Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma the Amorous Over-Sexed Nympho ❯ Cologne ( Chapter 16 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Ranma the Amorous Over-sexed Nympho
"Don't fight it, Yu-chan! It's bigger than both of us!" Akane chased a panicked Yuka around school campus, much to Akane's surprised, the girl was a lot faster than the youngest Tendou daughter had thought. The other girl was barely managing to evade her pursuer, Yuka weaved between crowds of people, turning every corner she came to, and throwing as many obstacles in Akane's way as possible. The raven-haired girl nimbly dodged each barrier placed in front of her, but was always stalled in crowds, taking a bit of time to... test the firmness of the fruits in each particular bushel she ran through. Finally the chase lead back to the front of the campus, where Yuka's run came to a sudden and unfortunate stop, as she ran into something akin to a brick wall.
"Oh, thanks Ranma-sama, I didn't think I would ever catch up with her!" Akane said while huffing for air.
"Um, don't mention it," stated a male-Ranma, not quite sure what he had missed. One of Akane's friends just ran into him, which annoyed him, but from the panic that was on her face he assumed it was an honest mistake, "what's with her?"
"Oh, she's just a bit nervous! I swear it's not like I'm going to hurt her, right Ranma-sama?" Akane winked suggestively at the boy, causing him to baulk a bit.
"I'll just take your word for it. Just don't get any wet ideas. It's about time I stayed a guy for at least ONE day!"
"Hmph, you are such a virgin, Ranma-sama. Come on, Yuka, we have a few things to discuss in private," with that Akane attempted to drag the gapping girl with her, but a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Nihao!"
The same effect that the girl's return had on Akane had a similar effect on Ranma, except a bit more potent, "Sha-Shampoo, what are you doing back?"
"Airen miss Shampoo, yes?" The Amazon asked with a cute smile.
"NO/YES" reply came at the same time from Ranma and Akane respectively.
"Of course we missed you, Shampoo!" Akane answered again, letting go of Yuka, forgetting about her.
The purple haired girl looked inquisitively at Akane, "Why care if weak girl miss Shampoo?"
"Control," Akane said under her breath, not letting the barb get to her. She was determined this time to get something out of the meeting, be damned in public or not. Akane had developed the hots for the sexy little number, even once asking Onna-Ranma to wear a purple wig. Akane's hungry stare didn't go unnoticed by its target, but Shampoo appeared rather confused about it.
"Well, I was hoping, even with this Ranma business between the two of us, if we could possibly... be friends?"
"What weak girl talking?" Shampoo took a step back as Akane's aura slightly flared before it was reined back in control.
"Look you, I'm trying to be nice!" Akane said through gritted teeth as she slowly walked up to Shampoo, "Is that a problem?"
"Is no problem, mean weak girl know place," Shampoo replied condescendingly.
"Why I aught to..." Akane was trembling with repressed fury, bringing her fist up to bear threateningly.
"You think you challenge Shampoo... weak girl? Shampoo defeat you easy before," Shampoo felt supremely smug as she got under the other girl's ire.
Akane put her face right into Shampoos, while the other girl's expression became more serious and glared right back. The look on the Amazon's face was all Akane could bear, as she lashed out and grabbed the other girl's head, and kissed her deeply.
Everyone in the schoolyard froze at the sight, except for Ranma. "Yeah, like we didn't see this coming," he said with a half lidded stare, more to himself than anyone. As the kiss went longer though, the pigtailed boy became more irritated.
Shampoo's mental functions had locked up through out the kiss. Even if she were capable of thought, she would not have known what to do in this situation. A girl just kissed her, on the lips, in front of her 'tribe'... if great-grandmother heard about this, Shampoo is *so* screwed.
Akane backed off with a dazed, but pleasantly happy expression on her face, "You know Shampoo, it would be a lot better for the both of us if you participated... Shampoo? You there?" Akane started waving her hands in front of the other catatonic girl, gaining no response. After a few seconds, Akane lowered her hand and endearingly graced her fingertips over Shampoo's mid-section. That did get a response.
