closes, a voice crackles over
the comm.)
Wedge: this is Ice-3 to Echo base, come in.
Nodoka: This is Echo base. Go ahead, Wedge.
Wedge: Ice leader's down. I couldn't tell if he ejected or not.
(Nodoka grimaces for a second, then resumes her usual calm.)
Nodoka: Understood. You're now Ice leader. Pull your squadron back
to base and board the next available transport.
Wedge: Roger. (cuts off)
Gosunkugi: Imperial dropships coming in.
Nodoka: That's it, then, sound general evacuation. Let's go.
(She gets up and walks out. Cut to the halls of the rebel base. Ryouga
is leading Ukyou, Akane, and Mousse. As they turn a corner, the alarm
klaxons change in pitch.
Mousse: They've entered the base.
Ukyou: And we're still not at the transport.
Ryouga(defensively): We're almost there...
Ukyou: Admit it, you're lost!
Ryouga: I am not. (they turn another corner, and the sound of drives
activating is clearly audible) See, there's the...(turns final corner)...
Falcon?
(Yes, they have come out into the hangar which the Falcon occupies.
Tarou looks over with mild annoyance.)
Tarou: What took you so long?
Ukyou: We followed him. (points at Ryouga)
Tarou: (nods) Ah, I see.
Ryouga: Well, as long as we're here...(activates his com-link) This is
Ryouga Solo to Transport eight. Go ahead, I'll get the princess out on
the Falcon.
Voice(over com-link): Yes, sir.
Ryouga: Okay, let's go.
(They climb aboard. Out in the former combat field, Mikado's AT-AT
stalks toward the rebel base, turbolaser turrets blasting into the
retreating rebels with reckless abandon. Underneath, Ranma has reached
a hatch. With a flick of his lightsabre, he cuts it open and flips
inside. He lands in a defensive position to see...nothing. He blinks,
then shrugs and heads toward the front of the walker. As he walks by
an access hatch, he cuts it open with his lightsabre and tosses a small
sphere inside. In his cockpit, Mikado is unaware of this as he watches
the rebels flee.)
Mikado: Heh. Look at them! Is this the much vaunted _bravery_ of the
Rebellion? I'm surprised that they even survived this long!
Aide: (chuckles) Perhaps they survived because they're always running.
Mikado: Hah! Indee...(the door behind them is slashed down the middle
and falls in two pieces; Mikado whirls) Who dares!?
(Ranma swings his lightsabre down, barely touching Mikado's neck.)
Ranma: I do.
Mikado(recognition dawns on his face): You! But I thought...
Ranma: That I died in the storm? Not likely, pal.
Mikado: What do you want?
Ranma: Revenge...for what you did to me.
Mikado: Trying to kill you?
Ranma: No. Before that.
Mikado(sneers): I've never seen you before that.
Ranma: Yes you have.
(There is a soft explosion from farther back in the AT-AT.)
Mikado: What was that?
Ranma: My revenge.
(He leaps out the viewport. Mikado stares after him.)
Mikado: What the...
(Suddenly, there are a series of explosions behind them, each faster
and louder than the last.)
Mikado: That's a turbolaser overload!
Aide: How'd he know how to...
(Outside, Ranma pinwheels through the air, then slams into a snowbank
and disappears. When he emerges, he...is a she who watches with a
malicious grin as a series of explosions rock the super AT-AT. Then
her eyes widen, and she shakes her head as if trying to clear it as
the entire machine becomes a fireball...except for the head, which
is launched like a cannonball across the snowfield. Ranma-chan
shakes her head again, then shrugs and starts towards the base. On
the Executor bridge, Saotome and Harkov are intently studying a
tactical holo.)
Harkov(disappointed): Our current position will not allow us to
accomplish both of your goals.
Saotome: (growl/sighs) {Then we must sacrifice the less urgent one.
Pull our forces out.}
Harkov: Hai.
(On the bridge of the Black Rose, Kodachi watches one of the screens
with an arrogant sneer. General Sasuke stands nearby.)
Sasuke: (frowns) The opposing fleet is pulling out.
Kodachi: (temples her fingers) Yeeeeessss. Ohohohohohohohoho!
Allow the fool to escape! We shall deal with him at our leisure!
Ohohohohohohohoho!
Sasuke: Hai.
(On the planet, we see Ranma running up to one of the transports
and boarding it. He rushes up to a comm-station and activates it.)
Ranma: This is Skywalker reporting in, let's get this bucket of bolts
moving!
(Nodoka's face appears on the screen.)
Nodoka(surprised and relieved): Ranma, I thought I had lost you!
Ranma: Ha! It'll take more than an AT-AT to take down Ranma Skywalker!
Nodoka: I take it, then, that the Super AT-AT was your doing?
Ranma: Hai. Where's Akane and Ucchan?
Nodoka: Ryouga's getting them out on the Falcon.
Ranma: Nani? You're trusting _him_ with Akane?!?
Nodoka: We didn't have much choice. And yes, it's too late for you to
go after them, so strap in for the trip. Saotome's on the planet, so
we can't delay.
Ranma: How do you know?
Nodoka: I felt him use the Force not too long ago.
Ranma: (frowns) Okay...I'll come with you.
Nodoka: (laughs) It's not like you had a choice.
(In space, the two fleets have disengaged and are retreating. Soon,
they begin to hyperjump away. After several minutes, only six ships
remain. Two Victory-class Star Destroyers are escorting the sword-
shaped Blue Thunder and its companion dreadnoughts. Nearby, the
Black Rose hovers. On the bridge of the Blue Thunder, we see Kunou
in all his arrogant glory. Kodachi is on the viewscreen.)
Kunou: Farewell, my sister. You can rest assured that those most
foul rebels do not escape yonder ice-bound sphere whilst I, the
lord warrior of the Force, doth stand in vigil!
Kodachi: Just try to take out as many of those transports as
possible. I'd do it myself, but I can't allow Saotome _too_
much freedom.
(She cuts off.)
Tech: The Black Rose has entered hyperspace.
Kunou: Excellent. Report upon the rebel's activities upon yonder
planet.
Tech: Three transports and one unidentified freighter-class ship
coming up from the surface. I assume we move to intercept the
transports?
Kunou: (distant look) Akane... (shakes head) No, we move for the
freighter.
(Cut to the cockpit of the Hibiki Falcon. Inside, we see Ryouga
and Tarou sitting in the pilot's and co-pilot's seats, respectively.
Behind them stand Akane and Ukyou, who ar
Akane: Ryouga! You're moving away from them; adjust your course!
Ryouga: I _want_ to move away from them. We're so small compared to
them that the Imperials will ignore us.
Tarou: I hate to say this, but it looks like they're _not_ ignoring
us.
Akane: They're on an intercept course!
Ryouga: (frowns) Then we'll just have to run interference for the
transports.
Ukyou: What?
(An exterior view shows the Falcon swinging towards the Blue Thunder
and its support craft. TIE fighters attack the ship, but are blown
apart by the Falcon's turrets. On the Blue Thunder, Kunou is strangely
calm.)
Kunou: I want that ship and it's occupants in one piece. (reveries)
Oh the beauteous Akane, princess of the fates and lady of my heart.
Though the foul sorceries of the Dark Side have long conspired to
keep us apart, I know now that fate has finally set its hand in
motion and we shall be forever one!
Tech: the transports have entered hyperspace.
Kunou: Then bring me my prize!
(Outside, the Falcon is easily dodging the various fighter craft, but
the capital ships are closing in with their powerful ion cannon shots.
In the cockpit, Ryouga is chuckling evilly.)
Akane: What's so funny?
Ryouga: Nothing. Just get ready to blast our way through our old friend
Kunou.
Tarou: Ryouga...
Ryouga: I could really get to enjoy blowing the Blue Thunder to bits.
(The ship aligns itself with the Blue Thunder.)
Tarou: Solo-kun...
Ryouga: (grabs a familiar joystick) Now, Kunou, let's see you handle
_this_!
Tarou(urgently): SOLO...
Ryouga: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU CANNON!
(He jams his finger on the trigger and...there is a hiccuping sound,
followed by a shower of sparks from the console.)
Tarou: ...the bakusai ten ketsu's not working. And now, thanks to you,
(checks a readout; sighs) neither is the hyperdrive.
Akane: I think we're in trouble...
Ryouga: (swallows hard) Akane, Ukyou, get back there and help Mousse with
those quad turrets. I'll make for some open space where we can manoeuvre.
(Inside the Blue Thunder, the tech is looking slightly excited, if worried.)
Tech: Sir, the computer confirms that that freighter is the Hibiki Falcon...
Kunou: Of course.
Tech: ...but it's had ample time and opportunity to use that ion cannon of
its, and...it hasn't.
Kunou: (smiles) The ways of the Force are subtle and many, but that does
not exclude it from taking more direct action when the time comes for
destiny to flow its natural course!
(The Falcon weaves and dodges past the fighters and ion cannons, and
somehow manages to make it to the other side of them. In the cockpit,
Ryouga and Tarou are frantically steering the ship.)
Tarou: Keep alert, Solo-kun. There's an asteroid field off to our right.
Ryouga: Hai. (pulls forcibly on a stick)
Tarou(shocked): Ryouga! What are you doing?!?
Ryouga: taking us away from the asteroid field.
(There is a bang, and the ship rocks slightly.)
Tarou: No you're not. You're heading _into_ it.
Ryouga: Uh oh... (the viewscreen is now showing the large asteroid field;
over a comm-link) Brace yourselves! We're going in!
(The Falcon weaves its way into the field, a squad of TIE's in pursuit.
It pulls sharply around a large asteroid. The TIE's follow, but one
isn't quite fast enough and goes up in a fireball.)
Akane(over a speaker in the cockpit): Ryouga, what are you doing?
Ryouga: If we want to escape the Imperials, we're going to have to do
the unexpected, so...
Akane: I just hope you know what you're doing. (cuts off)
Tarou: Solo-kun, you lied. You never planned on going in here.
Ryouga: I never said I did. Besides, if _I_ didn't expect I'd be going
in here, than the Imperials certainly didn't.
(The Falcon shoots between two asteroids, which collide behind it,
crushing a hapless TIE. The remaining four pursuers fly through the
resultant rubble. The Falcon suddenly veers to the side as it avoids
a medium-sized rock. A TIE that had come too close is unable to avoid
the rock completely and has one of its solar panels torn off. It spins
out in a flurry of sparks and collides with another TIE. Both explode.)
Ryouga: We'll never survive out here. We'll have to pull in close to
one of the big ones.
Tarou(apprehensive): _Do_ you know what you're doing?
Ryouga: Have I steered us wrong yet?...on second thought, don't answer that.
Tarou: I didn't intend to...it answers itself.
(Ryouga decides not to say anything as he steers the Falcon towards a
moonlet-sized asteroid. He pulls in tight to the surface. The remaining
two TIE's follow closely and begin to pelt the space around the Falcon
with green laser bolts. Ryouga counters with an abrupt swing to the
left that _almost_ throws off the TIE's.)
Ukyou(over the speaker): Ryouga! The cliff! THE CLIFF!
Ryouga: What...(looks out to see a tall cliff rising up not very far
away) ...oh, the _cliff_.
Tarou: THE CLIFF!
Everyone: THE CLIFF! THE CLIFF!
Ryouga: I can't pull out...(grimaces)
(The cliff rapidly approaches. As it gets closer, a tiny crack appears,
then quickly expands into a crevice.)
Ryouga: There's our chance!
Tarou: You can't possibly...Solo-kun, I know that grin.
Ryouga: (grinning) I'm sure you do.
(The Falcon streaks towards the crevice, turning on its side to fit.
It flies through unhindered, but the TIE's aren't so lucky. One over-
compensates a bit too much then begins to pinball around the crevice,
the second TIE has no choice but to pull up to avoid the careening
fighter. Unfortunately for it, it pulls straight into an outcrop and
bursts into a fireball. The Falcon comes out of the other side of the
crevice without so much as a scratch. It flies around the walls of
the crater that it now finds itself in. The crater has a large,
gaping cave just slightly off the centre. Ryouga smiles as he spots
it.)
Ryouga: That'll do nicely...
Tarou: You're not doing what I think you're doing. Remember the last
time you hid in a cave?
Ryouga: How many times can that happen?
(He pulls the ship up in a loop and flies it into the gaping cavern.
Brief cut to the surface of Hoth. Near a disembodied AT-AT head, we
see a figure in cold-survival gear fiddling with a portable
transmitter. He looks up for a moment, and we see that it is Mikado.)
Mikado: [Damn, where are they?] (plays with the machine again)
[Great, they must have left me here.] (looks around) [Things can't
get much worse...]
Voice(from behind him): Oooooohhh, that transmitter is so kawaii!
(Azusa runs up to him and grabs the piece of equipment) Pierre-
Marquis! Come to Azusa, Pierre-Marquis!
Mikado: (fear) No... (desperation) No! (throws head back;
complete anguish) NOOOOOOOO!!!
(Cut to a scene of three transports exiting hyperspace. They
emerge near the edge of a fleet of starships. On the bridge of
the last transport, Nodoka, Ranma, and Soun are all sitting around
a holo-map of the system.)
Tech: We've arrived at the fleet.
Ranma: Any word from the Hibiki Falcon?
Tech: No sir. All ships report no contact with the Falcon.
Ranma: The Falcon's faster than these transports. It should've
arrived...(thinks for a moment) ...three hours ago. (angry) I
_knew_ you shouldn't have trusted Akane with that loser! He probably
jumped her straight to Coruscant!
Soun: Waaaah! My darling daughter is lost forever! And on the eve of
her marriage, too! So much like my darling Nabiki! Waaahhh! (starts
doing an impressive imitation of a water sprinkler)
Nodoka: (ignoring Soun) Don't worry, Ranma, she'll be fine. Akane can
take care of herself, and she has Tarou, Mousse and Ukyou to protect
her.
Ranma: Hmph! (crosses arms defiantly) I'd still like to know what
the Imperials know about them. If only we had access to their
codes...(eyes grow distant)
(Nodoka looks at ranma with a worried frown. Suddenly, he snaps
his fingers.)
Ranma: The probe!
Nodoka: Huh?
Ranma: Do we still have the Imperial probe from Hoth?
Nodoka: Yes...but we'll need our techs to go over it for at least a
day before...
Ranma: _I_ can crack that code in five minutes. Where is it? Never
mind, I'll ask a tech...(runs off)
Nodoka: Ranma! (sighs) What am I supposed to do with him...
(Switch to a cave, where the Hibiki Falcon rests on its landing
struts. Inside the cockpit, Tarou, Akane, and Ryouga are checking
readouts.)
Tarou: Well, the bakusai ten ketsu's fried.
Ryouga: Yeah, well maybe the hyperdrive can be fixed.
Mousse(over a speaker): ...is that darn intercom...
Akane: Mousse?
Mousse: Ah, princess. I thought I should tell you that I saw something
back here.
Akane: Where are you?
Mousse: Outside the ship.
Ryouga: Mousse, go back to adjusting that array. We'll check it out.
Mousse: Hai. (cuts off)
Akane: (after a moment) Aren't you going to go see?
Ryouga: (chuckles) Check out what he saw? He can't see his hand in
front of his face, much less anything we'd have to worry about.
(turns to Tarou) I'm going to go see what condition the hyperdrive's
in. You stay here and monitor those bomber flights.
Tarou: Sure.
(Ryouga leaves.)
Akane: Tarou?
Tarou: Hai?
Akane: I was wondering...
Tarou: About what?
Akane: Why are you so loyal to him?
Tarou: Who?
Akane: Ryouga. Why are you so loyal to him?
Tarou: (distant look) He's the only one who can live with my shame.
Akane: Shame?
Tarou: (sob) Yes, my secret shame that forced me to leave my people...
(choke, sob)
Akane(sympathetically): The curse?
Tarou: No, the curse is okay...(sob, choke, sob) It's...it's...NO(sob),
I cannot say! It would drive you away from me...(tear breakdown) Only
Solo-kun understands...
Akane: It can't be that bad...
Tarou(recovering somewhat): Please, I do not wish to speak of it.
Akane: Okay...
Ryouga(over the intercom): Tarou, could you come back here?
Tarou: Hai, Solo-kun. (he leaves; Akane looks thoughtful)
(Cut to the bridge of the Blue Thunder. Kunou strides down the
catwalk towards a group of bounty hunters. There are eight, all
told, including a reptilian creature, an insectoid, an avian, Mian
Toris and a beautiful girl in a tight-fitting set of armour.
She has long purple hair, and a somewhat arrogant expression.)
Kunou: Know all ye servants of the green god that the rewards for
retrieval of those who cower upon yonder space-borne rock garden
whilst forcing my love to be unable to yield herself to me will be
plentiful and most abundant for those who accomplish the stated
task.
Purple-hair: What he say?
Tech: Any of you that bring back the rebels in the asteroid field
will be paid highly.
Purple-hair: Is true you say Ryo-lonely on ship?
Tech: Huh?
Purple-hair: Ryo-lonely. Bout tall this (places her hand near her
eyes), carry Brella, lost lot.
Kunou: I do believe that yon mauve-topped huntress doth allude to
that rebellious hider of cargos, our old adversary, Ryouga Solo.
Purple-hair: Nani?
Tech: Do you mean the smuggler Ryouga Solo?
Purple-Hair: Hai, Ryo-lonely.
Tech: Yes, he is.
Purple-hair: Then Shampoo Fett will find him. Get big money from the
Hut for Ryo-lonely.
Kunou: Care I what you do with those others among that sortied party
of ravening dogs? Nay. But know this: whoever among you may be
called responsible for the loss of my princess shall be summarily
susceptible to the wrath of a Jedi!
(He waves his lightsabre around. Shampoo looks at the tech with an
upraised eyebrow.)
Tech: Do whatever you want with the others, but the princess is to
be taken alive.
Shampoo: Ahh...
(Switch scenes, this time to a tech lab. The probe is lying on a
table. Hundreds of wires and tubes are attached to its innards and
stretch to various monitors around the room. At one of these
monitors sits Ranma. He is busily tapping buttons, seemingly at
random. Abruptly the screen changes from unyielding static to a
block of text.)
Text: Access granted. Enter command.
Ranma(smiles; types command): Call up command menu.
Menu: 1. Starmaps
2. Command codes
3. Information
4. Encryption codes
(Ranma's finger hovers over the "4" key for a moment, then he gets
a distant look on his face and, zombie-like, his hand drifts over
to the "1" key and presses it. Instantly the screen is filled by
a starmap. He shakes his head and looks at the screen in
bewilderment.)
Ranma: Huh? Why in...(notices something in the corner of the
screen) What the...?
(He punches a few buttons and the corner magnifies. He magnifies
sections of the screen three more times, until only a single
planet is displayed on the screen. Under the slowly revolving
blue and grey sphere is a name, a name which causes Ranma's mouth
to drop.)
Ranma: Oh my lord...Jyusenkyou. I can't believe it. This is my
chance to finally be rid of this curse. I've got to tell...
(frowns) No, I can't tell mom...
(The scene switches to a little later, in a hangar. Inside are
a bunch of X-wing fighters. Ranma-in his flight suit-runs in a
jumps aboard one. The flight officer runs over.)
Officer: What are you doing, sir?
Ranma: Special assignment...sector 52...Dark Jedi uprising...
people turning into kumquats...you get the idea.
Officer: Uh... (the canopy closes and the X-wing practically
leaps from the hangar)...okay...
(The camera follows Ranma. He pulls some quick manoeuvres and
is beginning to pull away from the fleet when Nodoka's voice
bursts over the comm.)
Nodoka(angry): Ranma! Where do you think you're going?
Ranma: I have to do some stuff. I'll see you later.
Nodoka: What?! Come back here, young man!
Ranma: Sorry mom, this is something I have to do. You'd only hold
me back.
(He punches a button and the X-wing leaps into hyperspace with a
flash. On the bridge, Nodoka is _mad_. With a shudder, she
calms down.)
Tech: Extrapolating on his hyperspace vector...
Nodoka: Don't bother. He'll change it at least once before he
settles on his actual destination. (sighs) No, we'd best just
trust the Force in this.
(Cut back to the asteroid field. TIE bombers are blasting the
asteroids with proton torpedoes, but are having no success in
flushing out the Falcon. On his bridge, Kunou is ranting at
Shampoo.)
Kunou: Why art thou not out searching for my one true love?
Shampoo(exasperated): Shampoo say already, Kunou-Jedi, she have
plan but it not ready yet.
Kunou: I don't care about your plan! I want Akane now! (jumps
up and down) NOW! NOW! NOW! (points at her) Now you _will_ obey
my orders!
Shampoo: [Him nuts.] Hai, right away...
(She stalks off. Kunou whirls to face the crew, who are staring
at him.)
Kunou: What?
(Back in the Hibiki Falcon, we see Tarou's legs sticking out of
a service duct. Ryouga is fiddling with an exposed panel near-by.)
Tarou: Try it now.
Ryouga: Hai. (pulls a lever)
Tarou: (as sparks leap from the duct) YAAA! Turn it off! Turn it
OFF!
(Ryouga quickly pushes the lever up.)
Ryouga: Sorry. Are you okay?
Tarou: Fine, just singed.
(They are both distracted by a beeping sound. Ryouga grabs a com-
link and activates it.)
Ryouga: What?
Mousse(over com-link): It's me.
Ryouga: What do you want?
Mousse: You know how I told you earlier how there's something out
there?
Ryouga: Hai.
Mousse: Well, it can be confirmed that there _is_ something out here.
Ryouga: How can you be sure?
Mousse: Because it's chewing on my arm.
Ryouga: (long pause) We'll be right out.
Mousse: No hurry. I'm just trying to be helpful.
(Outside the Falcon, we see a hatch lower. Tarou, Akane, and Ryouga
exit, all wearing environmental suits. Ryouga has his Brella on.
They walk around the ship and come upon Mousse, who is standing with
a long spear coming out of his sleeve and pinning a bat-like creature
with a sucker for a mouth to the ground.)
Mousse: Hello, so good to see you. Greetings, princess.
Akane: Mousse, call me...never mind. What's that?
Tarou(hisses): Mynoc.
Ryouga: Great, that's all we need. (via com-link) Ukyou, prep the
Falcon for launch.
Ukyou(over the com-link): Hai. Why are we leaving?
Ryouga: Mynocs.
Ukyou: What's that?
Ryouga: I'll explain later. (shuts it off) Come on, we'd better check
to see there aren't any on the ship. The last thing we need is one of
them chewing on the main drive controls.
(They begin to circle the ship. As they round a section, they spot a
mynoc on the engine. Ryouga bats it off. Suddenly, one flies in from
behind. Ryouga spins and uses his bandanna-blaster to blow it out of
the sky. Two more fly above and Mousse lets loose with his duck-
grenade launcher. He launches three egg-bombs, two of which hit, the
third exploding on the ceiling. Its explosion is accompanied by a
significant rocking of the cave which throws everybody off-balance.)
Mousse: What happened?
Ryouga: (frowns) I'm not sure.
(He points his bandanna-blaster at the ground and fires. The cave
shakes again, more violently this time. Ryouga and Tarou exchange
glances.)
Ryouga and Tarou: Uh oh...
Ryouga: Into the Falcon! NOW!
Akane: What...never mind.
(They rush into the ship and to the cockpit. Ryouga and Tarou take
their positions and begin to pull the already-prepped Falcon up.)
Ukyou: What's going on?
Ryouga: No time.
(The Falcon begins to fly up the cave. The opening is slowly
closing, around the same place as two peculiarly even rows of
stalagmites.)
Akane: The cave's COLLAPSING!
Tarou: This isn't a cave.
Ukyou: It's too tight! We'll never make it!
Tarou: We'll see about that!
(He punches some buttons on the console. The Falcon suddenly
launches a blue photon torpedo which flies forward and blasts one
of the stalagmites to pieces. They dart through the gap and pull
away from the hole as a giant, snake-like creature rears out of
it. However, instead of snapping at the ship, it turns away,
making mewling noises. The Falcon pulls out of the asteroid field
and immediately finds itself swarmed by the Imperial ships. Cut
to the Blue Thunder's bridge...)
Tech: Lord Kunou! The Hibiki Falcon has exited the asteroid field!
Kunou: Bring them DOWN!
(The Falcon is now dodging ion fire from both the enemy capitals
and the Gunboats that are chasing it. In the cockpit, Ryouga and
Tarou are alone-Akane, Ukyou, and Mousse having gone back to man
the quads.)
Ryouga: (grimaces) We'll never make it...
Tarou: The tower!
Ryouga: Huh? Could you elaborate?
Tarou: (smiles) Listen, Solo-kun. I have a plan...