At the very personal touch, Shampoo's head shot up with a glare almost capable of melting steel, "SHAMPOO KILL!!!!!!" The Amazon's hand pushed the other girl away, and then was suddenly holding one of her maces, driving it towards Akane's head. Ranma had been caught by surprise by the motion, and had no time to intercept the blow before it was too late.
Fortunately, it became a moot point, as a knarled staff shot through the air towards the bonbori, pushing it off course and to the outside of Akane's head. After the staff impacted with the other weapon, it ricocheted into the air, to be intercepted by a blur that ran off out of sight. Finding nothing to slow the force, Shampoo yelped as she came off balance, falling on top of the Tendou girl, and bringing them both onto the ground.
"I knew you'd warm up eventually," purred Akane as she stroked the other girl's hair. Before Shampoo could respond negatively, she felt a piece of paper land on her head. Her wrath momentarily forgotten, the Amazon pulled the piece of paper and found that it was a note, addressed to her in Mandarin. After quickly scanning it, Shampoo went pale.
"Shampoo come back later..." With that, she quickly bounded off in the direction the previous blur traveled to.
"Shampoo's such a tease," stated Akane with a sigh, "Oh well, all's not lost, where did Yuka go?"
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"*Sigh*, Shampoo, what do you think you were doing?" asked Cologne as she sat on a roof, smoking her pipe.
"Elder, she embarrassed me in front of her whole tribe! Only my husband may kiss me!" furiously answered Shampoo in Mandarin.
Cologne squawked with laughter before replying, "She wanted to do much more than just kiss you, grand daughter, and speak Japanese, it's good practice."
Shampoo blinked at what was implied, "Great Grandmother, what you mean?"
The old woman took another slow drag of her pipe, "I'm certainly not gonna explain it to you at this time. But as I was asking, what do you think you were trying to do, harming your wife?"
Shampoo hunched over sullenly, "Shampoo no want weak girl for wife, Shampoo no want WIFE!"
"Well, you only brought this upon yourself," answered Cologne gravely, "Your arrogance allowed you to drop your guard. If she had been wanting to kill you, she may have succeeded." Shampoo could only nod remorsefully as she was admonished.
"Now, since you have announced your return, I think it's only fair that the boy and girl get to meet their Mother-in-Law," Cologne chuckled at the prospect.
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Despite not being able to find Yuka, Akane was in high spirits, totally opposite to her pigtailed compatriot. Otoku-Ranma's mood didn't go unnoticed either.
"What's wrong with you?" Akane asked, her voice all bells and sweetness.
Ranma turned a glare towards her before responding, "S' noth'n, alright? Just leave me alone."
Akane skipped in front of Ranma, halting both their progresses, "We're not going anywhere until you tell me what's got you so down."
"It's nothing a pervert like you would understand," Ranma growled, before stepping around the girl to continue. Akane stood where she was, absorbing what Ranma just called her.
"Hey, now just one minute!" Akane shouted as she turned to face the retreating boy, "Just who are you calling 'pervert'?" The pot wasn't any blacker than the kettle.
"You, pervert," Ranma snapped back, "Kissing Shampoo in front of the whole school like that, don't you have any shame?"
"You're the one that told me shame gets in the way of desire," Akane replied dryly, "Your female side wouldn't have a problem with it."
"Oh yeah?" Ranma responded, before lifting a pail of water over his head, "guess again." With that, the redhead bounded for the rooftops.
"Ranma..."
From a nearby roof, Shampoo watched events unfold. As much as she disliked it, until she found a way out of this predicament, the weak girl, er, Akane was her wife by Amazon law, though Shampoo didn't understand why a girl would want to have a wife in the first place. The point of a husband was to take care of the home, what was a wife supposed to do?
Shampoo landed in front of Akane, and noticed the girl wasn't paying attention to her or maybe did not notice her. Akane had her head bowed down, moist droplets falling from her face. With a gulp and a firmed resolve, Shampoo made herself known.