(Outside, the Falcon makes an abrupt change in direction,
temporarily throwing off the eight gunboats on its tail. The three
gunners take advantage of this and unleash a stream of fire at the
confused Imperials. Only two fighters survive the barrage, and
one of those is streaming sparks and fuel. The Falcon is now
bearing down on one of the Victory-class Star Destroyers. On the
bridge of the Star Destroyer, the captain looks shocked.)
Captain: Is he _insane_?
Officer: Probably, Captain Sentarou. Did you hear what that ship
tried to do at the Battle of Dojo?
Sentarou: No...and I don't want to. Full power to the bridge
shields!
(The Falcon grows bigger on the main screen until it blots out
almost everything. Sentarou flinches back as the Falcon pulls
up at the last second and...)
Tech: It's gone!
Sentarou(relieved/surprised): What?
Tech: The Falcon, sir. It just...disappeared.
Sentarou(fearful): What? Are you sure it didn't crash? Or enter
hyperspace?
Tech: I...don't know. It just vanished off our sensors.
Sentarou: Very well, then. (swallows hard) I'll explain to Lord
Kunou how I lost the Falcon, and...apologise.
(Cut to later. On the Blue Thunder, Captain Sentarou slowly
crumples to the floor. Kunou shuts down his lightsabre just as
the unlucky ex-captain comes to a rest. He whirls.)
Kunou: Apology accepted... (to the crew) Extrapolate on the Falcon's
last known vector and plot all possible hyperspace courses. Then
break up the fleet. I want that ship found!
(Out of earshot, two techs glance at each other.)
Tech#1: Why isn't he using that awful poetry of his?
Tech#2: (shrugs) Who knows? Probably too excited to think of any.
(Cut to the outside of the Victory Star Destroyer, where we see the
Hibiki Falcon on the back of its conning tower. Inside the cockpit,
we see Ryouga, Tarou, and Akane watching the fleet at an odd angle.)
Akane: Brilliant, Tarou, absolutely brilliant! (pats him on the
back)
Tarou: I can't take _all_ the credit. Without Solo-kun's flying,
we never could have pulled it off.
Akane: Good job, Ryouga-kun! (she throws her arms around him)
Ryouga: (eyes going goofy in ecstasy) A-arigato...Akane-chan...
(sighs and faints)
Akane(startled): What happened to him? (worried look)
Tarou: (looks at her and shakes head) Nothing. (snaps his fingers)
Wake up, Solo-kun. Wake up!
Ryouga: (shakes himself awake) Wha? Huh?
Tarou: The fleet's breaking up.
(He points outside, and we see that the fleet is indeed doing just
that.)
Ryouga: Hai. Prepare to disengage mooring clamps.
(Akane cocks an eyebrow.)
Tarou: The Imperials always dump their junk right before hyperspace
flights.
Akane: So we just float away with the garbage?
Ryouga: Hai.
Tarou: (smiles sardonically; to himself) How appropriate...
(The Star Destroyer indeed lets out its garbage, and with a lurch,
the Hibiki Falcon begins to float away with it. Presently, the
Imperial fleet flashes away in bursts of pseudo-motion. Inside the
cockpit, Ryouga is studying a screen.)
Ryouga(musing to himself): Our hyperdrive's still shot so we'll need
to find somewhere to...what's this? Tsubasa...hmm...
Akane: Tsubasa?
Tarou: Tsubasa Calrissian, she's an old acquaintance of ours.
Ryouga: Hai, and it looks like she has something on Bespin. I think
it's about time that we paid her a visit.
Tarou: (straight face) You're tired, Solo-kun. Why don't you go get
some rest while I steer the ship?
Ryouga: (yawns) Good idea. I think I'll do just that.
(Tarou sighs in relief. Outside, the Falcon suddenly activates its
thrusters and flies away from the space junk. Unnoticed by it,
however, a large spherical piece of apparent garbage with a long,
handle-like protrusion begins to move away from the junk after it.
Cut to another sector of the galaxy. Around a tiny red sun orbits
a single planet. The planet is almost uniformly dark green, but
is dotted with millions of tiny blue dots, which give the planet
the appearance of having the pox. Abruptly, an X-wing emerges
from hyperspace and hovers above the planet. In the cockpit,
Ranma gazes down at it with an eager expression.)
Ranma: [So this is Jyusenkyo? Not very impressive.] (looks at some
instruments) [I guess I can set down anywhere.]
(He flies the X-wing into the atmosphere. Almost immediately, the
sky is filled with dark clouds and high winds. Ranma grimaces as
his fighter is rocked about.)
Ranma: [Where did that storm come from?] (looks down at the
instrument panel; blinks) [The instruments are going crazy!]
(We'll have to take his word for that. However, the X-wing is now
shuddering and shaking as it plummets through the atmosphere. Ranma
struggles vainly for control. Suddenly a tree limb whips by the
canopy, followed quickly by several others. There is a splash and
the ship comes to an abrupt halt, with the exception of Ranma, who
bangs his forehead off the console, and is saved from unconscious-
ness only by his flight helmet.)
Ranma: [So that's what we wear these things for...] (looks around)
Great, what else could go wrong. (*crack*boom*ominous roll of
thunder*) I _hate_ that! (He pops the canopy and climbs out onto
the body of the X-wing. We see he is in the middle of a vast jungle/
swamp. The X-wing is partially submerged in an irregularly-shaped
pool of water that has bamboo shoots sticking out of it [which doesn't
really make sense, since this isn't Earth, but you'll just have to
live with it]. Ranma sighs and steps to the edge of the ship.)
Ranma: Better get to shore.
(He is preparing to make the plunge, when a voice distracts him.)
Voice: Were I you, would not. Hrmm.
(Ranma looks over to the shore, and sees a diminutive old woman with
green skin and long white hair balancing herself on a staff. He
goggles.)
Ranma: Wha...
Old hag: Unless crab wish you become, into water you not go. Hrmm.
Hrmm. *hack*cough*hack* Sorry, frog in my throat... *hack*cough* That's
better.
Ranma: Who are you? And what are you talking about?
Old hag: I am Cologne. And what I was talking about is the fact that
you were about to plunge into one of the cursed pools. Spring of
drowned crab, to be exact.
(With a look of horror, Ranma backs away from the edge of the X-wing.)
Ranma: YAAA! Wait a sec...how can a crab drown?
Cologne: If an octopus can manage it, so can a crab.
Ranma: Huh?
Cologne: Never mind, it was an in-joke.
(Ranma looks around, and notices that it is a long way to each shore.)
Ranma: Uhh...if I can't swim, how _am_ I supposed to get off?
Cologne: (eyes narrow) Use the Force, boy...
Ranma: Huh?
Cologne(irritated): The Force! You want to be a Jedi, right?
Ranma: Hai, but how did you know?
(Cologne waves her staff, dismissing the question.)
Cologne: If you want to be a Jedi, you must be able to use the Force.
Ranma: What do you mean? Mom never taught me anything about "using the
Force."
Cologne: (eyes widen in surprise) She isn't even teaching you how to
manipulate matter yet?!? That's the most simple, rudimentary Jedi
ability there is! And she _isn't_ teaching you it?!?
Ranma(defensively): Mom's been doing a good job...
Cologne: Your mother's an idiot, boy! She's too worried about you
converting to actually spend the time teaching you anything useful!
Ranma: I can use my lightsabre...
Cologne: Bah! Lightsabres! Useful in their own right, but they
should hardly be the focus of a Jedi's studies. (sighs) Very well.
If you can't use the Force to cross the river, I suggest you use those.
(She points at one of the bamboo shoots. Ranma easily leaps from
pole to pole and lands before Cologne. He is frowning.)
Ranma: Listen old troll, who are you to be insulting _my_ mother?
Cologne: I am the Jedi Master Cologne, and I have summoned you here to
teach you the ways of the Force.
Ranma: You? A Jedi MASTER?!? Yeah right, and I'm the Emperor!
Cologne: What does the Emperor have to do with it?
Ranma: It's just an expression...the point is, you're too old,
feeble, and short to be a Jedi Master.
(Cologne's eyes narrow in amusement, and she eagerly shifts her
weight on her staff.)
Cologne: Oh really...why don't you attack me, then? Prove how
superior you are to poor, feeble, doddering old me.
Ranma(hesitant): I don't want to hurt you...
Cologne: You? Hurt ME?!? That's rich, that's really rich!!!
(She rolls around on the ground, cackling with glee.)
Ranma: Hey! (activates his lightsabre) Fine! But remember, you
asked for this! KIYA!
(He swings his lightsabre around in a whistling arc that's sure
to decapitate the old crone. He never finishes it, however,
because in a flurry of movement, Cologne leaps to her feet and
pokes Ranma in the chest with her staff. With a cry, he
crumples up and falls to the ground.)
Cologne: Now, if you still don't believe I'm a Jedi Master,
please say so. (Ranma doesn't speak, he doesn't move, he-
apparently-doesn't breathe) Fine. Come, we shall start your
training at my home.
(Cologne gestures and the paralysed Ranma raises off the ground.
She bounces into the forest, with the floating Ranma right behind.
Cut to a planet on the other side of the galaxy. The clouds are
so thick that it is impossible to see the ground. Directly above
these clouds, the Hibiki Falcon is gliding along. On either side
of it are two ships, which look like connected pods. In the
Falcon's cockpit, Tarou appears to be doing some fast talking
while Ryouga steers the ship. Akane stands nearby.)
Tarou: No, I do _not_ have a landing permit. But if you'd just...
Pilot(via com-link): you'll have to turn back.
Tarou: We can't turn back, we're in serious need of repairs. If
you'd just tell Tsubasa Calrissian that Ryouga and Tarou are...
(Suddenly, the ship is rocked by laser fire.)
Mousse(via intercom): They're firing on us!
Tarou: What _would_ we do without you to tell us these things,
Mousse?
Mousse: Probably die. Do you want me to return fire?
Ryouga: Not until the last second...
Pilot: Wait...we've just confirmed your identity. Follow us in,
you're clear on pad sixteen.
Ryouga: (sighs) Finally.
Akane: I thought this Tsubasa was your friend.
Ryouga: She is, she's just...flighty.
Akane: Flighty?
Tarou: Tsubasa's always sort of...distracted. She doesn't treat
anything seriously, and is always playing games-especially games
involving disguises. On top of that, she's always mooning over
some guy.
Akane: Who?
Tarou: (shrugs) I don't know, never met him. His name starts
with a "U", though...Uch...Uck... Ukc...something like that.
Akane: Oh, okay.
(The Falcon flies around a large cloud, and we see a large city
suspended above the clouds by a large, inverted castle-like
hoverpod.)
Akane: What _is_ that?
Ryouga: Cloud City, I'd wager. Another one of Tsubasa's games.
(The ship settles down on a circular pad that is connected to the
city by a wide walk-way. The side of the pad is cluttered with
containers and crates. The ramp on the Falcon lowers and Ryouga,
Akane, mousse, and Tarou step out. Akane looks over at the
clutter and smiles sardonically.)
Akane: I guess she wasn't expecting you. She didn't have time to
clean up.
(Tarou grunts.)
Ryouga: Tsubasa's absentminded, she'll get around to seeing us
soon enough. (looks at the cargo) Might as well sit down and wait.
Akane: (shrugs) I can go for that.
(Akane walks over and sits on a crate. Ryouga and Tarou are
following when...)
Crate: Eee! Get off of me!
(Akane "gaahs" and leaps about eight feet in the air. She flips
in mid-jump and lands facing the crate with her lightmallet out.
Ryouga runs in front of her, Brella unfolded to shield her and
bandanna-blaster at the ready. Tarou pulls a small thermos
from his belt and unsnaps the lid. Suddenly, a cute brown-haired
girl in a frilly pink dress pops out of the crate.)
Girl: Surprise, Solo-kun!
(Tarou and Ryouga visibly relax and put away their "weapons."
Akane does not.)
Akane: You know this...this...
Tarou: Of course we do. This is Tsubasa.
(The girl waves at Akane and gives her cutsie eyes.)
Tsubasa: Hi! That's right, I'm Tsubasa Calrissian. And you are...
Akane: (mallet has mysteriously disappeared) Akane Tendo, pleased
to meet you.
(Tsubasa steps out of the crate, giving Akane a surprised look.)
Tsubasa: _Princess_ Akane? Of the Rebellion?
(Akane looks at Ryouga dubiously, who nods.)
Akane: Hai.