"Why weak girl cry?"
Akane looked up at the Amazon a bit surprised. Once she realized how she looked, the Tendou girl hastefully wiped the tears from her eyes, "Nothing, I... I'm okay, really. Don't worry about it."
"Airen say you not strong? Shampoo straighten Husband out when we go back to village," Shampoo stated proudly, making a show of her strength in hopes of cheering the other girl up.
"No, it's nothing like that," Akane looked at Shampoo with a smile of gratitude. Shampoo took a step back and blinked at the warming smile the other girl was giving her; It wasn't the same one that the girl gave Shampoo before which made the Amazon feel... naked.
"Shampoo, um, why are you here anyhow? I thought you would be at least after Ranma-sama."
Shampoo grimaced at the name Akane gave their co-husband; if she was going to bring this weak girl into the tribe, first thing she would have to do is break this submissive streak in her and make her a proud Amazon woman. Next would be of course to make her not so weak.
Shampoo turned away, slightly flustered, before turning back to Akane, "Because... Shampoo have important talking with wife..."
Akane blinked.
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Onna-Ranma ran from rooftop to rooftop without a general destination.
"How dare she," the redhead thought to herself, "Akane belongs to me, and ME only!" Through her self-musings, she failed to notice a short figure tailing her until it was almost too late.
Ranma's sixth sense kicked in, causing her to jump up into the air, barely avoiding the head of a staff that powdered the shingle she was standing on. Turning in mid air, the redhead's instincts guided her as she parried each and every thrust of wood at her. Ranma landed on the roof, facing an ancient woman, who landed herself balanced a top a staff
"Not bad, son-in-law, not too shabby at all."
"Oh, how cute!" Ranma proclaimed as she eyed the unusual woman. Cologne's eyes narrowed as she realized what was going through the young girl's mind.
"Don't EVEN think it!" the elder shot out, "I'm much too old for games like that anyway."
"I bet I can make you feel a thousand years livelier," the pigtailed girl challenged.
"Uh..." Cologne inconspicuously hopped back a few steps to get a bit of distance, "Anyhow, I just wanted to meet my future Son-in-law."
"Do I look like anyone's son to you?" Ranma asked casually.
Cologne chuckled, "At the moment, no, but I am well aware of your curse. Took me a bit of time to explain it to my Grand Daughter. I have to say you really managed to confuse the poor girl."
"And your daughter would be..." Ranma asked, now a bit weary of the old woman.
"Your wife, or owner, depending, Shampoo. Oh look at the time!" Cologne made a show of looking at an invisible watch on her wrist, "I best be going. We'll have plenty of time to talk later." Cologne bounded off before Ranma could even begin to give chase.
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"Excuse me, um, wife?" Akane asked, suddenly hoarse.
"Yes, you Shampoo wife. We now go get Airen and go to village."
"But... bu-but...'wife'?"
Shampoo sighed, "Yes, you wife, Great-Grandmother say so."
"What does your Grandmother have to do with this?" Akane yelled, finally being able to focus on something.
"Great Grandmother elder of village, she say is law."
"We don't have any laws that allow that!" Akane fumed.
"No Japanese law, is village law."
Akane rubbed her temples to assist in reducing her building headache, "Look, why don't we go back to my home and we can discuss this." An idea came to Akane, "We can talk about this in the tub, I could use a nice soak right about now."
"Is okay, we pack Weak Girl things after bath and go to village with husband."
Akane knew that this was going to be a *very* long bath....
______________________________________________________________ ____________________
Cologne sat on a roof, watching the horizon as she waited for someone; unnoticing the figure approaching her stealthfully.
"So this is where ya been hiding out at."
Cologne closed her eyes in amusement; it was about time she had shown up. Without even turning around, replied, "Well done, Son-in-law. There are few that can sneak up on me."
"Yeah, well it comes in handy at times," Ranma replied, licking her lips, "so, what to do with you?"
"First thing you're gonna do, is learn to show some respect," quipped Cologne, turning around and tapping Ranma in a spot at the bottom of the sternum.
Onna-Ranma stepped back, feeling a tingle pass through her, "Wha-what was that?"
"The way I see it, child, you have two options," Cologne stated, holding two fingers up, "You can either become my Great Granddaughter's husband, and return to China, or you can return to China as my daughter's domestic slave."
"And why would I wanna do either of those?" asked Ranma wearily.
"That was the Cat's Tongue pressure point. Now your body has become extremely sensitive to temperature, making even the most tepid water seem scalding. With that, you won't be able to change back to a male."
Ranma-chan suddenly became teary eyed, then dropped to her knees, "How, how could I ever repay you for such kindness?"
Cologne blinked, pot on the defensive by the display before her, "What are you babbling about, child?"
"This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me! I'm not gonna return with ya to China though, but I can give your Great Granddaughter my thanks," Ranma grinned lecherously.
"You're not making any sense, fool!" Cologne was now becoming agitated; this wasn't exactly the attitude she was expecting.
"I'm... never gonna be a virgin again, never gonna be a virgin again. Neeverrr gonna be a virgin again! Never gonna be a virgin again!" Ranma suddenly broke out into dance.
The Elder didn't understand, this was the first she had ever encountered someone touched by the springs of Jusenkyo to *not* want to change back to their rightful form. After a quick ponder, Ranma's rantings gave her another idea.
Ranma turned to face her, and bowed deeply, then stood upright. Once she was fully upright, Cologne struck again, this time an inch below the bellybutton and off to the left.
"Hey! You turned it off!" Ranma-chan pouted.
"I did nothing of the sort. Let's say I'm giving you some added incentive to come to a decision about my Granddaughter. Don't dally on it now!" Cologne jumped off the roof, cackling in triumph, leaving Ranma to wonder what just happened.
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Ranma-chan returned back to the dojo, and went straight for Akane's room. The youngest Tendou sister had her head on her desk, grumbling, while Shampoo inspected her host's room to find what was necessary to take with them.
Shampoo first noticed Ranma, "Airen back? You speak with Great Grandmother?" Ranma nodded in affirmation, inconspicuously locking the door behind her as a grin appeared on her face.
"Is good! Shampoo go now!" Before Ranma or Akane could get in a word, the girl was out through the window.
"Damn, didn't you even try to butter her up first?" Ranma reprimanded Akane.
"I couldn't even convince her that I wasn't her wife," Akane said tiredly.
Onna-Ranma raised an eyebrow at that one, then recalled earlier that day when Akane gave the Amazon a rather steamy kiss. The redhead's attitude changed at the recollection, "Well, you acted like you sure as hell wouldn't have minded," with that, Ranma turned to unlock the door. Maybe she should go find Nabiki for the night.
Before she could open the door completely, a hand closed it, "Ranma-sama, I-I'm sorry, for whatever I did that upset you."
Ranma turned and looked at the raven-haired girl a bit menacingly, "Do you even know what you're saying you're sorry for?"
"Something like this?" Akane reached out and kissed the other girl on the lips gently, earning a sigh from the shorter girl, "well, I guess it wasn't that big a deal..."
Akane smiled as she led her partner back to her bed.
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Three hours later...
"ONE MORE TIME!" Ranma-chan screamed, her eyes wild.
Akane rolled over, totally exhausted, "I ca hary hoove hi hongue now," the girl whined.
"But I haven't... not even once..." Onna-Ranma babbled, then it hit her, "That second pressure point..." she thought to herself...
____________________________________________________________ ______________________
Cologne sat in the room they were renting for the time being, when she heard the scream from the distance.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL GET YOU, YOU OLD GHOUL!!!!!"
With a smile, Cologne turned off the light and decided to turn in, singing herself a lullaby.
"I can't get no... sa-tis-fac-tion..."