Tsubasa: Pleased to meet you. (bows respectfully; to Ryouga) It
appears you've fallen in with some bad company, Solo-kun. You
haven't gone respectful on me, have you?
Ryouga: (laughs) If you can call running around the universe,
avoiding Imperials, smuggling supplies and treason in general
respectful, then yes, I have.
(Tsubasa gives Akane a pitying look.)
Tsubasa: Is he _still_ making these occasional attempts at levity?
Akane: Not really. He spends most of his time...uh...trying to kill
someone.
Tsubasa: Oh?
Ryouga(snarls): I found the one responsible for...(looks at Akane)...
my problem.
Tsubasa: Ah, I see. (runs over and hugs Tarou) And what about you?
You still hanging around with that loser?
Tarou: (looks uncomfortable) Uh...yeah. Tsubasa, would you mind...
Tsubasa: You're still such a stuffshirt, I see. (steps away)
Tarou: It's just not proper.
(Tsubasa shakes her head and approaches Mousse. Akane gives
Ryouga a mystified look.)
Ryouga(low voice): She's teasing him. She thinks he's a prude. I
told you she was flighty.
Tsubasa: What a familiar droid...
Mousse: I doubt it. I'm a prototype NoC...
Tsubasa: Mousse! (excited) it's you, Mousse!
Everybody: How did you know?
Tsubasa: I bui...
(Just then, Ukyou walks out of the ship. She is frowning. Tsubasa
_stares_ at her.)
Ukyou(irritated): Well, I shut down the ship. You know, I'm a
companion droid, not an astromech...
(She is distracted as Tsubasa suddenly leaps at her with arms out-
stretched and hearts in her eyes.)
Tsubasa: UKYOU-SAMA!!!
Ukyou: YAA! We're under attack! (she quickly uppercuts Tsubasa with
her spatula) Defend yourself!
(Tsubasa flips end over end and slams into the ground several metres
away. She begins to rub her forehead, which has developed a sizable
lump. Ukyou swings her arm around and opens her spatula-shot.)
Tsubasa(pouting): You don't remember me, Ukyou-sama?
Ukyou: (stops as she was about to fire) Wha? No...I don't know you.
Mousse: What's going on here?
Tsubasa: I built you...both of you. (looks more closely at Ukyou)
But Ukyou-sama was a...boy when I built her.
Ukyou: I was altered by one of my owners...wait! You built me?
_You're_ the one who built me?!?
Akane: You built her?
Ryouga: You built her?
Tarou: And Mousse.
Mousse: You built me? (looking at Tarou) Why didn't you tell me?
Tarou: Not me, her.
Mousse: Her who?
Tarou: (points at Tsubasa) _Her_, her.
Mousse: That's a he, not a she.
Akane: You need to clean your optics, Mousse.
Ukyou(flabbergasted): She built me...
Mousse: I tell you that's a guy!
Ryouga(gently): Mousse...you're blind.
Akane: He saw those mynocs.
Tarou(ominously): Mousse, Tsubasa's my friend. Has been for
five years. Don't you think I can tell the difference between
guys and girls?
Mousse: Obviously not.
Tsubasa: (sniffs) Ukyou-sama, I can't believe you don't remember
me.
Akane: What's this "sama" business?
Tsubasa: Just what it means, she's my beloved Ukyou.
Akane(blinks; slowly): You love a _droid_?
Tarou(under breath): And I thought _Ukyou_ was weird.
Tsubasa: (shakes head) No. I don't love a droid, I love Ukyou.
Ryouga: But Ukyou...
Tsubasa: ...is human!
(Stunned silence. Everyone gapes at Tsubasa. Well, Mousse is
gaping at something on the wall-but who cares about him?)
Ukyou: YOU SAID WHAT?!?
Tsubasa: You're human-or at least you were.
(Ukyou runs down the ramp and lifts Tsubasa up by the front of
her dress.)
Ukyou: EXPLAIN!
Tsubasa: (blushes) Ukyou-sama, that tickles...
(Ukyou realizes where she's holding the girl and drops her.)
Ukyou: Now explain.
Tsubasa: You really don't remember? Any of it?
(Akane, Ryouga and Tarou are exchanging glances.)
Ukyou: No I don't. Now tell me.
Tsubasa: (sighs) It was a long time ago. Ukyou-sama and I
lived on Corelia. We were in love almost from the day we were
born. Up until our fifth year, anyway, when *sniff* our friend
Mousse...*choke*
Mousse: I'm human too?
(Ukyou slams Mousse into the Falcon with a backhand from her
spatula.)
Ukyou: SHUT UP MOUSSE!!! (to Tsubasa) Go on.
Tsubasa: Well *sniff* Mousse travelled a lot. And during his
travels, he picked up a case of *choke* Brinarian fever.
(everyone gasps) It was *sniff* still dormant when he trans-
mitted it to Ukyou-sama...
Tarou: Wait a minute. Brinarian fever _can_ be cured. It's
expensive, but...
Tsubasa: It couldn't be twelve years ago. *sniff* I was morti-
fied, but (perks up) I knew how to save her! She insisted I
save Mousse too. I built droid bodies for both of them, then
transferred their intelligence into them while I cryo-froze
the bodies.
Akane: (gasps) Is that possible?
Tarou: (pauses and frowns) Yeeessss, it _could_ be... I was
doing some research a while back, and discovered that somebody
_had_ done research into the transference of human personality
and memories into droid bodies. He came very close, but was
killed during the first stages of the Clone Wars. Nobody else
took up his work. His name was (stops; eyes widen) Drello
_Calrissian_!
Tsubasa: Hai, my grandfather.
(Ukyou has an awed expression on her face.)
Ukyou: So I really _am_ human! I really can be with Ranchan!
Tarou: I wouldn't get too excited. Your original body was male,
remember?
Ukyou: (shakes head) I _feel_ female...I wish I could remember
all this. (to Tsubasa) Why didn't I remain with you?
Tsubasa: Something went wrong during the transferral. You both
went berserk after it was finished and ran off. *sniff* I've
been looking for you ever since...
Akane: Wait, do you have the bodies here? In cryo-stasis?
Tsubasa: (nods) And cured.
Akane: Then you _could_ transfer them both back?
Tsubasa: Hai. I need time first, though.
Akane: Well, why don't you show us them?
(Cut back to Jyusenkyou. In a crude hovel, Cologne places Ranma
on the floor and pokes him with her staff. Instantly he leaps to
his feet, glaring at her with undisguised hatred.)
Cologne(irritably): Stop that.
Ranma: Stop what?
Cologne: Hating me.
Ranma: (blinks) Huh?
Cologne: Hating me. If you let your hatred control you, you
follow the path of the Dark Side.
Ranma(curiously): What _is_ this Dark Side everyone keeps
talking about?
Cologne: I see you've decided to accept that I'm a Jedi Master.
Ranma(mutters): You didn't give me much choice...
Cologne: (chooses to ignore that) To answer that question, I will
need to explain the nature of the Force. (she pauses as Ranma takes
a seat on a near-by hammock) The Force is more than just a tool.
It is a power, created by life. It surrounds us like a mist,
flowing through and binding us. The Force reflects life in it's
capability for compassion, healing and strength. But it can also
reflect hatred, intolerance and anger. This is the Dark Side. It
tempts young Jedi by offering the easy path. But once taken, it
will lead the Jedi deeper and deeper into enslavement, until finally
he is no longer his own being but merely a tool of the Dark Side.
Ranma: (after a moment) What's this got to do with me?
Cologne: Anger, hatred, fear, impatience, all these are tools of
the Dark Side. Allow yourself to be ruled by them, and you are
already in it's thrall. I don't intend to let that happen. I've
only lost _one_ student to the Dark Side, and I plan to keep that
record.
Ranma: Who was it? The person you lost to the Dark Side?
Cologne: (looks at Ranma with narrowed eyes) He is called Darth
Saotome, servant of the Emperor.
Ranma: (leans forward eagerly) I must ask you one more question
before we begin my training.
Cologne: I see you've decided to be reasonable. Very well, ask.
Ranma: My father came to Jyusenkyou...
Cologne: ...to train with me, hai. He had you with him.
Ranma: What happened to him? Mom told me that Saotome killed him.
Cologne: (hesitant) You _could_ say that...but it is not my place
to tell.
Ranma: I _have_ to know. (looks at her pleadingly)
Cologne: I can tell you this. One day the Emperor came here. He
trapped you and your father, there were some accidents at the pools,
and when it was over, Saotome and the Emperor left.
Ranma(growls): So he _did_ kill him!
(Cologne bops Ranma on the back of the head.)
Cologne: Stop that! No hating!
Ranma: Sorry, forgot.
Cologne: Don't do it again! Now come, we must start your training.
I hope you got some sleep on your way here, because it will be in
short supply for the next few days.
(Switch scenes, this time to a darkened room. Inside, we vaguely
make out the sillouhette of a man in some form of armour. Presently,
the door slides open and we see Admiral Harkov framed in it.)
Harkov: Lord Saotome?
(There is a splash and the lights in the room come on. Saotome is
revealed to be in a kneeling position-hard for a panda-with his trans-
lator harness suspended above him on a metal arm. His fur is sodden,
and there is a small puddle of water on the floor. With a whirr, the
harness falls down over his face and the screen comes alight.)
Saotome: {Yes?} (gets up)
Harkov: The Emperor has contacted us. He is most displeased with the
lateness of our deliveries lately.
Saotome: {Tell him we have stripped three more worlds, and that their
"precious resource" will arrive within the next day.
Harkov: Hai.
Saotome: {How goes operation "Thunder Strike?"}
Harkov: Our spies report that Ranma has arrived on Jyusenkyou.
Saotome: {Good. Cologne will prepare him for his task.}
Harkov: Is this wise? Cologne _is_ a Jedi Master. We've gone
through a lot for this boy, and she might destroy it all.
Saotome: (growl/laughs) {I doubt it. I, of all people, know
Ranma.} (clears screen) {Trust me, our investment is secure.}
Harkov: If you say so. Oh, our informant has reported that our
quarry has arrived on Bespin as planned.
Saotome: {Good. Tell him we will keep our end of the bargain.}
Harkov: Hut is growing restless. Solo, apparently, must be made an
example.
Saotome: {Tell the bounty hunter that she can keep Solo. He is
unimportant.}
Harkov: Hai. Everything is going to plan, then?
Saotome: {Hardly. Kodachi is still a wild card. Prepare my shuttle...}
(Cut back to Bespin. In a hallway which is peculiarly open and airy for
a mining and shipping port we see our rebels, being led by Tsubasa.
Droids, aliens, and humans of all types wander about. Ukyou is talking
animatedly to Akane, who looks slightly uncomfortable.)
Ukyou: ...this solves everything, Akane! Now I really _can_ marry
Ranchan, and you'll be free of that stupid engagement!
Tarou: I wouldn't get your hopes up. You're still overlooking the fact
that your original body was male.
Ukyou: That doesn't matter! Even if I am...you know, I can still marry
Ranchan! You forgot about his curse! It was _meant_ to be!
Akane: I doubt...
Tsubasa(huffy): Who is this "Ranchan" anyway?
Mousse: Ukyou fell in love with him a while back. We thought it was a
glitch in her programming, but now... (shrugs)
Tsubasa: That's impossible! Ukyou-sama loves _me_!
Mousse: That might have been true once, but it isn't anymore. She
doesn't even remember you, and neither do I, but she _does_ remember
Ranma.
Tsubasa: Ranma?
Mousse: His real name. Ranchan's just a pet name.
Tsubasa: Oh. (looks determined) Well she _will_ remember me! I'll
have to replace both your memories before I return you to your human
forms anyway.
Mousse: Do I _have_ to become human?
Akane(shocked): You don't want to?
Mousse: There's no real reason for it. _I_ don't have anybody that I
love.
Tsubasa: (shrugs) Suit yourself. I'll replace your memories anyway.
Mousse: I'd appreciate that.
(They come to a heavily guarded door.)
Tsubasa: Here we are.
(She waves aside the guards and the group enters what is obviously a
lab. Large computer banks line the walls, with unusual sensors and
probes connected to them by thick wires and tubing. Droids that look
vaguely like spiders with multi-tool extensions for legs tramp about.
However, all eyes immediately go to the far wall, where two large
cylinders can be seen. They are tall, made of a seamless dark grey
metal, except where an indented wrap-around piece of lighter grey metal
covers the upper front. A single vertical line bisects these
indentations. Ukyou is shaking with excitement. Suddenly, Ryouga
stops and blinks as something dawns on him.)