"Don't fight it, Yu-chan! It's bigger than both of us!" Akane chased a panicked Yuka around school campus, much to Akane's surprised, the girl was a lot faster than the youngest Tendou daughter had thought. The other girl was barely managing to evade her pursuer, Yuka weaved between crowds of people, turning every corner she came to, and throwing as many obstacles in Akane's way as possible. The raven-haired girl nimbly dodged each barrier placed in front of her, but was always stalled in crowds, taking a bit of time to... test the firmness of the fruits in each particular bushel she ran through. Finally the chase lead back to the front of the campus, where Yuka's run came to a sudden and unfortunate stop, as she ran into something akin to a brick wall.
"Oh, thanks Ranma-sama, I didn't think I would ever catch up with her!" Akane said while huffing for air.
"Um, don't mention it," stated a male-Ranma, not quite sure what he had missed. One of Akane's friends just ran into him, which annoyed him, but from the panic that was on her face he assumed it was an honest mistake, "what's with her?"
"Oh, she's just a bit nervous! I swear it's not like I'm going to hurt her, right Ranma-sama?" Akane winked suggestively at the boy, causing him to baulk a bit.
"I'll just take your word for it. Just don't get any wet ideas. It's about time I stayed a guy for at least ONE day!"
"Hmph, you are such a virgin, Ranma-sama. Come on, Yuka, we have a few things to discuss in private," with that Akane attempted to drag the gapping girl with her, but a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.
"Nihao!"
The same effect that the girl's return had on Akane had a similar effect on Ranma, except a bit more potent, "Sha-Shampoo, what are you doing back?"
"Airen miss Shampoo, yes?" The Amazon asked with a cute smile.
"NO/YES" reply came at the same time from Ranma and Akane respectively.
"Of course we missed you, Shampoo!" Akane answered again, letting go of Yuka, forgetting about her.
The purple haired girl looked inquisitively at Akane, "Why care if weak girl miss Shampoo?"
"Control," Akane said under her breath, not letting the barb get to her. She was determined this time to get something out of the meeting, be damned in public or not. Akane had developed the hots for the sexy little number, even once asking Onna-Ranma to wear a purple wig. Akane's hungry stare didn't go unnoticed by its target, but Shampoo appeared rather confused about it.
"Well, I was hoping, even with this Ranma business between the two of us, if we could possibly... be friends?"
"What weak girl talking?" Shampoo took a step back as Akane's aura slightly flared before it was reined back in control.
"Look you, I'm trying to be nice!" Akane said through gritted teeth as she slowly walked up to Shampoo, "Is that a problem?"
"Is no problem, mean weak girl know place," Shampoo replied condescendingly.
"Why I aught to..." Akane was trembling with repressed fury, bringing her fist up to bear threateningly.
"You think you challenge Shampoo... weak girl? Shampoo defeat you easy before," Shampoo felt supremely smug as she got under the other girl's ire.
Akane put her face right into Shampoos, while the other girl's expression became more serious and glared right back. The look on the Amazon's face was all Akane could bear, as she lashed out and grabbed the other girl's head, and kissed her deeply.
Everyone in the schoolyard froze at the sight, except for Ranma. "Yeah, like we didn't see this coming," he said with a half lidded stare, more to himself than anyone. As the kiss went longer though, the pigtailed boy became more irritated.
Shampoo's mental functions had locked up through out the kiss. Even if she were capable of thought, she would not have known what to do in this situation. A girl just kissed her, on the lips, in front of her 'tribe'... if great-grandmother heard about this, Shampoo is *so* screwed.
Akane backed off with a dazed, but pleasantly happy expression on her face, "You know Shampoo, it would be a lot better for the both of us if you participated... Shampoo? You there?" Akane started waving her hands in front of the other catatonic girl, gaining no response. After a few seconds, Akane lowered her hand and endearingly graced her fingertips over Shampoo's mid-section. That did get a response.
At the very personal touch, Shampoo's head shot up with a glare almost capable of melting steel, "SHAMPOO KILL!!!!!!" The Amazon's hand pushed the other girl away, and then was suddenly holding one of her maces, driving it towards Akane's head. Ranma had been caught by surprise by the motion, and had no time to intercept the blow before it was too late.
Fortunately, it became a moot point, as a knarled staff shot through the air towards the bonbori, pushing it off course and to the outside of Akane's head. After the staff impacted with the other weapon, it ricocheted into the air, to be intercepted by a blur that ran off out of sight. Finding nothing to slow the force, Shampoo yelped as she came off balance, falling on top of the Tendou girl, and bringing them both onto the ground.
"I knew you'd warm up eventually," purred Akane as she stroked the other girl's hair. Before Shampoo could respond negatively, she felt a piece of paper land on her head. Her wrath momentarily forgotten, the Amazon pulled the piece of paper and found that it was a note, addressed to her in Mandarin. After quickly scanning it, Shampoo went pale.
"Shampoo come back later..." With that, she quickly bounded off in the direction the previous blur traveled to.
"Shampoo's such a tease," stated Akane with a sigh, "Oh well, all's not lost, where did Yuka go?"
__________________________________________________________________ ________________
"*Sigh*, Shampoo, what do you think you were doing?" asked Cologne as she sat on a roof, smoking her pipe.
"Elder, she embarrassed me in front of her whole tribe! Only my husband may kiss me!" furiously answered Shampoo in Mandarin.
Cologne squawked with laughter before replying, "She wanted to do much more than just kiss you, grand daughter, and speak Japanese, it's good practice."
Shampoo blinked at what was implied, "Great Grandmother, what you mean?"
The old woman took another slow drag of her pipe, "I'm certainly not gonna explain it to you at this time. But as I was asking, what do you think you were trying to do, harming your wife?"
Shampoo hunched over sullenly, "Shampoo no want weak girl for wife, Shampoo no want WIFE!"
"Well, you only brought this upon yourself," answered Cologne gravely, "Your arrogance allowed you to drop your guard. If she had been wanting to kill you, she may have succeeded." Shampoo could only nod remorsefully as she was admonished.
"Now, since you have announced your return, I think it's only fair that the boy and girl get to meet their Mother-in-Law," Cologne chuckled at the prospect.
_____________________________________________________________ _____________________
Despite not being able to find Yuka, Akane was in high spirits, totally opposite to her pigtailed compatriot. Otoku-Ranma's mood didn't go unnoticed either.
"What's wrong with you?" Akane asked, her voice all bells and sweetness.
Ranma turned a glare towards her before responding, "S' noth'n, alright? Just leave me alone."
Akane skipped in front of Ranma, halting both their progresses, "We're not going anywhere until you tell me what's got you so down."
"It's nothing a pervert like you would understand," Ranma growled, before stepping around the girl to continue. Akane stood where she was, absorbing what Ranma just called her.
"Hey, now just one minute!" Akane shouted as she turned to face the retreating boy, "Just who are you calling 'pervert'?" The pot wasn't any blacker than the kettle.
"You, pervert," Ranma snapped back, "Kissing Shampoo in front of the whole school like that, don't you have any shame?"
"You're the one that told me shame gets in the way of desire," Akane replied dryly, "Your female side wouldn't have a problem with it."
"Oh yeah?" Ranma responded, before lifting a pail of water over his head, "guess again." With that, the redhead bounded for the rooftops.
"Ranma..."
From a nearby roof, Shampoo watched events unfold. As much as she disliked it, until she found a way out of this predicament, the weak girl, er, Akane was her wife by Amazon law, though Shampoo didn't understand why a girl would want to have a wife in the first place. The point of a husband was to take care of the home, what was a wife supposed to do?
Shampoo landed in front of Akane, and noticed the girl wasn't paying attention to her or maybe did not notice her. Akane had her head bowed down, moist droplets falling from her face. With a gulp and a firmed resolve, Shampoo made herself known.