Ryouga: Wait!
Ukyou(snaps): What?
Ryouga: This all happened when you were five, right?
Ukyou: I guess so.
Tsubasa: (nods) It did.
Ryouga: And Tsubasa put your bodies in cryo-stasis?
Tsubasa: Hai.
Ryouga: Shouldn't the bodies be five years old?
Ukyou: (blinks) I hadn't thought of that...oh no!
Tsubasa: Don't worry. Both your bodies are developed. The cure to
Brinarian fever was discovered about five months after I transferred
your intelligences. Unfortunately, you were gone by then, but I did
cure the bodies. I knew that if you ever returned that you'd want
mature bodies, so I've been letting them mature in the tanks.
Ukyou: Arigato, Tsubasa! (Ukyou hugs her, and Tsubasa beams. Ukyou
releases her and steps back self-consciously after a moment) Well,
let's see them.
(Tsubasa nods and pulls out a tiny device that looks like a remote
control. He taps a button, and the metal indent on the right cylinder
splits along its vertical line and slides under the metal sheath. We
can now see a glass wall, behind which is a boy's body. He is
floating in a light pink liquid and appears to be about seventeen.
His body from mid-waist down is obscured, but he is apparently naked.
The boy is handsome, with chinese features and long black hair.)
Ukyou(apprehensively): Who's that?
Tsubasa: Mousse. (worried) I'll open Ukyou-sama's now.
Tarou: Brace yourself, Ukyou.
(Ukyou nods mutely and grits her teeth. Everyone watches the cylinder
with anticipation-except Mousse, who is looking at a vaguely human-shaped
sensor.)
Mousse: That isn't much of a body.
Ukyou(hisses): Quiet! [Please, please, please...]
(Tsubasa hits another button, and the metal slides apart. Ukyou's human
body is revealed. Like Mousse, Ukyou's body is naked from the waist up.
Unlike Mousse, however, it is most definitely female.
Switch back to Jyusenkyou, just outside Cologne's hut. Ranma is
balancing himself upside-down on one finger, and is holding a large
rock in his free hand. Cologne perches on a nearby tree stump.)
Cologne: now, boy, you must feel the Force around and through you like
a mist. Concentrate... (Ranma looks like he is)...spin the mist into
a strand with your will. (Ranma begins to sweat) Probe with it and
latch onto that which you wish to lift. (pauses) Now, gently...lift.
(Shakily at first, but then with increasing steadiness, three nearby
rocks rise off the ground and hover in the air.)
Cologne(grudgingly): Good, you're a quick study. Now I want you to
move them to the...
(Ranma tumbles and lands on his back. The rocks drop with dull thuds.)
Cologne: Boy! That was _not_ what I asked you to do.
Ranma: (groans) What do you want from me? I'm only human.
Cologne: No you're not. You are Jedi. You are not human, you are more
than human.
Ranma: Tell that to my head...
Cologne: You're still thinking in terms of physical power.
Ranma: (sits up) Isn't that what it's all about? The Jedi are warriors,
pure and simple, right?
Cologne: (sighs) No they aren't. (shakes head) It is time you learned
more about the Jedi.
Ranma: How?
(Cologne points with her staff at a twisted and deformed tree. Ranma
looks at it and frowns.)
Ranma: In there? (Cologne nods) That place feels...
Cologne: It is strong in the Dark Side.
(Ranma's frown deepens, and he stands up, absently picking up his
lightsabre.)
Cologne: You won't need that.
Ranma: And you also said that lifting the rock would be easy. I'll
believe you...in another lifetime, maybe.
Cologne: (shrugs) As you wish...
(Ranma grunts and walks over to the tree. He examines it for a
minute, then discovers an opening between two roots. He squeezes
into it and emerges in a cramped, damp cave. He stalks down the
corridor-like cave-shying away from a pool of water being fed by a
dripping from the ceiling-fingering his lightsabre. Abruptly, a
mist flows up from farther down the cave and obscures everything.
Ranma snaps out his weapon and activates it, casting blue rays into
the mist. Suddenly, the air behind him is split by a resounding cry.
He whirls and sees a shadowy figure rushing at him. Apparently without
stopping to think, Ranma swings his lightsabre and cuts it down. The
mist parts slightly, and Ranma gasps in shock. The figure lying dead
on the ground is Ukyou, somehow human, and with an expression of
stunned horror on her face. Not long after we see Ranma climb out of
the cave and walk over to Cologne. She looks up at him and smiles.)
Cologne: Now boy, are you ready to learn?
Ranma: No I'm not. What was that supposed to be?
Cologne: (shrugs) It's symbolic of a possible future.
Ranma: WHAT?!?
Cologne: The cave always reveals a possible future to those who enter.
It's different for each one.
Ranma: You don't know what I saw?
Cologne: Of course not. I know what it would show me, but not what it
would show you.
Ranma: Is there any way I can prevent it?
Cologne: By not allowing yourself to serve the Dark Side. By following my
teachings and remaining so that I can teach them.
Ranma: I need something more direct.
Cologne: You won't get it.
Ranma: Then I'm leaving.
Cologne: You can't! You're not ready!
Ranma: (walking away) I know enough. I won't let Ucchan die!
(Cologne stares after him for a second, then sighs and shakes her head. Cut
back to Tsubasa's lab on Bespin. Everybody-except Mousse-is staring at the
newly-revealed body of Ukyou...which just happens to be female. Ukyou's
expression is vying between surprise and joy, Tsubasa is pale, and Ryouga,
Akane, and Tarou are shocked.)
Akane: She _is_ female!
Tarou: But how could Tsubasa love a girl?
Ukyou: I'm a girl! Ranchan will be so happy!!!
Ryouga: She's a lesbian. It's the only explanation.
Mousse: I keep telling you that she's a _he_. That's why Ukyou is a girl.
Tarou(growls): If you call Tsubasa a boy again Mousse, I'll tear you apart.
(to Tsubasa) Excuse me, but this idiot needs proof.
Tsubasa(edgy): Well, actually...
Tarou: (grabs the top of her dress) Sorry about this. (he rips down, peeling
the dress off, to reveal...)
(...two wads of kleenex, which fall slowly to the ground and leave Tsubasa's
flat chest revealed. Tarou stares for a second, then jumps back with a
"gaah". Tsubasa smiles weakly.)
Tsubasa: Surprise again...
Ryouga(shocked/horrified): TRANSVESTITE!!! You're a transvestite!
Mousse: Told you so.
(Tarou is in a steaming rage. He stomps over to Tsubasa and picks him up by
the neck.)
Tarou(deadly quiet): You _lied_ to us, you... (losing it)...you twisted,
perverted, hentai, fagot, transvestite FREAK! (begins to shake him) DIE!!!
Tsubasa(struggling for breath): I...can...explain...
Ukyou: Don't kill he...him!
Tarou: Why not?
Ukyou: Tsubasa's the only one who can put me back in my real body. After he
does that, you can kill him.
Tarou: Oh, very well.
(He drops Tsubasa, who lands and begins gasping for breath.)
Tsubasa: As I said *gasp* I can explain *wheeze* please come *gasp* with me...
Akane(suspicious): Where to?
Tsubasa: A place where we can *gasp* wait while the bodies are moved to the
transference *wheeze* centre.
Ukyou: Fine, and on the way you can explain this.
(Cut to a hallway, where Tsubasa is again leading the somewhat disgusted
group.)
Tsubasa: ...knew Ukyou wouldn't love me as a girl, so when the fever came I
took the chance to make her new body male, and to adjust her engrams to the
same purpose, not to mention...
Ukyou(sickened): ...make me love you.
Tsubasa: But you always loved me! You just never expressed it because you
knew how people would react.
Akane(sneers): So it wasn't an accident, you caused Ukyou to lose her memories
when you tried to alter them. (pause) You disgust me.
(They come to a door. This one is smaller, and not guarded. It slides open,
and they all step in. Kunou is seated at the head of a long table, calmly
eating dinner. Everybody except Tsubasa stops in shock. Then, with a cry of
rage, Ryouga leaps onto the table and activates his Brella. The weapon
flashes to life, but is suddenly snatched from his hand by a grappling cable.
Everybody looks over at the corner, where Shampoo Fett calmly reels in her
prize.)
Mousse(surprise): SHAMPOO!!! (he leaps at her)
Shampoo: Nani? (he glomps her) Aiya! Mad droid!
Mousse: Shampoo! Shampoo! My darling Shampoo! (pulls back) How do I
know you again?
(Shampoo takes the opportunity to place her hand in between them. There
is a flash of blue light and Mousse is flung across the room. Kunou
leaps to his feet, his lightsabre crackling to life. Ryouga wastes no
time in pulling out his bandanna-blaster while Ukyou cocks her spatula-
shot. Both begin unleashing a volley of shots, but Kunou deftly catches
them all on his lightsabre. Then he gestures with his free hand, and
Ryouga's weapon flies from his grip to Kunou's. Tarou looks as if he
is about to join the fray when Tsubasa calmly places a blaster to his
temple. Akane also appears as if she is about to join, when a troop
of stormtroopers pour into the room from two side doors. Both she and
Ukyou stop in mid-action. Kunou shuts down his lightsabre and sits.)
Kunou: It is most fortuitous that thou hath decided to be civil.
(gestures to the table) Please sit.
(With prompting from the stormtroopers, everyone except Mousse sits
down at the table. The droid is lying against the wall, a burn mark
on his chest. Shampoo also sits, and so does Tsubasa, who is using
one hand to hold his dress in place. Tsubasa looks like he just
killed his father, while Shampoo is smiling cockily. Kunou claps his
hands.)
Kunou: Food for my most welcome guests. (some servants hurry to
fulfill the request)
Ukyou(glaring at Tsubasa): You _betrayed_ us, you...(hissing)...you
slimy, disgusting, perverted, sickening, traitorous BASTARD!
(Each word slams into Tsubasa like a missile, and he shrinks more
and more in on himself.)
Tsubasa(weakly): I had no choice... (desperate) They arrived just
before you, if I'd known that you were...
(Ukyou throws her head angrily to the side, and Tsubasa trails off.)
Kunou: My dear princess, you are not eating.
Akane: Go to hell, Kunou.
Kunou: (sighs) Nay, gentle Akane, (melodramatic pause) for in these
past years without your presence I have languished in most horrible
infernos of despair and remorse. I do lament most fully my laxness
in guarding you from those foul sorcerers who whisked you away from
my embrace.
Akane: Huh?
Kunou: But fear not, for our love shall never be denied by those ever-
accursed servants of the Dark Side, and we shall travel the stars together
for the betterment of the Empire!
Akane: I'm not going anywhere with you!
Kunou: (sighs) I see the foul sorceries still hold sway upon your blessed
soul. It is of no import, for I shall seek out the perpetuators of these
evil magicks and undo dually them and him!
(Mousse shakes his head and rises to his feet.)
Mousse: Shampoo! What happened?
(Shampoo cocks her arm at Mousse. A tiny ion blaster pops out of her
wristguard.)
Shampoo: Stay back, crazy droid.
Mousse: Shampoo! Don't you remember me?
Shampoo: No. Where Shampoo meet crazy droid?
Mousse: I don't know. That's why I asked you.
Ryouga: Mousse, be quiet! We're in enough...
Shampoo(shocked): MOUSSE?!?!?
Mousse: You remember me?
Shampoo: It not possible! Mousse human! You droid!
Mousse: But I _am_ human. Just ask him. (points at Tsubasa)
Shampoo: Is true, train-vest-eat?
Tsubasa(weakly): I prefer uniquely wardrobed individual...and yes. He
is Mousse.
Shampoo: Shampoo no believe it! Crazy droid can't...wait...maybe crazy
droid Mousse.
Mousse: (sitting down) I'm so glad we cleared that up. Now...how do I
know you?
Shampoo: If you is Mousse, then you and Shampoo growed up same place.
Mousse always...say he love Shampoo, but he weak. Shampoo keep pounding
him until he leave for to train on far world. Shampoo no miss him, she
happy he never come back.
Ukyou: (looks at Tsubasa angrily) How come Mousse can remember things and
I can't?
Tsubasa(quietly): Well, Mousse wasn't the one I was concentrating my
efforts on. He simply got caught in the feedback loop, and the memory
wipe would have been imperfect at best. It may even degrade further.
(Another glare from Ukyou causes Tsubasa to crumple up like a crushed
paper doll.)
Ryouga: Okay, now that that's sorted out...Kunou. What do you plan on doing
with us?
Kunou: (sips from his wineglass) With you? Nothing. I shall leave you
with friend Tsubasa, who may do with you as he pleases. I shall be taking
the fair Akane with me, to ensure her safety.
(Akane glares. Ukyou looks disgusted. Ryouga, Tarou and Mousse look
perplexed, while Shampoo is angry.)
Shampoo: Shampoo hope Kunou-Jedi not going back on word. He say Shampoo
could take Ryo-lonely back to Hut. (Ryouga and Tarou gasp)
Kunou: Very well, do what you wish with Solo.
Shampoo(sarcastically): Arigato...(normal tone) but Shampoo need make sure
he no escape. Friend Conditioner capture Ryo-lonely once and she lock up,
but when she check him on he no there, instead little pig there.
(Akane blinks and Ryouga looks at her with a worried expression, but she
simply rolls her eyes and shakes her head. Ryouga sighs in relief.)
Tarou(under breath): Thick as a brick...
Kunou: Friend Tsubasa, art thou in possession of a device to ensure that
Solo will not through foulest deceit and trickery escape from yon noble
seeker of those who flee?
Tsubasa(miserable): I don't...wait. (looks up) I do have a carbon freezing
facility...
Kunou: Excellent.
(Kunou sips his wine, than after a moment his eyes widen and he spits it out
in a stream.)
Kunou(shaking voice): He comes!
Shampoo: Who?
Kunou(growls): That miserable cur who cheated me of victory at the Battle
of Dojo! That foul sorcerer, that conniving dog, that...
Akane(surprised): _Ranma_!
Ukyou(just as surprised): Coming here? (starry eyed) he's coming to rescue
me...er...us!
(Kunou leaps to his feet.)
Tarou: (leaning back) What's your hurry, Kunou?
Kunou(snarls): Bounty hunter, gather them up. We go to the facility now! We
must be prepared by the time he arrives! (turns to a stormtrooper) You! Tell
them to delay him for as long as possible. He'll be in an X-wing. (sneers)
At last I shall have my revenge!
(Cut to space, near Bespin. Ranma's X-wing pulls out of hyperspace in a flash
of pseudo-motion. He pulls it towards the planet. In his cockpit, Ranma has
a perplexed look.)
Ranma: [Why did I come here?] (pauses) [Wait, I can feel Ukyou! She's here
and she's in danger! I've gotta save her!]
(Just then a squadron of Gunboats pull away from Cloud City and bee-line
for Ranma's craft.)
Ranma: [So they want to play, eh?] (his fighter's wings lock into combat
position) Alright, let's play.
(Switch scenes to a crude factory-like facility, the middle of which is
dominated by a monstrous machine which is hanging over a round pit in the
floor. The entire group from the impromptu dinner party is there. Tarou,
growling menacingly, is in chains, but everybody else is free. Shampoo is
standing as far as possible from Mousse. Tsubasa examines readouts.)
Kunou: Is it ready yet?
Tsubasa: No, I need (pulls a lever) to adjust it perfectly (twists a knob)
or Solo-kun will die.
Ryouga: Don't call me Solo-kun.
Shampoo: Ryo-lonely no good to Shampoo dead.
Kunou: Very well, but hurry. (paces about)
Tsubasa: (after a few minutes) There, we're ready.
Kunou: Excellent. Throw him in!
(Two stormtroopers grab Ryouga and pull him towards the pit.)
Ryouga: Wait! Don't I get a last request?
Kunou: I am honourable. What do you desire?
Ryouga: To say something to Akane... (she looks at him curiously)
Kunou: Quickly.
Ryouga: Akane...I... (she blinks; he struggles for a moment then blurts)
I love you! I have always loved you! And I always will!
Akane: ... (and) ... (not to mention) ...
Kunou: Whelp! I should...
Officer: (running in) Lord Kunou! Lord Kunou!
Kunou: (activating lightsabre) What? Can you not see that I am otherwise
occupied?
Officer: (blanches) I just...that X-wing, it's destroyed our forces and
is heading for the city!
Kunou: WHAT?!? Are my forces _totally_ incompetent?
Tarou(sneers): Like leader, like soldier.
Kunou: (grabs Akane's wrist) Come, princess, we must prepare! Soon you
shall be free!
(He begins to drag Akane towards a door not too far away. Akane stares
at Ryouga, her expression a mixture of confusion, surprise, and...concern?
Pity? She snaps out of her confusion as the door slides open.)
Akane: Ryouga! I... (she's cut off as the door closes)
Ryouga(despairing): AKANE!
(He stretches his hand towards where she disappeared, then it falls to his
side in despair.)
Shampoo: okay, Ryo-lonely, into freezing...(stops for some reason, perhaps
having to do with the blaster Tsubasa is holding to her head) Nani?
Ukyou(surprised): Tsubasa?
Tsubasa(determined): I _won't_ betray you, Ukyou-sama. They never told me
about you. I'm sorry.
(Abruptly, the three dozen or so stormtroopers about the room lock their
rifles into position.)
Ukyou: Tarou!
(She launches a spatula which cleaves the thermos on his belt. There is a
splash and a metallic snap as the chains are ripped apart by Tarou-minotaur.
He bellows in rage and flies into two troopers, bowling them over. Ukyou
leaps into action and launches a flurry of spatulas into the higher reaches
and catwalk, knocking multiple opponents off them. Mousse turns and snaps
a chain around a trooper's ankle; with a jerk he pulls the soldier off his
feet and uses him to clear the platform of troopers. Ryouga cries out in
a bellow of rage and despair much like Tarou's and charges the nearby
soldiers, promptly tearing them apart. The rest of the troopers don't
even fare as well as those ones. They finish up and calm down. Tsubasa
is still holding the blaster to Shampoo's head.)
Tsubasa: If we hurry, we can catch up with Kunou.
Ryouga: Hai!
(He begins to run...straight towards the pit.)
Ukyou: RYOUGA! WRONG WAY!
Ryouga: Huh?
(He tries to stop, but his momentum is too great and with a yelp he plummets
into the pit. The machine comes to life, and steam pours out of the hole.
Shampoo uses the distraction as a chance to grab Tsubasa's arm and flip him
into Ukyou. Both tumble to the ground. Tarou bellows in rage, but she
merely cocks her wrist blaster and strikes him with a flash of blue energy.
Tarou drops to his minotaur haunches, blood-shot eyes unfocused. Shampoo
swings her blaster to point at Mousse.)
Shampoo: Stay back, crazy Mousse-droid!
Mousse: Shampoo! What? Why? How?
Shampoo: Shampoo take Ryo-lonely back to the Hut. (sneers) You think train-
vest-eat stop her? Ha! Shampoo always win!
(As Ukyou and Tsubasa scramble to their feet, the steam stops and a large
metal claw grinds into the hole. Their is a clamping sound, and the claw
retracts, carrying a block of brownish carbonite in a techno-box. Sticking
out of the block, and covered with a skin-tight sheath of carbonite are
Ryouga's face, one hand and a knee. His expression is horrified. Shampoo
reaches over and taps a button. The claw moves to the side of the pit and
releases the block. It lands vertically, and Shampoo kicks it onto its
back.)
Shampoo: No follow Shampoo! (swings her blaster from Ukyou, to Tsubasa,
to Tarou, to Mousse) Or I blow up you!
(She reaches down and touches something on the techno-box. It hovers off
the ground and Shampoo begins to walk backward, with one hand on the block
and her blaster still panning the room. Tarou begins to shake his head as
the door opens, and is on his feet by the time it closes. He bellows.)
Mousse: Shampoo! I'm coming, Shampoo! (both run to the door)
Ukyou: Wait! What about...(the door closes behind them; weakly) Akane...
(sighs) I guess it's up to me. C'mon, Tsubasa.
Tsubasa: Hai, Ukyou-sama.
Ukyou: Don't call me that!
(They run out. Cut to elsewhere in cloud City. Ranma is stalking down
one of the hallways with a determined expression. He stops, and two
troopers burst out of a side door. They are surprised by his presence,
but he is not surprised by theirs. With a single swing he cuts them
down. He runs by the bodies without a second glance and turns the
corner...to come face-to-face with Shampoo.)
Shampoo: Nani?
Ranma: Out of my way!
(He swings his lightsabre, but Shampoo leaps over it and lands on the
block of carbonite behind her.)
Shampoo: Who stupid boy?
Ranma: I said get out of my way!
Shampoo: Why in such hurry? (casually raises her wrist blaster)
Rane both examining a screen.)
Ukyou: The transports ago nowhere!
(She fires a blast but Ranma catches it on his lightsabre. Gritting her
teeth, she lets loose with a volley of blaster fire, all of which Ranma
easily catches. With a cry, he leaps into the air and knocks Shampoo
off the block. She rolls behind the block and comes up in a defensive
stance. Ranma now stands on the carbonite-still not having noticed
who's in it {not that he'd care if he did}. Shampoo reaches behind
her and unhooks a short pole from her backpack. Ranma flips over her
as she flips a switch on the pole and a large, glowing sphere expands
from the far end. They exchange a few blows, but Ranma's lightsabre
seems to bounce off the super-reflective ball on Shampoo's weapon.)
Shampoo: Ha! Stupid Jedi! Shampoo know how to deal with you!
(She comes in with a series of high overhead swings, all of which
Ranma deflects with ease.)
Ranma: I don't have the time to bother with you! Now, Cologne told me...
Shampoo: (stops) Cologne?
Ranma: (points his lightsabre at her) MOKO TAKABISHA SABRE TECHNIQUE!!!
(The lightsabre expands into a ball of blue energy. Shampoo barely
has time to blink before the ball consumes her. Ranma shuts down his
weapon, and Shampoo is revealed to be embedded in the wall with "X's"
for eyes.)
Ranma: There...now to find Ucchan.
(He runs off. After a moment, Shampoo shakes her head and steps out
of the wall woozily. She blinks, then her hands go to her face.)
Shampoo: AIYA! Shampoo beat! (pauses) But Jedi is cute... (excited)
Must find husband!
Voice: Wait.
Shampoo: (turning) Nani? Oh, is you.
(We see a figure in the shadows, but can't make whoever it is out.)
Figure: Do not bother to chase him. I will make sure he comes to you
soon enough. Now take Solo to the Hut.
Shampoo: But...
Figure: (holds up a hand) Trust me. Now go.
Shampoo: Hai.
(She begins pushing the carbonite past the figure, who melts into the
shadows and disappears. Cut to the lab where Mousse and Ukyou's human
bodies are stored. Kunou walks in with a struggling Akane.)
Kunou: Yes! He shall come here! I can feel it!
Akane: Let me go! (struggle futilely)
Kunou: (sighs) His presence is causing you distress, my fair princess.
I fear you shall cause harm to yourself. Allow me to secure you until
I destroy that vile sorcerer.
(He pulls her over to a pile of cable and ties her up with it.)
Akane: Let me go! _Let_ _me_ _go_!!!
Kunou: Fear not, you shall be free soon enough!
(Just then, Ukyou and Tsubasa rush in. Ukyou sees the situation and
extends her spatula to battle length.)
Ukyou: Okay, Kunou! Let Akane go!
Akane: Ukyou! How'd you escape?
Ukyou(grudgingly): Tsubasa helped.
Akane: Tsubasa?!? That hentai helped?
Tsubasa: I did it for Ukyou-sama.
Kunou: (activates his lightsabre) Traitorous whelp! You shall die for
defying the Empire!
Ukyou: The only person who's going to die here is you!
(They charge, and fly past each other with red and metallic grey flashes
as they swing their respective weapons. As Ukyou stops, her battle
spatula falls forward, cut off her arm. Kunou turns with a sneer.)
Ukyou: My spatula?!?
Kunou: Ha! No droid is a match for a Jedi ninja! HAR!
(He gestures and Ukyou is flung across the room, to collide with the
wall next to her tank. She collapses, apparently dazed.)
Tsubasa: NO!
(He fires off two quick rounds with his blaster. Kunou whirls and
catches them both, then gestures and Tsubasa is flung away to slam
into the wall. He falls unconscious, and Kunou turns back to Ukyou.)
Kunou: Now to finish you off...
Voice: KUUUUNNNOOOUUU!!!!
(Kunou spins, to see Ranma outlined in the doorway, blue lightsabre
activated.)
Ranma: Get _away_ from Ucchan!
Akane: RANMA!
Ukyou: Ranchan?!