"Why weak girl cry?"
Akane looked up at the Amazon a bit surprised. Once she realized how she looked, the Tendou girl hastefully wiped the tears from her eyes, "Nothing, I... I'm okay, really. Don't worry about it."
"Airen say you not strong? Shampoo straighten Husband out when we go back to village," Shampoo stated proudly, making a show of her strength in hopes of cheering the other girl up.
"No, it's nothing like that," Akane looked at Shampoo with a smile of gratitude. Shampoo took a step back and blinked at the warming smile the other girl was giving her; It wasn't the same one that the girl gave Shampoo before which made the Amazon feel... naked.
"Shampoo, um, why are you here anyhow? I thought you would be at least after Ranma-sama."
Shampoo grimaced at the name Akane gave their co-husband; if she was going to bring this weak girl into the tribe, first thing she would have to do is break this submissive streak in her and make her a proud Amazon woman. Next would be of course to make her not so weak.
Shampoo turned away, slightly flustered, before turning back to Akane, "Because... Shampoo have important talking with wife..."
Akane blinked.
______________________________________________________________ ____________________
Onna-Ranma ran from rooftop to rooftop without a general destination.
"How dare she," the redhead thought to herself, "Akane belongs to me, and ME only!" Through her self-musings, she failed to notice a short figure tailing her until it was almost too late.
Ranma's sixth sense kicked in, causing her to jump up into the air, barely avoiding the head of a staff that powdered the shingle she was standing on. Turning in mid air, the redhead's instincts guided her as she parried each and every thrust of wood at her. Ranma landed on the roof, facing an ancient woman, who landed herself balanced a top a staff
"Not bad, son-in-law, not too shabby at all."
"Oh, how cute!" Ranma proclaimed as she eyed the unusual woman. Cologne's eyes narrowed as she realized what was going through the young girl's mind.
"Don't EVEN think it!" the elder shot out, "I'm much too old for games like that anyway."
"I bet I can make you feel a thousand years livelier," the pigtailed girl challenged.
"Uh..." Cologne inconspicuously hopped back a few steps to get a bit of distance, "Anyhow, I just wanted to meet my future Son-in-law."
"Do I look like anyone's son to you?" Ranma asked casually.
Cologne chuckled, "At the moment, no, but I am well aware of your curse. Took me a bit of time to explain it to my Grand Daughter. I have to say you really managed to confuse the poor girl."
"And your daughter would be..." Ranma asked, now a bit weary of the old woman.
"Your wife, or owner, depending, Shampoo. Oh look at the time!" Cologne made a show of looking at an invisible watch on her wrist, "I best be going. We'll have plenty of time to talk later." Cologne bounded off before Ranma could even begin to give chase.
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"Excuse me, um, wife?" Akane asked, suddenly hoarse.
"Yes, you Shampoo wife. We now go get Airen and go to village."
"But... bu-but...'wife'?"
Shampoo sighed, "Yes, you wife, Great-Grandmother say so."
"What does your Grandmother have to do with this?" Akane yelled, finally being able to focus on something.
"Great Grandmother elder of village, she say is law."
"We don't have any laws that allow that!" Akane fumed.
"No Japanese law, is village law."
Akane rubbed her temples to assist in reducing her building headache, "Look, why don't we go back to my home and we can discuss this." An idea came to Akane, "We can talk about this in the tub, I could use a nice soak right about now."
"Is okay, we pack Weak Girl things after bath and go to village with husband."
Akane knew that this was going to be a *very* long bath....
______________________________________________________________ ____________________
Cologne sat on a roof, watching the horizon as she waited for someone; unnoticing the figure approaching her stealthfully.
"So this is where ya been hiding out at."
Cologne closed her eyes in amusement; it was about time she had shown up. Without even turning around, replied, "Well done, Son-in-law. There are few that can sneak up on me."
"Yeah, well it comes in handy at times," Ranma replied, licking her lips, "so, what to do with you?"
"First thing you're gonna do, is learn to show some respect," quipped Cologne, turning around and tapping Ranma in a spot at the bottom of the sternum.
Onna-Ranma stepped back, feeling a tingle pass through her, "Wha-what was that?"
"The way I see it, child, you have two options," Cologne stated, holding two fingers up, "You can either become my Great Granddaughter's husband, and return to China, or you can return to China as my daughter's domestic slave."
"And why would I wanna do either of those?" asked Ranma wearily.
"That was the Cat's Tongue pressure point. Now your body has become extremely sensitive to temperature, making even the most tepid water seem scalding. With that, you won't be able to change back to a male."
Ranma-chan suddenly became teary eyed, then dropped to her knees, "How, how could I ever repay you for such kindness?"
Cologne blinked, pot on the defensive by the display before her, "What are you babbling about, child?"
"This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me! I'm not gonna return with ya to China though, but I can give your Great Granddaughter my thanks," Ranma grinned lecherously.
"You're not making any sense, fool!" Cologne was now becoming agitated; this wasn't exactly the attitude she was expecting.
"I'm... never gonna be a virgin again, never gonna be a virgin again. Neeverrr gonna be a virgin again! Never gonna be a virgin again!" Ranma suddenly broke out into dance.
The Elder didn't understand, this was the first she had ever encountered someone touched by the springs of Jusenkyo to *not* want to change back to their rightful form. After a quick ponder, Ranma's rantings gave her another idea.
Ranma turned to face her, and bowed deeply, then stood upright. Once she was fully upright, Cologne struck again, this time an inch below the bellybutton and off to the left.
"Hey! You turned it off!" Ranma-chan pouted.
"I did nothing of the sort. Let's say I'm giving you some added incentive to come to a decision about my Granddaughter. Don't dally on it now!" Cologne jumped off the roof, cackling in triumph, leaving Ranma to wonder what just happened.
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Ranma-chan returned back to the dojo, and went straight for Akane's room. The youngest Tendou sister had her head on her desk, grumbling, while Shampoo inspected her host's room to find what was necessary to take with them.
Shampoo first noticed Ranma, "Airen back? You speak with Great Grandmother?" Ranma nodded in affirmation, inconspicuously locking the door behind her as a grin appeared on her face.
"Is good! Shampoo go now!" Before Ranma or Akane could get in a word, the girl was out through the window.
"Damn, didn't you even try to butter her up first?" Ranma reprimanded Akane.
"I couldn't even convince her that I wasn't her wife," Akane said tiredly.
Onna-Ranma raised an eyebrow at that one, then recalled earlier that day when Akane gave the Amazon a rather steamy kiss. The redhead's attitude changed at the recollection, "Well, you acted like you sure as hell wouldn't have minded," with that, Ranma turned to unlock the door. Maybe she should go find Nabiki for the night.
Before she could open the door completely, a hand closed it, "Ranma-sama, I-I'm sorry, for whatever I did that upset you."
Ranma turned and looked at the raven-haired girl a bit menacingly, "Do you even know what you're saying you're sorry for?"
"Something like this?" Akane reached out and kissed the other girl on the lips gently, earning a sigh from the shorter girl, "well, I guess it wasn't that big a deal..."
Akane smiled as she led her partner back to her bed.
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Three hours later...
"ONE MORE TIME!" Ranma-chan screamed, her eyes wild.
Akane rolled over, totally exhausted, "I ca hary hoove hi hongue now," the girl whined.
"But I haven't... not even once..." Onna-Ranma babbled, then it hit her, "That second pressure point..." she thought to herself...
____________________________________________________________ ______________________
Cologne sat in the room they were renting for the time being, when she heard the scream from the distance.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL GET YOU, YOU OLD GHOUL!!!!!"
With a smile, Cologne turned off the light and decided to turn in, singing herself a lullaby.
"I can't get no... sa-tis-fac-tion..."