Kunou: At least we meet, foul sorcerer. Know that I, Tatewaki Kunou,
Jedi ninja and Blue Thunder of the Empire, do hold you most wholly
responsible for the enslavement of the fair Akane's heart. And for this,
I shall seek vengeance. For it has been revealed to me that only one
of us shall leave this room alive!
Ranma: (staring at Ukyou's body) What the...human...
Ukyou: Watch out, Ranchan!
(Ranma parries Kunou's first swing. Cut away {yeah, it is nasty} and go
to a landing pad outside of Cloud City. Shampoo's ship, the Bonbori, is
parked on the pad, and she directs two stormtroopers to load Ryouga onto
the craft. They finish, and with a wicked smile, Shampoo enters and the
hatch slides shut. The troopers position themselves on a catwalk, but
frozen by a blood-curdling roar. Tarou-still a minotaur-rushes up the
catwalk and doesn't even slow down as he flings them over the side and
into the clouds. Mousse is right behind him, but both are too late as
the Bonbori lifts from the pad and speeds away too fast for Tarou to
follow. He bellows.)
Mousse: Shampoo! No! Don't leave me!
Tarou: Mooo! Growl! Mooo! Snort!
Mousse: Eh? (Tarou makes pouring gestures) Oh!
(Mousse pops a thermos and a pack of clothes out of his shoulder and hands
them to Tarou. He then looks away as Tarou transforms and dresses.)
Tarou: Okay, let's go.
Mousse: (turns to face the wall) Where?
Tarou: To find the others so we can go after her!
Mousse: Hai! Good idea!
(Cut back to the lab, where Ranma and Kunou are exchanging blows. Akane
is still tied up, Tsubasa is still unconscious. Ukyou is one her feet,
but is unwilling or unable to come to Ranma's aid. The two combatants
seem very evenly matched. Ranma is faster and a better natural fighter,
but Kunou is a fully trained Jedi who has had a lot more experience with
his lightsabre. Their blades cross in a lightning quick exchange. Red
and blue flash as both Ranma and Kunou look for an opening in the other's
defences.)
Kunou: You (parry) are (thrust) good! (block) It has been (dodge) a
long (swing) time since (feint) I have fought a worthy opponent!
(Ranma chops down powerfully, but Kunou blocks it. The two struggle
for a moment, then Kunou throws Ranma back. He rolls to his feet.)
Ranma: Don't you ever shut up?
(Ranma comes in with a series of swings that instantly put Kunou on
the defensive. However, this time Ranma doesn't stick purely to his
lightsabre. With a cry, he turn kicks Kunou in the stomach, following
up with a backhand swing and a downward swipe. Kunou avoids the
series and comes back with a low, fast strike. Ranma brushes it aside
almost disdainfully and uppercuts Kunou. Kunou staggers, but manages
to parry Ranma's three follow-up attacks. Kunou is still off-balance
when he performs a powerful thrust, and he overextends himself,
allowing Ranma to grab his wrist and pull him off his feet. Kunou
flies into one of the spider-droids, and barely manages to rise to
his knees by the time Ranma leaps in. Ranma attacks, driving Kunou's
lightsabre to the side.)
Ranma: Do you yield?
Tsubasa: (just waking up) Wha? Who?
Ranma: (looks over sharply) Who? A new opponent...
(In the process of looking at Tsubasa, Ranma takes his eyes off Kunou.
With a triumphant yell, he swings his lightsabre around in a wide arc
that sends the hand Ranma was holding his lightsabre with flying away.
Ranma cries out in pain and falls to his knees, clutching the bloody
stump where his hand used to be.)
Akane: Ranma! Ukyou(shrieks): _RANCHAN_!!!
Kunou: I do not yield, Dark Jedi, I _destroy_!
(He pulls up his lightsabre to finish off Ranma.)
Ukyou: NO!
(She launches a spatula which cuts open Kunou's shoulder, causing him
to cry out.)
Kunou: You! (turns to her) Will die for that!
(He grabs the spider-droid and hurls it at Ukyou. She dodges to the
side, and the droid crashes into her tank, shattering the glass. She
snaps her head around and looks up. The spider-droid is half in and
half-out of the tank. Pink liquid flows out, tinged with a red stream.
The source of that stream is one of the droid's legs...which is
sticking right through Ukyou's body. Ukyou watches in horror as the
colour drains from her human form. Tsubasa almost mirrors the process,
and Akane gasps.)
Ukyou(absolute despair): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Ranma looks over and sees the body; his eyes come alight with rage.
Leaping to his feet, he ignores his stump and thrusts his good hand
towards his severed one. The lightsabre flies from it and settles into
his grip.)
Ranma: You killed Ucchan! DIE!
(Kunou spins about as Ranma rushes him. They sprint past each other
with a simultaneous flash from their lightsabres. Kunou winds up
facing Akane-who flinches-and Ranma ends up facing Tsubasa. Ranma
spins and snaps his lightsabre into position, but Kunou doesn't move.
Instead, his weapon falls from his finger and he collapses to his
knees, clutching his chest.)
Kunou: (coughs up a little blood) I've won... (falls forward onto both
hands, with obvious effort he lifts his head to look at Akane and
stretches his hand towards her) You're free... (the light starts
draining from his eyes) ...my...princess...
(He dies. A single tear rolls down Akane's cheek. Ranma, however, is
not touched. He stalks over to Kunou's body, deactivating his light-
sabre and buckling it to his belt. He reaches down and pulls Kunou up
off the floor, turning the dead Jedi to face him. Kunou's face is
strangely calm.)
Ranma: Get up! (raging) I'm not finished with you! (shakes the body)
Now get up! (shakes Kunou) Get up! Get up!
(Ukyou's metallic hand closes over Ranma's wrist.)
Ukyou: He's dead, Ranma. Leave him be.
Ranma: (seems to shake something off) Ucchan? You're alive?
Ukyou(calm facade cracks): Hai... (begins to break down) At least...in
this form... (breaks down completely) Oh Ranchan!!!
(Ranma drops Kunou and holds Ukyou gently as she heaves with tearless
sobs.)
Ranma: (to Tsubasa) Take my lightsabre and free Akane. (turns back to
Ukyou) There there, Ucchan. It'll be alright...there, there.
(Tsubasa removes Ranma's lightsabre and gingerly cuts Akane free. Akane
starts to move towards Ranma and Ukyou, but Tsubasa stops her.)
Tsubasa: Here, help me with this instead.
(He points at Mousse's tank.)
Akane: Why?
Tsubasa: (looks at Ukyou) I want to bring happiness to at least one
person...(Akane nods mutely)
(Cut to a corridor in Cloud City. A squadron of stormtroopers trot down
it, weapons at the ready. Suddenly, a tiny spherical object falls into
their midst and explodes, scattering them like leaves. Tarou and Mousse
drop from the ceiling and mop up those still conscious. They both start
down the hall and presently turn a corner. They are now in a long glass
tunnel stretching from one tower to another, with a thin metal walkway
for a floor. On the opposite side is the other group.)
Tarou: _There_ you are! (runs over) We've been looking all over for...
(stops) Jeez! Ranma, are you all right?
(Ranma is supporting the weeping Ukyou, and his stump arm is in tight to
his chest. Akane and Tsubasa are leading a cryo-tank on a hover platform.
Mousse runs up beside Tarou.)
Mousse: What happened?
Ranma: (distant look) I'd rather not talk about it. (Ukyou heaves with
another dry sob)
(Tarou lets them both pass and falls in step with Akane; so does Mousse.)
Tarou: What happened?
Akane: (grimaces) You know Ukyou's body?
Tarou: Hai...
Akane: (sighs) Kunou killed it.
Tarou: And...
Akane: And Ranma killed him.
Tarou: Good for him. Kunou had it coming.
Akane(sadly): No he didn't. Kunou wasn't really evil, just misled...
Tarou: If you say so... (looks to his right; startled) TIE!
Akane: What?
Tarou: TIE fighter! Everybody down!
(Everybody, of course, does not drop to the ground but instead looks to
the right. There, sure enough, is a TIE fighter that shrieks towards the
airwalk. Before anybody can react, it lets out a dual burst of green
laser fire. The blasts slam into the glass and shatter it like a rock
through... well...glass. For a moment, the rush of wind threatens to
toss everyone off the bridge, but they grab the tank and manage to hold
on...except Ranma and Ukyou, who are too far away to safely reach it.
With a cry, Ranma tosses Ukyou at the tank and Tarou grabs her. Unfortun-
ately, Ranma has left himself off-balance and he tumbles over the edge
without a sound.)
Ukyou: RANCHAN!!!
(Everyone gasps, but no one is able to move for a few seconds until the
wind dies down. Then Ukyou begins to make a rush to the side of the
bridge, but Tarou brings her up short with a strong hand.)
Ukyou: Let me go! I've got to help him!
Tarou: There's nothing you can do.
Ukyou: You're lying! I lost my own life! I won't lose his too!
(Akane comes up and touches something on Ukyou's back. She goes limp,
and Tarou tosses her over his shoulder.)
Tarou: Let's get to the Falcon. We aren't safe here.
(Everybody nods, and they rapidly push the tank along the bridge.
Switch to Ranma, who is tumbling end over end along the outside of
the tower. He passes a tightly wound coil of ducting, and with a
cry extends his good hand. The coil snaps off the tower at one end
and unfurls itself into Ranma's waiting hand. He grasps it in a
death grip, and falls a few dozen more feet before the coil snaps
taut, almost tearing his arm out of the socket and sending him
hurtling at the wall. He aims at a window, and in a shower of
glass shards he releases the duct and rolls through the hallway
beyond until he is brought to an abrupt halt by a wall. He remains
there for a moment, breathing harshly. Besides his amputated hand;
he now has many other injuries: multiple cuts from the window, a
large bump on his head, several purpling bruises, and an arm which
is limp and heavy. With obvious effort, he climbs to his feet and
staggers down the hal. He starts around a corner, but backtracks
almost immediately. Fumbling for his lightsabre with his wrenched
arm, he manages to get it out and activated by the time a figure
walks around the corner. It is Darth Saotome. In one paw, he
carries a thermos.)
Saotome: {We meet again, son.}
Ranma(growls): Saaoootommmee! What are _you_ doing here?
Saotome: {I've come for you.}
Ranma: Come to finish what you started?
Saotome: (pauses) {I've come to take you to the Dark Side.}
Ranma: (backing up very slowly) What are you talking about?
Saotome: {Your journey is already started.} (clears screen) {It is
only a matter of time now.}
Ranma: (still backing up) I don't know what you mean...
Saotome: {Yes you do.} (clears screen) {Remember the power you felt
on Hoth, and just recently the ecstasy you felt in killing Kunou?}
(Ranma looks uneasy; clears screen) {You can't deny what runs in
your blood.} (clears screen) {You are a member of the
Dark Jedi now. Come with me, son.}
Ranma: (now next to a door) NEVER!
(He blasts the lock with his lightsabre and runs through the door.)
Saotome: [You can run, but you can't hide.]
(Cut to the landing pad where the Hibiki Falcon rests. Akane and
Tarou leave the building. Tarou still has Ukyou draped over his
shoulder. They examine the empty surroundings for a moment, then
Akane nods at the exit and Tsubasa and Mousse push the tank out and
towards the Falcon.)
Tarou: Let's hurry, before they...
(Suddenly a squad of stormtroopers erupt out of the door. Tarou's
eyes narrow, and he tosses Ukyou on top of the tank.)
Tarou: Into the ship now!
(He kicks a trooper in the face, sending him flying back to collide
with several of his friends. Mousse stops pushing the tank, and Akane
takes his place. He then uses his duck-launcher to aid Tarou in
holding off the stormtroopers. fter a minute or so, Akane and Tsubasa
have wheeled (floated?) the tank up the ramp. Tsubasa whistles and
both Tarou and Mousse break off and run for the ship. The troopers
lock their weapons for a nice shot at the fleeing duo's backs, but
suddenly have other problems as one of the Falcon's quad turrets comes
to life and starts blasting them apart. Tarou and Mousse board, and
Tarou runs for the cockpit. Tsubasa sits in the co-pilot's seat.
Tarou notices that the ship's monitors are already on.)
Tarou: You had the ship prepped earlier?
Tsubasa: Hai, and I had the hyperdrive fixed. I ordered it as soon as
I discovered Ukyou-sama. I knew we would be leaving soon and with haste.
Tarou(grunts): Maybe you weren't as bad as I thought you were...maybe...
(The Falcon lifts off the ground and flies away, while Akane takes pot-
shots at the milling troopers with the quad cannon. Cut back to Ranma.
He steps wearily onto a catwalk over a wide, deep pit. He looks around,
and apparently satisfied that nobody is about, he begins to shamble
across, lightsabre held in his good hand. Reaching the halfway point-
which has two long arms of pipes extending from each side of the catwalk-
he leans on the guardrail, his breathing harsh and slow. When he looks up
again, Darth Saotome is standing on the other side of the catwalk. Ranma
looks frantically over his shoulder at the other side, but dismisses the
idea of flight. He turns back and attempts to rise to his feet, finally
settling for leaning against the rail with his lightsabre held
threateningly before him. Saotome steps forward.)
Saotome: {You're weak.}
Ranma(softly): Loss of blood will do that...why do you care?
Saotome: {Why, son? Why do you resist me?} (clears screen) {Why do you
fight your heritage? Why do you not join me?}
Ranma(weakly): I'll never join you!
Saotome: {Why?}
Ranma: (growls) Cause you killed my father.
(Saotome stops in absolute shock and amazement. He blinks slowly and
takes a step back.)
Saotome: {She never told you...} (clears screen) {I should have expected
as much.}
Ranma: Who never told me what?
Saotome: {Nodoka...your mother...never told you...}
Ranma: What? Come on, tell me! You're going to kill me anyway...
Saotome: {Ranma, I _am_ your father.}
(Ranma blinks, then laughs weakly.)
Ranma: This isn't a soap opera...besides, you're a panda!
Saotome: {Really...}
(Saotome lifts up the thermos he was carrying, tears off the top, and
splashes it's contents into his face. Ranma's eyes widen as Saotome is
replaced by a medium-sized, stocky man with dark skin and a bald head.
The armour instantly clamps together so that it is no longer mismatching,
but a set of black armour much like Kunou's-minus the cape. The man reaches
up and pulls off his translator harness, then tosses it behind him.)
Saotome-man: I am Genma Skywalker, your father.
Ranma: No...
Genma(takes a few steps forward): Join me, Ranma. Join me, and together we
will destroy the Emperor and rule the universe as father and son!
Ranma: No.
(He climbs over the guardrail and onto the arm. Genma runs over.)
Genma: Ranma! Don't! You must realize the power you will gain with me!
(Ranma stops, almost unwillingly) The Force is strong with you, and the
Dark Side even stronger. (extends his hand) Join me, and our future will
be glorious!
(Ranma half-extends his own hand, but stops. Behind Genma, he sees
something. Faces, the faces of his friends, his mother, even Ryouga and
Cologne; all looking sad.)
Ranma: NO!
(He lets go and plummets into the pit. Genma slams his fist against the
guardrail.)
Genma: DAMN! (gets control of himself) Oh well. There's always tomorrow.
(He turns away and leaves. Follow Ranma on his fall down the pit. He
tumbles-seemingly endlessly-and begins to drift towards the side. This
time neither help nor the Force saves him, merely luck. He shoots into a
hole in the side of the wall and slides down a long, sloping tunnel for
several seconds before coming to rest on a large iron portcullis. After
a few moments, he wearily raises his head.)
Ranma: Well, that's over...
(The portal opens beneath him and he falls a short distance before landing
on an antennae hanging beneath Cloud City. Scrambling for purchase, he
manages to grab a hold just as the portcullis closes and sighs in
resignation.)
Ranma:(grimaces in pain) Why can't anything be simple?
(He closes his eyes for a moment, then they snap open in sudden
realization. He shifts slightly, then closes his eyes again in
concentration.)
Ranma(softly): Akane...Akane...
(Cut back to the Falcon's cockpit. Akane has joined Tsubasa and Tarou.
Suddenly, she shakes her head and slaps her palm against her ear.)
Tarou: Something wrong, Akane?
Akane: No, just this annoying buzzing in my ear. I'll be fine.
Tsubasa: I've located the Bonbori on scanners. We can still catch it.
Tarou: Good, feed me the...
Tsubasa: Incoming TIE's! Evasive!
(Tarou pulls the ship to the side, avoiding the main volley of the three
squadrons of TIE Interceptors. However, some do hit and the ship is
jostled.)
Mousse(over intercom): There are too many! We'll never make it!
Akane: Mousse, Gosunkugi's not here. Let's keep it that way. We just
have to lose them somehow.
Tarou: Under.
Tsubasa: What?
Akane: (sighs) I thought you were over that.
Tarou: Sorry, backsliding. I meant under the city. Being that close to
the repulser pod will throw off the pursuit, and... (pauses; to Tsubasa)
Did you fix that unusual ion generator on the ship?
Tsubasa: Hai, though it's very impractical...
(Tarou smiles evilly.)
Tarou: Let's get rid of some TIE's!
(He pulls the ship around, and with a series of complex manoeuvres, manages
to fly in under Cloud City. The Falcon sweeps around the hover pod to
throw off any visual pursuit, then comes about to hover near the main pod.)
Tsubasa: (shakes head) Well, they can't sensor lock on us. Our own sensors
are less than worthless with all this interference. But we can't last
forever...
Tarou: We won't have to.
Akane: (eyes widen) RANMA!
Tarou: What?
Akane: Ranma's here! I can feel him!
Tarou: (pauses) If you say so. Where exactly?
Akane: I can't tell. (frowns) That direction. (waves her hand vaguely to
the right)
Tarou: All right.
Tsubasa: You don't actually believe her, do you?
Tarou: Yes I do. And if you argue with me, I won't hesitate to throw you
out.
Tsubasa: But we're over a hundred miles up!
Tarou: So? Can't you fly? I thought everyone could.
Tsubasa: (sighs) Fine. Get us killed. See if I care. I'm going to go
check on Ukyou-sama.
(He leaves, and Akane takes the co-pilot's seat. Not to long after, the
antennae upon which Ranma hangs comes into view. Ranma is apparently
unconscious. He is barely hanging on, and his head is thrown back; eyes
closed. He doesn't react to the Falcon's presence.)
Akane(worried): We'll never lock a tractor beam on him with all this
interference, and he won't be able to climb aboard.
Tarou: I'll have to go out for him. Stay here. (gets up)
Akane: Be careful. That hoverpod is causing powerful downdrafts.
(Tarou grunts and leaves. After a moment, Tsubasa enters.)
Tsubasa: Where's Tarou-kun going?
Akane: (points at the viewscreen) getting Ranma.
Tsubasa(startled): He really _is_ here! How...never mind. I don't want
to know.
(They watch as Tarou-minotaur flies out, pulls Ranma off the antennae
and returns to the ship.)
Akane: Keep this thing steady.
(She leaves Tsubasa and heads into the lounge-like area of the ship. In
there, Mousse is playing 3-D chess with himself while Ukyou sits in the
corner, looking miserable. Almost as soon as Akane enters, Tarou-
minotaur does too. He has Ranma draped in his arms. Ukyou's head snaps
up, and her self-pitying expression is instantly replaced by one of
concern. She leaps to her feet.)
Akane: How is he?
(Tarou snorts and shrugs. Ukyou runs over and gently removes Ranma from
Tarou's arms, laying him on a bed nearby. Tarou walks out as Akane comes
over. Ukyou frowns as she sees Ranma's strangely becalmed face.)
Ukyou: Ranchan? Ranchan, can you hear me?
(Ranma's eyes open slowly, and he gives Ukyou a cracked half-smile. He
tries to reach up to her, but is unable to. Ukyou grasps his hand
gently.)
Ranma(whispers): Ucchan...I'm okay?
Ukyou: Hai. What happened?
Ranma: I...I...fell into a conduit and managed to grab the antennae when
I came out...I've been hanging ever since...
Ukyou: (nods) Okay, you're safe now, Ranchan. Get some sleep. (Ranma's
eyes close, and he falls into slumber) He'll be fine. I'll take care of
him.
(Tarou-in human form-enters and looks at Akane. She nods. They head up
to the cockpit, where Tsubasa waits.)
Tsubasa: Well?
Akane: He'll live.
Tsubasa(mutters): Great. Just great.
Tarou: Okay, let's get out of here.
Tsubasa: But those TIE's are swarming all over the city! And more have
probably joined them...
Tarou: (grins) That's what I'm counting on.
(The Falcon begins to move, and with a lurch, dives into the clouds. It
continues for a moment, then pulls a 180 and heads back towards Cloud City.
In the cockpit, Tarou reaches for a familiar joystick and pops the safety.)
Tarou: BAKUSAI TEN KETSU CANNON!
(He jams the trigger, and an exterior view shows the multi-coloured beam
lance out from the ship and strike Cloud City. Tarou allows the beam to
continue for about half a minute, then shuts it down and pull abruptly
to the side. He shoots away from the hoverpod and comes out from under
Cloud City at Mach 10, heading for space. True to Tsubasa's prediction,
the TIE's have come in close to the city to look for them, and have been
joined by an additional three squadrons of Assault Gunboats. They all
turn to give chase, but are too slow. The city is suddenly covered with
multiple explosions which throw a hail of shrapnel into the Imperial
forces and force them to take evasive action. Cloud City tilts to its
side, and teeters like a ball on a ledge for a moment, then is trans-
formed into a fireball as the volatile gases inside explode and expand
outward. The explosion fries the imperials, and the Hibiki Falcon
makes for space unhindered, but not unobserved. In a shuttle pulling
into space on an opposite vector, Genma and Admiral Harkov watch the
death of Cloud City.)
Harkov: I guess you failed, at least in one mission.
Genma: No, old friend, I succeeded better than I could possible have
hoped for. (watches the Falcon disappear from view) Take us to
Coruscant, it's time to begin project "Rebirth."
Harkov: Hai.
(Cut to an operating room in the rebel fleet. Tofu is fitting a
bionic hand on a much better-looking Ranma. Akane and Nodoka are
talking nearby, but we can't make out what they're saying. Ukyou, as
always, hovers near her Ranchan.)
Tofu: How's that feel, Ranma?
(Ranma flexes the bionic appendage.)
Ranma: Fine, but how will it affect my curse?
Tofu: Not too much. I fit it with a self-adjusting textile appearance.
It can imitate both your male and female hands. I just need to do a
few more adjustments.
(He moves to the IV stand Ranma's hooked to, and prods at his hand with
some tools. Nodoka and Akane finish talking and nod to each other.
Akane wanders over to the window near Ranma's bed, while Nodoka walks to
the foot of it.)
Nodoka: I'm glad to see you're all right, son.
Ranma(coldly): I'm fine, mother. Just fine.
(Nodoka steps back, hurt, and Ranma sighs and shakes her head.)
Ranma: Sorry, mom. I'm just on edge.
Nodoka(relieved): That's understandable. Now our first...
(Just then Kasumi walks in with a datacard.)
Tofu: (glasses fog up) K...Kasumi! How nice to see you!
(He jams a tool into Ranma's hand, and sparks start to fly from it.
Ranma shrieks and begins to thrash in pain.)
Ukyou: Ranchan!
(She cuddles his face. At this moment, Mousse runs in. He is now human,
wearing a long white robe, and sporting black hair and a pair of
glasses...which are on his forehead.)
Mousse: Hey everyone! I'm human! And I can... (slams into a wall)
..see... (falls back, unconscious)
IV Stand: Ukyou-sama! (glomp)
Ukyou: Go away, you hentai!
(She starts to clobber Tsubasa with one hand, while still holding Ranma
with the other. Unfortunately for Ranma, his flailing free hand brushes
Akane's behind and she whirls with a look of doom on her face.)
Akane: You HENTAI!!!
(She slams her mallet over his head. Nodoka shakes her head as the
scene pulls away, and we see Ranma being clobbered, cuddled, and shocked
in the window, which recedes into the distance along with the rest of the
rebel fleet.)
THE END
All comments, as always, are to be directed to chmcenil@upei.ca or
apeori@ug.cs.dal.ca. Now, to answer just a few questions before they're
asked...
When Kunou was dragging Akane away in Cloud City, she said "Ryouga! I..."
and was cut off. This _could_ have been a declaration of love for the
lost boy, or it could have been "I love Ranma" or "I love Tarou" or "I
want to have a snack" or a whole bunch of things. Don't assume anything,
and keep it the mystery it was meant to be.
You also may have noticed that on Hoth, Ranma was a girl every time he was
outside. This is because snow is frozen water, which tends to melt against
skin.
Okay...any more question, comments, flames, and so on, please e-mail them
to us!
Jya na!
Blade & Epsilon